July 22, 2025 • 38 mins
Have you ever wondered how you would cope in a major crisis?
In 2022, when war engulfed Ukraine, Tetiana’s life was transformed in an instant. A successful business leader and devoted parent, she was forced to flee her homeland with little more than hope and her young son by her side. Overnight, Tetiana became a refugee.
Tetiana shares her extraordinary story with Belle, from the challenges she faced escaping Kyiv, to navigating the uncertainty of starting over in the UK. Through loss, relocation, and the need to adapt at every turn, Tetiana leaned on some of her favourite philosophies.
If you’ve ever wondered what it truly takes to start again, this conversation reveals some hard-earned lessons in courage, adaptability, and the power of a positive mindset.
GET IN TOUCH: Step Into Me Website | Instagram | Facebook | Email | Insights Newsletter
EPISODE LINKS: Tetiana Fomenko Facebook | Tetiana Health Coach (Fortyfy Me)
DISCLAIMER: The information shared in this podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. I am not a medical professional. If you’re experiencing health or mental health issues, please seek advice from a qualified healthcare provider.
CREDITS: Theme Music: "Strive to Be Better" by Craig Riley (licensed) Incidental Music: "Ice & Snow", "The Drama" and "Nostalgic Piano" written by Rafael Krux (freepd.com)
#StepIntoMePodcast #TetianaFomenko #Ukraine #UkrainianMother #CopingWithCrisis #MindsetMatters #Inspiration #UkraineWar #HealthCoach #MentalHealth #SelfImprovementPodcast #SelfHelpPodcast
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Belle (00:00):
Well hello and welcome to Step Into Me.
(00:05):
This is the podcast where we explore what it really takes to step into your true self.
I'm Belinda Lee and today we're talking resilience, courage and the extraordinary
power of mindset in times of crisis.
You are going to meet Tetiana Fomenko, an extraordinary young woman from the Ukrainian
(00:27):
capital, Kyiv.
Tetiana (00:29):
And this night I remember how I was afraid to sleep.
I was worried to close my eyes.
We didn't want to have a son worry about death in the age of nine.
Belle (00:40):
Tetiana's story is one of escape, unwavering spirit and determination and most importantly,
hope.
This is Coping with Crisis, a Ukrainian mother's story of strength and mindset.
It's February 24, 2022 and in Kyiv, dawn is breaking.
(01:09):
Tetiana Fomenko and her husband have been woken by the sound of an explosion.
Urgent messages are exchanged and panic is rising in the streets.
This is no ordinary Thursday.
For Tetiana, this will be the last day she spends in Kyiv, the place she calls home.
Tetiana (01:41):
When they invaded and you can hear bombing, Kyiv, capital and you don't know what's going
on.
It's really, yeah, it's start to touch you really close and you can see from the window
people packing cars, go somewhere, you don't know where to go.
(02:04):
First thing I called my parents, they were in Kherson and it's next to Crimea, can imagine.
And I thought I need to escape to my parents' place because just escape Kyiv because they
started bombing Kyiv.
But when I called my mom, she said, no, you can't go there because it's tanks passing
(02:24):
our house.
I can see Russian tanks from my window.
I thought, oh my God, I don't know what's going on.
And you don't know generally what's going on because it started at 5 in the morning and
for two hours, till seven, when like radio, television, people started to give more information,
(02:46):
you don't know what's going on.
Even if you want to leave, you don't know which direction to leave.
Belle (02:52):
So, can you take us back to before February 24 because your career was really taking off, wasn't
it?
So, can you just paint a picture for us of where you were at in terms of your career?
Tetiana (03:04):
I used to work as a pharmacist, then I was pharmacy manager, then I moved to a pharmaceutical
company, worked for GSK for six years, started from sales, then project development manager,
and then for position of project development manager, I moved to Kyiv and then I changed
for business development manager ophthalmological clinic in Kyiv.
(03:29):
So, that was my last place I was working and I was really excited and I remember this
day when the war started, I couldn't believe it.
At five in the morning, I heard how they bombed, I woke up from this sound and I couldn't
believe it because next day I had presentation my marketing plan, business development plan
(03:53):
for next year and I was working hard on it and I was preparing everything.
And next morning I had presentation and it was really big day for me, for my career and
I remember this crazy morning when I asked my husband, what is that?
He said, yeah, it's war started.
I said, should I have meeting at 9?
(04:16):
Should I go to meeting and he said, are you crazy?
You can't go to meeting it's war.
It's war in the country, Kyiv bombed.
Do you understand this?
I said, I was preparing for my presentation.
It can't be just cancelled.
They waiting for me and he said, nobody waiting for you Tetiana.
(04:36):
Pack your bags and think about survival.
Belle (04:40):
I can just imagine how surreal that must have seemed like you said one day you're preparing
a presentation and next day you're having to prepare to flee.
It just seems so hard to fathom what that must have felt like or been like.
So was it that day that you actually left?
Tetiana (04:58):
It was the next day we left.
Like for a day we were shocked and just couldn't understand what's going on.
I tried to find information and also I was packing in our suitcase, deciding what we take.
My husband was taking cash, for filling petrol and dealing with his work, he's a doctor,
(05:22):
oncologist.
So patients as well, you have responsibility and need to understand what the next steps
you can't just leave, leave your patients and go.
And we decided to leave next day early in the morning and this night I remember I was
afraid to sleep, to fall asleep.
(05:42):
I was worried to close my eyes because in this case you don't control, you losing control.
what's going on.
Belle (05:50):
So whereabouts did you go?
Tetiana (05:52):
We went to my friend's house in Lviv, the city near to Polish border and we came
to this big house and I think we were four or five families together with children.
So we stayed there for a week just to wait and see what's going on.
The most important thing is to bring children to a safe place.
Belle (06:16):
How was your son coping and how were the children coping at that time?
Do they understand what's going on?
Tetiana (06:22):
I think children really react on parents mood and how they behave and I was holding
myself really, really hard not to be panicking or crying.
I didn't cry, whatsoever
Because I knew if my son see me crying or worried he would be worried.
(06:42):
But he was afraid because he was hearing and also Russian.
It's definitely not normal days.
He was asking questions, but the main thing for him he was nine and the main thing for him
is if mom hugs him and not worried and not crying, it's okay.
(07:03):
But he did ask and it forced me to leave Lviv in a week time.
I started to volunteer in Lviv.
A lot of medication came from other countries, a lot a lot of medications in a boxes which wasn't
sorted or anything.
So as a pharmacist I found this volunteering job where you need to sort medication and understand
(07:25):
what is that and what it for, write it down on a box and just sort boxes and send to frontline
or for people needed it.
So that was my volunteering.
But in the evening when I come back home, my son and other children from this five or four
families were staying together.
(07:46):
They stayed with other parents and they were hiding each time it's alarm and they were hiding
whole day while we doing other jobs.
And it was morning, he woke up and said, "Mom, I had a dream that this place where we hiding
rocket came and we all died.
(08:08):
Will we die one day?"
