June 8, 2025 • 19 mins
Are you ready to break free from endless drama and reclaim your peace?
Belle shares a personal story to demonstrate how drama can take over your life. Discover how to recognise the patterns that keep you stuck in cycles of stress and conflict, and learn practical steps to say “no more drama.” If you’re tired of drama and ready for real change, this episode is your invitation to step out of the chaos and into clarity. Enjoyed this episode? Follow Step Into Me and leave a five-star review to help others find their way to a drama-free, empowered life.
GET IN TOUCH: Step Into Me Website | Instagram | Facebook | Email | Insights Newsletter
LINKS: "The Work" by Byron Katie, "The Untethered Soul" by Michael Singer, "Man's Search for Meaning" by Vikor Frankl, Tony Robbins
DISCLAIMER: The information shared in this podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. I am not a medical professional. If you’re experiencing health or mental health issues, please seek advice from a qualified healthcare provider.
CREDITS: Theme Music: "Strive to Be Better" by Craig Riley (licensed) Incidental Music: "Action Strike" Written by Rafael Krux (freepd.com), "Fluidscape" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com), Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License, creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
#SelfImprovementPodcast #NoMoreDrama #StepIntoMePodcast #SelfHelpPodcast #LetGoOfDrama #RewriteYourStory #NewPodcast
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hi there. Before this episode begins, I should point out that I'm not a health or medical
(00:05):
professional. The information I share on this podcast is intended only to educate, inspire,
uplift and support you on your life's path. If you believe you may have a psychological
or medical condition, please seek help from a qualified health or medical professional.
Hello and welcome to episode three of Step Into Me.
(00:29):
I'm Belinda Lee and today I want to have a chat about drama. I'm not talking about the
drama we see on stage or on the television at night. I'm talking about the kind of drama
that keeps us stuck. The drama we create in our minds and sometimes have on repeat. It's
the kind of stuff that keeps us up at night. Maybe you've caught yourself rehearsing
(00:51):
what you wish you'd said or what you're planning to say to someone in the future. We've
all done it, imagining some sort of confrontation that may never happen. Maybe you've just
started creating drama around a new job or a relationship or someone else's expectations
have been playing on your mind and now you're starting to feel weighed down by everything.
(01:13):
If you'd like to reclaim a little piece of mind, this episode is for you. It's time to
say no more drama.
(01:33):
Let's be honest, drama is addictive. We don't mean to create drama but sometimes we just
let our thoughts run wild and before we know it, we're bracing ourselves for that next family
gathering or we're in tears (I've done this) because we've dreamt up some outrageous scenario.
That deep down we know is never ever going to happen. But we let it play out in our minds
(02:00):
and worse, we actually allow ourselves to feel the drama. Our bodies don't know any different.
So we end up feeling the actual feelings that we'd feel if that scenario were true. It's
bonkers because we are allowing our thoughts, our moods, even our actions to be dictated
(02:21):
by something that just isn't real. And I think now more than ever we need to get real
with ourselves. There's already enough fake stuff in the world, fake news, fake images,
fake food. We just don't have much control over any of that but we can control our thoughts
which is why it's important to remember that we're always in the driver's seat. We don't
(02:43):
have to go down those drama rabbit holes. I'll admit sometimes drama can be comforting, those
patterns are familiar even when we know that they're doing us more harm than good. But what if
there was a way out? What if we could step off that merry-go-round and choose something different?
Let me give you a very real example from my own life.
(03:12):
In 2023, I was getting married in the UK. It's where I've lived for the past six years.
Now as an Australian, I still have strong ties to my hometown of Perth in Western Australia.
But my fiancé and I knew that London was the right place for us to get married. I'm in my mid-50s,
he was in his mid-60s. So we just wanted to have a fun, simple ceremony. And being big Beatles fans
(03:39):
and living in the UK, we thought it would be fun to get married at Marylebone Town Hall. It's an
iconic London building and it happens to be where Ringo and Paul got married. It seemed perfect for us.
We also didn't want to pressure family and friends to travel across the world for what would be a
15 or 20-minute service. So we paid to have the wedding live streamed. It all seemed absolutely
(04:01):
perfect for us and we were super excited about it. But not everyone was happy. A very close family
member made it very clear that they were disappointed and I get that, I do. Everyone loves a wedding.
