August 27, 2024 • 15 mins
Welcome to Straight TV. In this episode, we delve into the complexities of marriage. This is the first part of an extensive series focused on understanding and fortifying the bonds of matrimony. We explore why marriage has lost its value in today's society and how legal measures have evolved to protect its sanctity.
We discuss the importance of recognizing and addressing the cracks in a marriage before they lead to infidelity or separation. Learn how to navigate the challenges of blending different habits, cultures, and emotional characteristics, and understand why mutual effort and commitment are crucial for a thriving relationship.
Discover the pitfalls of one-sided compromises and the misconception that having children can mend a struggling marriage. Join us as we lay the groundwork for identifying potential issues and fostering a supportive, loving partnership. Tune in and begin the journey towards a stronger, more resilient marriage.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to Straight TV. In this episode, we have to talk about marriage.
And this is going to be part one of an extensive series of episodes when it
encapsulates marriage because we cannot talk about it in a couple of minutes.
Because marriage itself, it's a really complex life experience.
(00:24):
And it requires several points that we need to identify and really analyze and not just analyze,
also find a way to apply it in order to completely accept the benefits of marriage.
And people, and not just regular folks, but even the younger people now are
(00:49):
not getting married anymore.
Marriage to society has nearly no value anymore. But why?
Why has the marriage itself lost a lot of value in society in today's time?
Because matrimony slash marriage has been dragged through the mud.
(01:14):
It has for many, many, many years. many laws had to be passed also to protect
the individuals getting married because people were getting married.
Not by being sincere or because they really wanted to respect the sanctity of
(01:37):
marriage, but more to gain assets.
So people started getting married to benefit financially, socially, culturally.
And therefore, even the law had to intervene.
Even laws had to be passed in order to protect the individuals that they were
getting married. Because if they were not getting married sincerely,
(01:59):
there were laws in place to protect your assets.
See how marriage no longer was pure and innocent anymore in society?
If you want your marriage to
thrive, we need to go over some elements that will fortify your marriage.
If you want to get your spouse to completely join you in marriage,
(02:24):
so both of you can analyze what we are going to talk about.
So go reach and talk to your spouse right now and tell her to join you or tell
him to join you so we can talk about several things that both of us will benefit.
It's not to point fingers.
It's not to blame.
It's to work together. And some people find that so difficult.
(02:47):
Some people trying to work together now in marriage, it turns into an argument,
into conflict, into finger pointing, right?
No, no, no, no. That's one of the root causes that we need to talk about.
Many think that cheating in a marriage is the cause or that the marriage fell
(03:14):
apart because someone cheated.
So I'll say again, many think that cheating is the cause.
No, many times the cheating, it's the effect of something happened.
When cheating happens, when somebody is unfaithful,
it means the marriage fell apart way before the marriage was showing many cracks
(03:40):
already and it just fell apart through infidelity.
So, if a spouse finds their counterpart being unfaithful,
this happened way before the actual infidelity occurred.
A lot of cracks were already showing in the foundation.
(04:04):
How do we identify these cracks in that foundation before it completely falls apart? heart.
Sometimes we want to fix it when it's already falling apart,
when it's completely broken, when it's lost even its shape.
There's no more form to it.
It takes two to build a strong marriage, but it takes one to destroy it.
(04:30):
First, you need to understand that two worlds are colliding when we get married.
Yes, we have to understand the amazing journey that we are embarking on.
Two worlds are colliding into one.
(04:51):
We have to think about that. Even though we are compatible, it requires a deep
understanding on the journey we are embarking on.
Think about that. Even though we are compatible with our spouses,
there's still difficulties. It's really complex.
It requires a lot of work, and it requires an effort, even though we're compatible.
(05:17):
Now, imagine somebody who is not compatible.
Think about that. Because if we are compatible with each other,
we still grew up with different habits.
We grew up with different taste buds. We grew up with even some different cultures,
different emotional characteristics. Characteristics, yes.
(05:38):
Sometimes our spouse may be more, what should we say, maybe more or less emotional or forgiving.
Or let's say more, they are more seldom to hold a grudge.
So even though we have different, even emotional characteristics,
(06:01):
also that means that we are completely different to each other.
