This is the second part of host, Jen Thompson’s, interview with her husband about all things related to grace, marriage and family.
This is a fun conversation that you won’t want to miss....especially if you’ve been waiting for that cliffhanger to be answered!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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(00:07):
Hi everyone, welcome to the return to jesus podcast.
We are back I have patrick here once again We're going to go for take two.
I checked.
.9I have plenty of storage on my computer this time, so I see no reason for it to crash like what, four times? Did it crash four times? Yeah, something like that.
(00:28):
Yeah, that was a disaster.
.999But this is going to be smooth, and for those of you that didn't tune in last week, this is my wonderful, fabulous, fantastic husband, Patrick Thompson. 7 00:00:39,534.999 --> 00:00:41,674.999 He is the love of my life, my best friend. 8 00:00:41,674.999 --> 00:00:43,875 We've been together since I was 17.
And he was a bit older.
Yeah.
Let's leave it at that.
We're going to leave it at that, folks.
(00:50):
I mean, not horribly older, but the kids think it's weird. 14 00:00:54,90.1 --> 00:00:54,939.988888889 Yeah, they think it's gross. 15 00:00:54,939.988888889 --> 00:00:55,449.922222222 But it's not. 16 00:00:55,449.922222222 --> 00:00:59,909.999 Like, he was a, he was a senior in high school when I was a freshman. 17 00:01:00,249.999 --> 00:01:00,269.999 Yeah.
And that was super normal when we were kids.
Like, freshman.
In the 90s and, uh, where we grew up, yeah.
Yeah.
Maybe.
Like, freshman dating.
But, but we didn't start dating until the summer before my senior year.
(01:10):
So, yeah.
I mean, I think the kids are really making a big deal out of nothing and it worked great for them.
Hello.
They're alive.
So I feel like they should be thanking us.
Okay.
But anyways, um, for those of you that want to hear all of the wonderful things that I said about my husband, you should really go back and listen to last week.
(01:34):
Um, the podcast with the mishaps, because I could go on and on about how wonderful he is.
.999He has modeled And to me throughout all of the years, what real love and unconditional love and grace and just everything.
He's my love of Christ for me over and over and over.
.999So I'm excited.
(01:55):
.999We're going to talk.
And last time we talked a little bit about your personal habits and returns to Jesus throughout the day.
And now.
We're going to go talk about grace because this season is all about grace.
We're going to talk about grace in relation to our children and our marriage.
.999Oh, wait, but before we do that, we, we, whoa, I can't believe I almost forgot. 42 00:02:21,884.999 --> 00:02:31,625 We ended the last week on a cliffhanger because that's what you do when everything is messing up and you don't know how to end. 43 00:02:31,680.1 --> 00:02:34,760 It's just, it's just Patrick's great idea and I actually, I love it.
(02:35):
Everybody's been waiting too to find out the answer.
Yeah, seriously, they're probably just like, oh, when are we going to find out? So, so we asked what was the dumbest thing? Yeah.
That we've ever done? Yeah. 47 00:02:44,979.999 --> 00:02:45,269.999 Subjective.
.999We actually decided after talking that some of the dumbest things that we've ever done might not be Suitable. 49 00:02:51,719.999 --> 00:02:52,339.999 Suitable. 50 00:02:52,979.999 --> 00:02:56,260 So, we will have some reasonable versions.
(02:56):
Reasonable versions.
You want me to go first? Yeah, you go first.
Okay.
I mean, it is ladies first, but whatever.
I'm a guest, so I'm guess, yeah.
I forgot you're the guest.
So, uh, I don't know, with the headphones, so you can go first.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Um, so like, when I was thinking about this, I was thinking like literally what is the dumbest thing? And, you know, I've done a lot of dangerous things, but.
(03:19):
And this was also dangerous, but I drank when I was three.
So again, you know, it's all relative.
Obviously when you're three, you're doing some really dumb things.
Um, but I would go around and this is again back in the eighties when they had Coke bottle cases of eight and we would store, gosh, you're old enough that you drink out of Coke bottles. 65 00:03:38,564.999 --> 00:03:45,54.999 Yes, not the, yeah, not the new, the Mexican Coke that you can get in a bottle, but no, just all Coke came in a glass bottle.
(03:45):
I think it was a pack of eight, um, anyways, so my addiction to soda started really early by three.
I was already going around and drinking the skug.
.9995Left in those containers. 69 00:03:55,884.9995 --> 00:03:58,345 Is that what it's called? Is that like officially skug? That's what I'm calling it.
That's what I'm calling it.
That's so gross.
.001The bottom of the coke bottle that would be left in. 73 00:04:03,204.999 --> 00:04:04,255 Anything called skug.
No.
Well, it's three.
So, again, back to the dumbest thing.
(04:08):
Um.
And we would keep it out.
I can remember we'd keep them out in the garage or in the basement, and it was just nasty but again I just went around I would drink these and so my brother my oldest brother who's actually tried to kill me a couple times I'm sure he'll argue that but this was his first time.
Whoa, okay No, we can't get into that He knows who he is he knows who he is Whoa, so he thought he would be Um, yeah, industrious and make, I don't know why, because we didn't have rats in our house.
(04:46):
Um, but he made rat poison and he made it in a coke bottle and that mixture contained Drano, Clorox bleach and some other stuff, but those two were the sounds like poison bad enough.
Um, and so I, uh, went down and again, drank, you know, I'm sure it was blue and that's where the dumb part comes in as I drink.
.9Wait, you were three! Right, right, right, right.
(05:09):
So again, but three year olds are pretty dumb, right? So anyways, dumbest thing.
.825I hope no three year olds are listening. 86 00:05:14,353.825 --> 00:05:15,400 They're going to be so sad.
Do you think three year olds are part of this? I apologize.
Seriously, to any three year old, that's paying attention. 89 00:05:22,35.1 --> 00:05:25,185 Um, so, I went, I drank it.
Again, I have no recollection of this.
Drank it.
Luckily, my mom was home, and she was an ER nurse, I threw up on the floor, she saw the blue, and immediately got me, uh, in a car, and that's, that, yeah, and I, luckily, apparently, the Drano had dropped to the bottom because Drano's really heavy, and so really what I drank was bleach.
(05:47):
So there wasn't any, uh, I don't think I got the Drano, if I'd gotten the Drano, I would have died.
So, um, yeah, it's so scary.
.999My only recollection is I do remember like in a dreamlike state of a tube going down my throat, but that's it.
So, yeah, I'm miracle I'm here.
Yeah, seriously, that is so scary.
And it's so great that your mom is in ER nurse so that she knew.
(06:10):
The minute that she saw you throw up the blue, it's like, so that's my story.
Not so funny, but it's got some funny elements.
I mean, I'm just glad you made it.
That's real sad, babe.
So what's your dumbest thing, Jen? Well, again, yeah, a lot of my dumbest stories are not suitable for the three year olds listening.
(06:31):
.999We got to think about our audience, um, but the one I think that like really stands out to me.
is when I was in my early 20s and I had, um, a white.
Dodge.
Wasn't it a Dodge? Remember that? I didn't have that car for very long.
(06:52):
.9That car did not last very long.
It was a Pontiac or something like that, yeah. 110 00:06:55,950.1 --> 00:06:56,619.999 No, no, no.
The Pontiac lasted forever. 112 00:06:58,60.1 --> 00:07:01,160 The mean green Pontiac 6000 LE.
Yeah, the other one might have been a Dodge.
.999That's my first car.
.999That car lasted forever. 116 00:07:05,370.099 --> 00:07:07,550 But the white car, that one didn't last long.
But I was at my mom's house.
What age were you in this? I was in my early twenties.
(07:14):
And, you know, the time in life when you know everything and your mom knows nothing.
I was securely planted in that age where I was the smartest person in my house.
.999No question.
.999And so my mom came out to, to talk to me when I was getting ready to go hang out with somebody. 123 00:07:33,325.099 --> 00:07:39,255 I don't know, probably you and, and I was driving away and she's like, Jennifer.
(07:39):
Stop! Your car's on fire! Jennifer! And I could like see the smoke and I was just so annoyed because I had to get to where I was going and I mean I'm sure I could drive with my car. 125 00:07:55,424.999 --> 00:08:06,464.999 Was it really on fire? I mean it felt like she was probably being a little dramatic like sure there was some smoke but it felt at that time like with me and all of my knowing and her and all of her drama.
(08:06):
That there was no way my car was actually on fire.
.99565217Did you ever stop and check? Yeah! Well then, because she's like, Please, please, stop! There are flames! Your car is on fire! So I was like, Oh! Fine, mom. 128 00:08:19,42.99565217 --> 00:08:28,209.94422222 And the driver stopped me at the car and then like slammed the door on me like, AHH! My car's on fire! Hahaha. 129 00:08:28,209.94422222 --> 00:08:29,580 Oh my gosh.
(08:29):
Yeah, so, And then what did you do? Did you run? I mean, yeah, because the car was on fire, but then it was fine.
Like the car was fine.
It didn't like blow up or explode.
It was just a little, it was just a little fire.
But, but I don't, I think that was the last time I ever drove that car.
.999Like it was, I'm pretty sure. 136 00:08:49,419.999 --> 00:08:51,599.999 And then you went to the GeoStorm. 137 00:08:52,99.999 --> 00:08:53,420 Then I went to the GeoStorm.
(08:53):
Yeah.
I think that was the end of the Dodge, but the lesson that I should have learned that still took me a long time to learn.
Just listen to your mom.
Like, I was so sure that I knew everything and she knew nothing, but looking back, she's the one that knew so much.
I'm the one that didn't know anything.
(09:13):
Right. 144 00:09:13,625.1 --> 00:09:15,404.999 She was warning you.
And also, if anybody is ever like, please stop, your car is on fire, you should probably stop the car.
Yeah.
So, dumb.
That is incredibly dumb.
Well, I guess my learning is, don't drink blue liquid from the bottom.
Uh, a clear Coke bottle.
(09:33):
Yeah, for sure.
Don't do that. 153 00:09:35,600.1 --> 00:09:36,789.9 Okay.
All you three year olds out there.
And, uh, maybe just don't drink anything anybody refers to as skug. 156 00:09:42,280.1 --> 00:09:45,159.9 Okay.
We'll follow those two rules. 158 00:09:47,179.999 --> 00:09:49,429.999 Okay guys, so that was your lesson for today.
So, now that you all are aware of the dumbest things that we have, well, quote unquote dumbest.
(09:55):
.999There's way more, but we're just gonna leave it at that.
Um, we're going to hop in, Pat, now, completely go in a different direction with this podcast into grace, parenting, and child rearing, marriage, wait, parenting and child rearing.
Grace and marriage. 163 00:10:12,974.999 --> 00:10:13,204.999 Parenting.
So, I have a question for you, Patrick. 165 00:10:16,815.001 --> 00:10:22,985 How do you think grace has played a role in our marriage? Hmm.
(10:23):
Yeah.
We kind of talked about this, whoa, wait.
Back it up.
I think we already did that question.
Yeah, because I think that the question that we stopped on before, well, what has surprised you about this season we are in now? And how is it different from other seasons? Because I remember you talking about how, uh, the cost, like the expense.
(10:47):
Yeah.
Yeah. 173 00:10:47,585.001 --> 00:10:49,285.001 Was it, was a shock? Yes. 174 00:10:49,635.001 --> 00:10:54,465.001 So what would you like to say? I guess let's tell people that didn't listen last time. 175 00:10:54,635.001 --> 00:10:55,965.001 What season we're in. 176 00:10:57,440.001 --> 00:10:57,690.001 Okay. 177 00:10:57,730.001 --> 00:11:02,670.001 And what would you like to tell people about this season that we're in? Yeah. 178 00:11:02,700.001 --> 00:11:08,800 Oh, well, I mean, yeah, the season we're in is our kids are teenagers and growing. 179 00:11:09,250.001 --> 00:11:14,420.0015 so we've got our first in college and then, basically every two years we'll be putting another in college. 180 00:11:14,470.0015 --> 00:11:15,60.0005 We have four. 181 00:11:15,610.0005 --> 00:11:18,270.0015 So that is, you know, kind of that. 182 00:11:18,690.0015 --> 00:11:21,170.0015 Yeah, that is expensive. 183 00:11:21,600.0015 --> 00:11:23,600.0015 Um, mentally taxing. 184 00:11:24,80.0015 --> 00:11:27,130.0005 Um, we've, we certainly find ourselves getting plenty of sleep. 185 00:11:27,300.0015 --> 00:11:29,520.0015 Uh, we can go out on plenty of dates. 186 00:11:29,850.0015 --> 00:11:34,740.0025 Um, we have a lot of freedoms that we didn't have when when the kids were younger and when we were younger. 187 00:11:35,290.0015 --> 00:11:43,770.0025 Um, but it's, it's switched, right? Like the, the difficulty in rearing the children now has to do with navigating much more difficult. 188 00:11:44,300.0025 --> 00:11:47,950.0025 Waters that we don't know the answers as opposed to when they were young. 189 00:11:47,950.0025 --> 00:11:51,480.0025 It's like, it was a little bit more black and white and we kind of knew. 190 00:11:51,940.0025 --> 00:12:05,490.0025 You know the answers or I mean there's some that were tough, but now when a kid brings a an issue They're you know in college and dealing with something yeah, the waters are much more murky and Wow, that was loud. 191 00:12:05,960.0015 --> 00:12:06,870.0015 It must have been a good point. 192 00:12:06,880.0015 --> 00:12:22,345.0025 So listen to that one everybody But so and then and then the also the stage we're in is our parents are getting older my parents My dad's dead and my mom's got dementia and you know, my parents a bit older. 193 00:12:22,735.0025 --> 00:12:24,15.0025 And so we're dealing with that. 194 00:12:24,15.0025 --> 00:12:27,375.0025 And it's just that period where so much is happening. 195 00:12:27,875.0025 --> 00:12:28,575.0025 To us. 196 00:12:29,95.0025 --> 00:12:39,730.0025 And again, the financial strain, as I think I was mentioning before, with the kids being out and having driver's license, the things I didn't think about was You know, they're just out and they're, they're wanting to spend more money. 197 00:12:40,60.0025 --> 00:12:41,120.0025 You can't control it. 198 00:12:41,130.0025 --> 00:12:43,113.3025 You're divvying it out. 199 00:12:43,113.3025 --> 00:12:45,530.0025 They don't have unlimited access to the funds. 200 00:12:46,430.0015 --> 00:12:46,650.0015 Yes. 201 00:12:46,650.0025 --> 00:12:51,730.0015 But your, your control is less when they're out there in another city and they need money. 202 00:12:52,710.0025 --> 00:12:53,650.0025 You're going to give them some money. 203 00:12:53,660.0025 --> 00:12:57,910.0025 So anyway, so I, I, I, that's again, going into the surprise. 204 00:12:57,940.0025 --> 00:13:04,750.0025 That was the surprise was I just didn't realize how expensive it would get once the kids were kind of doing their own things. 205 00:13:04,900.0015 --> 00:13:14,430.0025 I really hadn't given that thought, but yeah, well, and they ask for a lot, like when they're younger, it was more like you're at target and maybe they see something and it's like, no. 206 00:13:14,610.0025 --> 00:13:15,970.0025 And they handled that better. 