September 11, 2024 • 25 mins
In the inaugural episode of Revelizations follow Brian in this four part mini series as he explains what is a Revelization while detailing his journey to hosting his own podcast. From inception to more inception to even more inception to finally fruition. Thanks and let's get into it, or maybe we should give it more thought. Don't want to be too hasty. No, definitely let's start, or maybe...
Enjoying Revelizations and don't know what to do next? Let me offer a suggestion: Grab a device capable of playing a podcast along with some earbuds, turn on an episode of Revelizations, place the earbuds in the ears of your loved ones, and watch with joy as they thank you endlessly for introducing them to the Revelizations podcast. While you're at it feel free to leave a review on whatever platform you're listening to this podcast and follow/subscribe so you never miss an episode.
Not enjoying Revelizations and don't know what you do next? Let me offer a suggestion: Grab your loudest portable speaker capable of pairing with a device that can play a podcast, go to a densely populated area with great acoustics, turn on an episode of Revelizations, crank up the volume, and laugh manically as the unsuspecting population looks around in confusion and bliss to the situation they are in. While you're at it feel free to leave a review on whatever platform you're forcing everyone to listen to the Revelizations podcast and follow/subscribe so you don't miss these types of opportunities in the future.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:04):
Welcome.
I am your host,
Brian James,
and this
is the Revelizations
Podcast.
Well what in tarnation
(00:27):
Revelizations?
Sounds made up!
Yes, it is.
Just as made up
as every other word in existence from now to eternity,
but let's not get too esoteric right out of the gate.
Instead,
let's look
At what is
the Revelizations podcast.
Revelizations is a podcast hosted by me,
Brian James
(00:47):
sound familiar?
The format of this podcast will be conversational in nature talking with people who hold knowledge that I would like to know more about
And are willing to share it with me.
With us.
Topics such as living of fulfilling life,
social media and its impact on society,
Cybersecurity, artificial intelligence, nutrition, protecting democracy, different economic models to structure
(01:09):
society around, cognitive fallacies, and much more
with no real agenda
other than to learn more about the world that we live in.
Occasionally I may sprinkle in thoughts and insights that I find profound that are worth sharing
For example, these first few episodes
where I will talk about my journey to hosting my own podcast
I think one of the best ways to learn a lesson is learning through someone else's experience.
(01:33):
Especially when it's a hard lesson
that you can avoid.
I get it though.
Sometimes
You have
to touch the stove.
People can tell you all day
that the stove is hot
And will burn you if you touch it
but is it really?
Then tsss you touch it and you get burned.
Id like for you to avoid touching this metaphorical
hot stove.
By going through my experience of me having a dream and for whatever reason doing my best to not let myself attain that dream.
(02:00):
No harder pill to swallow
than time wasted.
This podcast
has been a long time coming.
So long that I had my doubts if it would even arrive.
These first few episodes you may find yourself getting frustrated.
Why can't this guy just do what he wants to do?
What does he have to add so many unnecessary steps?
I wish I knew.
(02:21):
It's a Revelizations my therapist hopes I never figure out.
He still has two kids to get
through college.
My Hope in exhaustively walking through these last few years
Yes, years
of getting my podcast released
is that it stirs something in you.
You see a bit of me in you.
That goal that you have for yourself that has been pushed back so many times
(02:43):
I just can't.
I'm too busy.
Maybe youre procrastinating because you're so mentally taxed from work
you need to get home and unplug.
Like me, you need to see what kind of shenanigans Michael Scott gets into this episode even though you can already quote
the episode with 97% accuracy.
We find ourselves in these routines and busy seasons that make life grey and predictable.
(03:05):
Like if nothing is changing or could ever change.
It isn't until you look at your phone that you see,
What? It's already March?
I haven't even taken down my Christmas tree yet.
Or you run into an old friend randomly and you get to chatting trying to think
when was the last time we saw each other.
Wasn't it at Jessica's party?
(03:26):
No that couldnt have been it.
Wow.
Was that really
5 years ago?
You get these interruptions in your routine and the spell gets broken
You're no longer sleepwalking
This moment of lucidity hits you
and you take stock
how much time has passed since the last time you've awoken.
Is life Passing me by?
You look back and realize
(03:47):
how short life really is.
That time only moves in one direction.
It's in that spirit that I hope to wake you up.
To hear a how silly it is
to want to do something and get in your own way repeatedly
To get so frustrated by my procrastination it launches you to action.
Maybe to let yourself dream of what you want your future to be
(04:07):
Perhaps to get you to begin
that thousand-mile journey that has been too overwhelming to start.
All the while
hopefully peppering in some laughs along the way.
With that,
Let's officially begin with episode 1:
A journey of a Thousand Miles begins with a million excuses
to not make it.
For me my journey started before I even knew I was on the path.
(04:29):
In the not-too-distant past
I was a delivery driver,
and the delivery route that I was assigned to was in the boonies.
It was a rural area where sometimes I would drive an hour in between one delivery to the next.
The vehicle I used didn't have a radio
or any outlets to plug in a portable radio
This left me with only a few options,
silence
(04:49):
or the music I had on my phone.
I am a Spicer
through and through
However, the Spice Girls and their unlimited girl power do have a limited discography.
Plus, I don't think I ever truly processed their break
It's still too raw for me.
But I've been told
when trying to woo someone new to not unload the crazy all at once.
Little glimpses
So the red flags are harder to notice and not blaring sirens.
(05:14):
Isnt this a podcast about how you started your own podcast?
Not about
Oh, let me count the ways in which you seem like the type of person I would avoid if I saw you out in public
Yes.
Plenty of time in the future for lunatic ramblings.
Let's not make this one of those times.
