April 10, 2024 • 18 mins
Join us for an enlightening partner pop quiz, where we dive into the depths of our relationship, emphasizing the importance of checking in and staying connected. From shared dreams to navigating challenges, we share insights with a touch of humor, offering valuable tips on maintaining a strong and loving bond. Tune in for a fun and insightful journey that will inspire you to check in with your partner. #Relationships #LoveQuiz #Understanding #CheckIn #RelationshipPodcast #DatingToEngaged #LoveAndSanity
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
How well would you say you know me? I think pretty well. As your partner?
I think pretty well. Pretty well. Well enough for a pop quiz?
Sure. Why not? So, I mean, this is something I've been thinking about is just
how well do you actually know the person you sleep next to each night? Oh.
Which is a big question. Like, are you married to a serial killer?
Yeah. You know, funny story on that, actually. My dad actually told my mom that
(00:23):
he could actually marry her because she was the first,
woman or first person period in a house he
could sleep in the same house with and not feel like she was going to kill him
in the middle of the night which that's a fair statement your
dad is my dad yeah your dad is very paranoid and
your mom he was legit like he was legitimately very serious when he said that
well that makes sense i think it was part of his proposal speech like thank
(00:46):
you for not trying to kill me the moment will you please marry me and she's
like no i'm good she did she did turn him down twice or three times i don't
know something always proposed on On Thanksgiving Day, after she would cook,
he would go to my grandma's. No, it was the grandma.
Grandma would cook. Yeah. And
he'd be like, man, I need to get this every year. And so he would propose.
(01:06):
And she turned him down two years in a row. She was like, you got to love me
more than just for the turkey. Than just the food. The turkey.
If someone cooked you a good dinner, though, you might.
Your knees might buckle a bit. You do love food. I do. But you cooked me some
meals. And I still love you. Let's move on to the topic of today's.
I think this is a good thing to do as a couple to check in with each other of
(01:29):
just how well do you know the other person and their stage of life.
Maybe like before you even.
Oh, you should definitely do this before you get married or engaged.
We never did this. Well, I think,
I mean, I'm sure we did some premarital thing. We did. We kind of did.
Where did you find such a quiz? I got this from a great little site.
(01:50):
Good place to go. The Gottman Institute. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I've heard of them. Yeah.
It's a good real-life couple trying to help real-life couples deal with real-life coupling.
Issues. Real-life issues. So let's dive in. Okay. This is going to be pretty
quick because there's a lot of questions here. Okay. But we'll try to be quick and sufficient.
And these are things that you should probably ask your partner at home if you
(02:11):
don't, if you couldn't, if you can't answer these things without hesitation,
then you should probably talk about it.
Alright, so question number one on the list. You can name your partner's best friends. Yes.
I feel like that's a cheat code, though, because that's basically your bridal
party. Because that's your bridal party, unless it's been, like, far too many years.
I mean, like... But you still invited all your best friends to your wedding,
and you made those invitations together.
(02:31):
Yes, like those two other people. So maybe... Who named... Start with a B.
And then there was that one person who didn't come.
Oh, Rafa Baron, yes, yes. Because he couldn't.
Yeah, that's easy. And then outside of that, I feel like it's your brother's,
which was your bridal party. and then everybody in the bridal party.
I think actually you should probably sit down with your partner before you're
(02:52):
about to get engaged and be like, if we're to have a wedding. Do you have friends?
Well, no, you should predict each other's. Like I bet this is the list of people
you would invite. And that would kind of tell you if you know this question.
Yeah, I feel like that's, it's pretty much everyone you invited to the wedding
because our wedding was so small.
Right. Yeah. All right, let's move on. Question number two. I know what stresses
(03:13):
my partner is currently facing. same um yes you can say that with confidence
yeah i think so like lila's well-being our daughter yep,
Any sort of job and providing for our family. No. Being like a spiritual leader for our family.
That's pretty good. I mean. It's pretty spot on. Your health on occasion.
(03:35):
I know your top stressor is when my next meal is coming. You're so bad.
But yeah, I was thinking about like what I'm going to make later.
I'm hungry already. Already.