207 00:13:15,970.0025 --> 00:13:21,430.0025 But now it's like these things that are more complicated because it's like, Hey, all of my friends are going out. 208 00:13:22,365.0025 --> 00:13:30,965.0025 And you want them to hang out with their friends, right? So it's like, well, you want them to be able to go get ice cream and it's just, I don't know. 209 00:13:31,5.0025 --> 00:13:35,825.0025 It's more, it's more complicated than it's harder to say no to. 210 00:13:35,925.0025 --> 00:13:49,325.0025 Or they want social media, which you know, is a really big one, right? And we've held off in some ways and you know, what's the right answer because you know, you want them to be part of all the social and communication methods that are going on. 211 00:13:49,950.0025 --> 00:13:58,220.0025 with everybody today, but you don't want to, you know, just let them loose in this kind of, uh, in a world of another important point. 212 00:13:58,250.0015 --> 00:14:07,140.0015 Obviously, I don't know if we can turn that beeping off, but everybody's just going to enjoy that's what's going to go really loud beeping throughout. 213 00:14:08,600.0015 --> 00:14:13,600.0025 Um, so yeah, I mean, did I answer the question? Yeah, you absolutely did. 214 00:14:13,610.0025 --> 00:14:21,730.0025 Well, and it just makes me think to that she said about the uniqueness of This season, maybe the surprises of this season. 215 00:14:21,750.0025 --> 00:14:33,580.0025 It's just so much more of a strain and a squeeze than I think we were anticipating from so many different areas and the things that are being dealt with. 216 00:14:33,590.0015 --> 00:14:37,90.0015 They just feel more intense than they did. 217 00:14:37,725.0025 --> 00:15:06,50.0025 Like it was very exhausting physically when they were younger, but now there's just this kind of mental Exhaustion and just so much more questioning, right? Well, and even like thinking about the finances like you want them to go out and get jobs and learn how to save money and Be financially independent and responsible But then here's also this element of like they're so busy and they're doing so many things You know, have their freedom while they have it. 218 00:15:06,80.0025 --> 00:15:13,50.0025 So you don't want them to come home every day from a whole day of school and theater or whatever, and then head off to work and then work all weekend. 219 00:15:13,50.0025 --> 00:15:16,840.0025 Like they have to have their friends and their, their free time too. 220 00:15:16,940.0025 --> 00:15:19,280.0015 So it's just, yeah, it's just a lot. 221 00:15:19,400.0025 --> 00:15:21,60.0025 So I appreciate what you said. 222 00:15:21,870.0025 --> 00:15:23,300.0015 I think we're doing a good job though. 223 00:15:23,550.0025 --> 00:15:24,740.0025 We're figuring it out. 224 00:15:24,910.0025 --> 00:15:26,79.9025 Well, and that's the thing. 225 00:15:26,80.0025 --> 00:15:27,70.0025 We still have a lot of fun together. 226 00:15:27,615.0025 --> 00:15:27,845.0025 Yeah. 227 00:15:27,895.0025 --> 00:15:38,955.0025 Well, and that's what I mentioned at first was that, I mean, for us, I feel like, you know, one, we can get sleep whenever we need it, which is pretty awesome. 228 00:15:38,955.0025 --> 00:15:43,745.0025 Not that our lives aren't super busy, but we don't have anybody crying and waking us up in the middle of the night. 229 00:15:43,945.0015 --> 00:15:48,465.0025 We don't have anybody waking up at, you know, five 30 or six in the morning crying. 230 00:15:48,885.0025 --> 00:15:56,555.0025 Although we do have a cat that is getting up at five in the morning and tapping us and trying to wake us up. 231 00:15:57,60.0025 --> 00:16:04,760.0025 So we do have that, but, uh, she can be, she can be, um, diverted a little more easily than the kids. 232 00:16:04,830.0025 --> 00:16:09,630.0025 Um, so yeah, so I, I feel like from our standpoint physically, it's great. 233 00:16:09,640.0025 --> 00:16:10,700.0025 I was thinking about it today. 234 00:16:10,750.0025 --> 00:16:13,170.0015 I was out, you know, I can take a run. 235 00:16:13,200.0025 --> 00:16:15,820.0015 I can go on a run and not worry about where. 236 00:16:16,105.0025 --> 00:16:32,55.0035 The kids are anything like that because everybody's kind of self sufficient and there was a time when we had younger kids that's just not happened and you're just too busy or exhausted and You're in a period where I mean if you can get workouts in when your kids are young or do anything for yourself That's a big win. 237 00:16:32,495.0025 --> 00:16:33,155.0025 It sure is. 238 00:16:33,185.0025 --> 00:16:52,70.0015 So yeah, but now I feel like those things are a plenty Um, but then the mental part of it is where, yeah, it's just really taxing trying to figure out how to support your kids when they're at college, when they're dealing with, friends, boyfriends, all that good stuff, all the things that we don't, there's no definitive answer to a lot of these questions. 239 00:16:52,70.0015 --> 00:16:56,510.0025 And so it's just, yeah, a lot of prayer and discussion amongst us. 240 00:16:56,740.0025 --> 00:16:57,130.0025 Yeah. 241 00:16:57,180.0025 --> 00:17:02,790.0025 And I think having good friends too, that we can talk to when stuff does kind of feel real. 242 00:17:03,385.0025 --> 00:17:12,970.0025 A little wonky, just knowing that we'll trust them and pray with them and they'll pray for us and offer us just like their thoughts too. 243 00:17:12,970.0025 --> 00:17:18,695.0025 I think sharing, and being open about what you can with your friends, about your kids. 244 00:17:18,715.0015 --> 00:17:24,395.001 That's not going to like compromise, any privacy with your children, I think is really helpful. 245 00:17:24,405.001 --> 00:17:28,105.001 Because one, we typically find out, oh, we're not the only ones dealing with this. 246 00:17:28,105.101 --> 00:17:33,175.002 Um, you get a perspective that, you know, You know, maybe it fits what you were already thinking. 247 00:17:33,185.002 --> 00:17:33,845.002 Maybe it doesn't. 248 00:17:33,845.002 --> 00:17:38,965.002 Either way, you're getting a more well rounded view on kind of what to do. 249 00:17:39,485.002 --> 00:17:49,709.903 and then you have support from those folks, right? So then when your friends kind of know what's going on with their kids, they can ask, and it just, it feels, I generally think it feels much better. 250 00:17:50,150.003 --> 00:17:53,540.003 To be in this with other people than to just feel like you're alone dealing with these. 251 00:17:53,670.003 --> 00:18:17,535.003 Yeah, I agree It's difficult issues with the kids because as we've talked a lot and we might have mentioned on the first part, We're all kind of winging this Right, right that your parents didn't have some set of rules and manuals that they were just rolling by that they were that they were winging it to and so We're all winging it. 252 00:18:17,535.003 --> 00:18:23,275.003 And so I feel like when you admit that and when you're with your friends, at least you can come up with a better solution. 253 00:18:23,645.003 --> 00:18:24,45.003 Yeah. 254 00:18:24,535.003 --> 00:18:24,955.003 Yeah. 255 00:18:25,5.003 --> 00:18:25,595.003 That's great. 256 00:18:25,605.002 --> 00:18:26,105.003 And grace. 257 00:18:26,125.003 --> 00:18:29,465.003 It's all about the grace, right? Cause we're not going to get it right all the time. 258 00:18:29,475.002 --> 00:18:33,355.003 We've had to apologize to our children so many times. 259 00:18:33,375.002 --> 00:18:37,635.003 We've had to apologize to each other so many times. 260 00:18:37,645.003 --> 00:18:44,775.003 I mean, I think part of it is just also like not being so prideful as a parent or as a spouse. 261 00:18:45,635.003 --> 00:18:49,525.003 That you can't humble yourself and say, man, you didn't deserve that. 262 00:18:49,945.003 --> 00:19:10,545.003 I shouldn't have acted that way and Just being willing to always kind of clean up your side of the street Yeah, I think that says a lot to your key to the kids to when we're like, hey, I'm sorry Well, I shouldn't have acted that way I was tired or not I mean not that that excuses it but it just lets them know like I'm human too and I I shouldn't have acted that way. 263 00:19:10,605.003 --> 00:19:19,703.5601429 Right, and, like, for me, that's, I mean, maybe it's not a great thing that I've been apologizing all of their lives, but, I mean, I think it is a great thing. 264 00:19:19,703.5601429 --> 00:19:26,865.0025 Well, but it also is, I've been, you know, acting in manners that aren't necessarily appropriate all the time, so then I have to go apologize. 265 00:19:26,865.0025 --> 00:19:27,695.003 Right, no, you're right, you're right. 266 00:19:27,855.003 --> 00:19:39,515.003 So, but with our kids, I definitely, like, I have a bit of anxiety and a little bit of a temper, and so, I can be a yeller, not like screaming and not like degrading yelling, but just yelling. 267 00:19:40,125.003 --> 00:19:46,155.003 And, when I get upset and then I can remember since the kids were like always just apologize and be like, all right, I made a mistake. 268 00:19:46,885.003 --> 00:19:48,845.002 And I do think, I do agree. 269 00:19:48,875.003 --> 00:19:50,935.003 I think that they see that as okay, okay. 270 00:19:50,935.003 --> 00:19:56,55.003 You know, as a vulnerability to wait, dad makes mistakes. 271 00:19:56,95.003 --> 00:19:57,435.003 Yeah, I think that's important. 272 00:19:57,435.003 --> 00:19:59,365.003 I didn't feel that way. 273 00:19:59,385.003 --> 00:20:02,635.003 And I want our kids to know that we are not. 274 00:20:03,490.003 --> 00:20:06,910.003 Perfect and infallible and that we do make mistakes and we make mistakes. 275 00:20:07,200.003 --> 00:20:08,320.003 We apologize for them. 276 00:20:08,760.003 --> 00:20:11,180.003 We try to correct them, and try to do better next time. 277 00:20:11,460.003 --> 00:20:17,890.003 Well, and it's funny that you mentioned that about you yelling cause I can't even think of the last time I've heard you raise your voice. 278 00:20:17,940.003 --> 00:20:18,400.003 Yeah. 279 00:20:18,570.003 --> 00:20:22,170.003 Like in all sincerity, like I would have to seriously. 280 00:20:23,210.003 --> 00:20:23,500.003 Yeah. 281 00:20:23,880.003 --> 00:20:28,724.903 I mean, again, it was a lot when they were younger and you're just trying to, when you're trying to control a group and it was just like. 282 00:20:29,265.003 --> 00:20:29,515.003 Yeah. 283 00:20:29,615.003 --> 00:20:30,55.003 Yeah. 284 00:20:30,175.003 --> 00:20:32,805.003 So, but, oh, that's good stuff. 285 00:20:32,815.003 --> 00:20:45,962.553 Or, or when Sophia, when it would, we would spend, sorry Sophia, when I would spend 30, 45 minutes, 30, 45 minutes, yes, getting her to bed, um, when she was little. 286 00:20:45,962.553 --> 00:20:47,486.8155 Oh, she was so hard to get to bed. 287 00:20:47,486.8155 --> 00:20:49,835.003 And she had, she had all these routines. 288 00:20:49,905.003 --> 00:20:50,165.003 Oh my gosh. 289 00:20:50,195.003 --> 00:20:53,980.003 And we would do all the routines And, we had a baby at the time too. 290 00:20:53,980.003 --> 00:20:58,190.003 And so, you know, we were trying to get lots of babies, right? And we're trying to get it all done. 291 00:20:58,740.003 --> 00:21:07,330.0025 And, and also again, where I, my issue came in, being super selfish at that time of night, I was just like, okay, just got to get to, and then I can have some free time anyways. 292 00:21:07,800.0025 --> 00:21:15,680.0025 Inevitably, I'd put her to bed, that whole long routine, and then I'd walk out of the doorway, and then I'd stop, and I'd look around, and she was right there behind me. 293 00:21:16,430.0025 --> 00:21:25,120.0015 And, like, now saying that, it's a super cute vision, but when I was in that, it was like, there's a monster that, just followed me. 294 00:21:25,120.0015 --> 00:21:33,920.0025 So, that was a lot of them, and I'd yell at her to get back to bed, and then I'd have to go in immediately and So, oh my gosh, I remember that so vividly. 295 00:21:33,970.0025 --> 00:21:35,840.0025 Yeah, she was, she did not like going to bed. 296 00:21:35,840.0025 --> 00:21:38,160.0025 Her cute little, you know, in her little nightgowns. 297 00:21:38,200.0025 --> 00:21:39,700.0025 She didn't want to miss anything. 298 00:21:40,160.0025 --> 00:21:52,210.0025 She always reminded me of, um, oh my gosh, was it Growing, was it Growing Pains? Do you remember the episode where there was the little kid and she never wanted to go to bed because she felt like she was always missing something. 299 00:21:52,210.0025 --> 00:21:55,680.0025 So they set up this whole elaborate scene where they got out all of her toys. 300 00:21:55,680.0025 --> 00:21:55,940.0025 No. 301 00:21:56,330.0025 --> 00:22:04,550.0025 I never saw that so when she came down the stairs, they were all playing with her toys and she was like, I knew this is what you didn't know. 302 00:22:04,560.0025 --> 00:22:05,180.0025 Oh, that's pretty funny. 303 00:22:05,180.1025 --> 00:22:05,809.9025 That's pretty funny. 304 00:22:05,810.0025 --> 00:22:12,440.0015 Was, uh, that in the season that Leonardo DiCaprio was in it or no? Uh, I could only hope so. 305 00:22:12,450.0025 --> 00:22:16,0.0025 Was he using growing pains wasn't he? Yes! He was! So maybe that's why you remember that episode. 306 00:22:16,0.1025 --> 00:22:16,710.0025 That's probably why. 307 00:22:16,710.1025 --> 00:22:23,205.0025 He probably was! I guarantee you if we go find that episode, he was probably It's like a big part of that. 308 00:22:23,215.0025 --> 00:22:24,65.0025 I'm going to go back and find it. 309 00:22:24,115.0025 --> 00:22:29,355.0025 Because I think he was added as a, you know, as a neighbor kid, right? Like to try to bring back ratings. 310 00:22:29,435.0025 --> 00:22:31,55.0025 Yeah, they're the adorable neighbor, which is why I like it. 311 00:22:31,135.0015 --> 00:22:31,525.0025 Yeah, I loved it. 312 00:22:31,525.0025 --> 00:22:33,15.0025 Okay, we've super digressed. 313 00:22:33,15.0025 --> 00:22:33,385.0025 Sorry. 314 00:22:33,525.0025 --> 00:22:34,105.0025 That's okay. 315 00:22:34,355.0025 --> 00:22:36,457.2131667 I feel like anybody People want to know about me growing pains. 316 00:22:36,457.2131667 --> 00:22:39,835.0025 Anybody that's listening to this is us, so this is what you're going to get. 317 00:22:41,255.0025 --> 00:22:42,625.0025 Okay, back on track. 318 00:22:42,675.0025 --> 00:22:42,755.0025 Yes. 319 00:22:42,845.0025 --> 00:22:43,425.0025 Patrick. 320 00:22:44,15.0025 --> 00:22:51,600.0025 What are some habits or things we do? That we have incorporated into our marriage that make it stronger. 321 00:22:51,740.0025 --> 00:22:56,520.0025 So what do you think that we do that makes our marriage stronger? That's, uh, well, I'll start. 322 00:22:56,530.0025 --> 00:22:58,40.0025 So we do. 323 00:22:58,795.0025 --> 00:23:01,35.0025 I mean, it's been tough at times to go on dates. 324 00:23:01,35.0025 --> 00:23:06,845.0025 And so I'm not saying like we are super regimented and regular about dates, but we focus on them. 325 00:23:06,855.0025 --> 00:23:09,305.0025 So when we do have time, we go on dates. 326 00:23:09,315.0025 --> 00:23:13,95.0015 And inevitably when we go on a date, we, uh, rate our. 327 00:23:13,550.0025 --> 00:23:22,478.4814474 relationship and we've been doing that for a long time and I think we're both pretty honest about it and we know when things are kind of rough and when things are going pretty well. 328 00:23:22,478.4814474 --> 00:23:23,166.8603947 Skill 1 to 10. 329 00:23:23,166.8603947 --> 00:23:23,511.0498684 That's it. 330 00:23:23,511.0498684 --> 00:23:24,199.4288158 It's 1 to 10. 331 00:23:24,199.4288158 --> 00:23:25,370.0025 Where do you put us? Right. 332 00:23:25,420.0025 --> 00:23:26,380.0025 And then we have to say why. 333 00:23:26,550.0025 --> 00:23:26,810.0025 Right. 334 00:23:26,830.0015 --> 00:23:30,340.0015 And then, and then it just starts that discussion and opens things up. 335 00:23:30,720.0025 --> 00:23:35,595.0025 Um, so I think I mean, to me, that's one thing that, that jumps out. 336 00:23:36,85.0025 --> 00:23:36,425.0025 Yeah. 337 00:23:36,525.0025 --> 00:23:43,135.0025 And the last like three dates, what number have we been, babe? I think we've been like nine, nine, both of us. 338 00:23:43,325.0025 --> 00:23:43,435.0025 Boom. 339 00:23:43,955.0025 --> 00:23:44,185.0025 Yeah. 340 00:23:44,265.0025 --> 00:23:44,755.0025 Yeah. 341 00:23:45,115.0025 --> 00:23:47,845.0015 So, so yeah. 342 00:23:47,915.0015 --> 00:23:52,25.0015 Um, I, I feel like that, again, there was, that's not, that doesn't always happen. 