Episode 26 - Regret and "Shoulds"

In this episode, we explore regrets and “shoulds”. We consider in what ways they’re related, how they hold us back, and what perspectives might help us to live our lives more on our own terms. Robyn organizes her closet and Michelle goes to the movies.

Recorded on July 14th, 2024

Timestamps:

(0:28) Intro (0:50) Robyn’s win, challenge, and fun/interesting thing from the last two weeks (2:34) Michelle’s win, challenge, and fun/interesting thing from the last two weeks (8:12) SPOILER WARNING for A Quiet Place: Day One (12:01) End of spoilers (18:51) Main topic: regret and “shoulds” (1:23:48) Michelle’s plans for the next couple of weeks (1:24:53) Robyn’s plans for the next couple of weeks (1:28:49) Outro

Resources, references, and further exploration:

Show - Little Bird: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt22750834/

Video - Unpopular Opinion: Nothing in Life is a Waste of Time - How to ADHD: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=662g7IjfY9s&t=347s

Video - Using Lifestyle-Centric Career Planning to Pursue a Life You Love - Cal Newport: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TpSlr5TYAEw

Video - Mel Robbins: 5 Second Rule: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nI2VQ-ZsNr0

Podcast - Episode 23 - Setting Up Your Creative Environment - Stream of Art Podcast: https://streamofartpodcast.podbean.com/e/episode-23-setting-up-your-creative-environment/

Books mentioned:

We Are the Luckiest by Laura McKowen: https://www.lauramckowen.com/books

The Midnight Library by Matt Haig: http://www.matthaig.com/books/midnight-library/

Courage is Calling by Ryan Holiday: https://www.courageiscalling.com/

Range by David Epstein: https://davidepstein.com/range/

Clear Thinking by Shane Parrish: https://fs.blog/clear/

So Good They Can’t Ignore You by Cal Newport: https://calnewport.com/writing/ (scroll down the page)

The Practice of Groundedness by Brad Stulberg: https://www.bradstulberg.com/books (scroll down the page)

The 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins: https://www.melrobbins.com/5secondrule

Quotes, ideas, and insights:

Amor Fati - The love of fate: https://dailystoic.com/amor-fati/

“What man can you give me who puts any value on time, who counts a day, who understands that he dies daily? This is our big mistake: to think we look forward to death. Most of death is already gone. Whatever time has passed is owned by death.” - Seneca - Sources: https://dailystoic.com/letters-from-a-stoic/?utm_source=convertkit&utm_medium=convertkit&utm_campaign=dying-every-day https://dailystoic.com/you-are-dying-every-day/

“One way to see Nightingale’s story is that she spent years ignoring her call to service. The other is that she was preparing herself for the mission of her life. It took time for her to see through the smoke and noise of the family and society that attempted to discourage her from doing what needed to be done. It took time for her to acquire the skills she needs to transform nursing.” - Ryan Holiday, Courage is Calling, page 10

“The satisfactions of manifesting oneself concretely in the world through manual competence have been known to make a man quiet and easy.” - Matthew B. Crawford, Shop Class as Soulcraft

“Stop shoulding yourself. Shift from an internal dialogue of I shouldn’t be in this situation to I wish I wasn’t in this situation; from I should be going about this differently to I want to be going about this differently. Language shapes reality, and these subtle shifts go a long way toward eliminating guilt, shame, and judgment and fostering self-compassion instead. When you catch yourself shoulding, try using another word and see what happens.” - Brad Stulberg, The Practice of Groundedness, pages 49-50

Links:

Learn more about Robyn at https://www.robynlester.com/ Learn more about Michelle at https://ww