July 29, 2024 • 40 mins
By now, you're familiar with my personal story and the journey that has shaped me. In this episode, we invite a special guest with a strong connection with Cindy. Listen to her describe her experience and provide feedback in her journey. Don't miss this moving episode that celebrates the power of sisterhood and the path towards healing.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
Welcome to another episode of Smiling Through the Pain.
By now you're familiar with my personal story, my journey, and the experiences that have shaped me.
However, today I want to share a person who has a unique connection with Cindy.
She has an integral part of her journey, standing by us during critical moments
and consistently offering her support.
(00:25):
Words alone cannot express the depth of gratitude we feel for her.
Her unwavering commitment to our family.
So without further ado, we have Sydney's sister, Lang, here for a heartfelt
conversation and her take.
Hello, Lang. Hello, Maurice.
Thank you for being here today. I know that during this series of episodes,
(00:48):
Sydney has been very eager to hear your point of view.
And today, you have graced us with your presence. since you were here on Memorial
Weekend to visit us, and this was a perfect opportunity.
So let's just start out with, how are you doing? Pretty good.
It's good to see Cindy doing well. So when she's doing well,
(01:10):
I feel like I'm in good spirits as well.
Right. So I think that, you know, I know that you two are very close.
Maybe let's just kind of talk about your relationship. Just kind of just in
general, how you guys grew up, how close you are.
Because I think your relationship as a sister, even so, is very unique, not really common.
(01:33):
I mean, it's like two peas in a pod. This is how I describe it.
But maybe just talk about your connection with her and maybe how you guys grew
up and the things you guys did together. Something like that.
Yeah, we have a really special connection.
Growing up, we weren't as close. She was always in her room studying and I was
(01:54):
always with my brother Mike playing with fire or something silly like that.
But we didn't get close until after college and that's when I really connected on a different level.
We would call each other every day, and we even had a special language.
We'd call it baby talk. I know it's very embarrassing, but I just get her, and she gets me.
(02:17):
And sometimes she doesn't even have to talk, and I already know what she's thinking,
or I can finish her sentences.
And so when she had her stroke, I felt like I had to be there,
because when she couldn't talk, I could talk for her.
Yeah, I know. I know you guys are very, very close. And that's,
you know, even, you know, I have siblings and I'm even envious with your relationship
(02:41):
because you have just an unwavering bond.
And like you said, it didn't start out as perhaps as strong as it did,
but it definitely, you know, grew very strong. And I could see that,
you know, when I met Cindy, all she did was talk about you and you've got to meet my sister.
And, you know, I felt like I had to get your approval before I could even get
(03:04):
her parents' approval, to be honest. That's probably true. Yeah.
So, I mean, you know, she has a congenital heart disease, something that she's
always lived with. And it's not only she has lived with that,
but your family has lived with that.
Has that affected you? Has that kind of, was that always part of your life?
Has that made you feel different about her?
(03:24):
I mean, what was your, you know, what was it like going through that and your
sister having to have those challenges or struggles if they were part of a challenge or a struggle?
So when she first had her surgery when she was eight, I was only four,
so I didn't really know what was going on.
But when she, as she grew up, she just had a different view in life.
(03:50):
She was very free spirited. And it was because she's.
I think it's because she didn't know she would live much longer.
So it didn't really affect how we were. It just really made her super special.
And it wasn't until she had her second open-heart surgery when I could really
(04:13):
understand all the struggles she went through in life.
I know this is very hard. Just take a moment there for a second.
Just kind of, you know, just think about it. And I know that,
you know, she has a special meaning in both of our hearts.
It's taken me very long to even talk about this. You know, I am also was a very fragile state too.
(04:35):
And, you know, with your help and with other support and just gave me the strength
to move on to do what I needed to do.
So I think, you know, I think that, you know, your emotions do not make you
any weaker. You're definitely a strong person that has been there for her.
And that's just, you know, that's just commendable.
(04:58):
I really admire that.
You know, you were talking about the fact that, you know, we were talking about
how she was growing up and she had these heart surgeries.
And in your heart, did you ever fear losing her or was it unwavering hope that
you always knew she would be around because she was a fighter? Yeah.
(05:20):
What was it that, what were you thinking? I always knew that she would come out of it.
Because I know she's a fighter and that, you know, the day after surgery when
we could come and see her for the first time, she always came back and she would
say something really funny or write something on a notepad.
(05:41):
But I always knew she'd come out of it each time.
I think what was hard was when we got older, you know, there was,
doctors would say she would only, this surgery would only be good for the next 10 years or so.
And so when she was, I guess her second heart surgery was when the doctor said
(06:04):
she will live until her 60s.
And so the surgeries after that, I felt pretty confident that I wouldn't have
to deal with losing her until we were in our retirement age.
So yeah, I always knew she would come out of it and she'd be fine.
(06:24):
But I always feared that one day something would happen and it would just be devastating.
Dating right right so yeah i mean you know that i know there's a lot to unload and talk about,
you know you have a lifetime of stories and lifetime of experiences
with each other and and you know she can she goes on about you and you go on
(06:47):
about her and you know you both have kids and you know there's stories and stories
among stories but you know i just want to fast for that and just you know get
some context about your relationship with her and what you've lived with and
what you've grown up with.
But let's talk about that fateful night that Cindy suffered or had a brain injury.
(07:09):
Do you remember me calling you? Do you remember me telling you what was going
through your mind at that moment?
I remember it very vividly. I remember the text messages throughout the day
saying that she was sick.
And I just felt like this was a little different.
(07:30):
And I was worried for her all day because she didn't text me.
Usually she texts me right away every day.
But she didn't text me that day at all. And I was talking to you,
Maurice, and it just kept getting later and later.
Later and I got really worried when you sent
me a text about her vomiting and I knew something was really wrong and I just
(07:53):
kept praying that she'll be okay and it wasn't until that night when you told
me that you had taken her to get a scan and it showed that she had a brain hemorrhage and,
it was late in the night I think it was around two or three in the morning and then my heart just sunk.
And then I told Danny, I said, I'm leaving right now.
(08:16):
And I was crying and I knew I had to be there no matter what. So I sent my boss a note.
I packed my bags. I don't even think I grabbed pajamas.
I just grabbed what I could think of at that moment.
And I just started driving to Dallas in tears.
Right, yeah, that pretty much sums it up.
(08:38):
I mean, as loving as you were, I would not expect anything less than that.
You just jumped up and left.
And in these series, Cindy has been an avid listener. It's really helped her.
It's a coping mechanism. It's been great for me. It's been cathartic.
(08:58):
And she even has came up with a list of questions to pick your brain and your
mind to figure out what your thoughts were for this and that.
But so I guess the listeners know the journey that Cindy's been through from
one place to the other place to the other place, up to the point we've caught up today.
And then now we have you as a special guest.
(09:21):
I guess one of the things that you wanted to know was what was the most difficult
part of this journey during her injury in the past two years for you?
The most challenging time was when she was in ICU in a coma for three weeks.
I think at that time there was a lot of unknown.
