August 11, 2025 • 12 mins
In this reactive dog podcast episode, Em shares why daily walks made Fitz’s behavior worse—and the peaceful alternatives that actually helped him thrive.
🐾 What if your dog doesn’t need a walk today?
In this gentle, judgment-free solo episode, Em shares the emotional moment she realized daily walks were making Fitz’s behavior worse—and the alternatives that finally helped him feel safe, calm, and connected.
If you’ve ever skipped a walk and felt guilty, or cried your way through one that left you both dysregulated, this one’s for you. Because it’s not about the perfect routine. It’s about what actually supports your dog.
💡 You’ll learn:
• Why “just walk your dog” doesn’t work for every dog• How overstimulation and pressure can backfire• Simple, peaceful alternatives to daily walks• How to release guilt and build trust instead• What Fitz and I do now (and how it changed everything)
✨ Stay Connected:
🌐 Website + Free Resources: straightupdogtalk.com
🆓 Book your free training or nutrition consult: straightupdogtalk.hbportal.co/schedule/668856198dc476001953809b
💛 Follow Straight Up Dog Talk for more insights and updates on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and Facebook.
💛 If this episode resonated, share it with a friend or leave a review—it helps more pet parents find support that actually feels good.
#dogpodcast #reactivedog #dogtrainingtips #bigfeelingdogs #judgmentfreezone
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
The truth is, Fitz doesn't even like walks, and for a long time
I thought that meant I was failing him.
Welcome to Straight up Dog Talk.I'm Em and this is one of our
solo episodes where it's just you and me and a whole lot of
(00:23):
honest conversation about what life the dogs is really like.
Kind of dogs who are big feelings, misunderstood and just
not into everything that people on the Internet think they
should be. Today we're going to talk about
something that used to bring me so much guilt.
So much guilt. Walks.
(00:44):
The daily walk argument. The pressure to take your dog on
a daily walk is real. It's really real.
So if you've ever skipped a walkor you pushed your dog through a
walk when they clearly weren't vibing with it, then this
episode is for you. I used to believe that taking
(01:06):
fits on a walk every day becausewe didn't have a yard was the
right thing to do, was the best thing for him.
Because that's what responsible dog parents do in order to
exercise their dogs when they don't have a yard, right?
(01:27):
No, not right. Not for us at least, and maybe
not for you. But The thing is, it's didn't
even like walks. He would freeze, he would hide,
he would try to get underneath cars, he would drag me back to
the apartment complex and it wasa constant struggle between the
(01:54):
two of us. His body language told me every
single time that he was not having fun and I was trying to
push him through it because I thought I had to.
So when I finally stopped and asked myself, who is this
actually helping? The answer was neither of us.
(02:18):
It wasn't helping me because I was stressed out and
legitimately trying to force my dog to do something that I knew
that he didn't want to be doing.So it wasn't helping him because
I was just stressing him out, which was stressing me out,
which just caused a whole bunch of inner turmoil and discomfort
(02:40):
for both of us. So that's when we stopped going
on long walks because up to thispoint, I had been missing the
whole point. What did he need?
Not what do I think we should do, not what does everyone else
(03:01):
think we should do, but what does he need?
What would make him happy, what would make him fulfilled?
And what would bring that crazy energy level down?
Certainly wasn't walks, because when we would get home, he'd be
even crazier than he was when weleft because he was so amped up
(03:23):
from being stressed out. It was just pouring over into
the situation every time we got home.
So now you're probably saying, wait a second, but I thought
that dogs needed to go on walks.And you're not wrong.
Some dogs thrive on daily walks,but others not so much.
(03:44):
Dogs who are reactive, anxious, get overstimulated easily, are
recovering from a traumatic event, who experience stress
easily, may find walks to be toomuch.
And overstimulation definitely does not mean calm, and I
learned that the hard way. So what do dogs actually need?
(04:10):
Predictability, emotional safety, mental engagement, trust
and time to decompress. But what does all that mean and
what should you have said? I'm going to tell you since we
quit going on daily walks and started focusing on other
things. Skills, comfort levels,
(04:32):
decompression, habituation. Fitz has made more progress and
had more fun and gotten more value out of his life than he
ever did with daily walks. Does that mean that walks won't
ever be right for us again? No, we're definitely working up
(04:53):
towards being able to go on bigger adventures, especially if
we're going to do things like live RV life, because we're
going to have to be able to do things like go on hikes and stay
in specific areas and potentially be around people
again. Which is why we have done the
things that we have done to build up our trust, our
relationship, and our confidencein new situations.
