January 12, 2025 • 49 mins
In this enlightening episode of Stories and Stanza, host Abhra welcomes Kristen Carter, an experienced exercise physiologist and wellness coach, to discuss the importance of embracing failure and the realistic strategies for achieving long-term health and fitness goals. Drawing on years of experience and extensive certifications, Kristen sheds light on why most diets fail and how shifting focus from blaming oneself to improving strategies can lead to better outcomes. The discussion also covers crucial topics like emotional eating, the impact of processed foods, the significance of self-compassion, and practical tips for setting realistic health goals. Whether you're on a weight loss journey or simply seeking a healthier lifestyle, this episode provides valuable insights and resources, including Kristen's books and coaching services. Tune in to discover how small, mindful changes can make a big difference in your overall wellbeing.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:06):
.Abhra: It is okay to fail, to normalize failure.
And it is in our failures thatwe learn and we really grow.
Diets invariably fail.
We know the statistics on that.
It's probably 98 percent of the time.
and once that happens, does the person askthemselves, Was it the diet that failed?
(00:32):
Because they like to place blame.
Did I fail?
Or was it the strategy that failed?
in the work that I do, I try to go, Igo with, it's the strategy that failed.
You are not a failure.
One of my jobs is to help peopleidentify, feelings of being a failure.
(00:58):
And then move on from there, It's okay.
that's how we learn.
You're the only one who can decide what'sgoing to work and what isn't for you.
Are you obediently following somethingor are you embracing something?
(01:18):
Because if you're embracing something,
then you can keep going.
If you're just following along,you're going to resist, you're going
to rebel, and you're going to quit.
Life flows like anendless ocean of stories.
(01:39):
We often miss these precious tales.
As we rush through our days, toconsume by daily struggles, to
notice the poetry swirling around us.
Yet within these stories lie the keysto our past, sparks for our creativity,
and fresh winds to fill our sails.
(02:00):
I'm Abhra, a writer based inMelbourne, in quest of those stories
with diverse voices that tell themfrom every corner of the world.
Welcome to Stories and Stanza.
Hi Kristen.
Welcome to Stories and Stanza.
How are you doing today?
Kristen (02:17):
I'm doing great.
Thank you.
Abhra (02:19):
I'm looking glad to be here.
I'm looking forward to have you, on myshow and it's called Stories and Stanza
because it is, my love for poetry andit's a place for, inspiring stories
and real life stories, et cetera.
And we will be talking in a sectioncalled fail with me, which is, what
(02:44):
I told you about that it is, itreflects a journey of my life where
I found things to be very difficult.
And then when I started, turning thingsaround, I decided to open up about my
challenges and instead of sounding verypreachy, I wanted to give the idea you.
(03:06):
that it is okay to fail,to normalize failure.
And it is in our failures thatwe learn and we really grow.
So that is just a little bit of contextfor what, this particular series is about.
And for our audience, couldyou briefly introduce yourself?
Kristen (03:29):
Sure.
I'm Christian Carter.
excuse me, I'm an exercisephysiologist, which means I studied
the human body's response to exerciseand what works and what doesn't.
And that includes nutritionand metabolism and aging.
And, neurology, all those things.
(03:53):
So I have done that and gotten aton of certifications as well, in
coaching nutrition, in being a healthcoach, lifestyle coach, golf fitness
coach, and, and things like that.
And I've worked, because of my degreeand my certifications, I've had a chance
(04:16):
to work with people in all kinds ofsettings and, trying to do all kinds
of things to lose weight and exercise.
so I've been part of weightloss groups, leading weight
loss groups and exercise groups.
And so I've been doing this for 30 years.
(04:38):
And at the end, I have written a coupleof books I can talk about later, but,
the point is I've heard a lot of failuresand a lot of frustration over the years.
And, I actually wrote these booksto help people with, that concept
(04:59):
of failure, to not let it stopyou to take a look at it instead.
And there are so manyupsides to doing that.
So anyway, that's the kind oflong story there of who I am.
Abhra (05:14):
Wonderful.
And I'll start with a little bit of mypersonal journey that in this health
space, I tried losing weight twice.
And it didn't work, and I had noidea what I was doing wrong, okay?
And I think we are surroundedby so much of misinformation,
(05:38):
biases, and things like that.
It is very important to understandwhat works for our body.
And, which is why I am really thankful.
To,
hearing your experience and it is notjust theoretical knowledge and you have
(05:59):
been practicing this for a long time.
So I'm really looking forward to hearingfrom you that what are our challenges
and how we can make a difference andof course know, about your books.
Okay, so yeah, so in this space, Idefinitely have failed and I have
(06:21):
learned to be better, with time.
thank you, once againfor joining us today.
let us, start with understanding someof the challenges according to you,
what you have seen in your experience,what is holding us back, into this
(06:43):
fitness and wellness, journey?
Kristen (06:47):
Okay, I'll start with, your own experience with, trying to lose
weight and dieting and so many otherpeople that I've seen trying to do that.
often the question is,so diets invariably fail.
We know the statistics on that isprobably 98 percent of the time.
(07:12):
and once that happens, does the person askthemselves, Was it the diet that failed?
Because they like to place blame.
Did I fail?
Or was it the strategy that failed?
in the work that I do, I try to go, Igo with, it's the strategy that failed.
(07:38):
You are not a failure.
Everybody screws up.
Particularly with dieting.
it's no good trying to blame the diet,because you blame the diet, then you
think, you're just going to try anotherone, because that one didn't work.
And then you'll see if that oneworks, and that doesn't work either.
(08:01):
And I would also say, in terms of failure,that you may be trying another diet
already knowing That you have failedbefore, and so you're already starting
behind the eight ball with that concept.
Okay, so you're just going to trysomething else that failed before
(08:25):
and that is a challenge.
And now I would say with the coachingthat I do, one of the challenges
is getting people to think aboutif, how they feel about that.
Do they have, do they identifywith being a failure or do they.
(08:46):
don't think about it, eventhough it's always there.
There's that sort of background.
I'm no good at this feeling and somepeople are better at identity, excuse
me, identifying that than others.
So one of my jobs is to help peopleidentify, feelings of being a
(09:08):
failure and then move on from there.
It's okay.
that's how we learn and we cantalk about that later, I think.
Abhra (09:20):
Absolutely.
So if I were to say start from thebeginning, so what you said very
valid that whether The person is afailure or was the strategy a failure?
okay.
Again, a little bit of an anecdote.
So the two times I said that I wastrying to become healthier and it
(09:43):
backfired, it didn't go well at all.
One time I was trying to go ona diet and just eat only salads.
And at one time I thought that I'mgoing to, be working out and went to
the gym and I was trying to work outfive days a week, nothing happened.
And then I gave up in both situations.
(10:06):
Okay.
And later I realized that, okay, I wasnot looking at the bigger picture here.
It has a combination of multiple factorsthat become my health, that become,
a good practice of, getting better.
(10:28):
So if we are to start today,or if for someone who wants to
start today, what would you saywould be the realistic goals?
Kristen (10:39):
Realistic goals.
Okay.
there's two things that come to mind.
One is granular and the other one ismore philosophical, which is, so I've
seen this again and again, people,they start a diet and the exercise
program, and then they look in themirror and nothing has changed.
(11:03):
So ding, ding, Failure didn't work.
so the thing about it is thatit, nothing's going to look like
it's changed for quite a while.
It takes two or three months beforethings even begin to look different,
(11:24):
if you've managed to be consistent.