(09:42):
And all I could think of was her voice, how she would run down the halls.
And just being in Dallas and in her house, but her not being there felt really weird.
It did. It did. There was a moment where you and I shared where we were walking in the neighborhood,
(10:06):
and I remember we were approaching our home and thinking Cindy would always
kind of peek out and just be eagerly running towards us or waving.
Because she was ecstatic every time you came because she was,
you know, she couldn't find herself in, you know, a home where you guys lived a lot.
(10:32):
You know, that moment there was where we both can imagine it and it was hard for us to take in.
But, you know, the other difficult part, as you know, was, you know,
Cindy and I had a young child and it was trying to one hand move along,
take care and have somebody thrive.
And the other person tried to keep them alive and eventually recover and eventually thrive.
(10:55):
So, so, yeah, I totally understand that experience you're having as well.
I mean, that was a very dark time.
And, you know, and for me, it was, you know, quote, quote, the decision was
the hardest thing for me.
And I had sleepless nights about that.
(11:17):
Like, I did not want her to be tormented, whatever state he is,
and I didn't know what she was going to be in.
And, you know, but we know today that the decision made was the best for her.
So but yeah i
agree with you those were dark times the icu was dark times but let's
just kind of like see if we can just kind of flip the switch here and tell me
(11:42):
perhaps what was the what was your favorite part of the journey i know she wrote
these and i when when i read the first one i said there is no favorite part
of her journey but that's true that's true but if i could
describe it, it would be discharged from each phase.
If we had been discharged a week or a month prior, it didn't feel right.
(12:07):
Every time there was a discharge date, she had progressed and has taken as far
as she could at that facility.
And it was just a happy moment. She was ready to go, especially from BIR,
Baylor Institute for Rehabilitation, to PATE.
I remember that very vividly where she could actually get into the car herself
(12:30):
and we would drive to Pate and then get settled into her new dorm apartment.
We called it the dorm because it looked like a real home, you know,
with a bed and a little living room and a bathroom.
So those discharge moments were very memorable. And even from her going from
(12:52):
Pate to De Niro, that was an exciting time, too, because then she could just be at home every night.
And there were weeks where she wasn't ready to leave Pate.
But the day that she could go home, I could tell that she was really happy and
that she was ready for the next phase.
(13:13):
Right. And, you know, so I know you and your family don't live local to where Cindy and I live.
And so you kind of have to do this ping pong effect.
But every time you've had to go, how did you feel? And every time that you had
to come back, how did you feel?
And alongside with that, because I'm in the thick of it and I'm seeing her every
(13:33):
day, I may see improvements in a different way than you may see.
So maybe talk about that a little bit.
Yeah, so I live in Houston. And when it first happened, I would come up every
week and then telework and be there with her for a week and then go home for a week and come back.
(13:54):
And then as she progressed, I would come at least every two weeks.
And every time I came back, I could tell she was stronger. She could talk more clearly.
And just in her movements were a little quicker and she would show me her new tricks.
Every time I came. So it was really exciting to see her just improve just within a week.
(14:19):
I feel like when I was gone two weeks, it just seemed like forever.
But when I came back, you know, she was saying more things, her sentences were more complete.
And there was a time when she started texting me and it had been almost a year since she texted me.
And even texting hello was right,
(14:39):
special yeah it was a big thing so it's remarkable yes yeah I talked about in
the other episodes of the milestone she had from one milestone to the other to the other.
You know, you said there's no favorite part of this, and that's true because
nobody wants to be in this situation.
(15:00):
But when you improve that and you are progressing, that's a note of beauty, right?
You're progressing and, you know, there's hope there, right?
And Cindy said it herself in one of the episodes that the thing that kept her
motivated was progress because she saw some progress. She kept on moving forward.
(15:23):
She kept on pushing herself.
And, you know, she's a great student. You know, she was in school and she is in life.
She is very dedicated to, you know, her work ethics.
And so she would, you know, definitely do what it took to get back to us all.
And, you know, with that being said, I guess you talked about how she would
(15:48):
discharge from every single place.
What do you think was integral towards her recovery?
What was helping her to kind of like get better and thrive?
I think the Hudson definitely helped, and you, Maurice, but also just the amount
(16:11):
of support she got from family and friends.
I mean, someone was always there with her. We would joke that she was the only
one with somebody with her day and night.
You know, it's either you or my mom or me or a cousin or a friend.
She just had the biggest support system that kept her going.
(16:31):
And there was one night where it was my first night being there at paint.
And I would take her to the bathroom at night.
And she said, can I, can you help me walk? And I said, yes.
So I just kind of held her and she said, thank you for being here. And, um.
(16:53):
Of course I'd be there, but just her acknowledging that, you know,
it took a lot for me to be there and that she's always thinking about other people.
But just the amount of support she had and her willingness to keep going every
day, you know, even when she didn't see progress, she kept going.
She's just such a strong person and always thinking about other people.
(17:16):
Yes, I'll double down on that. That's the Cindy we all know.
You know, she's, you know, said it before, you know, this never defined her.
It was always, you know, she was going to be a very heartwarming person.
She always cared about everybody else.
And just the, she took, she didn't take things for granted.
(17:36):
She just, the little things you did for her, she never forgot and she remembered.
And she'd do a lot of things for you.
So, yeah, I think that definitely the support that we had, you know, you being there,
family And then, you know, I just try my best to always give her the tools,
(17:57):
the resources, and the body there to give her the fighting chance to make the best recovery she can.
And even to this day, we fight to the nil because we're still growing and that is the plan.
And so, but yeah, I, I think this is the special relationship that we have together
because, you know, we've kind of, you know, I,
(18:19):
we've been through a lot of the critical moments in Cindy's life,
especially as a, as an adult.
And especially in doing this journey right here, it's like she's been going through so much.
And that's why it was so precious to hear her interview with the other episode,
because she has so much to say.
And I was just kind of wondering what she thought. And at the same time,
(18:42):
she wanted to know what you thought.
And so she has been really...
Biggest fan of this podcast to be honest so that being said you know we're talking about,
you know her recovery what things kind of helped her along and then all the
(19:02):
discharges meant that she was progressing well i guess i should i should probably
ask you from her list of questions here.
What was there a moment or event that indicated that she was starting her long
road to recovery So before I say that, I've mentioned this before,
that there's not a pamphlet that a doctor gives you.
(19:23):
But when someone tells you this is going to be a long road, first off,
for me, I didn't know what to expect.
I didn't know what that looked like. And I'm sort of in tune with the healthcare
system and know a little bit about it.
But for you, did you know that this long road would be like this?
(19:44):
So the doctors kept saying that in ICU, and they kept saying this is going to be a long road ahead.
And that kind of played into our decision for her trach.
And I didn't know that the amount of damage she sustained, that she'd have to
relearn everything again, even swallowing or putting on her shirt. it.
(20:09):
So the moment I realized it would be a very
long journey was at BIR when she was learning how to swallow and we would have
to put ice cubes in a glove and then get her to try to have that swallowing
motion and just kind of see her swallow.
