June 27, 2024 • 65 mins
KEXP, known for its eclectic and innovative music programming, has long been a staple for audiophiles in Seattle and, thanks to the marvels of technology, way beyond. With its recent expansion into the Bay Area on 92.7 FM, its reach and influence continue to grow, introducing a new demographic to its unique blend of sounds. Among the voices that have become synonymous with KEXP's vibrant culture is Evie Stokes, whose presence on the airwaves has captivated listeners with insightful commentary and eclectic music selections. Her voice, a comforting constant for many, especially resonates during some of those solitary moments we may find ourselves in a car, transforming mundane commutes into immersive musical journeys.
In this episode, Evie Stokes joins us in the Surprise Cast studio to share her journey from a Seattle native music lover to a beloved KEXP DJ. Evie opens up about her childhood in Bellevue, the impact of her parents' divorce ("it was a hard time in my life"), and how these experiences shaped her life and career. Listeners will gain insight into her struggles with addiction ("I was in a tailspin") and the pivotal moments that led her to sobriety, revealing a profound story of resilience and recovery. Evie emphasizes the importance of mentorship and support systems, shedding light on how friends and family played crucial roles in her journey toward a healthier life.
Evie's passion for music is evident as she discusses her work at KEXP, where she curates sublime playlists and connects with a global community of listeners. She shares her rituals and the adrenaline-fueled experience of live DJing, providing a behind-the-scenes look at what it takes to be a successful radio host. Evie also talks about the significance of public radio and independent music, urging listeners to support these vital cultural institutions.
The episode is not just about Evie's professional life but also delves into her personal growth and how her past experiences have made her a better mother ("I think becoming a parent released a lot of resentment...") and a more compassionate individual. The conversation is a testament to the power of vulnerability and the importance of sharing one's story to inspire others.
Tune in to hear Evie Stokes' incredible journey, her love for music, and her dedication to creating meaningful connections through the airwaves. Whether you're a long-time fan of KEXP or new to the station, this episode offers a rich tapestry of personal anecdotes, professional insights, and musical recommendations that will leave you inspired and entertained. Evie has emerged ("out of the darkness") and continues to be a beacon of hope, light, and tremendous inspiration! Follow Evie Stokes: https://www.kexp.org/read/2024/2/20/announcing-your-new-drive-time-host-evie-stokes/
https://www.instagram.com/djeviestokes/
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
KEXP, known for its eclectic and innovative music programming,
has long been a staple for audiophiles in Seattle and, thanks to the marvels
of technology, way beyond.
With its recent expansion into the Bay Area on 92.7 FM, its reach and influence
(00:24):
continue to grow, introducing a new demographic to its unique blend of sounds.
Among the voices that have become synonymous with KEXP's vibrant culture is Evie Stokes,
whose presence on the airwaves has captivated listeners with insightful commentary
(00:45):
and eclectic music selections.
Her voice, a comforting constant for many, especially resonates during some
of those solitary moments we may find ourselves in a car,
transforming mundane commutes into immersive musical journeys.
(01:05):
Today, Evie stands as a testament to the impact of nurturing one's passion and
the importance of mentorship in the arts. Her work at KEXP is more than just a job.
It's a continuation of possibly a lifelong journey with music and connection.
(01:26):
A journey that she generously shares with her listeners, inviting them into
her world of discovery. Could be through stories behind the songs that she plays
or honest reflections on the air.
Her contributions to KEXP are a reminder of the station's pivotal role in fostering
(01:50):
a global community united by the love of music.
Let us bring to the Surprise Cast studio a Seattle native lover of music.
Dead can dance music, and others. Oh, of course, apparently she is the master
of putting together some sublime playlists.
(02:13):
Evie Stokes, welcome to Surprise Cast. How are you?
I'm pretty good. How are you? I'm doing quite well. Thank you for joining us.
And thank you for that nice intro.
You are absolutely welcome. Could you please tell the listeners where you are podcasting from?
I'm podcasting from my home in Edmonds here in Washington, just north of Seattle.
(02:40):
Now, I am quite familiar with Seattle due to having a best friend that lives in Ballard.
Friends that are kind of scattered throughout the state, Olympia, but not Edmond.
What's that place like? It's really nice.
It's really quiet. quiet it's there's a ferry terminal right in the downtown
(03:03):
area so it's kind of like a little,
it's sort of it like ballard in the way that it's on
the puget sound and there's a cute little downtown area with great restaurants
little shops they have a farmer's market you know may through october i think
but it's it's just a cute quiet little beachy town just north of seattle we're
(03:24):
We're about 30 minutes north. Thank you for sharing.
We're going to retrace our steps by going into part one of this conversation.
This will focus on impactful moments during your childhood.
I'm going to read something to you, and I'd like for you to respond to it however you like.
(03:47):
There is no right or wrong answer.
Here we go. So, this is from Good Grief Peanuts Pick-Me-Ups.
For when you need them most.
I'm going to read to you a comic that involves a dog by the name of Snoopy.
Snoopy is on his iconic house that's red.
(04:12):
And he's lying and he's looking up and he says, My life has become a bore.
Everything is the same day in, day out.
What I need is change. And the last square of the comic strip is that the change
(04:33):
is that he's just changed his position.
You see, perspective is everything. So here's my question to you in connection relation to this comic.
Was your childhood kind of the same day in and day out?
Oh, boy. I don't know that it was the same.
(04:57):
Day in and day out. I think it probably was in a good way.
I feel like I had some great stability in childhood for a time.
I grew up in Bellevue, which is another city that's close to Seattle.
(05:20):
It's east of Seattle. at all.
I grew up in a big family. I have three siblings. I'm one of four. I'm the oldest, the,
And my siblings are quite a bit younger. They're five years younger,
10 years younger, 11 years younger.
So there was a lot of change at different increments in my life,
(05:46):
I guess I would say. You know, all of a sudden you have a new sibling,
you have a new, your life has changed in some way.
And then my parents divorced when I was 16. So, you know, curveballs left and right.
So I wouldn't say that it was too, that I was ever bored.
Not in the way that Snoopy is, I guess. I've spoken to many artists,
(06:10):
musicians, where divorce has played an enormous role and had a major influence
and impact on them while they were growing up.
If you wouldn't mind telling the listeners, walk us to that moment when you
found out that your parents were getting a divorce. course?
(06:31):
Yeah. So I suppose it wasn't really surprising for me when I learned,
trying to remember exactly how it happened.
My mom was taking me shopping for a homecoming dress because it was going to homecoming with a boy.
(06:52):
And she just was so sad all day and she was crying and she just,
I couldn't console her and she wouldn't tell me what was wrong until we got home.
That day, where her just finally breaking down and telling me the news herself
without my dad there. And,
And it was a shock because I specifically remember my dad telling me when I
(07:14):
was younger, a few years younger than that, that that's not something I would
ever have to worry about. My parents would never be divorced.
So when my mom broke the news, it was, I guess, unsurprising in the way that
they hadn't been happy in a long time.
And I, even as a teenager, could tell.
But it did feel like a little bit of a betrayal. when you're promised something
(07:39):
is never going to happen, and then it happens.
It's a bummer as a kid.
After that moment, that impact that probably walloped you, were you able to seek support?
I actually kind of spiraled after that.
(07:59):
I decided it was time to start drinking.
Hanging out with the wrong people, doing poorly in school.
I got busted for trying to take a shirt from Nordstrom.
Everything that I could be doing wrong, I was doing wrong.
(08:24):
And I think that the reason for that was, A, I was the oldest of four.
My parents were in a tailspin. And it was hard to take care of toddlers.
I can only imagine now in my life having to take care of two toddlers and go through a.
(08:45):
A hard divorce, but I think I just, I wasn't paying the attention that I did.
So what did have a way to express the grief and the sadness I was going through properly?
I, they, my parents had me, they tried to get me to see therapists.
These therapists broke my trust pretty badly and took the things that I said and told my parents.
(09:13):
I had another Another one that said, I'm not going to do therapy with you unless
you will all agree to family therapy.
And my parents were like, no, we're not doing family therapy.
But then after the shoplifting incident, I had to do diversion,
(09:33):
go through diversion court.
And one of the requirements was that I go see a social worker.
And I couldn't even get my parents to drive me there. I had to find my own way there.
But that woman was actually wonderful. And it turned out I saw her for 10 or so sessions.
(09:54):
It's hard to remember now, but I remember her being helpful in the way that
she just listened and she was also no bullshit. shit.
It's like she wasn't smiling and happy. She just listened and I kind of gave it to me straight.
But I remember really enjoying talking to her and I really enjoy therapy to this day.
(10:16):
Yeah, but it was a hard time in my life.
And I can tell you all about how that kickstarted many other things for me, if you want.
Perhaps and i have a feeling we're going to as we traverse through this conversation
we will touch upon some of those things i wanted to let you know that,
(10:42):
one of the questions i asked mickey bereni of lush was that,
It revolved around this word called shenpa. Have you heard of it? Shenpa?
It's a Tibetan word that means getting hooked. Getting hooked meaning you are
latching on to negative behaviors.
(11:03):
So you had just mentioned your shenpa, shoplifting, drinking, other things.
And then you had mentioned this wonderful person that entered your life, this therapist.
Therapist i'd like to ask you evie if you wouldn't mind sharing when we're done
getting unhooked we start seeing the light that doesn't mean we are completely
(11:28):
innocent it just means we migrate,
towards a space that feels a little bit more sanitized if you will in our decision
making So my question is,
when did you start feeling unhooked, that you were moving the needle forward in a positive way?
(11:50):
And what helped you with that movement?
Well, from where we last left off in this story,
16, 17 years old, we have to fast forward to the spot that you're looking for is like age 30,
(12:13):
oh, what was I?
33. three. I was in a tailspin for that long, but I would say about seven years
ago is when I finally found, I remind me what the word is that you said?
Shenpa. Shenpa. Okay.
So seven years ago, I got sober for the first time and that brought me a lot of peace.
(12:42):
And I can tell you what that that was like, if you'd like to hear it. I would. Okay.
I'm trying to, what month are we in yet? About this time, seven years ago,
I was heavily addicted to substances,
floundering, trying to keep my head above water, and admitted to a friend that
(13:06):
I, I finally admitted it out loud for the first time in my life that I needed help. I couldn't stop.