Everyone wants to go to a friend's wedding. But logistically trying to organise a wedding in Australia
from the UK was not something that I wanted to do. And like I said, we only wanted something small,
(04:27):
and really had our hearts set on Marylebone Town Hall. So I honestly thought that the person letting me
know that they were disappointed was getting it off their chest and that would be the end of it.
Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. Every single time I spoke to this person, they told me it was
wrong. They even went so far as to call me "selfish", ouch, that hurt. They were upset. And after a few
(04:54):
months of this, I was getting upset too. I started replaying our phone conversations in the shower, while
I was driving, as I lay in bed at night. And I found myself pre-empting future conversations. I'd
be cleaning the kitchen and playing out some heated discussion in my mind. So now, not only was I
copping it for real every time we spoke on the phone, but I was also bombarding myself over and over
(05:20):
and over again. So it wasn't the family member causing me grief. Those made-up conversations,
that drama, that was all on me. Well, it all came to a head about three weeks out from the wedding.
By this stage, I was feeling pretty miserable when I should have been pretty excited.
And one morning, after a sleepless night, I decided it was time to put an end to it all.
(05:43):
I picked up my mobile phone, sent a text message saying that the negativity just had to stop.
I pointed out that in this person's eyes, I'd never been good enough, thin enough, present
enough, successful enough, and now I was disappointing them yet again. And I ended the text with
these words. I said, "I'm truly sorry that this won't be the wedding of your dreams, but it will
(06:08):
be the wedding of mine." I hit send, felt a huge sense of relief. I had done it. No more. This person
could hurt me no more. But then almost instantly, something inside said to me, "What has actually changed?"
And I sat there for a moment thinking what had actually changed? Because I knew my text was going to
(06:32):
have absolutely zero impact on this person. But what had changed was my thinking about it all.
I was no longer carrying the weight of those words, or that person's expectations. I was free,
just like that, just like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, who always had the power to get back to
(06:53):
Kansas. I too had always had that power to let those comments wash over me. But instead, I had created
drama around it all. The comments were real, and yes, they hurt every time I heard them. But I was the one
who created the drama around those conversations and just made it bigger than what it had to be.
(07:14):
So it took that text message to disconnect my feelings and emotions from the criticism.
But I could have done it much sooner had I chosen to. And the irony of that story is that the family
member in question also had a moment of realization, only for them it happened during the wedding
service as they were watching on their computer on the other side of the world. They realized that
(07:40):
they could have been in London watching it happen live. The only thing that stopped them from booking
a ticket was the drama that they created around that moment when I announced that we were getting
married in London. The story they created about it being wrong disrespectful selfish. Those
thoughts, that drama hijacked their opportunity to be at the wedding. So just imagine how things might
(08:06):
have been different had they, let's say, initially voiced their disappointment, fine, but then told
themselves that they would turn that negative into something positive for themselves. A different
kind of story, one where they maybe saw themselves saving up for a holiday, getting a new outfit for
the big day. Imagine the conversations we might have had then. These are just two examples of how
(08:28):
the stories we create in our minds can impact our lives. And at any given moment we can change those
stories in a flash. At any point I could have attached a different story to those phone conversations.
I could have chosen to be more compassionate than defensive or I could have chosen to be like Teflon
and just let the comments wash over me. Same too for my relative, they could have stopped getting so
(08:54):
worked up about it being wrong in their mind. It didn't have to be that way, for either of us.
The drama we both created made everything just so much worse.
So have a think about it, what are your drama stories? Does your drama involve family, as
mine did, or, is it even more personal than that? We've probably all met someone who has an
(09:16):
internal drama story about their love life, the person who believes they're unlovable or never
going to find love. What if they change that story to, "I know the right person is waiting for me."
It's just a change of thought. We all have stories that we tell ourselves about who we are,
what we deserve, how others should behave. Sometimes these stories are handed down by family,
(09:41):
culture, past experiences, but very often they're fueled by our egos. That part of us that wants to
be right, to be seen, to be loved, or to avoid pain. It's that mental rehearsal, the shoulds and
the shouldn'ts, the blame, and the replaying of old wounds. Our egos simply loves drama.
