September 10, 2025 • 51 mins
Ever wonder if your dog is trying to say more than “sit” or “walk”? What if they could talk—using buttons?
In this fascinating episode of Straight Up Dog Talk, Em chats with Molissa, the human behind viral sensation Tilda the Talking Dog. From a single button to full-on emotional conversations, Molissa and Tilda’s journey through button training will have you questioning everything you thought you knew about dog communication.
You’ll learn:
• How Molissa introduced Tilda to button communication
• The training tools and mistakes that shaped their progress
• Emotional moments that proved dogs have so much more to say
• How canine intelligence shows up when we slow down and listen
• The truth about what’s hype—and what’s real—in the “talking dog” movement
Whether you’re curious about dog training, cognitive enrichment, or just want to feel closer to your pup, this episode opens up a whole new way to connect.
🎧 Press play to learn how your dog might already be trying to communicate more than you realize—and how button training could be your next big breakthrough.
Use code Tilda at FluentPet.com to save on button kits.
Shop trusted supplements: https://petmatrx.com/?ref=straightupdogtalkUse code SUDT20 to save 20%
Straight Up Dog Talk Extras:
Get a free copy of Feeding without Fear for mealtime manners
https://straightupdogtalk.com/programs-%26-freebies/ols/products/feeding-without-fear
Book FREE 15-minute call with Em
https://straightupdogtalk.hbportal.co/schedule/68cdb369ba20a30034591cd9
Email straightupdogtalk@gmail.com to get in touch with Em
This podcast explores real-life dog behavior and training, diving into reactivity, barking, dog anxiety, aggression, picky eating, gut health, and dog food—while unpacking enrichment, mental stimulation, supplements, calming aids, and holistic pet wellness. Whether you’re raising a rescue dog, supporting a senior dog, managing a velcro dog, or just navigating life with a dog who’s asking for more, you’ll find practical tools to build trust, strengthen communication, and create a safe, thriving life together.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
You do have to do some research,guys.
You can't just put the buttons on the floor and your dog's
going to know what they are. You have to teach them what the
buttons are. You have to teach them how to
press the buttons, and you have to teach them where the buttons
are for the right things. It's a lot of pattern and
repetition and learning things over and over and over and over
again. It's not something that happens
in a short amount of time. This week's episode is proudly
(00:30):
sponsored and brought to you by our good friends over at Pet
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Straight Up Dog Talk is so excited to be partnered with Pet
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(00:53):
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This stuff works. Period.
Welcome to straight Up Dog Talk,the podcast for real dog people
who want more than filtered advice and surface level tips.
I'm M dog trainer, canine nutritionist, enrichment
specialist, and lifelong advocate for big feeling dogs
(01:16):
and humans doing their best. Each week I sit down with people
who've lived it, studied it, or devoted their lives to helping
dogs and their humans feel more connected.
This basis for honesty, growth and support because because you
and your dog deserve nothing less.
You have probably seen the button Talking dogs online, but
today's guest has actually livedit.
(01:37):
I wanted to bring her on here because this story is so much
deeper than viral trends. It's about connection,
communication, and learning to listen in a whole new way.
So I have to start here. Melissa, do you remember the
first thing that Tilda said withthe buttons and what went
through your mind at that moment?
So I remember the first thing that Tilda said, but then I
(01:59):
remember the first time she actually really made the buttons
her own. And that second time is really
the one that stands out to me. The first thing she said was
play. We started out with just four
buttons and I kind of figured I will just see if she takes to
this and if she doesn't, no big deal.
I'll just go on having a non verbal relationship with my dog.
(02:20):
And she loved, loved, loved thisflirt pole.
It was her absolute favorite toy.
It's like a long PVC tube. There's like a stretchy elastic
thing that comes out of it and then ribbons at the end of the
elastic and you wave it around and the dog chases it.
And puppy Tilda was just absolutely obsessed with this
toy. And so the first time she used
(02:42):
her buttons, it was to hit the play button because that was the
way I illustrated play was I'll swing your favorite toy around.
I'll hit the play button. This means play.
I'm saying the word play. I'm swinging your toy, I'm
pushing the button. And she figured out if I push
that button, then mom's going toplay with this favorite toy with
me. So the first button she pushed
was the play button. And I remember she was thinking
(03:03):
about which button to push. There were four and she went up
to the wrong one and she thoughtabout it, but she didn't push
it. And then she went up to a
different one that was the wrongone.
She thought about it, but she didn't push it.
And then she went over to the play button and she pushed the
play button. And then she waited for me to
wave the toy around. I remember thinking, OK, she
gets it. She gets that these buttons mean
different things. She specifically wants play and
(03:25):
she's pushing the play button, so that was really the first
time she pushed a button on her own.
Then the time where I realized she was making it her own was
maybe 2 weeks later. We'd expanded her board.
She had maybe 1010 words at thispoint and she had some more
feeling words that I added. So I'd added a love you button
(03:45):
because everybody loves hearing their dog say I love you.
And I'd added a tired button andI'd added an all done button and
there may have been one other one in there.
Tilda was running around, she was having crazy zoomies and all
of a sudden she just stopped andshe went over to her buttons and
out of, you know, 10 or 14 buttons, she said all done,
(04:08):
which was 1 button tired. It was a different button.
And then she walked over to a different spot on the floor, and
she just laid down. And she'd stopped running
around. And I'd showed her what all done
meant. And I showed her what tired
meant. But I never paired the two of
them together. And in that moment, Tilda was
all done, and she was tired. And she said all done and tired.
(04:28):
And her actions totally matched the words that she chose, which
she put together on her own. And that was my biggest.
Wow. OK, there's really something to
this. When she finally used them in
context and you realized, what did that feel like for you?
Were you excited? Were you just kind of mind
blown? Were you both?
Yeah, I think it was both. You know, I was, I was mind
(04:51):
blown because, you know, I'd seen the videos.
I believed that there was no doubt in my mind that dogs that
I was seeing on social media videos were genuinely pushing
the buttons and buttons said what they said and that they
learned what the button said. I just wasn't sure that I'd have
a dog that would do that becausenot every dog wants to.
And I wasn't planning to force this on my dog and I don't think
(05:13):
anybody does that. I was mind blown to see her not
only use them, but to show such an understanding of what they
meant. And by that I mean the words
that she chose just exactly matched what was happening, and
they were words that I knew she knew because we'd use them a lot
in contact. It's pretty mind blown to just
(05:34):
see that work in front of my eyes.
And then I was excited for the possibility of what this would
mean for our relationship, that now we could use these buttons
as a tool for her to communicateand tell me how she feels.
And she seemed to enjoy it and Icertainly liked hearing what she
had to say. So it felt, it felt mind blowing
(05:56):
and it felt exciting. It was a very special moment for
sure. At what point after this did you
feel like this was real communication happening between
the two of you? Because obviously picking out a
word here and there is one thing.
But having her speak to you probably more than once,
probably more than a few times, and really feeling like, OK,
(06:16):
yeah, this is her talking to me.She does understand this.
This is beyond, I want to go outside, I want to play, I want
to lay down because I'm tired. This is actually something.
How long do you think that took?I think it, it really felt
pretty solid in that moment. And then over the course of the
several months that followed, just having more and more
occasions like that where what she was saying was just so just
(06:41):
undeniably matching her actions and what was happening in the
moment that just, you know, really solidified for me.
OK, this is for real. Pretty shortly after that all
done tired moment, there's a love you button on her board.
And she pushed the love you button and then ran over to
where I was and started licking me and started looking for
(07:01):
attention. Moments like that.
And there, there are a bunch of times I can think of where it
felt like, wow, this is really Tilda's button use explained
behavior that I otherwise would not have understood.
One example. This is my husband's favorite
one for reasons that will becomeclear.
Very, very, very shortly. But when when my husband and I
first started dating and he was a new figure in my life, the
(07:23):
first night that he stayed over at my house, my dog was there
and my now husband was there andhe left in the morning.
And Tilda was sort of walking around my room sort of
aimlessly. You know, I didn't understand
why she was walking from spot tospot in my room.
And she'd walk in the closet andshe'd walk in the bathroom.
I just couldn't understand her behavior.
Then she went to her buttons andshe said where danger stranger.
(07:47):
It was a word we used for like something unfamiliar, someone
she doesn't know. We see someone on the street.
I'd go stranger, hi stranger. There's a stranger by stranger.
And so she understood stranger to mean something new, something
she didn't know. So she said where stranger.
And this was maybe like 20 minutes after my husband had
left. And so I felt like it seems like
she was asking where that personwas.
(08:10):
And so I said he went home and then she saw her walk from area
to area in my room, still looking, maybe because home to
her is our home. And then she came back to her
buttons and she said where again, because she wasn't
(08:30):
finding him anywhere. It was one of those things where
I was like, you know, I would truly have no idea what was on
her mind or what she was wondering or why she was doing
what she was doing if not for the buttons.
And I really believe in that moment she was looking for this
strange person who had just beenthere and seemed to have left.
And where did he go? I don't know if she understood
my answer, but at least I I understood what she was looking
(08:51):
for and was able to try to give her an answer.
It's funny because we really just don't give dogs enough
credit for being so aware of their surroundings.
Yeah, it's weird because we do and we don't, right?
There are a lot of people that that just don't believe that
dogs could possibly learn how touse these buttons and don't
believe that the communication is genuine.
(09:12):
But then you have those the samepeople in those same trainers
who understand that sometimes you have to spell out a word
because your dog will hear the word walk and they'll get too
excited. So you have to spell out WALK so
that the dog doesn't get too excited.
We can recognize that dogs understand what words sound like
and what those words correlate to.
Have trainers who will talk about how dogs, they can
(09:34):
remember traumatic experiences. And sometimes you have to train
a dog out of having had a bad experience with something a
couple of times. On the one hand, we understand
that dogs have memories. We understand that dogs have
feelings and anxieties and that dogs understand words and can
act on words. It's it's not a big disconnect
between dogs know words and dogscan use buttons.
(09:57):
It's a very, very short gap between those things in my view.
I completely agree. It's just so strange how a lot
of society puts a cap on that and they're just like, no,
that's not possible, but I can tell you I can fit.
I can't spell certain words anymore now because he's figured
that out too you. Know, and does that mean that he
(10:18):
could spell out his own words? No, it doesn't.
But he knows what the spelling of certain words correlates to
and what that means. And it's kind of the same thing.
I wonder if some of it is if we,if we really accept some of the
implications of dogs being able to talk that dogs have an inner
life, which we already know. We really already know that dogs
have an inner life. And so much of dog training is
(10:38):
based on that inner life and shaping it and changing
associations. But if dogs have that kind of
inner life and they can tell us about it, I think for some
people, it gets harder to treat your dog the way you do because
now they're this rich inner life.
And can I still crate my dog as long as I want to?
Or can I still, like, leave my dog home and not enrich it?
(11:01):
Or, you know, there are a lot. There are so many other
implications to my dog is this sentient creature with a rich
inner life that I think might make some people uncomfortable.
Yeah, that is probably a big, huge part of it.