No, I think I know your real life stresses. I just ate. Taking care of our daughter.
Making sure that she is not just surviving but thriving thriving
setting yourself up for success we have
(03:58):
a lot of mottos they're your mottos that
you just imprinted upon me good mottos okay okay
i can tell you some of my partner's life
dreams your life dreams like like
your life goals oh yeah i
mean like i think you know dream world you
would like create movies and stories to tell people
(04:19):
oh yeah that's very lofty but yeah that's pretty accurate i
think you just want to like a happy life with like full of love and children
i would like to make an impact upon the world yeah in a positive way i like
to leave this world a better place than i found it beyond just my family which
i obviously want to impact greatly yeah i feel like i knew that i know yours.
(04:42):
You want to run a restaurant or a little bakery no i
don't i just want to raise good kids you do but if you
had a restaurant or bakery oh it would be good so for
all yours this is easy for me it's just food related
okay my quiz for your stuff this isn't about me i can tell you about my partner's
basic philosophy of life get your job done do your job that's one motto i well
(05:09):
i think yeah wait Wait, my basic philosophy?
I think like your basic, like how you approach life.
Oh, like love, love the Lord.
You love like your very family first philosophy, which I think is good.
Know so i think i don't think of like philosophies i
(05:32):
think i very much have this philosophy of making sure
you live each day to its fullest and you don't have any
regrets and don't wait for tomorrow yeah that's fair okay yeah
maybe i didn't know that oh that's pretty good
i mean like i did like a half a point i did but i didn't you
didn't really get into it okay i know the
names of some my some of the people who have been
(05:53):
irritating my partner lately oh yeah let's just
let's move move on to the next one i know their names and i
know the stories surrounding it we're very open and this
is a very easy quiz this is too easy we talk too much i
think we talk enough i can list the relatives my
partner likes the least yep yeah but i mean like sort of like but you don't
(06:16):
like you don't like really dislike anyone no i don't i think everyone has something
to contribute besides one person in my life we won't name that person they're
not even a family relative it's,
we'll talk about it later okay okay i feel that
my partner knows me pretty well yes definitely would you say that i know you
better than myself than myself he knows me better than i even know myself he'll
(06:39):
be like is this what you're feeling and is this the root issue for it and i
was like oh yes how did you know i will say that sometimes living in this house poor caitlin is like.
Dealing with a psychiatrist 24 7 an untrained
psychiatrist who thinks he's better than his
a psychiatrist or you'll just read you'll read
(06:59):
a blog or an expert aka
you saw a reel on instagram and you're like i am
now a parenting expert we should do this this and this
can i can i but we did the other day i
our daughter i'm not saying you're wrong our daughter was playing with
paper towels on the kitchen counter and it was wet and so
she went to go eat it and so instead of saying this is
(07:21):
this something i'm really big on no it's just we're trying
not to say no this is a big thing you're not supposed to say no you're supposed to really
reserve it for the big things that's a pretty i think commonly known thing
i don't think every parent is really good at it yeah and it's hard
to redirect this is not just like our pediatrician said
this who's like old school was like create an
environment where you don't have to say no right this isn't something like
(07:41):
new wave crunchy it was like create a safe environment
where they can play safely and you don't have to say no all that
because you want them to be able to make their own choices yeah which is like you don't
want you don't want you want to say no to like don't touch
the hot stove right so we really reserve no so
the other day she go to put the paper towel in her mouth like kids do and
eat it i said hello i go why don't we throw it away i go look at daddy throws
(08:02):
his paper down she threw it away i was like yay daddy's an expert and then i
went to kayla and go hey go here's just here's an example of redirection which
now that i say it out loud it feels so cringy that i was just like hey honey
here's an example of good parenting that i just did.
That's what i was trying to explain to you it's not
(08:22):
like what you're saying is wrong it's just how you go
about it gave me such a disdained look of just where'd you see that one and
i'm like i think it's i think it makes a lot of sense and then she then she
begrudgingly came later it does make a lot of sense i understand what you're
saying about this now make a lot of sense it's just how you go about it okay
continue on with your pop quiz let's see if i know you all right When we are apart,
(08:44):
I often think fondly of my partner.