Okay.
So I have found this again andagain, people, they join the
gym, they work out like crazy.
After a week, they look inthe mirror, And nothing has
happened, so they don't bother.
They're like, what'sthe point of doing this,
Abhra (11:44):
right?
Kristen (11:47):
so at that point, it's an opportunity for me to go in there and
say, this is a lifestyle change, right?
it's a transition.
It's a long term, transition to eatingdifferently, and as you said, eating
(12:08):
differently and exercising differently,and thinking about those things
differently, as opposed to just havingsomebody tell you what to do, right?
that's not going to work.
So I have a, phrase here that I love.
It's, it says here, are you, is itan obedience to a new lifestyle?
(12:36):
That you're doing, or are youembracing it because It's going
to be good for you in your life.
So instead of followingalong, is this something deep
inside of you that you want?
And so you need to startthinking about that.
(12:59):
And once you do, the whole diet thinggoes out the window because that
relies on willpower and motivationand all those things they talk about
all the time in the media and thatjust are never going to get you there.
(13:20):
and in terms of thefailure, I would say that,
self compassion
is really a motivator.
It's not motivation per se.
It's not, I'm going to do this.
if your motivation is to do thething that's right for you, And
(13:43):
to forgive yourself when you screwup, and to have self compassion
about that, now we're talking.
that, in a nutshell, is what I wouldtell people who are starting out,
don't go there again.
Don't go there, thatplace where, it's a diet.
(14:08):
Or, I remember our conversationpreviously, you said
you didn't like advice.
Thanks.
and I totally agree with it, likepeople trying to follow advice,
advice does not touch your innerconflicts about what they're saying,
(14:30):
doesn't go anywhere near those things.
and everybody has those.
You can't just read somethingand go, okay, I'll do that.
It, people, we're human,we do not operate that way.
So advice, okay, maybe it helps you startthinking about things in a certain way,
(14:52):
but in general, it totally leaves out whoyou are, and who all of us humans are.
it's just, has very limitedvalue, let's put it that way.
Abhra (15:09):
Absolutely.
And thank you for sharing that.
I believe, by the time this video,will go live, it'll be closer to the
new year and a lot of people willbe setting up their goals and just
new year resolutions and things.
Now, what you said, it just makesperfect sense as to where does it start?
(15:36):
Is it just some numbers?
Is it just someone's advice or isit something that comes from within?
So I can totally relateto what you are saying.
One of the things I noticed whenI started consciously making
a change, okay, that I We aresurrounded by so much unhealthy food.
(16:03):
go to the supermarket and thenI just see, Oh, this is sugar.
This is sugar.
This is sugar.
And then
before that, I didn'tthink about this way.
I just, I would go to the supermarketand get what I want to eat.
But when this calling kind of camefrom inside, I started becoming
(16:26):
mindful about what I take on myplate, what I am going to shop for.
And then I realized that we are,surrounded by so much unhealthy food.
And then there is so much of marketingand there is so much of commercialization
around the whole thing of, weight loss.
(16:49):
And then there are all these badfoods and things, and we fall
into the trap of emotional eating.
And as an adult,
As a coach here, can I ask you todebunk some of the myths that are
surrounding us that are holding us back?
(17:10):
And I think I read this somewhere that,we are, constantly attracted by all
this marketing and packaging, and thenwe get drawn towards this, but without
realizing what we are doing to our body.
Kristen (17:26):
that's right.
I like to.
Get people on the warpath againstprocessed foods and all those things in
the bright packages and, it's not easy.
we.
(17:46):
Because, okay, this, we are recordingthis before the holidays, but I'm
mindful of the kind of eating we doin social situations, and it may be
that the people we hang out with.
Are consuming all those things, and it'sfun, whatever you go out and you have
(18:06):
pizza and beer and chips and it'll stillbe still football season and what do
you see on TV is, you're, it's almostlike you're supposed to be sitting
there with your pizza and your crackcrackers and stuff, and It seems normal,
(18:27):
but those kinds of things, when youlearn a little bit about what goes on
in your body when you eat those things,
not anything good.
so if you're eating processed foods madeout of emulsifiers and, altered proteins
(18:49):
and this and that, it's, your gut doesnot recognize those things as food.
And It creates bacteria in there that,they, it tries to deal with it, but those
bacteria don't send the right messagesto the rest of your body about your
(19:13):
metabolism, how you're going to metabolizethem, how your metabolism is going to
go and how your brain fog is going to beand, how your appetite is going to be.
All those things get thrown off.
by those kinds of foods.
And so you could think about it interms of, people don't like to think
(19:34):
about this, very much, but what areyou putting in into your gut that is it
going to what's in there or is it not?
And I'm going to tell you that Webasically know what it likes, which
is whole foods, fruits and vegetables,whole grains, legumes, beans.
(19:56):
it recognizes those things as foods,creates the right bacteria, which
brings down inflammation in yourbody, helps you fight disease.
helps you with your metabolism andall the signaling that goes on and it
just puts you in a much better place.
(20:19):
I would say that across the board,take a good look at all these packages.
And try not to go there.
Don't try the best you can to eatwhole foods, fresh foods, things
that don't come in a package, that'sjust a blanket rule that is going
(20:43):
to really be useful to people.
So, there's that in there.
Like I said, there's the otherthing about becoming aware that
your gut does not like these things.
And your gut is reallythe boss of your body.
Aside from the brain, of course.
Abhra (21:06):
Can you tell us a little bit more about what inflammation
is and what it, how it can harmus, our body from the inside?
Kristen (21:17):
Okay.
So inflammation,
comes to us on a cellular level.
So if we're not eating the rightfoods, what gets circulated in
our bodies is not the right stuff.
And our cells, when they'retrying to make energy out of.
those things, they get thrownoff and they become inflamed.
(21:43):
They become dysfunctional, ifyou will, partly dysfunctional.
So it isn't just a few things.
It's not that your gut hurts or whatever.
It's your entire body is thrown off.
And It's thrown off byexcessive fat stores, as well.
(22:03):
Excessive fat also createssystemic inflammation.
if you think about it, at yourlittle cells down there, something
comes along, a virus, Bacteria,that cell is not going to be able to
respond as well to fight that off.
(22:26):
Okay.
And that includes thingslike cancer, right?
So that's basically it.
Try and make it simple.
Yes.
Abhra (22:38):
No, thank you for explaining that because I think this is one of the very
key factors that often go unnoticed.
That's why I requested you toexplain that a little bit more.
When I started this podcast and Ihad, another health coach appearing,
(23:02):
on my show as a guest and, everybodyloved that episode again, because
she coined a beautiful termsaid, our relationship with food.
And it's like how we have arelationship, say, with money,
say, with, something else we like.
Similarly, we have arelationship with food.
(23:25):
And if we are mindful about that, thenthat is where, things start changing.
After that episode, I've just, I'vegotten some, questions and comments from
people that our metabolism is slightlydifferent, or I am on some medication
because of which I cannot lose weight.
(23:47):
I'm trying, but I cannot.
and then this is, something Ihave noticed, for my wife as well.
just to explain a littlebit, like she was on.
Some antidepressants which createslike, which pumps up the heart
(24:09):
rate and then that makes you morehungry and you consume more food and
to tackle depression, you are addadding onto something else you are.
how do you suggest, someone who is in.
similar kind of a situation.
(24:29):
okay, I know what I want to eat, butbecause of my metabolism or because
of my medication, not able to good,not able to set the right goals
or not able to do the right thing.
