May 3, 2024 • 38 mins
The episode further unfolds Maurice's continues the struggles within in-patient rehab. Faced with Cindy's brain injury, unraveling his fear, anxiety, yet relentless resilience of the daily experience at another clinic. Experience the importance of knowing a patient's medical history, symptoms, and potential risks in healthcare, as well as the inevitable struggle between hope and despair when living with a brain injury survivor.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
This is going to be episode seven and me
and maurice we usually have a little chit chat before we get into
this you know so we could try to get into it kind of
warmed up of what he wants to talk about you know let him gather his thoughts
or whatnot and he touched upon a story that he thought he told me and it's a
(00:23):
story that i don't think anybody would forget if they heard it so So I think
it's a story worth sharing.
It's pretty, I'm not going to say revealing. We're not going to use the word
malpractice, but like Maurice likes to use, maybe neglect, you know.
And well, I'll just go ahead and
(00:43):
let Maurice tell it because he knows the situation that I'm alluding to.
Right, right. Right. Yeah. During this whole journey and this whole process,
there's a lot of incidents that just sticks to your mind, more some than others.
And certainly this was one of them that after the LTAC, where she was at a inpatient
(01:10):
rehabilitation center,
I remember in the previous episode, So she's kind of got discharged from the ILTAC center.
She's transitioning to a place where she can get intense therapy and start her
recovery process to kind of like build back her faculties and whatnot.
And at that point, she is still dependent on us for a lot of different things,
(01:33):
but she'd been decanalated.
So she has, quote unquote, a voice box, but we're kind of like doing trials
and she's working on speaking therapy. She was working in swall therapy.
This is the first time that she's really been in a wheelchair because she was
bed-bound prior to this.
(01:54):
So she's kind of being a little bit more mobile with a sense of the assistance of others.
It'll be my family, like myself, sister, her mom, the nurses,
the techs at the facilities.
And so she can't really walk she can't really she doesn't have her own she can't freely walk.
(02:19):
Urinate as of yet so she has to use a catheter she's starting to show signs
of you know bowel movement but not really controllable yet so she's kind of on diapers per se so,
accidents will happen and it won't get too messy as well as to help her move
(02:40):
around from the wheelchair to the bed to the bathroom and where she's at now
is like kind of opening the door for her to be a little bit more mobile.
In fact, we're encouraging her, the team's encouraging her and we're trying to do that.
So the issue that, or the incident that we're talking about is here at this
(03:02):
place, if I didn't mention before, at this point of time, I've become way more busy.
We're three months in now and I've been three months and much more out of work.
I haven't been working because I had to really focus on the situation at hand.
I have been driving from downtown to where we live back and forth two to three
(03:28):
times a day, maybe more, certainly not less.
And that's like a four to five minute with no traffic drive.
And with a traffic drive, you can imagine the round trips, stuff like that.
So I'm much more busy now, But at this point of time,
I've had basically my mother-in-law move in to help with the rotation because
(03:51):
the resources are thinning out where I used to have an army of people.
They have slowly kind of resumed their
normal routines as they should and so
my resources are depleted and
i'm kind of taking on more role active roles and doing other things where i
(04:13):
could put them off before and so and i'm getting to the incident which i'll
just kind of i just want to frame it here so where we're at because in previous
episode you know it can kind of get confusing where we're at,
how she is doing, what she can and cannot do.
And so we're here now. We're working on things and she's on the wheelchair and
(04:37):
she transfers from the bed to the wheelchair or the bed to the shower chair
that rolls into the bathroom, depending where she's going.
If it's to the bathroom, it's the shower chair.
If it's to therapy, it's on the the wheelchair.
But she's being more and more active now. And with that being said,
(04:57):
she needs all this assistance.
And then I remember one time I was either dropping off Hudson or making a phone
call or doing some work or something of that sort and came back after she had
gotten back for therapy. And then...
I noticed that she had a, I'm going to call it a stench.
(05:18):
I asked Cindy, told her, I commented, I said, hey, do you smell, by the way?
She said, yeah, I know. I have a dirty, I'm soiled.
I'm like, well, why didn't you call to get someone changed?
I did. I asked somebody to take me to the bathroom.
(05:40):
These are her message to me. And she was like, yeah, did they take you to the
bathroom? And she's like, yeah, they took me to the bathroom.
And I tried to go. And I can't remember the time if she did or she didn't.
But she mentioned to me that when her diaper was soiled, it had something there.
(06:02):
So when they pulled it down and
she she went when she
was quote-unquote done they pulled it up and put her back in bed and she wait
wait wait just just so we could get this straight this sounds completely odd
okay to a normal person i assume there is particles in her diaper so she went some in the toilet,
(06:27):
but before that, there was feces in her diaper.
They know that, obviously. They just pulled it back up.
That's what Cindy told me. She's like, all this. And before we get too far,
I cannot accuse anybody of anything because I did not see that play out.
(06:48):
But I was fortunate because that's her experience, right?
And sure enough, I'm like, so I, when I got there And I commented that,
and that's what she told me.
I'm like, what? That doesn't make sense. Why would anybody do that?
So I transferred her to the shower chair and rolled her in.
And sure enough, it was soiled. And I cleaned her up, and she did what she could do.
(07:14):
At this point of time, remember, she was having difficulty on her own fruition
being able to extricate.
And so, yeah. Yeah. And then, you know, along those same lines,
she told me the communication with the assistants was that they also made fun
(07:35):
of the size of my breasts. I'm like, what do you mean? It's like...
It was partly me asking all these questions and her nodding and partly her signing
and part of her trying to vocalize in a very strange voice.
But the sentiment was that, yeah, I was just being made fun of and it broke my heart.
(07:58):
It's just like one of those incidents that I mentioned in the other episode
where you've got to have somebody there.
You've got to have somebody to advocate there. If you're there,
likely things go as planned, or you're there to witness that it isn't what it
really seems. Who knows?
(08:18):
That's why it's important to have somebody there because you feel comfortable
more that way. You're advocating for that person.
That was stuck out to me because I'm like, who would do that and who does this?
But then we live in a crazy world where you see stories of people spitting on
pizza or doing this and that.
(08:39):
And so it was disheartening, to say the least.
It was another one of those takes where there's a reason why I can't leave her alone.
It's just moments like that that is coming back to me, and I'm recounting that. That sticks out to me.
And i wanted to bring that up to her in a conversation again and just to see
(09:05):
what her thoughts were about it and maybe one day but because i think at this point of time,
we're catching a point where she's becoming more cognitively aware and remembering things.
And it'll be one of those things where i could ask her like what were some of
the things that What really bothered you about your care? What were some of the things that,
(09:29):
That I could have helped with that. What could we have done better? Stuff like that.