Thanks for keeping me honest.
How did I go from a clueless luddite to a host of my own podcast?
(05:35):
It's a windy road when it could have been a straight short trip.
It started like how many new things start for me.
I have a conversation with someone, they start describing something I know nothing about, using words I have no previous association with
and I pretend like I know so I don't look like a dummy.
This time it was the word podcast.
I got from the context of the conversation that a podcast was a sort of broadcast that you get on your computer and download it
(05:59):
to your phone.
The means in by which how you get it to your phone?
At this point I would assume by black magic.
Doing research, I can confirm that the amount of blood sacrifices involved in getting a podcast onto your computer and then your
your phone is minimal. Not zero, but a very reasonable amount.
Look who I'm talking to though. If you're listening to this then you too are familiar with the dark arts. But lo good
(06:22):
news with further probing I found out that one can circumvent all
the blood
if you download the podcast app to your phone.
So I did and I would recommend you do the same if you haven't.
It's really helped me and my anemia problem.
Still not knowing this new world I was starting to explore. I asked a friend for some podcast recommendations.
He gave me a few good speakers to listen to like Matt Chandler of The Village and Levi Lusko of Fresh Life.
(06:46):
These guys would come out with a podcast a week.
It didn't take me long to burn through the backlog catalog which whet my appetite
for what other content I could find.
From there I found the Myths and Legends podcast with Jason and Carissa Weiser and that was it.
I was hooked.
A new medium of entertainment was unlocked for me.
The floodgates have been completely opened and outflowed
(07:07):
anything
I could ever want to learn
about everything.
The breadth of knowledge that podcast offered
Was limitless.
I sampled a lot of podcasts
and found as time went on I stuck with a few staples
like The Daily with Michael Barbaro for news
For in-depth dives into various
topics I enjoyed Stuff You Should know with Josh Clark and Charles W Bryant who are wrangled by their producer Jerry Rowland,
(07:30):
The Joe Rogan Experience for randomness and laughs.
These were my regular tune ins. Still the list continues with You Made It Weird with
Pete Holmes, Dan Carlin's Hardcore History, Lore with Aaron Mankey,
Id10t with Chris Hardwick, The Tim Ferriss Show, Making Sense with Sam Harris, Ben Shapiro, Impact
A Vox production, Getting Curious with Jonathan Van Ness,
(07:51):
Conversations with people who hate me with Dylan Marron, and of course, the original podcast for me that changed my understanding of
of what a podcast could be,
The Myths and Legends podcast with Jason and Carissa Weiser.
Maybe you take issue with some
if not all of the podcast that I listen to
And it's cool.
I do too.
I don't always agree with everyone's opinions at all times.
(08:13):
That's okay.
I think there is merit in listening to people you don't always agree with
Or even have opinions that are fundamentally opposed to your own.
Just let you see how well thought out your own beliefs are.
To test if the ideas you hold true are structurally sound when put under pressure.
A few years back I went to a comedy show with my wife, Dana
And a friend
Zach to go see Pete Holmes.
(08:34):
While at the show
Pete Holmes said that when we,
the audience, look back at the show we won't necessarily remember what was said
But we will remember the feelings we felt.
The happiness to be with the ones you love in a room full of strangers
blowing the place up with laughter
as the comedian
hurls perfectly crafted jokes at your face.
And it's true.
(08:55):
Because I don't remember the jokes that he told specifically.
What I remember is my wife and I trying to get a sip of water in between jokes without spitting it out.
What I remember is Zach
looking on at Pete Holmes like a sommelier would a rare wine set out in front of him.
The sommelier takes his time.
First, gently swirling the wine around in its glass,
(09:17):
Nose, inches above,
all the while taking deep breaths in
picking up on all the subtle notes that it has to offer
before it's even touched his lips.
Examining all the nuanced components individually to get a better understanding of what makes the wine wholly unique. As did Zach.
He was a student going to class and paying close attention to a master sharing his craft.
(09:38):
I remember all of us wiping tears from our eyes as we laughed so hard we couldn't breathe.
I remember joy.
In the same way with the hundreds of podcasts I've listened to over the years, I don't remember every word that was said.
In this case I remember the feeling it evoked in me.
I remember
being inspired.
I was listening to a lot of different podcasts.
The common thread that all of them had in common was that they all had motivational components that resonated with me.
(10:04):
Weather offhandedly, tangentially, or explicitly,
these podcasts would stir up a desire of wanting more for my life.
While I was fulfilled with podcasts I was left feeling empty from my job.
Delivering impulse buys of diapers and kitty litter wasn't as rewarding as one would want it to be.
While I was listening to podcasts I was transported to conversations with friends in living rooms
(10:26):
joking about whatever stream of conscious would be brought to their minds,
Id be on the battlefield with King Arthur,
I'd be in the Senate listening to a heated debate on the merits of a proposed bill, or observing the origins of the universe.
And then Id hit pause
to be ripped from those moments and placed back in my own.
There I would be rummaging through my delivery vehicle looking for the package for the address where I was.
(10:49):
Left feeling trapped,
Empty, wondering where to apply those brief moments of inspiration that podcasts gifted me.
I was a delivery driver, but I was lost.
Why yes, I do enjoy bands like My Chemical Romance, Taking Back Sunday and others of the emo genre.
Why do you ask?
So, let's get skip back the track to a little before this current ballad
(11:09):
of teenage angst mixed with midlife crisis vibes.
This next part might get a little confusing
since life never comes at you one event at a time.
There are always multiple things going on at once.
I'll probably make it seem more confusing than it needs to be.
Bear with me.
Before I became a delivery driver my path in life was set.
I was going to become a firefighter.