So how would that personlook at, becoming healthy.
Kristen (24:49):
Okay.
I would say that,
you may have to changeyour expectations a bit.
because you are taking that,it is affecting your body.
You're, but you can still do, youcan still make the same lifestyle
changes because they're goingto make you healthier anyway.
(25:14):
And that's really worth doing.
you may lose some weight in the meantime.
you may not, but at least you willhave done some lifestyle change
where you're ending up on theother side with some really good
new relationship with food, right?
(25:35):
New habits, if you will,behaviors is more like it.
I like, anyway, that's a different topic.
so there's that.
And the other thing isthat once you lose weight.
Okay, even without medications orwithout complications or whatever,
(25:59):
you have to eat less to maintain thanyou think you're going to have to.
You're going to have to eat less ingeneral because they show that your
metabolism does slow down maybe 20%.
When you've lost some weight andyou can't therefore go back to
(26:21):
eating the amounts that you wereand expect to maintain your weight.
Okay.
It's an unfortunate thing.
It seems like punishment on top of allthat effort that you've put in but that's.
The truth, okay?
so two of those things.
And there are other things, geneticsthat they discovered, they're discovering
(26:46):
more and more genes, that affects,we're talking about gut again, that
affect your gut, in that there's onein particular, they call it the fat
gene, where your gut uses more calories.
in the food that you giveit than somebody else does.
(27:07):
there's fiber and there's things,you're, you obviously don't digest every
single little thing that you eat, butif you have that one gene, your body
can take more calories out of whatyou're eating and lay down more fat.
And that's just, highlyunfortunate for that person.
(27:28):
But, it again,
the, if the expectations are a bitlower, you may not know you have that.
Of course, it may be difficultto find somebody who is
going to test that for you.
I'm probably insurancedoesn't pay for that.
But, Again, the lifestyle change tohealth and also they keep showing
(27:54):
again and again if you lose 5 percentjust 5 percent of your body weight, it
contributes greatly to better health.
again, lowering expectations a bitand being proud of yourself, right?
not taking that as a failure.
Be proud of yourself that you've done thatand you figured out how to maintain it.
(28:18):
And that's huge.
That's a, that's really is.
It's a big accomplishment.
Abhra (28:23):
Thank you.
I'll go back to somethingwe have already discussed.
So about setting goals.
So as a, coach, would yousuggest that someone goes,
to set like realistic goals, theygo by numbers or they outline a
(28:45):
strategy and then they follow itinstead of worrying, for the numbers.
What works best in your view?
Kristen (28:56):
I'm a little biased towards strategy, you might say,
but I know there are some peoplewho respond well to numbers.
They're the ones who like to wear thewatches or the heart monitors, tracking
their sleep, getting, Fitbit and puttingin, logging all the stuff that they eat.
(29:16):
And that works for some people, a lotof people get tired of it and they
fall off and then everything goes away.
So that's another reason why Iprefer strategies, not numbers.
Strategies speak to skill building,problem solving, long term
(29:40):
commitment, long term planning.
So that, that's a wholedifferent space to be in.
So that's.
That's where I'm coming from.
Abhra (29:55):
Now, I can totally relate to this because I know that there are
a lot of recommendations saying,Oh, you have to measure this.
You have to see what you're eating.
You have to see what you're burning.
But that process itself,it can stress someone out.
it definitely will stress someone likeme out that, Oh, if I have to eat that,
(30:17):
okay, I'm having one cup or two cup.
But if I go with the general idea that,okay, this is what I am, trying to change.
And I'll give a very, interesting example.
And,
I grew up with rice.
Like rice as a staple food.
And that's, how, that's a veryIndian thing to do, like to have
(30:42):
rice, in lunch as well as in dinner.
There are different variants of rice thatcan be had as a breakfast item as well.
Okay?
So for the longest time I wasused to, having rice and not.
It didn't create any problem, butthe moment the lifestyle became more
sedentary, then I realized that I wasnot burning out all that pure energy.
(31:07):
And then I was accumulating fat.
Then at some stage, I had to do alittle bit of calculation that, okay,
this is what I'm eating, but this,I'm not burning this amount out.
So to lose weight, I have to burn thatout before I, maintain my portion.
(31:28):
So that is, only, one stage I was mindfulabout the calculations and things,
but, and it has helped me greatly.
It has, helped me, as you said, Ithink, 5 percent of the body weight.
And so I was like, I had a few surgerieslast year and because of that, I
(31:51):
couldn't, work out or walk and I becamevery, and put on a lot of extra weight.
And then gradually when I started beingfocused about like everything, and I
started seeing, that making a difference.
So I can totally understand when yousaid that, when should we go by numbers
(32:12):
or when should we go by strategy?
And I think it works differentlyfor different people.
I'm not, yeah.
so I see a lot of places peoplesay that, avoid your cops
and things like that, but no.
Look at the holistic health and seewhat you're burning and then you see
what you're putting In your body.
Kristen (32:36):
I will say that many diet plans or Doctors or nutritionists will have
you sit down and make a log of whatyou're eating in the beginning maybe for
a week or five days just like you said,to bring awareness to what's going on.
(32:58):
Cause people, research has shownthat people really underestimate
what they eat and they overestimatehow much they exercise.
So you get people to put it down,it's a pain, I've got to do that for
several days and really be honest.
(33:19):
but sometimes you can really find out alot about what you've been doing, where
the kind of bleeding is, if you will.
Oh, I have these snacks inthe afternoon I hadn't really
thought about that kind of thing.
So it is useful, I think,especially in the beginning.
I like to use it sometimes,depending on the person Yes.
Abhra (33:43):
And I want to bring up something, interesting and funny as well, in a
way that I went to see my dietitian,earlier this year, and I said that,
what sort of snack should I be eating?
What should I be snacking on?
And things like that.
(34:03):
What if I'm hungry, at midnight?
And then she asked me a veryinteresting question that Why would
you be hungry in the midnight?
So does your body actually need that?
And have you, then it, have you noteaten a proper meal that evening?
(34:25):
You have to ask these questions yourself.
And I think that made abig difference to me that.
I could completely cut down theunhealthy snacking that I was, used to.
And as an expert, I want to ask you this,that where does this come from that,
(34:48):
we do not need the food per se for ourbody, but we are drawn towards this.
What is the, psychology behind it?
And is there a way to stop it?
Kristen (35:01):
Oh boy.
that's a real hard one.
It really is.
And that frustrates a lot of people.
the group that I'm with has doneresearch on that and it says
emotional eating is number one interms of frustration with people.
the second one is lack of planning,but, so back to emotions and craving.
(35:25):
So it's clearly not just, amI hungry or am I not hungry?
We have learned how to eat fromday one in our lives, right?
There's so many things we've learned fromour parents, our family, our culture,
and the media and all those places.
Now we have all that, coming in atus and it's so easy to just go, I'm,
(35:51):
I just need a Snickers right now.
to fall into what the, I've seen the adfor Snickers, which says, Oh, I'm feeling
terrible, I've got to, and then theyeat the Snickers and everything's great.
so
those, let's see, wherewas I going with this?
(36:13):
It's,
So the emotional eatingis yours to own, right?
Nobody, unfortunately can tell youwhere that's coming from for you,
but I can guarantee you that everyperson has something like that.
Like more, may hit some morethan others, but everybody has
(36:39):
an emotional response to food.
And when the going gets tough and thestress comes on, your metabolism shifts.