And I think that there's a package there to unload, but that was one of the
incidents where I felt like she was neglected and then she was shamed.
Obviously, you don't have cameras and monitors in the patient's room because
(09:53):
she's not like a quote-unquote risk per se and a threat to her own life or anything like that.
So there's not much more you can do, but just kind of like do the best you can to be there for her.
I did comment and brought that to a supervisor.
And oftentimes when you're in the care of others for a long period of time.
(10:16):
It sometimes isn't about whether somebody's qualified. sometimes it's a matter
of personality mismatch, right?
Because you're not communicating well with this person.
They're reading between the lines the wrong way, whatever it may be.
So I had brought it up and said, I don't have evidence,
(10:40):
but I have my wife saying this, and that's enough for me, and we just need to
remove or rotate somebody else, which they're more than happy to do because
this happens more often than you'd think.
Not that incident, but the fact that people are not comfortable with certain
resources that are there.
And so you can request on part of the family or the patient to have other personnel
(11:06):
care for you. And that's what we did.
Well, I was just shaking my head said throughout most of that story.
Very disturbing to hear. Putting someone close to me like Jules in that position.
Oh my God. It just, I don't know if this is here nor there, but was that nurse male or female?
(11:29):
At the request of us, we wanted people, we wanted a female to really care for
Cindy because she had lost,
she needed assistance in sensitive areas and she we wanted to give her integrity
as a person so we asked for female okay not that there was any,
conflict or anything like that but.
(11:52):
That makes me feel a lot better. Not about the situation, but yes,
for Cindy's integrity, like you say.
Remember that she may not seem like an autonomous person,
an independent person that can do anything, can vocalize her needs,
and people can understand her and stuff like that.
(12:15):
But for me, it is very important that she had a voice.
She felt empowered. And when things like this happen, and she tells me this,
two things come up at this point in time.
Because she had a brain injury, and there's so many gray areas.
And like I said before, I'm not dismissing her, but I'm like, oh my gosh.
(12:38):
What does it feel like to be her? She must feel less of a person right now.
I'm like, everybody is doing stuff for me. I have no control.
I have to ask for permission for everything I do.
I've lost my privacy. I've lost my ability to do things at will.
And this is one of those things where it's just an added layer that says like,
(13:01):
gosh, I'm just trying to...
The fact of the matter is you've lost other things as well.
Well, you've lost the metaphysical part of you, which is like being a person
in your own right, being empowered, being able to just control your situation.
The other day I was watching the news and I was breaking news about a autistic
(13:26):
boy on a bus and there was a school bus aid and he was coming home.
Every other day or something like that with bruises on his arms and stuff like that.
And, you know, broken tooth, you know, kind of like marks on his body.
And they brought it to the attentions of the school. And the school says like,
well, that didn't happen in our care or anything like that.
(13:48):
Well, there was a video that surfaced and he was autistic, so he couldn't vocalize his stuff.
There's a school bus which shows that the school bus aid was taking shots at
this kid and he couldn't tell his parents what was going on he couldn't vocalize
it what do you mean taking shots punching him oh my goodness and they have it on film,
(14:14):
a teacher's aid yeah a bus aid.
There are the bus to help with the children
what in the world and they
decided to pick on the autistic kid it's an
autistic bus i believe right so all the kids okay it's
an autistic it's an aid right bus aid that's there so let's
(14:34):
go back well if cindy can't voice herself she's
in the same situation like i don't know if somebody's harming
you or hurting you or making fun of you because you
know you're now in the care of so many people and
different shifts and and i want to believe give the benefit of doubt the world
is a good place to proven different you know but in the real world like a story
(14:59):
like that you just start questioning everything and and it just broke my heart
because i can't be there all the time.
I just can't it's not i can't i can only be in one place at one time i can't
be in three Three different places, two different places.
And so I try to employ all the resources I have.
But again, I was praying,
(15:24):
hoping that the only way that we can control the situation is Cindy starts to
recover and gets a voice and be able to start telling me more.
And I can track these things and stuff like that. So it's very disheartening
because when you're helpless with somebody you want to help so much,
there's just heartbreak when something does happen.
(15:49):
I don't know. I'm just gathering my thoughts too. It makes me upset.
I mean, of course, these stories are going to make us upset.
Now we're in the rehab center.
Right. We're at inpatient rehab. We've started, you know. Past all this neglect.
And demeaning behavior now past that, I guess, where, where is Cindy now in her recovery?
(16:15):
And when you go through a brain injury, whether it be a stroke or anything of
that sort, there's a lot of things that get affected and get taken away really quickly.
But what comes back first are the profound things.
And so that's where we're at. We're at a stage where she's been bed bound and
(16:37):
now she's slowly coming to,
and now we're going to test her because she's kind of medically stable,
but we're going to test her and now we're kind of working on her mobility issues,
her eating issues and stuff like that.
So she's making profound gains here, which is amazing because now she's testing to eat ice cream.
(17:04):
There was issues with her eating hot foods, textured foods. She has to eat parade foods.
So now she's orally trying parade foods, practicing parade foods because she
does aspirate and she does silently aspirate.
So there are no overt signs when she is aspirating.
(17:29):
And so at this point of time, she's eating parade foods, a hybrid mix within
that and her feeding tube.
So feeding tube, majority of the time.
Trials with when she's in therapy with a speech therapist, she's trying parade foods.
(17:51):
And so it's a fresh breath of change because you're trying different things.
And now she's trying to do mobile things as in trying to sit in a chair and
just simply stand up, sit to stand.
How fast can she do that? How well can she do that? How stable can she do that?
How much assistance she needs to do that she's trying
(18:14):
to build strength so she's very
weak right she's lost a lot of weight and i think we mentioned before
that you know she's a small
girl to begin with and she was you know like she looked like she was a man she
just she looked frail and i and the feeding tube helped gain some of that but
she still had some ways to go i mean she was like in her 80-pound range or something like that.
(18:40):
And that's like, oh my gosh, that's like, I haven't- It's a skeleton. Yeah.
It's a lot of muscle atrophy as well, because she's been in the bed,
and she was unconscious for a while, and then she was trached,
and then she was just kind of like doing nothing other than laying in the bed.
And so trying to gain strength back, which requires exercise and food.
(19:04):
Those are hard things to do because she has deficiency in eating food and exercises
are hard because she was weak and she had atrophy.
So that's where she was at.
We were trying to do reading tests, cognitive exercises to see how well she's
processed things cognitively.