Wow. I mean, like you think fondly of me?
When we are apart, no, this is a personal. I often think fondly.
Yeah. Or you. Do you think fondly of me? I always think fondly of you, but like.
You don't think I think fondly of you? I think you're thinking about Lila like
99% of the time. And then you're like, oh, she's fine. Galen's fine.
(09:09):
As I told your dad.
This is a good story we're gonna move cross-country we
just got married and i didn't think this through this is this is this
is not smart justin i told wait my dad is
this when you were like he was like you better
take care of her yes and i said i said
she's a strong woman she's gonna be able she's gonna do
(09:31):
just fine he was like she can take care of herself
i think you're trying to communicate that i am
independent and incapable of life right
but you are that you're not like this delicate butterfly
like you're a woman and you're gonna be okay and we're gonna we're gonna
get through any tough times but it probably came
off wrong yes because what a dad wants to hear when you're taking their daughter
(09:53):
away is like yes sir i'm going to take care of her now because now having a
daughter i i have lots of regrets i said that to your dad you what were you
thinking sometime i i was i just told you i was trying to paint the picture
that you're a strong woman all All right,
I often touch or kiss my partner affectionately. You do?
Yes. You used to be more affectionate. I think affection gets...
(10:17):
And it shouldn't because you should really show your kids affection.
But like it does. It gets harder.
It gets harder with kids. Because you just got, you got a kid in your hand 24-7.
But you're always like, here, take her. I got to go do this. So it's not like.
Right. Yeah. So. I think affection comes super easy when you first get married
because there's not as many things on that to-do list.
And as the to-do list grows and you have kids and things like that.
There's just more distractions. There's just more distractions.
(10:39):
But you're affectionate. I mean, you kiss me goodnight every night unless I'm like snoring.
The best part is sometimes she'll get
really mad and she'll be like oh because you didn't kiss
me good you didn't kiss me good night last night i'm like i did and
she's like no you did i'm like i did and you rolled over you're like and then
you're like she's like i don't remember that i'm like probably because you're
asleep and then like later in the day she's like oh i kind of remember that
(11:01):
i'm sorry all right you do love me there is fire and passion in the relationship again once a week.
When our daughter actually sleeps i'm just kidding yeah i
would say so we could do a whole podcast on no intimacy
with with with a with a one-year-old i think we already did a little sidebar
(11:23):
segment on one of them romance is definitely still part of our relationship
i think so and then our sex life is mostly satisfying mostly mostly given given
external factors aka like our daughter is constantly awake. The amount of time?
Yes. Yeah, I think yes. It's very satisfying. All right. We'll move on.
My partner is one of my best friends. I would hope so.
(11:45):
That's a big one. I think you are. I don't think enough people think about that
before they get married. No, I don't think they do.
It's really important to have a friendship. You want to marry your best friend,
but you also don't want to marry just your best friend. You want to marry your
best friend that you also have eyes for, a spark for. A spark for.
I think it's nice when you have common things that you You appreciate,
(12:05):
like, you had, like, a theater background in musical theater.
And I appreciate it, even though I might not be talented in that department.
Crickets. Oh, I'm not confirming or denying what you said. But we both enjoy that.
So it's nice to, like, talk about those things. Yeah. Or, I don't know.
I agree with that. I can follow football enough to keep up with.
(12:29):
You don't quite understand. I don't quite get it, but I try.
My obsession with Tom Brady, but. Nobody does.
We love just talking to each other.
Yeah. We just don't get enough time to talk to each other, truly.
I think when we have those times and opportunities to just talk,
we're like, oh, we had like an adult conversation that didn't revolve around
our daughter's poop consistency.
(12:49):
What a refreshing moment. Which isn't, I mean, it's a lot of poop talk sometimes.
Did you ever think you would talk about poop as much as when you became a parent?
No, or study poop. You're like, ooh, what's this texture?
Okay. There's lots of give and take. Both people have influence in our discussions.
Yeah, I think so. I feel like we have very diplomatic talks about any decision.