And I was like, I couldn't know what to say.
It was it.
It was the time I really started to cry.
I went to volunteering because I had responsibilities.
But during the day when I heard alarm I just went crying because I just thought about my
son and his words running in my head and my husband said, "Yeah, that's it.
(08:34):
You must take him and go.
We didn't want to have a son worry about death in the age of nine."
Belle (08:41):
Oh, that's heavy.
That's a lot for children and for parents to have to deal with and of course you've just
come out of COVID as well.
We mustn't forget that there was COVID and then you're straight into war pretty much.
And now it's just you and your son.
So where did you go?
Tetiana (08:58):
So we knew one doctor who'd been in the University with us in Medical University.
He went to Czech Republic like five years before and we sent him a message in the Facebook.
It wasn't like contact like friend, just person we know and we knew that he's in the Czech
Republic.
(09:18):
We sent him a message asking whether he knows where to go or he can hold us for like week or
two if he has space.
And he kindly said, "Yeah, of course, come to our flat.
We have empty rooms so it's absolutely fine.
Come and stay here."
So it just went for people who don't even know really.
(09:42):
And it was really, really kind of them to do that because really we didn't have anyone
to go.
Belle (09:48):
Amazing.
As someone from Australia who has never known how it feels to be in a country under threat,
let alone attack, it is.
It's almost, it is impossible for me to even begin to comprehend what it must feel like to
just become a refugee overnight.
(10:09):
So you've travelled from cave to Kyiv to Lviv with your husband and son and then just with your
son to the Czech Republic.
But that wasn't the end obviously of your upheaval because you ended up in the UK.
So how did you end up here?
Tetiana (10:24):
When we went, came to Czech Republic.
It was long drive, my colleague from previous job.
She gave us a lift because she was travelling to France.
She had relatives in France.
So she gave us a lift to Czech Republic which is like, "Give me a lift to Sainsbury's on
your way to...
Belle (10:44):
"Just drop me off at Czech Republic."
Tetiana (10:47):
Yeah, drop me off at Czech Republic on your way to France.
But it was like that.
She stayed for a night, like to rest in Czech Republic.
And when his wife opened the door to this flat, I realised she's nine months pregnant.
She's like, ready to have a child.
And I thought it's tiny flat, tiny kitchen and one bathroom together with toilets.
(11:15):
So it would be for them really uncomfortable to have us as well.
And I thought this from this from the beginning.
I thought, "Yeah, I need to make a move."
It's really kind from them.
But I really need to move forward and like think next step.
I started to work in Czech Republic but quite quickly realised for this money I can't
(11:35):
rent anything, especially if I don't have language.
And then I received call from my cousin who already been in this programme.
She found this programme to go to UK.
And she said, "You know, there is some few more families in UK who want to invite Ukrainians
(11:55):
to help."
Because you from Kherson and its region was occupied in the really bad situation in the
beginning of the war.
Now it's destroyed completely but even from the beginning it was in difficult situation.
And she said, "You might know people who really need help."
But they want to help people who really need it and say, "Yeah, let me think about this."
(12:18):
And I had a friend of mine in mind and she found family in UK.
So everything successful I connected them and then I was sit down and thought, "You know what?
I need help."
Yes, I'm not in that such a bad situation but I do need somewhere to live for next.
I don't know, six months.
(12:38):
This programme was for six months.
And I called her back and said, "I need help.
Is there any other families inviting people?"
She said, "Yeah, probably we run out of families but let's try."
And we did try again and yeah, and I found my family.
Belle (13:00):
And that was with a family in Oxfordshire, is that right?
Tetiana (13:03):
Yes, it was in Oxfordshire.
They created Facebook group which you can describe your situation, who are what age, child
and people connect with you.
And yeah, my family, Catherine, connected with me and she said, "Yeah, we would be happy
to invite you.
We have two more boys."
So my boy was nine and they had three and six.
(13:27):
So it's three, six and nine.
Belle (13:29):
Gorgeous.
So yeah, we have toys, we have, we know how to deal with boys so please come in, we have spare
room.
And it, it's sound fantastic.
It was like, "Oh my God, I have next six months, where to live, which it sound crazy,
but that's what it is."
And I must point out here that you took one suitcase, is that right, when you left Kyiv?
Tetiana (13:53):
Yeah, I took one suitcase when we left Kyiv.
With Czech Republic, we left with one suitcase and a half, so one little for hand, because
I bought something in the Czech Republic already.
But it's definitely not wardrobe, it's just something to wear.
Belle (14:10):
Just something to get by.
But the kindness of strangers, I mean, that just must have been incredible for you to be
accepted into this family in the UK, a new country, for you and your son.
How did he settle in?
Tetiana (14:23):
Yes, good.
It wasn't easy.
It was really kind from family to invite us, but I think nobody realised how it will feel.
It's really, I don't know, life giving for us.
But yeah, it's not easy, because my son started to blame me in this point, because we've
(14:46):
been in Czech Republic for month and a half and he went to school.
He started to learn a bit of language, he found friends, he made connections with children
and with the teacher, and he was absolutely fine in Czech Republic.
I had problems because I didn't have money to rent place, I didn't have future and understanding
(15:08):
what I'm doing, but for him it was good.
It was all fine.
And when we moved to UK, I had language, I knew English before, not that well, I still need
learn to learn after three years, but it wasn't great, but at least I had some language and
had some hope to find a better job here.
(15:29):
For him, he started to blame me, he said, it was great in Czech Republic, why you need to
move, it's your problem that you don't know language, you should learn language, you lazy,
and like it was great school.
I made friends, why you need to move me all the time and he remembered me everything,
like Covid, moving to Kyiv, moving to Lviv, moving to Czech Republic and for him, it was
(15:55):
like, stop, give me life, it's your fault, I don't care about your problems, I don't like
this life, moving all the time.
Belle (16:03):
And of course you had your own problems to deal with, not just the moving, but you've got
this fantastic CV, you moved to the UK, but then you hit a wall, can you tell us what happened?
Tetiana (16:15):
I applied for pharmaceutical companies for any kind of jobs, I have experience in sales,
business development, project management, even support these people, even be administrator
for these people who do these jobs.
I had responses, quite a few and people were interested and were amazed by my experience
(16:38):
and CV, but over the phone I just couldn't understand what they saying, what they are asking,
even if I understand I can't express myself, I couldn't communicate with people on a professional
level, I can't be sales, I can't be project manager, it's absolutely different from just
(16:58):
buying coffee and have conversation about life and I can't do all of this.
So then I went step down, I think, okay, so pharmacy, I can prove my pharmaceutical degree
and work in a pharmacy, but then I understood that, okay, it's cost 15,000 pounds, it's full
(17:19):
time student one year course or OSPAP course and I can't be full time student.
Belle (17:28):
That was to be registered, wasn't it?
So you already had your masters and you've got all your qualifications in Ukraine, but in
order to be registered as a pharmacist in the UK, you had to go through this 15,000 pound
and one year course and all that sort of thing, which obviously, if you're trying to support
a son, that's not something that you can necessarily do.