And by the end of July of 2017, I had written to Music Cares,
which is a Grammy Foundation, or a part of the Grammy Foundation.
They help people in the music industry get help, get into recovery,
(13:30):
also with medical bills or just support in any way they need.
I reached out to them and they helped me get into an inpatient Treatment Center.
I spent 28 days in inpatient and inpatient,
came out the other side so incredibly relieved.
Just such a massive weight off my shoulders.
(13:56):
And I am really, really thankful for that. Really every day of my life,
I'm thankful to Music Cares, but I'm also thankful to myself for finally admitting
it and looking for the help that I so desperately needed.
So that's the cliff notes answer.
(14:18):
I want to say thank you for being vulnerable with me and the listeners. I appreciate it.
This actually is a nice segue into part two of our conversation,
and this is friendship and mentors.
This idea comes from a book called Build the Life You Want, written by Arthur C.
(14:39):
Brooks, and some commentary by a
woman the name of oprah winfrey
in here this is
tackle some really important metacognitive questions about who we are as people
in terms of we are the ceos he calls it that we are the CEOs of our own lives. We are in control.
(15:06):
We have the power, but yet we think we don't.
I'm going to read something to you really quickly, and I want you to think how
this might apply to people that have helped you along the way,
and their contributions in being in your corner,
(15:27):
when maybe at that time you didn't want them in your corner,
but you still stuck by them and they stuck by you.
And friendship is deeply real, as Arthur puts it.
So I'm going to read to you, and just tell me your thoughts on this with regards
to your situation. Okay.
(15:48):
Of the many ideas from Eastern religion and philosophy that have permeated Western thinking,
this second noble truth of Buddhism arguably shines the greatest light on our
happiness, or lack thereof.
Samadaya, as his truth is also known, teaches that attachment is the root of human suffering.
(16:14):
To find peace in life, we must be willing to detach ourselves and thus become
free of sticky cravings.
Okay, so what are your thoughts on that with regards to anything that you've
just expressed and possibly friendship mentors?
(16:37):
That is just unattaching yourself from anything is so difficult and what a powerful message.
And as someone who, you know, as I just mentioned, struggled with addiction
for, you know, almost 20 years,
seeing, you know, I saw that as my comfort, right? Right.
(17:04):
It was what I turned to when I was happy, what I turned to when I was upset,
what I when I was lonely, when I was celebrating.
It didn't it didn't matter. That's because, you know, I think we're sort of
conditioned to feel that way about certain substances, but then maybe not others.
That's besides the point.
But also, the company that I was keeping for the majority of those years was doing the same thing.
(17:34):
So I had to go from, I had to completely reinvent my life.
And in many ways I had to learn how
to learn how to
experience life without these sort
of substances but also how to interact with my friend group without without
these substances in my life I had to relearn how to how it felt to go watch
(18:00):
live music without these you know without being drunk or without drugs.
And my husband, who I'm married to now, is also sober.
So it was my first time navigating a relationship, a deep relationship,
without the influence of drugs or alcohol.
(18:22):
But it's been quite the journey, my friend. It really has.
I'm not a completely different I am who I am at my core,
but I had to unattach this entire lifestyle that I'd been living for decades
and kind of become like Evie 3.0,
(18:45):
who I am today. Yeah.
So what I surmise from that is that the drugs, the alcohol, that transgressional
behavior was your friend. Mm-hmm.
Okay. So if that's the case, who started nudging you the other way so you weren't
(19:11):
dipping your pool into that kind of immoral,
if you want to call it that, lifestyle?
I think if you're speaking of who influenced me to go in the other direction,
I would say it was a lot of people.
My family was extremely concerned about me. Sure.
(19:34):
I took letting another friend of mine close enough to be my roommate to realize
just how much of a problem there was when nobody had asked me before.
Or you know what it's like your family asks but
you don't really pay attention to their to their
(19:54):
you know opinions or their or what they're saying because i don't know it's
hard when it's your parents it's a different thing than if it's your friend
and your roommate and somebody that you you know is on your level but it took
these people expressing genuine concern
for me to sort of look inward and realize that there was an issue and perhaps
(20:18):
it was time for it to change.
So if you wouldn't mind sharing, what was the lowest point that you fell into that pool, that abyss?
Oh, there were many lows.
But did one just shake you to the core, rattle you where you thought to yourself
(20:41):
like snoopy sitting on top of that doghouse looking.
I just need to change a little bit of my perspective here, my life.
Yes. I mean, when you ask that question, there's many that flash through my mind. Sure.
But I'm trying to think of, you know, there was times or there was one time. This wasn't the lowest.
(21:07):
The funny thing about these is that, you know, everybody says you hit a rock bottom.
You get to your lowest of lows and then that's the time.
But I, you know, there was times where I was like decided to,
there was a time, I'm trying to figure out how to say this in a way that's not going to embarrass me.
(21:30):
There were times where I was using substances, didn't remember where I was,
couldn't articulate to my family where I was, but asking to be picked up.
Unable to keep my eyes open while I was eating.
There were several times where people were like, have we had you over for dinner?
And you were nodding off into your spaghetti.
(21:54):
But I think the point where I sort of woke up and thought, shit's got to change,
was I just got so sick of the constant, you need this drug.
You feel better. You get sick again. you have to work three jobs just to make
(22:15):
the money to buy the drugs that are then just making you more and more sick.
And I had just absolutely had it. I was done.
I was sick all the time. I was exhausted.
And I think there was just one night
where I was like, I can't do this anymore. I'm at the end of my rope.
And I woke up in the morning and my roommate, I've just walked out and was like,
(22:38):
I have to talk to you because this is the roommate who had been like, I made you,
dinner last night and you were sitting at the dinner table, nodding off in literally into spaghetti.
And I just walked out and was like, I, I have a problem and I can't stop.
I've tried to stop so many times in my own and I, I can't, and I need, I need help.
(22:59):
And funny enough, I mean, that person did what they could, did what they knew how to do.
But I, there was another friend from my childhood that I grew up next door to
who picked me up and took me to the hospital and had me speak to a social worker.
So this was on record. This is on my medical record now. I'm not messing around.
(23:21):
Had me speak to a social worker and start the journey towards the help that I needed.
It's not, it's also surprisingly hard for people to get.
Rehabilitation for drugs and alcohol. I say from firsthand experience,
it wasn't easy to just walk in somewhere and say, I need to go to rehab.
(23:43):
And they're like, okay, here's a place. You know, it's like,
no, you're doing too many substances or you're not doing enough or it costs
this much money or, you know, it's prohibitive in this way.
Anyway, all that to say, that was the last straw.
And I don't think it was anything huge. It was just like, I've had enough.
I can't do this anymore. I'm sick all the time. I'm broke. I'm exhausted.
(24:06):
I don't want to live this way anymore. I want to feel, I just want to be happy and healthy.
I mentioned to you that I was an elementary school teacher for 23 years.
I've seen all walks of learning modalities,
particularly with students I had sprinkled with autism, students that OCD,
(24:29):
ADD, ADHD, PhD, you name it, I've taught it.
And I remember talking to this one student who was a third grader,
and she had executive functioning.
She really struggled in that department. And she kept her self-esteem was just
being pulverized by her parents.
(24:50):
You need to do this. So one day I was talking to her, and I said,
you know, if you have a hard time organizing your desk or your bedroom or whatever it is.
That might be true, but what's the good thing about being disorganized?
(25:11):
And she looked at me like, Mr. Frederick, that's the weirdest question I've ever asked.
And I said, no, no, no, no, no. You're not a victim.
You choose to be disorganized. and
if you're okay with that what's wrong with that
and what has it gotten you today how has it benefited you so evie my question
(25:35):
to you is through all the darkness or all the mud that you've slogged through
emotionally physically mentally what was the
benefit? What was the positives?
And I know that might be hard to answer. It isn't. Well, maybe it is.
(25:56):
I think, you know, a lot of the time I think back on before things got really dark.
They got dark, but for a while I had a lot of fun.
I went to so many concerts. I went to festivals.
I traveled. I had fun with my friends. I was having a good time.
(26:17):
I probably wasn't doing the best, you know, for my body, but I did have a lot
of fun and I experienced a lot through all of it.
I made a lot of, you know, I met and made a lot of really good friends and people. And I also think.
It gives me a lot more compassion and understanding for people that are currently
(26:40):
suffering from addiction.
I can look at people in a different way than, you know, because I think a lot,
it has helped me to understand people in a different way and also be able to share that.
You know, we do this thing on KEXP that you may have heard called Music Heals,
where we dedicate a day of programming to talking about different things that
(27:02):
are happening in our community,
things like dealing with cancer or dealing with grief or mental health.
And one of the days we do is on addiction and recovery.
And they're extremely powerful for me because I have this backstory,
(27:23):
because I have the knowledge, and because I can share.
It's super powerful. And there's been so many. We've done those.
I think I've done maybe four of those shows over the last five years, six years.
And every time I get emails from people saying, you inspired me to try.
I tried sobriety and now I'm six months, two years, that sort of thing.
(27:46):
And that is, I mean, I have goosebumps talking about it right now.
It's so, so it, it, there was a lot of darkness, but being able to come out
of that to the other side and now bring brightness into other people's lives is wonderful.
I also, I, you know, I do worry about my, my husband and I are both in recovery
(28:06):
and I do worry about my daughter.
Sometimes she has this sort of genetic predisposition for this to be in her
life, but I also think it gives me a good perspective for parenting.
And I think, you know, even with my nieces, I'm able to be honest with them
and tell them what life was like for me, what, what sort of my journey was like
and give them some perspective on perhaps why you shouldn't be doing any drugs.
(28:32):
Stick to sports. So your life from what you've shared thus far,
two-thirds of this conversation is somewhat of a cautionary tale.
I would say so. I mean, and like I said, I did have a lot of fun for quite a
while, or it seemed like fun.
(28:53):
I was having a good time. Probably should have been saving money and taking
better care of my health, I did experience a lot of fun and joy in my life.
Did you have any awareness that maybe as you were experiencing all of that,
flavor of life, the darker flavors of life, did you have any inkling in your
(29:16):
mind like, you know what?
When I come out of this, I'm going to actually be able to help people or not at all?