(11:30):
This surprised a lot of people who knew me well.
I wouldn't go as far as to describe myself as a germaphobe,
but they would.
Ill relent to say that I have a healthy respect for the wide category of germs and yuckiness.
Ill also admit that I had my concerns too.
Despite all of this
I spent a year getting a few emergency medical technician licenses.
(11:52):
Which would in turn make me more of an ideal candidate
as a firefighter recruit.
In the program
where I got my EMT, emergency medical technician licenses,
there was a requirement to spend a certain number of shifts at a hospital where you would put to practice the skills you learned throughout the
EMT courses.
There was a specific instance that put to rest any reservations I had about whether or not I could put aside my own neurosis
(12:16):
to pursue my firefighting ambitions.
All I say about the event
was that I spent a good amount of time one evening
with a nurse and a fellow EMT student helping an individual
who had many health concerns.
The most blaring was being afflicted with
maggots.
Many maggots
in and on his body.
It was an unforgettable night
(12:36):
and it gave me a newfound respect for the healthcare providers
and the vast scope of duties that encompasses
that profession.
Fast forward a skosh
and after getting my EMT
licenses I was hired on by an ambulance company.
All the while this was happening
I was in the earliest stages of the hiring process
of becoming a firefighter.
To become a firefighter there are multiple hurdles to get through.
(12:59):
There is a written test,
a physical test,
a panel interview
with three interviewers, another interview with a fire chief,
a polygraph test,
a drug test,
a background check,
and there may be more
but that's all I can remember about the process
at this time.
I was at the point
where I had passed the written test, the physical test,
I did my panel interview, and I was waiting to hear about when I would be scheduling my
(13:20):
next interview with a fire chief.
Even though I was waiting to hear back,
I wasn't standing still.
I had my licensure and a couple of EMT positions where I was getting on the job experience.
The first was with a local medical services company that was hired for special events.
Like concerts,
conventions, and marathons.
If some sort of medical emergency would occur at the event,
(13:41):
I would be the first to apply medical treatment and make the call if the patient needed to be transported to the hospital, or whether the
patient could be
just patched up and sent on his or her way.
With this position I would not be responsible for transporting the patient to a greater level of care.
For example, a hospital.
The other EMT position I held
was more of what I think of when I hear EMT.
(14:02):
I worked on an ambulance.
Someone would call 911, or if you live in a country with a different emergency number you would dial that and get in contact with an
operator who would then dispatch an ambulance to the location of the emergency.
If the crew I was on was the closest ambulance to the
emergency then I would show up at the scene and help perform first-aid.
I was a special event EMT for 4 months before I got hired on to the ambulance company.
(14:27):
During that time, it was pretty uneventful.
Not too much happened.
Maybe a Band-Aid here and there at a running event or giving someone directions to find a bathroom in a convention center.
My path wasn't really tested until I got on as an EMT
with an ambulance company responding to 911 calls.
The city where I live wasn't really a city with a lot of fire related calls.
(14:47):
Instead, it was mostly medical calls that firefighters
would respond to
car accident,
heart attack, stroke
broken bones and the like.
Which ties to my earlier point why it was important for me to show initiative to get my EMT licenses and start applying those skills
in real life emergencies.
Broadly, it's better to hire someone with a foundation rather than training someone up from scratch.
(15:08):
I was building my foundation.
The experiences I was having with the ambulance company were more closely mirroring what my prospected firefighting career was going to look
look like more so than the previous few months
of being an event EMT.
Instead of feeling like I had arrived
to my life's calling,
I felt resistance.
It was alarming.
I wasn't a firefighter yet,
(15:28):
but I had already taken it on as my identity.
Over the year plus time I was pursuing this career,
I built the foundation of who I am on this noble pursuit of becoming a firefighter.
Everyone, friends,
family,
the person I was dating,
her family, passerbys
all knew me as a person who is aspiring to be a firefighter.
Oh, what a selfless career I had chosen for myself.
(15:51):
To be a person who intervenes in people's worst moments
and offer hope.
To sacrifice my own safety for the wellness of others.
These are beliefs I held about becoming a firefighter.
Beliefs I kind of absorbed into my own personal identity.
And these are beliefs I still hold to be true about the firefighting
Occupation.
I imagine you see where I'm going with all this.
Rather than feelings of confirmation I felt distress when getting a glimpse of a job that I put on a pedestal.
(16:16):
I didn't dislike it.
I hated it.
It wasn't the blood and guts that
bothered me. It was something else entirely I didn't think to prepare myself for.
An example that always sticks out to me was a call I went out to for an elderly lady in her eighties that was having heart issues.
After getting her loaded into the ambulance with her husband in tow we continued asking her questions about her health history.
(16:38):
This is standard operating procedure so that when you drop off the patient to the hospital the receiving nurse has preliminary information about why the
patient is being brought to the hospital.
Basic medical history and other pertinent information to this specific
medical episode.
The patient was on the stretcher facing the back door.
My partner and I were on her left.
Her husband was seated on another
(16:58):
bench behind her head.
The patient was in stable condition coherently explaining her very long medical history.
This wasn't an out of the blue medical episode she was experiencing.
Her health had,
for a while, been deteriorating.
As she is listing everything wrong with her
I see her husband cup his hands over his
face and begin to cry.
(17:19):
You don't really think about it in the moment because you have a job to do.
It's only after when you revisit the memory. You think about the
old couple who have lived decades together.
Possibly living more time married
than as separate individuals.
An old couple who knows that barring any unforeseen event,
one of them is quickly reaching the end of their life.
(17:40):
She is going to die soon
and the husband will be left
without her.
When their whole relationship they have been able to support each other.