Tetiana (17:49):
No, yes, I had my statement of comparability and I was so happy that it was relatively easy
to apply, they checked all my hours and trainings I did and they proved my qualification, but
it wasn't it, I need to be registered and there's another story, so I thought, "Universe,
(18:11):
it's my favourite philosophy, I always say to myself, if something goes really difficult
and Universe doesn't give you opportunity to do something and I'd like to remember this,
that Universe has only three answers to you, it's yes, yes, but later, and no, I have something
(18:35):
better for you."
So my case was sod, "So Universe has something better for me?"
Which I didn't realise at the time, but yeah, it's always, Universe always has only three
answers and if something doesn't go easy or it's maybe it's not yours, maybe it's something
(18:56):
else better waiting for you somewhere.
Belle (18:59):
But your ego must have taken quite a hit.
Tetiana (19:03):
That's true.
Belle (19:05):
How did you cope?
Tetiana (19:07):
Oh, that's another philosophy.
Belle (19:09):
Right.
Tetiana (19:10):
I quite often use in life generally, but it helps.
But you just need to move forward and do what you need to do at this moment.
You can't stop, you can sit, you can't stop, you need to move.
But it's easy to say if you don't feel great mentally, I mean, if you're in a depression,
(19:33):
it's really easy to get depression in this situation and stop moving any direction whatsoever.
But you need to breathe in, breathe out and switch yourself to a "bee".
It's another philosophy I really like is "bee" and "fly" mode.
All of us, we have "bee" and "fly" mode.
(19:54):
It's about, you know, "bees" and "flies", they live in the same world.
They fly in the same field.
But "bees" they see flowers, something that smells good, something that really nice and have
honey, yes, inside, but flies, they look in for different, in the same field.
Belle (20:16):
I love that.
Tetiana (20:18):
They see, they obviously see it.
If you concentrate on something, you will definitely see the proof and you will find it.
So the question is, are you fly or bee today?
If you choose to be a fly, you will find one...
Belle (20:35):
The poop.
Tetiana (20:36):
... yes, that the world is not great, that is everything difficult and nothing works
for you and you're unluckiest person in this world.
But if you choose to be a "bee" today, you will find something better.
That helps me a lot to move forward.
(20:57):
Breathe in, breathe out, I'm a "bee", let's move forward, so let's fly
like a bee.
Belle (21:04):
So tell me, how did you fly?
As a "bee", what did you find?
So you can't be a pharmacist, you can't be a business development manager, you can't
be any of what you've known in your life.
Tetiana (21:15):
Any qualified. Belle
How did you move through that?
What flowers did you find that produced some honey for you?
Yes, when I was cleaning the houses and then, friend of mine, she said, you know that this
pharmacy needs staff.
(21:36):
I was fine cleaning the houses, it was interesting to look at how different culture, like
English people live.
The only problem is not paid that well and also you want to have some long-term vision.
But when I looked at this position in a pharmacy, it was the same money, a bit less even than
(22:00):
cleaning houses, but I thought at least I'm in a field, my professional field, maybe through
conversation with people, something will show up, somebody will tell me something, give
me some ideas.
So I went for this job in a pharmacy, that's where my ego really came..
Belle (22:23):
Because this wasn't being the pharmacist
was it?
This wasn't a job to be the pharmacist.
Tetiana (22:28):
It's not even any qualified job, you were just helping people who doing jobs.
I did my first dispenser qualification during my work in a pharmacy, so I just came just
the person, not cleaning person, but just helping without any qualification.
Belle (22:47):
Just a job that I could have walked in and got without any qualifications yet, right?
Tetiana (22:51):
Yeah, because I used to be pharmacy manager and if you've been manager for a long time,
it's really difficult to take it off from your mind.
What I found, and it was really interesting, what I noticed inside in myself, that it was
absolutely different from cleaning houses.
(23:12):
So cleaning houses, I didn't feel I'm manager cleaning houses, but being in a pharmacy, I
did feel that I'm manager doing some job which even not qualified or any, it doesn't have
any description.
Belle (23:29):
I think so many people can relate to that.
If anyone has been in a position of management or when you were in charge and then suddenly
you're doing the menial tasks or what you started out doing in your job, that's tough.
Tetiana (23:44):
Yes, and inside me, it was a battle inside me and I had such a big wave of emotions inside me
which I never, I have never showed and never expressed, but it was battle inside and I
thought, "Oh, why should I do this silly job?"
I invested so much time and effort into myself, into my education, into my, and I've done
(24:08):
this and this and it was like running in my heart.
Belle (24:12):
I can just imagine and you'd be thinking, "I used to have your job, I used to be you."
Tetiana (24:16):
Yeah, and you'll become such a bad person inside.
Honestly, I couldn't, I couldn't think it's me.
Belle (24:24):
So what was the turning point for you because you ended up emerging from that job that suddenly
you found a new career path?
Tetiana (24:32):
Yes, I was working for a year in a pharmacy and one friend of mine, she's from Ukraine, she
had appointment with a doctor and because my pharmacy was next to the doctors, she asked
me to translate and help her with appointment and saw leaflets which says, "Book your appointment
(24:54):
with the health coach" and then I said, "Okay, what is health coach?
Never have never heard about this."
I took this leaflet and did some research at home and when I was reading description and
I thought, "Oh my God, it's me, it's me, health coach, that's what I was doing as my hobby,
(25:15):
I had nutritionist qualification, it was just my field of interest and I used to consult
people privately for nutrition part, changing lifestyle, understanding their health conditions
because as a pharmacist I had wide knowledge about health conditions and it was something
I was really interested in but I've never had idea that it could be career or I can get
(25:39):
enough income from that, it was just a nice hobby.
Belle (25:43):
Okay, so this was in Kyiv, this was just something that you sort of did on the side?
Tetiana (25:47):
This was from me, I always did this but a little bit, it was just my scene, just had a side
hobby, helping people to understand their conditions, lifestyle and help prevent chronic
disease but here in UK I found this leaflet, did research and I thought, "It's career, it's
(26:09):
a profession here in the UK, I was so shocked, it's me, I didn't even know that that what I was
doing, it was actually health coaching and they have these people in surgeries here and
it's like proper regulatory body, it's proper education, it's proper everything for this
(26:31):
profession. I started my course in London after a year finished and predated as a health
coach, registered and yeah now I'm registered health coach practicing in UK professionally
and this was my "No, Tetiana. I have something better for you."
Belle (26:50):
I was just going to say that was the Universe saying "no, you can't be even a pharmacist
because I've got something better for you."
So that must have just been a thrill because now you have started your own business, but
how has this changed your life?
I mean this is an opportunity obviously that you wouldn't have had were you still in
(27:12):
Ukraine.