With different identities. We are not the same, right?
And some may say at this point, somebody could even say, whoa,
whoa, if that's marriage, I don't even want to try it.
Look at the work I have ahead. It's an uphill battle, right?
(06:25):
And they may feel discouraged to even pursue marriage, right?
But no, it is possible.
We could attain it. It is not impossible. It is possible. It requires an effort.
It requires a dedication.
It requires determination.
(06:47):
Well, through all this, throw all this in there, what we talked about.
Throw all this in there, the different habits, different taste buds,
different cultures, different emotional characteristics, different identities, throw it all in there.
That means that we have to mold it all into one.
(07:08):
My habits, my likes and dislikes, my characteristics, my strengths,
my weaknesses, one way or another, I have to mold it with my wife's.
And she has to mold hers into mine. Explain that to me.
See how we have to make it work? It takes two. It takes two,
(07:31):
not just one. Well, that's the first problem.
When I don't want to mold my life for the benefit of the marriage.
Rather, you mold your entire life to mine.
Some of us go into marriage thinking like that. Some of us are holding back.
(07:54):
Well, I'd rather be the one that I may say, yes, yes, I love you.
I'm going to make it work.
I'm going to. But I'd rather you mold your life to mine.
I'd rather you stop talking to these kind of people because I want you to mold to my life.
(08:16):
I am not going to stop talking to my friends. I am not going to stop doing this.
I am not going to stop doing that.
So somebody only wants to mold their life, but not the other one, right?
So that means that that person that doesn't want to mold his or her life completely,
he or she doesn't prioritize the marriage.
(08:40):
Or he or she doesn't prioritize their spouse.
Spouse, when one person is willing to mold their life to marriage with,
I'm going to say it again,
when only one person in a marriage wants to mold their life for the better of the marriage,
the marriage will only last five to 10 years. Five to 10 years.
(09:04):
When neither of the spouses want to mold their lives for the better of the marriage,
the marriage will only last a couple of years. Those are the statistics.
And also one thought.
Keep this in mind. And we've seen it all along. You've seen it.
(09:25):
A lot of the times when these marriages are literally on the brink of destruction,
I don't know why, they decide to have kids.
Yes, for some weird reason, they think by bringing kids into the picture,
it will solve their problems.
(09:46):
No, these marriages that are in the brink of destruction, when they end up having
kids, that's the catalyst for the marriage to completely fall apart.
And these kids grow up in separate homes.
That happens. I've seen it. I've seen it on my relatives and friends.
They're having a tumultuous life and marriage and they're not getting along.
(10:11):
They're both not on the same page.
They're constantly in discord for whatever reason.
They think that having kids is going to solve the problem and it's going to
make everything better. No, no.
Kids need to come to a house, to a marriage that are already on the same page.
(10:35):
That's when it works out. When they're both on the same page,
when they're both working on providing themselves a better life emotionally
and financially and so forth.
First it's emotional and then financial, not the other way around.
First, they need to, as a marriage, find that point that they are both in agreement
(10:59):
to emotionally grow, emotionally respect each other, emotionally love each other.
Emotionally prioritize each other sometimes our priorities are not set into our spouse,
sometimes we limit how much we want to mold ourselves to our spouse yes yes
(11:21):
i'll do this i'll do this i'll do that but not this not that not this and not
that that's when it doesn't work it has to be a complete commitment and and
even though it's been is it's been used so loosely around,
it is a commitment and it requires a complete commitment for it to work either for both.
(11:42):
They both need a commitment. They both need to understand that it's just you and me now.
Even though I have my parents and my relatives, at the end of the day, it's you and me.
And when When each other respects each other, there is no room for disagreements
(12:03):
when it comes to, we're going to go visit our relative.
Even though one of my relatives is kind of like, hey, it's kind of adamant to
receive my wife with open arms, etc.
When we encounter that, when we are going to a gathering, and there's been history
there with some of our relatives.
(12:26):
First is my wife, because she respects me. She hasn't respected me.
And at the same time, I am not going to let nobody to respect my wife,
because she is respecting me.
She's shown me loyalty, and she's faithful to my marriage, to my house, to my kids.
