Why My Anxiety Was Sabotaging My Dog’s Training (And What Finally Changed)

What if your dog’s reactivity isn’t just about training—but what you are holding inside?
In this raw, unfiltered solo episode, Em shares her personal healing journey—from quitting Xanax after 15 years to discovering the emotional patterns that were quietly shaping her dog’s behavior. What started as a health crisis turned into a nervous system awakening—and the lessons it revealed changed everything about how she shows up for her dogs and herself.

You'll Learn:

• Learn how unaddressed anxiety impacts training, reactivity, and dog behavior

• Discover how slowing down creates emotional safety for both dog and human

• Hear what it actually looks like to shift from performance to partnership

Press play for a powerful reminder that peace—not perfection—is the real goal, and your dog might already be showing you the way there.

Straight Up Dog Talk Extras:

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This podcast explores real-life dog behavior and training, diving into reactivity, barking, dog anxiety, aggression, picky eating, gut health, and dog food—while unpacking enrichment, mental stimulation, supplements, calming aids, and holistic pet wellness. Whether you’re raising a rescue dog, supporting a senior dog, managing a velcro dog, or just navigating life with a dog who’s asking for more, you’ll find practical tools to build trust, strengthen communication, and create a safe, thriving life together.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
To think peace was something youearned after fixing yourself,
but it turns out it's something you choose, and choosing it
changed everything. Welcome to Straight Up Dog Talk,
the podcast for real dog people who want more than filtered

(00:23):
advice and Internet perfect solutions.
I'm M dog trainer, canine nutritionist, enrichment
specialist and lifelong advocatefor big feeling dogs and the
humans who love them Around herewe talk about what really
matters because this journey isn't always easy and you and
your dog deserve the support that actually meets you where

(00:43):
you are. In today's solo episode, I'm
sharing how breaking my foot forced me to completely
reevaluate what I was chasing, why I chose to stop taking Xanax
after 15 years, and how it has changed my life, and how my dogs
helped me redefine what peace actually looks and feels like in
our home, our routines, and in my own body.

(01:03):
I broke my foot in January, and I know that sounds small in the
grand scheme of things, but thatmoment shifted everything for me
because I couldn't move. I couldn't walk my dogs, I
couldn't clean, I couldn't film a lot of content or even keep up
with all of the little things that made me feel like I was
doing OK. And in that stillness, I

(01:25):
realized just how hard I'd been running for four months.
I was off my feet, literally. I had no choice but to sit with
myself. And I started asking, what am I
doing all of this for? Who am I doing all of this for?
And is any of this actually making me happy?
And that's when it hit. I'd built so much of my life
chasing external validation, doing things because I thought I

(01:48):
was supposed to, or because someone else expected it, or
because it looked good from the outside.
But none of that actually felt good on the inside.
And for the first time, I gave myself permission to ask, what
would it look like to be happy for me?
And that was the beginning. What I didn't realize until
recently is just how much pressure I'd been carrying to

(02:09):
show up perfectly, especially here on the podcast, in my
content as a trainer, as someonewho's supposed to have the
answers. It felt like every episode
needed to be perfectly articulated, every story had to
have a clean resolution, every moment had to prove I was
thriving before I had the right to speak.
And it made everything harder. The writing, the filming, the

(02:33):
sharing. I was second guessing every word
because I thought showing up while still figuring it out made
me less trustworthy. Here's what I realized.
That's actually the part that people need the most.
Not the polished finish line, not the expert mode, but the
messy middle. The real human stuff.

(02:54):
Because that's where most of us are living anyway.
Once I gave myself permission toshare from that place,
everything opened up. One day, not long after, Fitz
was barking non-stop. And I don't mean once or twice,
I mean everything. Set him off.
A leaf, a car, a kid, a shift inthe wind, a girl farting.
He was on high alert and I was spiraling.

(03:16):
And then he stopped. He turned around and he looked
straight at me. Not in fear, not in frustration,
just this very still, very present.
Look like you're good. And I felt it in my chest.
He wasn't reacting to the world,He was reacting to me reacting
to the world. He was picking up everything I

(03:36):
was holding in my body. Stress, urgency, tension.
And that was the moment I realized peace isn't something I
just give to my dogs, it's something I share with them or
take away from them. That realization changed how I
showed up in the house, not justin how I trained or structured
the day, but in how I carried myself.

(03:59):
Because if I wanted peace in my household had to find it in me
first. The next part is vulnerable, but
it's real and I want to talk about it.
I started taking Xanax in 2010 after my surgery in 2009.
It's been 15 years and honestly,it helped me survive some of the
hardest years of my life. It kept me grounded when nothing

(04:19):
else did. It helped me function when panic
ruled my body. But earlier this year, while I
was healing from my foot injury,rediscovering my purpose,
reconnecting with my dogs and with myself, my therapist looked
at me and said, you're healthy, happy, thriving.
I've never seen you in such a good place.
Do you think you might be ready to try life without it?

(04:42):
And I was scared, so scared. What if I had a panic attack?
What if I needed again? What if I couldn't sleep without
it? Sometimes just missing a single
dose would wreck my night, but with her support, I decided to
try. We tapered my dose slowly over
the next four months, from 2 milligrams to 0.
And now it's been 6 weeks and I am so proud of myself.

(05:05):
I'm sleeping better than I did on Xanax.
I feel clearer, less foggy and more alive and more in control.
Only two minor panic attacks andI've managed them both on my own
and that feels freeing. Not because I beat something,
but because I showed up for myself.
And in a way I never had before.This, to me, is what healing

(05:26):
looks like. Not dramatic, not linear, but
full of tiny, courageous decisions.
So what does peace mean to me now?
It's not silence. It's not control.
It's not having dogs who never bark or never react.
It's feeling safe in your own body and in your own home.
Peace looks like dance parties on Friday night.

(05:47):
Leaving the dishes until after we go outside and play fetch
after dinner. Letting fit sleep under the
blankets because that's where hefeels safe.
It's recognizing that my dogs don't need me to be in control.
They need me to be regulated, tobe aware, to pause, choose
connection over performance. Because when I do that, when I

(06:11):
let go of the need to fix, they soften.
And then we soften together. These days, peace isn't a thing
I chase. It's a rhythm I return to.
It looks like not checking my phone first thing in the
morning. Having breakfast while Toby begs
for food on the floor, feeding fits and watching him enjoy it.

(06:33):
A slow walk where we don't pass anyone.
Saying no without guilt, laughing without performing,
crying without apology. It looks like a nervous system
that trusts me again. And it looks like 2 dogs who
aren't perfect but feel safe because I feel safe.
If you're navigating something hard, whether it's healing,

(06:56):
letting go of perfection, or just trying to catch your
breath, I see you. You don't have to be perfect,
you don't have to have it all figured out, and you don't have
to rush. But you do get to choose peace.
Thank you for being here and listening to this story.
If it resonated, send it to a friend who needs it.
And if you're chasing peace too,I'm right here with you.

(07:19):
See you next time on Straight UpDog Talk.