No inkling. Okay. Not even one. Yeah. Okay. So I'm glad that that has become a reality. Yeah.
And one might say that was kind of meant to be, maybe. I think so.
(29:37):
I think it worked out well.
And you're still struggling a little bit. Yeah. But that's okay, right?
I mean, we all struggle. Yeah. Kirstie Almeida, a wonderful musician,
talks about these struggles as being our mental dragons.
We all have them. And they're always going to be there. But we always have that sword ready to go.
(30:03):
We just can't be so afraid to use it.
And sometimes using that sword is the truth. And we all know what the truth
feels like sometimes. It sucks. It sure does.
But it certainly sets us free, doesn't it?
Thank you so much for really being an open book with regards to such an impactful, seminal experience.
(30:30):
It really is a joy for me to share. And it's good in the way that I think sharing,
if people are comfortable with it, is powerful in a lot of ways.
I think it feels really good to get it off your chest and just be as honest
as you possibly can because, you know, as they say, secrets keep you sick.
(30:55):
So I think sharing and openness and honesty and just being raw and real is good for me.
And it's also good for the people who need to hear it.
Because I was once upon a time in a place where I wanted to be clean and sober
and I didn't know how to start.
I didn't know where to turn. There was people that helped me in the process.
(31:16):
So I would have liked to hear a story from someone like me.
Yeah, it feels good to talk about it. With those experiences,
before we get into your work at KEXP, how have they made you a better mother?
Oh, boy.
(31:38):
Well, I'm grateful every day of my life because with the substances I was using,
it could have been taken away very easily.
And I truly did not think, A, that I was going to have kids,
or B, that I could have kids.
I just had convinced myself that I didn't even have that option.
(32:05):
So I'm grateful that I kept, you know, that I'm still here.
And I'm just grateful that for every single day that I have with my kid,
she's wonderful. waterfall.
I wish I could say it taught me more about patience, but that one I'm still learning.
But like I mentioned, it gives me this past,
(32:27):
my past experiences give me a whole different outlook on what it's like to be
a person in the world and what sort of things are ahead,
what sort of things you will have to deal with and how to better take on those
life experiences other than just getting wasted.
(32:53):
Do you hold resentment towards your parents?
I don't. I wish that things could have been a little bit different in my childhood,
but I think becoming a parent released a lot of the...
Resentment that I held. Because you understand how hard it is?
(33:16):
Yes. Yeah. And I can only, you know, I only have one child. I can only imagine
how hard it would be to have four.
But yes, it really, becoming a parent really healed a lot of that for me and
helped me understand my parents as people
a lot more okay wow
(33:39):
there's so many different tree branches
limbs that we could go off on but
i certainly want to honor the third
part of our conversation and again this stems from the book that i was sharing
with you arthur c brooks the art and build the life you want the art and science
(34:03):
of getting happier the third part third pillar he talks about is work.
Intrinsically how do we value our worth through the work that we do painter
teacher doctor lawyer doesn't matter and within the work are we creating so
(34:23):
let's get to that right now All righty.
There is a band that I learned that you love, and that's a band that I love, Dead Can Dance.
It's a great title for a band. Many people don't think about it,
but it's kind of like the two worlds of death and life merging and all the intricacies
(34:46):
that come sprinkling throughout their music.
Music so what is
it about music that speaks to your heart and when did you realize wow this is
having a major impact on the way that i behave and the way i interact and all
(35:06):
those good things that music can do well i have.
Loved music so much as long as I can remember.
And, you know, it's hard for me to tell how music feels or moves other people.
But for me, it was just like it, it felt like just sort of all consuming.
(35:31):
It felt like I, I'll give examples.
When I was much younger, my dad was very into to music.
Loved his stereos. Always had like the newest cutting edge stereo.
He always had a great stereo in his car and he would drive me around.
When he would get it installed, he'd drive me around and like play the Blade
(35:53):
Runner soundtrack at, you know, top volume just to show me how cool it was.
He also, he, you know, he had like a CD player with a, a record function before anybody else did.
So I was making mixtapes, but I think, you know, he would let me do things for me.
(36:15):
The biggest joy was we're going on a road trip. We're going skiing.
We're, you know, we would go on a lot, a lot of hiking and skiing and mountain
biking and all that kind of stuff in my life, in my childhood, lots of road trips.
For me, my favorite thing in the world was I got to pick the CDs for the drive
or the, you know, it was tapes, but it sort of, as I, in my younger childhood, it became CDs.
(36:40):
I got to pick the CDs. I got to take each one of them out of its case and put
them in the little, you know, the travel sleeves and, and then decide what we
were going to listen to at different parts of the drive.
And my dad would give me full reign. And I grew up religious,
or in a religious family, I should say.
(37:02):
I wasn't allowed to listen to any music.
Wasn't pre-chosen by my family. So I was allowed to listen to the oldies station
or the Christian station or the things that my dad listened to.
So that was Tears for Fears, U2, Joshua Tree specifically.
(37:26):
What else? Paul Simon's Graceland. Yeah.
All the good stuff. I, you know, there's more. Eurythmics, so much Eurythmics.
The Annie Lennox Diva album are all, Dead Can Dance was another one.
My dad was a big Dead Can Dance listener.
So I mean, it was, I wanted to be listening to the things that other kids were
(37:50):
listening to, but I was also listening to the best of the best.
You know, like that was peak late eighties, early nineties.
And it wasn't like Like he was listening, you know, the carpenters, bless them.
But there's, you know, some people's parents weren't as cool.
Wow. Yeah. My parents are arts, art students. They're both artists.
(38:14):
Okay. They met at Cornish and they were very, very hip.
Very cool. Very into art and culture and interior design and fashion. And yeah.
It was a kind of cool childhood in that way. Well, my goodness.
I mean, just to hear that your father appreciated Dead Can Dance.
(38:39):
Fantastic. And do you remember Deep Forest? Oh, yeah. Yeah.
He was very into Deep Forest, too. And so then so was I.
Just, yeah, he's got great taste. His favorite album of all time is the Traffic album.
High Spark of Low, Spark of High Heel something. I can't remember.
(39:04):
That's his favorite album of all time.
Thanks, Dad.
I'm going to read to you another passage from Build the Life You Want.
Respond how you like. With regards to your work at KEXP.
Career goals. You might be a person who absolutely loves her or his work,
(39:31):
has a completely healthy work-life balance,
and can't think of anything that could make this part of life better.
Wait, you're not! You're not? In truth, most people are more or less okay with
their jobs, but don't seem as an enormous source of satisfaction.
(39:56):
They don't know how to make things a lot better, though, and thus leave this
part of life good enough.
In 2022, for example, just 16% of employees were very satisfied with their work.
37% were somewhat satisfied. Everyone else said they were somewhat dissatisfied
(40:19):
or very dissatisfied or said, I'm just glad to have a job.
How would you answer this? I would say I'm very satisfied. Yes. Yeah. Ellen?
Well, music, as I've just mentioned, has always been extremely important to
(40:39):
me. and I get to go into work and,
and play a mix of music, whatever I want. There's no rules.
As long as I play some new music, they have those guidelines.
I got to play some new music. I got to play some stuff that people recognize.
I got to take some requests.
I can play whatever I want. For three hours, I just get into a flow state and
(41:03):
mix things on the fly, whatever sounds good, whatever's corresponding with the
day. It's sunny outside. You play songs about sun.
Somebody's had a loss in their life. They want a HeroQuest, you can play that.
So there's that aspect of it. The music, because music is, you know,
my lifeblood. I love it so much.
But there's also the fact that KEXP has this incredible community of people.
(41:28):
So I have people that listen from all over the world.
And every time I'm on air, people are checking in. How was your week?
Here's what I'm making for dinner.
Here's my kid had a birthday, or here's a picture of my cat laying in the sun.
So I have all these friends that I get to check in with, you know,
it was right now, my show is on Sunday afternoons. And it's a time that people
(41:49):
really spend with their family.
And I spend getting ready for the week. It has a lot of people listening as,
you know, part of their routine.
And so I get to interact with my friends. These people are all my friends at
this point, I get to interact with all my friends.
But then there's also, as I mentioned before, for. There's things like the Music Heals Days.
There's the fact that I have a platform to talk to people about the importance
(42:12):
of recovery, the importance of mental health.
It's rewarding in that way.
And frankly, I didn't plan to be a KEXP DJ.
I didn't plan. This wasn't my lifelong goal.
It's something that blossomed over time and became what it is.
And it is something that is just just perfect for me.
(42:35):
I just happened to find a job that is exactly what I needed.
I'm blessed in that way. I should say also that right now my show is on Sundays,
and I've been a part-time employee at KEXP for 10 years.
Starting the end of July, this will be my full-time job.
And in the meantime, over the last 10 years, I've had.
(43:00):
Jobs, lots of jobs trying to support. So I've, I've done event planning.
I've done restaurant management.
I've done, I've, I worked for a yogurt company.
I did, I worked in banquets, lots of customer service work, as you can tell.
But for the last seven years, I've been working as an executive assistant at
(43:23):
a law firm for two attorneys, which are the partners at the firm.
And it's been the longest I've held a job other than KEXP.
I started, you know, right as I got sober. So I have, I also have this job in
the background, which is ending soon.
So I have the perspective of my job's okay.
(43:43):
I like the people I work with. My job's okay.
But I also have the KEXP where it's just like, I mean, the people I work with,
I love them. The people I talk to every day, I love them.
The music, being able to curate a soundtrack for people's lives for three hours a day.
Absolutely love it. So I have nothing bad to say about my job.
(44:07):
That's wonderful to hear, by the way. Thank you.
Congratulations on this upcoming gig starting in July. Drive time. Drive time.
You're taking and filling in some big shoes.
I sure am. Mr. Cole. Yeah. Kevin is wonderful.
And he's moving into my spot. He's going to move into Sunday afternoons.
(44:30):
And I'm excited to see what he does with it.
So when I spoke with Morgan, DJ Morgan, a year ago, year and a half ago, it was very palpable.
It was very evident how much...
XP means to her what is meant to
her in terms of this community
(44:53):
this love this affinity for
one another and how you look out for one another and take care of each other
it doesn't seem like a place of where individuals are grandstanding in a manner
that mmm kind of makes them look a little bit more superior.