343 00:23:52,105.0015 --> 00:23:53,264.0825 I'm just saying, there's a lot of stuff. 344 00:23:53,264.0825 --> 00:23:54,8.9825 We're in a good spot. 345 00:23:54,8.9825 --> 00:23:57,255.0025 There's a lot of things we had that we didn't plan. 346 00:23:57,255.0025 --> 00:23:58,185.0025 They're just naturally. 347 00:23:58,185.0025 --> 00:24:00,855.0025 I mean, I think we both, you know, tend to go to humor. 348 00:24:01,205.0025 --> 00:24:17,505.0005 Um, in situations because we're so funny, I think we both, appreciate a lot of the same thing, even though we're very different and we're almost opposite in some of the ways we handle things and the way we think about some things, but, we enjoy a lot of the same stuff. 349 00:24:17,505.0005 --> 00:24:21,225.0005 And so but again, those are all just natural things of our marriage that has made it easy because. 350 00:24:22,180.0005 --> 00:24:25,200.0005 We can always kind of come back to those things that we enjoy doing. 351 00:24:25,300.0005 --> 00:24:37,879.9995 Going on walks regularly is something that over the last few years, uh, really since the pandemic has been a nice thing because what I find is we, I was just thinking about this when we were on a walk yesterday. 352 00:24:38,229.9995 --> 00:24:46,895.0005 Um, Um, we could go and be in the house, we could go to dinner, we could be with, and we could say very little to each other, right? Because we're talking about other things. 353 00:24:46,895.0005 --> 00:24:47,375.0005 We're really not. 354 00:24:47,505.0005 --> 00:24:48,244.9995 Or like business. 355 00:24:48,245.0995 --> 00:24:48,914.9005 It's more business. 356 00:24:48,915.0005 --> 00:24:49,325.0005 Right, right. 357 00:24:49,325.0005 --> 00:24:50,524.9995 We're just taking care of stuff. 358 00:24:50,835.0005 --> 00:24:56,34.9995 But when we go on a walk, there's just something about that it's a, you know, kind of side by side. 359 00:24:56,35.0005 --> 00:24:59,35.0005 You're not staring at each other, but you just kind of, it's conversational. 360 00:24:59,335.0005 --> 00:25:06,195.0005 And so I find that we do a lot of our, kind of working through things and figuring things out, when we're able to go on walks together. 361 00:25:06,685.0005 --> 00:25:14,205.0005 I, I would agree with that wholeheartedly because like during the day we're both working for the most part, so we don't want to bother each other. 362 00:25:14,884.9995 --> 00:25:23,15.0005 And then it's easy then when the kids are home to kind of focus on the business of what has to be done, what's happening tonight. 363 00:25:23,65.0005 --> 00:25:24,735.0005 And then at night we have family. 364 00:25:24,775.0005 --> 00:25:32,835.0005 I would say one of the things too is our, I think, well, and this is like not only our marriage, but also our family as a whole, we've made. 365 00:25:33,195.0005 --> 00:25:38,795.0005 dinner time a priority for always like that has always been a priority for us. 366 00:25:39,735.0005 --> 00:25:42,545.0005 we sit down at the table and we have dinner together. 367 00:25:42,575.0005 --> 00:25:46,445.0005 We usually do highs and lows or prayer requests and praises. 368 00:25:47,344.9995 --> 00:25:53,545.0005 And I felt like we find out more about each other's day and about the kid's days when we do that. 369 00:25:53,555.0005 --> 00:25:57,915.0005 And I feel like that's something that keeps us connected and such a busy. 370 00:25:58,610.0005 --> 00:25:59,60.0005 Season. 371 00:25:59,100.0005 --> 00:25:59,580.0005 Totally. 372 00:25:59,600.0005 --> 00:25:59,920.0005 Yeah. 373 00:25:59,950.0005 --> 00:26:00,580.0005 I would. 374 00:26:00,750.0005 --> 00:26:00,880.0005 Yeah. 375 00:26:00,910.0005 --> 00:26:02,550.0005 That is one that we planned. 376 00:26:02,550.0005 --> 00:26:05,450.0005 I remember before we were ever married, talking about that. 377 00:26:05,450.0005 --> 00:26:16,399.9995 And certainly when we got married, started getting ready to have kids, we talked about our approach to dinner and that we were going to see that as kind of the central kind of gathering point of our days. 378 00:26:16,459.9995 --> 00:26:17,330.0005 And we've stuck to it. 379 00:26:17,330.0005 --> 00:26:18,670.0005 And the funny thing is, so we have. 380 00:26:19,250.0005 --> 00:26:30,390.0005 We have, you know, kind of a formal dining room where we, that's where we have like dinner if we're going to, and then we have our kitchen island where we are right now, which is more of the informal, hey, we're going to watch TV dinner. 381 00:26:30,880.0005 --> 00:26:39,680.0005 But the funny thing is, is the kids, they all want to do the informal because it's like, oh, we're going to watch TV and it's going to be like late, you know, I think it's just that natural, like it's not as formal. 382 00:26:40,270.0005 --> 00:26:43,340.0005 But then inevitably we all sit down and then we talk. 383 00:26:43,340.1005 --> 00:26:44,987.9405 It's just the same. 384 00:26:44,987.9405 --> 00:26:47,599.9005 It's the same, but we're just not all staring at each other. 385 00:26:47,600.0005 --> 00:26:49,60.0005 We're just in a different format. 386 00:26:49,450.0005 --> 00:26:53,280.0005 Maybe it's kind of like walking, you know, because you're not staring at each other, crossing each other. 387 00:26:53,280.0005 --> 00:26:57,399.9995 You're just kind of side by side and it's like that driving in a car, walking or whatever. 388 00:26:57,775.0005 --> 00:27:00,315.0005 It's just you feel a little more open to kind of talk about things. 389 00:27:00,315.0005 --> 00:27:00,765.0005 Maybe. 390 00:27:00,765.0005 --> 00:27:01,35.0005 I don't know. 391 00:27:01,35.0005 --> 00:27:18,234.9995 I'm just thinking about that literally right now Yeah, but it is funny that when we sit here and have the TV on we all just talk over it So we should probably just stick to the dining room But yeah, I agree again in my family growing up. 392 00:27:18,494.9995 --> 00:27:27,635.0005 That was something that was really big everything that got discussed happened at the dinner table So many funny memories and things like that that you just wouldn't have. 393 00:27:27,635.0005 --> 00:27:31,285.0005 At least I feel like I wouldn't have if it wasn't around the dinner table. 394 00:27:31,285.0005 --> 00:27:33,324.9995 And so, yeah, that's a great one. 395 00:27:33,584.9995 --> 00:27:33,974.9995 Yeah. 396 00:27:34,5.0005 --> 00:27:34,515.0005 For our whole family. 397 00:27:34,515.0005 --> 00:27:36,405.0005 And that's for our whole family, too. 398 00:27:36,655.0005 --> 00:27:38,725.0005 But I think it also keeps us connected. 399 00:27:39,234.9995 --> 00:27:42,755.0005 and I would say, too, with our marriage, we have our faith. 400 00:27:42,785.0005 --> 00:27:43,725.0005 We have our shared faith. 401 00:27:43,905.0005 --> 00:27:44,535.0005 Yes, absolutely. 402 00:27:44,745.0005 --> 00:27:51,355.0005 And we have, uh, very similar, just, I think, like we're different, like you said. 403 00:27:51,435.0005 --> 00:27:53,425.0005 Like I would say you're the yin to my yang. 404 00:27:54,145.0005 --> 00:28:01,264.9995 We have a lot of differences, but our core, like, beliefs are the same. 405 00:28:01,265.0995 --> 00:28:09,379.9005 Our core longings and our faith and just the way we kind of view things. 406 00:28:09,380.0005 --> 00:28:13,740.0005 I think our world view, I would say, yeah, our belief system. 407 00:28:14,710.0005 --> 00:28:15,460.0005 Um, yeah. 408 00:28:15,460.0005 --> 00:28:17,800.0005 And then our, you know, ultimate, our goals. 409 00:28:17,820.0005 --> 00:28:18,120.0005 Yeah. 410 00:28:18,150.0005 --> 00:28:31,260.0005 I think we're all aligned that anchor like in this, I think like of just all of the different things, even the stuff that we're going through now, we just continue to go back to our anchor and our faith. 411 00:28:31,380.0005 --> 00:28:33,860.0005 And it's kind of like no matter what hit. 412 00:28:34,15.0005 --> 00:28:37,895.0005 It's, we know ultimately we're going to be okay. 413 00:28:39,475.0005 --> 00:28:43,5.0005 Well, in a lot of that, I think about our specific to our marriage. 414 00:28:43,55.0005 --> 00:28:44,905.0005 we dated for almost eight years. 415 00:28:44,905.0005 --> 00:28:45,215.0005 Yeah. 416 00:28:45,504.9995 --> 00:28:45,835.0005 Long time. 417 00:28:46,65.0005 --> 00:28:56,44.9985 And that was purposeful because we both came from divorced families and we both had made commitments individually, before we ever met each other that we weren't going to get married and get divorced. 418 00:28:56,54.9985 --> 00:29:01,774.9995 And again, that's not saying anything against it, but we were both clearly dead set because of our own experiences with it. 419 00:29:01,774.9995 --> 00:29:03,34.9995 And so when we got together. 420 00:29:03,384.9995 --> 00:29:06,204.9995 I think both of us, we worked through so much stuff. 421 00:29:06,204.9995 --> 00:29:08,784.9995 And, you know, pre marriage, pre marriage. 422 00:29:08,784.9995 --> 00:29:13,854.9995 There are so many times that we probably were like, Oh, is this, and then, but working through all that. 423 00:29:13,854.9995 --> 00:29:23,354.9985 And then again, what really solidified it was, coming to Christ and having faith that then we both, I think, felt comfortable like, okay, yeah, this, because all those other things were in place. 424 00:29:23,524.9995 --> 00:29:24,894.9995 We had we had fun together. 425 00:29:24,894.9995 --> 00:29:31,784.9995 We saw the world the same, but we didn't have that binding faith, um, to kind of keep us, on the straight track. 426 00:29:32,144.9995 --> 00:29:32,424.9995 Right. 427 00:29:32,454.9995 --> 00:29:39,944.9995 And I know that's to say, like, we have a lot of loved ones that their marriage has ended and no shame or judgment or anything at all. 428 00:29:40,574.9995 --> 00:29:41,734.9995 Um, at all. 429 00:29:41,744.9995 --> 00:29:45,874.9995 Personal, personal experience and personal commitment. 430 00:29:46,114.9995 --> 00:29:47,294.9995 And again, uh, yeah, no. 431 00:29:47,854.9995 --> 00:29:48,454.9995 Judgment. 432 00:29:48,454.9995 --> 00:29:55,794.9995 Again, it was just something as a kid that was certainly, traumatizing to me and to you, enough that we were like, Hmm, no. 433 00:29:56,94.9995 --> 00:29:57,84.9995 Yeah, yeah. 434 00:29:57,84.9995 --> 00:29:59,544.9995 I actually for a long time was like, I'm never getting married. 435 00:29:59,634.9995 --> 00:30:00,474.9995 It doesn't work. 436 00:30:00,534.9995 --> 00:30:02,964.9995 Like I remember I felt that way. 437 00:30:04,134.9995 --> 00:30:06,414.9995 I so, yeah. 438 00:30:06,419.9995 --> 00:30:06,469.9995 Yeah. 439 00:30:06,749.9995 --> 00:30:11,634.9995 I just, I know I got us off track there, but I feel like we worked through a lot of stuff. 440 00:30:12,474.9995 --> 00:30:31,234.9985 Early on, that also helps solidify what we have now, which I would say to if there's anybody young, I mean, not three, listening, that's not married or dating or, you know, in the dating scene or just single. 441 00:30:31,954.9985 --> 00:30:37,214.9985 I do think it's so important to just constantly be seeking your own healing. 442 00:30:38,104.9995 --> 00:30:40,444.9995 which is something I think we've both pursued. 443 00:30:40,814.9995 --> 00:30:59,974.9995 And, um, I think, you know, constantly seeking your own healing throughout your life and helps then when you come together with somebody because you're not relying on them to fill things that they were never supposed to intend, like Phil, that wasn't, they were never theirs. 444 00:31:00,514.9995 --> 00:31:00,664.9995 Right. 445 00:31:00,684.9995 --> 00:31:01,714.9995 They don't complete you. 446 00:31:02,194.9995 --> 00:31:20,74.9995 Again, one of the greatest things that resonates with, I know we've talked about this because when we were going through marriage counseling, our pastor at the time, Jeff Kriusky, when we met with him, I believe the first time made, you know, a pretty profound statement, which was, marriage is not 50 50, um, it's a hundred to a hundred. 447 00:31:20,164.9995 --> 00:31:24,994.9995 And each, each partner just gives everything they can to the other. 448 00:31:25,424.9995 --> 00:31:31,964.9995 And let's everything fall where it might, basically, if you give it all most likely you're going to get it all back. 449 00:31:31,984.9995 --> 00:31:33,504.999 Your partner is going to want to do that too. 450 00:31:33,504.999 --> 00:31:37,419.9995 But if you both try to draw lines of Where is that 50? I'll give it a little bit more. 451 00:31:37,419.9995 --> 00:31:39,439.9995 I mean, that's where it all gets entangled. 452 00:31:40,649.9995 --> 00:31:41,779.9995 It's like a tit for tat. 453 00:31:41,929.9995 --> 00:31:44,9.9995 It's like, well, I did this much this week. 454 00:31:44,229.9985 --> 00:31:49,479.999 How much did you do? And, and giving 100 is going to look different in different seasons. 455 00:31:49,479.999 --> 00:31:50,909.9995 And that's the beauty of it. 456 00:31:50,939.9985 --> 00:31:53,599.9985 I, that's one of the ways I describe our marriage. 457 00:31:53,599.9985 --> 00:31:55,889.9995 It's this beautiful dance of give and take. 458 00:31:56,309.9995 --> 00:32:13,859.9985 And there might be a week where I'm more depleted because of work or the kids, or I'm sick, and, In that week, my hundred percent isn't going to look the same as it does in a week where I'm just full of energy and the calendar's not as full and just things aren't coming at me so much. 459 00:32:13,879.9975 --> 00:32:14,899.9985 And the same for you. 460 00:32:14,909.9985 --> 00:32:22,789.9985 Like if you're traveling or you have a big work project or, you know, maybe your mom's not doing well, you have to get to Fort Wayne. 461 00:32:22,789.9985 --> 00:32:29,719.9985 Like there are certain things that you're 100 percent it's going to look different, but it's not, you're, there's not a measuring stick. 462 00:32:29,719.9985 --> 00:32:30,919.9975 There's not a tallying. 463 00:32:30,929.9985 --> 00:32:31,869.9985 There's not a. 464 00:32:32,694.9985 --> 00:32:39,984.9985 Keeping record of what each person has done and trying to make sure that they're like measuring up. 465 00:32:40,944.9985 --> 00:32:43,544.9985 And it's great because I know that about you. 466 00:32:43,604.9975 --> 00:32:47,974.998 Like I know you give your everything to the family. 467 00:32:47,974.998 --> 00:32:48,684.9985 I'm telling you. 468 00:32:48,704.9975 --> 00:32:49,394.9985 This is the truth. 469 00:32:49,814.9975 --> 00:32:56,474.9985 Anybody that has been around Patrick with me and our children, they say it every time. 470 00:32:57,444.9985 --> 00:33:08,384.9985 He gives everything to our family and it's very, uh, apparent to people and it's, and it's, it's really, it's a gift because I don't think everybody is like that. 471 00:33:08,464.9985 --> 00:33:15,544.9985 Well, no, I definitely agree that it's a gift because it's not, if I was having to, like, Make myself do that. 472 00:33:15,554.9985 --> 00:33:16,924.9985 It would probably last like two days. 473 00:33:18,354.9985 --> 00:33:19,294.9985 It wouldn't stick around. 474 00:33:19,684.9985 --> 00:33:23,334.9985 Um, I will say a couple of things that come to mind is, yeah, I totally agree. 475 00:33:23,334.9985 --> 00:33:25,184.9985 Like the a hundred percent could look different. 476 00:33:25,624.9975 --> 00:33:27,134.9965 It also looks very different. 477 00:33:27,154.9975 --> 00:33:33,574.9975 Like if you notice as a couple, I mean, The way we give 100 percent to each other is very different than another couple is going to give 100%. 