(20:30):
And I was thinking, wow, it's just things things that are natural for people
to do, she has to relearn again.
And even showering, I would be there with her every time they would shower her.
And just things like how to reach for the nozzle and how to shampoo your hair.
(20:53):
And then after all of that, how to put on a shirt. And.
Just watching her struggle through that was very hard for me to see.
Oh, yeah. I think that just shows how much empathy we have and how much love
we have for people, especially for her.
(21:15):
Because, you know, I always ask myself, like, she, you know,
of all the people, why her?
She doesn't deserve this. I mean, what?
You know, she's done so much. And it's hard, for me, it was hard to,
you know, kind of grapple with that, you know, to see the fundamentals of the
(21:35):
things that you said, there's natural, you know, when Hudson,
when this happened, Hudson was eight months old, and to see him start to learn
to walk the same time Sidney learned to walk, to him trying to talk the same
time that Sidney was trying to talk, you know, for him to kind of start,
you know, doing some of the things he was progressing and thriving forward,
(21:57):
because that's natural.
Natural, whereas Cindy had regressed and now is trying to, I guess,
quote unquote, remember, recover, rehabilitate, all those things.
And that's very hard because as an adult, it's not supposed to happen, right?
And so that's very hard for me too.
(22:19):
It's hard to see, you know, your parents go through that,
you know, when they're older and you know
they kind of naturally through the natural
progression of progressions of aging you just sort of
your body just starts to break down but
from somebody middle-aged that isn't
(22:39):
supposed to happen there's just so much to live for and I found
it difficult for myself because I've lost like
you said like she was trying to learn how to sequence her
steps to be able to do these fundamental things how could
she at this point of time take care of
me much less hudson now and i
know that must have been hard for her and that's you know i i asked her you
(23:03):
know what it feel like to be taken away as a mother you know as a wife you know
as you know all this other stuff and you know it is hard for all of us and and
so i think that all your your sponsors your
sentiments are in line with how much you love her. So, yeah.
(23:24):
Is there any part of this journey that you gravitate to, you want to talk about
more, or do you have, you know, there's been so much memories and experiences that we've had,
and I know there's things that stick out in your head more than others,
but on top of your head, you know, I'm sure Cindy would appreciate.
(23:45):
Through any notes that you wanted to speak towards. Yeah, there's...
A memory that I always think about, which was at Pate.
And in the evenings when the weather was nice, we would go out for walks.
And during the week when my mom was there, she didn't really take her out for
(24:07):
walks until I started to do it.
And then Cindy would ask her to take her out for walks, but it wasn't really a walk.
I would be pushing her in a wheelchair and then I would just,
you know, just talk to her like, like old times.
And at, at certain parts of the walk, I would ask her questions and record her
just as a documentary of her speech.
(24:29):
And I would ask her these really funny things.
And then I'd give her some time to think about it during the walk. And then we'd record it.
And she was just funny as ever, super clever. But the funniest parts was when
I would push her up the hill and I would make a comment of how heavy she is.
And she would just laugh because I was doing all the work and we would just go to a big circle.
(24:56):
But when it got towards, you know, up the hill of the parking lot,
we would just start laughing as I was huffing and puffing, getting her up to the top there.
But she was just, you know, funny as ever, super positive.
And just watching the sunset with her each night was really special.
(25:18):
Yeah, those are great memories. Even though it was the toughest of times,
you'll still be able to kind of, you know, catalog some of those experiences.
You know, she was still herself. And fortunately, cognitively,
you know, she was still there.
And, And, you know, we have to count our blessings for that,
at least, that physically she may be limited, but, you know,
(25:42):
her heart was still strong and her mind was still sharp.
You know, she still could recount very deep details about things.
She could recount them all. And so that was very impressive to me as we were
going through therapy and I was trying to kind of clinically observe her and
(26:05):
track her progress and stuff like that.
And that being said, you know, this, I would call this unique relation we have
other than the part that we're, you know, family is that I appreciate,
you know, the bond you guys had. I really felt that.
Made a difference as far as like how our family can keep going on because i'm very,
(26:31):
tied down i don't you know i could
easily have just kind of you know
fall into a very very dark place but you know
with every little help i had from you
and family it certainly raised me up so that
being said is there things that
you know you could appreciate
(26:53):
or you there's something that you could i guess you can appreciate that what
i've done for her or there's something that i could have done more for her is
there you know i know that's a very you know open-ended question but i've always
wondered because i'm the biggest critic of myself and i feel like i've always
have not done enough.
(27:15):
In hindsight, it's 2020. I've come to terms with that.
But for somebody like yourself that I admire, and I'm always wanting to know
that I want to get your sister back to you.
I want her to be there for me and for you again, and for Hudson and for everybody that she has loved.
(27:36):
Do you feel like...
The best that we could? I really feel that we have.
And it's thanks to you because you've given over 100% of yourself.
And even though sometimes I think, I don't know if he has more to give,
but you do and you still advocate for her every step of the way,
(27:59):
just getting everything settled with insurance and her therapy.
I knew she married the right person when this happened because I I don't know
if anyone would have done better than what you've done, Maurice.
And I can't thank you enough for everything that you've done for her.
You've stood by her side.
And just even the first step of getting her physical therapy when she was in
(28:25):
LTAC, you know, at first I was like, is she ready for this?
But then as I look back, like you said, hindsight,
you know, even her first session where she was trying to put the rings into
the cone and she couldn't do
it with her left hand and she used her right hand to help her left hand.
(28:47):
I was like, wow, she's still there, but she couldn't communicate at that time.
But just advocating for her and pushing and fighting for her.
I really do believe every step of the way we've made the best choice.
And I leaned a lot on you, Maurice, because you were there.
You're there every day and you're dealing with all the paperwork and doctors
(29:08):
and all that. And I really believe that it's because of you that she's still
with us and that she is making the progress that she has been.
And I think that's the most important thing is she's here.
She's doing well. She remembers things, even things from way in the past.
(29:30):
And she's able to process and calculate and love and care just like she did before.
And I think that's all because of the little steps along the way that you've
helped her. her get here.
I appreciate that. Yeah. I, I'm just, I'm always kind of researching and looking
for the best solution, alternative therapies and what it is and whatnot.
(29:52):
And we just keep pushing forward. I think you and I play off of each other,
you know, sometimes, you know, your emotions are very raw and I guess,
are you able to cope or is it because of our progress or is it,
or maybe it's like maybe out of sight and then you feel a bit better.
I know when we talk about it, it's triggering, isn't it?
(30:13):
It kind of, it floods, there's a flood of emotions that just kind of bubble up and you can feel it.
And I mean, how are you doing? How are you coping with this whole process?
I think over the past year and a half or so, I've just, I haven't been this
emotional about it until I think back about it.
And so I've kind of not been very emotional at all since LTAC.
(30:38):
And you know I always tell
people who go through things like where you are now is it
going to be where you are in the future and Sydney
is a testament of that just seeing her you know in the ICU twitching her leg
I couldn't see past that but as we see her today you know she's a testament
(30:59):
of someone who could keep trying and you know miracles really do happen and just,
I know I opened up with saying, as long as she's doing well, I'm doing well.