Your, hormones are shifting.
They're telling you're hungry.
You're really not.
(36:59):
at that point, I always, I tellpeople, okay, try a glass of water.
A lot of this advice, actually,that you see out there is have some
fruit cut up at the ready, somecarrots at the ready, something you
can munch on that isn't a Snickers,
(37:23):
the other thing,
Don't get on your case about that, it'sso human, that's just what happens, our
brains are like that, being a human islike that, our emotions are like that,
our metabolisms are like that, and,it is something we have to deal with.
(37:45):
Clearly, but we all have it.
It's not a failure.
Yes.
Abhra (37:54):
No, it's definitely not.
I'm not calling it a failure.
I'm saying that something Ididn't realize it was part of.
The wellness journey, and this wasone of the strategies that, okay,
am I eating properly in a meal asopposed to I'm habitually snacking?
And then again, when I'm snacking,most of the most, more often than not,
(38:18):
we are falling on choices that aremarketed and things like that, but that
are not necessarily good for the body.
Good for the gut.
Kristen (38:29):
I've worked with other organizations that track.
How long it takes to get rid of cravings.
Let's say you shift over to wholefoods and vegetables, fruits,
and three bits of protein a day.
So it's spaced out during the day.
(38:49):
And you're really watchingyour meal timing and all that.
it takes a couple of months.
for cravings to start to go down.
So during that time, you just,that's where, willpower comes in.
Like you, if you really want that life'schanging switch, It is going to have
(39:17):
to be something that you watch outfor first couple of months, at least.
Abhra (39:25):
I'll have one more question for you on, again, on the eating side of things.
Like we are generally told that,okay, if you make a juice of this,
if you make a smoothie of this, and,make a paste of this easy to put all
the nutrients and you can have it.
But I have also read that ifyou, Don't munch your food.
(39:46):
Don't chew your food.
It doesn't send a signal to yourbrain and that doesn't, trigger
the whole process of digestion.
And it is better to have the foodwhole as opposed to get them.
juiced and, or, made into a pasteand things like that, where you're
(40:07):
just feeling your stomach, but you'renot signaling your brain that you're
eating something and you shouldget that, your body should get the
nutrition out of what you're eating.
What do you suggest on that?
Or what is scientific on that?
Kristen (40:25):
I've heard that also.
I think it's, partly true, butI also think, you can still get
plenty of nutrition from smoothiesand juices and things like that.
the danger comes in when you aredrinking sugary drinks, that's a big no.
(40:47):
but the, I, the idea is, really,you're right to have food that you're
chewing, that you're enjoying theexperience of as opposed to just, glug,
but it's a mixed bag.
I wouldn't say it's one or the other.
you can still get plenty of thingsout of a really good smoothie and,
(41:12):
sometimes you see some pretty goodrecipes for that kind of thing.
You can stick in some flax and someprotein and all kinds of things.
and, feel pretty satisfied, because yourgut, again, your body has gotten the
protein and the carbs and, some fatsprobably, so that's different from if
(41:39):
you just drink a soda, for instance,which is, of course, really terrible.
So yeah, so it's some ofeach is what I would say.
I wouldn't say one thing you haveto do one thing or the other.
Tending towards things that you canchew, that you enjoy, that you can take
(42:02):
note of the experience a little more.
it's a little more of a slow process.
let's, it does let your brain know thatyou're eating because your saliva responds
differently and those kinds of things.
Abhra (42:20):
yes.
Wonderful.
And, can you tell theaudience about your books now?
Kristen (42:28):
You bet.
I've written three books, but the lasttwo are called The End of Try Again and
The End of Try Again Action Workbook.
I've kept them both really shortbecause, again, I don't want, I didn't
want to write an advice book, okay.
(42:51):
I wanted to write a strategy book.
it goes back to helping people figureout what their relationship is with food,
Where did it come from, what they cando to change it, what's blocking them,
and what are we looking for, actually?
(43:14):
We're not looking for no carbs.
We're looking for balanced meal.
And I always say Mediterranean dietbecause, and that's in there too.
There's a cheat sheet about aMediterranean diet and, things
to look for and how to do it.
and the grant, so it's a.
gradual shift over tothat style of eating.
(43:37):
It's not a diet.
It's a style of eating.
And then the action workbook, actuallybreaks it down week by week or every
two weeks, you're given somethingto work on that's small, right?
That starts you off on the change.
And so the change happens in a certainorder, but you are the one who decides.
(44:03):
what you're going to do withthat around that certain change.
for instance, the firstone is learn to eat slowly.
So you do that and you time it and youadd a minute and then you add two minutes
and then you add three and then You know,that helps you pay more attention to what
(44:28):
you're eating and how fast you're eating.
I know personally, side story here, Iknow that personally, I catch myself,
I'm still chewing, but I'm ready.
I'm reaching for the next bite already.
I haven't even swallowed that one.
So I think I'm probably not alone there.
So there's that, but then it moveson to Awareness of how much protein
(44:52):
you're getting and then how, whatsort of vegetables do you like that
you're apt to, substitute or, and sothere's a, you substitute, you, what
fruit do you like and are you willingto substitute for chips at lunch,
(45:12):
for instance, and that kind of thing.
So you're the one who decides that.
and then you practice that, andpractice it again, and then the next
time you add another piece to it.
And you just keep going like that, sothat, let's see, I think it's in 18 weeks.
Or, if it takes you two weeks toreally settle in with something,
(45:34):
fine, Then that takes longer, butthat, you're not going anywhere.
so anyway, that's the second bookreally lays it out and tells you how.
To make the switch over and leaves thechoices to you as an individual, because
you're the only one who can decide what'sgoing to work and what isn't for you.
(45:59):
And if something doesn't work, youcan try something else, like that.
So that's, that was the purposethere, with those two books.
And, now I'm offeringsome coaching to go along.
I'm thinking, people who have donethe books, or while they are doing
(46:19):
the books, may want some questionanswered or some extra help or, like
you said, wait a minute, I've gotthis timongous craving for chocolate.
What am I supposed to do?
that kind of thing.
So
Abhra (46:37):
no, thank you for explaining that.
And I will of course get the booklinks from you and I will put
them in the episode description.
So anyone listening to the conversation,they can, Get the books, they can follow
the routine that, you have outlinedand, you mentioned about coaching.
(47:01):
if someone wants to work with you, howthey, how do they reach out to you?
Kristen (47:07):
Okay.
I have a website, it'scalled design for fitness.
it's all one word design for fitnessand on there it explains about I have
three different types of coaching, andexplains that you can also reach out to
me for a phone call, free phone call, beglad to talk to you about your concerns
(47:29):
or questions or anything like that.
And so that's on there as well.
easy to find and get in touch.
Abhra (47:39):
Wonderful.
And I know we have talked abouta lot of things, but, to wrap up
today's discussion, would you like tosummarize anything, for the audience?
Kristen (47:54):
Yes.
I would say that one phrase I had was,are you obediently following something
or are you embracing something?
Because if you're embracing something,
then You can keep going ifyou're just following along.
(48:19):
you're going to resist, you're goingto rebel, and you're going to quit.
So the idea is keep it small, keep thechanges small, but keep moving forward.
Abhra (48:34):
Thank you so much for sharing, such important thoughts and
insights into the wellness journey.
And in the fail with me series has beenmy, sincere attempt to bring in like
authentic stories there and, tell peoplethat it is okay to fail sometimes, but we
(48:59):
can always be mindful about where we fail.