(10:02):
In Buddhism, they teach that suffering comes not from events themselves, but from our attachment
to those events and the stories that we weave around them. In fact, there's a great Buddhist saying,
"Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional." It's when we cling to how things should be,
or replay old grievances. That's when we create our own suffering. That's exactly what happened
(10:27):
every time I replayed those phone conversations or planned for future conversations. The conversations
weren't happening in that moment. I was recreating them and recreating all the suffering that came
with them. If you've ever seen motivational speaker Tony Robbins in action, you'll know he talks a lot
about the power of story. Tony often says, "Change your story, change your life." And it's true. If you keep
(10:55):
telling yourself the story of being the victim, the black sheep, or the person who never measures up,
(hello, guilty is charged), you'll keep living it. But you can choose a new story. It's one where you
are the hero, not the victim, where you're the author, not the audience. I remember reading about the
English comedian Jennifer Saunders when she was receiving treatment for breast cancer. She chose to
(11:19):
describe the experience as a "process" rather than a battle. Olivia Newton-John also refused to use
words such as "battle" or "fight", choosing instead to call herself a "cancer thriver". Both of those women
didn't want to be seen as victims, so they chose their stories wisely. If you've been holding on to a
(11:41):
story that's been causing you more grief than good, you actually have the power to change it right
this moment. So how do you actually let go of drama, especially in those moments when it feels
impossible? Well, let me share with you a quick visualization technique I learned many years ago.
It was from the Tibetan Buddhist Society in Perth, Western Australia, and I call it the
(12:04):
"Freeze Frame" technique. It's one I like to use myself and boy, do I wish that I'd remembered this
when all that wedding drama was playing out? And it just goes to show no matter how much we are into
all this sort of thing and the books that we read and the practices and the meditation, we still
forget to put it into practice sometimes, which is exactly why I've created this podcast to help us
(12:28):
remember some of those tools and techniques and just to hear other people's stories to show us how we
can reconnect with our true selves and stop all the drama. So this is the Freeze Frame technique.
It's really cool. If you can just sit comfortably with your eyes closed and take a few slow,
(12:49):
deep breaths to relax. In your mind, bring up a familiar situation with a family member or loved one
or friend or work colleague, a conversation or situation where things always seem to go pear-shaped.
Now I want you to play it out in your mind as if you're watching a movie.
(13:18):
And just before things start to spiral, before voices are raised or feelings are hurt,
I want you to hit the pause button in your mind and freeze that scene right at that crucial moment.
So just take a moment to do that.
And with that scene frozen, imagine yourself gently stepping out of the scene.
(13:45):
The frozen image is still there. You can see yourself. You can see the other person or the other people,
but you're looking at the whole situation as if you're an observer of fly on the wall as it were.
Now look at each person. Look at the expressions on their faces, their body language,
(14:06):
try to feel their pain. See what they're afraid of.
Then look at yourself frozen in time. Look at your expression. Feel your pain, your frustration.
What are you afraid of in this moment?
Now with the scene still frozen and you as the observer, the fly on the wall, ask yourself,
(14:30):
what could I do in this moment to prevent this from spiraling?
What could I do in this moment to prevent this from spiraling?
Sometimes it takes a while to figure it out. You can't control anyone else in the room,
(14:53):
but you, you hold the key to resolving this issue, but it all depends on what you choose to do next.
So keep looking at this frozen image in your mind, looking at everyone involved and keep asking
yourself, what could I do or say to bring this to a happier, calmer conclusion?
(15:14):
Sometimes it might be simple, sometimes it might feel like a big aha moment,
but when it does come, just let that scene play out again. Hit the play button and let it roll,
but this time try your new response. Maybe you stay silent, maybe you change the subject,
(15:37):
maybe you offer a kind word or simply walk away, but watch how the energy shifts in the room.
This is the kind of power that you have available every moment of every day.
So when you have found your solution, hit save, store it in your head,
(15:58):
and just keep it there for the next time that that real life situation pops up and have your
response ready to go and just see how it plays out. It's not about controlling others,
it's not about rewriting the past, it's about giving yourself a moment of awareness and choice.
And all too often, suffering comes from our automatic reactions and attachments to old stories.