(45:16):
And she really expressed all these wonderful verbal accolades for this organization.
And you're doing the same thing.
So you realize, I know you already know this, how lucky you are because someone
right now and once banging down that door wants your job.
(45:38):
I know. I, you know, I, I volunteered at KEXP for.
10 years before it's starting
in 2007 so it was maybe eight years before i
got a job i wanted that so bad you put in your time i did and i loved it yeah
(45:58):
okay so imagine it's sunday or you know let's flash forward it's drive time
starting in july i want you to listen to this and i want you
to think about sharing the ritual of being a DJ at KEXP.
(46:19):
Here we go. This is written by Twyla Tharp, The Creative Habit,
Learn It and Use It for Life.
This section's all about rituals.
A ritual. The Oxford English Dictionary tells me it's a prescribed order of
performing religious or other devotional service.
(46:41):
All that applies to my morning ritual. Thinking of a ritual has a transforming effect on the activity.
Turning something into a ritual eliminates the question, why am I doing this?
By the time I give the taxi driver directions, it's too late to wonder why I'm
(47:02):
going to the gym and not snoozing under the warm covers of my bed.
The cab is moving. I'm committed. admitted, like it or not, I am going to the
gym, the ritual erases the question of whether or not I like it.
It's also a friendly reminder that I'm doing the right thing.
(47:22):
I've done it before. It was good. I'll do it again.
So what's the ritual for your role as a DJ? Well, I do have the same ritual.
I do have a ritual. So I get to KEXP about two and a half hours early.
I set up my lunch. I bring my lunch with me, set it up, and I go through and
(47:48):
listen to as much of the new music that they put in our rotation as possible.
So as DJs, we're required to play a certain amount of new music and they break
them up by heavy, medium, light.
So we have to play a few from heavy, few from medium, one from light.
(48:09):
And we have hundreds and hundreds of releases that come through KEXP every week
from our music director who filters them down to us and then we have to filter
them down even further. So I listened to music for probably two hours.
Give songs probably about five to 10 seconds before I skip on to the next one.
(48:30):
And I listen and listen and just find what I want. I look through all the anniversaries
and the birthdays for the day, see if there's anybody I want to honor, any music I want to play.
I come up with my about first four or five songs, depending on the set that I want to play.
And then I go from there. I never wear shoes when I'm DJing.
(48:50):
That's something you should know about me.
I'm always in my socks why just comfort
comfort and also i am
tall so in our booth is made
for short people it feels so the less height the less i have to you know hunch
over so i just wear my shoes it's cozy or i don't wear my shoes i wear my socks
(49:13):
and i have an assistant that works with me every Sunday right now. His name's Jim.
We talk before we get a little spreadsheet ready with, you know,
so I can keep track of requests and then it's, it's game time, baby.
3 PM. Boom. Okay. So let's rewind a little bit. No pun intended.
(49:38):
So you're going through all this library of music. You're listening to these
songs, five, 10 seconds. Okay.
Listening for melodic hooks are you looking
listening to strong intros like what
is it that obviously probably depends day to
day it does depend day to day but usually i'm i the thing is too is we're we're
(50:01):
they're giving us whole albums so we're having to listen through to all the
tracks and i i do this thing where i like to listen to the last song first on
the album and And sort of see what it sounds like and then,
you know, go through whichever the recommended tracks are.
But I find that I will discover a lot of hidden gems by going to that last track first.
(50:24):
Because people will a lot of the time use their last track as an outro and it'll
be a big, heavy, beautiful song.
But I listen to the first little bit of the song. I'll skip through to the middle.
And if it sounds like something that I enjoy, I'll keep listening or I'll put
it on a playlist and play it. But there's not one specific thing that I'm looking for.
(50:46):
It's not like melody or beat or anything. It's just like, does it sound good?
Sound like something I like? Great. I'll play it.
So what are the challenges that come for your responsibilities?
Trying to keep up with music. A lot of the time it's hard, especially since
I only do one show a week and only have three hours to showcase all the new
(51:07):
music that I enjoy or that I find. Keeping up with music can be hard.
I also get a ton of submissions from artists from all over the world directly to my email.
So having to sort through those and listen to a lot of amateur recordings and things can be a lot.
And trying to fit everything that I love, all the new music,
(51:30):
all the old recognizable music, all the birthdays, all the anniversaries,
and all the requests and the shout outs and everything.
It can be hard to get into just one three-hour show a week. Like when you were
actually live, how does that, I would get a sense.
I mean, you probably are thriving on that energy because things are moving fast.
(51:53):
So take us right inside that live moment. What's happening?
Oh man. Yes. I've, I've had to come to terms with the fact that a lot of adrenaline
is coursing through my veins as I've gotten older and realized I need to be a little bit more zen.
Zen to keep my cortisol levels not so abnormal at the time.
(52:15):
But yes, you're, you are. So at all times, like I told you, everything's on the fly. So, um.
Sometimes I will have an idea of like, okay, well, this will sound good with the song after it.
But then that song's playing and you can't listen to the song that you love
because you have to figure out what the next song is going to be.
And the whole time you're DJing, but you're also updating a playlist that populates
(52:41):
in real time with the songs that are on air.
So you're having to manage that. Thankfully, you have an assistant that can
help you with the comments and whatnot.
You're also responding to emails and responding to text messages because both
of those come in from listeners and trying to, people will request the most
(53:01):
obscure shit you've ever heard in your life.
And you have to listen, you're having to like, okay, I've never heard the song.
I got to listen to it. I had to figure out if there's any, you know, if it's FCC friendly.
So it can feel a little bit like flying a small plane at
times over the years
though you know at first when i
(53:21):
first started doing it it was extremely overwhelming and
i was extremely nervous all the time but
it's gotten you know it's become an art over the
years it's a little easier now but there's
days where you're like sometimes i'll be
like you know what let's just play all songs about space for
no reason at all there's a you know maybe
(53:44):
there's an anniversary of an astronaut let's play
songs about space the whole show and your
messages and requests will be i'm able like hundreds and hundreds and hundreds
of messages and you can't keep up and that those days are a little bit more
stressful than the others but so what in your opinion what makes a good dj,
(54:09):
I think an excellent taste in music, an excellent taste in music, and a relatable...
With no ego what about
a voice i think a voice is pretty important
too i you know not every dj that i love has the most commanding or calming voice
(54:31):
though but you know what's funny is that now in everyday life when i hear people
talk i will think that person would sound really good on air.
There's certain people in my life that I've sussed that out.
Yeah. I love getting greater insight and perspective and a lens into this KEXP world.
(54:56):
It's fascinating. And I'm sure there's so many other layers and elements to
it that we just don't have time for.
But anything else you'd like to tell the listeners about KEXP,
go for it well i just think people should know that right now the music industry is,
(55:17):
changing evolving and some things are in a tailspin and it's more important
now than ever that you are an active supporter and listener to public radio
and that you support independent
artists and independent stations, whenever you can.
(55:37):
KEXP is, you know, is bigger than it's ever been. It's thriving more than it's ever been.
But just whatever, you know, whatever public radio station it is that you enjoy,
that you love, it's important that you support them or anything in the arts, really.
And to all the listeners out there, I had
the the great fortune of visiting the studio did
(55:59):
one of the studio tours with my best friend pre-covid and
i absolutely loved it and the outro
of that experience is that and i
didn't realize this for some reason it was gonna drop me off
right at the record store inside that building yeah so coffee photography records
(56:22):
kexp studio tour highly recommend it to everybody it's very fun anyone wants
to come you can hit me up and i'll take you on a tour oh so good okay,
evie we're going to do our encore part of this conversation i want to do you,
(56:45):
to share one two three albums for our listeners that you recommend sure do you
want them to be new old does it matter doesn't matter if it's the carpenters traffic.
Okay hansen i don't care i did love hansen okay well i'll tell you a current
(57:06):
one that i'm listening to is from the bound band mount kimby they have a new
album out called the sunset violent Island.
Mount Kimby is a really cool band that's, you know, they've been putting out
records for years, but they've now turned into a four piece band and they're sort of going from,
(57:27):
being a more electronic band to now being more indie rock.
And the result is very cool. They have some cool collaborators in this album, like King Cruel.
Nice. This is something that I've been listening to a lot lately.
And, you know, Going back to what I was saying about so much adrenaline in my
(57:47):
life comes along with DJing and trying to just keep my zen a little bit more.
I've been trying to listen to things that are a little bit calmer lately in
the last few months of my life.
Dealing with some weird health issues and just trying to be peaceful,
be more peaceful every day.
(58:07):
I've been listening to this album a ton. So if you need vibes like that in your
life, I think this is a good way to turn. Love it.
I'm trying to think of something maybe wouldn't have heard there is a new record
from a Seattle band called some surprises it's a new shoegaze record from a
(58:30):
Seattle band yes very very good,
I think the I'm gonna look right now before I say the wrong thing the best track
on the album is called Be Reasonable.
It's beautiful. It's six and a half minutes long.
(58:50):
That's another good one, new one for people to check out.
And then when I think of, you know, a list of my favorites of all time,
there's the hitters, like the songs from The Big Chair and The Joshua Tree and
Graceland and all the things we were talking about before that are big from my childhood.
But I think I think the Post record from Bjork, if you're not a Bjork lover
(59:16):
yet and you, where do I start? Start with Post.
Then go to Debut. Yes. Then listen to the Sugar Cubes. Yes.
Stick around for joy. Yes. But I think Bjork's post is, it's also slightly nostalgic
for me, but I think is just as good as a, as good as a record could get. I'm a big trip hop girl.
(59:40):
I love that, that, that whole genre and that whole time in music in the early,
early to mid nineties where, you know, they were all working on each other's records.
Nelly Hooper was in everybody's records and Tricky was producing and Bjork was
guesting and producing and you can see that sound on so many records,
(01:00:02):
but Bjork's post is one of my all-time favorites. Yeah.
Heard it listeners get on the lightning round here we go i'm just gonna rattle
some stuff off you just tell the listeners what comes to mind you ready a place
you'd love to visit iceland.