And I feel like, you know, it.
It is a positive experience just seeing her. And I've been pretty strong until this podcast, I think.
(31:24):
No, no, you've been very strong. I know, I think everybody copes and everybody
kind of talks about their experiences differently.
You know, for me, this podcast has been sort of like an outlet because I know,
to me, venting doesn't really do much for me.
I have an analytical mind. And so it's about progress.
(31:48):
And so I know that the stem of this is I felt very alone.
It didn't matter if you were with me, like you were, our other family.
We all have our own path to walk. It's a very unique situation.
No experience, relationship with Cindy is the same. And I was very alone.
And I don't want anybody to feel that way.
(32:10):
I have the strength to do this because I want anybody who's out there listening
that if you're remotely going through this or you're having a dark time or you
have an injury like this and you can relate, you're not alone.
We can take some of this and use it for strength to move forward,
(32:32):
even though it's not the same exact thing.
But you're not alone, as I've realized.
I'm not alone. When Sydney went from one facility to the next,
you're surrounded by other survivors of TBI, traumatic brain injury.
Other people had challenges, and some are more severe and some are less. And...
(32:53):
Guess the saying goes you know comparison is the thief of
joy and when i would look at other
families or other couples and they just get a haircut or they go to the restaurant
without any challenging and logistical issues that was very hard for me because
we had that and you know i i struggled with that and i was very alone in that
(33:15):
because nobody understood it down
to the details when you go home at night to sleep and then you have to go do
this do that and so that was that's for me to tell you guys out there that if
you feel that way you feel trapped,
i felt that way too and you're not alone and this
(33:38):
will pass you know we're here today and we
continue to move forward and there are better days
are not behind you and that's why i tell every
single day and you have your ups and
downs but you know i think
that that's life and so that
was you know for me it's giving
(33:59):
me more strength and i know that because we're talking about
this right now it's sort of very raw because you really haven't had to really
focus and fixate on these memories you know i know that perhaps you have you
had a chance so you can look back at had videos or photos of her early days during this emergency?
(34:22):
I have them in my phone and I glance through them, but it's still hard for me
to look through it, especially the ICU days.
But the videos that we would take of me asking her questions,
I do look at those and just to see her progress.
But it's usually hard for me to kind of look back, especially times when it
(34:44):
triggers certain emotions.
So I have yet to do all the videos that I've taken, but I've got a ton.
Yeah, I think it was difficult for me to take photos and videos when the task
at hand was just kind of caretaking.
And there was only a certain point I was like, I was doing it for the sole reason
(35:07):
I was taking videos is for progress.
It was not even for memory at all. I was like, I got to know if she's getting better.
I got to know if we're doing the right things because I was just kind of getting
a lot of data as much as I could. So I was approaching it from that end.
But, yeah, it's, you know, as I started to go through this podcast and recount,
(35:29):
and you know that, you know, we hosted events for Hudson's birthdays or celebration
events for Cindy and stuff like that.
And I generally give a speech and I can't even barely hold it together.
I'm always breaking down and because it's very raw and it takes me back.
And so, yeah, I, you know, I, when you talk about it, you know,
(35:52):
you do all the things you want and you'll be perfectly fine.
But when you talk about it, you think about it, it definitely takes you down
a path, you know, and makes you relive that moment.
And it's very raw. so that being
said i know that this has been very difficult for
you to talk about to you know we've been almost a two-year anniversary now from
(36:15):
the injury and that's something to celebrate because she's still here yeah and
so with that being said she'd like to know what would you want for her in the next five years?
I want her to be the best version of herself in five years.
And knowing who she is, she'll keep going, keep improving.
(36:38):
She makes her own little therapy sessions over the weekend.
And I know that she'd want to go back to work and walk.
And so in the next five years, I know she'll be able to.
Go back to work, some type of telework. And I know she doesn't like interacting
with people too much, but I'm sure she could find something. She's super smart.
(37:03):
And even walking, I feel like she will be able to walk one day without a device.
And also just find her groove with Hudson and being a mom.
And right now she's trying her best to help every way she can.
If it's not the physical things. She would help prepare his snacks and his lunch every day.
(37:25):
And some of the unseen things she would do, and she's always busy just doing stuff with him in mind.
So in the next five years, I do want to see her more involved with him and more
interactive and just finding ways to insert her self back into his life.
And I know, I love that he calls her mommy. And it's really sweet when he's
(37:50):
in time out and he calls for mommy because he knows that she'd be there for him.
But I do want to see more interaction with her and Hudson. I know she will get there.
Yeah, well, I guess she can't wait to hear all of your responses to her questions here.
What do you think she would say to the things you've said tonight or today?
(38:13):
I think it wouldn't be the first time, because we talk a lot and I always say,
hey, remember that time? And then we just laugh about it.
But I never cried with her because I tried not to, just to be strong,
but I think she would enjoy it.
I think she wouldn't be expecting to hear the story about Sandra,
(38:34):
we would call her crazy Sandra.
When the time when she was helping her shower and she just put her on the bed,
but didn't realize she couldn't hold herself up.
And Cindy ended up just kind of laying back into the bed and I was screaming.
But that was one of the funniest moments that we keep talking about.
(38:56):
But I think she wouldn't be surprised at any of the answers.
Right. Well, Elyse, you graced us with your presence here because she's been
wanting to hear your take.
Again, she's the biggest fan of this because there's a part of it in early and
(39:17):
in the emergent stages where she was pretty much unconscious and didn't really know what happened.
And she was so interested in all the events that transpired,
even the things that were not taking place with her, what was happening outside in life.
I think she's back at social media, just looking at it. Taylor Swift has a new
(39:39):
album or something like that, you know, and stuff like that.
Or who's this and who's that. I know also that's changed her in many different
ways as well as what really matters now. in the previous episode talked about that.
So I guess, you know, again, that being said, thank you for your strength and support for our family.
(40:00):
Any lasting comments and anything
for Cindy, myself, or listeners that are perhaps going through this?
I think the most important part is to keep going, you know, take it one day at a time.
Time and even during the
(40:21):
darkest times just find a light find the
reason why you're still here if you're still breathing you
still have a purpose in this world and you
know i think everyone is a blessing
in one way or another and definitely
cindy is a huge blessing to many people and it's pretty evident by the just
(40:43):
the amount of support that she has and there really is no one like her and I
feel like every person is unique in their own way and each person has a purpose.
And so just keep going even though it may not seem like you're going anywhere
(41:03):
at the moment. It's just not where you're going to end up.
So just have faith and be strong and just take it one day at a time.
Right. Thank you very much for being here and in supporting us as much as you do.
And until next time, hopefully we'll hear from you again.
Music.
Welcome to another episode of Smiling Through the Pain.
By now you're familiar with my personal story, my journey, and the experiences that have shaped me.
However, today I want to share a person who has a unique connection with Cindy.