(16:23):
So by pausing and choosing a new response, we can actually free ourselves from those old patterns.
It's letting go of drama, it's not about winning or being right, it's just about freeing yourself
from the stories that have been keeping you stuck. It doesn't matter whether you call it non-attachment
or forgiveness or moving on, the result is the same. It's about lightness, it's about freedom
(16:49):
and the space to write a new chapter. Victor Frankl, the Holocaust survivor who wrote "Man's Search
for Meaning" famously said, "Between stimulus and response, there is a space. And in that space is
our power to choose our response." And speaking of books, in addition to Victor Frankl's, which is a
(17:09):
great read, there are a couple of others that I would recommend if this is a subject that you'd like
to delve into further. The first is "The Untethered Soul" by Michael Singer. This one takes you on a
journey from not only looking closely at the voice in your head to learning how to let go of what he
calls the inner thorn. And it's all about taking down the walls and finally finding that path to
(17:34):
happiness. The other book is one that I absolutely love, Byron Katie's "Loving What Is". Now this book
is filled with transcripts from Katie's events where she goes through a process with people called
the work. It's really quite amazing stuff. Using just four simple questions, Katie helps people
get unstuck, seeing things from different perspectives and really finding those aha moments that change
(18:00):
everything for them, which is just amazing to read. And there are some practical steps you can take
to to help stop the drama. Firstly, notice your triggers. When do you fill yourself slipping into
drama? Is it with certain people, certain situations, certain topics? Secondly, accept what you
(18:20):
can't control. Anyone who's ever gone through the 12 step AA program, the serenity prayer, will be
familiar with that one. You can't make someone else happy. The only story you can ever rewrite is
your own, accept what you can't control. Practice letting go. Sometimes simply pausing to breathe can
(18:40):
help you step back from the swirl of emotion. Next time you feel that drama rising, ask yourself
one of Byron Katie's great questions, "Who would I be without this story?" That's a big one. "Who would
I be without this story?" And finally, try to find compassion for both yourself and others. Letting
(19:03):
go never means pretending that you weren't hurt. It means you recognize your pain, you offer
yourself some compassion, and then you choose not to carry it anymore.
Well, drama can be a wonderful thing when it's played out on stage or the big screen,
but when we add it to our own lives, it only really serves to waste time and hold us back from what
(19:28):
we truly want to be. If you recognize yourself in today's episode, try letting go of just one drama story
this week. Notice how it feels. And if you want, let me know how it goes. I'd love to hear from you.
The email address is mail@stepintomepodcast.com. Well, if you enjoyed today's episode, please give it
(19:50):
five stars and follow so you don't miss future episodes. Thank you so much for listening. I'm
Belinda Lee. This is Step Into Me, helping you find the courage to be true to you.
Hi there. Before this episode begins, I should point out that I'm not a health or medical
(00:05):
professional. The information I share on this podcast is intended only to educate, inspire,
uplift and support you on your life's path. If you believe you may have a psychological
or medical condition, please seek help from a qualified health or medical professional.
Hello and welcome to episode three of Step Into Me.
(00:29):
I'm Belinda Lee and today I want to have a chat about drama. I'm not talking about the
drama we see on stage or on the television at night. I'm talking about the kind of drama
that keeps us stuck. The drama we create in our minds and sometimes have on repeat. It's
the kind of stuff that keeps us up at night. Maybe you've caught yourself rehearsing
(00:51):
what you wish you'd said or what you're planning to say to someone in the future. We've
all done it, imagining some sort of confrontation that may never happen. Maybe you've just
started creating drama around a new job or a relationship or someone else's expectations
have been playing on your mind and now you're starting to feel weighed down by everything.
(01:13):
If you'd like to reclaim a little piece of mind, this episode is for you. It's time to
say no more drama.
(01:33):
Let's be honest, drama is addictive. We don't mean to create drama but sometimes we just
let our thoughts run wild and before we know it, we're bracing ourselves for that next family
gathering or we're in tears (I've done this) because we've dreamt up some outrageous scenario.
That deep down we know is never ever going to happen. But we let it play out in our minds
(02:00):
and worse, we actually allow ourselves to feel the drama. Our bodies don't know any different.