Once we start to humanize it, for lack of a better term,
people start looking at their pets differently, whether that's
a dog or a cat or even a bird that can talk, right?
(11:22):
Because that is a form of communication and and that is
scary to some people once thingsseem smart or intelligent.
We have to teach them. Different things and we have to
treat them with a different level of respect.
And I, I agree with you, I thinkthat that probably tips the
scale for some people because some people just want to chain
the dog up or leave it in the kennel or not really care about
(11:43):
its feelings. And when they're forced to have
to acknowledge this is a sentient being with feelings and
emotions and thoughts of its own, which lots of people feel
that way. But there's a large proportion
of people out there that that don't understand that or agree
with it. And it's really sad.
Yeah, yeah, I completely agree. And I don't think that's a
reason not to use the buttons ordisparage the use of the
(12:04):
buttons. But I can understand where it
makes people uncomfortable or where it where it could feel
threatening because you do sort of have to rethink your
relationship with your animal when they can start complaining
about your care to you in like avery clear way, you know, that's
definitely a game changer. Do you think there were times
when you misunderstood her or you know you misunderstood her?
(12:27):
And what did that look like and how did you resolve it?
I can think of one time very early in her button training
when she still only had a few buttons and she was a puppy.
I crate trained my dog and so she she slept in a crate at
night. Especially before she was potty
trained, she slept in a crate overnight.
And our routine had been she'd sleep in the crate and then
early in the morning, like 5 or 6:00 AM, she'd wake up kind of
(12:49):
whimpering and I would take her outside to potty.
And then after she potty, we'd cuddle in bed for a little
longer because as much as I would love to be a 5 or 6:00 AM
wake up person, I'm not. I am a sleep in person.
So my dog and I would cuddle in bed after this initial potty
break. This was our life for the first
couple months of her life. And then we introduced the
(13:10):
buttons around 5 months old and and she started getting the hang
of them several weeks or so intothat process.
We did the same thing as we usually do.
It was 6:00 AM. She whimpered.
I let her out of the crate and Istood by the door to my room to
kind of let her go downstairs soshe could have her potty break.
And she just kind of stood therelooking at me, not wanting to go
downstairs. And I was trying to usher her
(13:33):
down, like, OK, let's go, let's go potty, let's go outside.
And instead, one of her words atthe time was outside.
She went over to her button. She didn't push the outside
button. The button she pushed was
cuddles and she just smashed thecuddles button and just stood
there staring at me. And that's when I realized,
like, you know, she doesn't she doesn't actually need to go out
(13:54):
right now. She's not crying because she
wants to go out. She's crying because she wants
that cuddle time after we go outside.
And now's the first time she's been able to tell me.
Mom, I don't actually have to pee at six.
AMI really just would like to cuddle in bed with you.
And so so I said OK, like let's cuddle.
And so then I let her into the bed and we cuddled and she
didn't have to potty until it's time for me to wake up.
(14:16):
So that ended up changing our whole morning routine and go
from that point forward when she'd whimper first thing in the
morning, I knew that she didn't need to go outside.
She wanted to come into bed for morning cuddles.
My gosh, that's an amazing story.
I love that so much. It was so precious.
That's another thing, too, that I think that people don't.
We don't give our dogs a lot of choice, right?
(14:37):
We make all of the decisions forthem.
And I have found watching everybody who does the buttons
online, how much more choice andadvocacy that gives the dog for
themself. And I love it that you changed
your routine to fit what she wanted.
I just think that is so cool. Oh, yeah, thank you.
It wasn't. It was a really neat moment.
There are so many ways that you can give your dog those kinds of
(15:00):
choices in life, even if you're not using buttons.
One of the dogs we're friends with both in real life and on
social media is all for mayor. And I know his mom use a binary
choice system where she's taughtal OK, one hand means yes and
one hand means no. I'm going to ask you yes, no
questions. And you boop the yes hand or you
boop the no hand. And so she's taught him to be
(15:22):
able to make binary choices justwith hand.
He uses buttons too, but when they're away from their buttons,
he's able to have a choice. But just it does kind of put the
animal more at the forefront of how you're caring for it, which
I love being able to do that. I love being able to care for
Tilda in a way that's meaningfulfor Tilda and makes her life
(15:43):
more rich for as long as I have her.
That's beautiful. And how much that enhances the
relationship between you and her.
I just, I think it's so very, very cool.
It's been one, it's been a, it'sbeen an amazing gift to be able
to do this with her. I imagine something that we
started the buttons. I started the buttons with Fitz
because Fitz is very, very smartand he is very, very.
(16:05):
I would say he's commutative in his own way.
Like he doesn't need the buttonsmost of the time.
I know what the heck he's saying.
He's. Very persistent about it.
Yeah. But my other dog, Toby, who's
passed out on my lap right here,he decided that the buttons were
a place to pee. And so several of the buttons.
And so I just finally said we can't do this because I'm
(16:26):
constantly replacing the buttonsand they're they're not cheap.
So. No, they're not.
I just didn't want to keep doingso we didn't get very far.
We got about I think we had about 8 buttons in and he was
doing pretty good job. He would say things like mom
outside or he knew the love you and he would he would hit his
kennel button like if he would see me doing my I'm getting
(16:48):
ready to leave things. I would get my purse and get my
keys, and I would set everythingon the table and he would run to
his buttons and he would say outside kennel and he would know
that that was time to go potty. And he would run outside and go
potty and then he'd go into his kennel.
He knew, he understood. But again, that's like a lot of
repetition, right? And that's a lot of cues of me
saying this is what's happening and allowing him to see and
(17:10):
digest that information at his own pace too.
Yeah. And you know that I think that
really underscores going back tothis point about how small of a
gap it is between the button muse and what we already know
dogs can do. Because I remember working with
Tilda on separation anxiety training.
And one of the things they say is the dogs can tell what, what
(17:30):
your routine is before you're leaving, right?
So they can tell she gets her shoes from that spot and she
moves her keys like this. So what they tell you in
separation anxiety training, right, is like, or at least what
what we did was do some of thosethings, do the things that are
lead ups to you leaving, but don't leave.
So it kind of it helps the dog understand sometimes these
things happen and doesn't have to be scary.
(17:50):
So we already know that's a thing.
There are credible, reputable trainers who are telling you
your dogs can see the lead up toyou leaving and they understand
these gestures and these actionsmean you're about to leave.
So it really is not that far of a gap that that Fitz would see
all that happening. It would process it and then
just would kind of close the loop and say, oh, she must, she
(18:12):
must be about to leave. So the next thing that happens
is I go outside and then after that I go in the kennel.
And we already know they can do all of these things.
It's just that one last step of like pushing the buttons that we
seem to lose people. But that's such a cool story.
He cracks me up. He's such a funny dog and he's
got so much personality. I hope that, you know, later in
life, Toby's a little bit older.He's somewhere between 13 and
(18:34):
15. Fitz is about 7 1/2.
So I'm hoping that maybe later in Fitz's life we'll be able to
rejoin the buttons and, and do those as a thing to communicate
a little bit more between the two of us.
But like I said, Toby just thinks that they smell weird so
he's going to pee on. That amazing smell.
Good. I'm with Toby.
Yeah, it should all. It should all smell great.
(18:55):
I'm not sure that pee smells better than the foam that the
buttons are in, but hey, yeah. That's pretty normative of you
have. Yeah, it's really true and it's
really, it doesn't. Tilda still is very expressive.
She still will her feet and makenoise and gesture when she wants
(19:16):
something. The fact that she has buttons
like she she has another Ave. tocommunicate with me but she uses
all of the tools in her tool belt and I respect all of those
forms of communication too. Till does sitting in the kitchen
staring at her food bowl and pointedly whining at me.
I don't need her to go to her buttons and tell me she's
hungry. I can tell that she is ready for
(19:39):
dinner. She also has a ton of
personality and it's it's been neat to see it come out not just
in her everyday dog life, but also in the way she chooses to
to use buttons to. Communicate what is the funniest
thing that she has ever said to you?
Oh. Gosh, the funniest thing she's
ever said. You know, I think that aside
from, you know, asking where my husband was, which, you know, I
(20:02):
think I will, I will always love.
She seems to complain a lot whenI talk, or at least I I thought
that it was complaining. She might just be observing, but
I play in a weekly Dungeons and Dragons game online and pretty
much without fail as soon as I log on and that video chat
starts, Tilda is over at her button saying SOUND sound.
(20:23):
Sound, which certainly could just be her observing that there
is now a sound. I take it personally as a
complaint about the sound. But that happens almost without
fail. And every once in a while, if
I'm on speakerphone with my mom,she'll say the same thing, which
my mom is gracious enough not totake personally.
That's always fun. There was one time where I had a
(20:45):
really weird Halloween costume on and it was like brightly
colored. There was fringe on it.
It was like a pinata costume, like one of the If you've ever
seen the tipsy elves ads like this pinata costume, you.
Have a tipsy elves snowsuit? Yeah, yeah, exactly.
I think I got it like 80% off after Halloween of some year.
And so I was trying on Halloweencostumes.
(21:06):
I tried this costume on, I was walking around and it Tilda was
just judging me. And I think anyone who's had a
dog can very clearly visualize is the look that your dog gives
you when they are silently judging you.
But because Tilda can use buttons, she can do more than
silently judge me. So she sat there staring at me
(21:26):
in this rainbow fringe Halloweencostume for a little while.
And then she just walked right over to her buttons.
And, you know, without another word, she just said concerned.
And then she walked away, leaving me in shambles.
So yeah, I think that was the life.
Thanks a lot. I know that face that you're
about because I get that face quite frequently from both of my
(21:48):
dogs. So there's a lot of joking
online about your dog looking atyou when they know that you're
putting on normal people clothesto leave the house or whatever.
And by the way, let me jump backto that.
They're called precursor cues. That's what they're called in
the training world. Thank you.
We start putting on like actual clothes because we might be
going somewhere obviously. And our dog is like, Dang it,
(22:12):
she's leaving the house. And then there's people that
make jokes about how their dog is judging them for whatever
they're wearing on their morningwalk or whatever.
I just that's that same look where the dog's like, I don't
know. So I definitely know with that
look. Yes, yes.
And I'm here to tell you that your dog is actually judging
you. That is not in your head.
That's really happening. Love it.
(22:33):
Concerned. That's the perfect word choice
for that. Like right?
Exactly. We're not playing around.
How many words does she have nowShe has.
Just under 80 words now, so right?
Like somewhere between 75 and 80.
What was the hardest word to teach?
Her there are a few that she hasn't really demonstrated
understanding of yet and it's a lot of the time sequence words I
(22:57):
haven't really seen her use. So I think she understands now
and later. So we have buttons for now and
later and we have a button for soon.
So I think that she kind of getsthose.
But we have a then button, whichI thought would get at what you
were describing with Fitz, this idea of like outside panel.
(23:19):
He's he's meaning I'm going to go outside and after outside I'm
going to do kennel going to go in the kennel.