Tetiana (27:16):
So I don't know whether it's fate or it is what it is but it's true. They started this
health coaching in Ukraine, it's not on the same level than in UK and that's why my
big goal to bring standards of health coaching into Ukraine as well. Because I worked for
NHS for two years as a health coach and seen more than 800 people during this time and
(27:42):
seen people in Oxford University in different hospitals, I've seen doctors, professors and it's
made me realise that people are people everywhere, doesn't matter what they know, what they study,
they have the same issues, the same questions, and health coaching, it's something can really,
(28:02):
really help so many people but it should be in a good level, good quality.
Belle (28:08):
I know your visa, you've got 18 months on your visa and none of us has a crystal ball so we
don't know what the situation will be in 18 months time but particularly post-war, I imagine
this would be something that people would very much be wanting because it's mental health
as much as nutrition and everything else that goes with health.
Tetiana (28:29):
Yeah, basically now I consult people in Ukraine and in UK and all over the world who speak
English because consultations are online so it's not a barrier and definitely I will carry
on where I will end up being, I will carry on doing this and will do business for
(28:51):
Ukraine and for English.
People's bodies the same, it doesn't matter which language we speak.
Belle (29:00):
No, that's so true, that's so true.
But it's just such an incredible story and it just goes to show that being the bee, being
on the lookout as you were for the flowers and in this case that was the leaflet in the
doctor's surgery, just picking that up has turned into not only turning your passion project,
(29:20):
your hobby as you said from Kyiv into a career but also a business and one that you can hopefully,
one day, take back to Ukraine and just help so many people as well, it's amazing, it's so
inspiring. And speaking of Ukraine, I must ask about your family as well, how are they doing
(29:41):
and have you been able to stay in touch with them?
Tetiana (29:43):
Yes, I do stay in touch with my parents, all my family is still in Ukraine, it's just
me and my son here and my cousin with children as well but my close family in Ukraine.
Unfortunately, we get divorced with my husband, this war and distance doesn't help,
just face you with a choice, so we divorced two years ago but we're still in touch, but everybody
(30:11):
alive thank God.
Belle (30:12):
So not only have you had to deal with becoming a refugee overnight, fleeing your country,
not being able to use your qualifications in the UK, nine years of study, but divorce at the
end of all this as well, that's a lot to have to go through in three years.
So how do you cope mentally?
Tetiana (30:34):
I really protect my time for my sport, food, sleep, that's the basics, without you can't
functioning well, so I make sure that I have seven, eight hours sleep, I do sports,
have my targets and rules, so I can miss one day but not two in a row, so I'm doing running,
(30:59):
gym, yoga if I don't have time for neither, that helps really well and good nutrition,
you need to feed yourself to feel good, because hormones and metabolic health, that's a basis,
because our body is biochemistry laboratory, if something goes wrong, it will affect
(31:20):
our mood, energy levels and just general, how you feel.
Belle (31:25):
Well it must be working because your mental attitude towards everything that has come your way,
these past few years has just been remarkable. And I must mention Toastmasters as well,
we mustn't forget that because a lot of people would be familiar with Toastmasters,
the international group that helps with communication and public speaking and so on,
(31:45):
because you also took it upon yourself didn't you, to do that just to help with your English?
Tetiana (31:50):
Yeah, Toastmasters helped a lot doing speeches, helped basically with both, with my English and
with my mental health because it was a place where I felt myself like in a previous life,
we talked about ego before, it was my food for my ego, but I can be on a stage, I can speak,
(32:13):
and together with developing my English just feel good, feel that I'm still okay, I'm still qualified,
I'm still can have stuff to tell people.
Toastmasters definitely helped a lot to grow my confidence I would say, because I learned to be
okay that I'm not okay with English, and it's also a big part of my self training, to be on a stage,
(32:41):
forgetting words, it's okay Tetiana, nobody will kill you after that,
or just saying if you don't know right structure, grammar structure, just say it,
if you don't know what what you say or tell, just use any, people will understand you,
(33:04):
that's okay, so it's really big thing to be okay with yourself the way you are, you still developing,
you still learning, tomorrow you will be better, but today instead of be frozen and don't move
forward, don't do any steps, you keep going and you will make mistakes and that's okay, it's a part
(33:29):
of the process of grows, if you don't do any steps forward you won't do any mistakes and you won't grow.
Belle (33:36):
Where do you think you got this incredible mindset from? Was it your parents or your grandparents?
Where did it come from? Tetiana (33:41):
Hard life and my grandparents, I think, but I had really good
connection with my granddad, he's not with us anymore, he was a physics and maths teacher and
head teacher at school, but he was so wise and I wish I learned more from him and he had such a
(34:04):
positive attitude, I don't know. "Somewhere, we will find solution", that was his words all the time,
I will tell a short pre-story because he's a maths teacher, I had to learn maths and physics
every single holiday, you can imagine, when people, other children playing outside in the summer,
I had to deal with difficult maths tasks and physics tasks and if I can't find solution, he said,
(34:31):
"okay, go and come back with your ideas", so he taught me a lot about looking for solution and
never give up and he would help me in the end of the day if I don't have any ideas anymore,
but it helped me a lot to build myself and when I was fed up with all this study and was cross
with this and I want to play like other children, I don't want to learn this maths all the time and he
(34:57):
said "Tetiana, listen to me, the only things you don't need to carry, they're not heavy in your
life is your knowledge, your experience, and your attitude, and you will take it everywhere and
it's always will be with you", everything else can go like my house in Kherson, my career, my
(35:21):
car, even my family, everything, but your knowledge, your experience, your attitude would always be with
you, so that's what I crossed the border in Czech Republic, crossed the border in the UK and if I
need to leave the UK, I will cross the border with all of this stuff again and it was a really good
lesson from my granddad. Belle (35:39):
Wow, I think that's a good lesson for all of us, that's just beautiful,
absolutely beautiful. Tetiana, what are your hopes for yourself and your son and for Ukraine?
Tetiana (35:51):
Yeah, peace, I wish I worry about normal stuff, I really hope people in Ukraine
will worry about where to go for holiday rather than everything else that they worry about now
and I wish their biggest problem would be how to book flights to go to holiday. Belle (36:13):
Just something to
look forward to. Tetiana (36:21):
Something to look forward to, yeah, and yeah flights will be again in Ukraine and
peace and what's this really important long-term peace, I don't know whether it's possible with our
neighbour but I really hope families get their fathers and husbands back and yeah live just normal life.
Belle (36:48):
Well Tetiana, your journey reminds us all I think that even when so much is taken away that mindset
really is everything and thank you to your granddad for just instilling that in you that you could
pass it on to us as well. And I should ask also if anyone in the UK would like to use your services in
the health coaching area, how can they get in touch with you? Tetiana (37:11):
You can search on Google
"health coach Thame" or "health coach Tetiana Fomenko", you can find me on Google Maps, on my website,
on Facebook or Instagram, so the magic words, "health coach Tetiana Fomenko" and I would be really happy to
hear from you. Belle (37:35):
Fantastic and I'll put those links in the show notes on the podcast as well.
Tetiana, I can't begin to tell you how much I've enjoyed speaking with you today, thank you so much.