Now she will be gone.
Time has no sympathy to give him a moment
to grieve.
Still he has
to carry on and navigate
what's left of his world
without who was once his world.
When you work for an ambulance company you rarely get to see the outcome of the patients you bring to the hospital.
(18:04):
You get a call,
stabilize the patient the best you can,
transport them to the hospital, debrief with the staff, and post up for your next call.
Not every call is life and death, but the ones that are, not knowing what happened to the patient
can be heavier than knowing.
The patients get left in your conscious
With this sort of Schrodinger's cat existence. Where they are both alive and dead.
(18:24):
A thought you were left to reconcile.
In order to be competent at your job as a healthcare provider
there's a layer of callus that
you have to develop.
This doesn't mean you need to become an unfeeling or uncaring person.
The best Healthcare professionals balance compassion with treating their patients with a level of care that they would want another
care provider to be giving to their own family members.
(18:46):
All the while protecting their own hearts from becoming too attached.
Is a tricky balancing game,
but you can't live and die with each one of your patients.
Otherwise, you'll become depressed and unable to perform your job, or on the other side, you'll become too removed and not give your patients
the proper level of care they deserve.
I wasn't able to separate myself from the patents fast enough.
(19:06):
It weighed on me.
I already have a natural bend for
Depression. I think about death what I would imagine is slightly more than the
average person.
Not suicide.
Just the inevitability of it.
My time where I worked for an ambulance company as an EMT felt like a lifetime.
It was only a month,
but it was all I could take.
Becoming a firefighter is what I had laser focus on for so long.
(19:30):
This wasn't just a career.
This was the blueprint
that I was building my future with.
It was a burdensome decision as I called my supervisor to put in my two weeks notice.
He was understanding
that this job isn't for everyone.
No hard feelings and no notice necessary.
He graciously let me end my employment
when the phone conversation
concluded.
What made that phone call hard was I wasn't just quitting being an EMT.
(19:54):
I was quitting all of what I knew
that was certain about my future.
The emergency medical system where I lived was predominantly medical calls.
There is no such thing as a county firefighter who exclusively responds to one type of call.
Whether it's a medical emergency or a fire emergency.
You respond to it all.
Literally I was ending my employment
(20:14):
with that company
as an EMT.
Symbolically I was closing the door
of my future as a firefighter.
Unfortunately,
that one phone call wasn't magically forwarded to everyone important in my life.
To everyone that was helping me along in this journey.
I was being helped by my dad who knew a few firefighters.
Not just firefighters
but chiefs of stations
(20:34):
and the chief
of the county where I lived.
I was being helped by a community
to reach my dream.
I still had to show up, put in the work,
learn the information,
but my path was illuminated by my dad and his old friends.
As hard as that phone call was to end my employment as an EMT
It was a piece of cake
compared to what was next.
I felt shame,
and still due to an extent,
(20:56):
about abandoning
that career.
It was what I knew to be true about myself.
I was going to be a firefighter.
It was something that not only I invested in and sacrificed for,
but people around me did too.
I had to go to all of them now and tell them
I was done.
It was humbling and humiliating.
It even damaged some relationships.
(21:16):
I felt like I didn't have any value left to offer.
I was left with this persistent question with no answers.
The timing only added insult to injury.
I proposed recently.
Now what kind of future am I going to provide for my fianc?
Further, what will her successful family think of me?
What does my family think of me?
My friends?
What am I going to do?
(21:37):
What's next?
My one's clear path disappeared.
The future that I envisioned vaporized.
All that was left
was one isolated paver for me to build
a whole new future with.
Fortuitously for me I stayed working for the delivery company this whole time as a part-time employee.
As much bad as I have to say about this company,
it was a great job to have while you pursued other ambitions
(21:59):
since the hours you worked were very limited.
A way I used to describe this part-time delivery job was that it was a dream killer.
Many people came to work for this company as a temporary means to an end.
This job would pay the bills
while other ambitions
were pursued.
Eventually though,
the roles would switch.
The job would take priority and the person's dreams
would be placed on hold.
(22:20):
Usually to never
be picked up again.
It sounds dramatic,
but I heard this story many times
by many different authors.
I'm not saying this to put any of them down.
It's just how life went.
They had families to provide for and needed healthcare needed something steady and so on.
This was the
path of least resistance.
It wasn't until later that I heard an even better descriptor
(22:42):
for this job.
He described working for this company as
just good enough.
That was it!
This job was just good enough
to pay the bills
offer an average level of income
and keep you complacent.
This is now what I was choosing
for myself.
I was getting married in a few months.
I wasnt only going to be providing for myself anymore.
As a part-time job working for the delivery company this wasn't going to provide much more than relational turmoil.
(23:08):
I eventually transferred with the company to a full-time position.
I took the same vehicle on a different path
to get to the same destination
as many of my peers.
There I was
in my just good enough job
treading water wondering
if this is it for me.
And there we have it
Episode 1 in the books.
(23:29):
It's a little heavier so I would like to close it out with some levity.
The format I choose is one of
I'm receiving a Lifetime Achievement Award and my goodness there are so many people to thank.
Honestly,
this is so unexpected and it's an honor just to be nominated.
First, I'd like to thank my agent for believing in me and giving me the roles I've had in my career
leading me now to be on the stage in front of you beautiful people.
(23:53):
Don't be modest you know you are.
My wife for being an unwavering pillar of belief and support.
She has gently encouraged me all along while patiently living out all of my stops and starts to this project.
My parents for
always believing in their curly bunny.
Also, for them not being content with my older brother and wanting another child
(24:16):
to finally making them proud. I tease.
If there ever was a personification for the phrase, Why can't you be more like your brother?