(13:14):
Yeah, I think we talk through it a lot, sometimes too much, but better than not enough.
So and then I think we recap it like we talked about this. Do you recall?
That was something that I learned early on in just life.
I'm very big on the recaps. Yeah. So just just want to confirm.
And I think it's good with women because sometimes men say something and then we hear something else.
(13:38):
I'm like, what you said was this? And he's like, no, no, no.
Right. So I think it's important. That recap is important. That recap is important.
I think recaps are great.
All right. I thought this was going to be like a different kind of quiz.
Like things I would really get wrong. Oh, no. I think, I mean,
so far you're doing great. Continue. My partner listens respectfully even when we disagree. Okay.
(13:59):
Do I listen respectfully when we disagree? You do, I would say,
better than me when we disagree. I would agree.
I think, again- I get emotional. This is a female-male difference.
I think I am very good at not getting emotional about disagreement.
There's occasionally things that I will admit I'm not good and I get very angry
(14:21):
about. Oh, you've gotten angry before.
95% of the time, I feel like I'm very even-keeled and like, I'm sorry you feel
that way. Which is kind of infuriating because you want a bit of emotional reaction.
Yeah, it's kind of infuriating sometimes. And you get very emotional.
I can't help it. You really can't. I really can't. I need to work on it.
(14:43):
Well, I mean, it's who you are. You got to validate your emotions.
I mean, it's validation.
It's like a kid. You don't want to tell them, oh, you're fake crying.
Like, no, you're really crying. You're crying. So let's talk about why. All right.
Moving forward. My partner is usually a great help as a problem solver. Yes.
Very much so at the end of the day my partner is glad
to see me i hope so i would
(15:04):
say so all right this is the last page of questions we're almost done we generally
mesh well on basic values and goals in our
life yeah otherwise this is a big one yeah we do we've talked about this a lot
in this this podcast but the importance of being aligned you have to be inlined
on your values and beliefs for sure for certain if you do not it's just like
(15:25):
why make relationships harder than Then they have to be.
My partner appreciates the things I do in this relationship.
Yes. I very much appreciate all the things you do. My partner generally likes my personality.
Like I like your personality or you like my personality? You can say both.
I mean, I like your personality. I think sometimes you like my personality.
(15:47):
I like your personality.
And then my partner respects me. Yes.
That's the end. That's the end? You got like 100%. I thought it would be harder,
like secret things from your past or something.
Oh, like dark, deep skeletons in the closet? Yeah, or like trivia from high
school or something that I definitely would not know. Like what was my favorite color growing up?
(16:09):
Purple. Did I get it? I was green for a long time and then I switched to purple.
Yeah, but at one time it was purple. But at one time it was purple.
Didn't you like paint a room purple in your house? My brother really wanted
a purple and orange room for the Phoenix Suns. Ah, that's what it was.
And I painted about seven coats of purple.
And then the next year he came back and said, I kind of want it,
it's too dark. I want it to be a light blue. And I said, well, I'm not painting that.
(16:33):
Good luck. Good luck. I was going to say, what a good brother until you said,
I'm not painting that. I painted seven coats of purple. I think I did my duty. Oh boy.
Well, I don't think it's that hard to get to know your partner.
No, I don't think so. Talk it through. Yeah.
It's probably something you should do every day. we're big
on our walks and our talks even with our daughter yeah it's important
to recap your day how things went how are you feeling
(16:54):
are you happy etc one of
the things i've been kind of wanting us to do we haven't done yet is to
really lay out a master plan of where do we
see it's hard to plan like where we're
going to be you know five years from now no one knows that question it's a stupid question
that's a stupid question but people who are asking those questions
stop stop asking those questions but i married a
(17:15):
gypsy so i don't know where in the world i'm gonna be you have
no idea where life's gonna take you but i think it is important to map
out hey what are your desires and what are we trying to
accomplish as a family and are those goals in alignment and
if they're not in alignment you know where is the compromise on it
um to make sure that we're moving forward well let's
do that you want to do that yeah
(17:36):
maybe we'll do that maybe like one of these next episodes
we can do that we can do that live on there live live it
could get a little spicy spicy all right well we can salsa spicy we can salsa
that's an inside joke okay no you know well thanks for joining if you like the
show you can always subscribe you can click the bell like us on the instagram
(17:58):
and the tiktok outside of that i'm justin kaylin catch you later bye.