Tetiana (37:48):
Really easy to talk to you. Belle
for sharing your story and for reminding us that even in the face of crisis our mindset can take
us further than we even believe possible. It's an amazing story. Tetiana, I know I speak on behalf of
(38:08):
everyone listening to this podcast when I say that I wish you, your son, your family, and all of
Ukraine, peace, hope and healing. Thank you. Tetiana (38:15):
Thank you for having me it was such a pleasure.
Belle (38:22):
What a story, hey? Well if Tetiana's courage and wisdom resonated with you today,
please do get in touch or you can send Tetiana a message as well, I'll make sure that they get to her.
You'll find the contact details in the show notes to this podcast or just head to stepintomepodcast.com.
(38:42):
Thank you so much for listening, I'm Belinda Lee and this is Step Into Me helping you find the courage
to step into your true self.
[MUSIC]
Well hello and welcome to Step Into Me.
(00:05):
This is the podcast where we explore what it really takes to step into your true self.
I'm Belinda Lee and today we're talking resilience, courage and the extraordinary
power of mindset in times of crisis.
You are going to meet Tetiana Fomenko, an extraordinary young woman from the Ukrainian
(00:27):
capital, Kyiv.
Tetiana (00:29):
And this night I remember how I was afraid to sleep.
I was worried to close my eyes.
We didn't want to have a son worry about death in the age of nine.
Belle (00:40):
Tetiana's story is one of escape, unwavering spirit and determination and most importantly,
hope.
This is Coping with Crisis, a Ukrainian mother's story of strength and mindset.
It's February 24, 2022 and in Kyiv, dawn is breaking.
(01:09):
Tetiana Fomenko and her husband have been woken by the sound of an explosion.
Urgent messages are exchanged and panic is rising in the streets.
This is no ordinary Thursday.
For Tetiana, this will be the last day she spends in Kyiv, the place she calls home.
Tetiana (01:41):
When they invaded and you can hear bombing, Kyiv, capital and you don't know what's going
on.
It's really, yeah, it's start to touch you really close and you can see from the window
people packing cars, go somewhere, you don't know where to go.
(02:04):
First thing I called my parents, they were in Kherson and it's next to Crimea, can imagine.
And I thought I need to escape to my parents' place because just escape Kyiv because they
started bombing Kyiv.
But when I called my mom, she said, no, you can't go there because it's tanks passing
(02:24):
our house.
I can see Russian tanks from my window.
I thought, oh my God, I don't know what's going on.
And you don't know generally what's going on because it started at 5 in the morning and
for two hours, till seven, when like radio, television, people started to give more information,
(02:46):
you don't know what's going on.
Even if you want to leave, you don't know which direction to leave.
Belle (02:52):
So, can you take us back to before February 24 because your career was really taking off, wasn't
it?
So, can you just paint a picture for us of where you were at in terms of your career?
Tetiana (03:04):
I used to work as a pharmacist, then I was pharmacy manager, then I moved to a pharmaceutical
company, worked for GSK for six years, started from sales, then project development manager,
and then for position of project development manager, I moved to Kyiv and then I changed
for business development manager ophthalmological clinic in Kyiv.
(03:29):
So, that was my last place I was working and I was really excited and I remember this
day when the war started, I couldn't believe it.
At five in the morning, I heard how they bombed, I woke up from this sound and I couldn't
believe it because next day I had presentation my marketing plan, business development plan
(03:53):
for next year and I was working hard on it and I was preparing everything.
And next morning I had presentation and it was really big day for me, for my career and
I remember this crazy morning when I asked my husband, what is that?
He said, yeah, it's war started.
I said, should I have meeting at 9?
(04:16):
Should I go to meeting and he said, are you crazy?
You can't go to meeting it's war.
It's war in the country, Kyiv bombed.
Do you understand this?
I said, I was preparing for my presentation.
It can't be just cancelled.
They waiting for me and he said, nobody waiting for you Tetiana.
(04:36):
Pack your bags and think about survival.
Belle (04:40):
I can just imagine how surreal that must have seemed like you said one day you're preparing
a presentation and next day you're having to prepare to flee.
It just seems so hard to fathom what that must have felt like or been like.
So was it that day that you actually left?
Tetiana (04:58):
It was the next day we left.
Like for a day we were shocked and just couldn't understand what's going on.
I tried to find information and also I was packing in our suitcase, deciding what we take.
My husband was taking cash, for filling petrol and dealing with his work, he's a doctor,
(05:22):
oncologist.
So patients as well, you have responsibility and need to understand what the next steps
you can't just leave, leave your patients and go.
And we decided to leave next day early in the morning and this night I remember I was
afraid to sleep, to fall asleep.
(05:42):
I was worried to close my eyes because in this case you don't control, you losing control.
what's going on.
Belle (05:50):
So whereabouts did you go?
Tetiana (05:52):
We went to my friend's house in Lviv, the city near to Polish border and we came
to this big house and I think we were four or five families together with children.
So we stayed there for a week just to wait and see what's going on.
The most important thing is to bring children to a safe place.
Belle (06:16):
How was your son coping and how were the children coping at that time?
Do they understand what's going on?
Tetiana (06:22):
I think children really react on parents mood and how they behave and I was holding
myself really, really hard not to be panicking or crying.
I didn't cry, whatsoever
Because I knew if my son see me crying or worried he would be worried.
(06:42):
But he was afraid because he was hearing and also Russian.
It's definitely not normal days.
He was asking questions, but the main thing for him he was nine and the main thing for him
is if mom hugs him and not worried and not crying, it's okay.
(07:03):
But he did ask and it forced me to leave Lviv in a week time.
I started to volunteer in Lviv.
A lot of medication came from other countries, a lot a lot of medications in a boxes which wasn't
sorted or anything.
So as a pharmacist I found this volunteering job where you need to sort medication and understand
(07:25):
what is that and what it for, write it down on a box and just sort boxes and send to frontline
or for people needed it.
So that was my volunteering.
But in the evening when I come back home, my son and other children from this five or four
families were staying together.
(07:46):
They stayed with other parents and they were hiding each time it's alarm and they were hiding
whole day while we doing other jobs.
And it was morning, he woke up and said, "Mom, I had a dream that this place where we hiding
rocket came and we all died.
(08:08):
Will we die one day?"
And I was like, I couldn't know what to say.
It was it.
It was the time I really started to cry.
I went to volunteering because I had responsibilities.
But during the day when I heard alarm I just went crying because I just thought about my
son and his words running in my head and my husband said, "Yeah, that's it.
(08:34):
You must take him and go.
We didn't want to have a son worry about death in the age of nine."
Belle (08:41):
Oh, that's heavy.
That's a lot for children and for parents to have to deal with and of course you've just
come out of COVID as well.
We mustn't forget that there was COVID and then you're straight into war pretty much.
And now it's just you and your son.
So where did you go?
Tetiana (08:58):
So we knew one doctor who'd been in the University with us in Medical University.
He went to Czech Republic like five years before and we sent him a message in the Facebook.