My brother would be it.
And no my parents have never said that to me, but
maybe they should have since one of their child's biggest ambitions was to record some words and have strangers listen to them?
My brother and his family for their love
but most importantly their Disney+ membership.
(24:38):
My wife's family and all of their support.
My friends for giving me a break from reality to deeply laugh.
Lastly, to the listener and future listeners.
For giving me a chance
providing a place for my dreams and crazed rantings to land.
Know that as much as I could try, I would never be able to fully put the words
(24:58):
my appreciation
for you all.
Thanks for listening everyone. I'll see you on the next episode of Revelizations where we will continue my journey to podcasting.
Welcome.
I am your host,
Brian James,
and this
is the Revelizations
Podcast.
Well what in tarnation
(00:27):
Revelizations?
Sounds made up!
Yes, it is.
Just as made up
as every other word in existence from now to eternity,
but let's not get too esoteric right out of the gate.
Instead,
let's look
At what is
the Revelizations podcast.
Revelizations is a podcast hosted by me,
Brian James
(00:47):
sound familiar?
The format of this podcast will be conversational in nature talking with people who hold knowledge that I would like to know more about
And are willing to share it with me.
With us.
Topics such as living of fulfilling life,
social media and its impact on society,
Cybersecurity, artificial intelligence, nutrition, protecting democracy, different economic models to structure
(01:09):
society around, cognitive fallacies, and much more
with no real agenda
other than to learn more about the world that we live in.
Occasionally I may sprinkle in thoughts and insights that I find profound that are worth sharing
For example, these first few episodes
where I will talk about my journey to hosting my own podcast
I think one of the best ways to learn a lesson is learning through someone else's experience.
(01:33):
Especially when it's a hard lesson
that you can avoid.
I get it though.
Sometimes
You have
to touch the stove.
People can tell you all day
that the stove is hot
And will burn you if you touch it
but is it really?
Then tsss you touch it and you get burned.
Id like for you to avoid touching this metaphorical
hot stove.
By going through my experience of me having a dream and for whatever reason doing my best to not let myself attain that dream.
(02:00):
No harder pill to swallow
than time wasted.
This podcast
has been a long time coming.
So long that I had my doubts if it would even arrive.
These first few episodes you may find yourself getting frustrated.
Why can't this guy just do what he wants to do?
What does he have to add so many unnecessary steps?
I wish I knew.
(02:21):
It's a Revelizations my therapist hopes I never figure out.
He still has two kids to get
through college.
My Hope in exhaustively walking through these last few years
Yes, years
of getting my podcast released
is that it stirs something in you.
You see a bit of me in you.
That goal that you have for yourself that has been pushed back so many times
(02:43):
I just can't.
I'm too busy.
Maybe youre procrastinating because you're so mentally taxed from work
you need to get home and unplug.
Like me, you need to see what kind of shenanigans Michael Scott gets into this episode even though you can already quote
the episode with 97% accuracy.
We find ourselves in these routines and busy seasons that make life grey and predictable.
(03:05):
Like if nothing is changing or could ever change.
It isn't until you look at your phone that you see,
What? It's already March?
I haven't even taken down my Christmas tree yet.
Or you run into an old friend randomly and you get to chatting trying to think
when was the last time we saw each other.
Wasn't it at Jessica's party?
(03:26):
No that couldnt have been it.
Wow.
Was that really
5 years ago?
You get these interruptions in your routine and the spell gets broken
You're no longer sleepwalking
This moment of lucidity hits you
and you take stock
how much time has passed since the last time you've awoken.
Is life Passing me by?
You look back and realize
(03:47):
how short life really is.
That time only moves in one direction.
It's in that spirit that I hope to wake you up.
To hear a how silly it is
to want to do something and get in your own way repeatedly
To get so frustrated by my procrastination it launches you to action.
Maybe to let yourself dream of what you want your future to be
(04:07):
Perhaps to get you to begin
that thousand-mile journey that has been too overwhelming to start.
All the while
hopefully peppering in some laughs along the way.
With that,
Let's officially begin with episode 1:
A journey of a Thousand Miles begins with a million excuses
to not make it.
For me my journey started before I even knew I was on the path.
(04:29):
In the not-too-distant past
I was a delivery driver,
and the delivery route that I was assigned to was in the boonies.
It was a rural area where sometimes I would drive an hour in between one delivery to the next.
The vehicle I used didn't have a radio
or any outlets to plug in a portable radio
This left me with only a few options,
silence
(04:49):
or the music I had on my phone.
I am a Spicer
through and through
However, the Spice Girls and their unlimited girl power do have a limited discography.
Plus, I don't think I ever truly processed their break
It's still too raw for me.
But I've been told
when trying to woo someone new to not unload the crazy all at once.
Little glimpses
So the red flags are harder to notice and not blaring sirens.
(05:14):
Isnt this a podcast about how you started your own podcast?
Not about
Oh, let me count the ways in which you seem like the type of person I would avoid if I saw you out in public
Yes.
Plenty of time in the future for lunatic ramblings.
Let's not make this one of those times.
Thanks for keeping me honest.
How did I go from a clueless luddite to a host of my own podcast?
(05:35):
It's a windy road when it could have been a straight short trip.
It started like how many new things start for me.
I have a conversation with someone, they start describing something I know nothing about, using words I have no previous association with
and I pretend like I know so I don't look like a dummy.
This time it was the word podcast.
I got from the context of the conversation that a podcast was a sort of broadcast that you get on your computer and download it
(05:59):
to your phone.
The means in by which how you get it to your phone?
At this point I would assume by black magic.