478 00:33:33,575.0975 --> 00:33:41,164.9975 Just because what I, what I do and the way we've formed and the things that we do for each other are unique to us. 479 00:33:41,214.9965 --> 00:33:42,574.9965 And, so that's another thing. 480 00:33:42,624.9975 --> 00:33:46,244.9985 I think sometimes people see that and they're like, oh, wait, they should do that or they should do that. 481 00:33:46,284.9985 --> 00:33:57,339.9985 No, it's just, I think if each person in your heart knows you're giving everything you can and taking care of the stuff and watching out and looking out for the feelings and trying to understand your, Your spouse that's where it's at. 482 00:33:57,429.9985 --> 00:34:17,779.9985 Yeah, and while I'm not being afraid to ask for what you need or talk about what's not Working like I feel like there's also a a constant dialogue that's happening Yeah, and then again giving lots of grace for when things don't go quite right because it's not like we have never had We've had these points. 483 00:34:17,779.9985 --> 00:34:21,559.9985 I probably say it's been a handful in the last 10 years. 484 00:34:21,639.9985 --> 00:34:25,854.9985 Yeah, we're Like things get so stressful that somehow we do start keeping it. 485 00:34:26,4.9985 --> 00:34:28,104.9985 It's like, wait, and then we usually have a conversation. 486 00:34:28,214.9985 --> 00:34:30,24.9985 I'm like, no, we're not going to keep. 487 00:34:30,314.9985 --> 00:34:43,604.9975 You know, track, let's just go, but I mean, it's not like we're immune to that, but I think we're really good at moving recognizing, recognizing that, wait, wait, wait, let's not start tracking who's doing what, let's just, you know, each give our own. 488 00:34:43,604.9985 --> 00:34:47,264.997 And it's been tough because our lives are changing to, back to the season of life. 489 00:34:47,264.997 --> 00:34:53,944.997 I mean, we're in a season of life where our kids are all, older and you were at home with them and your primary job was. 490 00:34:54,369.997 --> 00:35:07,969.997 raising them and taking care of the house and now that's shifting and so my 100 percent looks a bit different and it needs to and your 100 percent looks a bit different because you're no longer just giving to the kids or to me, you're giving to a career. 491 00:35:08,359.996 --> 00:35:15,199.996 Um, and so, that goes right to grace, which is, we've encountered points where it's like, you know, you get frustrated, I get frustrated. 492 00:35:15,549.996 --> 00:35:19,399.996 Um, and then we turn around, we just got to give each other grace because we've never been here before. 493 00:35:20,249.996 --> 00:35:34,569.996 Well, that's the biggest thing life is constantly changing and people need to be able to change we need to let the people we love change and We need to let our Circumstances change as they do and not hold tightly. 494 00:35:34,579.996 --> 00:36:01,894.996 I think that's a big thing, too it's just allowing for change and growth and Trying to figure out how to move with life as it's moving and not hold on to what this is how it's always been And this is how we do it Um, that's one of the big reasons at the beginning of the podcast that I talk about people's spiritual habits and practices, because just like you said, with a marriage and family, everybody's different and there are different ways that we connect. 495 00:36:02,384.996 --> 00:36:04,534.996 There are different ways that we meet with the Lord. 496 00:36:04,834.996 --> 00:36:13,84.996 There are different ways we connect in our marriage, given the season with our children, depending on the season, but you have to allow for that flow. 497 00:36:13,944.996 --> 00:36:20,514.996 It's always changing, right? I mean, you get into some nice zones where it's like, Oh, this is pretty stable and we're good. 498 00:36:20,534.996 --> 00:36:22,734.995 But it's changes around the corner. 499 00:36:23,434.996 --> 00:36:24,784.996 And so adaptability. 500 00:36:25,124.996 --> 00:36:26,664.996 And again, grace goes right with that. 501 00:36:26,664.996 --> 00:36:40,64.996 Because, because we, I think whenever something changes, I know for me, just whether it's my anxiety or whatever, like I can approach it with, you know, not necessarily the best attitude, but, um, I've certainly have learned to quickly Absolutely. 502 00:36:40,64.996 --> 00:36:40,74.896 Absolutely. 503 00:36:40,584.996 --> 00:36:47,334.996 Adjust that and figure out what this new situation is going to bring and how I'm going to, act differently. 504 00:36:48,64.995 --> 00:36:48,674.996 I love it. 505 00:36:49,524.995 --> 00:36:56,664.996 So the last question, which we kind of talked, well, maybe we didn't totally talk about this, but this is more digging into the kids. 506 00:36:57,464.996 --> 00:37:03,914.996 What are some of the ways that you think we offer our children grace? Hmm. 507 00:37:06,174.996 --> 00:37:09,154.996 I mean, well, we don't hold obviously. 508 00:37:09,154.996 --> 00:37:11,444.996 I mean, I think most parents do this. 509 00:37:11,444.996 --> 00:37:12,914.996 I mean, we don't certainly don't hold grudges. 510 00:37:12,914.996 --> 00:37:14,854.996 We don't like if they did something the night before. 511 00:37:14,854.996 --> 00:37:17,544.996 We're not continuing to talk about that. 512 00:37:17,544.996 --> 00:37:19,474.996 So I think that's why and you're really good at that. 513 00:37:19,474.996 --> 00:37:20,554.995 I certainly coming into the marriage. 514 00:37:21,59.996 --> 00:37:30,679.996 Was not so good about just leaving everything behind, but, um, you know, in terms of like pulling up old hairs or old issues into a current argument. 515 00:37:30,979.996 --> 00:37:34,979.996 And you've been really good about kind of helping me work through that. 516 00:37:35,339.996 --> 00:37:36,679.995 And so I think we do that with the kids. 517 00:37:36,679.996 --> 00:37:42,339.996 We don't bring up old stuff with them and burden them with things they did, three weeks ago or two months ago. 518 00:37:42,849.996 --> 00:37:48,439.995 So I think we give them grace by, just having a conversation in the moment and then moving on past that. 519 00:37:48,599.996 --> 00:37:49,799.996 to me, that's part of it. 520 00:37:50,9.996 --> 00:37:51,229.996 Yeah, I agree. 521 00:37:51,869.996 --> 00:38:07,749.995 Do you think, too, that, I'm just curious, because I don't know if we've ever talked about this, but do you look at them and, like, kind of remember what it was like to be that age? Do you think that helps? Yeah, it helps, but our lives are so different. 522 00:38:08,319.995 --> 00:38:08,739.995 Yeah. 523 00:38:09,19.995 --> 00:38:10,749.995 I mean, than our kids lives. 524 00:38:11,229.995 --> 00:38:15,809.996 Oh my gosh, they're so different! They're crazy different. 525 00:38:15,809.996 --> 00:38:22,139.996 The stuff that they deal with and the stuff that they have and, and just, and yeah, and, and, and you are right. 526 00:38:22,144.996 --> 00:38:27,569.996 The, the world around them and their world and just maybe that makes us give them more grace sometimes. 527 00:38:27,569.996 --> 00:38:28,534.996 'cause it's, yeah, no, definitely. 528 00:38:28,894.996 --> 00:38:30,334.996 I don't even, can't even begin to know. 529 00:38:31,204.996 --> 00:38:31,494.996 Yeah. 530 00:38:32,699.996 --> 00:38:33,449.996 No, absolutely. 531 00:38:33,449.996 --> 00:38:35,609.996 When it comes to, again, what they're dealing with. 532 00:38:35,969.996 --> 00:38:36,299.996 Yeah. 533 00:38:36,299.996 --> 00:38:42,479.996 Online or social media or at school, it's, it's a, yeah, a lot of it we don't recognize it. 534 00:38:42,509.996 --> 00:38:49,289.996 But I think continuing to forgive, try to understand what they're going through. 535 00:38:49,619.996 --> 00:39:07,789.995 Um, and again, they don't have the same experiences that we were having back again in the nineties when things were, I mean, I, you know, so my son, carefree time, wasn't it? So Patrick, he's in sixth grade and we were talking about things and I was just thinking about like how he lives his life mostly. 536 00:39:07,810.095 --> 00:39:13,889.995 I mean, he goes outside, but he's inside, he goes to a friend's house, they play inside, and I just think, but he's always somewhere. 537 00:39:14,449.995 --> 00:39:18,49.994 And I was, when I was in 6th grade, I was nowhere. 538 00:39:18,249.995 --> 00:39:22,479.995 I was riding my bike in parks, and I was never home, I was never really at a house. 539 00:39:22,479.995 --> 00:39:23,909.995 I was always just Drinking skug. 540 00:39:24,219.995 --> 00:39:24,729.996 No, no, no. 541 00:39:24,749.996 --> 00:39:26,354.995 I was not drinking any skug. 542 00:39:26,354.995 --> 00:39:27,849.995 In 6th grade. 543 00:39:28,959.995 --> 00:39:32,169.995 I learned, Jen, but um But I was never home. 544 00:39:32,449.995 --> 00:39:36,599.995 Um, I mean, you know, I would be out with my buddies and so it's just that dynamic. 545 00:39:36,599.995 --> 00:39:38,729.995 You were causing trouble in New Haven, Indiana. 546 00:39:38,779.995 --> 00:39:39,659.994 Not in 6th grade, yeah. 547 00:39:39,979.994 --> 00:39:43,729.9945 Um, but I wasn't, I wasn't being watched. 548 00:39:43,779.9945 --> 00:39:46,29.9955 My time was with my friends, my influence. 549 00:39:46,229.9955 --> 00:39:46,569.9955 Yeah. 550 00:39:46,589.9955 --> 00:39:47,969.9955 Was much more with my friends. 551 00:39:48,369.9955 --> 00:39:51,69.9955 Um, and again, our kids, they don't have as much of that. 552 00:39:51,119.9955 --> 00:39:53,329.9955 I think all kids today have a bit different life. 553 00:39:53,339.9955 --> 00:39:57,109.9945 They're not just roaming the streets like, like we were. 554 00:39:57,149.9945 --> 00:39:57,589.9945 Um. 555 00:39:57,599.9955 --> 00:39:59,29.9955 Maybe they should be though. 556 00:39:59,634.9955 --> 00:40:01,944.9955 Okay, we need to get them out there roaming the streets more. 557 00:40:01,945.0955 --> 00:40:03,714.9955 We have to take away phones, Jen. 558 00:40:04,224.9955 --> 00:40:05,124.9955 Well, yeah. 559 00:40:05,424.9955 --> 00:40:07,134.9955 We have the digital detox coming up. 560 00:40:07,134.9955 --> 00:40:09,214.9955 You're super excited about that. 561 00:40:09,284.9955 --> 00:40:16,564.9945 Our church does a digital detox, um, in May, which has been really great for our family, but The kids don't love it. 562 00:40:16,564.9945 --> 00:40:17,244.9955 They don't love it. 563 00:40:17,394.9945 --> 00:40:19,404.9945 They're not, they're not so excited about that. 564 00:40:19,404.9945 --> 00:40:23,824.9945 When they're older, they'll love that they have different skill sets from Yeah, from that time. 565 00:40:25,104.9955 --> 00:40:35,995.8766818 Well, Patrick, is there anything else before we close, uh, before we give our cliffhanger? Because you will be on again, so we're just gonna I'm a repeat guest? Yeah, we already talked about that last time. 566 00:40:35,995.8766818 --> 00:40:39,834.9945 Because remember, you were like, right out of the gate, you were like, well, maybe next time. 567 00:40:39,835.0945 --> 00:40:41,874.9945 And that's when I realized mentally, like, oh. 568 00:40:42,64.9955 --> 00:40:43,924.995 It was like days ago, I've forgotten that already. 569 00:40:43,924.995 --> 00:40:48,484.9955 Uh, well, you're, yeah, you're like, you're my guest, like, maybe every other week. 570 00:40:49,59.9955 --> 00:40:52,879.9955 Maybe we can do this together and interview people, love it, and we can interview people. 571 00:40:53,69.9955 --> 00:40:53,609.9955 That's so fun. 572 00:40:53,899.9955 --> 00:40:56,319.9955 And just ask them like off the wall questions. 573 00:40:56,579.9955 --> 00:40:56,899.9955 Maybe. 574 00:40:57,79.9955 --> 00:40:58,969.9945 We'll, we'll workshop that. 575 00:40:59,29.9955 --> 00:40:59,169.9955 Yeah. 576 00:41:01,239.9955 --> 00:41:11,564.9955 Okay, so is there anything else that you want to say before we close about grace and parenting and marriage? Anything that you can think of? No, but you just tapped my leg like you want me to say something. 577 00:41:11,564.9955 --> 00:41:12,72.5705 No, no, no. 578 00:41:12,72.5705 --> 00:41:14,154.8955 I didn't mean to tap your leg. 579 00:41:14,154.9955 --> 00:41:16,358.7270789 I thought that was a signal that, like, I better have something. 580 00:41:16,358.7270789 --> 00:41:19,644.8955 I was, I was grabbing onto the end of the, I was grabbing this. 581 00:41:19,644.9955 --> 00:41:22,184.9955 I thought it was a sign that, uh, I better have something deep. 582 00:41:23,454.9945 --> 00:41:26,824.9955 To say, um, no, thank you, Jen, for having me on. 583 00:41:26,874.9945 --> 00:41:27,344.9945 Seriously. 584 00:41:27,444.9945 --> 00:41:27,904.9965 You're welcome. 585 00:41:27,924.9945 --> 00:41:33,809.9955 Um, it's a privilege to be on here and to be talking to your audience and, uh, It's a privilege to be married to you, frankly. 586 00:41:33,859.9955 --> 00:41:35,839.9955 Aww, that's the sweetest. 587 00:41:36,189.9955 --> 00:41:41,759.9955 It's a privilege to be married to you and thank you for your, my cat's right here now, thank you for your um, willingness to do this. 588 00:41:41,779.9955 --> 00:41:45,219.9955 Because I know you, we talked about it being a bit out of your comfort zone. 589 00:41:45,239.9955 --> 00:41:46,519.9955 So I'm really grateful. 590 00:41:46,689.9955 --> 00:41:47,979.9945 Yeah, I don't love being on camera. 591 00:41:48,119.9955 --> 00:41:52,129.9955 But well, you've done a great job and you're so cute and people can see how cute you are. 592 00:41:53,239.9955 --> 00:42:01,239.9955 Okay, so what's our cliffhanger gonna be for the next time? Probably should have come up with that, that's a good question. 593 00:42:01,669.9955 --> 00:42:19,244.9955 Let's see, how about if you could travel to any place during any period of time, where would you go and when, like what time period? Okay. 594 00:42:19,344.9955 --> 00:42:20,704.9955 Can it be in the future? Yeah. 595 00:42:20,705.0955 --> 00:42:21,384.8955 Okay. 596 00:42:21,384.9955 --> 00:42:21,854.9955 For sure. 597 00:42:21,894.9955 --> 00:42:28,4.9955 Like any, like it is like any time period if you could go and why, why would you choose that? Okay. 598 00:42:28,314.9955 --> 00:42:34,704.9955 Folks, who knows when we'll get back to this one, but it'll, it's, you're going to find that out at some point. 599 00:42:34,854.9955 --> 00:42:35,824.995 Thanks for being here. 600 00:42:35,824.995 --> 00:42:36,244.9945 Friends. 601 00:42:36,244.9945 --> 00:42:37,444.9945 We appreciate you. 602 00:42:37,754.9945 --> 00:42:40,974.9955 Thanks for tuning in to the return to Jesus podcast. 603 00:42:41,24.9955 --> 00:42:44,54.9955 And I look forward to talking to you again next week. 604 00:42:45,594.9955 --> 00:42:45,834.9945 Bye everybody. 605 00:42:47,834.9945 --> 00:42:51,184.9945 I'm excited to share with you that I have written a book. 606 00:42:51,489.9945 --> 00:42:58,529.9945 Titled Return to Jesus, an invitation to abide with him in every beautiful, stressful, or tedious moment. 607 00:42:58,599.9945 --> 00:43:10,539.9935 It is a dream come true, and I could not be more thrilled to share with you that this book is available online at stores such as Target, Walmart, Amazon, Christian Books, and more. 608 00:43:11,379.9935 --> 00:43:17,219.9945 The book will be available on April 15th, 2025 to purchase in store as well. 609 00:43:17,804.9945 --> 00:43:20,344.9945 And I just really appreciate your support. 610 00:43:20,404.9945 --> 00:43:22,74.9945 It means the world to me. 611 00:43:22,744.9945 --> 00:43:24,854.9945 I could not do this without you. 612 00:43:25,524.9945 --> 00:43:28,664.9945 And I'm just so very grateful. 613 00:43:28,794.9935 --> 00:43:30,664.9945 So be sure to grab your copy today. 614 00:43:30,734.9945 --> 00:43:38,124.9945 Again, it's Return to Jesus, an invitation to abide with Him in every beautiful, stressful, or tedious moment.