It wasn't like contact like friend, just person we know and we knew that he's in the Czech
Republic.
(09:18):
We sent him a message asking whether he knows where to go or he can hold us for like week or
two if he has space.
And he kindly said, "Yeah, of course, come to our flat.
We have empty rooms so it's absolutely fine.
Come and stay here."
So it just went for people who don't even know really.
(09:42):
And it was really, really kind of them to do that because really we didn't have anyone
to go.
Belle (09:48):
Amazing.
As someone from Australia who has never known how it feels to be in a country under threat,
let alone attack, it is.
It's almost, it is impossible for me to even begin to comprehend what it must feel like to
just become a refugee overnight.
(10:09):
So you've travelled from cave to Kyiv to Lviv with your husband and son and then just with your
son to the Czech Republic.
But that wasn't the end obviously of your upheaval because you ended up in the UK.
So how did you end up here?
Tetiana (10:24):
When we went, came to Czech Republic.
It was long drive, my colleague from previous job.
She gave us a lift because she was travelling to France.
She had relatives in France.
So she gave us a lift to Czech Republic which is like, "Give me a lift to Sainsbury's on
your way to...
Belle (10:44):
"Just drop me off at Czech Republic."
Tetiana (10:47):
Yeah, drop me off at Czech Republic on your way to France.
But it was like that.
She stayed for a night, like to rest in Czech Republic.
And when his wife opened the door to this flat, I realised she's nine months pregnant.
She's like, ready to have a child.
And I thought it's tiny flat, tiny kitchen and one bathroom together with toilets.
(11:15):
So it would be for them really uncomfortable to have us as well.
And I thought this from this from the beginning.
I thought, "Yeah, I need to make a move."
It's really kind from them.
But I really need to move forward and like think next step.
I started to work in Czech Republic but quite quickly realised for this money I can't
(11:35):
rent anything, especially if I don't have language.
And then I received call from my cousin who already been in this programme.
She found this programme to go to UK.
And she said, "You know, there is some few more families in UK who want to invite Ukrainians
(11:55):
to help."
Because you from Kherson and its region was occupied in the really bad situation in the
beginning of the war.
Now it's destroyed completely but even from the beginning it was in difficult situation.
And she said, "You might know people who really need help."
But they want to help people who really need it and say, "Yeah, let me think about this."
(12:18):
And I had a friend of mine in mind and she found family in UK.
So everything successful I connected them and then I was sit down and thought, "You know what?
I need help."
Yes, I'm not in that such a bad situation but I do need somewhere to live for next.
I don't know, six months.
(12:38):
This programme was for six months.
And I called her back and said, "I need help.
Is there any other families inviting people?"
She said, "Yeah, probably we run out of families but let's try."
And we did try again and yeah, and I found my family.
Belle (13:00):
And that was with a family in Oxfordshire, is that right?
Tetiana (13:03):
Yes, it was in Oxfordshire.
They created Facebook group which you can describe your situation, who are what age, child
and people connect with you.
And yeah, my family, Catherine, connected with me and she said, "Yeah, we would be happy
to invite you.
We have two more boys."
So my boy was nine and they had three and six.
(13:27):
So it's three, six and nine.
Belle (13:29):
Gorgeous.
So yeah, we have toys, we have, we know how to deal with boys so please come in, we have spare
room.
And it, it's sound fantastic.
It was like, "Oh my God, I have next six months, where to live, which it sound crazy,
but that's what it is."
And I must point out here that you took one suitcase, is that right, when you left Kyiv?
Tetiana (13:53):
Yeah, I took one suitcase when we left Kyiv.
With Czech Republic, we left with one suitcase and a half, so one little for hand, because
I bought something in the Czech Republic already.
But it's definitely not wardrobe, it's just something to wear.
Belle (14:10):
Just something to get by.
But the kindness of strangers, I mean, that just must have been incredible for you to be
accepted into this family in the UK, a new country, for you and your son.
How did he settle in?
Tetiana (14:23):
Yes, good.
It wasn't easy.
It was really kind from family to invite us, but I think nobody realised how it will feel.
It's really, I don't know, life giving for us.
But yeah, it's not easy, because my son started to blame me in this point, because we've
(14:46):
been in Czech Republic for month and a half and he went to school.
He started to learn a bit of language, he found friends, he made connections with children
and with the teacher, and he was absolutely fine in Czech Republic.
I had problems because I didn't have money to rent place, I didn't have future and understanding
(15:08):
what I'm doing, but for him it was good.
It was all fine.
And when we moved to UK, I had language, I knew English before, not that well, I still need
learn to learn after three years, but it wasn't great, but at least I had some language and
had some hope to find a better job here.
(15:29):
For him, he started to blame me, he said, it was great in Czech Republic, why you need to
move, it's your problem that you don't know language, you should learn language, you lazy,
and like it was great school.
I made friends, why you need to move me all the time and he remembered me everything,
like Covid, moving to Kyiv, moving to Lviv, moving to Czech Republic and for him, it was
(15:55):
like, stop, give me life, it's your fault, I don't care about your problems, I don't like
this life, moving all the time.
Belle (16:03):
And of course you had your own problems to deal with, not just the moving, but you've got
this fantastic CV, you moved to the UK, but then you hit a wall, can you tell us what happened?
Tetiana (16:15):
I applied for pharmaceutical companies for any kind of jobs, I have experience in sales,
business development, project management, even support these people, even be administrator
for these people who do these jobs.
I had responses, quite a few and people were interested and were amazed by my experience
(16:38):
and CV, but over the phone I just couldn't understand what they saying, what they are asking,
even if I understand I can't express myself, I couldn't communicate with people on a professional
level, I can't be sales, I can't be project manager, it's absolutely different from just
(16:58):
buying coffee and have conversation about life and I can't do all of this.
So then I went step down, I think, okay, so pharmacy, I can prove my pharmaceutical degree
and work in a pharmacy, but then I understood that, okay, it's cost 15,000 pounds, it's full
(17:19):
time student one year course or OSPAP course and I can't be full time student.
Belle (17:28):
That was to be registered, wasn't it?
So you already had your masters and you've got all your qualifications in Ukraine, but in
order to be registered as a pharmacist in the UK, you had to go through this 15,000 pound
and one year course and all that sort of thing, which obviously, if you're trying to support
a son, that's not something that you can necessarily do.
Tetiana (17:49):
No, yes, I had my statement of comparability and I was so happy that it was relatively easy
to apply, they checked all my hours and trainings I did and they proved my qualification, but
it wasn't it, I need to be registered and there's another story, so I thought, "Universe,
(18:11):
it's my favourite philosophy, I always say to myself, if something goes really difficult
and Universe doesn't give you opportunity to do something and I'd like to remember this,
that Universe has only three answers to you, it's yes, yes, but later, and no, I have something
(18:35):
better for you."
So my case was sod, "So Universe has something better for me?"
Which I didn't realise at the time, but yeah, it's always, Universe always has only three
answers and if something doesn't go easy or it's maybe it's not yours, maybe it's something
(18:56):
else better waiting for you somewhere.