(19:27):
We did we mentioned that she had double vision so that was a challenge she had
to be retrofitted see a neuro-optometrist retrofitted with glasses that had
prisms in them to help align,
or fuse the image into one and continue to work with the you know neuro-optometrist
(19:49):
to kind of eventually get her eyes to do that on its own without any assistance distance.
Working her pronouncing words. She had a very weak, strained voice.
She had not been talking for months, right?
And now she was still accustomed to signing, which we had to break free of,
(20:10):
because now she had the ability to use her voice box again, her vocal cords.
So we visited the ENT to see how her vocal cords was doing, had to do some injections
to build some mass behind that because it had atrophy too.
Like her vocal cords looked like they were weakened, like they were not like they were before.
(20:36):
So just she had a lack of a cough. She couldn't do any volitional cough,
which is something that you want to have because when you and I aspirate,
we automatically, our body automatically coughs. And what does that do when you cough?
It expels the food that might otherwise go down the wrong pipe.
But she couldn't do that. That's why she decided on the aspirates.
(20:56):
A lot of the things that she's doing now is like found because you're seeing
improvements and there are clinical improvements because you can see them.
You don't have to take data measurements.
You don't have to have metrics of like this and that because that's later on
when you get to the nitty gritty.
But here you can see that, oh, I can understand what you're saying.
(21:17):
Or you can say one word now. Or you're not so tired after this amount of time.
Oh, you can stand up now. So those were some of the things that we're working on at this point of time.
And she slowly regains more of her physical mobility.
(21:37):
Inability, she has a shoulder supletion, which is probably due to her neurological
condition with her atrophy, so her shoulder had to be in a brace.
She had dorsiflexion, which means that she had tightness or inability to point
her toes upwards, and that's because she's been in the bed or muscles got tight, tendons get tight.
(22:02):
And if you're, for you and I, who often get up on a daily basis at one point
or another, we plant our foot and bear weight on our heels, where she did not do that for months.
And that sometimes presents itself in people who have these brain injuries who
are bed bound to be a problem, right?
So they had to build a cast for her as well to help build that flexibility again.
(22:27):
And the darkest times were well before then, and it's still challenging during
this period of time, but I think we were seeing an upside now, right?
And so it was getting more busier for her as well as for me.
I was having to attend a lot of team conferences. There was a lot of doctor's
(22:48):
appointments for her and Hudson.
I was advocating for her more and more so. I was well-informed.
I always touch base with the team.
Here's one thing, and I think I mentioned this before. I was learning at this
point of time to really be part of the process because they were starting to
train me. And I wanted to be hands-on.
(23:09):
How can I carry this over when she's not in active therapy?
What can I do for her? And so this place where she was at, where before she
was lacking was therapy,
this is where we began the hard work, the physical work, the mental part of
it is before we're trying to survive, stay alive,
we got to work, come back as close as we can to her normal baseline. line.
(23:33):
It's just at this time, she was slowly getting confidence again.
But there are just as much as good days, there's bad days.
In fact, during her time here, there was one time where she looked me dead in
the eye and said, I feel weird.
(23:56):
I said, what do you mean?
So she had she was vomiting and when you're
on a feeding tube and you haven't eaten for a long time
your body your stomach probably shrinks so when
you're and when you're on a feeding tube the the food just really doesn't go
through the process all the way down from doesn't take time going from your
(24:19):
mouth to you know your esophagus down to your stomach and down to your lower
stomach and gets digested.
So that takes time for you to feel full. But when you're pumping food,
sometimes you get full faster and you kind of vomit, like things will come up
because she couldn't take it.
And she couldn't say no when it was too much because there's a machine that
(24:40):
feeds her on a routine schedule, titrated.
It's kind of like feeds her X amount of time and it gets a little bit lower.
This time it's on a schedule or something like that, where somebody would administer
And I'd give them a schedule based on doctor's orders or nutritionist or dietician's orders.
And so it was not uncommon to see her vomit. But this time, like I said, she said she felt funny.
(25:02):
She just had vomited. She says, I quote, my head is not feeling right.
And that was a trigger for me because I'm like, oh, no. We just got...
Three, four months ago, we just got out of this. And don't tell me it's happening
(25:24):
again because it's a trigger because that night where everything happened that
started this whole journey,
there was certain events that transpired.
There were certain things that I knew that she was experiencing,
like a headache, like vomiting.
And then I took her temperature. I asked her, how does your head feel?
(25:50):
Do you feel like you have headaches?
I'm not sure. It's spinning right now. I feel nauseous. And just in an instant, I hit the call button.
I mean, I was panicking.
But at that very instant, I also became a leader.
Because when you get intaked into an emergency room or whatever,
(26:13):
you're having people who don't know your file. They don't know what you have.
They don't know what condition you're in. They don't know what medication you're
on. So they're trying to catch up real quick.
And so at this time, I think it was either, it was on a weekend.
So the staff didn't, the place didn't have this normal doctors per se had,
I think, residents on call and normal people were active on the roll.
(26:36):
And so they're all just kind of like, I hit the panic button.
There's basically several buttons you can click.
And then once you hit a certain particular button, it's all hands on deck and
the nurses come in and techs come in and then they try to get a doctor or something like that.
And I told her what I just told you. I was like, this is the onset.
(26:58):
These were the symptoms that she had when she had the brain bleed.
We need to get a scan right now, a stat.
We need to get a CT scan. I need to know. She's still on blood thinners.
I need to know right now because she's telling me, she's conveying to me that
she feels weird in the head.
And if she did not say that, then it'd be a different story.
(27:18):
But she said that, and she was vomiting, and she was nauseous, and she had a headache.
That, I was like, I got to know right now because we cannot, we just got this far.
I know how hard it was to get her past certain point to here.
So then the residents were ordering up like, okay, we need blood work and stuff
(27:41):
like that. I was like, okay.
And they were testing her speech, her ability. And I was telling them that,
okay, she's on blood thinners.
Let me tell you that right now. If she's bleeding, she's going to bleed out.
And by the way, because this happened before, I have historical information
to tell you that she doesn't have slurred speech when she had a brain bleed.
(28:02):
So you can't tell right now.
The best thing to do right now, and they were trying, at this time,
time was taking a long time because they were trying to find veins,
so they were pricking her once, twice, three times, switching arms.
And so she's kind of, it was a nightmare because it all came back right away.
And I was telling the seven, six, seven people in the room, I said,
(28:23):
okay, she has this, she has a history of this.
By the way, the onset of her injury, these were the symptoms.
And because we know this, and I told the nurse also, because she's due for blood
thinners, like hold the blood thinners, don't give her one right now,
because until we know what this is, while you're trying to do blood work.
(28:44):
We're trying to work her up.
You need to schedule a CT scan across the street right now because time is of
the essence and very quick with it.