She has an integral part of her journey, standing by us during critical moments
and consistently offering her support.
(00:25):
Words alone cannot express the depth of gratitude we feel for her.
Her unwavering commitment to our family.
So without further ado, we have Sydney's sister, Lang, here for a heartfelt
conversation and her take.
Hello, Lang. Hello, Maurice.
Thank you for being here today. I know that during this series of episodes,
(00:48):
Sydney has been very eager to hear your point of view.
And today, you have graced us with your presence. since you were here on Memorial
Weekend to visit us, and this was a perfect opportunity.
So let's just start out with, how are you doing? Pretty good.
It's good to see Cindy doing well. So when she's doing well,
(01:10):
I feel like I'm in good spirits as well.
Right. So I think that, you know, I know that you two are very close.
Maybe let's just kind of talk about your relationship. Just kind of just in
general, how you guys grew up, how close you are.
Because I think your relationship as a sister, even so, is very unique, not really common.
(01:33):
I mean, it's like two peas in a pod. This is how I describe it.
But maybe just talk about your connection with her and maybe how you guys grew
up and the things you guys did together. Something like that.
Yeah, we have a really special connection.
Growing up, we weren't as close. She was always in her room studying and I was
(01:54):
always with my brother Mike playing with fire or something silly like that.
But we didn't get close until after college and that's when I really connected on a different level.
We would call each other every day, and we even had a special language.
We'd call it baby talk. I know it's very embarrassing, but I just get her, and she gets me.
(02:17):
And sometimes she doesn't even have to talk, and I already know what she's thinking,
or I can finish her sentences.
And so when she had her stroke, I felt like I had to be there,
because when she couldn't talk, I could talk for her.
Yeah, I know. I know you guys are very, very close. And that's,
you know, even, you know, I have siblings and I'm even envious with your relationship
(02:41):
because you have just an unwavering bond.
And like you said, it didn't start out as perhaps as strong as it did,
but it definitely, you know, grew very strong. And I could see that,
you know, when I met Cindy, all she did was talk about you and you've got to meet my sister.
And, you know, I felt like I had to get your approval before I could even get
(03:04):
her parents' approval, to be honest. That's probably true. Yeah.
So, I mean, you know, she has a congenital heart disease, something that she's
always lived with. And it's not only she has lived with that,
but your family has lived with that.
Has that affected you? Has that kind of, was that always part of your life?
Has that made you feel different about her?
(03:24):
I mean, what was your, you know, what was it like going through that and your
sister having to have those challenges or struggles if they were part of a challenge or a struggle?
So when she first had her surgery when she was eight, I was only four,
so I didn't really know what was going on.
But when she, as she grew up, she just had a different view in life.
(03:50):
She was very free spirited. And it was because she's.
I think it's because she didn't know she would live much longer.
So it didn't really affect how we were. It just really made her super special.
And it wasn't until she had her second open-heart surgery when I could really
(04:13):
understand all the struggles she went through in life.
I know this is very hard. Just take a moment there for a second.
Just kind of, you know, just think about it. And I know that,
you know, she has a special meaning in both of our hearts.
It's taken me very long to even talk about this. You know, I am also was a very fragile state too.
(04:35):
And, you know, with your help and with other support and just gave me the strength
to move on to do what I needed to do.
So I think, you know, I think that, you know, your emotions do not make you
any weaker. You're definitely a strong person that has been there for her.
And that's just, you know, that's just commendable.
(04:58):
I really admire that.
You know, you were talking about the fact that, you know, we were talking about
how she was growing up and she had these heart surgeries.
And in your heart, did you ever fear losing her or was it unwavering hope that
you always knew she would be around because she was a fighter? Yeah.
(05:20):
What was it that, what were you thinking? I always knew that she would come out of it.
Because I know she's a fighter and that, you know, the day after surgery when
we could come and see her for the first time, she always came back and she would
say something really funny or write something on a notepad.
(05:41):
But I always knew she'd come out of it each time.
I think what was hard was when we got older, you know, there was,
doctors would say she would only, this surgery would only be good for the next 10 years or so.
And so when she was, I guess her second heart surgery was when the doctor said
(06:04):
she will live until her 60s.
And so the surgeries after that, I felt pretty confident that I wouldn't have
to deal with losing her until we were in our retirement age.
So yeah, I always knew she would come out of it and she'd be fine.
(06:24):
But I always feared that one day something would happen and it would just be devastating.
Dating right right so yeah i mean you know that i know there's a lot to unload and talk about,
you know you have a lifetime of stories and lifetime of experiences
with each other and and you know she can she goes on about you and you go on
(06:47):
about her and you know you both have kids and you know there's stories and stories
among stories but you know i just want to fast for that and just you know get
some context about your relationship with her and what you've lived with and
what you've grown up with.
But let's talk about that fateful night that Cindy suffered or had a brain injury.
(07:09):
Do you remember me calling you? Do you remember me telling you what was going
through your mind at that moment?
I remember it very vividly. I remember the text messages throughout the day
saying that she was sick.
And I just felt like this was a little different.
(07:30):
And I was worried for her all day because she didn't text me.
Usually she texts me right away every day.
But she didn't text me that day at all. And I was talking to you,
Maurice, and it just kept getting later and later.
Later and I got really worried when you sent
me a text about her vomiting and I knew something was really wrong and I just
(07:53):
kept praying that she'll be okay and it wasn't until that night when you told
me that you had taken her to get a scan and it showed that she had a brain hemorrhage and,
it was late in the night I think it was around two or three in the morning and then my heart just sunk.
And then I told Danny, I said, I'm leaving right now.
(08:16):
And I was crying and I knew I had to be there no matter what. So I sent my boss a note.
I packed my bags. I don't even think I grabbed pajamas.
I just grabbed what I could think of at that moment.
And I just started driving to Dallas in tears.
Right, yeah, that pretty much sums it up.
(08:38):
I mean, as loving as you were, I would not expect anything less than that.
You just jumped up and left.
And in these series, Cindy has been an avid listener. It's really helped her.
It's a coping mechanism. It's been great for me. It's been cathartic.
(08:58):
And she even has came up with a list of questions to pick your brain and your
mind to figure out what your thoughts were for this and that.
But so I guess the listeners know the journey that Cindy's been through from
one place to the other place to the other place, up to the point we've caught up today.
And then now we have you as a special guest.
(09:21):
I guess one of the things that you wanted to know was what was the most difficult
part of this journey during her injury in the past two years for you?
The most challenging time was when she was in ICU in a coma for three weeks.
I think at that time there was a lot of unknown.
(09:42):
And all I could think of was her voice, how she would run down the halls.
And just being in Dallas and in her house, but her not being there felt really weird.
It did. It did. There was a moment where you and I shared where we were walking in the neighborhood,
(10:06):
and I remember we were approaching our home and thinking Cindy would always
kind of peek out and just be eagerly running towards us or waving.
Because she was ecstatic every time you came because she was,
you know, she couldn't find herself in, you know, a home where you guys lived a lot.