So, therefore, I need to also protect her, also provide for her the emotional
(12:51):
support that she requires and then also the financial support. It goes hand in hand.
So, we need to first, this is the first conversation we're going to have when
it comes to the really wide understanding of marriage.
And how to begin identifying the possibilities that could cause our marriage to fail.
(13:20):
If we recognize what we are not supposed to do, we will prosper in our marriage. See you guys later.
Welcome to Straight TV. In this episode, we have to talk about marriage.
And this is going to be part one of an extensive series of episodes when it
encapsulates marriage because we cannot talk about it in a couple of minutes.
Because marriage itself, it's a really complex life experience.
(00:24):
And it requires several points that we need to identify and really analyze and not just analyze,
also find a way to apply it in order to completely accept the benefits of marriage.
And people, and not just regular folks, but even the younger people now are
(00:49):
not getting married anymore.
Marriage to society has nearly no value anymore. But why?
Why has the marriage itself lost a lot of value in society in today's time?
Because matrimony slash marriage has been dragged through the mud.
(01:14):
It has for many, many, many years. many laws had to be passed also to protect
the individuals getting married because people were getting married.
Not by being sincere or because they really wanted to respect the sanctity of
(01:37):
marriage, but more to gain assets.
So people started getting married to benefit financially, socially, culturally.
And therefore, even the law had to intervene.
Even laws had to be passed in order to protect the individuals that they were
getting married. Because if they were not getting married sincerely,
(01:59):
there were laws in place to protect your assets.
See how marriage no longer was pure and innocent anymore in society?
If you want your marriage to
thrive, we need to go over some elements that will fortify your marriage.
If you want to get your spouse to completely join you in marriage,
(02:24):
so both of you can analyze what we are going to talk about.
So go reach and talk to your spouse right now and tell her to join you or tell
him to join you so we can talk about several things that both of us will benefit.
It's not to point fingers.
It's not to blame.
It's to work together. And some people find that so difficult.
(02:47):
Some people trying to work together now in marriage, it turns into an argument,
into conflict, into finger pointing, right?
No, no, no, no. That's one of the root causes that we need to talk about.
Many think that cheating in a marriage is the cause or that the marriage fell
(03:14):
apart because someone cheated.
So I'll say again, many think that cheating is the cause.
No, many times the cheating, it's the effect of something happened.
When cheating happens, when somebody is unfaithful,
it means the marriage fell apart way before the marriage was showing many cracks
(03:40):
already and it just fell apart through infidelity.
So, if a spouse finds their counterpart being unfaithful,
this happened way before the actual infidelity occurred.
A lot of cracks were already showing in the foundation.
(04:04):
How do we identify these cracks in that foundation before it completely falls apart? heart.
Sometimes we want to fix it when it's already falling apart,
when it's completely broken, when it's lost even its shape.
There's no more form to it.
It takes two to build a strong marriage, but it takes one to destroy it.
(04:30):
First, you need to understand that two worlds are colliding when we get married.
Yes, we have to understand the amazing journey that we are embarking on.
Two worlds are colliding into one.
(04:51):
We have to think about that. Even though we are compatible, it requires a deep
understanding on the journey we are embarking on.
Think about that. Even though we are compatible with our spouses,
there's still difficulties. It's really complex.
It requires a lot of work, and it requires an effort, even though we're compatible.
(05:17):
Now, imagine somebody who is not compatible.
Think about that. Because if we are compatible with each other,
we still grew up with different habits.
We grew up with different taste buds. We grew up with even some different cultures,
different emotional characteristics. Characteristics, yes.
(05:38):
Sometimes our spouse may be more, what should we say, maybe more or less emotional or forgiving.
Or let's say more, they are more seldom to hold a grudge.
So even though we have different, even emotional characteristics,
(06:01):
also that means that we are completely different to each other.
With different identities. We are not the same, right?
And some may say at this point, somebody could even say, whoa,
whoa, if that's marriage, I don't even want to try it.
Look at the work I have ahead. It's an uphill battle, right?
(06:25):
And they may feel discouraged to even pursue marriage, right?
But no, it is possible.
We could attain it. It is not impossible. It is possible. It requires an effort.