So I thought having a then button would help her
communicate if she want like ideas in sequence, something
then something else. But I haven't really seen her
use that one in a way that suggests any kind of
(23:40):
understanding. She doesn't really use it, even
though I model it verbally. So I'll say car then daycare.
She doesn't. She hasn't adopted that one.
So I think dogs understand that concept, but that hasn't
translated for her into using the button herself.
That's the biggest one. Some of the question words she
uses, where she's used why a couple of times she's used what
(24:03):
gave her a button with just a question inflection.
So just kind of a sound meant togive her the ability to more
clearly ask a question. And that one, she used that one
once actually in a context that I thought was pretty perfect.
But other than that, she's neverupended it to the end of a
question. So the one time she used it was
(24:24):
our first time staying in a motel.
She'd never been in a hotel or motel or anything like that.
And I put her buttons down. We were in this hotel room, she
was sniffing just everywhere. She looked to me to be trying to
process where she was, her surroundings, what was going on.
Then she went over to her buttons and she pushed the
button like just the general question button which fit in
(24:46):
that moment. But she really, she hasn't used
that one since then or with any regularity.
So those are the the two kind ofcategories where I've seen her.
I'm just not really a dump thoseor not really make those her
own. Put simply, time is a construct
that we designed as humans so that we could keep track of
hours and minutes for society reasons, right?
(25:07):
So dogs understand this is when we sleep, this is when we are
awake, this is when we eat, thisis when we play.
Because they're more in tune with the Earth clock, I guess is
what you would call it. They're more in tone with the
sunrise and the sunset and all of the things, but they don't
have that same hurriedness that we as humans feel because of the
(25:28):
clock. You're not the first person that
I've heard mentioned that. And it makes sense to me because
they're more in tune with the natural world, not the human
construct of time. We can't really explain time to
them. Right, that view is.
So I'm really appreciative of that perspective, especially
because from what I understand from like a layman's view, part
(25:48):
of how dogs understand the passage of time is scent
dissipating. For example, I don't know how I
would communicate if her conceptof time in part involves scent.
I have 0 concept of time that involves scent.
The way I think about time is completely divorced from what
I'm smelling around me, so an. Easy way to look at that would
be you give her her food bowl every day at 9:00 AM and 5:00 PM
(26:12):
OK, So she knows in the morning when she gets up at 9:00 PM that
scent has dissipated that certain amount of time till 9:00
and then the same thing until 5:00 PM.
Those are two areas. But how do you teach them to
correlate that with the passing of hours I?
Don't know. I don't know either if anyone
figures it out. If any of your listeners have an
(26:33):
idea, let me know because I could use some let.
Us know, we want to know, yeah, why did you start?
What was the thing that made youwant to do this?
Because I mean, Bunny, the talking dog, like we've all seen
Bunny. She's all over Instagram and
Facebook and everything. And I think that's where kind of
most people know about the talking dog stuff.
But what was it that kind of pushed you into this?
(26:56):
We want to be part of this. Before Tilda was even a sparkle
in my eye, I had read an articleabout Christina Hunger and how
Christina Hunger had figured outthis system for allowing her dog
to communicate. And I remember reading about
Christina and Stella and the waythat the article described how
Stella spoke. I remember just being so taken
(27:19):
with it because it seemed to me like, yeah, if a dog were
suddenly able to speak English, it would have different kind of
syntax and priorities and stuff than we would.
But one of the examples in this article was that Stella saw
something outside. Her attention was very much
drawn to this thing she saw outside and then went over to
her buttons and she said, look, look, look, look, look outside.
(27:40):
Which is just not a way a human would speak, although a human
using assisted communication devices might repeat a word for
emphasis. So this idea of like, gosh, that
is just that truly is a dog being given the ability to
communicate and how amazing thatit can do that and how amazing
to see language through the lensof another species.
(28:01):
Another species is given this tool that maybe isn't native to
it and what does it do with it? I thought that was just so
fascinating. And I remember thinking, if I
ever got a dog, I think I'd try this.
I'd be, I'd want to try and see if see if my dog did it.
And then when I adopted Tilda, Iknew I was going to just give it
a go. And I, I didn't think I'd put a
(28:21):
ton of effort into making her doit or, you know, if it didn't
seem like she took to it on her own quickly, I was not planning
to continue. I just figured I'd give her four
buttons and see how she did. And if she seemed to like it,
then we keep using them. And if she totally ignored them
after a month, then I just put them away and we wouldn't worry
about them. But she took to them right away
(28:43):
and then we just we're kind of off to the races from there.
For all of the listeners now whoare probably wondering where the
heck do I even start with this, what would be your best advice?
I think. The what worked for us at least
is picking some words that were pretty definite.
So word that you as the human have total control over them
happening or not, and words thatmean something definitively and
(29:08):
mean something to your dog. So what I mean by that is when
we first started, I didn't give Tilda a potty button because I
can't control whether she potties or not.
She had an outside button because I can control whether
she goes outside or not. And so all of the buttons that
she had were buttons that were sort of an action item by me.
(29:29):
So outside, I'm going to let heroutside play.
I'm going to wave around that flirt pole that she loves.
I'm going to go give her a hug or hold her in for a cuddle.
So it was all buttons where if Ipushed them, I was taking an
immediate action that impacted her.
Or if she pushed them, I could immediately take that action.
So they were all buttons where she would see the the impact or
(29:53):
the consequence of the button right away.
The button would have an action associated with it.
And they were all words that we had used in daily life.
So that same way, you know, you'd have to spell out WALK
because you, I want your dog to hear because the dog's going to
run into the door. And they were all words I knew
she knew because I'd use those words every day.
Every time we went outside, I'd say outside and we'd go outside.
(30:16):
Every time we played, I'd say the word play and then I'd
reinforce those words and those buttons while we were doing the
thing. So I'd say outside, we'd push
the outside button, we'd go outside.
I would keep saying outside while we were outside.
And that way the dog hears the word in its appropriate context.
Next. And then if we were near the
(30:37):
buttons, like when we were playing, I would say play and
push the play button so that shecould see that this button means
this thing we're doing. This button means play.
The word play is this button. This button means we're going to
play. So the biggest things I'd say
are pick words that are meaningful to your dog, words
that you can do action items foryou so that your, your animal
(31:01):
can see you doing those things. And then it helps that there are
words that your, your animal likes.
So Tilda loves play. That was a very motivating word
to her. She loved being able to have
some control over whether we played or not because she could
push the play button and I wouldplay with her.
So I think those are the biggestthings if you're just starting
out is to try to pick definitivewords.
(31:23):
And I think it helps to have more than one start with two so
that your, your animal understands that each button
does something different. Having two buttons that do
different things I helps them understand that each button is
leads to a different outcome. That makes sense to me, and I
like that you reinforce the wordafter you did the action.
I think that's really helpful. Again, it's a lot about
(31:45):
repetition when we're training dogs, and I actually thought of
something while you were talkingabout this.
You mentioned before that you are away from the buttons
sometimes. How does she deal with that?
How do you communicate to her that she's not going to have the
buttons? And is she OK with?
That I don't have a good way of communicating to her that, that
she won't have the buttons. And I don't know that I've ever
(32:07):
tried to say, you know, you, youwon't have your buttons.
Sometimes I'll bring a travel set of buttons with us, what her
most basic needs might be, and I'll travel with those.
Sometimes what she does when we go somewhere and she doesn't
have buttons is is what she doeswhen we're in that somewhere in
the house where her buttons are not close, where she'll vocalize
(32:27):
and kind of make gestures, give me a meaningful look.
She'll point to things with her snout or she'll bark or make a
noise at whatever it is that she's she's trying to show me.
She uses the other tools in her toolbox to communicate with me
when she doesn't have her buttons, but there are sometimes
where she'll just stand there and stare at me and grunt or
(32:47):
whine and I have no idea what she wants.
And in those moments I think we both must be missing her button.
There's not really nuance to that type of communication and
she can't always get her point across in that way and I can't
always understand it. So there are times I'm sure we
both miss the buttons when we don't have them, I'm sure.
What do you think has been the most convenient and the most
(33:11):
inconvenient thing about having the buttons I?
Think the the most convenient thing has been kind of getting
to have an idea of what it is she wants or needs in a given
moment. So she wants to go for a walk or
go to the park or go to daycare.It's nice that she can ask for
those things and then I can knowlike, okay, you're acting
(33:33):
frustrated. What would help you right now is
a good shoe or what would help you right now is going to sniff
outside. It's nice that she can
communicate her needs to me in that way.
The thing that has been frustrating or like the flip
side is that she can communicateher needs to me in that way.
So, you know, there's sometimes really I can't do anything for
you right now. Like I'm very sorry you're
(33:55):
frustrated. 3 hour deposition. I realize you would like to go
outside. I realize you would like to
play. I cannot help you at all.
There's nothing I can do and you're just going to continue to
tell me you're frustrated, play frustrated.
I'm just going to have to keep hearing you complain about just
this worst day of your life, which is me working to feed you.
(34:17):
So sorry that you are so oppressed, Tilda.
You know, so it's at the flip side is I like knowing what she
wants and needs, but then sometimes it just does.
It can just be a little frustrating for for both of us
when there's nothing I can do about those wants and needs.
At the moment, if Tilda could only have 5 buttons for the rest
(34:37):
of her life, what would they be?She would want, she'd want
either her play button or we nowhave a button specifically for
her flirt pole. So I think she'd she'd want one
of those too, some buttons so that she could ask for her very
favorite toy. She'd probably want her
frustrated button. That's one of the emotions she
most frequently communicates is that she, that she's frustrated.
(34:59):
I think that she would want either a car or a daycare
button, you know, one, one of her buttons that indicate I want
to get out of this house, I wantto go do something.
So, you know, she, she'll ask for car a lot.
She'll ask for daycare. She'll ask for daycare about
once a week or so, which happensto be the frequency with which
we go to daycare is about once aweek.
So if we're kind of dipping intonot going to daycare enough or
(35:22):
if it's been 6 days or 8 days, she'll usually ask for that.
So I think she'd want that kind of button.
I would love to think that she would want the love you button.
She does say that a lot and I love hearing that.
So I would hope that that would be in her top five.
And then I guess maybe along those lines, one of the things
that she's that she does a lot is when I come home from work
(35:45):
and she's always very excited tosee me.
And sometimes if I don't give her enough attention when I come
home, she will go over to her buttons and she'll say, I always
find so charming and I reward with lots of attention.
And that's kind of what high means.
It's a greeting and you say hi and I'm going to give you
attention. Oh, that's been her way lately
of, of pointing out to me that Ihave not greeted her
(36:06):
sufficiently when I've gotten home or that she would like more
attention. So I think she'd probably want
her high button because she's always very excited when I get
home and always, always looking for an extra greeting.
I. Love that.
I think that's a good combinations of buttons.
I imagine that this changes how you see her completely.
This is completely altered. Probably what you will think
(36:28):
about all of your future dogs too.