It ties in with it there's a lot of places i'd
(01:00:24):
love to visit but that's the first place that came to mind something that
feels slightly overrated to you oh slightly
overrated mayo last great
movie you saw oh my gosh hold
on i i think i i think it's hold on one second okay last great movie i saw was
(01:00:48):
thelma i saw it last night at the The SIF 50th anniversary opening night.
It was the premiere of the movie Thelma. And it was incredible.
The entire theater was cracking up the entire time.
Really, really, really good. And can't recommend it enough. I think it's out
in theaters in a few weeks.
(01:01:11):
A musician you would love to have coffee with at your favorite cafe.
Liam Gallagher. Nice. It would be so entertaining, don't you think?
It would be a really, really entertaining conversation.
I've often wondered, does he talk like the way he sings? Yeah.
(01:01:32):
Vinyl, CD, or cassette? Hmm.
Vinyl. Vinyl if it's for home listening.
CD if I only have those three options for DJing.
Taylor Swift, Beyonce, or Wonder Woman? Beyonce.
Seattle Mariners. What about them? Just tell me what comes to your mind. They play baseball.
(01:02:00):
Sonic Boom Records.
Wonderful. A restaurant you'd recommend in Seattle.
Okay, well, I can tell you there's lots. There's so many. But if you're looking
for a really good burger, are you looking for a good burger?
I'm always on the hunt for a good burger. Always.
I would visit Giddy Up Burgers in Ballard.
(01:02:22):
I'll talk to my friend about it. Okay. And especially if you have kids,
it's a very kid-friendly place if you want it to be. They have really great burgers.
They really have good draft beers for people who want that sort of thing.
They have a frozen yogurt bar.
But it's all really good. Giddy Up Burgers in Ballard.
(01:02:45):
Kurt Cobain. Eddie Vedder. Eddie Vedder.
Morgan love her absolutely love her DJ Jewel absolutely love her too sushi or
Thai food Thai food one of the best concerts you've ever seen Daft Punk at Coachella in 2007,
(01:03:08):
nice yeah look you already rattled off like that yeah I have a tattoo on my
arm that is in commemoration of that I saw them three times on that tour it
was a big thing anyway Last one.
You told me a great deal about you in an hour and 12 minutes.
(01:03:28):
This suitcase that you've carried with you for so many years,
filled with incredible experiences, highs and lows, everything that life has to offer.
I want to know who is EB Stokes now?
I am, I, I'm a woman who is, you know, I just turned 40 at the age of 40 is
(01:03:56):
finally seeing her dreams come true.
I'm in a happy, really, I'm in a happy, loving relationship with a person.
I, I really love so much.
I have a daughter who I am so dedicated to.
And so I just love so much. and I just got my dream job, I'm finally feeling
(01:04:17):
comfortable with who I am and where I am in life, and it feels really, really good.
Yeah, I hear it. Evie Stokes, thank you so much. And can you remind the listeners
when they can check out your show?
Yes. So every Sunday, 3 to 6 p.m. Pacific time on KEXP, you can listen online
at kexp.org or through our apps.
(01:04:40):
And then starting July 30th, I will be on Tuesdays through Fridays from 4 to
7 p.m. Pacific time as the new host of Drive Time.
This has been an extremely illuminating, educational, entertaining conversation with Evie Stokes.
I greatly appreciate, again, what I said earlier,
(01:05:03):
your willingness to open the pages changes to your life for people to hear and
read with their ears and as the great dj kexp says.
You're not alone.
True yeah thank you for being such an inspiration my name is w also known as
(01:05:27):
william host of the The High Art on the Edge page, host of SurpriseCast. Take care, everyone.
And remember, great music is always out there. You just have to keep your ears open. Thank you.
KEXP, known for its eclectic and innovative music programming,
has long been a staple for audiophiles in Seattle and, thanks to the marvels
of technology, way beyond.
With its recent expansion into the Bay Area on 92.7 FM, its reach and influence
(00:24):
continue to grow, introducing a new demographic to its unique blend of sounds.
Among the voices that have become synonymous with KEXP's vibrant culture is Evie Stokes,
whose presence on the airwaves has captivated listeners with insightful commentary
(00:45):
and eclectic music selections.
Her voice, a comforting constant for many, especially resonates during some
of those solitary moments we may find ourselves in a car,
transforming mundane commutes into immersive musical journeys.
(01:05):
Today, Evie stands as a testament to the impact of nurturing one's passion and
the importance of mentorship in the arts. Her work at KEXP is more than just a job.
It's a continuation of possibly a lifelong journey with music and connection.
(01:26):
A journey that she generously shares with her listeners, inviting them into
her world of discovery. Could be through stories behind the songs that she plays
or honest reflections on the air.
Her contributions to KEXP are a reminder of the station's pivotal role in fostering
(01:50):
a global community united by the love of music.
Let us bring to the Surprise Cast studio a Seattle native lover of music.
Dead can dance music, and others. Oh, of course, apparently she is the master
of putting together some sublime playlists.
(02:13):
Evie Stokes, welcome to Surprise Cast. How are you?
I'm pretty good. How are you? I'm doing quite well. Thank you for joining us.
And thank you for that nice intro.
You are absolutely welcome. Could you please tell the listeners where you are podcasting from?
I'm podcasting from my home in Edmonds here in Washington, just north of Seattle.
(02:40):
Now, I am quite familiar with Seattle due to having a best friend that lives in Ballard.
Friends that are kind of scattered throughout the state, Olympia, but not Edmond.
What's that place like? It's really nice.
It's really quiet. quiet it's there's a ferry terminal right in the downtown
(03:03):
area so it's kind of like a little,
it's sort of it like ballard in the way that it's on
the puget sound and there's a cute little downtown area with great restaurants
little shops they have a farmer's market you know may through october i think
but it's it's just a cute quiet little beachy town just north of seattle we're
(03:24):
We're about 30 minutes north. Thank you for sharing.
We're going to retrace our steps by going into part one of this conversation.
This will focus on impactful moments during your childhood.
I'm going to read something to you, and I'd like for you to respond to it however you like.
(03:47):
There is no right or wrong answer.
Here we go. So, this is from Good Grief Peanuts Pick-Me-Ups.
For when you need them most.
I'm going to read to you a comic that involves a dog by the name of Snoopy.
Snoopy is on his iconic house that's red.
(04:12):
And he's lying and he's looking up and he says, My life has become a bore.
Everything is the same day in, day out.
What I need is change. And the last square of the comic strip is that the change
(04:33):
is that he's just changed his position.
You see, perspective is everything. So here's my question to you in connection relation to this comic.
Was your childhood kind of the same day in and day out?
Oh, boy. I don't know that it was the same.
(04:57):
Day in and day out. I think it probably was in a good way.
I feel like I had some great stability in childhood for a time.
I grew up in Bellevue, which is another city that's close to Seattle.
(05:20):
It's east of Seattle. at all.
I grew up in a big family. I have three siblings. I'm one of four. I'm the oldest, the,
And my siblings are quite a bit younger. They're five years younger,
10 years younger, 11 years younger.
So there was a lot of change at different increments in my life,
(05:46):
I guess I would say. You know, all of a sudden you have a new sibling,
you have a new, your life has changed in some way.
And then my parents divorced when I was 16. So, you know, curveballs left and right.
So I wouldn't say that it was too, that I was ever bored.
Not in the way that Snoopy is, I guess. I've spoken to many artists,
(06:10):
musicians, where divorce has played an enormous role and had a major influence
and impact on them while they were growing up.
If you wouldn't mind telling the listeners, walk us to that moment when you
found out that your parents were getting a divorce. course?
(06:31):
Yeah. So I suppose it wasn't really surprising for me when I learned,
trying to remember exactly how it happened.
My mom was taking me shopping for a homecoming dress because it was going to homecoming with a boy.
(06:52):
And she just was so sad all day and she was crying and she just,
I couldn't console her and she wouldn't tell me what was wrong until we got home.
That day, where her just finally breaking down and telling me the news herself
without my dad there. And,
And it was a shock because I specifically remember my dad telling me when I
(07:14):
was younger, a few years younger than that, that that's not something I would
ever have to worry about. My parents would never be divorced.
So when my mom broke the news, it was, I guess, unsurprising in the way that
they hadn't been happy in a long time.
And I, even as a teenager, could tell.
But it did feel like a little bit of a betrayal. when you're promised something
(07:39):
is never going to happen, and then it happens.
It's a bummer as a kid.
After that moment, that impact that probably walloped you, were you able to seek support?
I actually kind of spiraled after that.
(07:59):
I decided it was time to start drinking.
Hanging out with the wrong people, doing poorly in school.
I got busted for trying to take a shirt from Nordstrom.
Everything that I could be doing wrong, I was doing wrong.
(08:24):
And I think that the reason for that was, A, I was the oldest of four.
My parents were in a tailspin. And it was hard to take care of toddlers.
I can only imagine now in my life having to take care of two toddlers and go through a.
(08:45):
A hard divorce, but I think I just, I wasn't paying the attention that I did.
So what did have a way to express the grief and the sadness I was going through properly?
I, they, my parents had me, they tried to get me to see therapists.
These therapists broke my trust pretty badly and took the things that I said and told my parents.
(09:13):
I had another Another one that said, I'm not going to do therapy with you unless
you will all agree to family therapy.
And my parents were like, no, we're not doing family therapy.
But then after the shoplifting incident, I had to do diversion,
(09:33):
go through diversion court.
And one of the requirements was that I go see a social worker.
And I couldn't even get my parents to drive me there. I had to find my own way there.
But that woman was actually wonderful. And it turned out I saw her for 10 or so sessions.
(09:54):
It's hard to remember now, but I remember her being helpful in the way that
she just listened and she was also no bullshit. shit.
It's like she wasn't smiling and happy. She just listened and I kind of gave it to me straight.
But I remember really enjoying talking to her and I really enjoy therapy to this day.
(10:16):
Yeah, but it was a hard time in my life.
And I can tell you all about how that kickstarted many other things for me, if you want.
Perhaps and i have a feeling we're going to as we traverse through this conversation
we will touch upon some of those things i wanted to let you know that,
(10:42):
one of the questions i asked mickey bereni of lush was that,
It revolved around this word called shenpa. Have you heard of it? Shenpa?
It's a Tibetan word that means getting hooked. Getting hooked meaning you are
latching on to negative behaviors.