Belle (18:59):
But your ego must have taken quite a hit.
Tetiana (19:03):
That's true.
Belle (19:05):
How did you cope?
Tetiana (19:07):
Oh, that's another philosophy.
Belle (19:09):
Right.
Tetiana (19:10):
I quite often use in life generally, but it helps.
But you just need to move forward and do what you need to do at this moment.
You can't stop, you can sit, you can't stop, you need to move.
But it's easy to say if you don't feel great mentally, I mean, if you're in a depression,
(19:33):
it's really easy to get depression in this situation and stop moving any direction whatsoever.
But you need to breathe in, breathe out and switch yourself to a "bee".
It's another philosophy I really like is "bee" and "fly" mode.
All of us, we have "bee" and "fly" mode.
(19:54):
It's about, you know, "bees" and "flies", they live in the same world.
They fly in the same field.
But "bees" they see flowers, something that smells good, something that really nice and have
honey, yes, inside, but flies, they look in for different, in the same field.
Belle (20:16):
I love that.
Tetiana (20:18):
They see, they obviously see it.
If you concentrate on something, you will definitely see the proof and you will find it.
So the question is, are you fly or bee today?
If you choose to be a fly, you will find one...
Belle (20:35):
The poop.
Tetiana (20:36):
... yes, that the world is not great, that is everything difficult and nothing works
for you and you're unluckiest person in this world.
But if you choose to be a "bee" today, you will find something better.
That helps me a lot to move forward.
(20:57):
Breathe in, breathe out, I'm a "bee", let's move forward, so let's fly
like a bee.
Belle (21:04):
So tell me, how did you fly?
As a "bee", what did you find?
So you can't be a pharmacist, you can't be a business development manager, you can't
be any of what you've known in your life.
Tetiana (21:15):
Any qualified. Belle
How did you move through that?
What flowers did you find that produced some honey for you?
Yes, when I was cleaning the houses and then, friend of mine, she said, you know that this
pharmacy needs staff.
(21:36):
I was fine cleaning the houses, it was interesting to look at how different culture, like
English people live.
The only problem is not paid that well and also you want to have some long-term vision.
But when I looked at this position in a pharmacy, it was the same money, a bit less even than
(22:00):
cleaning houses, but I thought at least I'm in a field, my professional field, maybe through
conversation with people, something will show up, somebody will tell me something, give
me some ideas.
So I went for this job in a pharmacy, that's where my ego really came..
Belle (22:23):
Because this wasn't being the pharmacist
was it?
This wasn't a job to be the pharmacist.
Tetiana (22:28):
It's not even any qualified job, you were just helping people who doing jobs.
I did my first dispenser qualification during my work in a pharmacy, so I just came just
the person, not cleaning person, but just helping without any qualification.
Belle (22:47):
Just a job that I could have walked in and got without any qualifications yet, right?
Tetiana (22:51):
Yeah, because I used to be pharmacy manager and if you've been manager for a long time,
it's really difficult to take it off from your mind.
What I found, and it was really interesting, what I noticed inside in myself, that it was
absolutely different from cleaning houses.
(23:12):
So cleaning houses, I didn't feel I'm manager cleaning houses, but being in a pharmacy, I
did feel that I'm manager doing some job which even not qualified or any, it doesn't have
any description.
Belle (23:29):
I think so many people can relate to that.
If anyone has been in a position of management or when you were in charge and then suddenly
you're doing the menial tasks or what you started out doing in your job, that's tough.
Tetiana (23:44):
Yes, and inside me, it was a battle inside me and I had such a big wave of emotions inside me
which I never, I have never showed and never expressed, but it was battle inside and I
thought, "Oh, why should I do this silly job?"
I invested so much time and effort into myself, into my education, into my, and I've done
(24:08):
this and this and it was like running in my heart.
Belle (24:12):
I can just imagine and you'd be thinking, "I used to have your job, I used to be you."
Tetiana (24:16):
Yeah, and you'll become such a bad person inside.
Honestly, I couldn't, I couldn't think it's me.
Belle (24:24):
So what was the turning point for you because you ended up emerging from that job that suddenly
you found a new career path?
Tetiana (24:32):
Yes, I was working for a year in a pharmacy and one friend of mine, she's from Ukraine, she
had appointment with a doctor and because my pharmacy was next to the doctors, she asked
me to translate and help her with appointment and saw leaflets which says, "Book your appointment
(24:54):
with the health coach" and then I said, "Okay, what is health coach?
Never have never heard about this."
I took this leaflet and did some research at home and when I was reading description and
I thought, "Oh my God, it's me, it's me, health coach, that's what I was doing as my hobby,
(25:15):
I had nutritionist qualification, it was just my field of interest and I used to consult
people privately for nutrition part, changing lifestyle, understanding their health conditions
because as a pharmacist I had wide knowledge about health conditions and it was something
I was really interested in but I've never had idea that it could be career or I can get
(25:39):
enough income from that, it was just a nice hobby.
Belle (25:43):
Okay, so this was in Kyiv, this was just something that you sort of did on the side?
Tetiana (25:47):
This was from me, I always did this but a little bit, it was just my scene, just had a side
hobby, helping people to understand their conditions, lifestyle and help prevent chronic
disease but here in UK I found this leaflet, did research and I thought, "It's career, it's
(26:09):
a profession here in the UK, I was so shocked, it's me, I didn't even know that that what I was
doing, it was actually health coaching and they have these people in surgeries here and
it's like proper regulatory body, it's proper education, it's proper everything for this
(26:31):
profession. I started my course in London after a year finished and predated as a health
coach, registered and yeah now I'm registered health coach practicing in UK professionally
and this was my "No, Tetiana. I have something better for you."
Belle (26:50):
I was just going to say that was the Universe saying "no, you can't be even a pharmacist
because I've got something better for you."
So that must have just been a thrill because now you have started your own business, but
how has this changed your life?
I mean this is an opportunity obviously that you wouldn't have had were you still in
(27:12):
Ukraine.
Tetiana (27:16):
So I don't know whether it's fate or it is what it is but it's true. They started this
health coaching in Ukraine, it's not on the same level than in UK and that's why my
big goal to bring standards of health coaching into Ukraine as well. Because I worked for
NHS for two years as a health coach and seen more than 800 people during this time and
(27:42):
seen people in Oxford University in different hospitals, I've seen doctors, professors and it's
made me realise that people are people everywhere, doesn't matter what they know, what they study,
they have the same issues, the same questions, and health coaching, it's something can really,
(28:02):
really help so many people but it should be in a good level, good quality.
Belle (28:08):
I know your visa, you've got 18 months on your visa and none of us has a crystal ball so we
don't know what the situation will be in 18 months time but particularly post-war, I imagine
this would be something that people would very much be wanting because it's mental health
as much as nutrition and everything else that goes with health.
Tetiana (28:29):
Yeah, basically now I consult people in Ukraine and in UK and all over the world who speak
English because consultations are online so it's not a barrier and definitely I will carry
on where I will end up being, I will carry on doing this and will do business for
(28:51):
Ukraine and for English.