So we end up feeling the actual feelings that we'd feel if that scenario were true. It's
bonkers because we are allowing our thoughts, our moods, even our actions to be dictated
(02:21):
by something that just isn't real. And I think now more than ever we need to get real
with ourselves. There's already enough fake stuff in the world, fake news, fake images,
fake food. We just don't have much control over any of that but we can control our thoughts
which is why it's important to remember that we're always in the driver's seat. We don't
(02:43):
have to go down those drama rabbit holes. I'll admit sometimes drama can be comforting, those
patterns are familiar even when we know that they're doing us more harm than good. But what if
there was a way out? What if we could step off that merry-go-round and choose something different?
Let me give you a very real example from my own life.
(03:12):
In 2023, I was getting married in the UK. It's where I've lived for the past six years.
Now as an Australian, I still have strong ties to my hometown of Perth in Western Australia.
But my fiancé and I knew that London was the right place for us to get married. I'm in my mid-50s,
he was in his mid-60s. So we just wanted to have a fun, simple ceremony. And being big Beatles fans
(03:39):
and living in the UK, we thought it would be fun to get married at Marylebone Town Hall. It's an
iconic London building and it happens to be where Ringo and Paul got married. It seemed perfect for us.
We also didn't want to pressure family and friends to travel across the world for what would be a
15 or 20-minute service. So we paid to have the wedding live streamed. It all seemed absolutely
(04:01):
perfect for us and we were super excited about it. But not everyone was happy. A very close family
member made it very clear that they were disappointed and I get that, I do. Everyone loves a wedding.
Everyone wants to go to a friend's wedding. But logistically trying to organise a wedding in Australia
from the UK was not something that I wanted to do. And like I said, we only wanted something small,
(04:27):
and really had our hearts set on Marylebone Town Hall. So I honestly thought that the person letting me
know that they were disappointed was getting it off their chest and that would be the end of it.
Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. Every single time I spoke to this person, they told me it was
wrong. They even went so far as to call me "selfish", ouch, that hurt. They were upset. And after a few
(04:54):
months of this, I was getting upset too. I started replaying our phone conversations in the shower, while
I was driving, as I lay in bed at night. And I found myself pre-empting future conversations. I'd
be cleaning the kitchen and playing out some heated discussion in my mind. So now, not only was I
copping it for real every time we spoke on the phone, but I was also bombarding myself over and over
(05:20):
and over again. So it wasn't the family member causing me grief. Those made-up conversations,
that drama, that was all on me. Well, it all came to a head about three weeks out from the wedding.
By this stage, I was feeling pretty miserable when I should have been pretty excited.
And one morning, after a sleepless night, I decided it was time to put an end to it all.
(05:43):
I picked up my mobile phone, sent a text message saying that the negativity just had to stop.
I pointed out that in this person's eyes, I'd never been good enough, thin enough, present
enough, successful enough, and now I was disappointing them yet again. And I ended the text with
these words. I said, "I'm truly sorry that this won't be the wedding of your dreams, but it will
(06:08):
be the wedding of mine." I hit send, felt a huge sense of relief. I had done it. No more. This person
could hurt me no more. But then almost instantly, something inside said to me, "What has actually changed?"
And I sat there for a moment thinking what had actually changed? Because I knew my text was going to
(06:32):
have absolutely zero impact on this person. But what had changed was my thinking about it all.
I was no longer carrying the weight of those words, or that person's expectations. I was free,
just like that, just like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, who always had the power to get back to
(06:53):
Kansas. I too had always had that power to let those comments wash over me. But instead, I had created
drama around it all. The comments were real, and yes, they hurt every time I heard them. But I was the one
who created the drama around those conversations and just made it bigger than what it had to be.
(07:14):
So it took that text message to disconnect my feelings and emotions from the criticism.