Hi everyone, welcome to the return to jesus podcast.
We are back I have patrick here once again We're going to go for take two.
I checked.
.9I have plenty of storage on my computer this time, so I see no reason for it to crash like what, four times? Did it crash four times? Yeah, something like that.
(00:28):
Yeah, that was a disaster.
.999But this is going to be smooth, and for those of you that didn't tune in last week, this is my wonderful, fabulous, fantastic husband, Patrick Thompson. 7 00:00:39,534.999 --> 00:00:41,674.999 He is the love of my life, my best friend. 8 00:00:41,674.999 --> 00:00:43,875 We've been together since I was 17.
And he was a bit older.
Yeah.
Let's leave it at that.
We're going to leave it at that, folks.
(00:50):
I mean, not horribly older, but the kids think it's weird. 14 00:00:54,90.1 --> 00:00:54,939.988888889 Yeah, they think it's gross. 15 00:00:54,939.988888889 --> 00:00:55,449.922222222 But it's not. 16 00:00:55,449.922222222 --> 00:00:59,909.999 Like, he was a, he was a senior in high school when I was a freshman. 17 00:01:00,249.999 --> 00:01:00,269.999 Yeah.
And that was super normal when we were kids.
Like, freshman.
In the 90s and, uh, where we grew up, yeah.
Yeah.
Maybe.
Like, freshman dating.
But, but we didn't start dating until the summer before my senior year.
(01:10):
So, yeah.
I mean, I think the kids are really making a big deal out of nothing and it worked great for them.
Hello.
They're alive.
So I feel like they should be thanking us.
Okay.
But anyways, um, for those of you that want to hear all of the wonderful things that I said about my husband, you should really go back and listen to last week.
(01:34):
Um, the podcast with the mishaps, because I could go on and on about how wonderful he is.
.999He has modeled And to me throughout all of the years, what real love and unconditional love and grace and just everything.
He's my love of Christ for me over and over and over.
.999So I'm excited.
(01:55):
.999We're going to talk.
And last time we talked a little bit about your personal habits and returns to Jesus throughout the day.
And now.
We're going to go talk about grace because this season is all about grace.
We're going to talk about grace in relation to our children and our marriage.
.999Oh, wait, but before we do that, we, we, whoa, I can't believe I almost forgot. 42 00:02:21,884.999 --> 00:02:31,625 We ended the last week on a cliffhanger because that's what you do when everything is messing up and you don't know how to end. 43 00:02:31,680.1 --> 00:02:34,760 It's just, it's just Patrick's great idea and I actually, I love it.
(02:35):
Everybody's been waiting too to find out the answer.
Yeah, seriously, they're probably just like, oh, when are we going to find out? So, so we asked what was the dumbest thing? Yeah.
That we've ever done? Yeah. 47 00:02:44,979.999 --> 00:02:45,269.999 Subjective.
.999We actually decided after talking that some of the dumbest things that we've ever done might not be Suitable. 49 00:02:51,719.999 --> 00:02:52,339.999 Suitable. 50 00:02:52,979.999 --> 00:02:56,260 So, we will have some reasonable versions.
(02:56):
Reasonable versions.
You want me to go first? Yeah, you go first.
Okay.
I mean, it is ladies first, but whatever.
I'm a guest, so I'm guess, yeah.
I forgot you're the guest.
So, uh, I don't know, with the headphones, so you can go first.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Um, so like, when I was thinking about this, I was thinking like literally what is the dumbest thing? And, you know, I've done a lot of dangerous things, but.
(03:19):
And this was also dangerous, but I drank when I was three.
So again, you know, it's all relative.
Obviously when you're three, you're doing some really dumb things.
Um, but I would go around and this is again back in the eighties when they had Coke bottle cases of eight and we would store, gosh, you're old enough that you drink out of Coke bottles. 65 00:03:38,564.999 --> 00:03:45,54.999 Yes, not the, yeah, not the new, the Mexican Coke that you can get in a bottle, but no, just all Coke came in a glass bottle.
(03:45):
I think it was a pack of eight, um, anyways, so my addiction to soda started really early by three.
I was already going around and drinking the skug.
.9995Left in those containers. 69 00:03:55,884.9995 --> 00:03:58,345 Is that what it's called? Is that like officially skug? That's what I'm calling it.
That's what I'm calling it.
That's so gross.
.001The bottom of the coke bottle that would be left in. 73 00:04:03,204.999 --> 00:04:04,255 Anything called skug.
No.
Well, it's three.
So, again, back to the dumbest thing.
(04:08):
Um.
And we would keep it out.
I can remember we'd keep them out in the garage or in the basement, and it was just nasty but again I just went around I would drink these and so my brother my oldest brother who's actually tried to kill me a couple times I'm sure he'll argue that but this was his first time.
Whoa, okay No, we can't get into that He knows who he is he knows who he is Whoa, so he thought he would be Um, yeah, industrious and make, I don't know why, because we didn't have rats in our house.
(04:46):
Um, but he made rat poison and he made it in a coke bottle and that mixture contained Drano, Clorox bleach and some other stuff, but those two were the sounds like poison bad enough.
Um, and so I, uh, went down and again, drank, you know, I'm sure it was blue and that's where the dumb part comes in as I drink.
.9Wait, you were three! Right, right, right, right.
(05:09):
So again, but three year olds are pretty dumb, right? So anyways, dumbest thing.
.825I hope no three year olds are listening. 86 00:05:14,353.825 --> 00:05:15,400 They're going to be so sad.
Do you think three year olds are part of this? I apologize.
Seriously, to any three year old, that's paying attention. 89 00:05:22,35.1 --> 00:05:25,185 Um, so, I went, I drank it.
Again, I have no recollection of this.
Drank it.
Luckily, my mom was home, and she was an ER nurse, I threw up on the floor, she saw the blue, and immediately got me, uh, in a car, and that's, that, yeah, and I, luckily, apparently, the Drano had dropped to the bottom because Drano's really heavy, and so really what I drank was bleach.
(05:47):
So there wasn't any, uh, I don't think I got the Drano, if I'd gotten the Drano, I would have died.
So, um, yeah, it's so scary.
.999My only recollection is I do remember like in a dreamlike state of a tube going down my throat, but that's it.
So, yeah, I'm miracle I'm here.
Yeah, seriously, that is so scary.
And it's so great that your mom is in ER nurse so that she knew.
(06:10):
The minute that she saw you throw up the blue, it's like, so that's my story.
Not so funny, but it's got some funny elements.
I mean, I'm just glad you made it.
That's real sad, babe.
So what's your dumbest thing, Jen? Well, again, yeah, a lot of my dumbest stories are not suitable for the three year olds listening.
(06:31):
.999We got to think about our audience, um, but the one I think that like really stands out to me.
is when I was in my early 20s and I had, um, a white.
Dodge.
Wasn't it a Dodge? Remember that? I didn't have that car for very long.
(06:52):
.9That car did not last very long.
It was a Pontiac or something like that, yeah. 110 00:06:55,950.1 --> 00:06:56,619.999 No, no, no.
The Pontiac lasted forever. 112 00:06:58,60.1 --> 00:07:01,160 The mean green Pontiac 6000 LE.
Yeah, the other one might have been a Dodge.
.999That's my first car.
.999That car lasted forever. 116 00:07:05,370.099 --> 00:07:07,550 But the white car, that one didn't last long.
But I was at my mom's house.
What age were you in this? I was in my early twenties.
(07:14):
And, you know, the time in life when you know everything and your mom knows nothing.
I was securely planted in that age where I was the smartest person in my house.
.999No question.
.999And so my mom came out to, to talk to me when I was getting ready to go hang out with somebody. 123 00:07:33,325.099 --> 00:07:39,255 I don't know, probably you and, and I was driving away and she's like, Jennifer.
(07:39):
Stop! Your car's on fire! Jennifer! And I could like see the smoke and I was just so annoyed because I had to get to where I was going and I mean I'm sure I could drive with my car. 125 00:07:55,424.999 --> 00:08:06,464.999 Was it really on fire? I mean it felt like she was probably being a little dramatic like sure there was some smoke but it felt at that time like with me and all of my knowing and her and all of her drama.
(08:06):
That there was no way my car was actually on fire.
.99565217Did you ever stop and check? Yeah! Well then, because she's like, Please, please, stop! There are flames! Your car is on fire! So I was like, Oh! Fine, mom. 128 00:08:19,42.99565217 --> 00:08:28,209.94422222 And the driver stopped me at the car and then like slammed the door on me like, AHH! My car's on fire! Hahaha. 129 00:08:28,209.94422222 --> 00:08:29,580 Oh my gosh.
(08:29):
Yeah, so, And then what did you do? Did you run? I mean, yeah, because the car was on fire, but then it was fine.
Like the car was fine.
It didn't like blow up or explode.
It was just a little, it was just a little fire.
But, but I don't, I think that was the last time I ever drove that car.
.999Like it was, I'm pretty sure. 136 00:08:49,419.999 --> 00:08:51,599.999 And then you went to the GeoStorm. 137 00:08:52,99.999 --> 00:08:53,420 Then I went to the GeoStorm.
(08:53):
Yeah.
I think that was the end of the Dodge, but the lesson that I should have learned that still took me a long time to learn.
Just listen to your mom.
Like, I was so sure that I knew everything and she knew nothing, but looking back, she's the one that knew so much.
I'm the one that didn't know anything.
(09:13):
Right. 144 00:09:13,625.1 --> 00:09:15,404.999 She was warning you.
And also, if anybody is ever like, please stop, your car is on fire, you should probably stop the car.
Yeah.
So, dumb.
That is incredibly dumb.
Well, I guess my learning is, don't drink blue liquid from the bottom.
Uh, a clear Coke bottle.
(09:33):
Yeah, for sure.
Don't do that. 153 00:09:35,600.1 --> 00:09:36,789.9 Okay.
All you three year olds out there.
And, uh, maybe just don't drink anything anybody refers to as skug. 156 00:09:42,280.1 --> 00:09:45,159.9 Okay.
We'll follow those two rules. 158 00:09:47,179.999 --> 00:09:49,429.999 Okay guys, so that was your lesson for today.
So, now that you all are aware of the dumbest things that we have, well, quote unquote dumbest.
(09:55):
.999There's way more, but we're just gonna leave it at that.
Um, we're going to hop in, Pat, now, completely go in a different direction with this podcast into grace, parenting, and child rearing, marriage, wait, parenting and child rearing.
Grace and marriage. 163 00:10:12,974.999 --> 00:10:13,204.999 Parenting.
So, I have a question for you, Patrick. 165 00:10:16,815.001 --> 00:10:22,985 How do you think grace has played a role in our marriage? Hmm.
(10:23):
Yeah.
We kind of talked about this, whoa, wait.
Back it up.
I think we already did that question.
Yeah, because I think that the question that we stopped on before, well, what has surprised you about this season we are in now? And how is it different from other seasons? Because I remember you talking about how, uh, the cost, like the expense.
(10:47):
Yeah.
Yeah. 173 00:10:47,585.001 --> 00:10:49,285.001 Was it, was a shock? Yes. 174 00:10:49,635.001 --> 00:10:54,465.001 So what would you like to say? I guess let's tell people that didn't listen last time. 175 00:10:54,635.001 --> 00:10:55,965.001 What season we're in. 176 00:10:57,440.001 --> 00:10:57,690.001 Okay. 177 00:10:57,730.001 --> 00:11:02,670.001 And what would you like to tell people about this season that we're in? Yeah. 178 00:11:02,700.001 --> 00:11:08,800 Oh, well, I mean, yeah, the season we're in is our kids are teenagers and growing. 179 00:11:09,250.001 --> 00:11:14,420.0015 so we've got our first in college and then, basically every two years we'll be putting another in college. 180 00:11:14,470.0015 --> 00:11:15,60.0005 We have four. 181 00:11:15,610.0005 --> 00:11:18,270.0015 So that is, you know, kind of that. 182 00:11:18,690.0015 --> 00:11:21,170.0015 Yeah, that is expensive. 183 00:11:21,600.0015 --> 00:11:23,600.0015 Um, mentally taxing. 184 00:11:24,80.0015 --> 00:11:27,130.0005 Um, we've, we certainly find ourselves getting plenty of sleep. 185 00:11:27,300.0015 --> 00:11:29,520.0015 Uh, we can go out on plenty of dates. 186 00:11:29,850.0015 --> 00:11:34,740.0025 Um, we have a lot of freedoms that we didn't have when when the kids were younger and when we were younger. 187 00:11:35,290.0015 --> 00:11:43,770.0025 Um, but it's, it's switched, right? Like the, the difficulty in rearing the children now has to do with navigating much more difficult. 188 00:11:44,300.0025 --> 00:11:47,950.0025 Waters that we don't know the answers as opposed to when they were young. 189 00:11:47,950.0025 --> 00:11:51,480.0025 It's like, it was a little bit more black and white and we kind of knew. 190 00:11:51,940.0025 --> 00:12:05,490.0025 You know the answers or I mean there's some that were tough, but now when a kid brings a an issue They're you know in college and dealing with something yeah, the waters are much more murky and Wow, that was loud. 191 00:12:05,960.0015 --> 00:12:06,870.0015 It must have been a good point. 192 00:12:06,880.0015 --> 00:12:22,345.0025 So listen to that one everybody But so and then and then the also the stage we're in is our parents are getting older my parents My dad's dead and my mom's got dementia and you know, my parents a bit older. 193 00:12:22,735.0025 --> 00:12:24,15.0025 And so we're dealing with that. 194 00:12:24,15.0025 --> 00:12:27,375.0025 And it's just that period where so much is happening. 195 00:12:27,875.0025 --> 00:12:28,575.0025 To us. 196 00:12:29,95.0025 --> 00:12:39,730.0025 And again, the financial strain, as I think I was mentioning before, with the kids being out and having driver's license, the things I didn't think about was You know, they're just out and they're, they're wanting to spend more money. 197 00:12:40,60.0025 --> 00:12:41,120.0025 You can't control it. 198 00:12:41,130.0025 --> 00:12:43,113.3025 You're divvying it out. 199 00:12:43,113.3025 --> 00:12:45,530.0025 They don't have unlimited access to the funds. 200 00:12:46,430.0015 --> 00:12:46,650.0015 Yes. 201 00:12:46,650.0025 --> 00:12:51,730.0015 But your, your control is less when they're out there in another city and they need money. 202 00:12:52,710.0025 --> 00:12:53,650.0025 You're going to give them some money. 203 00:12:53,660.0025 --> 00:12:57,910.0025 So anyway, so I, I, I, that's again, going into the surprise. 204 00:12:57,940.0025 --> 00:13:04,750.0025 That was the surprise was I just didn't realize how expensive it would get once the kids were kind of doing their own things. 205 00:13:04,900.0015 --> 00:13:14,430.0025 I really hadn't given that thought, but yeah, well, and they ask for a lot, like when they're younger, it was more like you're at target and maybe they see something and it's like, no. 206 00:13:14,610.0025 --> 00:13:15,970.0025 And they handled that better. 207 00:13:15,970.0025 --> 00:13:21,430.0025 But now it's like these things that are more complicated because it's like, Hey, all of my friends are going out. 208 00:13:22,365.0025 --> 00:13:30,965.0025 And you want them to hang out with their friends, right? So it's like, well, you want them to be able to go get ice cream and it's just, I don't know. 209 00:13:31,5.0025 --> 00:13:35,825.0025 It's more, it's more complicated than it's harder to say no to. 210 00:13:35,925.0025 --> 00:13:49,325.0025 Or they want social media, which you know, is a really big one, right? And we've held off in some ways and you know, what's the right answer because you know, you want them to be part of all the social and communication methods that are going on. 211 00:13:49,950.0025 --> 00:13:58,220.0025 with everybody today, but you don't want to, you know, just let them loose in this kind of, uh, in a world of another important point. 