(11:03):
So you had just mentioned your shenpa, shoplifting, drinking, other things.
And then you had mentioned this wonderful person that entered your life, this therapist.
Therapist i'd like to ask you evie if you wouldn't mind sharing when we're done
getting unhooked we start seeing the light that doesn't mean we are completely
(11:28):
innocent it just means we migrate,
towards a space that feels a little bit more sanitized if you will in our decision
making So my question is,
when did you start feeling unhooked, that you were moving the needle forward in a positive way?
(11:50):
And what helped you with that movement?
Well, from where we last left off in this story,
16, 17 years old, we have to fast forward to the spot that you're looking for is like age 30,
(12:13):
oh, what was I?
33. three. I was in a tailspin for that long, but I would say about seven years
ago is when I finally found, I remind me what the word is that you said?
Shenpa. Shenpa. Okay.
So seven years ago, I got sober for the first time and that brought me a lot of peace.
(12:42):
And I can tell you what that that was like, if you'd like to hear it. I would. Okay.
I'm trying to, what month are we in yet? About this time, seven years ago,
I was heavily addicted to substances,
floundering, trying to keep my head above water, and admitted to a friend that
(13:06):
I, I finally admitted it out loud for the first time in my life that I needed help. I couldn't stop.
And by the end of July of 2017, I had written to Music Cares,
which is a Grammy Foundation, or a part of the Grammy Foundation.
They help people in the music industry get help, get into recovery,
(13:30):
also with medical bills or just support in any way they need.
I reached out to them and they helped me get into an inpatient Treatment Center.
I spent 28 days in inpatient and inpatient,
came out the other side so incredibly relieved.
Just such a massive weight off my shoulders.
(13:56):
And I am really, really thankful for that. Really every day of my life,
I'm thankful to Music Cares, but I'm also thankful to myself for finally admitting
it and looking for the help that I so desperately needed.
So that's the cliff notes answer.
(14:18):
I want to say thank you for being vulnerable with me and the listeners. I appreciate it.
This actually is a nice segue into part two of our conversation,
and this is friendship and mentors.
This idea comes from a book called Build the Life You Want, written by Arthur C.
(14:39):
Brooks, and some commentary by a
woman the name of oprah winfrey
in here this is
tackle some really important metacognitive questions about who we are as people
in terms of we are the ceos he calls it that we are the CEOs of our own lives. We are in control.
(15:06):
We have the power, but yet we think we don't.
I'm going to read something to you really quickly, and I want you to think how
this might apply to people that have helped you along the way,
and their contributions in being in your corner,
(15:27):
when maybe at that time you didn't want them in your corner,
but you still stuck by them and they stuck by you.
And friendship is deeply real, as Arthur puts it.
So I'm going to read to you, and just tell me your thoughts on this with regards
to your situation. Okay.
(15:48):
Of the many ideas from Eastern religion and philosophy that have permeated Western thinking,
this second noble truth of Buddhism arguably shines the greatest light on our
happiness, or lack thereof.
Samadaya, as his truth is also known, teaches that attachment is the root of human suffering.
(16:14):
To find peace in life, we must be willing to detach ourselves and thus become
free of sticky cravings.
Okay, so what are your thoughts on that with regards to anything that you've
just expressed and possibly friendship mentors?
(16:37):
That is just unattaching yourself from anything is so difficult and what a powerful message.
And as someone who, you know, as I just mentioned, struggled with addiction
for, you know, almost 20 years,
seeing, you know, I saw that as my comfort, right? Right.
(17:04):
It was what I turned to when I was happy, what I turned to when I was upset,
what I when I was lonely, when I was celebrating.
It didn't it didn't matter. That's because, you know, I think we're sort of
conditioned to feel that way about certain substances, but then maybe not others.
That's besides the point.
But also, the company that I was keeping for the majority of those years was doing the same thing.
(17:34):
So I had to go from, I had to completely reinvent my life.
And in many ways I had to learn how
to learn how to
experience life without these sort
of substances but also how to interact with my friend group without without
these substances in my life I had to relearn how to how it felt to go watch
(18:00):
live music without these you know without being drunk or without drugs.
And my husband, who I'm married to now, is also sober.
So it was my first time navigating a relationship, a deep relationship,
without the influence of drugs or alcohol.
(18:22):
But it's been quite the journey, my friend. It really has.
I'm not a completely different I am who I am at my core,
but I had to unattach this entire lifestyle that I'd been living for decades
and kind of become like Evie 3.0,
(18:45):
who I am today. Yeah.
So what I surmise from that is that the drugs, the alcohol, that transgressional
behavior was your friend. Mm-hmm.
Okay. So if that's the case, who started nudging you the other way so you weren't
(19:11):
dipping your pool into that kind of immoral,
if you want to call it that, lifestyle?
I think if you're speaking of who influenced me to go in the other direction,
I would say it was a lot of people.
My family was extremely concerned about me. Sure.
(19:34):
I took letting another friend of mine close enough to be my roommate to realize
just how much of a problem there was when nobody had asked me before.
Or you know what it's like your family asks but
you don't really pay attention to their to their
(19:54):
you know opinions or their or what they're saying because i don't know it's
hard when it's your parents it's a different thing than if it's your friend
and your roommate and somebody that you you know is on your level but it took
these people expressing genuine concern
for me to sort of look inward and realize that there was an issue and perhaps
(20:18):
it was time for it to change.
So if you wouldn't mind sharing, what was the lowest point that you fell into that pool, that abyss?
Oh, there were many lows.
But did one just shake you to the core, rattle you where you thought to yourself
(20:41):
like snoopy sitting on top of that doghouse looking.
I just need to change a little bit of my perspective here, my life.
Yes. I mean, when you ask that question, there's many that flash through my mind. Sure.
But I'm trying to think of, you know, there was times or there was one time. This wasn't the lowest.
(21:07):
The funny thing about these is that, you know, everybody says you hit a rock bottom.
You get to your lowest of lows and then that's the time.
But I, you know, there was times where I was like decided to,
there was a time, I'm trying to figure out how to say this in a way that's not going to embarrass me.
(21:30):
There were times where I was using substances, didn't remember where I was,
couldn't articulate to my family where I was, but asking to be picked up.
Unable to keep my eyes open while I was eating.
There were several times where people were like, have we had you over for dinner?
And you were nodding off into your spaghetti.
(21:54):
But I think the point where I sort of woke up and thought, shit's got to change,
was I just got so sick of the constant, you need this drug.
You feel better. You get sick again. you have to work three jobs just to make
(22:15):
the money to buy the drugs that are then just making you more and more sick.
And I had just absolutely had it. I was done.
I was sick all the time. I was exhausted.
And I think there was just one night
where I was like, I can't do this anymore. I'm at the end of my rope.
And I woke up in the morning and my roommate, I've just walked out and was like,
(22:38):
I have to talk to you because this is the roommate who had been like, I made you,
dinner last night and you were sitting at the dinner table, nodding off in literally into spaghetti.
And I just walked out and was like, I, I have a problem and I can't stop.
I've tried to stop so many times in my own and I, I can't, and I need, I need help.
(22:59):
And funny enough, I mean, that person did what they could, did what they knew how to do.
But I, there was another friend from my childhood that I grew up next door to
who picked me up and took me to the hospital and had me speak to a social worker.
So this was on record. This is on my medical record now. I'm not messing around.
(23:21):
Had me speak to a social worker and start the journey towards the help that I needed.
It's not, it's also surprisingly hard for people to get.
Rehabilitation for drugs and alcohol. I say from firsthand experience,
it wasn't easy to just walk in somewhere and say, I need to go to rehab.
(23:43):
And they're like, okay, here's a place. You know, it's like,
no, you're doing too many substances or you're not doing enough or it costs
this much money or, you know, it's prohibitive in this way.
Anyway, all that to say, that was the last straw.
And I don't think it was anything huge. It was just like, I've had enough.
I can't do this anymore. I'm sick all the time. I'm broke. I'm exhausted.
(24:06):
I don't want to live this way anymore. I want to feel, I just want to be happy and healthy.
I mentioned to you that I was an elementary school teacher for 23 years.
I've seen all walks of learning modalities,
particularly with students I had sprinkled with autism, students that OCD,
(24:29):
ADD, ADHD, PhD, you name it, I've taught it.
And I remember talking to this one student who was a third grader,
and she had executive functioning.
She really struggled in that department. And she kept her self-esteem was just
being pulverized by her parents.
(24:50):
You need to do this. So one day I was talking to her, and I said,
you know, if you have a hard time organizing your desk or your bedroom or whatever it is.
That might be true, but what's the good thing about being disorganized?
(25:11):
And she looked at me like, Mr. Frederick, that's the weirdest question I've ever asked.
And I said, no, no, no, no, no. You're not a victim.
You choose to be disorganized. and
if you're okay with that what's wrong with that
and what has it gotten you today how has it benefited you so evie my question
(25:35):
to you is through all the darkness or all the mud that you've slogged through
emotionally physically mentally what was the
benefit? What was the positives?
And I know that might be hard to answer. It isn't. Well, maybe it is.
(25:56):
I think, you know, a lot of the time I think back on before things got really dark.
They got dark, but for a while I had a lot of fun.
I went to so many concerts. I went to festivals.
I traveled. I had fun with my friends. I was having a good time.
(26:17):
I probably wasn't doing the best, you know, for my body, but I did have a lot
of fun and I experienced a lot through all of it.
I made a lot of, you know, I met and made a lot of really good friends and people. And I also think.
It gives me a lot more compassion and understanding for people that are currently
(26:40):
suffering from addiction.
I can look at people in a different way than, you know, because I think a lot,
it has helped me to understand people in a different way and also be able to share that.
You know, we do this thing on KEXP that you may have heard called Music Heals,
where we dedicate a day of programming to talking about different things that
(27:02):
are happening in our community,
things like dealing with cancer or dealing with grief or mental health.
And one of the days we do is on addiction and recovery.
And they're extremely powerful for me because I have this backstory,
(27:23):
because I have the knowledge, and because I can share.
It's super powerful. And there's been so many. We've done those.
I think I've done maybe four of those shows over the last five years, six years.
And every time I get emails from people saying, you inspired me to try.
I tried sobriety and now I'm six months, two years, that sort of thing.