Doing research, I can confirm that the amount of blood sacrifices involved in getting a podcast onto your computer and then your
your phone is minimal. Not zero, but a very reasonable amount.
Look who I'm talking to though. If you're listening to this then you too are familiar with the dark arts. But lo good
(06:22):
news with further probing I found out that one can circumvent all
the blood
if you download the podcast app to your phone.
So I did and I would recommend you do the same if you haven't.
It's really helped me and my anemia problem.
Still not knowing this new world I was starting to explore. I asked a friend for some podcast recommendations.
He gave me a few good speakers to listen to like Matt Chandler of The Village and Levi Lusko of Fresh Life.
(06:46):
These guys would come out with a podcast a week.
It didn't take me long to burn through the backlog catalog which whet my appetite
for what other content I could find.
From there I found the Myths and Legends podcast with Jason and Carissa Weiser and that was it.
I was hooked.
A new medium of entertainment was unlocked for me.
The floodgates have been completely opened and outflowed
(07:07):
anything
I could ever want to learn
about everything.
The breadth of knowledge that podcast offered
Was limitless.
I sampled a lot of podcasts
and found as time went on I stuck with a few staples
like The Daily with Michael Barbaro for news
For in-depth dives into various
topics I enjoyed Stuff You Should know with Josh Clark and Charles W Bryant who are wrangled by their producer Jerry Rowland,
(07:30):
The Joe Rogan Experience for randomness and laughs.
These were my regular tune ins. Still the list continues with You Made It Weird with
Pete Holmes, Dan Carlin's Hardcore History, Lore with Aaron Mankey,
Id10t with Chris Hardwick, The Tim Ferriss Show, Making Sense with Sam Harris, Ben Shapiro, Impact
A Vox production, Getting Curious with Jonathan Van Ness,
(07:51):
Conversations with people who hate me with Dylan Marron, and of course, the original podcast for me that changed my understanding of
of what a podcast could be,
The Myths and Legends podcast with Jason and Carissa Weiser.
Maybe you take issue with some
if not all of the podcast that I listen to
And it's cool.
I do too.
I don't always agree with everyone's opinions at all times.
(08:13):
That's okay.
I think there is merit in listening to people you don't always agree with
Or even have opinions that are fundamentally opposed to your own.
Just let you see how well thought out your own beliefs are.
To test if the ideas you hold true are structurally sound when put under pressure.
A few years back I went to a comedy show with my wife, Dana
And a friend
Zach to go see Pete Holmes.
(08:34):
While at the show
Pete Holmes said that when we,
the audience, look back at the show we won't necessarily remember what was said
But we will remember the feelings we felt.
The happiness to be with the ones you love in a room full of strangers
blowing the place up with laughter
as the comedian
hurls perfectly crafted jokes at your face.
And it's true.
(08:55):
Because I don't remember the jokes that he told specifically.
What I remember is my wife and I trying to get a sip of water in between jokes without spitting it out.
What I remember is Zach
looking on at Pete Holmes like a sommelier would a rare wine set out in front of him.
The sommelier takes his time.
First, gently swirling the wine around in its glass,
(09:17):
Nose, inches above,
all the while taking deep breaths in
picking up on all the subtle notes that it has to offer
before it's even touched his lips.
Examining all the nuanced components individually to get a better understanding of what makes the wine wholly unique. As did Zach.
He was a student going to class and paying close attention to a master sharing his craft.
(09:38):
I remember all of us wiping tears from our eyes as we laughed so hard we couldn't breathe.
I remember joy.
In the same way with the hundreds of podcasts I've listened to over the years, I don't remember every word that was said.
In this case I remember the feeling it evoked in me.
I remember
being inspired.
I was listening to a lot of different podcasts.
The common thread that all of them had in common was that they all had motivational components that resonated with me.
(10:04):
Weather offhandedly, tangentially, or explicitly,
these podcasts would stir up a desire of wanting more for my life.
While I was fulfilled with podcasts I was left feeling empty from my job.
Delivering impulse buys of diapers and kitty litter wasn't as rewarding as one would want it to be.
While I was listening to podcasts I was transported to conversations with friends in living rooms
(10:26):
joking about whatever stream of conscious would be brought to their minds,
Id be on the battlefield with King Arthur,
I'd be in the Senate listening to a heated debate on the merits of a proposed bill, or observing the origins of the universe.
And then Id hit pause
to be ripped from those moments and placed back in my own.
There I would be rummaging through my delivery vehicle looking for the package for the address where I was.
(10:49):
Left feeling trapped,
Empty, wondering where to apply those brief moments of inspiration that podcasts gifted me.
I was a delivery driver, but I was lost.
Why yes, I do enjoy bands like My Chemical Romance, Taking Back Sunday and others of the emo genre.
Why do you ask?
So, let's get skip back the track to a little before this current ballad
(11:09):
of teenage angst mixed with midlife crisis vibes.
This next part might get a little confusing
since life never comes at you one event at a time.
There are always multiple things going on at once.
I'll probably make it seem more confusing than it needs to be.
Bear with me.
Before I became a delivery driver my path in life was set.
I was going to become a firefighter.
(11:30):
This surprised a lot of people who knew me well.
I wouldn't go as far as to describe myself as a germaphobe,
but they would.
Ill relent to say that I have a healthy respect for the wide category of germs and yuckiness.
Ill also admit that I had my concerns too.
Despite all of this
I spent a year getting a few emergency medical technician licenses.
(11:52):
Which would in turn make me more of an ideal candidate
as a firefighter recruit.
In the program
where I got my EMT, emergency medical technician licenses,
there was a requirement to spend a certain number of shifts at a hospital where you would put to practice the skills you learned throughout the
EMT courses.