How well would you say you know me? I think pretty well. As your partner?
I think pretty well. Pretty well. Well enough for a pop quiz?
Sure. Why not? So, I mean, this is something I've been thinking about is just
how well do you actually know the person you sleep next to each night? Oh.
Which is a big question. Like, are you married to a serial killer?
Yeah. You know, funny story on that, actually. My dad actually told my mom that
(00:23):
he could actually marry her because she was the first,
woman or first person period in a house he
could sleep in the same house with and not feel like she was going to kill him
in the middle of the night which that's a fair statement your
dad is my dad yeah your dad is very paranoid and
your mom he was legit like he was legitimately very serious when he said that
well that makes sense i think it was part of his proposal speech like thank
(00:46):
you for not trying to kill me the moment will you please marry me and she's
like no i'm good she did she did turn him down twice or three times i don't
know something always proposed on On Thanksgiving Day, after she would cook,
he would go to my grandma's. No, it was the grandma.
Grandma would cook. Yeah. And
he'd be like, man, I need to get this every year. And so he would propose.
(01:06):
And she turned him down two years in a row. She was like, you got to love me
more than just for the turkey. Than just the food. The turkey.
If someone cooked you a good dinner, though, you might.
Your knees might buckle a bit. You do love food. I do. But you cooked me some
meals. And I still love you. Let's move on to the topic of today's.
I think this is a good thing to do as a couple to check in with each other of
(01:29):
just how well do you know the other person and their stage of life.
Maybe like before you even.
Oh, you should definitely do this before you get married or engaged.
We never did this. Well, I think,
I mean, I'm sure we did some premarital thing. We did. We kind of did.
Where did you find such a quiz? I got this from a great little site.
(01:50):
Good place to go. The Gottman Institute. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I've heard of them. Yeah.
It's a good real-life couple trying to help real-life couples deal with real-life coupling.
Issues. Real-life issues. So let's dive in. Okay. This is going to be pretty
quick because there's a lot of questions here. Okay. But we'll try to be quick and sufficient.
And these are things that you should probably ask your partner at home if you
(02:11):
don't, if you couldn't, if you can't answer these things without hesitation,
then you should probably talk about it.
Alright, so question number one on the list. You can name your partner's best friends. Yes.
I feel like that's a cheat code, though, because that's basically your bridal
party. Because that's your bridal party, unless it's been, like, far too many years.
I mean, like... But you still invited all your best friends to your wedding,
and you made those invitations together.
(02:31):
Yes, like those two other people. So maybe... Who named... Start with a B.
And then there was that one person who didn't come.
Oh, Rafa Baron, yes, yes. Because he couldn't.
Yeah, that's easy. And then outside of that, I feel like it's your brother's,
which was your bridal party. and then everybody in the bridal party.
I think actually you should probably sit down with your partner before you're
(02:52):
about to get engaged and be like, if we're to have a wedding. Do you have friends?
Well, no, you should predict each other's. Like I bet this is the list of people
you would invite. And that would kind of tell you if you know this question.
Yeah, I feel like that's, it's pretty much everyone you invited to the wedding
because our wedding was so small.
Right. Yeah. All right, let's move on. Question number two. I know what stresses
(03:13):
my partner is currently facing. same um yes you can say that with confidence
yeah i think so like lila's well-being our daughter yep,
Any sort of job and providing for our family. No. Being like a spiritual leader for our family.
That's pretty good. I mean. It's pretty spot on. Your health on occasion.
(03:35):
I know your top stressor is when my next meal is coming. You're so bad.
But yeah, I was thinking about like what I'm going to make later.
I'm hungry already. Already.
No, I think I know your real life stresses. I just ate. Taking care of our daughter.