And we can find a strategythat would work for us.
So it was, your voice was abeautiful addition to the series.
thank you once again for taking the timeto talk to stories and stanza today and
anyone, following this, interview, pleaseread her books, there'll be an episode
(49:25):
description and I'll put your websiteas well if they want to work with you.
Thank you once again.
Kristen (49:32):
Great.
Thank you.
.Abhra: It is okay to fail, to normalize failure.
And it is in our failures thatwe learn and we really grow.
Diets invariably fail.
We know the statistics on that.
It's probably 98 percent of the time.
and once that happens, does the person askthemselves, Was it the diet that failed?
(00:32):
Because they like to place blame.
Did I fail?
Or was it the strategy that failed?
in the work that I do, I try to go, Igo with, it's the strategy that failed.
You are not a failure.
One of my jobs is to help peopleidentify, feelings of being a failure.
(00:58):
And then move on from there, It's okay.
that's how we learn.
You're the only one who can decide what'sgoing to work and what isn't for you.
Are you obediently following somethingor are you embracing something?
(01:18):
Because if you're embracing something,
then you can keep going.
If you're just following along,you're going to resist, you're going
to rebel, and you're going to quit.
Life flows like anendless ocean of stories.
(01:39):
We often miss these precious tales.
As we rush through our days, toconsume by daily struggles, to
notice the poetry swirling around us.
Yet within these stories lie the keysto our past, sparks for our creativity,
and fresh winds to fill our sails.
(02:00):
I'm Abhra, a writer based inMelbourne, in quest of those stories
with diverse voices that tell themfrom every corner of the world.
Welcome to Stories and Stanza.
Hi Kristen.
Welcome to Stories and Stanza.
How are you doing today?
Kristen (02:17):
I'm doing great.
Thank you.
Abhra (02:19):
I'm looking glad to be here.
I'm looking forward to have you, on myshow and it's called Stories and Stanza
because it is, my love for poetry andit's a place for, inspiring stories
and real life stories, et cetera.
And we will be talking in a sectioncalled fail with me, which is, what
(02:44):
I told you about that it is, itreflects a journey of my life where
I found things to be very difficult.
And then when I started, turning thingsaround, I decided to open up about my
challenges and instead of sounding verypreachy, I wanted to give the idea you.
(03:06):
that it is okay to fail,to normalize failure.
And it is in our failures thatwe learn and we really grow.
So that is just a little bit of contextfor what, this particular series is about.
And for our audience, couldyou briefly introduce yourself?
Kristen (03:29):
Sure.
I'm Christian Carter.
excuse me, I'm an exercisephysiologist, which means I studied
the human body's response to exerciseand what works and what doesn't.
And that includes nutritionand metabolism and aging.
And, neurology, all those things.
(03:53):
So I have done that and gotten aton of certifications as well, in
coaching nutrition, in being a healthcoach, lifestyle coach, golf fitness
coach, and, and things like that.
And I've worked, because of my degreeand my certifications, I've had a chance
(04:16):
to work with people in all kinds ofsettings and, trying to do all kinds
of things to lose weight and exercise.
so I've been part of weightloss groups, leading weight
loss groups and exercise groups.
And so I've been doing this for 30 years.
(04:38):
And at the end, I have written a coupleof books I can talk about later, but,
the point is I've heard a lot of failuresand a lot of frustration over the years.
And, I actually wrote these booksto help people with, that concept
(04:59):
of failure, to not let it stopyou to take a look at it instead.
And there are so manyupsides to doing that.
So anyway, that's the kind oflong story there of who I am.
Abhra (05:14):
Wonderful.
And I'll start with a little bit of mypersonal journey that in this health
space, I tried losing weight twice.
And it didn't work, and I had noidea what I was doing wrong, okay?
And I think we are surroundedby so much of misinformation,
(05:38):
biases, and things like that.
It is very important to understandwhat works for our body.
And, which is why I am really thankful.
To,
hearing your experience and it is notjust theoretical knowledge and you have
(05:59):
been practicing this for a long time.
So I'm really looking forward to hearingfrom you that what are our challenges
and how we can make a difference andof course know, about your books.
Okay, so yeah, so in this space, Idefinitely have failed and I have
(06:21):
learned to be better, with time.
thank you, once againfor joining us today.
let us, start with understanding someof the challenges according to you,
what you have seen in your experience,what is holding us back, into this
(06:43):
fitness and wellness, journey?
Kristen (06:47):
Okay, I'll start with, your own experience with, trying to lose
weight and dieting and so many otherpeople that I've seen trying to do that.
often the question is,so diets invariably fail.
We know the statistics on that isprobably 98 percent of the time.
(07:12):
and once that happens, does the person askthemselves, Was it the diet that failed?
Because they like to place blame.
Did I fail?
Or was it the strategy that failed?
in the work that I do, I try to go, Igo with, it's the strategy that failed.
(07:38):
You are not a failure.
Everybody screws up.
Particularly with dieting.
it's no good trying to blame the diet,because you blame the diet, then you
think, you're just going to try anotherone, because that one didn't work.
And then you'll see if that oneworks, and that doesn't work either.
(08:01):
And I would also say, in terms of failure,that you may be trying another diet
already knowing That you have failedbefore, and so you're already starting
behind the eight ball with that concept.
Okay, so you're just going to trysomething else that failed before
(08:25):
and that is a challenge.
And now I would say with the coachingthat I do, one of the challenges
is getting people to think aboutif, how they feel about that.
Do they have, do they identifywith being a failure or do they.
(08:46):
don't think about it, eventhough it's always there.
There's that sort of background.
I'm no good at this feeling and somepeople are better at identity, excuse
me, identifying that than others.
So one of my jobs is to help peopleidentify, feelings of being a
(09:08):
failure and then move on from there.
It's okay.
that's how we learn and we cantalk about that later, I think.
Abhra (09:20):
Absolutely.
So if I were to say start from thebeginning, so what you said very
valid that whether The person is afailure or was the strategy a failure?
okay.
Again, a little bit of an anecdote.
So the two times I said that I wastrying to become healthier and it
(09:43):
backfired, it didn't go well at all.
One time I was trying to go ona diet and just eat only salads.
And at one time I thought that I'mgoing to, be working out and went to
the gym and I was trying to work outfive days a week, nothing happened.
And then I gave up in both situations.
(10:06):
Okay.
And later I realized that, okay, I wasnot looking at the bigger picture here.
It has a combination of multiple factorsthat become my health, that become,
a good practice of, getting better.
(10:28):
So if we are to start today,or if for someone who wants to
start today, what would you saywould be the realistic goals?
Kristen (10:39):
Realistic goals.
Okay.
there's two things that come to mind.
One is granular and the other one ismore philosophical, which is, so I've
seen this again and again, people,they start a diet and the exercise
program, and then they look in themirror and nothing has changed.
(11:03):
So ding, ding, Failure didn't work.
so the thing about it is thatit, nothing's going to look like
it's changed for quite a while.
It takes two or three months beforethings even begin to look different,
(11:24):
if you've managed to be consistent.
Okay.
So I have found this again andagain, people, they join the
gym, they work out like crazy.
After a week, they look inthe mirror, And nothing has
happened, so they don't bother.
They're like, what'sthe point of doing this,
Abhra (11:44):
right?
Kristen (11:47):
so at that point, it's an opportunity for me to go in there and
say, this is a lifestyle change, right?
it's a transition.