There was a specific instance that put to rest any reservations I had about whether or not I could put aside my own neurosis
(12:16):
to pursue my firefighting ambitions.
All I say about the event
was that I spent a good amount of time one evening
with a nurse and a fellow EMT student helping an individual
who had many health concerns.
The most blaring was being afflicted with
maggots.
Many maggots
in and on his body.
It was an unforgettable night
(12:36):
and it gave me a newfound respect for the healthcare providers
and the vast scope of duties that encompasses
that profession.
Fast forward a skosh
and after getting my EMT
licenses I was hired on by an ambulance company.
All the while this was happening
I was in the earliest stages of the hiring process
of becoming a firefighter.
To become a firefighter there are multiple hurdles to get through.
(12:59):
There is a written test,
a physical test,
a panel interview
with three interviewers, another interview with a fire chief,
a polygraph test,
a drug test,
a background check,
and there may be more
but that's all I can remember about the process
at this time.
I was at the point
where I had passed the written test, the physical test,
I did my panel interview, and I was waiting to hear about when I would be scheduling my
(13:20):
next interview with a fire chief.
Even though I was waiting to hear back,
I wasn't standing still.
I had my licensure and a couple of EMT positions where I was getting on the job experience.
The first was with a local medical services company that was hired for special events.
Like concerts,
conventions, and marathons.
If some sort of medical emergency would occur at the event,
(13:41):
I would be the first to apply medical treatment and make the call if the patient needed to be transported to the hospital, or whether the
patient could be
just patched up and sent on his or her way.
With this position I would not be responsible for transporting the patient to a greater level of care.
For example, a hospital.
The other EMT position I held
was more of what I think of when I hear EMT.
(14:02):
I worked on an ambulance.
Someone would call 911, or if you live in a country with a different emergency number you would dial that and get in contact with an
operator who would then dispatch an ambulance to the location of the emergency.
If the crew I was on was the closest ambulance to the
emergency then I would show up at the scene and help perform first-aid.
I was a special event EMT for 4 months before I got hired on to the ambulance company.
(14:27):
During that time, it was pretty uneventful.
Not too much happened.
Maybe a Band-Aid here and there at a running event or giving someone directions to find a bathroom in a convention center.
My path wasn't really tested until I got on as an EMT
with an ambulance company responding to 911 calls.
The city where I live wasn't really a city with a lot of fire related calls.
(14:47):
Instead, it was mostly medical calls that firefighters
would respond to
car accident,
heart attack, stroke
broken bones and the like.
Which ties to my earlier point why it was important for me to show initiative to get my EMT licenses and start applying those skills
in real life emergencies.
Broadly, it's better to hire someone with a foundation rather than training someone up from scratch.
(15:08):
I was building my foundation.
The experiences I was having with the ambulance company were more closely mirroring what my prospected firefighting career was going to look
look like more so than the previous few months
of being an event EMT.
Instead of feeling like I had arrived
to my life's calling,
I felt resistance.
It was alarming.
I wasn't a firefighter yet,
(15:28):
but I had already taken it on as my identity.
Over the year plus time I was pursuing this career,
I built the foundation of who I am on this noble pursuit of becoming a firefighter.
Everyone, friends,
family,
the person I was dating,
her family, passerbys
all knew me as a person who is aspiring to be a firefighter.
Oh, what a selfless career I had chosen for myself.
(15:51):
To be a person who intervenes in people's worst moments
and offer hope.
To sacrifice my own safety for the wellness of others.
These are beliefs I held about becoming a firefighter.
Beliefs I kind of absorbed into my own personal identity.
And these are beliefs I still hold to be true about the firefighting
Occupation.
I imagine you see where I'm going with all this.
Rather than feelings of confirmation I felt distress when getting a glimpse of a job that I put on a pedestal.
(16:16):
I didn't dislike it.
I hated it.
It wasn't the blood and guts that
bothered me. It was something else entirely I didn't think to prepare myself for.
An example that always sticks out to me was a call I went out to for an elderly lady in her eighties that was having heart issues.
After getting her loaded into the ambulance with her husband in tow we continued asking her questions about her health history.
(16:38):
This is standard operating procedure so that when you drop off the patient to the hospital the receiving nurse has preliminary information about why the
patient is being brought to the hospital.
Basic medical history and other pertinent information to this specific
medical episode.
The patient was on the stretcher facing the back door.
My partner and I were on her left.
Her husband was seated on another
(16:58):
bench behind her head.
The patient was in stable condition coherently explaining her very long medical history.
This wasn't an out of the blue medical episode she was experiencing.
Her health had,
for a while, been deteriorating.
As she is listing everything wrong with her
I see her husband cup his hands over his
face and begin to cry.
(17:19):
You don't really think about it in the moment because you have a job to do.
It's only after when you revisit the memory. You think about the
old couple who have lived decades together.
Possibly living more time married
than as separate individuals.
An old couple who knows that barring any unforeseen event,
one of them is quickly reaching the end of their life.
(17:40):
She is going to die soon
and the husband will be left
without her.
When their whole relationship they have been able to support each other.
Now she will be gone.
Time has no sympathy to give him a moment
to grieve.
Still he has
to carry on and navigate
what's left of his world
without who was once his world.
When you work for an ambulance company you rarely get to see the outcome of the patients you bring to the hospital.
(18:04):
You get a call,
stabilize the patient the best you can,
transport them to the hospital, debrief with the staff, and post up for your next call.
Not every call is life and death, but the ones that are, not knowing what happened to the patient
can be heavier than knowing.
The patients get left in your conscious
With this sort of Schrodinger's cat existence. Where they are both alive and dead.
(18:24):
A thought you were left to reconcile.