(27:46):
And that is, I mean, I have goosebumps talking about it right now.
It's so, so it, it, there was a lot of darkness, but being able to come out
of that to the other side and now bring brightness into other people's lives is wonderful.
I also, I, you know, I do worry about my, my husband and I are both in recovery
(28:06):
and I do worry about my daughter.
Sometimes she has this sort of genetic predisposition for this to be in her
life, but I also think it gives me a good perspective for parenting.
And I think, you know, even with my nieces, I'm able to be honest with them
and tell them what life was like for me, what, what sort of my journey was like
and give them some perspective on perhaps why you shouldn't be doing any drugs.
(28:32):
Stick to sports. So your life from what you've shared thus far,
two-thirds of this conversation is somewhat of a cautionary tale.
I would say so. I mean, and like I said, I did have a lot of fun for quite a
while, or it seemed like fun.
(28:53):
I was having a good time. Probably should have been saving money and taking
better care of my health, I did experience a lot of fun and joy in my life.
Did you have any awareness that maybe as you were experiencing all of that,
flavor of life, the darker flavors of life, did you have any inkling in your
(29:16):
mind like, you know what?
When I come out of this, I'm going to actually be able to help people or not at all?
No inkling. Okay. Not even one. Yeah. Okay. So I'm glad that that has become a reality. Yeah.
And one might say that was kind of meant to be, maybe. I think so.
(29:37):
I think it worked out well.
And you're still struggling a little bit. Yeah. But that's okay, right?
I mean, we all struggle. Yeah. Kirstie Almeida, a wonderful musician,
talks about these struggles as being our mental dragons.
We all have them. And they're always going to be there. But we always have that sword ready to go.
(30:03):
We just can't be so afraid to use it.
And sometimes using that sword is the truth. And we all know what the truth
feels like sometimes. It sucks. It sure does.
But it certainly sets us free, doesn't it?
Thank you so much for really being an open book with regards to such an impactful, seminal experience.
(30:30):
It really is a joy for me to share. And it's good in the way that I think sharing,
if people are comfortable with it, is powerful in a lot of ways.
I think it feels really good to get it off your chest and just be as honest
as you possibly can because, you know, as they say, secrets keep you sick.
(30:55):
So I think sharing and openness and honesty and just being raw and real is good for me.
And it's also good for the people who need to hear it.
Because I was once upon a time in a place where I wanted to be clean and sober
and I didn't know how to start.
I didn't know where to turn. There was people that helped me in the process.
(31:16):
So I would have liked to hear a story from someone like me.
Yeah, it feels good to talk about it. With those experiences,
before we get into your work at KEXP, how have they made you a better mother?
Oh, boy.
(31:38):
Well, I'm grateful every day of my life because with the substances I was using,
it could have been taken away very easily.
And I truly did not think, A, that I was going to have kids,
or B, that I could have kids.
I just had convinced myself that I didn't even have that option.
(32:05):
So I'm grateful that I kept, you know, that I'm still here.
And I'm just grateful that for every single day that I have with my kid,
she's wonderful. waterfall.
I wish I could say it taught me more about patience, but that one I'm still learning.
But like I mentioned, it gives me this past,
(32:27):
my past experiences give me a whole different outlook on what it's like to be
a person in the world and what sort of things are ahead,
what sort of things you will have to deal with and how to better take on those
life experiences other than just getting wasted.
(32:53):
Do you hold resentment towards your parents?
I don't. I wish that things could have been a little bit different in my childhood,
but I think becoming a parent released a lot of the...
Resentment that I held. Because you understand how hard it is?
(33:16):
Yes. Yeah. And I can only, you know, I only have one child. I can only imagine
how hard it would be to have four.
But yes, it really, becoming a parent really healed a lot of that for me and
helped me understand my parents as people
a lot more okay wow
(33:39):
there's so many different tree branches
limbs that we could go off on but
i certainly want to honor the third
part of our conversation and again this stems from the book that i was sharing
with you arthur c brooks the art and build the life you want the art and science
(34:03):
of getting happier the third part third pillar he talks about is work.
Intrinsically how do we value our worth through the work that we do painter
teacher doctor lawyer doesn't matter and within the work are we creating so
(34:23):
let's get to that right now All righty.
There is a band that I learned that you love, and that's a band that I love, Dead Can Dance.
It's a great title for a band. Many people don't think about it,
but it's kind of like the two worlds of death and life merging and all the intricacies
(34:46):
that come sprinkling throughout their music.
Music so what is
it about music that speaks to your heart and when did you realize wow this is
having a major impact on the way that i behave and the way i interact and all
(35:06):
those good things that music can do well i have.
Loved music so much as long as I can remember.
And, you know, it's hard for me to tell how music feels or moves other people.
But for me, it was just like it, it felt like just sort of all consuming.
(35:31):
It felt like I, I'll give examples.
When I was much younger, my dad was very into to music.
Loved his stereos. Always had like the newest cutting edge stereo.
He always had a great stereo in his car and he would drive me around.
When he would get it installed, he'd drive me around and like play the Blade
(35:53):
Runner soundtrack at, you know, top volume just to show me how cool it was.
He also, he, you know, he had like a CD player with a, a record function before anybody else did.
So I was making mixtapes, but I think, you know, he would let me do things for me.
(36:15):
The biggest joy was we're going on a road trip. We're going skiing.
We're, you know, we would go on a lot, a lot of hiking and skiing and mountain
biking and all that kind of stuff in my life, in my childhood, lots of road trips.
For me, my favorite thing in the world was I got to pick the CDs for the drive
or the, you know, it was tapes, but it sort of, as I, in my younger childhood, it became CDs.
(36:40):
I got to pick the CDs. I got to take each one of them out of its case and put
them in the little, you know, the travel sleeves and, and then decide what we
were going to listen to at different parts of the drive.
And my dad would give me full reign. And I grew up religious,
or in a religious family, I should say.
(37:02):
I wasn't allowed to listen to any music.
Wasn't pre-chosen by my family. So I was allowed to listen to the oldies station
or the Christian station or the things that my dad listened to.
So that was Tears for Fears, U2, Joshua Tree specifically.
(37:26):
What else? Paul Simon's Graceland. Yeah.
All the good stuff. I, you know, there's more. Eurythmics, so much Eurythmics.
The Annie Lennox Diva album are all, Dead Can Dance was another one.
My dad was a big Dead Can Dance listener.
So I mean, it was, I wanted to be listening to the things that other kids were
(37:50):
listening to, but I was also listening to the best of the best.
You know, like that was peak late eighties, early nineties.
And it wasn't like Like he was listening, you know, the carpenters, bless them.
But there's, you know, some people's parents weren't as cool.
Wow. Yeah. My parents are arts, art students. They're both artists.
(38:14):
Okay. They met at Cornish and they were very, very hip.
Very cool. Very into art and culture and interior design and fashion. And yeah.
It was a kind of cool childhood in that way. Well, my goodness.
I mean, just to hear that your father appreciated Dead Can Dance.
(38:39):
Fantastic. And do you remember Deep Forest? Oh, yeah. Yeah.
He was very into Deep Forest, too. And so then so was I.
Just, yeah, he's got great taste. His favorite album of all time is the Traffic album.
High Spark of Low, Spark of High Heel something. I can't remember.
(39:04):
That's his favorite album of all time.
Thanks, Dad.
I'm going to read to you another passage from Build the Life You Want.
Respond how you like. With regards to your work at KEXP.
Career goals. You might be a person who absolutely loves her or his work,
(39:31):
has a completely healthy work-life balance,
and can't think of anything that could make this part of life better.
Wait, you're not! You're not? In truth, most people are more or less okay with
their jobs, but don't seem as an enormous source of satisfaction.
(39:56):
They don't know how to make things a lot better, though, and thus leave this
part of life good enough.
In 2022, for example, just 16% of employees were very satisfied with their work.
37% were somewhat satisfied. Everyone else said they were somewhat dissatisfied
(40:19):
or very dissatisfied or said, I'm just glad to have a job.
How would you answer this? I would say I'm very satisfied. Yes. Yeah. Ellen?
Well, music, as I've just mentioned, has always been extremely important to
(40:39):
me. and I get to go into work and,
and play a mix of music, whatever I want. There's no rules.
As long as I play some new music, they have those guidelines.
I got to play some new music. I got to play some stuff that people recognize.
I got to take some requests.
I can play whatever I want. For three hours, I just get into a flow state and
(41:03):
mix things on the fly, whatever sounds good, whatever's corresponding with the
day. It's sunny outside. You play songs about sun.
Somebody's had a loss in their life. They want a HeroQuest, you can play that.
So there's that aspect of it. The music, because music is, you know,
my lifeblood. I love it so much.
But there's also the fact that KEXP has this incredible community of people.
(41:28):
So I have people that listen from all over the world.
And every time I'm on air, people are checking in. How was your week?
Here's what I'm making for dinner.
Here's my kid had a birthday, or here's a picture of my cat laying in the sun.
So I have all these friends that I get to check in with, you know,
it was right now, my show is on Sunday afternoons. And it's a time that people
(41:49):
really spend with their family.
And I spend getting ready for the week. It has a lot of people listening as,
you know, part of their routine.
And so I get to interact with my friends. These people are all my friends at
this point, I get to interact with all my friends.
But then there's also, as I mentioned before, for. There's things like the Music Heals Days.
There's the fact that I have a platform to talk to people about the importance
(42:12):
of recovery, the importance of mental health.
It's rewarding in that way.
And frankly, I didn't plan to be a KEXP DJ.
I didn't plan. This wasn't my lifelong goal.
It's something that blossomed over time and became what it is.
And it is something that is just just perfect for me.
(42:35):
I just happened to find a job that is exactly what I needed.
I'm blessed in that way. I should say also that right now my show is on Sundays,
and I've been a part-time employee at KEXP for 10 years.
Starting the end of July, this will be my full-time job.
And in the meantime, over the last 10 years, I've had.
(43:00):
Jobs, lots of jobs trying to support. So I've, I've done event planning.
I've done restaurant management.
I've done, I've, I worked for a yogurt company.
I did, I worked in banquets, lots of customer service work, as you can tell.
But for the last seven years, I've been working as an executive assistant at
(43:23):
a law firm for two attorneys, which are the partners at the firm.
