Burnout, Behavior, and the Pressure of Training a “Good” Dog

Ever feel like you're constantly explaining or apologizing for your reactive dog?

Whether it’s family pushing boundaries, strangers giving unsolicited advice, or that constant pressure to be polite—many reactive dog parents feel stuck between protecting their dog and pleasing others. In this empowering episode, Em shares the moment she stopped asking for permission—and started showing up as her dog’s advocate, with confidence and clarity.

You'll Learn:

• Learn real-world advocacy scripts to use with family, strangers, or even professionals

• Understand how saying “no” can deepen your training results and your dog’s trust

• Shift out of shame and into calm, confident leadership—even when others don’t “get it”

Press play and reclaim your right to advocate for your dog—without guilt, shame, or over-explaining.

Straight Up Dog Talk Extras:

Get a free copy of Feeding without Fear for mealtime manners

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Book FREE 15-minute call with Em

⁠⁠https://straightupdogtalk.hbportal.co/schedule/68cdb369ba20a30034591cd9⁠⁠

Email ⁠⁠[e-mail]⁠⁠ to get in touch with Em

This podcast explores real-life dog behavior and training, diving into reactivity, barking, dog anxiety, aggression, picky eating, gut health, and dog food—while unpacking enrichment, mental stimulation, supplements, calming aids, and holistic pet wellness. Whether you’re raising a rescue dog, supporting a senior dog, managing a velcro dog, or just navigating life with a dog who’s asking for more, you’ll find practical tools to build trust, strengthen communication, and create a safe, thriving life together.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Did everything they said. I followed the protocols, I used
the tools, I watched the videos.I wanted to be the person who
got it all right. But the more I did, the worse I
felt and the more fit struggle. There is part of this journey
that nobody talks about, the part where you are doing
everything right and it's still not working.

(00:22):
And that part nearly broke me. Welcome to Straight Up Dog Talk,
the podcast where no topic is off limits and no pet parent
feels alone. I'm M dog trainer, nutritionist,
and retired bet tech, and I'm here to talk about the real

(00:45):
stuff. The guilt, the grief, the
breakthroughs, and everything inbetween.
Whether you're deep in the trenches or you're just starting
your journey, this is a safe space for big feeling dogs and
the people who love them. Let's get into it.
You've ever found yourself trying to do everything the
right way? Reading every book, watching
every tutorial, combing through YouTube and Google in the middle

(01:07):
of the night, following all of the advice but still ending up
in tears because your dog is struggling?
I want you to know You Are Not alone episode is about the
emotional weight of trying so hard and still not getting the
results that you'd hoped for. Because when we talk about
behavior struggles, we talk a lot about protocols, but we

(01:27):
rarely talk about how it feels when those protocols don't work.
How it chips away at your confidence, how it can make you
question if you're even cut out for this.
Today, I want to pull that into the light.
By the end of this episode, you'll walk away with validation
that doing everything right doesn't always work the way that
we're promised, A breakdown of the emotional toll we don't talk

(01:51):
about enough, the difference between following a plan and
building a relationship, and what actually helped Fitz and I
break out of the burnout loop. Because this isn't about doing
more. It's about doing what matters.
I remember exactly how it built up.
Fitz was still in the early stages of his reactivity, before

(02:12):
I had any real tools that actually fit him.
I was using what I'd learned as a vet tech with my other dogs,
what I'd seen on TV, what peopleonline swore would work.
I was watching other pet parentspost videos of their before and
afters, their dog walking, calling next to them on trails,
resting in cafes, or even greeting people at the door.
And I kept thinking, we'll get there too.

(02:34):
I just have to follow the plan. I remember setting timers for
training drills, taking notes after every walk, tracking how
many wins we got in a day. I thought if I worked hard
enough, if I could do everythingall right, we would be okay.
We would get there. But here's the truth.
I didn't realize I was building my entire life around not trying

(02:57):
to mess up. I wasn't enjoying my dog.
I was trying to fix him. And that pressure.
It was unbearable. The final moment that broke me.
It wasn't a huge, dramatic thing.
It was a normal day, a normal walk.
We'd made it home. I thought we'd done well.
And then a neighbor's car door slammed and Fitz lost it.
Barking, lunging, spinning in circles.

(03:19):
I tried to redirect. I used the cue I'd been
practicing, and he blew right past it.
I tried again, still nothing. I felt this wave of failure
flood over me and I just collapsed onto the floor.
I didn't cry right away, and shortly after that I collapsed
into my bed. I felt completely overwhelmed.
I didn't cry right away. I sat there in silence for a

(03:42):
long time, feeling like the worst pet parent on the planet
because I knew how hard I was trying and I still couldn't help
him feel safe. Have you ever had a moment like
that where you're trying to so hard to do everything right?
You're checking every box, you're reading all of the
content, you're following every tip, and still your dog

(04:05):
struggles? Maybe you've sat in the car
after a failed walk and just stared at the steering wheel
with the music blaring. Maybe you've hidden in the
bathroom because your dog wouldn't stop barking and you're
just done and you needed a moment of peace to yourself.
If that's you, I want you to hear this.
This system is not built for your dog, and your dog is not

(04:28):
broken. The emotional toll is real, and
it's valid, and it's something so many of us carry in silence,
and we shouldn't have to. So what do you do when you're
doing it all right and it's still not working?
Well, first you pause. Not forever, but for long enough
to ask a better question. Not what else can I do, but what

(04:52):
does my dog actually need right now?
Then ditch the timeline. Ditch the performance goals.
Ditch the idea that you have to earn progress by being perfect.
Your dog doesn't need a perfect pet parent.
Your dog needs a present pet parent.
And honestly, you probably need rest too.

(05:14):
There's nothing wrong with taking a week off from walks, or
two or three or months, or even letting enrichment be messy and
fun instead of structured and impressive, or not filming your
progress for once. What changed for us didn't come
from a new tool or a cue, it came from letting go of the
pressure to be good enough. Here's what I learned that I

(05:37):
wish someone had told me earlier.
You can follow every single ruleand not get the results you want
because your dog isn't a robot. Training isn't about control,
it's about communication and regulation.
You are allowed to trust your gut, even when it goes against
what the checklist says. And you're allowed to need

(05:59):
things too, for yourself. Because when we center
everything around performance, we lose connection, we lose
trust, and we lose sight of the whole point of all of this.
It's not about doing it perfectly.
It's about learning to live and grow together, flaws, fears and
all. If you've ever felt like this,

(06:19):
well, trying your hardest. I see it and I hope you'll send
this episode to someone else whoneeds to hear it.
If you're in that burnt out phase, come grab my free
enrichment guide. It's full of pressure free,
connection building activities that don't require structure,
obedience or perfection. It's all about play and fun.
You are doing more than enough and you're not alone.

(06:42):
I'm proud of you for trying. And always remember, don't
hesitate to reach out with questions or ask for support.
I'm always happy to help and I'll see this time next week on
Straight Up Talk Talk.