How would you say that your relationship has evolved with
her because of the buttons? I think a lot more about what
she wants and what she needs. I like to think I'd still think
about those things no matter what because any dog owner
always wants to do the best theycan for their dog and I'm no
(36:49):
different there. I think I'd I'd always be trying
to do that. Just having this window into the
things that she cares the most about really helps me put her
more to the forefront of our relationship.
Flirt Poll is just truly her favorite thing.
That's one of the things she asks for the most, and knowing
(37:10):
how much she cares about that and how much she values our time
spent playing with that toy based on how often she asks for
it, makes me want to play with that toy with her more.
It bores me to tears a little bit.
It's not a very exciting toy really, for a person to play
with, and I have to wave it around constantly.
(37:32):
Can't really do it while I'm seated, so I have to stand up.
But you know, and these are all like little petty complaints.
When I think about how much she loves it, as evidenced by how
much she tells me that she lovesit, I think I appreciate that I
can put the things that she values more to them for friends,
her care, and our relationship and just knowing that she cares
about that kind of thing. I think a lot of people maybe
(37:55):
have had the experience of seeing a pet.
I know dogs do this for sure. Seeing a pet with a big basket
of their toys, dig through the basket for one specific toy,
right? Have you ever had this happen?
They they, they, they are throwing, they're throwing aside
all these other toys that are perfectly good because there's
(38:16):
one specific toy that they know is in the bin and that is the
toy that they want to play with.I think many of us have had that
experience and just kind of getting that insight into my dog
has preferences. My dog has a plan for how the
next 10 minutes are going to go.And that plan is specific down
to which toy she's going to be playing with.
I love that she can bring me into that plan and that I can
(38:37):
help make that happen for her. It's really cool.
Do you think that this is like how things with dogs, a dog by
dog activity, or do you think that this is something that
every single dog can do? I don't know the answer to that
question. Based on kind of the dogs that I
know in my real life. I think every dog probably could
do it. I don't know that every dog
wants to. I know from personal experience
(39:00):
that there are plenty of people in my life who wanted to try
buttons with their with their dog or with their cat and did
everything to the book, did everything to teach the button
use that anybody would suggest that they do.
And for whatever reason their animal just doesn't pick it up.
It doesn't want to or doesn't care or something.
(39:22):
Just as lost in translation, nobody knows and you can feel
frustrating if this is somethingyou were looking forward to
having as a part of your relationship, you know, but I do
think there are some animals that just aren't, aren't
especially interested in using these.
And that's, that's OK too, because we have all of these
other ways that our animals can,can communicate.
With us, I agree with you. We get our dogs and we think
(39:44):
that we're going to do all of these amazing things.
I thought Fitz was going to be ago everywhere with me self
trained service dog and he's reacting active and people
selective. And if he just wasn't the dog
and as heartbreaking as that canbe, there's also something to be
said for, you know, giving them that choice and letting them
decide if they want to participate in a type of play,
(40:06):
if they want to use buttons to talk to us again, individual
unique personality, absolutely try it with your dogs.
But if they're not, they're not interested.
Don't force it then, it's not fun for anybody.
It's just not. Absolutely agree.
No matter what you do, you're going to have an enriching
relationship with your animal. If you're a person who's driven
(40:26):
to add an animal to your life, that animal is going to enrich
your life and you will enrich its life.
Really, no matter what you do, just the process of caring for
it is going to be a blessing. And the buttons are one aspect
of a of a relationship, but theydon't define it.
And if that's not something thatyour animal's interested in,
(40:46):
that's not a negative. It's just like you said, it's
just their personality. It's that's kind of the magical
part of bringing an animal into your life is you take them as
you find them and like, OK, well, you know, you've got your
own personality. And I'm going to learn to love
that personality and we're goingto kind of grow together in this
life. I think one of the criticisms I
see a lot of people who use buttons with their animals is
(41:08):
this idea of them being forced to use the buttons or you're not
listening to them communicate any other way.
I guess there are sometimes where I see videos of people who
are still learning where they'remaybe putting their animals paw
on a button or their animals crying to go outside and like,
we'll push a button. Show me, show me what you want.
Push a button, you know, and I think that the the way we who've
(41:30):
been using the buttons for longer, or you know, what the
what the kind of research shows and trainers who talk about
buttons, how they talk about it is that it shouldn't be forced.
Like you said it is. It's an enhancement if your
animal is interested in doing it, but it shouldn't replace
your dog's other forms of communication, your animals,
other forms of communication. And it shouldn't be something
(41:52):
where you are forcing them to use this.
And and that's the way Tilda picked it up was just so natural
to her. She just got it, You know, I was
like, oh, this is a way for thisis a different way for me to
tell you that I wanna play with that flirt pole.
Great. Like, I'd, I'd love to do that.
Let's play. Let's play with the flirt pole.
And it was just something she clearly enjoyed doing.
And she still does it when she wants to.
(42:14):
She's never forced to push anything.
And yeah, you know, I think thatthat's part of the beauty of
having an animal is, is what is what is this creature going to
be like and what are they going to want?
And how can I, how can I make it's, it's time on this earth as
wonderful for it as possible? We spend our whole lives
discovering who we are, so we should spend their whole lives
(42:35):
discovering who they are. 100% on that.
Yeah. Thank you.
I just, I feel so deeply about discovering who your pet is.
Fitz was really that dog for me that he changed a lot of my
perceptions. I am one of those people.
I had different dogs all my lifeand he was the one that was the
(42:56):
first one that was too smart andhad a lot of personality and a
lot of energy. And I just, I didn't know what
to do with him. And he made me learn a lot about
myself because of that. And so it's changed who I am
with the buttons because like I said, I started doing it and
there is you do have to do some research guys.
You can't just put the buttons on the floor and you're dogs
(43:17):
gonna know what they are. You have to teach them what the
buttons are. You have to teach them how to
press the buttons and you have to teach them where the buttons
are for the right things. And it is.
It's a lot of pattern and repetition and learning things
over and over and over and over again.
It's not something that happens in a short amount of time.
I think we got 8 buttons in three months, which according to
what I read was pretty quick. But yeah, again, Fitz is a very
(43:40):
interactive, likes to be interested in what I'm doing and
especially if it's something we're doing together.
I knew that that happened very quickly for him.
Now, that being said, I tried toteach Toby how to use the
buttons as well, and besides peeing on them, I think he got
one of them the entire time. So there's definitely a learning
curve and there's definitely a drive desire there to
(44:02):
participate in certain activities.
I think that that's really, really, really important.
If you could give one piece of advice when it came to the
buttons, what would it be? I don't know if it's just
because we were just talking about this, but I think you're
just not being attached to an outcome really is important
there. Introduce them, make them an
option and be consistent. If you're going to give it a
try, be very consistent with using and modeling the buttons.
(44:26):
If you're going to try this, that would be the biggest tip
would be consistently push the button before you do the thing
every time. Say the word every time.
Then just kind of leave it up toyour to your animal to see
whether it's going to be something that they want to
integrate into their life. Yeah.
Do you have the by you by any chance?
(44:48):
No, I don't. I want.
No, I'm in a different location.That's OK.
If I'd had them with me, you'd be hearing the sound button go
off every 5 minutes. I figured I was like, I bet
those buttons aren't there, but I'm going to ask her to see if
we have a demonstration. What is her most common phrase
and what is the one that she says occasionally that like
still catches you a little bit off?
(45:09):
Catches me off guard in a good way or a bad way.
Either either way. OK, I think her most frequent
phrase would probably be frustrated stick.
Stick is her word for flirt pole.
And so I think when she's tryingto tell me that she really wants
to play with her stick, she'll often pair it with frustrated.
So frustrated stick is probably one of her most common phrases.
(45:33):
One of the ones that catches me off guard, I think in a good
way, is happy love you. So she has a happy button and
she has the love you button. And interestingly, we we moved
into a new house when my husbandand I moved in together while we
were still dating. We moved into this new house and
it was a bit of it was a difficult transition and for
Tilda, I guess for I guess for me too, but that's a different
(45:55):
podcast. You know, Tilda had a difficult
time adjusting to being in this new house and my my husband had
a dog who may he rest in peace, was a bit of a nightmare that
the dog is now passed away of natural causes.
But he was a spicy old man and he was he probably was like a
little bit demented and it was alittle bit of a challenge to
(46:15):
move my happy go lucky dog in with this, this like literally
demented old man. And part of our kind of journey
and and figuring out that relationship involved getting my
dog on medication for anxiety. And I remember after a couple
weeks of her being on this medication, she hadn't used
(46:37):
positive emotion words and quitesometimes really maybe since we
moved to the house, she had not been using her happy love you
her good. You know, the buttons she has
that indicate positive emotion. She'd been mostly using
frustrated concern, those types of buttons.
And then a couple weeks after she started on the medication,
she said, we love you. And she's been saying happy love
(47:00):
you ever since with some amount of regularity.
And that wasn't those were wordsthat she really hadn't paired
together before she started medication.
And now it's a pretty common phrase for her.
And every time I hear it, it always gets me.
It just always melts my heart that she that she feels that
that she can communicate that every time she says that she's
(47:21):
always looking at me afterwards and expecting some warm sounds
to come out of my mouth as a result of that.
And so I think that's that's theone that really always and
brings me up short that in a good way.
I think that's a really good onetoo.
I think I would love to hear that too.
And what a what a gift for her to be able to communicate that
(47:42):
she was doing better as well. It is hard when you have two
dogs that don't really understand each other and have a
hard time communicating with each other and health issues and
all the things, right. It's like living in a household
with people that are different. It can sometimes be a
communication error, discomfort or argue or whatever and we are
(48:03):
able to say, I don't like that. But often even as people, we
have a hard time doing that. So I can't even imagine how
difficult it must be for for dogs to communicate that
discomfort as well. So what another cool way for you
to be able to give her an outlet.
What you're doing is really, really cool and I can't wait to
continue to learn more from you and learn more about your
(48:26):
adventures. I'm sure we'll probably have you
guys come back again and maybe do a demonstration for us.
Maybe we'll be be able to come and meet you in person and we
could do a demonstration with Tilda and she can show us the
ropes. And I'd love that.
Yeah, I think that would be super fun.
What would you like to leave thelisteners with today?
What I'd most like to leave people with is that this is
(48:47):
something that animals can do. They really can do it and they
are doing it. There are a lot of people that
already know that and feel it and believe it to be true and
and see it. And for those who are skeptical,
all of us have seen those videosof a dog that just curses and
it's like, OK, this dog doesn't know what this curse word means.
(49:08):
We all agree with that. But for those of you that have
skepticism that's based on something other than dogs that
curse using buttons for views, Iguess I would kind of leave you
with this idea that the the gap between what we know and have
confirmed dogs can definitely doand this communicating with
(49:28):
buttons is really not that big. We know that they can form
associations. We know that they can recognize
words. We know that they have desires
and memories. And that next incremental step
of they can use a button to communicate a word that they
already know. It's really not that far of a
(49:49):
leap and they're doing it. They really are doing it.
But they are doing it. And again, a tool is a tool is a
tool. Some dogs can use it, some dogs
can't. And I think that if you have the
opportunity to get the buttons, try the buttons.