(05:17):
And let me tell you what, he is thriving.
He's doing such a magnificent job and I can see that he is so
much more relaxed and so much more calm in these situations.
So instead of dragging him through the neighborhood, this
is what we do instead. First and foremost, backyard
decompression time. No leash, no stress, no
(05:42):
pressure, no structure. Just quality sniffing time and
lots of treats. This also includes find it
games, handful of food find it. This gives him the opportunity
to sniff and explore at his paceand make decisions about how he
(06:03):
wants to interact with the worldaround him while he's eating.
Because if you didn't know this,dogs are emotional eaters.
And when they eat, it brings their mental anxiety,
overstimulation, angst, all of those things down.
(06:23):
It helps them decompress. And that's exactly what Fitz
needed. Focus on me and not be so
stressed out about what was happening around him.
And by using his meal in the yard, it gave him the
opportunity to explore and learnabout the sense and sounds
(06:44):
around him while enjoying a snack.
And who doesn't love that? The magic treat mat.
I'm sure that some of you have heard us talk about the magic
treat mat before. We have a place mat on our back
porch and it's called the Magic treat mat because Toby thinks
that's where you go to magicallymake treats appear.
(07:05):
And it's only because he's a creeper and he sits inside the
door and watches us work on the place mat.
Training mat can be used on the porch, in the yard, and we can
play games, we can do tricks, wecan have tiny structured
training sessions or we can justhang out together in the yard or
(07:28):
on the porch on the mat. It doesn't have to be anything
significant, it just has to be special.
And again, it's the magic mat because that's where treats
appear, right? So after Fitz is released, Toby
will enter to the porch and immediately go to the mat and
sit on it because, duh, that's where the treats come from.
(07:53):
Never have I had a smarter dog in the whole wide world.
And Toby, when it comes to figuring out how to finagle me
into treats. Hi.
Hi. Oh, my goodness.
Are you coming up here? OK, You're coming up here.
I guess this is going to join usfor a little bit.
(08:13):
Another thing that we do is workon short laps in the yard.
First we started in the backyardand then we worked in the
driveway and now we're working in the front yard.
And this just looks like me putting his leash on him, his
harness and leash on him, and exploring the yard with the same
(08:35):
things that we were doing in thebackyard without the leash.
Treat scatters, full snacks for coming and going and paying
attention to what's happening with me and practicing our leash
skills, practicing turns, practicing our back pedal and
our side shuffle, and navigatingthrough the yard together.
(08:55):
Again, this can be in the front yard or the backyard when your
dog is ready for it. We didn't go into the front yard
for quite a while. We worked in the backyard for a
long time just getting him used to being on the leash again and
not freaking out every time thatI put it on him because it
didn't mean we were going somewhere and doing something.
It takes the pressure off of this situation and gives you the
(09:18):
ability to help your dog baby step through these skills and
get used to operating in the leash and harness again.
And of course, we have our otherfavorite activities, which are
our swift paws, our ball time, and our agility course.
I understand not everybody has the ability to play out in their
(09:38):
yard the way that we do. We didn't have that ability for
almost the first two years of his life, which is how I got
trapped in the dog park world, which again made things worse
for us. But you can set up agility
courses in your house. You can teach your dog scent
games, you can do tricks and play games.
(10:01):
There's so much you can do inside of a small space that you
wouldn't even believe. It just takes a little bit of
creativity. So if walks feel like a
nightmare and your dog is cominghome way more wired than they
were when you left, your dog's not broken and neither are you.
There are other ways to connect,build confidence, and meet your
(10:22):
dog's needs without even leavingyour apartment, your front
stoop, or even the driveway. You are allowed to choose what
works best for your dog. You're allowed to not go on that
walk today and your dog is stillloved, still fulfilled, and
still doing the best that they can.
And that is all that matters. So if you needed someone to tell
(10:46):
you that you can skip the walks,this is it.
Here I am telling you, skip the walk if it brings you joy, if it
brings your dog joy, skip the walk.