But I could have done it much sooner had I chosen to. And the irony of that story is that the family
member in question also had a moment of realization, only for them it happened during the wedding
service as they were watching on their computer on the other side of the world. They realized that
(07:40):
they could have been in London watching it happen live. The only thing that stopped them from booking
a ticket was the drama that they created around that moment when I announced that we were getting
married in London. The story they created about it being wrong disrespectful selfish. Those
thoughts, that drama hijacked their opportunity to be at the wedding. So just imagine how things might
(08:06):
have been different had they, let's say, initially voiced their disappointment, fine, but then told
themselves that they would turn that negative into something positive for themselves. A different
kind of story, one where they maybe saw themselves saving up for a holiday, getting a new outfit for
the big day. Imagine the conversations we might have had then. These are just two examples of how
(08:28):
the stories we create in our minds can impact our lives. And at any given moment we can change those
stories in a flash. At any point I could have attached a different story to those phone conversations.
I could have chosen to be more compassionate than defensive or I could have chosen to be like Teflon
and just let the comments wash over me. Same too for my relative, they could have stopped getting so
(08:54):
worked up about it being wrong in their mind. It didn't have to be that way, for either of us.
The drama we both created made everything just so much worse.
So have a think about it, what are your drama stories? Does your drama involve family, as
mine did, or, is it even more personal than that? We've probably all met someone who has an
(09:16):
internal drama story about their love life, the person who believes they're unlovable or never
going to find love. What if they change that story to, "I know the right person is waiting for me."
It's just a change of thought. We all have stories that we tell ourselves about who we are,
what we deserve, how others should behave. Sometimes these stories are handed down by family,
(09:41):
culture, past experiences, but very often they're fueled by our egos. That part of us that wants to
be right, to be seen, to be loved, or to avoid pain. It's that mental rehearsal, the shoulds and
the shouldn'ts, the blame, and the replaying of old wounds. Our egos simply loves drama.
(10:02):
In Buddhism, they teach that suffering comes not from events themselves, but from our attachment
to those events and the stories that we weave around them. In fact, there's a great Buddhist saying,
"Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional." It's when we cling to how things should be,
or replay old grievances. That's when we create our own suffering. That's exactly what happened
(10:27):
every time I replayed those phone conversations or planned for future conversations. The conversations
weren't happening in that moment. I was recreating them and recreating all the suffering that came
with them. If you've ever seen motivational speaker Tony Robbins in action, you'll know he talks a lot
about the power of story. Tony often says, "Change your story, change your life." And it's true. If you keep
(10:55):
telling yourself the story of being the victim, the black sheep, or the person who never measures up,
(hello, guilty is charged), you'll keep living it. But you can choose a new story. It's one where you
are the hero, not the victim, where you're the author, not the audience. I remember reading about the
English comedian Jennifer Saunders when she was receiving treatment for breast cancer. She chose to
(11:19):
describe the experience as a "process" rather than a battle. Olivia Newton-John also refused to use
words such as "battle" or "fight", choosing instead to call herself a "cancer thriver". Both of those women
didn't want to be seen as victims, so they chose their stories wisely. If you've been holding on to a
(11:41):
story that's been causing you more grief than good, you actually have the power to change it right
this moment. So how do you actually let go of drama, especially in those moments when it feels
impossible? Well, let me share with you a quick visualization technique I learned many years ago.
It was from the Tibetan Buddhist Society in Perth, Western Australia, and I call it the
(12:04):
"Freeze Frame" technique. It's one I like to use myself and boy, do I wish that I'd remembered this
when all that wedding drama was playing out? And it just goes to show no matter how much we are into
all this sort of thing and the books that we read and the practices and the meditation, we still
forget to put it into practice sometimes, which is exactly why I've created this podcast to help us
(12:28):
remember some of those tools and techniques and just to hear other people's stories to show us how we
can reconnect with our true selves and stop all the drama. So this is the Freeze Frame technique.
It's really cool. If you can just sit comfortably with your eyes closed and take a few slow,
(12:49):
deep breaths to relax. In your mind, bring up a familiar situation with a family member or loved one
or friend or work colleague, a conversation or situation where things always seem to go pear-shaped.
Now I want you to play it out in your mind as if you're watching a movie.
(13:18):
And just before things start to spiral, before voices are raised or feelings are hurt,
I want you to hit the pause button in your mind and freeze that scene right at that crucial moment.
So just take a moment to do that.
And with that scene frozen, imagine yourself gently stepping out of the scene.
(13:45):
The frozen image is still there. You can see yourself. You can see the other person or the other people,
but you're looking at the whole situation as if you're an observer of fly on the wall as it were.