Everyone should absolutely at least try because there's no
better gift than finding anotherway to bond with our dogs.
So you guys remember Red Joy, bekind and always keep learning
(50:14):
about your dogs and we will see you guys next week on Straight
Up Dog Talk. This week's episode is proudly
sponsored and brought to you by our good friends over at Pet
Matrix Premium Canine Supplements.
Straight Up Dog Talk is so excited to be partnered with Pet
(50:35):
Matrix. After exhausting several other
pet supplemental brands, I am getting the support and results
I have been searching for. For both Toby and Fitz.
Pet Matrix supports all three pillars of canine Wellness using
their Cell Matrix delivery. It delivers nutrition directly
into the cell. If you're looking for a
supplement that pairs with nature and science, look no
(50:56):
further and get your dog on Pet Matrix today.
This stuff works. Period.
You do have to do some research,guys.
You can't just put the buttons on the floor and your dog's
going to know what they are. You have to teach them what the
buttons are. You have to teach them how to
press the buttons, and you have to teach them where the buttons
are for the right things. It's a lot of pattern and
repetition and learning things over and over and over and over
again. It's not something that happens
in a short amount of time. This week's episode is proudly
(00:30):
sponsored and brought to you by our good friends over at Pet
Matrix Premium Canine Supplements.
Straight Up Dog Talk is so excited to be partnered with Pet
Matrix. After exhausting several other
pet supplemental brands, I am getting the support and results
I have been searching for. For both Toby and Fitz.
Pet Matrix supports all three pillars of canine Wellness using
their Cell Matrix delivery. It delivers nutrition directly
(00:53):
into the cell. If you're looking for a
supplement that pairs with nature and science, look no
further and get your dog on Pet Matrix today.
This stuff works. Period.
Welcome to straight Up Dog Talk,the podcast for real dog people
who want more than filtered advice and surface level tips.
I'm M dog trainer, canine nutritionist, enrichment
specialist, and lifelong advocate for big feeling dogs
(01:16):
and humans doing their best. Each week I sit down with people
who've lived it, studied it, or devoted their lives to helping
dogs and their humans feel more connected.
This basis for honesty, growth and support because because you
and your dog deserve nothing less.
You have probably seen the button Talking dogs online, but
today's guest has actually livedit.
(01:37):
I wanted to bring her on here because this story is so much
deeper than viral trends. It's about connection,
communication, and learning to listen in a whole new way.
So I have to start here. Melissa, do you remember the
first thing that Tilda said withthe buttons and what went
through your mind at that moment?
So I remember the first thing that Tilda said, but then I
(01:59):
remember the first time she actually really made the buttons
her own. And that second time is really
the one that stands out to me. The first thing she said was
play. We started out with just four
buttons and I kind of figured I will just see if she takes to
this and if she doesn't, no big deal.
I'll just go on having a non verbal relationship with my dog.
(02:20):
And she loved, loved, loved thisflirt pole.
It was her absolute favorite toy.
It's like a long PVC tube. There's like a stretchy elastic
thing that comes out of it and then ribbons at the end of the
elastic and you wave it around and the dog chases it.
And puppy Tilda was just absolutely obsessed with this
toy. And so the first time she used
(02:42):
her buttons, it was to hit the play button because that was the
way I illustrated play was I'll swing your favorite toy around.
I'll hit the play button. This means play.
I'm saying the word play. I'm swinging your toy, I'm
pushing the button. And she figured out if I push
that button, then mom's going toplay with this favorite toy with
me. So the first button she pushed
was the play button. And I remember she was thinking
(03:03):
about which button to push. There were four and she went up
to the wrong one and she thoughtabout it, but she didn't push
it. And then she went up to a
different one that was the wrongone.
She thought about it, but she didn't push it.
And then she went over to the play button and she pushed the
play button. And then she waited for me to
wave the toy around. I remember thinking, OK, she
gets it. She gets that these buttons mean
different things. She specifically wants play and
(03:25):
she's pushing the play button, so that was really the first
time she pushed a button on her own.
Then the time where I realized she was making it her own was
maybe 2 weeks later. We'd expanded her board.
She had maybe 1010 words at thispoint and she had some more
feeling words that I added. So I'd added a love you button
(03:45):
because everybody loves hearing their dog say I love you.
And I'd added a tired button andI'd added an all done button and
there may have been one other one in there.
Tilda was running around, she was having crazy zoomies and all
of a sudden she just stopped andshe went over to her buttons and
out of, you know, 10 or 14 buttons, she said all done,
(04:08):
which was 1 button tired. It was a different button.
And then she walked over to a different spot on the floor, and
she just laid down. And she'd stopped running
around. And I'd showed her what all done
meant. And I showed her what tired
meant. But I never paired the two of
them together. And in that moment, Tilda was
all done, and she was tired. And she said all done and tired.
(04:28):
And her actions totally matched the words that she chose, which
she put together on her own. And that was my biggest.
Wow. OK, there's really something to
this. When she finally used them in
context and you realized, what did that feel like for you?
Were you excited? Were you just kind of mind
blown? Were you both?
Yeah, I think it was both. You know, I was, I was mind
(04:51):
blown because, you know, I'd seen the videos.
I believed that there was no doubt in my mind that dogs that
I was seeing on social media videos were genuinely pushing
the buttons and buttons said what they said and that they
learned what the button said. I just wasn't sure that I'd have
a dog that would do that becausenot every dog wants to.
And I wasn't planning to force this on my dog and I don't think
(05:13):
anybody does that. I was mind blown to see her not
only use them, but to show such an understanding of what they
meant. And by that I mean the words
that she chose just exactly matched what was happening, and
they were words that I knew she knew because we'd use them a lot
in contact. It's pretty mind blown to just
(05:34):
see that work in front of my eyes.
And then I was excited for the possibility of what this would
mean for our relationship, that now we could use these buttons
as a tool for her to communicateand tell me how she feels.
And she seemed to enjoy it and Icertainly liked hearing what she
had to say. So it felt, it felt mind blowing
(05:56):
and it felt exciting. It was a very special moment for
sure. At what point after this did you
feel like this was real communication happening between
the two of you? Because obviously picking out a
word here and there is one thing.
But having her speak to you probably more than once,
probably more than a few times, and really feeling like, OK,
(06:16):
yeah, this is her talking to me.She does understand this.
This is beyond, I want to go outside, I want to play, I want
to lay down because I'm tired. This is actually something.
How long do you think that took?I think it, it really felt
pretty solid in that moment. And then over the course of the
several months that followed, just having more and more
occasions like that where what she was saying was just so just
(06:41):
undeniably matching her actions and what was happening in the
moment that just, you know, really solidified for me.
OK, this is for real. Pretty shortly after that all
done tired moment, there's a love you button on her board.
And she pushed the love you button and then ran over to
where I was and started licking me and started looking for
(07:01):
attention. Moments like that.
And there, there are a bunch of times I can think of where it
felt like, wow, this is really Tilda's button use explained
behavior that I otherwise would not have understood.
One example. This is my husband's favorite
one for reasons that will becomeclear.
Very, very, very shortly. But when when my husband and I
first started dating and he was a new figure in my life, the
(07:23):
first night that he stayed over at my house, my dog was there
and my now husband was there andhe left in the morning.
And Tilda was sort of walking around my room sort of
aimlessly. You know, I didn't understand
why she was walking from spot tospot in my room.
And she'd walk in the closet andshe'd walk in the bathroom.
I just couldn't understand her behavior.
Then she went to her buttons andshe said where danger stranger.
(07:47):
It was a word we used for like something unfamiliar, someone
she doesn't know. We see someone on the street.
I'd go stranger, hi stranger. There's a stranger by stranger.
And so she understood stranger to mean something new, something
she didn't know. So she said where stranger.
And this was maybe like 20 minutes after my husband had
left. And so I felt like it seems like
she was asking where that personwas.
(08:10):
And so I said he went home and then she saw her walk from area
to area in my room, still looking, maybe because home to
her is our home. And then she came back to her
buttons and she said where again, because she wasn't
(08:30):
finding him anywhere. It was one of those things where
I was like, you know, I would truly have no idea what was on
her mind or what she was wondering or why she was doing
what she was doing if not for the buttons.
And I really believe in that moment she was looking for this
strange person who had just beenthere and seemed to have left.
And where did he go? I don't know if she understood
my answer, but at least I I understood what she was looking
(08:51):
for and was able to try to give her an answer.
It's funny because we really just don't give dogs enough
credit for being so aware of their surroundings.
Yeah, it's weird because we do and we don't, right?
There are a lot of people that that just don't believe that
dogs could possibly learn how touse these buttons and don't
believe that the communication is genuine.
(09:12):
But then you have those the samepeople in those same trainers
who understand that sometimes you have to spell out a word
because your dog will hear the word walk and they'll get too
excited. So you have to spell out WALK so
that the dog doesn't get too excited.
We can recognize that dogs understand what words sound like
and what those words correlate to.
Have trainers who will talk about how dogs, they can
(09:34):
remember traumatic experiences. And sometimes you have to train
a dog out of having had a bad experience with something a
couple of times. On the one hand, we understand
that dogs have memories. We understand that dogs have
feelings and anxieties and that dogs understand words and can
act on words. It's it's not a big disconnect
between dogs know words and dogscan use buttons.
(09:57):
It's a very, very short gap between those things in my view.
I completely agree. It's just so strange how a lot
of society puts a cap on that and they're just like, no,
that's not possible, but I can tell you I can fit.
I can't spell certain words anymore now because he's figured
that out too you. Know, and does that mean that he
(10:18):
could spell out his own words? No, it doesn't.
But he knows what the spelling of certain words correlates to
and what that means. And it's kind of the same thing.
I wonder if some of it is if we,if we really accept some of the
implications of dogs being able to talk that dogs have an inner
life, which we already know. We really already know that dogs
have an inner life. And so much of dog training is
(10:38):
based on that inner life and shaping it and changing
associations. But if dogs have that kind of
inner life and they can tell us about it, I think for some
people, it gets harder to treat your dog the way you do because
now they're this rich inner life.
And can I still crate my dog as long as I want to?
Or can I still, like, leave my dog home and not enrich it?
(11:01):
Or, you know, there are a lot. There are so many other
implications to my dog is this sentient creature with a rich
inner life that I think might make some people uncomfortable.
Yeah, that is probably a big, huge part of it.
Once we start to humanize it, for lack of a better term,
people start looking at their pets differently, whether that's
a dog or a cat or even a bird that can talk, right?
(11:22):
Because that is a form of communication and and that is
scary to some people once thingsseem smart or intelligent.
We have to teach them. Different things and we have to
treat them with a different level of respect.
And I, I agree with you, I thinkthat that probably tips the
scale for some people because some people just want to chain
the dog up or leave it in the kennel or not really care about
(11:43):
its feelings. And when they're forced to have
to acknowledge this is a sentient being with feelings and
emotions and thoughts of its own, which lots of people feel
that way. But there's a large proportion
of people out there that that don't understand that or agree
with it. And it's really sad.