(10:32):
You know, that moment there was where we both can imagine it and it was hard for us to take in.
But, you know, the other difficult part, as you know, was, you know,
Cindy and I had a young child and it was trying to one hand move along,
take care and have somebody thrive.
And the other person tried to keep them alive and eventually recover and eventually thrive.
(10:55):
So, so, yeah, I totally understand that experience you're having as well.
I mean, that was a very dark time.
And, you know, and for me, it was, you know, quote, quote, the decision was
the hardest thing for me.
And I had sleepless nights about that.
(11:17):
Like, I did not want her to be tormented, whatever state he is,
and I didn't know what she was going to be in.
And, you know, but we know today that the decision made was the best for her.
So but yeah i
agree with you those were dark times the icu was dark times but let's
just kind of like see if we can just kind of flip the switch here and tell me
(11:42):
perhaps what was the what was your favorite part of the journey i know she wrote
these and i when when i read the first one i said there is no favorite part
of her journey but that's true that's true but if i could
describe it, it would be discharged from each phase.
If we had been discharged a week or a month prior, it didn't feel right.
(12:07):
Every time there was a discharge date, she had progressed and has taken as far
as she could at that facility.
And it was just a happy moment. She was ready to go, especially from BIR,
Baylor Institute for Rehabilitation, to PATE.
I remember that very vividly where she could actually get into the car herself
(12:30):
and we would drive to Pate and then get settled into her new dorm apartment.
We called it the dorm because it looked like a real home, you know,
with a bed and a little living room and a bathroom.
So those discharge moments were very memorable. And even from her going from
(12:52):
Pate to De Niro, that was an exciting time, too, because then she could just be at home every night.
And there were weeks where she wasn't ready to leave Pate.
But the day that she could go home, I could tell that she was really happy and
that she was ready for the next phase.
(13:13):
Right. And, you know, so I know you and your family don't live local to where Cindy and I live.
And so you kind of have to do this ping pong effect.
But every time you've had to go, how did you feel? And every time that you had
to come back, how did you feel?
And alongside with that, because I'm in the thick of it and I'm seeing her every
(13:33):
day, I may see improvements in a different way than you may see.
So maybe talk about that a little bit.
Yeah, so I live in Houston. And when it first happened, I would come up every
week and then telework and be there with her for a week and then go home for a week and come back.
(13:54):
And then as she progressed, I would come at least every two weeks.
And every time I came back, I could tell she was stronger. She could talk more clearly.
And just in her movements were a little quicker and she would show me her new tricks.
Every time I came. So it was really exciting to see her just improve just within a week.
(14:19):
I feel like when I was gone two weeks, it just seemed like forever.
But when I came back, you know, she was saying more things, her sentences were more complete.
And there was a time when she started texting me and it had been almost a year since she texted me.
And even texting hello was right,
(14:39):
special yeah it was a big thing so it's remarkable yes yeah I talked about in
the other episodes of the milestone she had from one milestone to the other to the other.
You know, you said there's no favorite part of this, and that's true because
nobody wants to be in this situation.
(15:00):
But when you improve that and you are progressing, that's a note of beauty, right?
You're progressing and, you know, there's hope there, right?
And Cindy said it herself in one of the episodes that the thing that kept her
motivated was progress because she saw some progress. She kept on moving forward.
(15:23):
She kept on pushing herself.
And, you know, she's a great student. You know, she was in school and she is in life.
She is very dedicated to, you know, her work ethics.
And so she would, you know, definitely do what it took to get back to us all.
And, you know, with that being said, I guess you talked about how she would
(15:48):
discharge from every single place.
What do you think was integral towards her recovery?
What was helping her to kind of like get better and thrive?
I think the Hudson definitely helped, and you, Maurice, but also just the amount
(16:11):
of support she got from family and friends.
I mean, someone was always there with her. We would joke that she was the only
one with somebody with her day and night.
You know, it's either you or my mom or me or a cousin or a friend.
She just had the biggest support system that kept her going.
(16:31):
And there was one night where it was my first night being there at paint.
And I would take her to the bathroom at night.
And she said, can I, can you help me walk? And I said, yes.
So I just kind of held her and she said, thank you for being here. And, um.
(16:53):
Of course I'd be there, but just her acknowledging that, you know,
it took a lot for me to be there and that she's always thinking about other people.
But just the amount of support she had and her willingness to keep going every
day, you know, even when she didn't see progress, she kept going.
She's just such a strong person and always thinking about other people.
(17:16):
Yes, I'll double down on that. That's the Cindy we all know.
You know, she's, you know, said it before, you know, this never defined her.
It was always, you know, she was going to be a very heartwarming person.
She always cared about everybody else.
And just the, she took, she didn't take things for granted.
(17:36):
She just, the little things you did for her, she never forgot and she remembered.
And she'd do a lot of things for you.
So, yeah, I think that definitely the support that we had, you know, you being there,
family And then, you know, I just try my best to always give her the tools,
(17:57):
the resources, and the body there to give her the fighting chance to make the best recovery she can.
And even to this day, we fight to the nil because we're still growing and that is the plan.
And so, but yeah, I, I think this is the special relationship that we have together
because, you know, we've kind of, you know, I,
(18:19):
we've been through a lot of the critical moments in Cindy's life,
especially as a, as an adult.
And especially in doing this journey right here, it's like she's been going through so much.
And that's why it was so precious to hear her interview with the other episode,
because she has so much to say.
And I was just kind of wondering what she thought. And at the same time,
(18:42):
she wanted to know what you thought.
And so she has been really...
Biggest fan of this podcast to be honest so that being said you know we're talking about,
you know her recovery what things kind of helped her along and then all the
(19:02):
discharges meant that she was progressing well i guess i should i should probably
ask you from her list of questions here.
What was there a moment or event that indicated that she was starting her long
road to recovery So before I say that, I've mentioned this before,
that there's not a pamphlet that a doctor gives you.
(19:23):
But when someone tells you this is going to be a long road, first off,
for me, I didn't know what to expect.
I didn't know what that looked like. And I'm sort of in tune with the healthcare
system and know a little bit about it.
But for you, did you know that this long road would be like this?
(19:44):
So the doctors kept saying that in ICU, and they kept saying this is going to be a long road ahead.
And that kind of played into our decision for her trach.
And I didn't know that the amount of damage she sustained, that she'd have to
relearn everything again, even swallowing or putting on her shirt. it.
(20:09):
So the moment I realized it would be a very
long journey was at BIR when she was learning how to swallow and we would have
to put ice cubes in a glove and then get her to try to have that swallowing
motion and just kind of see her swallow.
(20:30):
And I was thinking, wow, it's just things things that are natural for people
to do, she has to relearn again.
And even showering, I would be there with her every time they would shower her.
And just things like how to reach for the nozzle and how to shampoo your hair.
(20:53):
And then after all of that, how to put on a shirt. And.
Just watching her struggle through that was very hard for me to see.
Oh, yeah. I think that just shows how much empathy we have and how much love
we have for people, especially for her.