And then I remember two residents talking to each other. He's like, he's right.
We need to do this. We should give her a CT scan based on her profile,
whatever. He says there's on this and that.
And boom, boom, boom, boom. And then I think maybe I want to say it was less
(29:07):
than an hour, maybe 30 minutes.
They just basically drew back I said, okay, we'll get her blood work later.
Let's get her reeled over to the hospital, which there was a tunnel from the
rehab center to the hospital, which was across the street to get a CT scan.
And that was, I mean, just a flood of stuff came up, floated up to me.
(29:29):
And I was just thinking the worst.
And this is like the night again. It's like, please, not again.
Don't do this to me. And I was just barely hanging on a thread.
I called her sister. her and said, and I just told her this,
we didn't have to say much. It was just consoling each other. I was like, why?
I was like, oh, please, please not again.
(29:51):
We haven't even recovered.
So I was in the waiting room, waiting, waiting, waiting, and eventually came
back and said, okay, there's evidence of a brain bleed, but it was in the past.
There's this and that. Basically, the radiologist or technologist read through
(30:12):
and kind of digested the scan and said that, okay, it looks normal.
I don't care if it was normal. normal, that reassured me that I can step back
and say, okay, I did what I could this time.
Last time, I don't know what's going on. This time, I know what's going on and I need to act on my mind.
And I just was just very worried during that leg, that trip going there that
(30:36):
I was going to have to make calls again to everybody.
And this is what life looks like for us because Because anytime she has a headache,
I have to do a playbook, play by play, actually my head and find out when,
how do we manage care going on fourth year?
Because we know there's a history there. People who don't have history of brain
(30:59):
bleeds or whatever, then you don't even know what to look for.
Like your wife could be having a headache and you're like, oh, you have a headache.
But if you knew she had a headache, she had a brain bleed or she had brain injury
before, you've been dealing with that, she has a headache. You think about other things.
And so how do we carry our life?
From here on forth. This is the tightrope I walk now.
(31:20):
Is a headache just a headache? Do I need to go to ER every single time?
But in this situation, this happened here. And I think I've been trying to work
with Cindy to tell her, do you remember what it felt like that night?
And she's like, yeah, I felt like a headache like no other.
Keep that in mind. Remind yourself, do not dismiss it if it's something dire,
(31:42):
but you have to know a line where it's like, okay, let's wait an hour,
see how it is versus this feels bad.
Let's go right now because time is important because I know.
What hell we were dealing with then and it just came all back.
So again, it's a mixed bag as you you go through this, right?
(32:04):
She's having profound gains doing slowly.
She's starting to socialize with her therapist because that's the only way she's
been able to kind of communicate.
And sometimes it's difficult because she doesn't have a voice.
And sometimes they look to me to translate, transcribe what she's doing.
(32:24):
And so I have to make sure that I'm there for her because if she's in pain or
she needs something, I have to be able to help with that.
"'I gotta say, Mo, I mean—',
any of us would be very lucky to have an advocate do what you did there.
And I mean, we could also see why you did it.
(32:44):
There was the part of you that felt you were insufficient that first night and,
you in no way, we're going to let that happen again.
And that was that story. You could really feel it well put, I would say,
because you took us on a journey there of technically walking on eggshells again.
(33:05):
As I was listening to the story, seven episodes in, I didn't even think about this happening again.
I'm not sure if you, in real time then, thought about this happening again until
she said that she felt funny.
Yeah, I knew that this was a possibility because I have an analytical mindset.
(33:27):
I think about all paths of outcome and what it means.
And so I knew, and I want to say my downtime, in the times that I'm not having
to actively do something, I think about backup plays, think about backup routines,
like what do we need to do in this area? I prepare.
(33:47):
To this day, when we take a trip, I investigate the hospital nearby.
We just did a trip, just a few, one of our first trip a few weeks ago at the
time of this recording here.
And I researched, okay, if there is an emergency, if she's having this and that,
(34:09):
that, what is my course of action?
Is it a helicopter lift because it's out of the middle of nowhere?
Is it trauma one center and stuff like that?
This is what I prepare for now. This is the life that I am trying to manage
here on forth because we have to be prepared.
Can't be caught off guard. I don't want to be having any type of regrets that
(34:33):
I did not do the best I could when I can do the best that I can, which is me.
This is me doing the best I can. So yeah, it's certainly in the course of this
recovery, anything can happen.
And I pray that they don't because we are trying diligently to manage her care.
(34:54):
She's working on monitoring, being in tune with her body, me being in tune with her.
And when our episodes and series catches up to present day, you'll be able to
see what our routine looks like. And you bringing that up.
I mean, you floated the possibility out there that she might be willing to jump
(35:18):
on this podcast and give us a few insights.
And I've been looking forward to that. I haven't talked to her since Hudson
was about, he wasn't even a year old yet when I met him.
What was he, six months old, seven months old or something like that?
The incident happened when he was eight months old so
(35:41):
you could have not met have met him past eight
months yeah he was just a baby and it's
gonna be i'm getting the chills just thinking about talking to
her hearing her voice and i asked
you off the air if my wife could sit in because they're
close also stay tuned right i
(36:03):
mean it's this is all organic there's all on naturally this
is raw emotions raw talk real talk whatever
you will it's not you know scripted in
any way so that's why pride doesn't sound
as perfect as it otherwise some
of other things that we produce might be but this is a journey for myself for
(36:28):
cindy for hudson and for people who can relate and for listeners and friends
and family like yourself to understand perhaps.
What we've been going through, what we're dealing with, because it is difficult
for me to have a sit down with almost everybody that wants to know this is my
(36:52):
way of getting therapy and broadcasting.
You know, our vulnerabilities because we would like to share because life is
precious and there are decisions you make.
There's things that you do. We're humbled by the experience.
We've transformed in a way where we want to, you know, at least I want to be
(37:16):
able to relate and share with others that may be going through the same thing, that you're not alone.
You know, it's, It's, it's, and everybody, I'm interested to hear other people
who has had similar experiences, what they had to deal with or how they even overcome things.
Because, you know, what brings joy to my eyes is a success story.
(37:37):
And that success is a quote unquote subjective one, right?
You know, everybody has their own thoughts of what they want out of life,
what they want, how they want to come back, you know.
That would be wonderful to read Anybody who wants to share their stories On
any of the podcast apps That you're listening to this with Right I think that
(38:01):
Where we are at this point of time Chronologically In this storytelling Is,
I'm starting to see,
Parts of Cindy That I have missed so much.