Yeah, yeah, I completely agree. And I don't think that's a
reason not to use the buttons ordisparage the use of the
(12:04):
buttons. But I can understand where it
makes people uncomfortable or where it where it could feel
threatening because you do sort of have to rethink your
relationship with your animal when they can start complaining
about your care to you in like avery clear way, you know, that's
definitely a game changer. Do you think there were times
when you misunderstood her or you know you misunderstood her?
(12:27):
And what did that look like and how did you resolve it?
I can think of one time very early in her button training
when she still only had a few buttons and she was a puppy.
I crate trained my dog and so she she slept in a crate at
night. Especially before she was potty
trained, she slept in a crate overnight.
And our routine had been she'd sleep in the crate and then
early in the morning, like 5 or 6:00 AM, she'd wake up kind of
(12:49):
whimpering and I would take her outside to potty.
And then after she potty, we'd cuddle in bed for a little
longer because as much as I would love to be a 5 or 6:00 AM
wake up person, I'm not. I am a sleep in person.
So my dog and I would cuddle in bed after this initial potty
break. This was our life for the first
couple months of her life. And then we introduced the
(13:10):
buttons around 5 months old and and she started getting the hang
of them several weeks or so intothat process.
We did the same thing as we usually do.
It was 6:00 AM. She whimpered.
I let her out of the crate and Istood by the door to my room to
kind of let her go downstairs soshe could have her potty break.
And she just kind of stood therelooking at me, not wanting to go
downstairs. And I was trying to usher her
(13:33):
down, like, OK, let's go, let's go potty, let's go outside.
And instead, one of her words atthe time was outside.
She went over to her button. She didn't push the outside
button. The button she pushed was
cuddles and she just smashed thecuddles button and just stood
there staring at me. And that's when I realized,
like, you know, she doesn't she doesn't actually need to go out
(13:54):
right now. She's not crying because she
wants to go out. She's crying because she wants
that cuddle time after we go outside.
And now's the first time she's been able to tell me.
Mom, I don't actually have to pee at six.
AMI really just would like to cuddle in bed with you.
And so so I said OK, like let's cuddle.
And so then I let her into the bed and we cuddled and she
didn't have to potty until it's time for me to wake up.
(14:16):
So that ended up changing our whole morning routine and go
from that point forward when she'd whimper first thing in the
morning, I knew that she didn't need to go outside.
She wanted to come into bed for morning cuddles.
My gosh, that's an amazing story.
I love that so much. It was so precious.
That's another thing, too, that I think that people don't.
We don't give our dogs a lot of choice, right?
(14:37):
We make all of the decisions forthem.
And I have found watching everybody who does the buttons
online, how much more choice andadvocacy that gives the dog for
themself. And I love it that you changed
your routine to fit what she wanted.
I just think that is so cool. Oh, yeah, thank you.
It wasn't. It was a really neat moment.
There are so many ways that you can give your dog those kinds of
(15:00):
choices in life, even if you're not using buttons.
One of the dogs we're friends with both in real life and on
social media is all for mayor. And I know his mom use a binary
choice system where she's taughtal OK, one hand means yes and
one hand means no. I'm going to ask you yes, no
questions. And you boop the yes hand or you
boop the no hand. And so she's taught him to be
(15:22):
able to make binary choices justwith hand.
He uses buttons too, but when they're away from their buttons,
he's able to have a choice. But just it does kind of put the
animal more at the forefront of how you're caring for it, which
I love being able to do that. I love being able to care for
Tilda in a way that's meaningfulfor Tilda and makes her life
(15:43):
more rich for as long as I have her.
That's beautiful. And how much that enhances the
relationship between you and her.
I just, I think it's so very, very cool.
It's been one, it's been a, it'sbeen an amazing gift to be able
to do this with her. I imagine something that we
started the buttons. I started the buttons with Fitz
because Fitz is very, very smartand he is very, very.
(16:05):
I would say he's commutative in his own way.
Like he doesn't need the buttonsmost of the time.
I know what the heck he's saying.
He's. Very persistent about it.
Yeah. But my other dog, Toby, who's
passed out on my lap right here,he decided that the buttons were
a place to pee. And so several of the buttons.
And so I just finally said we can't do this because I'm
(16:26):
constantly replacing the buttonsand they're they're not cheap.
So. No, they're not.
I just didn't want to keep doingso we didn't get very far.
We got about I think we had about 8 buttons in and he was
doing pretty good job. He would say things like mom
outside or he knew the love you and he would he would hit his
kennel button like if he would see me doing my I'm getting
(16:48):
ready to leave things. I would get my purse and get my
keys, and I would set everythingon the table and he would run to
his buttons and he would say outside kennel and he would know
that that was time to go potty. And he would run outside and go
potty and then he'd go into his kennel.
He knew, he understood. But again, that's like a lot of
repetition, right? And that's a lot of cues of me
saying this is what's happening and allowing him to see and
(17:10):
digest that information at his own pace too.
Yeah. And you know that I think that
really underscores going back tothis point about how small of a
gap it is between the button muse and what we already know
dogs can do. Because I remember working with
Tilda on separation anxiety training.
And one of the things they say is the dogs can tell what, what
(17:30):
your routine is before you're leaving, right?
So they can tell she gets her shoes from that spot and she
moves her keys like this. So what they tell you in
separation anxiety training, right, is like, or at least what
what we did was do some of thosethings, do the things that are
lead ups to you leaving, but don't leave.
So it kind of it helps the dog understand sometimes these
things happen and doesn't have to be scary.
(17:50):
So we already know that's a thing.
There are credible, reputable trainers who are telling you
your dogs can see the lead up toyou leaving and they understand
these gestures and these actionsmean you're about to leave.
So it really is not that far of a gap that that Fitz would see
all that happening. It would process it and then
just would kind of close the loop and say, oh, she must, she
(18:12):
must be about to leave. So the next thing that happens
is I go outside and then after that I go in the kennel.
And we already know they can do all of these things.
It's just that one last step of like pushing the buttons that we
seem to lose people. But that's such a cool story.
He cracks me up. He's such a funny dog and he's
got so much personality. I hope that, you know, later in
life, Toby's a little bit older.He's somewhere between 13 and
(18:34):
15. Fitz is about 7 1/2.
So I'm hoping that maybe later in Fitz's life we'll be able to
rejoin the buttons and, and do those as a thing to communicate
a little bit more between the two of us.
But like I said, Toby just thinks that they smell weird so
he's going to pee on. That amazing smell.
Good. I'm with Toby.
Yeah, it should all. It should all smell great.
(18:55):
I'm not sure that pee smells better than the foam that the
buttons are in, but hey, yeah. That's pretty normative of you
have. Yeah, it's really true and it's
really, it doesn't. Tilda still is very expressive.
She still will her feet and makenoise and gesture when she wants
(19:16):
something. The fact that she has buttons
like she she has another Ave. tocommunicate with me but she uses
all of the tools in her tool belt and I respect all of those
forms of communication too. Till does sitting in the kitchen
staring at her food bowl and pointedly whining at me.
I don't need her to go to her buttons and tell me she's
hungry. I can tell that she is ready for
(19:39):
dinner. She also has a ton of
personality and it's it's been neat to see it come out not just
in her everyday dog life, but also in the way she chooses to
to use buttons to. Communicate what is the funniest
thing that she has ever said to you?
Oh. Gosh, the funniest thing she's
ever said. You know, I think that aside
from, you know, asking where my husband was, which, you know, I
(20:02):
think I will, I will always love.
She seems to complain a lot whenI talk, or at least I I thought
that it was complaining. She might just be observing, but
I play in a weekly Dungeons and Dragons game online and pretty
much without fail as soon as I log on and that video chat
starts, Tilda is over at her button saying SOUND sound.
(20:23):
Sound, which certainly could just be her observing that there
is now a sound. I take it personally as a
complaint about the sound. But that happens almost without
fail. And every once in a while, if
I'm on speakerphone with my mom,she'll say the same thing, which
my mom is gracious enough not totake personally.
That's always fun. There was one time where I had a
(20:45):
really weird Halloween costume on and it was like brightly
colored. There was fringe on it.
It was like a pinata costume, like one of the If you've ever
seen the tipsy elves ads like this pinata costume, you.
Have a tipsy elves snowsuit? Yeah, yeah, exactly.
I think I got it like 80% off after Halloween of some year.
And so I was trying on Halloweencostumes.
(21:06):
I tried this costume on, I was walking around and it Tilda was
just judging me. And I think anyone who's had a
dog can very clearly visualize is the look that your dog gives
you when they are silently judging you.
But because Tilda can use buttons, she can do more than
silently judge me. So she sat there staring at me
(21:26):
in this rainbow fringe Halloweencostume for a little while.
And then she just walked right over to her buttons.
And, you know, without another word, she just said concerned.
And then she walked away, leaving me in shambles.
So yeah, I think that was the life.
Thanks a lot. I know that face that you're
about because I get that face quite frequently from both of my
(21:48):
dogs. So there's a lot of joking
online about your dog looking atyou when they know that you're
putting on normal people clothesto leave the house or whatever.
And by the way, let me jump backto that.
They're called precursor cues. That's what they're called in
the training world. Thank you.
We start putting on like actual clothes because we might be
going somewhere obviously. And our dog is like, Dang it,
(22:12):
she's leaving the house. And then there's people that
make jokes about how their dog is judging them for whatever
they're wearing on their morningwalk or whatever.
I just that's that same look where the dog's like, I don't
know. So I definitely know with that
look. Yes, yes.
And I'm here to tell you that your dog is actually judging
you. That is not in your head.
That's really happening. Love it.
(22:33):
Concerned. That's the perfect word choice
for that. Like right?
Exactly. We're not playing around.
How many words does she have nowShe has.
Just under 80 words now, so right?
Like somewhere between 75 and 80.
What was the hardest word to teach?
Her there are a few that she hasn't really demonstrated
understanding of yet and it's a lot of the time sequence words I
(22:57):
haven't really seen her use. So I think she understands now
and later. So we have buttons for now and
later and we have a button for soon.
So I think that she kind of getsthose.
But we have a then button, whichI thought would get at what you
were describing with Fitz, this idea of like outside panel.
(23:19):
He's he's meaning I'm going to go outside and after outside I'm
going to do kennel going to go in the kennel.
So I thought having a then button would help her
communicate if she want like ideas in sequence, something
then something else. But I haven't really seen her
use that one in a way that suggests any kind of
(23:40):
understanding. She doesn't really use it, even
though I model it verbally. So I'll say car then daycare.
She doesn't. She hasn't adopted that one.
So I think dogs understand that concept, but that hasn't
translated for her into using the button herself.
That's the biggest one. Some of the question words she
uses, where she's used why a couple of times she's used what
(24:03):
gave her a button with just a question inflection.
So just kind of a sound meant togive her the ability to more
clearly ask a question. And that one, she used that one
once actually in a context that I thought was pretty perfect.
But other than that, she's neverupended it to the end of a
question. So the one time she used it was
(24:24):
our first time staying in a motel.
She'd never been in a hotel or motel or anything like that.
