From Rock Bottom to Reactive-Dog Trainer: My Journey

This one’s personal.

In 2019, I made a decision I thought would help my dog Fitz—something I believed would make his reactivity better. But instead, it changed both of our lives in ways I never saw coming.

This episode isn’t about chaos. It’s about what came after—the guilt, the overwhelm, and the quiet belief that I had somehow failed my dog.

That’s where this podcast was born.

Because I couldn’t find a judgment-free space when I needed one—so I created it.

You’ll hear:

• The decision I made for Fitz that didn’t go the way I hoped
• How the storm shaped the mission behind Straight Up Dog Talk
• Why solo episodes like this exist—and who they’re here for
• A reminder that you’re not alone, no matter where you are in the process

If you’re feeling discouraged, tired, or unsure of what’s next… this space is for you.

You’re not failing. You’re learning. And I’m so glad you’re here.

🎙️ Solo episodes drop every other Monday

🎧 Guest video episodes launch July 23

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💛 If this episode resonated, please share it with a friend or leave a review—it helps more pet parents find support that actually feels good.

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#reactivedog #dogpodcast #dogbehavior #bigfeelingdogs #dogparentlife

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
If you've ever felt like you were the only one struggling
with your dog, or like there wasno safe place to ask questions
or for help in general, then this episode is for you.
Welcome to straight up dog talk.I'm Em and if you're new here,

(00:24):
this is our first solo episode of Straight Up Dog Talk.
Feels a little surreal to be doing this.
I feel so awkward and I don't know, I guess I never thought
that the podcast would get to this point, but here we are and
these episodes are going to be alittle bit different.

(00:46):
This podcast didn't start in themiddle of a mess.
It began when I started finding my way out of it, after I made
hard decisions, after I worked through Fitz's reactivity, and
most definitely after I realizedthat nobody should ever have to
do this alone. I created this space because I
couldn't find it when I needed it.

(01:07):
I needed somewhere safe, honest,and judgement free, especially
for people who had dogs with bigfeelings.
So I built it. I started this podcast because I
wanted to share my learning journey with you.
And so far, up to this point, we've done that.
I learned from every single episode that we have a guest.

(01:27):
I learned something new. I learned something that helps
me in a way that I couldn't haveimagined, or I see something
through a new lens that triggersa new idea that helps me when
I'm working with my clients. And it's been really inspiring.
And don't worry, those episodes are not going to stop.
They'll still be every week, andmaybe the solo episodes will get

(01:48):
there too. Plus, if we continue down this
path and we start the RV journeysoon, they'll be even more fun
content. For the past year and a half,
the podcast has been a place forpowerful conversations with
trainers, with nutrition experts, with grief counselors,
you name it. We've had the best guests and we
will continue to have the best guests.

(02:09):
But today, today we're adding something new.
Just you and me, straight up. Real talk, In July of 20/19, I
made a decision that I thought would help Fitz, who you all
know as my big feeling reactive,sometimes even easily

(02:30):
overwhelmed dog. That summer, July of 2019, I
decided to move in with someone that I shouldn't have, all so
that Fitz could have a yard. We hit stop going to dog parks.
Because of his reactivity, I thought more space and time to
play in the yard would be helpful.

(02:51):
Wear him out, get some of that energy out, and hopefully help
him not be so reactive. It would be much quieter.
There wouldn't be people walkingup and down the hallways of the
apartment, slamming doors, coming in and out late at night,
other dogs, cats, all of the things, right?
People having parties, music, just constant things for him to

(03:15):
trigger, stack and bark at. And you're going to learn really
quickly here that it wasn't. In a way it helped because in my
journey with Fitz, this is the time where I became severely
uncomfortable with the E collar and feeling like his active
listening was only active because it had to be.