212 00:13:58,250.0015 --> 00:14:07,140.0015 Obviously, I don't know if we can turn that beeping off, but everybody's just going to enjoy that's what's going to go really loud beeping throughout. 213 00:14:08,600.0015 --> 00:14:13,600.0025 Um, so yeah, I mean, did I answer the question? Yeah, you absolutely did. 214 00:14:13,610.0025 --> 00:14:21,730.0025 Well, and it just makes me think to that she said about the uniqueness of This season, maybe the surprises of this season. 215 00:14:21,750.0025 --> 00:14:33,580.0025 It's just so much more of a strain and a squeeze than I think we were anticipating from so many different areas and the things that are being dealt with. 216 00:14:33,590.0015 --> 00:14:37,90.0015 They just feel more intense than they did. 217 00:14:37,725.0025 --> 00:15:06,50.0025 Like it was very exhausting physically when they were younger, but now there's just this kind of mental Exhaustion and just so much more questioning, right? Well, and even like thinking about the finances like you want them to go out and get jobs and learn how to save money and Be financially independent and responsible But then here's also this element of like they're so busy and they're doing so many things You know, have their freedom while they have it. 218 00:15:06,80.0025 --> 00:15:13,50.0025 So you don't want them to come home every day from a whole day of school and theater or whatever, and then head off to work and then work all weekend. 219 00:15:13,50.0025 --> 00:15:16,840.0025 Like they have to have their friends and their, their free time too. 220 00:15:16,940.0025 --> 00:15:19,280.0015 So it's just, yeah, it's just a lot. 221 00:15:19,400.0025 --> 00:15:21,60.0025 So I appreciate what you said. 222 00:15:21,870.0025 --> 00:15:23,300.0015 I think we're doing a good job though. 223 00:15:23,550.0025 --> 00:15:24,740.0025 We're figuring it out. 224 00:15:24,910.0025 --> 00:15:26,79.9025 Well, and that's the thing. 225 00:15:26,80.0025 --> 00:15:27,70.0025 We still have a lot of fun together. 226 00:15:27,615.0025 --> 00:15:27,845.0025 Yeah. 227 00:15:27,895.0025 --> 00:15:38,955.0025 Well, and that's what I mentioned at first was that, I mean, for us, I feel like, you know, one, we can get sleep whenever we need it, which is pretty awesome. 228 00:15:38,955.0025 --> 00:15:43,745.0025 Not that our lives aren't super busy, but we don't have anybody crying and waking us up in the middle of the night. 229 00:15:43,945.0015 --> 00:15:48,465.0025 We don't have anybody waking up at, you know, five 30 or six in the morning crying. 230 00:15:48,885.0025 --> 00:15:56,555.0025 Although we do have a cat that is getting up at five in the morning and tapping us and trying to wake us up. 231 00:15:57,60.0025 --> 00:16:04,760.0025 So we do have that, but, uh, she can be, she can be, um, diverted a little more easily than the kids. 232 00:16:04,830.0025 --> 00:16:09,630.0025 Um, so yeah, so I, I feel like from our standpoint physically, it's great. 233 00:16:09,640.0025 --> 00:16:10,700.0025 I was thinking about it today. 234 00:16:10,750.0025 --> 00:16:13,170.0015 I was out, you know, I can take a run. 235 00:16:13,200.0025 --> 00:16:15,820.0015 I can go on a run and not worry about where. 236 00:16:16,105.0025 --> 00:16:32,55.0035 The kids are anything like that because everybody's kind of self sufficient and there was a time when we had younger kids that's just not happened and you're just too busy or exhausted and You're in a period where I mean if you can get workouts in when your kids are young or do anything for yourself That's a big win. 237 00:16:32,495.0025 --> 00:16:33,155.0025 It sure is. 238 00:16:33,185.0025 --> 00:16:52,70.0015 So yeah, but now I feel like those things are a plenty Um, but then the mental part of it is where, yeah, it's just really taxing trying to figure out how to support your kids when they're at college, when they're dealing with, friends, boyfriends, all that good stuff, all the things that we don't, there's no definitive answer to a lot of these questions. 239 00:16:52,70.0015 --> 00:16:56,510.0025 And so it's just, yeah, a lot of prayer and discussion amongst us. 240 00:16:56,740.0025 --> 00:16:57,130.0025 Yeah. 241 00:16:57,180.0025 --> 00:17:02,790.0025 And I think having good friends too, that we can talk to when stuff does kind of feel real. 242 00:17:03,385.0025 --> 00:17:12,970.0025 A little wonky, just knowing that we'll trust them and pray with them and they'll pray for us and offer us just like their thoughts too. 243 00:17:12,970.0025 --> 00:17:18,695.0025 I think sharing, and being open about what you can with your friends, about your kids. 244 00:17:18,715.0015 --> 00:17:24,395.001 That's not going to like compromise, any privacy with your children, I think is really helpful. 245 00:17:24,405.001 --> 00:17:28,105.001 Because one, we typically find out, oh, we're not the only ones dealing with this. 246 00:17:28,105.101 --> 00:17:33,175.002 Um, you get a perspective that, you know, You know, maybe it fits what you were already thinking. 247 00:17:33,185.002 --> 00:17:33,845.002 Maybe it doesn't. 248 00:17:33,845.002 --> 00:17:38,965.002 Either way, you're getting a more well rounded view on kind of what to do. 249 00:17:39,485.002 --> 00:17:49,709.903 and then you have support from those folks, right? So then when your friends kind of know what's going on with their kids, they can ask, and it just, it feels, I generally think it feels much better. 250 00:17:50,150.003 --> 00:17:53,540.003 To be in this with other people than to just feel like you're alone dealing with these. 251 00:17:53,670.003 --> 00:18:17,535.003 Yeah, I agree It's difficult issues with the kids because as we've talked a lot and we might have mentioned on the first part, We're all kind of winging this Right, right that your parents didn't have some set of rules and manuals that they were just rolling by that they were that they were winging it to and so We're all winging it. 252 00:18:17,535.003 --> 00:18:23,275.003 And so I feel like when you admit that and when you're with your friends, at least you can come up with a better solution. 253 00:18:23,645.003 --> 00:18:24,45.003 Yeah. 254 00:18:24,535.003 --> 00:18:24,955.003 Yeah. 255 00:18:25,5.003 --> 00:18:25,595.003 That's great. 256 00:18:25,605.002 --> 00:18:26,105.003 And grace. 257 00:18:26,125.003 --> 00:18:29,465.003 It's all about the grace, right? Cause we're not going to get it right all the time. 258 00:18:29,475.002 --> 00:18:33,355.003 We've had to apologize to our children so many times. 259 00:18:33,375.002 --> 00:18:37,635.003 We've had to apologize to each other so many times. 260 00:18:37,645.003 --> 00:18:44,775.003 I mean, I think part of it is just also like not being so prideful as a parent or as a spouse. 261 00:18:45,635.003 --> 00:18:49,525.003 That you can't humble yourself and say, man, you didn't deserve that. 262 00:18:49,945.003 --> 00:19:10,545.003 I shouldn't have acted that way and Just being willing to always kind of clean up your side of the street Yeah, I think that says a lot to your key to the kids to when we're like, hey, I'm sorry Well, I shouldn't have acted that way I was tired or not I mean not that that excuses it but it just lets them know like I'm human too and I I shouldn't have acted that way. 263 00:19:10,605.003 --> 00:19:19,703.5601429 Right, and, like, for me, that's, I mean, maybe it's not a great thing that I've been apologizing all of their lives, but, I mean, I think it is a great thing. 264 00:19:19,703.5601429 --> 00:19:26,865.0025 Well, but it also is, I've been, you know, acting in manners that aren't necessarily appropriate all the time, so then I have to go apologize. 265 00:19:26,865.0025 --> 00:19:27,695.003 Right, no, you're right, you're right. 266 00:19:27,855.003 --> 00:19:39,515.003 So, but with our kids, I definitely, like, I have a bit of anxiety and a little bit of a temper, and so, I can be a yeller, not like screaming and not like degrading yelling, but just yelling. 267 00:19:40,125.003 --> 00:19:46,155.003 And, when I get upset and then I can remember since the kids were like always just apologize and be like, all right, I made a mistake. 268 00:19:46,885.003 --> 00:19:48,845.002 And I do think, I do agree. 269 00:19:48,875.003 --> 00:19:50,935.003 I think that they see that as okay, okay. 270 00:19:50,935.003 --> 00:19:56,55.003 You know, as a vulnerability to wait, dad makes mistakes. 271 00:19:56,95.003 --> 00:19:57,435.003 Yeah, I think that's important. 272 00:19:57,435.003 --> 00:19:59,365.003 I didn't feel that way. 273 00:19:59,385.003 --> 00:20:02,635.003 And I want our kids to know that we are not. 274 00:20:03,490.003 --> 00:20:06,910.003 Perfect and infallible and that we do make mistakes and we make mistakes. 275 00:20:07,200.003 --> 00:20:08,320.003 We apologize for them. 276 00:20:08,760.003 --> 00:20:11,180.003 We try to correct them, and try to do better next time. 277 00:20:11,460.003 --> 00:20:17,890.003 Well, and it's funny that you mentioned that about you yelling cause I can't even think of the last time I've heard you raise your voice. 278 00:20:17,940.003 --> 00:20:18,400.003 Yeah. 279 00:20:18,570.003 --> 00:20:22,170.003 Like in all sincerity, like I would have to seriously. 280 00:20:23,210.003 --> 00:20:23,500.003 Yeah. 281 00:20:23,880.003 --> 00:20:28,724.903 I mean, again, it was a lot when they were younger and you're just trying to, when you're trying to control a group and it was just like. 282 00:20:29,265.003 --> 00:20:29,515.003 Yeah. 283 00:20:29,615.003 --> 00:20:30,55.003 Yeah. 284 00:20:30,175.003 --> 00:20:32,805.003 So, but, oh, that's good stuff. 285 00:20:32,815.003 --> 00:20:45,962.553 Or, or when Sophia, when it would, we would spend, sorry Sophia, when I would spend 30, 45 minutes, 30, 45 minutes, yes, getting her to bed, um, when she was little. 286 00:20:45,962.553 --> 00:20:47,486.8155 Oh, she was so hard to get to bed. 287 00:20:47,486.8155 --> 00:20:49,835.003 And she had, she had all these routines. 288 00:20:49,905.003 --> 00:20:50,165.003 Oh my gosh. 289 00:20:50,195.003 --> 00:20:53,980.003 And we would do all the routines And, we had a baby at the time too. 290 00:20:53,980.003 --> 00:20:58,190.003 And so, you know, we were trying to get lots of babies, right? And we're trying to get it all done. 291 00:20:58,740.003 --> 00:21:07,330.0025 And, and also again, where I, my issue came in, being super selfish at that time of night, I was just like, okay, just got to get to, and then I can have some free time anyways. 292 00:21:07,800.0025 --> 00:21:15,680.0025 Inevitably, I'd put her to bed, that whole long routine, and then I'd walk out of the doorway, and then I'd stop, and I'd look around, and she was right there behind me. 293 00:21:16,430.0025 --> 00:21:25,120.0015 And, like, now saying that, it's a super cute vision, but when I was in that, it was like, there's a monster that, just followed me. 294 00:21:25,120.0015 --> 00:21:33,920.0025 So, that was a lot of them, and I'd yell at her to get back to bed, and then I'd have to go in immediately and So, oh my gosh, I remember that so vividly. 295 00:21:33,970.0025 --> 00:21:35,840.0025 Yeah, she was, she did not like going to bed. 296 00:21:35,840.0025 --> 00:21:38,160.0025 Her cute little, you know, in her little nightgowns. 297 00:21:38,200.0025 --> 00:21:39,700.0025 She didn't want to miss anything. 298 00:21:40,160.0025 --> 00:21:52,210.0025 She always reminded me of, um, oh my gosh, was it Growing, was it Growing Pains? Do you remember the episode where there was the little kid and she never wanted to go to bed because she felt like she was always missing something. 299 00:21:52,210.0025 --> 00:21:55,680.0025 So they set up this whole elaborate scene where they got out all of her toys. 300 00:21:55,680.0025 --> 00:21:55,940.0025 No. 301 00:21:56,330.0025 --> 00:22:04,550.0025 I never saw that so when she came down the stairs, they were all playing with her toys and she was like, I knew this is what you didn't know. 302 00:22:04,560.0025 --> 00:22:05,180.0025 Oh, that's pretty funny. 303 00:22:05,180.1025 --> 00:22:05,809.9025 That's pretty funny. 304 00:22:05,810.0025 --> 00:22:12,440.0015 Was, uh, that in the season that Leonardo DiCaprio was in it or no? Uh, I could only hope so. 305 00:22:12,450.0025 --> 00:22:16,0.0025 Was he using growing pains wasn't he? Yes! He was! So maybe that's why you remember that episode. 306 00:22:16,0.1025 --> 00:22:16,710.0025 That's probably why. 307 00:22:16,710.1025 --> 00:22:23,205.0025 He probably was! I guarantee you if we go find that episode, he was probably It's like a big part of that. 308 00:22:23,215.0025 --> 00:22:24,65.0025 I'm going to go back and find it. 309 00:22:24,115.0025 --> 00:22:29,355.0025 Because I think he was added as a, you know, as a neighbor kid, right? Like to try to bring back ratings. 310 00:22:29,435.0025 --> 00:22:31,55.0025 Yeah, they're the adorable neighbor, which is why I like it. 311 00:22:31,135.0015 --> 00:22:31,525.0025 Yeah, I loved it. 312 00:22:31,525.0025 --> 00:22:33,15.0025 Okay, we've super digressed. 313 00:22:33,15.0025 --> 00:22:33,385.0025 Sorry. 314 00:22:33,525.0025 --> 00:22:34,105.0025 That's okay. 315 00:22:34,355.0025 --> 00:22:36,457.2131667 I feel like anybody People want to know about me growing pains. 316 00:22:36,457.2131667 --> 00:22:39,835.0025 Anybody that's listening to this is us, so this is what you're going to get. 317 00:22:41,255.0025 --> 00:22:42,625.0025 Okay, back on track. 318 00:22:42,675.0025 --> 00:22:42,755.0025 Yes. 319 00:22:42,845.0025 --> 00:22:43,425.0025 Patrick. 320 00:22:44,15.0025 --> 00:22:51,600.0025 What are some habits or things we do? That we have incorporated into our marriage that make it stronger. 321 00:22:51,740.0025 --> 00:22:56,520.0025 So what do you think that we do that makes our marriage stronger? That's, uh, well, I'll start. 322 00:22:56,530.0025 --> 00:22:58,40.0025 So we do. 323 00:22:58,795.0025 --> 00:23:01,35.0025 I mean, it's been tough at times to go on dates. 324 00:23:01,35.0025 --> 00:23:06,845.0025 And so I'm not saying like we are super regimented and regular about dates, but we focus on them. 325 00:23:06,855.0025 --> 00:23:09,305.0025 So when we do have time, we go on dates. 326 00:23:09,315.0025 --> 00:23:13,95.0015 And inevitably when we go on a date, we, uh, rate our. 327 00:23:13,550.0025 --> 00:23:22,478.4814474 relationship and we've been doing that for a long time and I think we're both pretty honest about it and we know when things are kind of rough and when things are going pretty well. 328 00:23:22,478.4814474 --> 00:23:23,166.8603947 Skill 1 to 10. 329 00:23:23,166.8603947 --> 00:23:23,511.0498684 That's it. 330 00:23:23,511.0498684 --> 00:23:24,199.4288158 It's 1 to 10. 331 00:23:24,199.4288158 --> 00:23:25,370.0025 Where do you put us? Right. 332 00:23:25,420.0025 --> 00:23:26,380.0025 And then we have to say why. 333 00:23:26,550.0025 --> 00:23:26,810.0025 Right. 334 00:23:26,830.0015 --> 00:23:30,340.0015 And then, and then it just starts that discussion and opens things up. 335 00:23:30,720.0025 --> 00:23:35,595.0025 Um, so I think I mean, to me, that's one thing that, that jumps out. 336 00:23:36,85.0025 --> 00:23:36,425.0025 Yeah. 337 00:23:36,525.0025 --> 00:23:43,135.0025 And the last like three dates, what number have we been, babe? I think we've been like nine, nine, both of us. 338 00:23:43,325.0025 --> 00:23:43,435.0025 Boom. 339 00:23:43,955.0025 --> 00:23:44,185.0025 Yeah. 340 00:23:44,265.0025 --> 00:23:44,755.0025 Yeah. 341 00:23:45,115.0025 --> 00:23:47,845.0015 So, so yeah. 342 00:23:47,915.0015 --> 00:23:52,25.0015 Um, I, I feel like that, again, there was, that's not, that doesn't always happen. 