This is going to be episode seven and me
and maurice we usually have a little chit chat before we get into
this you know so we could try to get into it kind of
warmed up of what he wants to talk about you know let him gather his thoughts
or whatnot and he touched upon a story that he thought he told me and it's a
(00:23):
story that i don't think anybody would forget if they heard it so So I think
it's a story worth sharing.
It's pretty, I'm not going to say revealing. We're not going to use the word
malpractice, but like Maurice likes to use, maybe neglect, you know.
And well, I'll just go ahead and
(00:43):
let Maurice tell it because he knows the situation that I'm alluding to.
Right, right. Right. Yeah. During this whole journey and this whole process,
there's a lot of incidents that just sticks to your mind, more some than others.
And certainly this was one of them that after the LTAC, where she was at a inpatient
(01:10):
rehabilitation center,
I remember in the previous episode, So she's kind of got discharged from the ILTAC center.
She's transitioning to a place where she can get intense therapy and start her
recovery process to kind of like build back her faculties and whatnot.
And at that point, she is still dependent on us for a lot of different things,
(01:33):
but she'd been decanalated.
So she has, quote unquote, a voice box, but we're kind of like doing trials
and she's working on speaking therapy. She was working in swall therapy.
This is the first time that she's really been in a wheelchair because she was
bed-bound prior to this.
(01:54):
So she's kind of being a little bit more mobile with a sense of the assistance of others.
It'll be my family, like myself, sister, her mom, the nurses,
the techs at the facilities.
And so she can't really walk she can't really she doesn't have her own she can't freely walk.
(02:19):
Urinate as of yet so she has to use a catheter she's starting to show signs
of you know bowel movement but not really controllable yet so she's kind of on diapers per se so,
accidents will happen and it won't get too messy as well as to help her move
(02:40):
around from the wheelchair to the bed to the bathroom and where she's at now
is like kind of opening the door for her to be a little bit more mobile.
In fact, we're encouraging her, the team's encouraging her and we're trying to do that.
So the issue that, or the incident that we're talking about is here at this
(03:02):
place, if I didn't mention before, at this point of time, I've become way more busy.
We're three months in now and I've been three months and much more out of work.
I haven't been working because I had to really focus on the situation at hand.
I have been driving from downtown to where we live back and forth two to three
(03:28):
times a day, maybe more, certainly not less.
And that's like a four to five minute with no traffic drive.
And with a traffic drive, you can imagine the round trips, stuff like that.
So I'm much more busy now, But at this point of time,
I've had basically my mother-in-law move in to help with the rotation because
(03:51):
the resources are thinning out where I used to have an army of people.
They have slowly kind of resumed their
normal routines as they should and so
my resources are depleted and
i'm kind of taking on more role active roles and doing other things where i
(04:13):
could put them off before and so and i'm getting to the incident which i'll
just kind of i just want to frame it here so where we're at because in previous
episode you know it can kind of get confusing where we're at,
how she is doing, what she can and cannot do.
And so we're here now. We're working on things and she's on the wheelchair and
(04:37):
she transfers from the bed to the wheelchair or the bed to the shower chair
that rolls into the bathroom, depending where she's going.
If it's to the bathroom, it's the shower chair.
If it's to therapy, it's on the the wheelchair.
But she's being more and more active now. And with that being said,
(04:57):
she needs all this assistance.
And then I remember one time I was either dropping off Hudson or making a phone
call or doing some work or something of that sort and came back after she had
gotten back for therapy. And then...
I noticed that she had a, I'm going to call it a stench.
(05:18):
I asked Cindy, told her, I commented, I said, hey, do you smell, by the way?
She said, yeah, I know. I have a dirty, I'm soiled.
I'm like, well, why didn't you call to get someone changed?
I did. I asked somebody to take me to the bathroom.
(05:40):
These are her message to me. And she was like, yeah, did they take you to the
bathroom? And she's like, yeah, they took me to the bathroom.
And I tried to go. And I can't remember the time if she did or she didn't.
But she mentioned to me that when her diaper was soiled, it had something there.
(06:02):
So when they pulled it down and
she she went when she
was quote-unquote done they pulled it up and put her back in bed and she wait
wait wait just just so we could get this straight this sounds completely odd
okay to a normal person i assume there is particles in her diaper so she went some in the toilet,
(06:27):
but before that, there was feces in her diaper.
They know that, obviously. They just pulled it back up.
That's what Cindy told me. She's like, all this. And before we get too far,
I cannot accuse anybody of anything because I did not see that play out.
(06:48):
But I was fortunate because that's her experience, right?
And sure enough, I'm like, so I, when I got there And I commented that,
and that's what she told me.
I'm like, what? That doesn't make sense. Why would anybody do that?
So I transferred her to the shower chair and rolled her in.
And sure enough, it was soiled. And I cleaned her up, and she did what she could do.
(07:14):
At this point of time, remember, she was having difficulty on her own fruition
being able to extricate.
And so, yeah. Yeah. And then, you know, along those same lines,
she told me the communication with the assistants was that they also made fun
(07:35):
of the size of my breasts. I'm like, what do you mean? It's like...
It was partly me asking all these questions and her nodding and partly her signing
and part of her trying to vocalize in a very strange voice.
But the sentiment was that, yeah, I was just being made fun of and it broke my heart.
(07:58):
It's just like one of those incidents that I mentioned in the other episode
where you've got to have somebody there.
You've got to have somebody to advocate there. If you're there,
likely things go as planned, or you're there to witness that it isn't what it
really seems. Who knows?
(08:18):
That's why it's important to have somebody there because you feel comfortable
more that way. You're advocating for that person.
That was stuck out to me because I'm like, who would do that and who does this?
But then we live in a crazy world where you see stories of people spitting on
pizza or doing this and that.
(08:39):
And so it was disheartening, to say the least.
It was another one of those takes where there's a reason why I can't leave her alone.
It's just moments like that that is coming back to me, and I'm recounting that. That sticks out to me.
And i wanted to bring that up to her in a conversation again and just to see
(09:05):
what her thoughts were about it and maybe one day but because i think at this point of time,
we're catching a point where she's becoming more cognitively aware and remembering things.
And it'll be one of those things where i could ask her like what were some of
the things that What really bothered you about your care? What were some of the things that,
(09:29):
That I could have helped with that. What could we have done better? Stuff like that.
And I think that there's a package there to unload, but that was one of the
incidents where I felt like she was neglected and then she was shamed.
Obviously, you don't have cameras and monitors in the patient's room because
(09:53):
she's not like a quote-unquote risk per se and a threat to her own life or anything like that.
So there's not much more you can do, but just kind of like do the best you can to be there for her.
I did comment and brought that to a supervisor.
And oftentimes when you're in the care of others for a long period of time.