And I put her buttons down. We were in this hotel room, she
was sniffing just everywhere. She looked to me to be trying to
process where she was, her surroundings, what was going on.
Then she went over to her buttons and she pushed the
button like just the general question button which fit in
(24:46):
that moment. But she really, she hasn't used
that one since then or with any regularity.
So those are the the two kind ofcategories where I've seen her.
I'm just not really a dump thoseor not really make those her
own. Put simply, time is a construct
that we designed as humans so that we could keep track of
hours and minutes for society reasons, right?
(25:07):
So dogs understand this is when we sleep, this is when we are
awake, this is when we eat, thisis when we play.
Because they're more in tune with the Earth clock, I guess is
what you would call it. They're more in tone with the
sunrise and the sunset and all of the things, but they don't
have that same hurriedness that we as humans feel because of the
(25:28):
clock. You're not the first person that
I've heard mentioned that. And it makes sense to me because
they're more in tune with the natural world, not the human
construct of time. We can't really explain time to
them. Right, that view is.
So I'm really appreciative of that perspective, especially
because from what I understand from like a layman's view, part
(25:48):
of how dogs understand the passage of time is scent
dissipating. For example, I don't know how I
would communicate if her conceptof time in part involves scent.
I have 0 concept of time that involves scent.
The way I think about time is completely divorced from what
I'm smelling around me, so an. Easy way to look at that would
be you give her her food bowl every day at 9:00 AM and 5:00 PM
(26:12):
OK, So she knows in the morning when she gets up at 9:00 PM that
scent has dissipated that certain amount of time till 9:00
and then the same thing until 5:00 PM.
Those are two areas. But how do you teach them to
correlate that with the passing of hours I?
Don't know. I don't know either if anyone
figures it out. If any of your listeners have an
(26:33):
idea, let me know because I could use some let.
Us know, we want to know, yeah, why did you start?
What was the thing that made youwant to do this?
Because I mean, Bunny, the talking dog, like we've all seen
Bunny. She's all over Instagram and
Facebook and everything. And I think that's where kind of
most people know about the talking dog stuff.
But what was it that kind of pushed you into this?
(26:56):
We want to be part of this. Before Tilda was even a sparkle
in my eye, I had read an articleabout Christina Hunger and how
Christina Hunger had figured outthis system for allowing her dog
to communicate. And I remember reading about
Christina and Stella and the waythat the article described how
Stella spoke. I remember just being so taken
(27:19):
with it because it seemed to me like, yeah, if a dog were
suddenly able to speak English, it would have different kind of
syntax and priorities and stuff than we would.
But one of the examples in this article was that Stella saw
something outside. Her attention was very much
drawn to this thing she saw outside and then went over to
her buttons and she said, look, look, look, look, look outside.
(27:40):
Which is just not a way a human would speak, although a human
using assisted communication devices might repeat a word for
emphasis. So this idea of like, gosh, that
is just that truly is a dog being given the ability to
communicate and how amazing thatit can do that and how amazing
to see language through the lensof another species.
(28:01):
Another species is given this tool that maybe isn't native to
it and what does it do with it? I thought that was just so
fascinating. And I remember thinking, if I
ever got a dog, I think I'd try this.
I'd be, I'd want to try and see if see if my dog did it.
And then when I adopted Tilda, Iknew I was going to just give it
a go. And I, I didn't think I'd put a
(28:21):
ton of effort into making her doit or, you know, if it didn't
seem like she took to it on her own quickly, I was not planning
to continue. I just figured I'd give her four
buttons and see how she did. And if she seemed to like it,
then we keep using them. And if she totally ignored them
after a month, then I just put them away and we wouldn't worry
about them. But she took to them right away
(28:43):
and then we just we're kind of off to the races from there.
For all of the listeners now whoare probably wondering where the
heck do I even start with this, what would be your best advice?
I think. The what worked for us at least
is picking some words that were pretty definite.
So word that you as the human have total control over them
happening or not, and words thatmean something definitively and
(29:08):
mean something to your dog. So what I mean by that is when
we first started, I didn't give Tilda a potty button because I
can't control whether she potties or not.
She had an outside button because I can control whether
she goes outside or not. And so all of the buttons that
she had were buttons that were sort of an action item by me.
(29:29):
So outside, I'm going to let heroutside play.
I'm going to wave around that flirt pole that she loves.
I'm going to go give her a hug or hold her in for a cuddle.
So it was all buttons where if Ipushed them, I was taking an
immediate action that impacted her.
Or if she pushed them, I could immediately take that action.
So they were all buttons where she would see the the impact or
(29:53):
the consequence of the button right away.
The button would have an action associated with it.
And they were all words that we had used in daily life.
So that same way, you know, you'd have to spell out WALK
because you, I want your dog to hear because the dog's going to
run into the door. And they were all words I knew
she knew because I'd use those words every day.
Every time we went outside, I'd say outside and we'd go outside.
(30:16):
Every time we played, I'd say the word play and then I'd
reinforce those words and those buttons while we were doing the
thing. So I'd say outside, we'd push
the outside button, we'd go outside.
I would keep saying outside while we were outside.
And that way the dog hears the word in its appropriate context.
Next. And then if we were near the
(30:37):
buttons, like when we were playing, I would say play and
push the play button so that shecould see that this button means
this thing we're doing. This button means play.
The word play is this button. This button means we're going to
play. So the biggest things I'd say
are pick words that are meaningful to your dog, words
that you can do action items foryou so that your, your animal
(31:01):
can see you doing those things. And then it helps that there are
words that your, your animal likes.
So Tilda loves play. That was a very motivating word
to her. She loved being able to have
some control over whether we played or not because she could
push the play button and I wouldplay with her.
So I think those are the biggestthings if you're just starting
out is to try to pick definitivewords.
(31:23):
And I think it helps to have more than one start with two so
that your, your animal understands that each button
does something different. Having two buttons that do
different things I helps them understand that each button is
leads to a different outcome. That makes sense to me, and I
like that you reinforce the wordafter you did the action.
I think that's really helpful. Again, it's a lot about
(31:45):
repetition when we're training dogs, and I actually thought of
something while you were talkingabout this.
You mentioned before that you are away from the buttons
sometimes. How does she deal with that?
How do you communicate to her that she's not going to have the
buttons? And is she OK with?
That I don't have a good way of communicating to her that, that
she won't have the buttons. And I don't know that I've ever
(32:07):
tried to say, you know, you, youwon't have your buttons.
Sometimes I'll bring a travel set of buttons with us, what her
most basic needs might be, and I'll travel with those.
Sometimes what she does when we go somewhere and she doesn't
have buttons is is what she doeswhen we're in that somewhere in
the house where her buttons are not close, where she'll vocalize
(32:27):
and kind of make gestures, give me a meaningful look.
She'll point to things with her snout or she'll bark or make a
noise at whatever it is that she's she's trying to show me.
She uses the other tools in her toolbox to communicate with me
when she doesn't have her buttons, but there are sometimes
where she'll just stand there and stare at me and grunt or
(32:47):
whine and I have no idea what she wants.
And in those moments I think we both must be missing her button.
There's not really nuance to that type of communication and
she can't always get her point across in that way and I can't
always understand it. So there are times I'm sure we
both miss the buttons when we don't have them, I'm sure.
What do you think has been the most convenient and the most
(33:11):
inconvenient thing about having the buttons I?
Think the the most convenient thing has been kind of getting
to have an idea of what it is she wants or needs in a given
moment. So she wants to go for a walk or
go to the park or go to daycare.It's nice that she can ask for
those things and then I can knowlike, okay, you're acting
(33:33):
frustrated. What would help you right now is
a good shoe or what would help you right now is going to sniff
outside. It's nice that she can
communicate her needs to me in that way.
The thing that has been frustrating or like the flip
side is that she can communicateher needs to me in that way.
So, you know, there's sometimes really I can't do anything for
you right now. Like I'm very sorry you're
(33:55):
frustrated. 3 hour deposition. I realize you would like to go
outside. I realize you would like to
play. I cannot help you at all.
There's nothing I can do and you're just going to continue to
tell me you're frustrated, play frustrated.
I'm just going to have to keep hearing you complain about just
this worst day of your life, which is me working to feed you.
(34:17):
So sorry that you are so oppressed, Tilda.
You know, so it's at the flip side is I like knowing what she
wants and needs, but then sometimes it just does.
It can just be a little frustrating for for both of us
when there's nothing I can do about those wants and needs.
At the moment, if Tilda could only have 5 buttons for the rest
(34:37):
of her life, what would they be?She would want, she'd want
either her play button or we nowhave a button specifically for
her flirt pole. So I think she'd she'd want one
of those too, some buttons so that she could ask for her very
favorite toy. She'd probably want her
frustrated button. That's one of the emotions she
most frequently communicates is that she, that she's frustrated.
(34:59):
I think that she would want either a car or a daycare
button, you know, one, one of her buttons that indicate I want
to get out of this house, I wantto go do something.
So, you know, she, she'll ask for car a lot.
She'll ask for daycare. She'll ask for daycare about
once a week or so, which happensto be the frequency with which
we go to daycare is about once aweek.
So if we're kind of dipping intonot going to daycare enough or
(35:22):
if it's been 6 days or 8 days, she'll usually ask for that.
So I think she'd want that kind of button.
I would love to think that she would want the love you button.
She does say that a lot and I love hearing that.
So I would hope that that would be in her top five.
And then I guess maybe along those lines, one of the things
that she's that she does a lot is when I come home from work
(35:45):
and she's always very excited tosee me.
And sometimes if I don't give her enough attention when I come
home, she will go over to her buttons and she'll say, I always
find so charming and I reward with lots of attention.
And that's kind of what high means.
It's a greeting and you say hi and I'm going to give you
attention. Oh, that's been her way lately
of, of pointing out to me that Ihave not greeted her
(36:06):
sufficiently when I've gotten home or that she would like more
attention. So I think she'd probably want
her high button because she's always very excited when I get
home and always, always looking for an extra greeting.
I. Love that.
I think that's a good combinations of buttons.
I imagine that this changes how you see her completely.
This is completely altered. Probably what you will think
(36:28):
about all of your future dogs too.
How would you say that your relationship has evolved with
her because of the buttons? I think a lot more about what
she wants and what she needs. I like to think I'd still think
about those things no matter what because any dog owner
always wants to do the best theycan for their dog and I'm no
(36:49):
different there. I think I'd I'd always be trying
to do that. Just having this window into the
things that she cares the most about really helps me put her
more to the forefront of our relationship.
Flirt Poll is just truly her favorite thing.
That's one of the things she asks for the most, and knowing
(37:10):
how much she cares about that and how much she values our time
spent playing with that toy based on how often she asks for
it, makes me want to play with that toy with her more.
It bores me to tears a little bit.
It's not a very exciting toy really, for a person to play
with, and I have to wave it around constantly.
(37:32):
Can't really do it while I'm seated, so I have to stand up.
But you know, and these are all like little petty complaints.