343 00:23:52,105.0015 --> 00:23:53,264.0825 I'm just saying, there's a lot of stuff. 344 00:23:53,264.0825 --> 00:23:54,8.9825 We're in a good spot. 345 00:23:54,8.9825 --> 00:23:57,255.0025 There's a lot of things we had that we didn't plan. 346 00:23:57,255.0025 --> 00:23:58,185.0025 They're just naturally. 347 00:23:58,185.0025 --> 00:24:00,855.0025 I mean, I think we both, you know, tend to go to humor. 348 00:24:01,205.0025 --> 00:24:17,505.0005 Um, in situations because we're so funny, I think we both, appreciate a lot of the same thing, even though we're very different and we're almost opposite in some of the ways we handle things and the way we think about some things, but, we enjoy a lot of the same stuff. 349 00:24:17,505.0005 --> 00:24:21,225.0005 And so but again, those are all just natural things of our marriage that has made it easy because. 350 00:24:22,180.0005 --> 00:24:25,200.0005 We can always kind of come back to those things that we enjoy doing. 351 00:24:25,300.0005 --> 00:24:37,879.9995 Going on walks regularly is something that over the last few years, uh, really since the pandemic has been a nice thing because what I find is we, I was just thinking about this when we were on a walk yesterday. 352 00:24:38,229.9995 --> 00:24:46,895.0005 Um, Um, we could go and be in the house, we could go to dinner, we could be with, and we could say very little to each other, right? Because we're talking about other things. 353 00:24:46,895.0005 --> 00:24:47,375.0005 We're really not. 354 00:24:47,505.0005 --> 00:24:48,244.9995 Or like business. 355 00:24:48,245.0995 --> 00:24:48,914.9005 It's more business. 356 00:24:48,915.0005 --> 00:24:49,325.0005 Right, right. 357 00:24:49,325.0005 --> 00:24:50,524.9995 We're just taking care of stuff. 358 00:24:50,835.0005 --> 00:24:56,34.9995 But when we go on a walk, there's just something about that it's a, you know, kind of side by side. 359 00:24:56,35.0005 --> 00:24:59,35.0005 You're not staring at each other, but you just kind of, it's conversational. 360 00:24:59,335.0005 --> 00:25:06,195.0005 And so I find that we do a lot of our, kind of working through things and figuring things out, when we're able to go on walks together. 361 00:25:06,685.0005 --> 00:25:14,205.0005 I, I would agree with that wholeheartedly because like during the day we're both working for the most part, so we don't want to bother each other. 362 00:25:14,884.9995 --> 00:25:23,15.0005 And then it's easy then when the kids are home to kind of focus on the business of what has to be done, what's happening tonight. 363 00:25:23,65.0005 --> 00:25:24,735.0005 And then at night we have family. 364 00:25:24,775.0005 --> 00:25:32,835.0005 I would say one of the things too is our, I think, well, and this is like not only our marriage, but also our family as a whole, we've made. 365 00:25:33,195.0005 --> 00:25:38,795.0005 dinner time a priority for always like that has always been a priority for us. 366 00:25:39,735.0005 --> 00:25:42,545.0005 we sit down at the table and we have dinner together. 367 00:25:42,575.0005 --> 00:25:46,445.0005 We usually do highs and lows or prayer requests and praises. 368 00:25:47,344.9995 --> 00:25:53,545.0005 And I felt like we find out more about each other's day and about the kid's days when we do that. 369 00:25:53,555.0005 --> 00:25:57,915.0005 And I feel like that's something that keeps us connected and such a busy. 370 00:25:58,610.0005 --> 00:25:59,60.0005 Season. 371 00:25:59,100.0005 --> 00:25:59,580.0005 Totally. 372 00:25:59,600.0005 --> 00:25:59,920.0005 Yeah. 373 00:25:59,950.0005 --> 00:26:00,580.0005 I would. 374 00:26:00,750.0005 --> 00:26:00,880.0005 Yeah. 375 00:26:00,910.0005 --> 00:26:02,550.0005 That is one that we planned. 376 00:26:02,550.0005 --> 00:26:05,450.0005 I remember before we were ever married, talking about that. 377 00:26:05,450.0005 --> 00:26:16,399.9995 And certainly when we got married, started getting ready to have kids, we talked about our approach to dinner and that we were going to see that as kind of the central kind of gathering point of our days. 378 00:26:16,459.9995 --> 00:26:17,330.0005 And we've stuck to it. 379 00:26:17,330.0005 --> 00:26:18,670.0005 And the funny thing is, so we have. 380 00:26:19,250.0005 --> 00:26:30,390.0005 We have, you know, kind of a formal dining room where we, that's where we have like dinner if we're going to, and then we have our kitchen island where we are right now, which is more of the informal, hey, we're going to watch TV dinner. 381 00:26:30,880.0005 --> 00:26:39,680.0005 But the funny thing is, is the kids, they all want to do the informal because it's like, oh, we're going to watch TV and it's going to be like late, you know, I think it's just that natural, like it's not as formal. 382 00:26:40,270.0005 --> 00:26:43,340.0005 But then inevitably we all sit down and then we talk. 383 00:26:43,340.1005 --> 00:26:44,987.9405 It's just the same. 384 00:26:44,987.9405 --> 00:26:47,599.9005 It's the same, but we're just not all staring at each other. 385 00:26:47,600.0005 --> 00:26:49,60.0005 We're just in a different format. 386 00:26:49,450.0005 --> 00:26:53,280.0005 Maybe it's kind of like walking, you know, because you're not staring at each other, crossing each other. 387 00:26:53,280.0005 --> 00:26:57,399.9995 You're just kind of side by side and it's like that driving in a car, walking or whatever. 388 00:26:57,775.0005 --> 00:27:00,315.0005 It's just you feel a little more open to kind of talk about things. 389 00:27:00,315.0005 --> 00:27:00,765.0005 Maybe. 390 00:27:00,765.0005 --> 00:27:01,35.0005 I don't know. 391 00:27:01,35.0005 --> 00:27:18,234.9995 I'm just thinking about that literally right now Yeah, but it is funny that when we sit here and have the TV on we all just talk over it So we should probably just stick to the dining room But yeah, I agree again in my family growing up. 392 00:27:18,494.9995 --> 00:27:27,635.0005 That was something that was really big everything that got discussed happened at the dinner table So many funny memories and things like that that you just wouldn't have. 393 00:27:27,635.0005 --> 00:27:31,285.0005 At least I feel like I wouldn't have if it wasn't around the dinner table. 394 00:27:31,285.0005 --> 00:27:33,324.9995 And so, yeah, that's a great one. 395 00:27:33,584.9995 --> 00:27:33,974.9995 Yeah. 396 00:27:34,5.0005 --> 00:27:34,515.0005 For our whole family. 397 00:27:34,515.0005 --> 00:27:36,405.0005 And that's for our whole family, too. 398 00:27:36,655.0005 --> 00:27:38,725.0005 But I think it also keeps us connected. 399 00:27:39,234.9995 --> 00:27:42,755.0005 and I would say, too, with our marriage, we have our faith. 400 00:27:42,785.0005 --> 00:27:43,725.0005 We have our shared faith. 401 00:27:43,905.0005 --> 00:27:44,535.0005 Yes, absolutely. 402 00:27:44,745.0005 --> 00:27:51,355.0005 And we have, uh, very similar, just, I think, like we're different, like you said. 403 00:27:51,435.0005 --> 00:27:53,425.0005 Like I would say you're the yin to my yang. 404 00:27:54,145.0005 --> 00:28:01,264.9995 We have a lot of differences, but our core, like, beliefs are the same. 405 00:28:01,265.0995 --> 00:28:09,379.9005 Our core longings and our faith and just the way we kind of view things. 406 00:28:09,380.0005 --> 00:28:13,740.0005 I think our world view, I would say, yeah, our belief system. 407 00:28:14,710.0005 --> 00:28:15,460.0005 Um, yeah. 408 00:28:15,460.0005 --> 00:28:17,800.0005 And then our, you know, ultimate, our goals. 409 00:28:17,820.0005 --> 00:28:18,120.0005 Yeah. 410 00:28:18,150.0005 --> 00:28:31,260.0005 I think we're all aligned that anchor like in this, I think like of just all of the different things, even the stuff that we're going through now, we just continue to go back to our anchor and our faith. 411 00:28:31,380.0005 --> 00:28:33,860.0005 And it's kind of like no matter what hit. 412 00:28:34,15.0005 --> 00:28:37,895.0005 It's, we know ultimately we're going to be okay. 413 00:28:39,475.0005 --> 00:28:43,5.0005 Well, in a lot of that, I think about our specific to our marriage. 414 00:28:43,55.0005 --> 00:28:44,905.0005 we dated for almost eight years. 415 00:28:44,905.0005 --> 00:28:45,215.0005 Yeah. 416 00:28:45,504.9995 --> 00:28:45,835.0005 Long time. 417 00:28:46,65.0005 --> 00:28:56,44.9985 And that was purposeful because we both came from divorced families and we both had made commitments individually, before we ever met each other that we weren't going to get married and get divorced. 418 00:28:56,54.9985 --> 00:29:01,774.9995 And again, that's not saying anything against it, but we were both clearly dead set because of our own experiences with it. 419 00:29:01,774.9995 --> 00:29:03,34.9995 And so when we got together. 420 00:29:03,384.9995 --> 00:29:06,204.9995 I think both of us, we worked through so much stuff. 421 00:29:06,204.9995 --> 00:29:08,784.9995 And, you know, pre marriage, pre marriage. 422 00:29:08,784.9995 --> 00:29:13,854.9995 There are so many times that we probably were like, Oh, is this, and then, but working through all that. 423 00:29:13,854.9995 --> 00:29:23,354.9985 And then again, what really solidified it was, coming to Christ and having faith that then we both, I think, felt comfortable like, okay, yeah, this, because all those other things were in place. 424 00:29:23,524.9995 --> 00:29:24,894.9995 We had we had fun together. 425 00:29:24,894.9995 --> 00:29:31,784.9995 We saw the world the same, but we didn't have that binding faith, um, to kind of keep us, on the straight track. 426 00:29:32,144.9995 --> 00:29:32,424.9995 Right. 427 00:29:32,454.9995 --> 00:29:39,944.9995 And I know that's to say, like, we have a lot of loved ones that their marriage has ended and no shame or judgment or anything at all. 428 00:29:40,574.9995 --> 00:29:41,734.9995 Um, at all. 429 00:29:41,744.9995 --> 00:29:45,874.9995 Personal, personal experience and personal commitment. 430 00:29:46,114.9995 --> 00:29:47,294.9995 And again, uh, yeah, no. 431 00:29:47,854.9995 --> 00:29:48,454.9995 Judgment. 432 00:29:48,454.9995 --> 00:29:55,794.9995 Again, it was just something as a kid that was certainly, traumatizing to me and to you, enough that we were like, Hmm, no. 433 00:29:56,94.9995 --> 00:29:57,84.9995 Yeah, yeah. 434 00:29:57,84.9995 --> 00:29:59,544.9995 I actually for a long time was like, I'm never getting married. 435 00:29:59,634.9995 --> 00:30:00,474.9995 It doesn't work. 436 00:30:00,534.9995 --> 00:30:02,964.9995 Like I remember I felt that way. 437 00:30:04,134.9995 --> 00:30:06,414.9995 I so, yeah. 438 00:30:06,419.9995 --> 00:30:06,469.9995 Yeah. 439 00:30:06,749.9995 --> 00:30:11,634.9995 I just, I know I got us off track there, but I feel like we worked through a lot of stuff. 440 00:30:12,474.9995 --> 00:30:31,234.9985 Early on, that also helps solidify what we have now, which I would say to if there's anybody young, I mean, not three, listening, that's not married or dating or, you know, in the dating scene or just single. 441 00:30:31,954.9985 --> 00:30:37,214.9985 I do think it's so important to just constantly be seeking your own healing. 442 00:30:38,104.9995 --> 00:30:40,444.9995 which is something I think we've both pursued. 443 00:30:40,814.9995 --> 00:30:59,974.9995 And, um, I think, you know, constantly seeking your own healing throughout your life and helps then when you come together with somebody because you're not relying on them to fill things that they were never supposed to intend, like Phil, that wasn't, they were never theirs. 444 00:31:00,514.9995 --> 00:31:00,664.9995 Right. 445 00:31:00,684.9995 --> 00:31:01,714.9995 They don't complete you. 446 00:31:02,194.9995 --> 00:31:20,74.9995 Again, one of the greatest things that resonates with, I know we've talked about this because when we were going through marriage counseling, our pastor at the time, Jeff Kriusky, when we met with him, I believe the first time made, you know, a pretty profound statement, which was, marriage is not 50 50, um, it's a hundred to a hundred. 447 00:31:20,164.9995 --> 00:31:24,994.9995 And each, each partner just gives everything they can to the other. 448 00:31:25,424.9995 --> 00:31:31,964.9995 And let's everything fall where it might, basically, if you give it all most likely you're going to get it all back. 449 00:31:31,984.9995 --> 00:31:33,504.999 Your partner is going to want to do that too. 450 00:31:33,504.999 --> 00:31:37,419.9995 But if you both try to draw lines of Where is that 50? I'll give it a little bit more. 451 00:31:37,419.9995 --> 00:31:39,439.9995 I mean, that's where it all gets entangled. 452 00:31:40,649.9995 --> 00:31:41,779.9995 It's like a tit for tat. 453 00:31:41,929.9995 --> 00:31:44,9.9995 It's like, well, I did this much this week. 454 00:31:44,229.9985 --> 00:31:49,479.999 How much did you do? And, and giving 100 is going to look different in different seasons. 455 00:31:49,479.999 --> 00:31:50,909.9995 And that's the beauty of it. 456 00:31:50,939.9985 --> 00:31:53,599.9985 I, that's one of the ways I describe our marriage. 457 00:31:53,599.9985 --> 00:31:55,889.9995 It's this beautiful dance of give and take. 458 00:31:56,309.9995 --> 00:32:13,859.9985 And there might be a week where I'm more depleted because of work or the kids, or I'm sick, and, In that week, my hundred percent isn't going to look the same as it does in a week where I'm just full of energy and the calendar's not as full and just things aren't coming at me so much. 459 00:32:13,879.9975 --> 00:32:14,899.9985 And the same for you. 460 00:32:14,909.9985 --> 00:32:22,789.9985 Like if you're traveling or you have a big work project or, you know, maybe your mom's not doing well, you have to get to Fort Wayne. 461 00:32:22,789.9985 --> 00:32:29,719.9985 Like there are certain things that you're 100 percent it's going to look different, but it's not, you're, there's not a measuring stick. 462 00:32:29,719.9985 --> 00:32:30,919.9975 There's not a tallying. 463 00:32:30,929.9985 --> 00:32:31,869.9985 There's not a. 464 00:32:32,694.9985 --> 00:32:39,984.9985 Keeping record of what each person has done and trying to make sure that they're like measuring up. 465 00:32:40,944.9985 --> 00:32:43,544.9985 And it's great because I know that about you. 466 00:32:43,604.9975 --> 00:32:47,974.998 Like I know you give your everything to the family. 467 00:32:47,974.998 --> 00:32:48,684.9985 I'm telling you. 468 00:32:48,704.9975 --> 00:32:49,394.9985 This is the truth. 469 00:32:49,814.9975 --> 00:32:56,474.9985 Anybody that has been around Patrick with me and our children, they say it every time. 470 00:32:57,444.9985 --> 00:33:08,384.9985 He gives everything to our family and it's very, uh, apparent to people and it's, and it's, it's really, it's a gift because I don't think everybody is like that. 471 00:33:08,464.9985 --> 00:33:15,544.9985 Well, no, I definitely agree that it's a gift because it's not, if I was having to, like, Make myself do that. 472 00:33:15,554.9985 --> 00:33:16,924.9985 It would probably last like two days. 473 00:33:18,354.9985 --> 00:33:19,294.9985 It wouldn't stick around. 474 00:33:19,684.9985 --> 00:33:23,334.9985 Um, I will say a couple of things that come to mind is, yeah, I totally agree. 475 00:33:23,334.9985 --> 00:33:25,184.9985 Like the a hundred percent could look different. 476 00:33:25,624.9975 --> 00:33:27,134.9965 It also looks very different. 477 00:33:27,154.9975 --> 00:33:33,574.9975 Like if you notice as a couple, I mean, The way we give 100 percent to each other is very different than another couple is going to give 100%. 478 00:33:33,575.0975 --> 00:33:41,164.9975 Just because what I, what I do and the way we've formed and the things that we do for each other are unique to us. 479 00:33:41,214.9965 --> 00:33:42,574.9965 And, so that's another thing. 