If your dog struggles on walks or if you're working through
reactivity or just big feelings in general, or maybe you just
don't have the emotional bandwidth today, it is 100% OK
(11:11):
to pause. There are so many other ways to
support your dog without white knuckling it through the entire
neighborhood. And the more we talk about that,
the more we normalize doing what's right for the dog in
front of us and not just what everyone on the Internet expects
(11:32):
us to do. We can't make meaningful change
for our big feeling dogs withoutputting ourselves out there and
learning and growing with them. If this episode gave you a
little piece or made you feel even the tiniest bit more seen,
I'd love it if you'd share it with someone else who needs that
feeling too. Thanks for being here for this
(11:54):
solo episode of Straight Up Dog Talk and I will see you on the
next episode.
The truth is, Fitz doesn't even like walks, and for a long time
I thought that meant I was failing him.
Welcome to Straight up Dog Talk.I'm Em and this is one of our
solo episodes where it's just you and me and a whole lot of
(00:23):
honest conversation about what life the dogs is really like.
Kind of dogs who are big feelings, misunderstood and just
not into everything that people on the Internet think they
should be. Today we're going to talk about
something that used to bring me so much guilt.
So much guilt. Walks.
(00:44):
The daily walk argument. The pressure to take your dog on
a daily walk is real. It's really real.
So if you've ever skipped a walkor you pushed your dog through a
walk when they clearly weren't vibing with it, then this
episode is for you. I used to believe that taking
(01:06):
fits on a walk every day becausewe didn't have a yard was the
right thing to do, was the best thing for him.
Because that's what responsible dog parents do in order to
exercise their dogs when they don't have a yard, right?
(01:27):
No, not right. Not for us at least, and maybe
not for you. But The thing is, it's didn't
even like walks. He would freeze, he would hide,
he would try to get underneath cars, he would drag me back to
the apartment complex and it wasa constant struggle between the
(01:54):
two of us. His body language told me every
single time that he was not having fun and I was trying to
push him through it because I thought I had to.
So when I finally stopped and asked myself, who is this
actually helping? The answer was neither of us.
(02:18):
It wasn't helping me because I was stressed out and
legitimately trying to force my dog to do something that I knew
that he didn't want to be doing.So it wasn't helping him because
I was just stressing him out, which was stressing me out,
which just caused a whole bunch of inner turmoil and discomfort
(02:40):
for both of us. So that's when we stopped going
on long walks because up to thispoint, I had been missing the
whole point. What did he need?
Not what do I think we should do, not what does everyone else
(03:01):
think we should do, but what does he need?
What would make him happy, what would make him fulfilled?
And what would bring that crazy energy level down?
Certainly wasn't walks, because when we would get home, he'd be
even crazier than he was when weleft because he was so amped up
(03:23):
from being stressed out. It was just pouring over into
the situation every time we got home.
So now you're probably saying, wait a second, but I thought
that dogs needed to go on walks.And you're not wrong.
Some dogs thrive on daily walks,but others not so much.
(03:44):
Dogs who are reactive, anxious, get overstimulated easily, are
recovering from a traumatic event, who experience stress
easily, may find walks to be toomuch.
And overstimulation definitely does not mean calm, and I
learned that the hard way. So what do dogs actually need?
(04:10):
Predictability, emotional safety, mental engagement, trust
and time to decompress. But what does all that mean and
what should you have said? I'm going to tell you since we
quit going on daily walks and started focusing on other
things. Skills, comfort levels,
(04:32):
decompression, habituation. Fitz has made more progress and
had more fun and gotten more value out of his life than he
ever did with daily walks. Does that mean that walks won't
ever be right for us again? No, we're definitely working up
(04:53):
towards being able to go on bigger adventures, especially if
we're going to do things like live RV life, because we're
going to have to be able to do things like go on hikes and stay
in specific areas and potentially be around people
again. Which is why we have done the
things that we have done to build up our trust, our
relationship, and our confidencein new situations.
(05:17):
And let me tell you what, he is thriving.
He's doing such a magnificent job and I can see that he is so
much more relaxed and so much more calm in these situations.
So instead of dragging him through the neighborhood, this
is what we do instead. First and foremost, backyard
decompression time. No leash, no stress, no
(05:42):
pressure, no structure. Just quality sniffing time and
lots of treats. This also includes find it
games, handful of food find it. This gives him the opportunity
to sniff and explore at his paceand make decisions about how he
(06:03):
wants to interact with the worldaround him while he's eating.