(03:35):
He wasn't listening because he wanted to, he was listening
because he had to, and that didn't fit right with me.
Moving to house gave me the ability to give him a little bit
more freedom to not have to correct him when the neighbor's
dog was barking and then he was barking or the neighbor's door

(03:56):
slammed and he was barking. Being in the house gave me the
opportunity to give him a yard to take him outside and play.
But I was learning very quickly that the amount of play didn't
help. Not all of the time, because he
just wouldn't quit. He just kept going.
And then he would get silly and his tongue would be lolling all

(04:19):
over the place and he would justkeep running himself into the
ground every night. I had a dog that didn't know how
to settle and I didn't realize it, so it opened up a whole
different can of worms in the experience with Fitz because I
learned what I thought he neededwasn't the full picture and this

(04:43):
is where all of the light bulb moments started to happen.
The other problem was that the environment itself was harmful.
My partner at the time was an alcoholic and due to
complications like a land hurricane that happened here in
Cedar Rapids, there was a housing shortage and for a
while, even after our relationship ended, there wasn't

(05:05):
anywhere for me to go. The situation became volatile
and dangerous for both me and the dogs, and by the end of me
getting out of that household, Iwas locking myself in the
bedroom every single night at 8:00.
It was scary and it really sucked.

(05:25):
The day that I was finally able to move out, a bunch of my
friends came over and it was like all of my friends and their
SUVs and their minivans just like descended on my household.
And to make things even worse and even more embarrassing, he

(05:46):
had gotten so drunk the night before that he was literally
passed out in the middle of the floor and my friends were
legitimately stepping over him while we were carrying boxes out
of the house. It was really sad, but it was
also a little bit validating because I hadn't shown anyone

(06:11):
what was happening. People were shocked to find out
that he had a drinking problem and that things had been so bad
for so long because I was afraidto talk about it.
I was afraid to tell people thatI was in this bad situation, and
I was afraid to ask for help. Looking back, I realized that

(06:36):
that move hurt us more than I thought it did.
Even though I know I made that choice from a place of love, I
also know that I made it from a place of fear and desperation.
And I know that some of you listening and watching have done
something similar. You made a hard, necessary call

(07:01):
to do right by your dog. This podcast.
It wasn't created from perfection in any way, shape or
form. It was created from pain and
healing. I wasn't able to find a space
that felt safe, so I built it for you because nobody should

(07:25):
have to go through what I went through.
Not by themselves, not in a toxic relationship, not with a
dog that they don't understand, not crying behind a locked door
every night at 8:00 PM. And in this space, you won't be
judged. You won't be told that your dog

(07:46):
is broken. I'm not going to push quick
fixes. You will always be met with
honesty, grace, and options because that is what you
deserve. I want these solo episodes to
feel like you're sitting on my porch or in my living room or in
my backyard and having a conversation with a close

(08:10):
friend, with someone who has been there, and with someone who
can help you see you, yourself and your dog with more
compassion. I'm going to tell stories from
my own life and with permission from my clients lives.
We'll talk about things like what to do when your dog's

(08:32):
reactivity makes you feel embarrassed, how to create calm
without a daily walk in your life, why your relationship with
your dog matters more than the number of cues that they can
complete. What nobody tells you about
healing, connection, and play. And of course, the real life.

(08:57):
Muddy Pennsylvania Porch life 2:00 AM voice note.
Full on version of dog life. I'm sure that sometimes we'll
laugh and sometimes we'll cry, but that is the joy of loving a
dog. That is the joy of life and
healing and growing together. You have to be able to laugh and

(09:21):
cry our way through it. And starting on July 23rd, all
of our guest interviews will be in video format also.
And I'm so excited to take that next step with the podcast and
you. I hope that this space makes you

(09:41):
feel like somebody sees you, that you're not the only one
who's googled what's wrong with my dog while sobbing at 2:00 AM
because you can't sleep and you don't know what to do, and that
you can 100% start again withoutshame.

(10:01):
If this resonated with you, share it with a fellow dog lover
who needs a little bit more compassion.
Don't forget to subscribe on your favorite platform so you
don't miss any of the new stuff that's coming.
Trust me, you won't want to. And if you want to connect on a
deeper level, you can use the show notes to schedule a free
consult to train with me. I'm so glad we're doing this and

(10:24):
thanks for being here and for showing up for your dog even
when it's hard. We'll see you next time on
Straight Up Dog Talk.