480 00:33:42,624.9975 --> 00:33:46,244.9985 I think sometimes people see that and they're like, oh, wait, they should do that or they should do that. 481 00:33:46,284.9985 --> 00:33:57,339.9985 No, it's just, I think if each person in your heart knows you're giving everything you can and taking care of the stuff and watching out and looking out for the feelings and trying to understand your, Your spouse that's where it's at. 482 00:33:57,429.9985 --> 00:34:17,779.9985 Yeah, and while I'm not being afraid to ask for what you need or talk about what's not Working like I feel like there's also a a constant dialogue that's happening Yeah, and then again giving lots of grace for when things don't go quite right because it's not like we have never had We've had these points. 483 00:34:17,779.9985 --> 00:34:21,559.9985 I probably say it's been a handful in the last 10 years. 484 00:34:21,639.9985 --> 00:34:25,854.9985 Yeah, we're Like things get so stressful that somehow we do start keeping it. 485 00:34:26,4.9985 --> 00:34:28,104.9985 It's like, wait, and then we usually have a conversation. 486 00:34:28,214.9985 --> 00:34:30,24.9985 I'm like, no, we're not going to keep. 487 00:34:30,314.9985 --> 00:34:43,604.9975 You know, track, let's just go, but I mean, it's not like we're immune to that, but I think we're really good at moving recognizing, recognizing that, wait, wait, wait, let's not start tracking who's doing what, let's just, you know, each give our own. 488 00:34:43,604.9985 --> 00:34:47,264.997 And it's been tough because our lives are changing to, back to the season of life. 489 00:34:47,264.997 --> 00:34:53,944.997 I mean, we're in a season of life where our kids are all, older and you were at home with them and your primary job was. 490 00:34:54,369.997 --> 00:35:07,969.997 raising them and taking care of the house and now that's shifting and so my 100 percent looks a bit different and it needs to and your 100 percent looks a bit different because you're no longer just giving to the kids or to me, you're giving to a career. 491 00:35:08,359.996 --> 00:35:15,199.996 Um, and so, that goes right to grace, which is, we've encountered points where it's like, you know, you get frustrated, I get frustrated. 492 00:35:15,549.996 --> 00:35:19,399.996 Um, and then we turn around, we just got to give each other grace because we've never been here before. 493 00:35:20,249.996 --> 00:35:34,569.996 Well, that's the biggest thing life is constantly changing and people need to be able to change we need to let the people we love change and We need to let our Circumstances change as they do and not hold tightly. 494 00:35:34,579.996 --> 00:36:01,894.996 I think that's a big thing, too it's just allowing for change and growth and Trying to figure out how to move with life as it's moving and not hold on to what this is how it's always been And this is how we do it Um, that's one of the big reasons at the beginning of the podcast that I talk about people's spiritual habits and practices, because just like you said, with a marriage and family, everybody's different and there are different ways that we connect. 495 00:36:02,384.996 --> 00:36:04,534.996 There are different ways that we meet with the Lord. 496 00:36:04,834.996 --> 00:36:13,84.996 There are different ways we connect in our marriage, given the season with our children, depending on the season, but you have to allow for that flow. 497 00:36:13,944.996 --> 00:36:20,514.996 It's always changing, right? I mean, you get into some nice zones where it's like, Oh, this is pretty stable and we're good. 498 00:36:20,534.996 --> 00:36:22,734.995 But it's changes around the corner. 499 00:36:23,434.996 --> 00:36:24,784.996 And so adaptability. 500 00:36:25,124.996 --> 00:36:26,664.996 And again, grace goes right with that. 501 00:36:26,664.996 --> 00:36:40,64.996 Because, because we, I think whenever something changes, I know for me, just whether it's my anxiety or whatever, like I can approach it with, you know, not necessarily the best attitude, but, um, I've certainly have learned to quickly Absolutely. 502 00:36:40,64.996 --> 00:36:40,74.896 Absolutely. 503 00:36:40,584.996 --> 00:36:47,334.996 Adjust that and figure out what this new situation is going to bring and how I'm going to, act differently. 504 00:36:48,64.995 --> 00:36:48,674.996 I love it. 505 00:36:49,524.995 --> 00:36:56,664.996 So the last question, which we kind of talked, well, maybe we didn't totally talk about this, but this is more digging into the kids. 506 00:36:57,464.996 --> 00:37:03,914.996 What are some of the ways that you think we offer our children grace? Hmm. 507 00:37:06,174.996 --> 00:37:09,154.996 I mean, well, we don't hold obviously. 508 00:37:09,154.996 --> 00:37:11,444.996 I mean, I think most parents do this. 509 00:37:11,444.996 --> 00:37:12,914.996 I mean, we don't certainly don't hold grudges. 510 00:37:12,914.996 --> 00:37:14,854.996 We don't like if they did something the night before. 511 00:37:14,854.996 --> 00:37:17,544.996 We're not continuing to talk about that. 512 00:37:17,544.996 --> 00:37:19,474.996 So I think that's why and you're really good at that. 513 00:37:19,474.996 --> 00:37:20,554.995 I certainly coming into the marriage. 514 00:37:21,59.996 --> 00:37:30,679.996 Was not so good about just leaving everything behind, but, um, you know, in terms of like pulling up old hairs or old issues into a current argument. 515 00:37:30,979.996 --> 00:37:34,979.996 And you've been really good about kind of helping me work through that. 516 00:37:35,339.996 --> 00:37:36,679.995 And so I think we do that with the kids. 517 00:37:36,679.996 --> 00:37:42,339.996 We don't bring up old stuff with them and burden them with things they did, three weeks ago or two months ago. 518 00:37:42,849.996 --> 00:37:48,439.995 So I think we give them grace by, just having a conversation in the moment and then moving on past that. 519 00:37:48,599.996 --> 00:37:49,799.996 to me, that's part of it. 520 00:37:50,9.996 --> 00:37:51,229.996 Yeah, I agree. 521 00:37:51,869.996 --> 00:38:07,749.995 Do you think, too, that, I'm just curious, because I don't know if we've ever talked about this, but do you look at them and, like, kind of remember what it was like to be that age? Do you think that helps? Yeah, it helps, but our lives are so different. 522 00:38:08,319.995 --> 00:38:08,739.995 Yeah. 523 00:38:09,19.995 --> 00:38:10,749.995 I mean, than our kids lives. 524 00:38:11,229.995 --> 00:38:15,809.996 Oh my gosh, they're so different! They're crazy different. 525 00:38:15,809.996 --> 00:38:22,139.996 The stuff that they deal with and the stuff that they have and, and just, and yeah, and, and, and you are right. 526 00:38:22,144.996 --> 00:38:27,569.996 The, the world around them and their world and just maybe that makes us give them more grace sometimes. 527 00:38:27,569.996 --> 00:38:28,534.996 'cause it's, yeah, no, definitely. 528 00:38:28,894.996 --> 00:38:30,334.996 I don't even, can't even begin to know. 529 00:38:31,204.996 --> 00:38:31,494.996 Yeah. 530 00:38:32,699.996 --> 00:38:33,449.996 No, absolutely. 531 00:38:33,449.996 --> 00:38:35,609.996 When it comes to, again, what they're dealing with. 532 00:38:35,969.996 --> 00:38:36,299.996 Yeah. 533 00:38:36,299.996 --> 00:38:42,479.996 Online or social media or at school, it's, it's a, yeah, a lot of it we don't recognize it. 534 00:38:42,509.996 --> 00:38:49,289.996 But I think continuing to forgive, try to understand what they're going through. 535 00:38:49,619.996 --> 00:39:07,789.995 Um, and again, they don't have the same experiences that we were having back again in the nineties when things were, I mean, I, you know, so my son, carefree time, wasn't it? So Patrick, he's in sixth grade and we were talking about things and I was just thinking about like how he lives his life mostly. 536 00:39:07,810.095 --> 00:39:13,889.995 I mean, he goes outside, but he's inside, he goes to a friend's house, they play inside, and I just think, but he's always somewhere. 537 00:39:14,449.995 --> 00:39:18,49.994 And I was, when I was in 6th grade, I was nowhere. 538 00:39:18,249.995 --> 00:39:22,479.995 I was riding my bike in parks, and I was never home, I was never really at a house. 539 00:39:22,479.995 --> 00:39:23,909.995 I was always just Drinking skug. 540 00:39:24,219.995 --> 00:39:24,729.996 No, no, no. 541 00:39:24,749.996 --> 00:39:26,354.995 I was not drinking any skug. 542 00:39:26,354.995 --> 00:39:27,849.995 In 6th grade. 543 00:39:28,959.995 --> 00:39:32,169.995 I learned, Jen, but um But I was never home. 544 00:39:32,449.995 --> 00:39:36,599.995 Um, I mean, you know, I would be out with my buddies and so it's just that dynamic. 545 00:39:36,599.995 --> 00:39:38,729.995 You were causing trouble in New Haven, Indiana. 546 00:39:38,779.995 --> 00:39:39,659.994 Not in 6th grade, yeah. 547 00:39:39,979.994 --> 00:39:43,729.9945 Um, but I wasn't, I wasn't being watched. 548 00:39:43,779.9945 --> 00:39:46,29.9955 My time was with my friends, my influence. 549 00:39:46,229.9955 --> 00:39:46,569.9955 Yeah. 550 00:39:46,589.9955 --> 00:39:47,969.9955 Was much more with my friends. 551 00:39:48,369.9955 --> 00:39:51,69.9955 Um, and again, our kids, they don't have as much of that. 552 00:39:51,119.9955 --> 00:39:53,329.9955 I think all kids today have a bit different life. 553 00:39:53,339.9955 --> 00:39:57,109.9945 They're not just roaming the streets like, like we were. 554 00:39:57,149.9945 --> 00:39:57,589.9945 Um. 555 00:39:57,599.9955 --> 00:39:59,29.9955 Maybe they should be though. 556 00:39:59,634.9955 --> 00:40:01,944.9955 Okay, we need to get them out there roaming the streets more. 557 00:40:01,945.0955 --> 00:40:03,714.9955 We have to take away phones, Jen. 558 00:40:04,224.9955 --> 00:40:05,124.9955 Well, yeah. 559 00:40:05,424.9955 --> 00:40:07,134.9955 We have the digital detox coming up. 560 00:40:07,134.9955 --> 00:40:09,214.9955 You're super excited about that. 561 00:40:09,284.9955 --> 00:40:16,564.9945 Our church does a digital detox, um, in May, which has been really great for our family, but The kids don't love it. 562 00:40:16,564.9945 --> 00:40:17,244.9955 They don't love it. 563 00:40:17,394.9945 --> 00:40:19,404.9945 They're not, they're not so excited about that. 564 00:40:19,404.9945 --> 00:40:23,824.9945 When they're older, they'll love that they have different skill sets from Yeah, from that time. 565 00:40:25,104.9955 --> 00:40:35,995.8766818 Well, Patrick, is there anything else before we close, uh, before we give our cliffhanger? Because you will be on again, so we're just gonna I'm a repeat guest? Yeah, we already talked about that last time. 566 00:40:35,995.8766818 --> 00:40:39,834.9945 Because remember, you were like, right out of the gate, you were like, well, maybe next time. 567 00:40:39,835.0945 --> 00:40:41,874.9945 And that's when I realized mentally, like, oh. 568 00:40:42,64.9955 --> 00:40:43,924.995 It was like days ago, I've forgotten that already. 569 00:40:43,924.995 --> 00:40:48,484.9955 Uh, well, you're, yeah, you're like, you're my guest, like, maybe every other week. 570 00:40:49,59.9955 --> 00:40:52,879.9955 Maybe we can do this together and interview people, love it, and we can interview people. 571 00:40:53,69.9955 --> 00:40:53,609.9955 That's so fun. 572 00:40:53,899.9955 --> 00:40:56,319.9955 And just ask them like off the wall questions. 573 00:40:56,579.9955 --> 00:40:56,899.9955 Maybe. 574 00:40:57,79.9955 --> 00:40:58,969.9945 We'll, we'll workshop that. 575 00:40:59,29.9955 --> 00:40:59,169.9955 Yeah. 576 00:41:01,239.9955 --> 00:41:11,564.9955 Okay, so is there anything else that you want to say before we close about grace and parenting and marriage? Anything that you can think of? No, but you just tapped my leg like you want me to say something. 577 00:41:11,564.9955 --> 00:41:12,72.5705 No, no, no. 578 00:41:12,72.5705 --> 00:41:14,154.8955 I didn't mean to tap your leg. 579 00:41:14,154.9955 --> 00:41:16,358.7270789 I thought that was a signal that, like, I better have something. 580 00:41:16,358.7270789 --> 00:41:19,644.8955 I was, I was grabbing onto the end of the, I was grabbing this. 581 00:41:19,644.9955 --> 00:41:22,184.9955 I thought it was a sign that, uh, I better have something deep. 582 00:41:23,454.9945 --> 00:41:26,824.9955 To say, um, no, thank you, Jen, for having me on. 583 00:41:26,874.9945 --> 00:41:27,344.9945 Seriously. 584 00:41:27,444.9945 --> 00:41:27,904.9965 You're welcome. 585 00:41:27,924.9945 --> 00:41:33,809.9955 Um, it's a privilege to be on here and to be talking to your audience and, uh, It's a privilege to be married to you, frankly. 586 00:41:33,859.9955 --> 00:41:35,839.9955 Aww, that's the sweetest. 587 00:41:36,189.9955 --> 00:41:41,759.9955 It's a privilege to be married to you and thank you for your, my cat's right here now, thank you for your um, willingness to do this. 588 00:41:41,779.9955 --> 00:41:45,219.9955 Because I know you, we talked about it being a bit out of your comfort zone. 589 00:41:45,239.9955 --> 00:41:46,519.9955 So I'm really grateful. 590 00:41:46,689.9955 --> 00:41:47,979.9945 Yeah, I don't love being on camera. 591 00:41:48,119.9955 --> 00:41:52,129.9955 But well, you've done a great job and you're so cute and people can see how cute you are. 592 00:41:53,239.9955 --> 00:42:01,239.9955 Okay, so what's our cliffhanger gonna be for the next time? Probably should have come up with that, that's a good question. 593 00:42:01,669.9955 --> 00:42:19,244.9955 Let's see, how about if you could travel to any place during any period of time, where would you go and when, like what time period? Okay. 594 00:42:19,344.9955 --> 00:42:20,704.9955 Can it be in the future? Yeah. 595 00:42:20,705.0955 --> 00:42:21,384.8955 Okay. 596 00:42:21,384.9955 --> 00:42:21,854.9955 For sure. 597 00:42:21,894.9955 --> 00:42:28,4.9955 Like any, like it is like any time period if you could go and why, why would you choose that? Okay. 598 00:42:28,314.9955 --> 00:42:34,704.9955 Folks, who knows when we'll get back to this one, but it'll, it's, you're going to find that out at some point. 599 00:42:34,854.9955 --> 00:42:35,824.995 Thanks for being here. 600 00:42:35,824.995 --> 00:42:36,244.9945 Friends. 601 00:42:36,244.9945 --> 00:42:37,444.9945 We appreciate you. 602 00:42:37,754.9945 --> 00:42:40,974.9955 Thanks for tuning in to the return to Jesus podcast. 603 00:42:41,24.9955 --> 00:42:44,54.9955 And I look forward to talking to you again next week. 604 00:42:45,594.9955 --> 00:42:45,834.9945 Bye everybody. 605 00:42:47,834.9945 --> 00:42:51,184.9945 I'm excited to share with you that I have written a book. 606 00:42:51,489.9945 --> 00:42:58,529.9945 Titled Return to Jesus, an invitation to abide with him in every beautiful, stressful, or tedious moment. 607 00:42:58,599.9945 --> 00:43:10,539.9935 It is a dream come true, and I could not be more thrilled to share with you that this book is available online at stores such as Target, Walmart, Amazon, Christian Books, and more. 608 00:43:11,379.9935 --> 00:43:17,219.9945 The book will be available on April 15th, 2025 to purchase in store as well. 609 00:43:17,804.9945 --> 00:43:20,344.9945 And I just really appreciate your support. 610 00:43:20,404.9945 --> 00:43:22,74.9945 It means the world to me. 611 00:43:22,744.9945 --> 00:43:24,854.9945 I could not do this without you. 612 00:43:25,524.9945 --> 00:43:28,664.9945 And I'm just so very grateful. 613 00:43:28,794.9935 --> 00:43:30,664.9945 So be sure to grab your copy today. 614 00:43:30,734.9945 --> 00:43:38,124.9945 Again, it's Return to Jesus, an invitation to abide with Him in every beautiful, stressful, or tedious moment.
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