(10:16):
It sometimes isn't about whether somebody's qualified. sometimes it's a matter
of personality mismatch, right?
Because you're not communicating well with this person.
They're reading between the lines the wrong way, whatever it may be.
So I had brought it up and said, I don't have evidence,
(10:40):
but I have my wife saying this, and that's enough for me, and we just need to
remove or rotate somebody else, which they're more than happy to do because
this happens more often than you'd think.
Not that incident, but the fact that people are not comfortable with certain
resources that are there.
And so you can request on part of the family or the patient to have other personnel
(11:06):
care for you. And that's what we did.
Well, I was just shaking my head said throughout most of that story.
Very disturbing to hear. Putting someone close to me like Jules in that position.
Oh my God. It just, I don't know if this is here nor there, but was that nurse male or female?
(11:29):
At the request of us, we wanted people, we wanted a female to really care for
Cindy because she had lost,
she needed assistance in sensitive areas and she we wanted to give her integrity
as a person so we asked for female okay not that there was any,
conflict or anything like that but.
(11:52):
That makes me feel a lot better. Not about the situation, but yes,
for Cindy's integrity, like you say.
Remember that she may not seem like an autonomous person,
an independent person that can do anything, can vocalize her needs,
and people can understand her and stuff like that.
(12:15):
But for me, it is very important that she had a voice.
She felt empowered. And when things like this happen, and she tells me this,
two things come up at this point in time.
Because she had a brain injury, and there's so many gray areas.
And like I said before, I'm not dismissing her, but I'm like, oh my gosh.
(12:38):
What does it feel like to be her? She must feel less of a person right now.
I'm like, everybody is doing stuff for me. I have no control.
I have to ask for permission for everything I do.
I've lost my privacy. I've lost my ability to do things at will.
And this is one of those things where it's just an added layer that says like,
(13:01):
gosh, I'm just trying to...
The fact of the matter is you've lost other things as well.
Well, you've lost the metaphysical part of you, which is like being a person
in your own right, being empowered, being able to just control your situation.
The other day I was watching the news and I was breaking news about a autistic
(13:26):
boy on a bus and there was a school bus aid and he was coming home.
Every other day or something like that with bruises on his arms and stuff like that.
And, you know, broken tooth, you know, kind of like marks on his body.
And they brought it to the attentions of the school. And the school says like,
well, that didn't happen in our care or anything like that.
(13:48):
Well, there was a video that surfaced and he was autistic, so he couldn't vocalize his stuff.
There's a school bus which shows that the school bus aid was taking shots at
this kid and he couldn't tell his parents what was going on he couldn't vocalize
it what do you mean taking shots punching him oh my goodness and they have it on film,
(14:14):
a teacher's aid yeah a bus aid.
There are the bus to help with the children
what in the world and they
decided to pick on the autistic kid it's an
autistic bus i believe right so all the kids okay it's
an autistic it's an aid right bus aid that's there so let's
(14:34):
go back well if cindy can't voice herself she's
in the same situation like i don't know if somebody's harming
you or hurting you or making fun of you because you
know you're now in the care of so many people and
different shifts and and i want to believe give the benefit of doubt the world
is a good place to proven different you know but in the real world like a story
(14:59):
like that you just start questioning everything and and it just broke my heart
because i can't be there all the time.
I just can't it's not i can't i can only be in one place at one time i can't
be in three Three different places, two different places.
And so I try to employ all the resources I have.
But again, I was praying,
(15:24):
hoping that the only way that we can control the situation is Cindy starts to
recover and gets a voice and be able to start telling me more.
And I can track these things and stuff like that. So it's very disheartening
because when you're helpless with somebody you want to help so much,
there's just heartbreak when something does happen.
(15:49):
I don't know. I'm just gathering my thoughts too. It makes me upset.
I mean, of course, these stories are going to make us upset.
Now we're in the rehab center.
Right. We're at inpatient rehab. We've started, you know. Past all this neglect.
And demeaning behavior now past that, I guess, where, where is Cindy now in her recovery?
(16:15):
And when you go through a brain injury, whether it be a stroke or anything of
that sort, there's a lot of things that get affected and get taken away really quickly.
But what comes back first are the profound things.
And so that's where we're at. We're at a stage where she's been bed bound and
(16:37):
now she's slowly coming to,
and now we're going to test her because she's kind of medically stable,
but we're going to test her and now we're kind of working on her mobility issues,
her eating issues and stuff like that.
So she's making profound gains here, which is amazing because now she's testing to eat ice cream.
(17:04):
There was issues with her eating hot foods, textured foods. She has to eat parade foods.
So now she's orally trying parade foods, practicing parade foods because she
does aspirate and she does silently aspirate.
So there are no overt signs when she is aspirating.
(17:29):
And so at this point of time, she's eating parade foods, a hybrid mix within
that and her feeding tube.
So feeding tube, majority of the time.
Trials with when she's in therapy with a speech therapist, she's trying parade foods.
(17:51):
And so it's a fresh breath of change because you're trying different things.
And now she's trying to do mobile things as in trying to sit in a chair and
just simply stand up, sit to stand.
How fast can she do that? How well can she do that? How stable can she do that?
How much assistance she needs to do that she's trying
(18:14):
to build strength so she's very
weak right she's lost a lot of weight and i think we mentioned before
that you know she's a small
girl to begin with and she was you know like she looked like she was a man she
just she looked frail and i and the feeding tube helped gain some of that but
she still had some ways to go i mean she was like in her 80-pound range or something like that.
(18:40):
And that's like, oh my gosh, that's like, I haven't- It's a skeleton. Yeah.
It's a lot of muscle atrophy as well, because she's been in the bed,
and she was unconscious for a while, and then she was trached,
and then she was just kind of like doing nothing other than laying in the bed.
And so trying to gain strength back, which requires exercise and food.
(19:04):
Those are hard things to do because she has deficiency in eating food and exercises
are hard because she was weak and she had atrophy.
So that's where she was at.
We were trying to do reading tests, cognitive exercises to see how well she's
processed things cognitively.
(19:27):
We did we mentioned that she had double vision so that was a challenge she had
to be retrofitted see a neuro-optometrist retrofitted with glasses that had
prisms in them to help align,
or fuse the image into one and continue to work with the you know neuro-optometrist
(19:49):
to kind of eventually get her eyes to do that on its own without any assistance distance.
Working her pronouncing words. She had a very weak, strained voice.
She had not been talking for months, right?
And now she was still accustomed to signing, which we had to break free of,
(20:10):
because now she had the ability to use her voice box again, her vocal cords.
So we visited the ENT to see how her vocal cords was doing, had to do some injections
to build some mass behind that because it had atrophy too.