It's a long term, transition to eatingdifferently, and as you said, eating
(12:08):
differently and exercising differently,and thinking about those things
differently, as opposed to just havingsomebody tell you what to do, right?
that's not going to work.
So I have a, phrase here that I love.
It's, it says here, are you, is itan obedience to a new lifestyle?
(12:36):
That you're doing, or are youembracing it because It's going
to be good for you in your life.
So instead of followingalong, is this something deep
inside of you that you want?
And so you need to startthinking about that.
(12:59):
And once you do, the whole diet thinggoes out the window because that
relies on willpower and motivationand all those things they talk about
all the time in the media and thatjust are never going to get you there.
(13:20):
and in terms of thefailure, I would say that,
self compassion
is really a motivator.
It's not motivation per se.
It's not, I'm going to do this.
if your motivation is to do thething that's right for you, And
(13:43):
to forgive yourself when you screwup, and to have self compassion
about that, now we're talking.
that, in a nutshell, is what I wouldtell people who are starting out,
don't go there again.
Don't go there, thatplace where, it's a diet.
(14:08):
Or, I remember our conversationpreviously, you said
you didn't like advice.
Thanks.
and I totally agree with it, likepeople trying to follow advice,
advice does not touch your innerconflicts about what they're saying,
(14:30):
doesn't go anywhere near those things.
and everybody has those.
You can't just read somethingand go, okay, I'll do that.
It, people, we're human,we do not operate that way.
So advice, okay, maybe it helps you startthinking about things in a certain way,
(14:52):
but in general, it totally leaves out whoyou are, and who all of us humans are.
it's just, has very limitedvalue, let's put it that way.
Abhra (15:09):
Absolutely.
And thank you for sharing that.
I believe, by the time this video,will go live, it'll be closer to the
new year and a lot of people willbe setting up their goals and just
new year resolutions and things.
Now, what you said, it just makesperfect sense as to where does it start?
(15:36):
Is it just some numbers?
Is it just someone's advice or isit something that comes from within?
So I can totally relateto what you are saying.
One of the things I noticed whenI started consciously making
a change, okay, that I We aresurrounded by so much unhealthy food.
(16:03):
go to the supermarket and thenI just see, Oh, this is sugar.
This is sugar.
This is sugar.
And then
before that, I didn'tthink about this way.
I just, I would go to the supermarketand get what I want to eat.
But when this calling kind of camefrom inside, I started becoming
(16:26):
mindful about what I take on myplate, what I am going to shop for.
And then I realized that we are,surrounded by so much unhealthy food.
And then there is so much of marketingand there is so much of commercialization
around the whole thing of, weight loss.
(16:49):
And then there are all these badfoods and things, and we fall
into the trap of emotional eating.
And as an adult,
As a coach here, can I ask you todebunk some of the myths that are
surrounding us that are holding us back?
(17:10):
And I think I read this somewhere that,we are, constantly attracted by all
this marketing and packaging, and thenwe get drawn towards this, but without
realizing what we are doing to our body.
Kristen (17:26):
that's right.
I like to.
Get people on the warpath againstprocessed foods and all those things in
the bright packages and, it's not easy.
we.
(17:46):
Because, okay, this, we are recordingthis before the holidays, but I'm
mindful of the kind of eating we doin social situations, and it may be
that the people we hang out with.
Are consuming all those things, and it'sfun, whatever you go out and you have
(18:06):
pizza and beer and chips and it'll stillbe still football season and what do
you see on TV is, you're, it's almostlike you're supposed to be sitting
there with your pizza and your crackcrackers and stuff, and It seems normal,
(18:27):
but those kinds of things, when youlearn a little bit about what goes on
in your body when you eat those things,
not anything good.
so if you're eating processed foods madeout of emulsifiers and, altered proteins
(18:49):
and this and that, it's, your gut doesnot recognize those things as food.
And It creates bacteria in there that,they, it tries to deal with it, but those
bacteria don't send the right messagesto the rest of your body about your
(19:13):
metabolism, how you're going to metabolizethem, how your metabolism is going to
go and how your brain fog is going to beand, how your appetite is going to be.
All those things get thrown off.
by those kinds of foods.
And so you could think about it interms of, people don't like to think
(19:34):
about this, very much, but what areyou putting in into your gut that is it
going to what's in there or is it not?
And I'm going to tell you that Webasically know what it likes, which
is whole foods, fruits and vegetables,whole grains, legumes, beans.
(19:56):
it recognizes those things as foods,creates the right bacteria, which
brings down inflammation in yourbody, helps you fight disease.
helps you with your metabolism andall the signaling that goes on and it
just puts you in a much better place.
(20:19):
I would say that across the board,take a good look at all these packages.
And try not to go there.
Don't try the best you can to eatwhole foods, fresh foods, things
that don't come in a package, that'sjust a blanket rule that is going
(20:43):
to really be useful to people.
So, there's that in there.
Like I said, there's the otherthing about becoming aware that
your gut does not like these things.
And your gut is reallythe boss of your body.
Aside from the brain, of course.
Abhra (21:06):
Can you tell us a little bit more about what inflammation
is and what it, how it can harmus, our body from the inside?
Kristen (21:17):
Okay.
So inflammation,
comes to us on a cellular level.
So if we're not eating the rightfoods, what gets circulated in
our bodies is not the right stuff.
And our cells, when they'retrying to make energy out of.
those things, they get thrownoff and they become inflamed.
(21:43):
They become dysfunctional, ifyou will, partly dysfunctional.
So it isn't just a few things.
It's not that your gut hurts or whatever.
It's your entire body is thrown off.
And It's thrown off byexcessive fat stores, as well.
(22:03):
Excessive fat also createssystemic inflammation.
if you think about it, at yourlittle cells down there, something
comes along, a virus, Bacteria,that cell is not going to be able to
respond as well to fight that off.
(22:26):
Okay.
And that includes thingslike cancer, right?
So that's basically it.
Try and make it simple.
Yes.
Abhra (22:38):
No, thank you for explaining that because I think this is one of the very
key factors that often go unnoticed.
That's why I requested you toexplain that a little bit more.
When I started this podcast and Ihad, another health coach appearing,
(23:02):
on my show as a guest and, everybodyloved that episode again, because
she coined a beautiful termsaid, our relationship with food.
And it's like how we have arelationship, say, with money,
say, with, something else we like.
Similarly, we have arelationship with food.
(23:25):
And if we are mindful about that, thenthat is where, things start changing.
After that episode, I've just, I'vegotten some, questions and comments from
people that our metabolism is slightlydifferent, or I am on some medication
because of which I cannot lose weight.
(23:47):
I'm trying, but I cannot.
and then this is, something Ihave noticed, for my wife as well.
just to explain a littlebit, like she was on.
Some antidepressants which createslike, which pumps up the heart
(24:09):
rate and then that makes you morehungry and you consume more food and
to tackle depression, you are addadding onto something else you are.
how do you suggest, someone who is in.
similar kind of a situation.
(24:29):
okay, I know what I want to eat, butbecause of my metabolism or because
of my medication, not able to good,not able to set the right goals
or not able to do the right thing.
So how would that personlook at, becoming healthy.
Kristen (24:49):
Okay.
I would say that,
you may have to changeyour expectations a bit.
because you are taking that,it is affecting your body.
You're, but you can still do, youcan still make the same lifestyle
changes because they're goingto make you healthier anyway.