(21:15):
Because, you know, I always ask myself, like, she, you know,
of all the people, why her?
She doesn't deserve this. I mean, what?
You know, she's done so much. And it's hard, for me, it was hard to,
you know, kind of grapple with that, you know, to see the fundamentals of the
(21:35):
things that you said, there's natural, you know, when Hudson,
when this happened, Hudson was eight months old, and to see him start to learn
to walk the same time Sidney learned to walk, to him trying to talk the same
time that Sidney was trying to talk, you know, for him to kind of start,
you know, doing some of the things he was progressing and thriving forward,
(21:57):
because that's natural.
Natural, whereas Cindy had regressed and now is trying to, I guess,
quote unquote, remember, recover, rehabilitate, all those things.
And that's very hard because as an adult, it's not supposed to happen, right?
And so that's very hard for me too.
(22:19):
It's hard to see, you know, your parents go through that,
you know, when they're older and you know
they kind of naturally through the natural
progression of progressions of aging you just sort of
your body just starts to break down but
from somebody middle-aged that isn't
(22:39):
supposed to happen there's just so much to live for and I found
it difficult for myself because I've lost like
you said like she was trying to learn how to sequence her
steps to be able to do these fundamental things how could
she at this point of time take care of
me much less hudson now and i
know that must have been hard for her and that's you know i i asked her you
(23:03):
know what it feel like to be taken away as a mother you know as a wife you know
as you know all this other stuff and you know it is hard for all of us and and
so i think that all your your sponsors your
sentiments are in line with how much you love her. So, yeah.
(23:24):
Is there any part of this journey that you gravitate to, you want to talk about
more, or do you have, you know, there's been so much memories and experiences that we've had,
and I know there's things that stick out in your head more than others,
but on top of your head, you know, I'm sure Cindy would appreciate.
(23:45):
Through any notes that you wanted to speak towards. Yeah, there's...
A memory that I always think about, which was at Pate.
And in the evenings when the weather was nice, we would go out for walks.
And during the week when my mom was there, she didn't really take her out for
(24:07):
walks until I started to do it.
And then Cindy would ask her to take her out for walks, but it wasn't really a walk.
I would be pushing her in a wheelchair and then I would just,
you know, just talk to her like, like old times.
And at, at certain parts of the walk, I would ask her questions and record her
just as a documentary of her speech.
(24:29):
And I would ask her these really funny things.
And then I'd give her some time to think about it during the walk. And then we'd record it.
And she was just funny as ever, super clever. But the funniest parts was when
I would push her up the hill and I would make a comment of how heavy she is.
And she would just laugh because I was doing all the work and we would just go to a big circle.
(24:56):
But when it got towards, you know, up the hill of the parking lot,
we would just start laughing as I was huffing and puffing, getting her up to the top there.
But she was just, you know, funny as ever, super positive.
And just watching the sunset with her each night was really special.
(25:18):
Yeah, those are great memories. Even though it was the toughest of times,
you'll still be able to kind of, you know, catalog some of those experiences.
You know, she was still herself. And fortunately, cognitively,
you know, she was still there.
And, And, you know, we have to count our blessings for that,
at least, that physically she may be limited, but, you know,
(25:42):
her heart was still strong and her mind was still sharp.
You know, she still could recount very deep details about things.
She could recount them all. And so that was very impressive to me as we were
going through therapy and I was trying to kind of clinically observe her and
(26:05):
track her progress and stuff like that.
And that being said, you know, this, I would call this unique relation we have
other than the part that we're, you know, family is that I appreciate,
you know, the bond you guys had. I really felt that.
Made a difference as far as like how our family can keep going on because i'm very,
(26:31):
tied down i don't you know i could
easily have just kind of you know
fall into a very very dark place but you know
with every little help i had from you
and family it certainly raised me up so that
being said is there things that
you know you could appreciate
(26:53):
or you there's something that you could i guess you can appreciate that what
i've done for her or there's something that i could have done more for her is
there you know i know that's a very you know open-ended question but i've always
wondered because i'm the biggest critic of myself and i feel like i've always
have not done enough.
(27:15):
In hindsight, it's 2020. I've come to terms with that.
But for somebody like yourself that I admire, and I'm always wanting to know
that I want to get your sister back to you.
I want her to be there for me and for you again, and for Hudson and for everybody that she has loved.
(27:36):
Do you feel like...
The best that we could? I really feel that we have.
And it's thanks to you because you've given over 100% of yourself.
And even though sometimes I think, I don't know if he has more to give,
but you do and you still advocate for her every step of the way,
(27:59):
just getting everything settled with insurance and her therapy.
I knew she married the right person when this happened because I I don't know
if anyone would have done better than what you've done, Maurice.
And I can't thank you enough for everything that you've done for her.
You've stood by her side.
And just even the first step of getting her physical therapy when she was in
(28:25):
LTAC, you know, at first I was like, is she ready for this?
But then as I look back, like you said, hindsight,
you know, even her first session where she was trying to put the rings into
the cone and she couldn't do
it with her left hand and she used her right hand to help her left hand.
(28:47):
I was like, wow, she's still there, but she couldn't communicate at that time.
But just advocating for her and pushing and fighting for her.
I really do believe every step of the way we've made the best choice.
And I leaned a lot on you, Maurice, because you were there.
You're there every day and you're dealing with all the paperwork and doctors
(29:08):
and all that. And I really believe that it's because of you that she's still
with us and that she is making the progress that she has been.
And I think that's the most important thing is she's here.
She's doing well. She remembers things, even things from way in the past.
(29:30):
And she's able to process and calculate and love and care just like she did before.
And I think that's all because of the little steps along the way that you've
helped her. her get here.
I appreciate that. Yeah. I, I'm just, I'm always kind of researching and looking
for the best solution, alternative therapies and what it is and whatnot.
(29:52):
And we just keep pushing forward. I think you and I play off of each other,
you know, sometimes, you know, your emotions are very raw and I guess,
are you able to cope or is it because of our progress or is it,
or maybe it's like maybe out of sight and then you feel a bit better.
I know when we talk about it, it's triggering, isn't it?
(30:13):
It kind of, it floods, there's a flood of emotions that just kind of bubble up and you can feel it.
And I mean, how are you doing? How are you coping with this whole process?
I think over the past year and a half or so, I've just, I haven't been this
emotional about it until I think back about it.
And so I've kind of not been very emotional at all since LTAC.
(30:38):
And you know I always tell
people who go through things like where you are now is it
going to be where you are in the future and Sydney
is a testament of that just seeing her you know in the ICU twitching her leg
I couldn't see past that but as we see her today you know she's a testament
(30:59):
of someone who could keep trying and you know miracles really do happen and just,
I know I opened up with saying, as long as she's doing well, I'm doing well.
And I feel like, you know, it.
It is a positive experience just seeing her. And I've been pretty strong until this podcast, I think.
(31:24):
No, no, you've been very strong. I know, I think everybody copes and everybody
kind of talks about their experiences differently.
You know, for me, this podcast has been sort of like an outlet because I know,
to me, venting doesn't really do much for me.