People's bodies the same, it doesn't matter which language we speak.
Belle (29:00):
No, that's so true, that's so true.
But it's just such an incredible story and it just goes to show that being the bee, being
on the lookout as you were for the flowers and in this case that was the leaflet in the
doctor's surgery, just picking that up has turned into not only turning your passion project,
(29:20):
your hobby as you said from Kyiv into a career but also a business and one that you can hopefully,
one day, take back to Ukraine and just help so many people as well, it's amazing, it's so
inspiring. And speaking of Ukraine, I must ask about your family as well, how are they doing
(29:41):
and have you been able to stay in touch with them?
Tetiana (29:43):
Yes, I do stay in touch with my parents, all my family is still in Ukraine, it's just
me and my son here and my cousin with children as well but my close family in Ukraine.
Unfortunately, we get divorced with my husband, this war and distance doesn't help,
just face you with a choice, so we divorced two years ago but we're still in touch, but everybody
(30:11):
alive thank God.
Belle (30:12):
So not only have you had to deal with becoming a refugee overnight, fleeing your country,
not being able to use your qualifications in the UK, nine years of study, but divorce at the
end of all this as well, that's a lot to have to go through in three years.
So how do you cope mentally?
Tetiana (30:34):
I really protect my time for my sport, food, sleep, that's the basics, without you can't
functioning well, so I make sure that I have seven, eight hours sleep, I do sports,
have my targets and rules, so I can miss one day but not two in a row, so I'm doing running,
(30:59):
gym, yoga if I don't have time for neither, that helps really well and good nutrition,
you need to feed yourself to feel good, because hormones and metabolic health, that's a basis,
because our body is biochemistry laboratory, if something goes wrong, it will affect
(31:20):
our mood, energy levels and just general, how you feel.
Belle (31:25):
Well it must be working because your mental attitude towards everything that has come your way,
these past few years has just been remarkable. And I must mention Toastmasters as well,
we mustn't forget that because a lot of people would be familiar with Toastmasters,
the international group that helps with communication and public speaking and so on,
(31:45):
because you also took it upon yourself didn't you, to do that just to help with your English?
Tetiana (31:50):
Yeah, Toastmasters helped a lot doing speeches, helped basically with both, with my English and
with my mental health because it was a place where I felt myself like in a previous life,
we talked about ego before, it was my food for my ego, but I can be on a stage, I can speak,
(32:13):
and together with developing my English just feel good, feel that I'm still okay, I'm still qualified,
I'm still can have stuff to tell people.
Toastmasters definitely helped a lot to grow my confidence I would say, because I learned to be
okay that I'm not okay with English, and it's also a big part of my self training, to be on a stage,
(32:41):
forgetting words, it's okay Tetiana, nobody will kill you after that,
or just saying if you don't know right structure, grammar structure, just say it,
if you don't know what what you say or tell, just use any, people will understand you,
(33:04):
that's okay, so it's really big thing to be okay with yourself the way you are, you still developing,
you still learning, tomorrow you will be better, but today instead of be frozen and don't move
forward, don't do any steps, you keep going and you will make mistakes and that's okay, it's a part
(33:29):
of the process of grows, if you don't do any steps forward you won't do any mistakes and you won't grow.
Belle (33:36):
Where do you think you got this incredible mindset from? Was it your parents or your grandparents?
Where did it come from? Tetiana (33:41):
Hard life and my grandparents, I think, but I had really good
connection with my granddad, he's not with us anymore, he was a physics and maths teacher and
head teacher at school, but he was so wise and I wish I learned more from him and he had such a
(34:04):
positive attitude, I don't know. "Somewhere, we will find solution", that was his words all the time,
I will tell a short pre-story because he's a maths teacher, I had to learn maths and physics
every single holiday, you can imagine, when people, other children playing outside in the summer,
I had to deal with difficult maths tasks and physics tasks and if I can't find solution, he said,
(34:31):
"okay, go and come back with your ideas", so he taught me a lot about looking for solution and
never give up and he would help me in the end of the day if I don't have any ideas anymore,
but it helped me a lot to build myself and when I was fed up with all this study and was cross
with this and I want to play like other children, I don't want to learn this maths all the time and he
(34:57):
said "Tetiana, listen to me, the only things you don't need to carry, they're not heavy in your
life is your knowledge, your experience, and your attitude, and you will take it everywhere and
it's always will be with you", everything else can go like my house in Kherson, my career, my
(35:21):
car, even my family, everything, but your knowledge, your experience, your attitude would always be with
you, so that's what I crossed the border in Czech Republic, crossed the border in the UK and if I
need to leave the UK, I will cross the border with all of this stuff again and it was a really good
lesson from my granddad. Belle (35:39):
Wow, I think that's a good lesson for all of us, that's just beautiful,
absolutely beautiful. Tetiana, what are your hopes for yourself and your son and for Ukraine?
Tetiana (35:51):
Yeah, peace, I wish I worry about normal stuff, I really hope people in Ukraine
will worry about where to go for holiday rather than everything else that they worry about now
and I wish their biggest problem would be how to book flights to go to holiday. Belle (36:13):
Just something to
look forward to. Tetiana (36:21):
Something to look forward to, yeah, and yeah flights will be again in Ukraine and
peace and what's this really important long-term peace, I don't know whether it's possible with our
neighbour but I really hope families get their fathers and husbands back and yeah live just normal life.
Belle (36:48):
Well Tetiana, your journey reminds us all I think that even when so much is taken away that mindset
really is everything and thank you to your granddad for just instilling that in you that you could
pass it on to us as well. And I should ask also if anyone in the UK would like to use your services in
the health coaching area, how can they get in touch with you? Tetiana (37:11):
You can search on Google
"health coach Thame" or "health coach Tetiana Fomenko", you can find me on Google Maps, on my website,
on Facebook or Instagram, so the magic words, "health coach Tetiana Fomenko" and I would be really happy to
hear from you. Belle (37:35):
Fantastic and I'll put those links in the show notes on the podcast as well.
Tetiana, I can't begin to tell you how much I've enjoyed speaking with you today, thank you so much.
Tetiana (37:48):
Really easy to talk to you. Belle
for sharing your story and for reminding us that even in the face of crisis our mindset can take
us further than we even believe possible. It's an amazing story. Tetiana, I know I speak on behalf of
(38:08):
everyone listening to this podcast when I say that I wish you, your son, your family, and all of
Ukraine, peace, hope and healing. Thank you. Tetiana (38:15):
Thank you for having me it was such a pleasure.
Belle (38:22):
What a story, hey? Well if Tetiana's courage and wisdom resonated with you today,
please do get in touch or you can send Tetiana a message as well, I'll make sure that they get to her.
You'll find the contact details in the show notes to this podcast or just head to stepintomepodcast.com.
(38:42):
Thank you so much for listening, I'm Belinda Lee and this is Step Into Me helping you find the courage
to step into your true self.
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