It requires a dedication.
It requires determination.
(06:47):
Well, through all this, throw all this in there, what we talked about.
Throw all this in there, the different habits, different taste buds,
different cultures, different emotional characteristics, different identities, throw it all in there.
That means that we have to mold it all into one.
(07:08):
My habits, my likes and dislikes, my characteristics, my strengths,
my weaknesses, one way or another, I have to mold it with my wife's.
And she has to mold hers into mine. Explain that to me.
See how we have to make it work? It takes two. It takes two,
(07:31):
not just one. Well, that's the first problem.
When I don't want to mold my life for the benefit of the marriage.
Rather, you mold your entire life to mine.
Some of us go into marriage thinking like that. Some of us are holding back.
(07:54):
Well, I'd rather be the one that I may say, yes, yes, I love you.
I'm going to make it work.
I'm going to. But I'd rather you mold your life to mine.
I'd rather you stop talking to these kind of people because I want you to mold to my life.
(08:16):
I am not going to stop talking to my friends. I am not going to stop doing this.
I am not going to stop doing that.
So somebody only wants to mold their life, but not the other one, right?
So that means that that person that doesn't want to mold his or her life completely,
he or she doesn't prioritize the marriage.
(08:40):
Or he or she doesn't prioritize their spouse.
Spouse, when one person is willing to mold their life to marriage with,
I'm going to say it again,
when only one person in a marriage wants to mold their life for the better of the marriage,
the marriage will only last five to 10 years. Five to 10 years.
(09:04):
When neither of the spouses want to mold their lives for the better of the marriage,
the marriage will only last a couple of years. Those are the statistics.
And also one thought.
Keep this in mind. And we've seen it all along. You've seen it.
(09:25):
A lot of the times when these marriages are literally on the brink of destruction,
I don't know why, they decide to have kids.
Yes, for some weird reason, they think by bringing kids into the picture,
it will solve their problems.
(09:46):
No, these marriages that are in the brink of destruction, when they end up having
kids, that's the catalyst for the marriage to completely fall apart.
And these kids grow up in separate homes.
That happens. I've seen it. I've seen it on my relatives and friends.
They're having a tumultuous life and marriage and they're not getting along.
(10:11):
They're both not on the same page.
They're constantly in discord for whatever reason.
They think that having kids is going to solve the problem and it's going to
make everything better. No, no.
Kids need to come to a house, to a marriage that are already on the same page.
(10:35):
That's when it works out. When they're both on the same page,
when they're both working on providing themselves a better life emotionally
and financially and so forth.
First it's emotional and then financial, not the other way around.
First, they need to, as a marriage, find that point that they are both in agreement
(10:59):
to emotionally grow, emotionally respect each other, emotionally love each other.
Emotionally prioritize each other sometimes our priorities are not set into our spouse,
sometimes we limit how much we want to mold ourselves to our spouse yes yes
(11:21):
i'll do this i'll do this i'll do that but not this not that not this and not
that that's when it doesn't work it has to be a complete commitment and and
even though it's been is it's been used so loosely around,
it is a commitment and it requires a complete commitment for it to work either for both.
(11:42):
They both need a commitment. They both need to understand that it's just you and me now.
Even though I have my parents and my relatives, at the end of the day, it's you and me.
And when When each other respects each other, there is no room for disagreements
(12:03):
when it comes to, we're going to go visit our relative.
Even though one of my relatives is kind of like, hey, it's kind of adamant to
receive my wife with open arms, etc.
When we encounter that, when we are going to a gathering, and there's been history
there with some of our relatives.
(12:26):
First is my wife, because she respects me. She hasn't respected me.
And at the same time, I am not going to let nobody to respect my wife,
because she is respecting me.
She's shown me loyalty, and she's faithful to my marriage, to my house, to my kids.
So, therefore, I need to also protect her, also provide for her the emotional
(12:51):
support that she requires and then also the financial support. It goes hand in hand.
So, we need to first, this is the first conversation we're going to have when
it comes to the really wide understanding of marriage.
And how to begin identifying the possibilities that could cause our marriage to fail.
(13:20):
If we recognize what we are not supposed to do, we will prosper in our marriage. See you guys later.
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