Now look at each person. Look at the expressions on their faces, their body language,
(14:06):
try to feel their pain. See what they're afraid of.
Then look at yourself frozen in time. Look at your expression. Feel your pain, your frustration.
What are you afraid of in this moment?
Now with the scene still frozen and you as the observer, the fly on the wall, ask yourself,
(14:30):
what could I do in this moment to prevent this from spiraling?
What could I do in this moment to prevent this from spiraling?
Sometimes it takes a while to figure it out. You can't control anyone else in the room,
(14:53):
but you, you hold the key to resolving this issue, but it all depends on what you choose to do next.
So keep looking at this frozen image in your mind, looking at everyone involved and keep asking
yourself, what could I do or say to bring this to a happier, calmer conclusion?
(15:14):
Sometimes it might be simple, sometimes it might feel like a big aha moment,
but when it does come, just let that scene play out again. Hit the play button and let it roll,
but this time try your new response. Maybe you stay silent, maybe you change the subject,
(15:37):
maybe you offer a kind word or simply walk away, but watch how the energy shifts in the room.
This is the kind of power that you have available every moment of every day.
So when you have found your solution, hit save, store it in your head,
(15:58):
and just keep it there for the next time that that real life situation pops up and have your
response ready to go and just see how it plays out. It's not about controlling others,
it's not about rewriting the past, it's about giving yourself a moment of awareness and choice.
And all too often, suffering comes from our automatic reactions and attachments to old stories.
(16:23):
So by pausing and choosing a new response, we can actually free ourselves from those old patterns.
It's letting go of drama, it's not about winning or being right, it's just about freeing yourself
from the stories that have been keeping you stuck. It doesn't matter whether you call it non-attachment
or forgiveness or moving on, the result is the same. It's about lightness, it's about freedom
(16:49):
and the space to write a new chapter. Victor Frankl, the Holocaust survivor who wrote "Man's Search
for Meaning" famously said, "Between stimulus and response, there is a space. And in that space is
our power to choose our response." And speaking of books, in addition to Victor Frankl's, which is a
(17:09):
great read, there are a couple of others that I would recommend if this is a subject that you'd like
to delve into further. The first is "The Untethered Soul" by Michael Singer. This one takes you on a
journey from not only looking closely at the voice in your head to learning how to let go of what he
calls the inner thorn. And it's all about taking down the walls and finally finding that path to
(17:34):
happiness. The other book is one that I absolutely love, Byron Katie's "Loving What Is". Now this book
is filled with transcripts from Katie's events where she goes through a process with people called
the work. It's really quite amazing stuff. Using just four simple questions, Katie helps people
get unstuck, seeing things from different perspectives and really finding those aha moments that change
(18:00):
everything for them, which is just amazing to read. And there are some practical steps you can take
to to help stop the drama. Firstly, notice your triggers. When do you fill yourself slipping into
drama? Is it with certain people, certain situations, certain topics? Secondly, accept what you
(18:20):
can't control. Anyone who's ever gone through the 12 step AA program, the serenity prayer, will be
familiar with that one. You can't make someone else happy. The only story you can ever rewrite is
your own, accept what you can't control. Practice letting go. Sometimes simply pausing to breathe can
(18:40):
help you step back from the swirl of emotion. Next time you feel that drama rising, ask yourself
one of Byron Katie's great questions, "Who would I be without this story?" That's a big one. "Who would
I be without this story?" And finally, try to find compassion for both yourself and others. Letting
(19:03):
go never means pretending that you weren't hurt. It means you recognize your pain, you offer
yourself some compassion, and then you choose not to carry it anymore.
Well, drama can be a wonderful thing when it's played out on stage or the big screen,
but when we add it to our own lives, it only really serves to waste time and hold us back from what
(19:28):
we truly want to be. If you recognize yourself in today's episode, try letting go of just one drama story
this week. Notice how it feels. And if you want, let me know how it goes. I'd love to hear from you.
The email address is mail@stepintomepodcast.com. Well, if you enjoyed today's episode, please give it
(19:50):
five stars and follow so you don't miss future episodes. Thank you so much for listening. I'm
Belinda Lee. This is Step Into Me, helping you find the courage to be true to you.
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