Making sure that she is not just surviving but thriving thriving
setting yourself up for success we have
(03:58):
a lot of mottos they're your mottos that
you just imprinted upon me good mottos okay okay
i can tell you some of my partner's life
dreams your life dreams like like
your life goals oh yeah i
mean like i think you know dream world you
would like create movies and stories to tell people
(04:19):
oh yeah that's very lofty but yeah that's pretty accurate i
think you just want to like a happy life with like full of love and children
i would like to make an impact upon the world yeah in a positive way i like
to leave this world a better place than i found it beyond just my family which
i obviously want to impact greatly yeah i feel like i knew that i know yours.
(04:42):
You want to run a restaurant or a little bakery no i
don't i just want to raise good kids you do but if you
had a restaurant or bakery oh it would be good so for
all yours this is easy for me it's just food related
okay my quiz for your stuff this isn't about me i can tell you about my partner's
basic philosophy of life get your job done do your job that's one motto i well
(05:09):
i think yeah wait Wait, my basic philosophy?
I think like your basic, like how you approach life.
Oh, like love, love the Lord.
You love like your very family first philosophy, which I think is good.
Know so i think i don't think of like philosophies i
(05:32):
think i very much have this philosophy of making sure
you live each day to its fullest and you don't have any
regrets and don't wait for tomorrow yeah that's fair okay yeah
maybe i didn't know that oh that's pretty good
i mean like i did like a half a point i did but i didn't you
didn't really get into it okay i know the
names of some my some of the people who have been
(05:53):
irritating my partner lately oh yeah let's just
let's move move on to the next one i know their names and i
know the stories surrounding it we're very open and this
is a very easy quiz this is too easy we talk too much i
think we talk enough i can list the relatives my
partner likes the least yep yeah but i mean like sort of like but you don't
(06:16):
like you don't like really dislike anyone no i don't i think everyone has something
to contribute besides one person in my life we won't name that person they're
not even a family relative it's,
we'll talk about it later okay okay i feel that
my partner knows me pretty well yes definitely would you say that i know you
better than myself than myself he knows me better than i even know myself he'll
(06:39):
be like is this what you're feeling and is this the root issue for it and i
was like oh yes how did you know i will say that sometimes living in this house poor caitlin is like.
Dealing with a psychiatrist 24 7 an untrained
psychiatrist who thinks he's better than his
a psychiatrist or you'll just read you'll read
(06:59):
a blog or an expert aka
you saw a reel on instagram and you're like i am
now a parenting expert we should do this this and this
can i can i but we did the other day i
our daughter i'm not saying you're wrong our daughter was playing with
paper towels on the kitchen counter and it was wet and so
she went to go eat it and so instead of saying this is
(07:21):
this something i'm really big on no it's just we're trying
not to say no this is a big thing you're not supposed to say no you're supposed to really
reserve it for the big things that's a pretty i think commonly known thing
i don't think every parent is really good at it yeah and it's hard
to redirect this is not just like our pediatrician said
this who's like old school was like create an
environment where you don't have to say no right this isn't something like
(07:41):
new wave crunchy it was like create a safe environment
where they can play safely and you don't have to say no all that
because you want them to be able to make their own choices yeah which is like you don't
want you don't want you want to say no to like don't touch
the hot stove right so we really reserve no so
the other day she go to put the paper towel in her mouth like kids do and
eat it i said hello i go why don't we throw it away i go look at daddy throws
(08:02):
his paper down she threw it away i was like yay daddy's an expert and then i
went to kayla and go hey go here's just here's an example of redirection which
now that i say it out loud it feels so cringy that i was just like hey honey
here's an example of good parenting that i just did.
That's what i was trying to explain to you it's not
(08:22):
like what you're saying is wrong it's just how you go
about it gave me such a disdained look of just where'd you see that one and
i'm like i think it's i think it makes a lot of sense and then she then she
begrudgingly came later it does make a lot of sense i understand what you're
saying about this now make a lot of sense it's just how you go about it okay
continue on with your pop quiz let's see if i know you all right When we are apart,
(08:44):
I often think fondly of my partner.
Wow. I mean, like you think fondly of me?
When we are apart, no, this is a personal. I often think fondly.
Yeah. Or you. Do you think fondly of me? I always think fondly of you, but like.