Like her vocal cords looked like they were weakened, like they were not like they were before.
(20:36):
So just she had a lack of a cough. She couldn't do any volitional cough,
which is something that you want to have because when you and I aspirate,
we automatically, our body automatically coughs. And what does that do when you cough?
It expels the food that might otherwise go down the wrong pipe.
But she couldn't do that. That's why she decided on the aspirates.
(20:56):
A lot of the things that she's doing now is like found because you're seeing
improvements and there are clinical improvements because you can see them.
You don't have to take data measurements.
You don't have to have metrics of like this and that because that's later on
when you get to the nitty gritty.
But here you can see that, oh, I can understand what you're saying.
(21:17):
Or you can say one word now. Or you're not so tired after this amount of time.
Oh, you can stand up now. So those were some of the things that we're working on at this point of time.
And she slowly regains more of her physical mobility.
(21:37):
Inability, she has a shoulder supletion, which is probably due to her neurological
condition with her atrophy, so her shoulder had to be in a brace.
She had dorsiflexion, which means that she had tightness or inability to point
her toes upwards, and that's because she's been in the bed or muscles got tight, tendons get tight.
(22:02):
And if you're, for you and I, who often get up on a daily basis at one point
or another, we plant our foot and bear weight on our heels, where she did not do that for months.
And that sometimes presents itself in people who have these brain injuries who
are bed bound to be a problem, right?
So they had to build a cast for her as well to help build that flexibility again.
(22:27):
And the darkest times were well before then, and it's still challenging during
this period of time, but I think we were seeing an upside now, right?
And so it was getting more busier for her as well as for me.
I was having to attend a lot of team conferences. There was a lot of doctor's
(22:48):
appointments for her and Hudson.
I was advocating for her more and more so. I was well-informed.
I always touch base with the team.
Here's one thing, and I think I mentioned this before. I was learning at this
point of time to really be part of the process because they were starting to
train me. And I wanted to be hands-on.
(23:09):
How can I carry this over when she's not in active therapy?
What can I do for her? And so this place where she was at, where before she
was lacking was therapy,
this is where we began the hard work, the physical work, the mental part of
it is before we're trying to survive, stay alive,
we got to work, come back as close as we can to her normal baseline. line.
(23:33):
It's just at this time, she was slowly getting confidence again.
But there are just as much as good days, there's bad days.
In fact, during her time here, there was one time where she looked me dead in
the eye and said, I feel weird.
(23:56):
I said, what do you mean?
So she had she was vomiting and when you're
on a feeding tube and you haven't eaten for a long time
your body your stomach probably shrinks so when
you're and when you're on a feeding tube the the food just really doesn't go
through the process all the way down from doesn't take time going from your
(24:19):
mouth to you know your esophagus down to your stomach and down to your lower
stomach and gets digested.
So that takes time for you to feel full. But when you're pumping food,
sometimes you get full faster and you kind of vomit, like things will come up
because she couldn't take it.
And she couldn't say no when it was too much because there's a machine that
(24:40):
feeds her on a routine schedule, titrated.
It's kind of like feeds her X amount of time and it gets a little bit lower.
This time it's on a schedule or something like that, where somebody would administer
And I'd give them a schedule based on doctor's orders or nutritionist or dietician's orders.
And so it was not uncommon to see her vomit. But this time, like I said, she said she felt funny.
(25:02):
She just had vomited. She says, I quote, my head is not feeling right.
And that was a trigger for me because I'm like, oh, no. We just got...
Three, four months ago, we just got out of this. And don't tell me it's happening
(25:24):
again because it's a trigger because that night where everything happened that
started this whole journey,
there was certain events that transpired.
There were certain things that I knew that she was experiencing,
like a headache, like vomiting.
And then I took her temperature. I asked her, how does your head feel?
(25:50):
Do you feel like you have headaches?
I'm not sure. It's spinning right now. I feel nauseous. And just in an instant, I hit the call button.
I mean, I was panicking.
But at that very instant, I also became a leader.
Because when you get intaked into an emergency room or whatever,
(26:13):
you're having people who don't know your file. They don't know what you have.
They don't know what condition you're in. They don't know what medication you're
on. So they're trying to catch up real quick.
And so at this time, I think it was either, it was on a weekend.
So the staff didn't, the place didn't have this normal doctors per se had,
I think, residents on call and normal people were active on the roll.
(26:36):
And so they're all just kind of like, I hit the panic button.
There's basically several buttons you can click.
And then once you hit a certain particular button, it's all hands on deck and
the nurses come in and techs come in and then they try to get a doctor or something like that.
And I told her what I just told you. I was like, this is the onset.
(26:58):
These were the symptoms that she had when she had the brain bleed.
We need to get a scan right now, a stat.
We need to get a CT scan. I need to know. She's still on blood thinners.
I need to know right now because she's telling me, she's conveying to me that
she feels weird in the head.
And if she did not say that, then it'd be a different story.
(27:18):
But she said that, and she was vomiting, and she was nauseous, and she had a headache.
That, I was like, I got to know right now because we cannot, we just got this far.
I know how hard it was to get her past certain point to here.
So then the residents were ordering up like, okay, we need blood work and stuff
(27:41):
like that. I was like, okay.
And they were testing her speech, her ability. And I was telling them that,
okay, she's on blood thinners.
Let me tell you that right now. If she's bleeding, she's going to bleed out.
And by the way, because this happened before, I have historical information
to tell you that she doesn't have slurred speech when she had a brain bleed.
(28:02):
So you can't tell right now.
The best thing to do right now, and they were trying, at this time,
time was taking a long time because they were trying to find veins,
so they were pricking her once, twice, three times, switching arms.
And so she's kind of, it was a nightmare because it all came back right away.
And I was telling the seven, six, seven people in the room, I said,
(28:23):
okay, she has this, she has a history of this.
By the way, the onset of her injury, these were the symptoms.
And because we know this, and I told the nurse also, because she's due for blood
thinners, like hold the blood thinners, don't give her one right now,
because until we know what this is, while you're trying to do blood work.
(28:44):
We're trying to work her up.
You need to schedule a CT scan across the street right now because time is of
the essence and very quick with it.
And then I remember two residents talking to each other. He's like, he's right.
We need to do this. We should give her a CT scan based on her profile,
whatever. He says there's on this and that.
And boom, boom, boom, boom. And then I think maybe I want to say it was less
(29:07):
than an hour, maybe 30 minutes.
They just basically drew back I said, okay, we'll get her blood work later.
Let's get her reeled over to the hospital, which there was a tunnel from the
rehab center to the hospital, which was across the street to get a CT scan.
And that was, I mean, just a flood of stuff came up, floated up to me.