(25:14):
And that's really worth doing.
you may lose some weight in the meantime.
you may not, but at least you willhave done some lifestyle change
where you're ending up on theother side with some really good
new relationship with food, right?
(25:35):
New habits, if you will,behaviors is more like it.
I like, anyway, that's a different topic.
so there's that.
And the other thing isthat once you lose weight.
Okay, even without medications orwithout complications or whatever,
(25:59):
you have to eat less to maintain thanyou think you're going to have to.
You're going to have to eat less ingeneral because they show that your
metabolism does slow down maybe 20%.
When you've lost some weight andyou can't therefore go back to
(26:21):
eating the amounts that you wereand expect to maintain your weight.
Okay.
It's an unfortunate thing.
It seems like punishment on top of allthat effort that you've put in but that's.
The truth, okay?
so two of those things.
And there are other things, geneticsthat they discovered, they're discovering
(26:46):
more and more genes, that affects,we're talking about gut again, that
affect your gut, in that there's onein particular, they call it the fat
gene, where your gut uses more calories.
in the food that you giveit than somebody else does.
(27:07):
there's fiber and there's things,you're, you obviously don't digest every
single little thing that you eat, butif you have that one gene, your body
can take more calories out of whatyou're eating and lay down more fat.
And that's just, highlyunfortunate for that person.
(27:28):
But, it again,
the, if the expectations are a bitlower, you may not know you have that.
Of course, it may be difficultto find somebody who is
going to test that for you.
I'm probably insurancedoesn't pay for that.
But, Again, the lifestyle change tohealth and also they keep showing
(27:54):
again and again if you lose 5 percentjust 5 percent of your body weight, it
contributes greatly to better health.
again, lowering expectations a bitand being proud of yourself, right?
not taking that as a failure.
Be proud of yourself that you've done thatand you figured out how to maintain it.
(28:18):
And that's huge.
That's a, that's really is.
It's a big accomplishment.
Abhra (28:23):
Thank you.
I'll go back to somethingwe have already discussed.
So about setting goals.
So as a, coach, would yousuggest that someone goes,
to set like realistic goals, theygo by numbers or they outline a
(28:45):
strategy and then they follow itinstead of worrying, for the numbers.
What works best in your view?
Kristen (28:56):
I'm a little biased towards strategy, you might say,
but I know there are some peoplewho respond well to numbers.
They're the ones who like to wear thewatches or the heart monitors, tracking
their sleep, getting, Fitbit and puttingin, logging all the stuff that they eat.
(29:16):
And that works for some people, a lotof people get tired of it and they
fall off and then everything goes away.
So that's another reason why Iprefer strategies, not numbers.
Strategies speak to skill building,problem solving, long term
(29:40):
commitment, long term planning.
So that, that's a wholedifferent space to be in.
So that's.
That's where I'm coming from.
Abhra (29:55):
Now, I can totally relate to this because I know that there are
a lot of recommendations saying,Oh, you have to measure this.
You have to see what you're eating.
You have to see what you're burning.
But that process itself,it can stress someone out.
it definitely will stress someone likeme out that, Oh, if I have to eat that,
(30:17):
okay, I'm having one cup or two cup.
But if I go with the general idea that,okay, this is what I am, trying to change.
And I'll give a very, interesting example.
And,
I grew up with rice.
Like rice as a staple food.
And that's, how, that's a veryIndian thing to do, like to have
(30:42):
rice, in lunch as well as in dinner.
There are different variants of rice thatcan be had as a breakfast item as well.
Okay?
So for the longest time I wasused to, having rice and not.
It didn't create any problem, butthe moment the lifestyle became more
sedentary, then I realized that I wasnot burning out all that pure energy.
(31:07):
And then I was accumulating fat.
Then at some stage, I had to do alittle bit of calculation that, okay,
this is what I'm eating, but this,I'm not burning this amount out.
So to lose weight, I have to burn thatout before I, maintain my portion.
(31:28):
So that is, only, one stage I was mindfulabout the calculations and things,
but, and it has helped me greatly.
It has, helped me, as you said, Ithink, 5 percent of the body weight.
And so I was like, I had a few surgerieslast year and because of that, I
(31:51):
couldn't, work out or walk and I becamevery, and put on a lot of extra weight.
And then gradually when I started beingfocused about like everything, and I
started seeing, that making a difference.
So I can totally understand when yousaid that, when should we go by numbers
(32:12):
or when should we go by strategy?
And I think it works differentlyfor different people.
I'm not, yeah.
so I see a lot of places peoplesay that, avoid your cops
and things like that, but no.
Look at the holistic health and seewhat you're burning and then you see
what you're putting In your body.
Kristen (32:36):
I will say that many diet plans or Doctors or nutritionists will have
you sit down and make a log of whatyou're eating in the beginning maybe for
a week or five days just like you said,to bring awareness to what's going on.
(32:58):
Cause people, research has shownthat people really underestimate
what they eat and they overestimatehow much they exercise.
So you get people to put it down,it's a pain, I've got to do that for
several days and really be honest.
(33:19):
but sometimes you can really find out alot about what you've been doing, where
the kind of bleeding is, if you will.
Oh, I have these snacks inthe afternoon I hadn't really
thought about that kind of thing.
So it is useful, I think,especially in the beginning.
I like to use it sometimes,depending on the person Yes.
Abhra (33:43):
And I want to bring up something, interesting and funny as well, in a
way that I went to see my dietitian,earlier this year, and I said that,
what sort of snack should I be eating?
What should I be snacking on?
And things like that.
(34:03):
What if I'm hungry, at midnight?
And then she asked me a veryinteresting question that Why would
you be hungry in the midnight?
So does your body actually need that?
And have you, then it, have you noteaten a proper meal that evening?
(34:25):
You have to ask these questions yourself.
And I think that made abig difference to me that.
I could completely cut down theunhealthy snacking that I was, used to.
And as an expert, I want to ask you this,that where does this come from that,
(34:48):
we do not need the food per se for ourbody, but we are drawn towards this.
What is the, psychology behind it?
And is there a way to stop it?
Kristen (35:01):
Oh boy.
that's a real hard one.
It really is.
And that frustrates a lot of people.
the group that I'm with has doneresearch on that and it says
emotional eating is number one interms of frustration with people.
the second one is lack of planning,but, so back to emotions and craving.
(35:25):
So it's clearly not just, amI hungry or am I not hungry?
We have learned how to eat fromday one in our lives, right?
There's so many things we've learned fromour parents, our family, our culture,
and the media and all those places.
Now we have all that, coming in atus and it's so easy to just go, I'm,
(35:51):
I just need a Snickers right now.
to fall into what the, I've seen the adfor Snickers, which says, Oh, I'm feeling
terrible, I've got to, and then theyeat the Snickers and everything's great.
so
those, let's see, wherewas I going with this?
(36:13):
It's,
So the emotional eatingis yours to own, right?
Nobody, unfortunately can tell youwhere that's coming from for you,
but I can guarantee you that everyperson has something like that.
Like more, may hit some morethan others, but everybody has
(36:39):
an emotional response to food.
And when the going gets tough and thestress comes on, your metabolism shifts.
Your, hormones are shifting.
They're telling you're hungry.
You're really not.
(36:59):
at that point, I always, I tellpeople, okay, try a glass of water.
A lot of this advice, actually,that you see out there is have some
fruit cut up at the ready, somecarrots at the ready, something you
can munch on that isn't a Snickers,
(37:23):
the other thing,
Don't get on your case about that, it'sso human, that's just what happens, our
brains are like that, being a human islike that, our emotions are like that,
our metabolisms are like that, and,it is something we have to deal with.