You don't think I think fondly of you? I think you're thinking about Lila like
99% of the time. And then you're like, oh, she's fine. Galen's fine.
(09:09):
As I told your dad.
This is a good story we're gonna move cross-country we
just got married and i didn't think this through this is this is this
is not smart justin i told wait my dad is
this when you were like he was like you better
take care of her yes and i said i said
she's a strong woman she's gonna be able she's gonna do
(09:31):
just fine he was like she can take care of herself
i think you're trying to communicate that i am
independent and incapable of life right
but you are that you're not like this delicate butterfly
like you're a woman and you're gonna be okay and we're gonna we're gonna
get through any tough times but it probably came
off wrong yes because what a dad wants to hear when you're taking their daughter
(09:53):
away is like yes sir i'm going to take care of her now because now having a
daughter i i have lots of regrets i said that to your dad you what were you
thinking sometime i i was i just told you i was trying to paint the picture
that you're a strong woman all All right,
I often touch or kiss my partner affectionately. You do?
Yes. You used to be more affectionate. I think affection gets...
(10:17):
And it shouldn't because you should really show your kids affection.
But like it does. It gets harder.
It gets harder with kids. Because you just got, you got a kid in your hand 24-7.
But you're always like, here, take her. I got to go do this. So it's not like.
Right. Yeah. So. I think affection comes super easy when you first get married
because there's not as many things on that to-do list.
And as the to-do list grows and you have kids and things like that.
There's just more distractions. There's just more distractions.
(10:39):
But you're affectionate. I mean, you kiss me goodnight every night unless I'm like snoring.
The best part is sometimes she'll get
really mad and she'll be like oh because you didn't kiss
me good you didn't kiss me good night last night i'm like i did and
she's like no you did i'm like i did and you rolled over you're like and then
you're like she's like i don't remember that i'm like probably because you're
asleep and then like later in the day she's like oh i kind of remember that
(11:01):
i'm sorry all right you do love me there is fire and passion in the relationship again once a week.
When our daughter actually sleeps i'm just kidding yeah i
would say so we could do a whole podcast on no intimacy
with with with a with a one-year-old i think we already did a little sidebar
(11:23):
segment on one of them romance is definitely still part of our relationship
i think so and then our sex life is mostly satisfying mostly mostly given given
external factors aka like our daughter is constantly awake. The amount of time?
Yes. Yeah, I think yes. It's very satisfying. All right. We'll move on.
My partner is one of my best friends. I would hope so.
(11:45):
That's a big one. I think you are. I don't think enough people think about that
before they get married. No, I don't think they do.
It's really important to have a friendship. You want to marry your best friend,
but you also don't want to marry just your best friend. You want to marry your
best friend that you also have eyes for, a spark for. A spark for.
I think it's nice when you have common things that you You appreciate,
(12:05):
like, you had, like, a theater background in musical theater.
And I appreciate it, even though I might not be talented in that department.
Crickets. Oh, I'm not confirming or denying what you said. But we both enjoy that.
So it's nice to, like, talk about those things. Yeah. Or, I don't know.
I agree with that. I can follow football enough to keep up with.
(12:29):
You don't quite understand. I don't quite get it, but I try.
My obsession with Tom Brady, but. Nobody does.
We love just talking to each other.
Yeah. We just don't get enough time to talk to each other, truly.
I think when we have those times and opportunities to just talk,
we're like, oh, we had like an adult conversation that didn't revolve around
our daughter's poop consistency.
(12:49):
What a refreshing moment. Which isn't, I mean, it's a lot of poop talk sometimes.
Did you ever think you would talk about poop as much as when you became a parent?
No, or study poop. You're like, ooh, what's this texture?
Okay. There's lots of give and take. Both people have influence in our discussions.
Yeah, I think so. I feel like we have very diplomatic talks about any decision.
(13:14):
Yeah, I think we talk through it a lot, sometimes too much, but better than not enough.
So and then I think we recap it like we talked about this. Do you recall?
That was something that I learned early on in just life.
I'm very big on the recaps. Yeah. So just just want to confirm.