(29:29):
And I was just thinking the worst.
And this is like the night again. It's like, please, not again.
Don't do this to me. And I was just barely hanging on a thread.
I called her sister. her and said, and I just told her this,
we didn't have to say much. It was just consoling each other. I was like, why?
I was like, oh, please, please not again.
(29:51):
We haven't even recovered.
So I was in the waiting room, waiting, waiting, waiting, and eventually came
back and said, okay, there's evidence of a brain bleed, but it was in the past.
There's this and that. Basically, the radiologist or technologist read through
(30:12):
and kind of digested the scan and said that, okay, it looks normal.
I don't care if it was normal. normal, that reassured me that I can step back
and say, okay, I did what I could this time.
Last time, I don't know what's going on. This time, I know what's going on and I need to act on my mind.
And I just was just very worried during that leg, that trip going there that
(30:36):
I was going to have to make calls again to everybody.
And this is what life looks like for us because Because anytime she has a headache,
I have to do a playbook, play by play, actually my head and find out when,
how do we manage care going on fourth year?
Because we know there's a history there. People who don't have history of brain
(30:59):
bleeds or whatever, then you don't even know what to look for.
Like your wife could be having a headache and you're like, oh, you have a headache.
But if you knew she had a headache, she had a brain bleed or she had brain injury
before, you've been dealing with that, she has a headache. You think about other things.
And so how do we carry our life?
From here on forth. This is the tightrope I walk now.
(31:20):
Is a headache just a headache? Do I need to go to ER every single time?
But in this situation, this happened here. And I think I've been trying to work
with Cindy to tell her, do you remember what it felt like that night?
And she's like, yeah, I felt like a headache like no other.
Keep that in mind. Remind yourself, do not dismiss it if it's something dire,
(31:42):
but you have to know a line where it's like, okay, let's wait an hour,
see how it is versus this feels bad.
Let's go right now because time is important because I know.
What hell we were dealing with then and it just came all back.
So again, it's a mixed bag as you you go through this, right?
(32:04):
She's having profound gains doing slowly.
She's starting to socialize with her therapist because that's the only way she's
been able to kind of communicate.
And sometimes it's difficult because she doesn't have a voice.
And sometimes they look to me to translate, transcribe what she's doing.
(32:24):
And so I have to make sure that I'm there for her because if she's in pain or
she needs something, I have to be able to help with that.
"'I gotta say, Mo, I mean—',
any of us would be very lucky to have an advocate do what you did there.
And I mean, we could also see why you did it.
(32:44):
There was the part of you that felt you were insufficient that first night and,
you in no way, we're going to let that happen again.
And that was that story. You could really feel it well put, I would say,
because you took us on a journey there of technically walking on eggshells again.
(33:05):
As I was listening to the story, seven episodes in, I didn't even think about this happening again.
I'm not sure if you, in real time then, thought about this happening again until
she said that she felt funny.
Yeah, I knew that this was a possibility because I have an analytical mindset.
(33:27):
I think about all paths of outcome and what it means.
And so I knew, and I want to say my downtime, in the times that I'm not having
to actively do something, I think about backup plays, think about backup routines,
like what do we need to do in this area? I prepare.
(33:47):
To this day, when we take a trip, I investigate the hospital nearby.
We just did a trip, just a few, one of our first trip a few weeks ago at the
time of this recording here.
And I researched, okay, if there is an emergency, if she's having this and that,
(34:09):
that, what is my course of action?
Is it a helicopter lift because it's out of the middle of nowhere?
Is it trauma one center and stuff like that?
This is what I prepare for now. This is the life that I am trying to manage
here on forth because we have to be prepared.
Can't be caught off guard. I don't want to be having any type of regrets that
(34:33):
I did not do the best I could when I can do the best that I can, which is me.
This is me doing the best I can. So yeah, it's certainly in the course of this
recovery, anything can happen.
And I pray that they don't because we are trying diligently to manage her care.
(34:54):
She's working on monitoring, being in tune with her body, me being in tune with her.
And when our episodes and series catches up to present day, you'll be able to
see what our routine looks like. And you bringing that up.
I mean, you floated the possibility out there that she might be willing to jump
(35:18):
on this podcast and give us a few insights.
And I've been looking forward to that. I haven't talked to her since Hudson
was about, he wasn't even a year old yet when I met him.
What was he, six months old, seven months old or something like that?
The incident happened when he was eight months old so
(35:41):
you could have not met have met him past eight
months yeah he was just a baby and it's
gonna be i'm getting the chills just thinking about talking to
her hearing her voice and i asked
you off the air if my wife could sit in because they're
close also stay tuned right i
(36:03):
mean it's this is all organic there's all on naturally this
is raw emotions raw talk real talk whatever
you will it's not you know scripted in
any way so that's why pride doesn't sound
as perfect as it otherwise some
of other things that we produce might be but this is a journey for myself for
(36:28):
cindy for hudson and for people who can relate and for listeners and friends
and family like yourself to understand perhaps.
What we've been going through, what we're dealing with, because it is difficult
for me to have a sit down with almost everybody that wants to know this is my
(36:52):
way of getting therapy and broadcasting.
You know, our vulnerabilities because we would like to share because life is
precious and there are decisions you make.
There's things that you do. We're humbled by the experience.
We've transformed in a way where we want to, you know, at least I want to be
(37:16):
able to relate and share with others that may be going through the same thing, that you're not alone.
You know, it's, It's, it's, and everybody, I'm interested to hear other people
who has had similar experiences, what they had to deal with or how they even overcome things.
Because, you know, what brings joy to my eyes is a success story.
(37:37):
And that success is a quote unquote subjective one, right?
You know, everybody has their own thoughts of what they want out of life,
what they want, how they want to come back, you know.
That would be wonderful to read Anybody who wants to share their stories On
any of the podcast apps That you're listening to this with Right I think that
(38:01):
Where we are at this point of time Chronologically In this storytelling Is,
I'm starting to see,
Parts of Cindy That I have missed so much.
Popular Podcasts
New Heights with Jason & Travis Kelce
Football’s funniest family duo — Jason Kelce of the Philadelphia Eagles and Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs — team up to provide next-level access to life in the league as it unfolds. The two brothers and Super Bowl champions drop weekly insights about the weekly slate of games and share their INSIDE perspectives on trending NFL news and sports headlines. They also endlessly rag on each other as brothers do, chat the latest in pop culture and welcome some very popular and well-known friends to chat with them. Check out new episodes every Wednesday. Follow New Heights on the Wondery App, YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to new episodes early and ad-free, and get exclusive content on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. And join our new membership for a unique fan experience by going to the New Heights YouTube channel now!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!