(37:45):
Clearly, but we all have it.
It's not a failure.
Yes.
Abhra (37:54):
No, it's definitely not.
I'm not calling it a failure.
I'm saying that something Ididn't realize it was part of.
The wellness journey, and this wasone of the strategies that, okay,
am I eating properly in a meal asopposed to I'm habitually snacking?
And then again, when I'm snacking,most of the most, more often than not,
(38:18):
we are falling on choices that aremarketed and things like that, but that
are not necessarily good for the body.
Good for the gut.
Kristen (38:29):
I've worked with other organizations that track.
How long it takes to get rid of cravings.
Let's say you shift over to wholefoods and vegetables, fruits,
and three bits of protein a day.
So it's spaced out during the day.
(38:49):
And you're really watchingyour meal timing and all that.
it takes a couple of months.
for cravings to start to go down.
So during that time, you just,that's where, willpower comes in.
Like you, if you really want that life'schanging switch, It is going to have
(39:17):
to be something that you watch outfor first couple of months, at least.
Abhra (39:25):
I'll have one more question for you on, again, on the eating side of things.
Like we are generally told that,okay, if you make a juice of this,
if you make a smoothie of this, and,make a paste of this easy to put all
the nutrients and you can have it.
But I have also read that ifyou, Don't munch your food.
(39:46):
Don't chew your food.
It doesn't send a signal to yourbrain and that doesn't, trigger
the whole process of digestion.
And it is better to have the foodwhole as opposed to get them.
juiced and, or, made into a pasteand things like that, where you're
(40:07):
just feeling your stomach, but you'renot signaling your brain that you're
eating something and you shouldget that, your body should get the
nutrition out of what you're eating.
What do you suggest on that?
Or what is scientific on that?
Kristen (40:25):
I've heard that also.
I think it's, partly true, butI also think, you can still get
plenty of nutrition from smoothiesand juices and things like that.
the danger comes in when you aredrinking sugary drinks, that's a big no.
(40:47):
but the, I, the idea is, really,you're right to have food that you're
chewing, that you're enjoying theexperience of as opposed to just, glug,
but it's a mixed bag.
I wouldn't say it's one or the other.
you can still get plenty of thingsout of a really good smoothie and,
(41:12):
sometimes you see some pretty goodrecipes for that kind of thing.
You can stick in some flax and someprotein and all kinds of things.
and, feel pretty satisfied, because yourgut, again, your body has gotten the
protein and the carbs and, some fatsprobably, so that's different from if
(41:39):
you just drink a soda, for instance,which is, of course, really terrible.
So yeah, so it's some ofeach is what I would say.
I wouldn't say one thing you haveto do one thing or the other.
Tending towards things that you canchew, that you enjoy, that you can take
(42:02):
note of the experience a little more.
it's a little more of a slow process.
let's, it does let your brain know thatyou're eating because your saliva responds
differently and those kinds of things.
Abhra (42:20):
yes.
Wonderful.
And, can you tell theaudience about your books now?
Kristen (42:28):
You bet.
I've written three books, but the lasttwo are called The End of Try Again and
The End of Try Again Action Workbook.
I've kept them both really shortbecause, again, I don't want, I didn't
want to write an advice book, okay.
(42:51):
I wanted to write a strategy book.
it goes back to helping people figureout what their relationship is with food,
Where did it come from, what they cando to change it, what's blocking them,
and what are we looking for, actually?
(43:14):
We're not looking for no carbs.
We're looking for balanced meal.
And I always say Mediterranean dietbecause, and that's in there too.
There's a cheat sheet about aMediterranean diet and, things
to look for and how to do it.
and the grant, so it's a.
gradual shift over tothat style of eating.
(43:37):
It's not a diet.
It's a style of eating.
And then the action workbook, actuallybreaks it down week by week or every
two weeks, you're given somethingto work on that's small, right?
That starts you off on the change.
And so the change happens in a certainorder, but you are the one who decides.
(44:03):
what you're going to do withthat around that certain change.
for instance, the firstone is learn to eat slowly.
So you do that and you time it and youadd a minute and then you add two minutes
and then you add three and then You know,that helps you pay more attention to what
(44:28):
you're eating and how fast you're eating.
I know personally, side story here, Iknow that personally, I catch myself,
I'm still chewing, but I'm ready.
I'm reaching for the next bite already.
I haven't even swallowed that one.
So I think I'm probably not alone there.
So there's that, but then it moveson to Awareness of how much protein
(44:52):
you're getting and then how, whatsort of vegetables do you like that
you're apt to, substitute or, and sothere's a, you substitute, you, what
fruit do you like and are you willingto substitute for chips at lunch,
(45:12):
for instance, and that kind of thing.
So you're the one who decides that.
and then you practice that, andpractice it again, and then the next
time you add another piece to it.
And you just keep going like that, sothat, let's see, I think it's in 18 weeks.
Or, if it takes you two weeks toreally settle in with something,
(45:34):
fine, Then that takes longer, butthat, you're not going anywhere.
so anyway, that's the second bookreally lays it out and tells you how.
To make the switch over and leaves thechoices to you as an individual, because
you're the only one who can decide what'sgoing to work and what isn't for you.
(45:59):
And if something doesn't work, youcan try something else, like that.
So that's, that was the purposethere, with those two books.
And, now I'm offeringsome coaching to go along.
I'm thinking, people who have donethe books, or while they are doing
(46:19):
the books, may want some questionanswered or some extra help or, like
you said, wait a minute, I've gotthis timongous craving for chocolate.
What am I supposed to do?
that kind of thing.
So
Abhra (46:37):
no, thank you for explaining that.
And I will of course get the booklinks from you and I will put
them in the episode description.
So anyone listening to the conversation,they can, Get the books, they can follow
the routine that, you have outlinedand, you mentioned about coaching.
(47:01):
if someone wants to work with you, howthey, how do they reach out to you?
Kristen (47:07):
Okay.
I have a website, it'scalled design for fitness.
it's all one word design for fitnessand on there it explains about I have
three different types of coaching, andexplains that you can also reach out to
me for a phone call, free phone call, beglad to talk to you about your concerns
(47:29):
or questions or anything like that.
And so that's on there as well.
easy to find and get in touch.
Abhra (47:39):
Wonderful.
And I know we have talked abouta lot of things, but, to wrap up
today's discussion, would you like tosummarize anything, for the audience?
Kristen (47:54):
Yes.
I would say that one phrase I had was,are you obediently following something
or are you embracing something?
Because if you're embracing something,
then You can keep going ifyou're just following along.
(48:19):
you're going to resist, you're goingto rebel, and you're going to quit.
So the idea is keep it small, keep thechanges small, but keep moving forward.
Abhra (48:34):
Thank you so much for sharing, such important thoughts and
insights into the wellness journey.
And in the fail with me series has beenmy, sincere attempt to bring in like
authentic stories there and, tell peoplethat it is okay to fail sometimes, but we
(48:59):
can always be mindful about where we fail.
And we can find a strategythat would work for us.
So it was, your voice was abeautiful addition to the series.
thank you once again for taking the timeto talk to stories and stanza today and
anyone, following this, interview, pleaseread her books, there'll be an episode
(49:25):
description and I'll put your websiteas well if they want to work with you.
Thank you once again.
Kristen (49:32):
Great.
Thank you.
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