When I think about how much she loves it, as evidenced by how
much she tells me that she lovesit, I think I appreciate that I
can put the things that she values more to them for friends,
her care, and our relationship and just knowing that she cares
about that kind of thing. I think a lot of people maybe
(37:55):
have had the experience of seeing a pet.
I know dogs do this for sure. Seeing a pet with a big basket
of their toys, dig through the basket for one specific toy,
right? Have you ever had this happen?
They they, they, they are throwing, they're throwing aside
all these other toys that are perfectly good because there's
(38:16):
one specific toy that they know is in the bin and that is the
toy that they want to play with.I think many of us have had that
experience and just kind of getting that insight into my dog
has preferences. My dog has a plan for how the
next 10 minutes are going to go.And that plan is specific down
to which toy she's going to be playing with.
I love that she can bring me into that plan and that I can
(38:37):
help make that happen for her. It's really cool.
Do you think that this is like how things with dogs, a dog by
dog activity, or do you think that this is something that
every single dog can do? I don't know the answer to that
question. Based on kind of the dogs that I
know in my real life. I think every dog probably could
do it. I don't know that every dog
wants to. I know from personal experience
(39:00):
that there are plenty of people in my life who wanted to try
buttons with their with their dog or with their cat and did
everything to the book, did everything to teach the button
use that anybody would suggest that they do.
And for whatever reason their animal just doesn't pick it up.
It doesn't want to or doesn't care or something.
(39:22):
Just as lost in translation, nobody knows and you can feel
frustrating if this is somethingyou were looking forward to
having as a part of your relationship, you know, but I do
think there are some animals that just aren't, aren't
especially interested in using these.
And that's, that's OK too, because we have all of these
other ways that our animals can,can communicate.
With us, I agree with you. We get our dogs and we think
(39:44):
that we're going to do all of these amazing things.
I thought Fitz was going to be ago everywhere with me self
trained service dog and he's reacting active and people
selective. And if he just wasn't the dog
and as heartbreaking as that canbe, there's also something to be
said for, you know, giving them that choice and letting them
decide if they want to participate in a type of play,
(40:06):
if they want to use buttons to talk to us again, individual
unique personality, absolutely try it with your dogs.
But if they're not, they're not interested.
Don't force it then, it's not fun for anybody.
It's just not. Absolutely agree.
No matter what you do, you're going to have an enriching
relationship with your animal. If you're a person who's driven
(40:26):
to add an animal to your life, that animal is going to enrich
your life and you will enrich its life.
Really, no matter what you do, just the process of caring for
it is going to be a blessing. And the buttons are one aspect
of a of a relationship, but theydon't define it.
And if that's not something thatyour animal's interested in,
(40:46):
that's not a negative. It's just like you said, it's
just their personality. It's that's kind of the magical
part of bringing an animal into your life is you take them as
you find them and like, OK, well, you know, you've got your
own personality. And I'm going to learn to love
that personality and we're goingto kind of grow together in this
life. I think one of the criticisms I
see a lot of people who use buttons with their animals is
(41:08):
this idea of them being forced to use the buttons or you're not
listening to them communicate any other way.
I guess there are sometimes where I see videos of people who
are still learning where they'remaybe putting their animals paw
on a button or their animals crying to go outside and like,
we'll push a button. Show me, show me what you want.
Push a button, you know, and I think that the the way we who've
(41:30):
been using the buttons for longer, or you know, what the
what the kind of research shows and trainers who talk about
buttons, how they talk about it is that it shouldn't be forced.
Like you said it is. It's an enhancement if your
animal is interested in doing it, but it shouldn't replace
your dog's other forms of communication, your animals,
other forms of communication. And it shouldn't be something
(41:52):
where you are forcing them to use this.
And and that's the way Tilda picked it up was just so natural
to her. She just got it, You know, I was
like, oh, this is a way for thisis a different way for me to
tell you that I wanna play with that flirt pole.
Great. Like, I'd, I'd love to do that.
Let's play. Let's play with the flirt pole.
And it was just something she clearly enjoyed doing.
And she still does it when she wants to.
(42:14):
She's never forced to push anything.
And yeah, you know, I think thatthat's part of the beauty of
having an animal is, is what is what is this creature going to
be like and what are they going to want?
And how can I, how can I make it's, it's time on this earth as
wonderful for it as possible? We spend our whole lives
discovering who we are, so we should spend their whole lives
(42:35):
discovering who they are. 100% on that.
Yeah. Thank you.
I just, I feel so deeply about discovering who your pet is.
Fitz was really that dog for me that he changed a lot of my
perceptions. I am one of those people.
I had different dogs all my lifeand he was the one that was the
(42:56):
first one that was too smart andhad a lot of personality and a
lot of energy. And I just, I didn't know what
to do with him. And he made me learn a lot about
myself because of that. And so it's changed who I am
with the buttons because like I said, I started doing it and
there is you do have to do some research guys.
You can't just put the buttons on the floor and you're dogs
(43:17):
gonna know what they are. You have to teach them what the
buttons are. You have to teach them how to
press the buttons and you have to teach them where the buttons
are for the right things. And it is.
It's a lot of pattern and repetition and learning things
over and over and over and over again.
It's not something that happens in a short amount of time.
I think we got 8 buttons in three months, which according to
what I read was pretty quick. But yeah, again, Fitz is a very
(43:40):
interactive, likes to be interested in what I'm doing and
especially if it's something we're doing together.
I knew that that happened very quickly for him.
Now, that being said, I tried toteach Toby how to use the
buttons as well, and besides peeing on them, I think he got
one of them the entire time. So there's definitely a learning
curve and there's definitely a drive desire there to
(44:02):
participate in certain activities.
I think that that's really, really, really important.
If you could give one piece of advice when it came to the
buttons, what would it be? I don't know if it's just
because we were just talking about this, but I think you're
just not being attached to an outcome really is important
there. Introduce them, make them an
option and be consistent. If you're going to give it a
try, be very consistent with using and modeling the buttons.
(44:26):
If you're going to try this, that would be the biggest tip
would be consistently push the button before you do the thing
every time. Say the word every time.
Then just kind of leave it up toyour to your animal to see
whether it's going to be something that they want to
integrate into their life. Yeah.
Do you have the by you by any chance?
(44:48):
No, I don't. I want.
No, I'm in a different location.That's OK.
If I'd had them with me, you'd be hearing the sound button go
off every 5 minutes. I figured I was like, I bet
those buttons aren't there, but I'm going to ask her to see if
we have a demonstration. What is her most common phrase
and what is the one that she says occasionally that like
still catches you a little bit off?
(45:09):
Catches me off guard in a good way or a bad way.
Either either way. OK, I think her most frequent
phrase would probably be frustrated stick.
Stick is her word for flirt pole.
And so I think when she's tryingto tell me that she really wants
to play with her stick, she'll often pair it with frustrated.
So frustrated stick is probably one of her most common phrases.
(45:33):
One of the ones that catches me off guard, I think in a good
way, is happy love you. So she has a happy button and
she has the love you button. And interestingly, we we moved
into a new house when my husbandand I moved in together while we
were still dating. We moved into this new house and
it was a bit of it was a difficult transition and for
Tilda, I guess for I guess for me too, but that's a different
(45:55):
podcast. You know, Tilda had a difficult
time adjusting to being in this new house and my my husband had
a dog who may he rest in peace, was a bit of a nightmare that
the dog is now passed away of natural causes.
But he was a spicy old man and he was he probably was like a
little bit demented and it was alittle bit of a challenge to
(46:15):
move my happy go lucky dog in with this, this like literally
demented old man. And part of our kind of journey
and and figuring out that relationship involved getting my
dog on medication for anxiety. And I remember after a couple
weeks of her being on this medication, she hadn't used
(46:37):
positive emotion words and quitesometimes really maybe since we
moved to the house, she had not been using her happy love you
her good. You know, the buttons she has
that indicate positive emotion. She'd been mostly using
frustrated concern, those types of buttons.
And then a couple weeks after she started on the medication,
she said, we love you. And she's been saying happy love
(47:00):
you ever since with some amount of regularity.
And that wasn't those were wordsthat she really hadn't paired
together before she started medication.
And now it's a pretty common phrase for her.
And every time I hear it, it always gets me.
It just always melts my heart that she that she feels that
that she can communicate that every time she says that she's
(47:21):
always looking at me afterwards and expecting some warm sounds
to come out of my mouth as a result of that.
And so I think that's that's theone that really always and
brings me up short that in a good way.
I think that's a really good onetoo.
I think I would love to hear that too.
And what a what a gift for her to be able to communicate that
(47:42):
she was doing better as well. It is hard when you have two
dogs that don't really understand each other and have a
hard time communicating with each other and health issues and
all the things, right. It's like living in a household
with people that are different. It can sometimes be a
communication error, discomfort or argue or whatever and we are
(48:03):
able to say, I don't like that. But often even as people, we
have a hard time doing that. So I can't even imagine how
difficult it must be for for dogs to communicate that
discomfort as well. So what another cool way for you
to be able to give her an outlet.
What you're doing is really, really cool and I can't wait to
continue to learn more from you and learn more about your
(48:26):
adventures. I'm sure we'll probably have you
guys come back again and maybe do a demonstration for us.
Maybe we'll be be able to come and meet you in person and we
could do a demonstration with Tilda and she can show us the
ropes. And I'd love that.
Yeah, I think that would be super fun.
What would you like to leave thelisteners with today?
What I'd most like to leave people with is that this is
(48:47):
something that animals can do. They really can do it and they
are doing it. There are a lot of people that
already know that and feel it and believe it to be true and
and see it. And for those who are skeptical,
all of us have seen those videosof a dog that just curses and
it's like, OK, this dog doesn't know what this curse word means.
(49:08):
We all agree with that. But for those of you that have
skepticism that's based on something other than dogs that
curse using buttons for views, Iguess I would kind of leave you
with this idea that the the gap between what we know and have
confirmed dogs can definitely doand this communicating with
(49:28):
buttons is really not that big. We know that they can form
associations. We know that they can recognize
words. We know that they have desires
and memories. And that next incremental step
of they can use a button to communicate a word that they
already know. It's really not that far of a
(49:49):
leap and they're doing it. They really are doing it.
But they are doing it. And again, a tool is a tool is a
tool. Some dogs can use it, some dogs
can't. And I think that if you have the
opportunity to get the buttons, try the buttons.
Everyone should absolutely at least try because there's no
better gift than finding anotherway to bond with our dogs.
So you guys remember Red Joy, bekind and always keep learning
(50:14):
about your dogs and we will see you guys next week on Straight
Up Dog Talk. This week's episode is proudly
sponsored and brought to you by our good friends over at Pet
Matrix Premium Canine Supplements.
Straight Up Dog Talk is so excited to be partnered with Pet
(50:35):
Matrix. After exhausting several other
pet supplemental brands, I am getting the support and results
I have been searching for. For both Toby and Fitz.
Pet Matrix supports all three pillars of canine Wellness using
their Cell Matrix delivery. It delivers nutrition directly
into the cell. If you're looking for a
supplement that pairs with nature and science, look no
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