And I think it's good with women because sometimes men say something and then we hear something else.
(13:38):
I'm like, what you said was this? And he's like, no, no, no.
Right. So I think it's important. That recap is important. That recap is important.
I think recaps are great.
All right. I thought this was going to be like a different kind of quiz.
Like things I would really get wrong. Oh, no. I think, I mean,
so far you're doing great. Continue. My partner listens respectfully even when we disagree. Okay.
(13:59):
Do I listen respectfully when we disagree? You do, I would say,
better than me when we disagree. I would agree.
I think, again- I get emotional. This is a female-male difference.
I think I am very good at not getting emotional about disagreement.
There's occasionally things that I will admit I'm not good and I get very angry
(14:21):
about. Oh, you've gotten angry before.
95% of the time, I feel like I'm very even-keeled and like, I'm sorry you feel
that way. Which is kind of infuriating because you want a bit of emotional reaction.
Yeah, it's kind of infuriating sometimes. And you get very emotional.
I can't help it. You really can't. I really can't. I need to work on it.
(14:43):
Well, I mean, it's who you are. You got to validate your emotions.
I mean, it's validation.
It's like a kid. You don't want to tell them, oh, you're fake crying.
Like, no, you're really crying. You're crying. So let's talk about why. All right.
Moving forward. My partner is usually a great help as a problem solver. Yes.
Very much so at the end of the day my partner is glad
to see me i hope so i would
(15:04):
say so all right this is the last page of questions we're almost done we generally
mesh well on basic values and goals in our
life yeah otherwise this is a big one yeah we do we've talked about this a lot
in this this podcast but the importance of being aligned you have to be inlined
on your values and beliefs for sure for certain if you do not it's just like
(15:25):
why make relationships harder than Then they have to be.
My partner appreciates the things I do in this relationship.
Yes. I very much appreciate all the things you do. My partner generally likes my personality.
Like I like your personality or you like my personality? You can say both.
I mean, I like your personality. I think sometimes you like my personality.
(15:47):
I like your personality.
And then my partner respects me. Yes.
That's the end. That's the end? You got like 100%. I thought it would be harder,
like secret things from your past or something.
Oh, like dark, deep skeletons in the closet? Yeah, or like trivia from high
school or something that I definitely would not know. Like what was my favorite color growing up?
(16:09):
Purple. Did I get it? I was green for a long time and then I switched to purple.
Yeah, but at one time it was purple. But at one time it was purple.
Didn't you like paint a room purple in your house? My brother really wanted
a purple and orange room for the Phoenix Suns. Ah, that's what it was.
And I painted about seven coats of purple.
And then the next year he came back and said, I kind of want it,
it's too dark. I want it to be a light blue. And I said, well, I'm not painting that.
(16:33):
Good luck. Good luck. I was going to say, what a good brother until you said,
I'm not painting that. I painted seven coats of purple. I think I did my duty. Oh boy.
Well, I don't think it's that hard to get to know your partner.
No, I don't think so. Talk it through. Yeah.
It's probably something you should do every day. we're big
on our walks and our talks even with our daughter yeah it's important
to recap your day how things went how are you feeling
(16:54):
are you happy etc one of
the things i've been kind of wanting us to do we haven't done yet is to
really lay out a master plan of where do we
see it's hard to plan like where we're
going to be you know five years from now no one knows that question it's a stupid question
that's a stupid question but people who are asking those questions
stop stop asking those questions but i married a
(17:15):
gypsy so i don't know where in the world i'm gonna be you have
no idea where life's gonna take you but i think it is important to map
out hey what are your desires and what are we trying to
accomplish as a family and are those goals in alignment and
if they're not in alignment you know where is the compromise on it
um to make sure that we're moving forward well let's
do that you want to do that yeah
(17:36):
maybe we'll do that maybe like one of these next episodes
we can do that we can do that live on there live live it
could get a little spicy spicy all right well we can salsa spicy we can salsa
that's an inside joke okay no you know well thanks for joining if you like the
show you can always subscribe you can click the bell like us on the instagram
(17:58):
and the tiktok outside of that i'm justin kaylin catch you later bye.
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