I have an analytical mind. And so it's about progress.
(31:48):
And so I know that the stem of this is I felt very alone.
It didn't matter if you were with me, like you were, our other family.
We all have our own path to walk. It's a very unique situation.
No experience, relationship with Cindy is the same. And I was very alone.
And I don't want anybody to feel that way.
(32:10):
I have the strength to do this because I want anybody who's out there listening
that if you're remotely going through this or you're having a dark time or you
have an injury like this and you can relate, you're not alone.
We can take some of this and use it for strength to move forward,
(32:32):
even though it's not the same exact thing.
But you're not alone, as I've realized.
I'm not alone. When Sydney went from one facility to the next,
you're surrounded by other survivors of TBI, traumatic brain injury.
Other people had challenges, and some are more severe and some are less. And...
(32:53):
Guess the saying goes you know comparison is the thief of
joy and when i would look at other
families or other couples and they just get a haircut or they go to the restaurant
without any challenging and logistical issues that was very hard for me because
we had that and you know i i struggled with that and i was very alone in that
(33:15):
because nobody understood it down
to the details when you go home at night to sleep and then you have to go do
this do that and so that was that's for me to tell you guys out there that if
you feel that way you feel trapped,
i felt that way too and you're not alone and this
(33:38):
will pass you know we're here today and we
continue to move forward and there are better days
are not behind you and that's why i tell every
single day and you have your ups and
downs but you know i think
that that's life and so that
was you know for me it's giving
(33:59):
me more strength and i know that because we're talking about
this right now it's sort of very raw because you really haven't had to really
focus and fixate on these memories you know i know that perhaps you have you
had a chance so you can look back at had videos or photos of her early days during this emergency?
(34:22):
I have them in my phone and I glance through them, but it's still hard for me
to look through it, especially the ICU days.
But the videos that we would take of me asking her questions,
I do look at those and just to see her progress.
But it's usually hard for me to kind of look back, especially times when it
(34:44):
triggers certain emotions.
So I have yet to do all the videos that I've taken, but I've got a ton.
Yeah, I think it was difficult for me to take photos and videos when the task
at hand was just kind of caretaking.
And there was only a certain point I was like, I was doing it for the sole reason
(35:07):
I was taking videos is for progress.
It was not even for memory at all. I was like, I got to know if she's getting better.
I got to know if we're doing the right things because I was just kind of getting
a lot of data as much as I could. So I was approaching it from that end.
But, yeah, it's, you know, as I started to go through this podcast and recount,
(35:29):
and you know that, you know, we hosted events for Hudson's birthdays or celebration
events for Cindy and stuff like that.
And I generally give a speech and I can't even barely hold it together.
I'm always breaking down and because it's very raw and it takes me back.
And so, yeah, I, you know, I, when you talk about it, you know,
(35:52):
you do all the things you want and you'll be perfectly fine.
But when you talk about it, you think about it, it definitely takes you down
a path, you know, and makes you relive that moment.
And it's very raw. so that being
said i know that this has been very difficult for
you to talk about to you know we've been almost a two-year anniversary now from
(36:15):
the injury and that's something to celebrate because she's still here yeah and
so with that being said she'd like to know what would you want for her in the next five years?
I want her to be the best version of herself in five years.
And knowing who she is, she'll keep going, keep improving.
(36:38):
She makes her own little therapy sessions over the weekend.
And I know that she'd want to go back to work and walk.
And so in the next five years, I know she'll be able to.
Go back to work, some type of telework. And I know she doesn't like interacting
with people too much, but I'm sure she could find something. She's super smart.
(37:03):
And even walking, I feel like she will be able to walk one day without a device.
And also just find her groove with Hudson and being a mom.
And right now she's trying her best to help every way she can.
If it's not the physical things. She would help prepare his snacks and his lunch every day.
(37:25):
And some of the unseen things she would do, and she's always busy just doing stuff with him in mind.
So in the next five years, I do want to see her more involved with him and more
interactive and just finding ways to insert her self back into his life.
And I know, I love that he calls her mommy. And it's really sweet when he's
(37:50):
in time out and he calls for mommy because he knows that she'd be there for him.
But I do want to see more interaction with her and Hudson. I know she will get there.
Yeah, well, I guess she can't wait to hear all of your responses to her questions here.
What do you think she would say to the things you've said tonight or today?
(38:13):
I think it wouldn't be the first time, because we talk a lot and I always say,
hey, remember that time? And then we just laugh about it.
But I never cried with her because I tried not to, just to be strong,
but I think she would enjoy it.
I think she wouldn't be expecting to hear the story about Sandra,
(38:34):
we would call her crazy Sandra.
When the time when she was helping her shower and she just put her on the bed,
but didn't realize she couldn't hold herself up.
And Cindy ended up just kind of laying back into the bed and I was screaming.
But that was one of the funniest moments that we keep talking about.
(38:56):
But I think she wouldn't be surprised at any of the answers.
Right. Well, Elyse, you graced us with your presence here because she's been
wanting to hear your take.
Again, she's the biggest fan of this because there's a part of it in early and
(39:17):
in the emergent stages where she was pretty much unconscious and didn't really know what happened.
And she was so interested in all the events that transpired,
even the things that were not taking place with her, what was happening outside in life.
I think she's back at social media, just looking at it. Taylor Swift has a new
(39:39):
album or something like that, you know, and stuff like that.
Or who's this and who's that. I know also that's changed her in many different
ways as well as what really matters now. in the previous episode talked about that.
So I guess, you know, again, that being said, thank you for your strength and support for our family.
(40:00):
Any lasting comments and anything
for Cindy, myself, or listeners that are perhaps going through this?
I think the most important part is to keep going, you know, take it one day at a time.
Time and even during the
(40:21):
darkest times just find a light find the
reason why you're still here if you're still breathing you
still have a purpose in this world and you
know i think everyone is a blessing
in one way or another and definitely
cindy is a huge blessing to many people and it's pretty evident by the just
(40:43):
the amount of support that she has and there really is no one like her and I
feel like every person is unique in their own way and each person has a purpose.
And so just keep going even though it may not seem like you're going anywhere
(41:03):
at the moment. It's just not where you're going to end up.
So just have faith and be strong and just take it one day at a time.
Right. Thank you very much for being here and in supporting us as much as you do.
And until next time, hopefully we'll hear from you again.
Music.
Popular Podcasts
New Heights with Jason & Travis Kelce
Football’s funniest family duo — Jason Kelce of the Philadelphia Eagles and Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs — team up to provide next-level access to life in the league as it unfolds. The two brothers and Super Bowl champions drop weekly insights about the weekly slate of games and share their INSIDE perspectives on trending NFL news and sports headlines. They also endlessly rag on each other as brothers do, chat the latest in pop culture and welcome some very popular and well-known friends to chat with them. Check out new episodes every Wednesday. Follow New Heights on the Wondery App, YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to new episodes early and ad-free, and get exclusive content on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. And join our new membership for a unique fan experience by going to the New Heights YouTube channel now!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!