In order to be competent at your job as a healthcare provider
there's a layer of callus that
you have to develop.
This doesn't mean you need to become an unfeeling or uncaring person.
The best Healthcare professionals balance compassion with treating their patients with a level of care that they would want another
care provider to be giving to their own family members.
(18:46):
All the while protecting their own hearts from becoming too attached.
Is a tricky balancing game,
but you can't live and die with each one of your patients.
Otherwise, you'll become depressed and unable to perform your job, or on the other side, you'll become too removed and not give your patients
the proper level of care they deserve.
I wasn't able to separate myself from the patents fast enough.
(19:06):
It weighed on me.
I already have a natural bend for
Depression. I think about death what I would imagine is slightly more than the
average person.
Not suicide.
Just the inevitability of it.
My time where I worked for an ambulance company as an EMT felt like a lifetime.
It was only a month,
but it was all I could take.
Becoming a firefighter is what I had laser focus on for so long.
(19:30):
This wasn't just a career.
This was the blueprint
that I was building my future with.
It was a burdensome decision as I called my supervisor to put in my two weeks notice.
He was understanding
that this job isn't for everyone.
No hard feelings and no notice necessary.
He graciously let me end my employment
when the phone conversation
concluded.
What made that phone call hard was I wasn't just quitting being an EMT.
(19:54):
I was quitting all of what I knew
that was certain about my future.
The emergency medical system where I lived was predominantly medical calls.
There is no such thing as a county firefighter who exclusively responds to one type of call.
Whether it's a medical emergency or a fire emergency.
You respond to it all.
Literally I was ending my employment
(20:14):
with that company
as an EMT.
Symbolically I was closing the door
of my future as a firefighter.
Unfortunately,
that one phone call wasn't magically forwarded to everyone important in my life.
To everyone that was helping me along in this journey.
I was being helped by my dad who knew a few firefighters.
Not just firefighters
but chiefs of stations
(20:34):
and the chief
of the county where I lived.
I was being helped by a community
to reach my dream.
I still had to show up, put in the work,
learn the information,
but my path was illuminated by my dad and his old friends.
As hard as that phone call was to end my employment as an EMT
It was a piece of cake
compared to what was next.
I felt shame,
and still due to an extent,
(20:56):
about abandoning
that career.
It was what I knew to be true about myself.
I was going to be a firefighter.
It was something that not only I invested in and sacrificed for,
but people around me did too.
I had to go to all of them now and tell them
I was done.
It was humbling and humiliating.
It even damaged some relationships.
(21:16):
I felt like I didn't have any value left to offer.
I was left with this persistent question with no answers.
The timing only added insult to injury.
I proposed recently.
Now what kind of future am I going to provide for my fianc?
Further, what will her successful family think of me?
What does my family think of me?
My friends?
What am I going to do?
(21:37):
What's next?
My one's clear path disappeared.
The future that I envisioned vaporized.
All that was left
was one isolated paver for me to build
a whole new future with.
Fortuitously for me I stayed working for the delivery company this whole time as a part-time employee.
As much bad as I have to say about this company,
it was a great job to have while you pursued other ambitions
(21:59):
since the hours you worked were very limited.
A way I used to describe this part-time delivery job was that it was a dream killer.
Many people came to work for this company as a temporary means to an end.
This job would pay the bills
while other ambitions
were pursued.
Eventually though,
the roles would switch.
The job would take priority and the person's dreams
would be placed on hold.
(22:20):
Usually to never
be picked up again.
It sounds dramatic,
but I heard this story many times
by many different authors.
I'm not saying this to put any of them down.
It's just how life went.
They had families to provide for and needed healthcare needed something steady and so on.
This was the
path of least resistance.
It wasn't until later that I heard an even better descriptor
(22:42):
for this job.
He described working for this company as
just good enough.
That was it!
This job was just good enough
to pay the bills
offer an average level of income
and keep you complacent.
This is now what I was choosing
for myself.
I was getting married in a few months.
I wasnt only going to be providing for myself anymore.
As a part-time job working for the delivery company this wasn't going to provide much more than relational turmoil.
(23:08):
I eventually transferred with the company to a full-time position.
I took the same vehicle on a different path
to get to the same destination
as many of my peers.
There I was
in my just good enough job
treading water wondering
if this is it for me.
And there we have it
Episode 1 in the books.
(23:29):
It's a little heavier so I would like to close it out with some levity.
The format I choose is one of
I'm receiving a Lifetime Achievement Award and my goodness there are so many people to thank.
Honestly,
this is so unexpected and it's an honor just to be nominated.
First, I'd like to thank my agent for believing in me and giving me the roles I've had in my career
leading me now to be on the stage in front of you beautiful people.
(23:53):
Don't be modest you know you are.
My wife for being an unwavering pillar of belief and support.
She has gently encouraged me all along while patiently living out all of my stops and starts to this project.
My parents for
always believing in their curly bunny.
Also, for them not being content with my older brother and wanting another child
(24:16):
to finally making them proud. I tease.
If there ever was a personification for the phrase, Why can't you be more like your brother?
My brother would be it.
And no my parents have never said that to me, but
maybe they should have since one of their child's biggest ambitions was to record some words and have strangers listen to them?
My brother and his family for their love
but most importantly their Disney+ membership.
(24:38):
My wife's family and all of their support.
My friends for giving me a break from reality to deeply laugh.
Lastly, to the listener and future listeners.
For giving me a chance
providing a place for my dreams and crazed rantings to land.
Know that as much as I could try, I would never be able to fully put the words
(24:58):
my appreciation
for you all.
Thanks for listening everyone. I'll see you on the next episode of Revelizations where we will continue my journey to podcasting.
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