Because if you didn't know this,dogs are emotional eaters.
And when they eat, it brings their mental anxiety,
overstimulation, angst, all of those things down.
(06:23):
It helps them decompress. And that's exactly what Fitz
needed. Focus on me and not be so
stressed out about what was happening around him.
And by using his meal in the yard, it gave him the
opportunity to explore and learnabout the sense and sounds
(06:44):
around him while enjoying a snack.
And who doesn't love that? The magic treat mat.
I'm sure that some of you have heard us talk about the magic
treat mat before. We have a place mat on our back
porch and it's called the Magic treat mat because Toby thinks
that's where you go to magicallymake treats appear.
(07:05):
And it's only because he's a creeper and he sits inside the
door and watches us work on the place mat.
Training mat can be used on the porch, in the yard, and we can
play games, we can do tricks, wecan have tiny structured
training sessions or we can justhang out together in the yard or
(07:28):
on the porch on the mat. It doesn't have to be anything
significant, it just has to be special.
And again, it's the magic mat because that's where treats
appear, right? So after Fitz is released, Toby
will enter to the porch and immediately go to the mat and
sit on it because, duh, that's where the treats come from.
(07:53):
Never have I had a smarter dog in the whole wide world.
And Toby, when it comes to figuring out how to finagle me
into treats. Hi.
Hi. Oh, my goodness.
Are you coming up here? OK, You're coming up here.
I guess this is going to join usfor a little bit.
(08:13):
Another thing that we do is workon short laps in the yard.
First we started in the backyardand then we worked in the
driveway and now we're working in the front yard.
And this just looks like me putting his leash on him, his
harness and leash on him, and exploring the yard with the same
(08:35):
things that we were doing in thebackyard without the leash.
Treat scatters, full snacks for coming and going and paying
attention to what's happening with me and practicing our leash
skills, practicing turns, practicing our back pedal and
our side shuffle, and navigatingthrough the yard together.
(08:55):
Again, this can be in the front yard or the backyard when your
dog is ready for it. We didn't go into the front yard
for quite a while. We worked in the backyard for a
long time just getting him used to being on the leash again and
not freaking out every time thatI put it on him because it
didn't mean we were going somewhere and doing something.
It takes the pressure off of this situation and gives you the
(09:18):
ability to help your dog baby step through these skills and
get used to operating in the leash and harness again.
And of course, we have our otherfavorite activities, which are
our swift paws, our ball time, and our agility course.
I understand not everybody has the ability to play out in their
(09:38):
yard the way that we do. We didn't have that ability for
almost the first two years of his life, which is how I got
trapped in the dog park world, which again made things worse
for us. But you can set up agility
courses in your house. You can teach your dog scent
games, you can do tricks and play games.
(10:01):
There's so much you can do inside of a small space that you
wouldn't even believe. It just takes a little bit of
creativity. So if walks feel like a
nightmare and your dog is cominghome way more wired than they
were when you left, your dog's not broken and neither are you.
There are other ways to connect,build confidence, and meet your
(10:22):
dog's needs without even leavingyour apartment, your front
stoop, or even the driveway. You are allowed to choose what
works best for your dog. You're allowed to not go on that
walk today and your dog is stillloved, still fulfilled, and
still doing the best that they can.
And that is all that matters. So if you needed someone to tell
(10:46):
you that you can skip the walks,this is it.
Here I am telling you, skip the walk if it brings you joy, if it
brings your dog joy, skip the walk.
If your dog struggles on walks or if you're working through
reactivity or just big feelings in general, or maybe you just
don't have the emotional bandwidth today, it is 100% OK
(11:11):
to pause. There are so many other ways to
support your dog without white knuckling it through the entire
neighborhood. And the more we talk about that,
the more we normalize doing what's right for the dog in
front of us and not just what everyone on the Internet expects
(11:32):
us to do. We can't make meaningful change
for our big feeling dogs withoutputting ourselves out there and
learning and growing with them. If this episode gave you a
little piece or made you feel even the tiniest bit more seen,
I'd love it if you'd share it with someone else who needs that
feeling too. Thanks for being here for this
(11:54):
solo episode of Straight Up Dog Talk and I will see you on the
next episode.
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