And it's been the longest I've held a job other than KEXP.
I started, you know, right as I got sober. So I have, I also have this job in
the background, which is ending soon.
So I have the perspective of my job's okay.
(43:43):
I like the people I work with. My job's okay.
But I also have the KEXP where it's just like, I mean, the people I work with,
I love them. The people I talk to every day, I love them.
The music, being able to curate a soundtrack for people's lives for three hours a day.
Absolutely love it. So I have nothing bad to say about my job.
(44:07):
That's wonderful to hear, by the way. Thank you.
Congratulations on this upcoming gig starting in July. Drive time. Drive time.
You're taking and filling in some big shoes.
I sure am. Mr. Cole. Yeah. Kevin is wonderful.
And he's moving into my spot. He's going to move into Sunday afternoons.
(44:30):
And I'm excited to see what he does with it.
So when I spoke with Morgan, DJ Morgan, a year ago, year and a half ago, it was very palpable.
It was very evident how much...
XP means to her what is meant to
her in terms of this community
(44:53):
this love this affinity for
one another and how you look out for one another and take care of each other
it doesn't seem like a place of where individuals are grandstanding in a manner
that mmm kind of makes them look a little bit more superior.
(45:16):
And she really expressed all these wonderful verbal accolades for this organization.
And you're doing the same thing.
So you realize, I know you already know this, how lucky you are because someone
right now and once banging down that door wants your job.
(45:38):
I know. I, you know, I, I volunteered at KEXP for.
10 years before it's starting
in 2007 so it was maybe eight years before i
got a job i wanted that so bad you put in your time i did and i loved it yeah
(45:58):
okay so imagine it's sunday or you know let's flash forward it's drive time
starting in july i want you to listen to this and i want you
to think about sharing the ritual of being a DJ at KEXP.
(46:19):
Here we go. This is written by Twyla Tharp, The Creative Habit,
Learn It and Use It for Life.
This section's all about rituals.
A ritual. The Oxford English Dictionary tells me it's a prescribed order of
performing religious or other devotional service.
(46:41):
All that applies to my morning ritual. Thinking of a ritual has a transforming effect on the activity.
Turning something into a ritual eliminates the question, why am I doing this?
By the time I give the taxi driver directions, it's too late to wonder why I'm
(47:02):
going to the gym and not snoozing under the warm covers of my bed.
The cab is moving. I'm committed. admitted, like it or not, I am going to the
gym, the ritual erases the question of whether or not I like it.
It's also a friendly reminder that I'm doing the right thing.
(47:22):
I've done it before. It was good. I'll do it again.
So what's the ritual for your role as a DJ? Well, I do have the same ritual.
I do have a ritual. So I get to KEXP about two and a half hours early.
I set up my lunch. I bring my lunch with me, set it up, and I go through and
(47:48):
listen to as much of the new music that they put in our rotation as possible.
So as DJs, we're required to play a certain amount of new music and they break
them up by heavy, medium, light.
So we have to play a few from heavy, few from medium, one from light.
(48:09):
And we have hundreds and hundreds of releases that come through KEXP every week
from our music director who filters them down to us and then we have to filter
them down even further. So I listened to music for probably two hours.
Give songs probably about five to 10 seconds before I skip on to the next one.
(48:30):
And I listen and listen and just find what I want. I look through all the anniversaries
and the birthdays for the day, see if there's anybody I want to honor, any music I want to play.
I come up with my about first four or five songs, depending on the set that I want to play.
And then I go from there. I never wear shoes when I'm DJing.
(48:50):
That's something you should know about me.
I'm always in my socks why just comfort
comfort and also i am
tall so in our booth is made
for short people it feels so the less height the less i have to you know hunch
over so i just wear my shoes it's cozy or i don't wear my shoes i wear my socks
(49:13):
and i have an assistant that works with me every Sunday right now. His name's Jim.
We talk before we get a little spreadsheet ready with, you know,
so I can keep track of requests and then it's, it's game time, baby.
3 PM. Boom. Okay. So let's rewind a little bit. No pun intended.
(49:38):
So you're going through all this library of music. You're listening to these
songs, five, 10 seconds. Okay.
Listening for melodic hooks are you looking
listening to strong intros like what
is it that obviously probably depends day to
day it does depend day to day but usually i'm i the thing is too is we're we're
(50:01):
they're giving us whole albums so we're having to listen through to all the
tracks and i i do this thing where i like to listen to the last song first on
the album and And sort of see what it sounds like and then,
you know, go through whichever the recommended tracks are.
But I find that I will discover a lot of hidden gems by going to that last track first.
(50:24):
Because people will a lot of the time use their last track as an outro and it'll
be a big, heavy, beautiful song.
But I listen to the first little bit of the song. I'll skip through to the middle.
And if it sounds like something that I enjoy, I'll keep listening or I'll put
it on a playlist and play it. But there's not one specific thing that I'm looking for.
(50:46):
It's not like melody or beat or anything. It's just like, does it sound good?
Sound like something I like? Great. I'll play it.
So what are the challenges that come for your responsibilities?
Trying to keep up with music. A lot of the time it's hard, especially since
I only do one show a week and only have three hours to showcase all the new
(51:07):
music that I enjoy or that I find. Keeping up with music can be hard.
I also get a ton of submissions from artists from all over the world directly to my email.
So having to sort through those and listen to a lot of amateur recordings and things can be a lot.
And trying to fit everything that I love, all the new music,
(51:30):
all the old recognizable music, all the birthdays, all the anniversaries,
and all the requests and the shout outs and everything.
It can be hard to get into just one three-hour show a week. Like when you were
actually live, how does that, I would get a sense.
I mean, you probably are thriving on that energy because things are moving fast.
(51:53):
So take us right inside that live moment. What's happening?
Oh man. Yes. I've, I've had to come to terms with the fact that a lot of adrenaline
is coursing through my veins as I've gotten older and realized I need to be a little bit more zen.
Zen to keep my cortisol levels not so abnormal at the time.
(52:15):
But yes, you're, you are. So at all times, like I told you, everything's on the fly. So, um.
Sometimes I will have an idea of like, okay, well, this will sound good with the song after it.
But then that song's playing and you can't listen to the song that you love
because you have to figure out what the next song is going to be.
And the whole time you're DJing, but you're also updating a playlist that populates
(52:41):
in real time with the songs that are on air.
So you're having to manage that. Thankfully, you have an assistant that can
help you with the comments and whatnot.
You're also responding to emails and responding to text messages because both
of those come in from listeners and trying to, people will request the most
(53:01):
obscure shit you've ever heard in your life.
And you have to listen, you're having to like, okay, I've never heard the song.
I got to listen to it. I had to figure out if there's any, you know, if it's FCC friendly.
So it can feel a little bit like flying a small plane at
times over the years
though you know at first when i
(53:21):
first started doing it it was extremely overwhelming and
i was extremely nervous all the time but
it's gotten you know it's become an art over the
years it's a little easier now but there's
days where you're like sometimes i'll be
like you know what let's just play all songs about space for
no reason at all there's a you know maybe
(53:44):
there's an anniversary of an astronaut let's play
songs about space the whole show and your
messages and requests will be i'm able like hundreds and hundreds and hundreds
of messages and you can't keep up and that those days are a little bit more
stressful than the others but so what in your opinion what makes a good dj,
(54:09):
I think an excellent taste in music, an excellent taste in music, and a relatable...
With no ego what about
a voice i think a voice is pretty important
too i you know not every dj that i love has the most commanding or calming voice
(54:31):
though but you know what's funny is that now in everyday life when i hear people
talk i will think that person would sound really good on air.
There's certain people in my life that I've sussed that out.
Yeah. I love getting greater insight and perspective and a lens into this KEXP world.
(54:56):
It's fascinating. And I'm sure there's so many other layers and elements to
it that we just don't have time for.
But anything else you'd like to tell the listeners about KEXP,
go for it well i just think people should know that right now the music industry is,
(55:17):
changing evolving and some things are in a tailspin and it's more important
now than ever that you are an active supporter and listener to public radio
and that you support independent
artists and independent stations, whenever you can.
(55:37):
KEXP is, you know, is bigger than it's ever been. It's thriving more than it's ever been.
But just whatever, you know, whatever public radio station it is that you enjoy,
that you love, it's important that you support them or anything in the arts, really.
And to all the listeners out there, I had
the the great fortune of visiting the studio did
(55:59):
one of the studio tours with my best friend pre-covid and
i absolutely loved it and the outro
of that experience is that and i
didn't realize this for some reason it was gonna drop me off
right at the record store inside that building yeah so coffee photography records
(56:22):
kexp studio tour highly recommend it to everybody it's very fun anyone wants
to come you can hit me up and i'll take you on a tour oh so good okay,
evie we're going to do our encore part of this conversation i want to do you,
(56:45):
to share one two three albums for our listeners that you recommend sure do you
want them to be new old does it matter doesn't matter if it's the carpenters traffic.
Okay hansen i don't care i did love hansen okay well i'll tell you a current
(57:06):
one that i'm listening to is from the bound band mount kimby they have a new
album out called the sunset violent Island.
Mount Kimby is a really cool band that's, you know, they've been putting out
records for years, but they've now turned into a four piece band and they're sort of going from,
(57:27):
being a more electronic band to now being more indie rock.
And the result is very cool. They have some cool collaborators in this album, like King Cruel.
Nice. This is something that I've been listening to a lot lately.
And, you know, Going back to what I was saying about so much adrenaline in my
(57:47):
life comes along with DJing and trying to just keep my zen a little bit more.
I've been trying to listen to things that are a little bit calmer lately in
the last few months of my life.
Dealing with some weird health issues and just trying to be peaceful,
be more peaceful every day.
(58:07):
I've been listening to this album a ton. So if you need vibes like that in your
life, I think this is a good way to turn. Love it.
I'm trying to think of something maybe wouldn't have heard there is a new record
from a Seattle band called some surprises it's a new shoegaze record from a
(58:30):
Seattle band yes very very good,
I think the I'm gonna look right now before I say the wrong thing the best track
on the album is called Be Reasonable.
It's beautiful. It's six and a half minutes long.
(58:50):
That's another good one, new one for people to check out.
And then when I think of, you know, a list of my favorites of all time,
there's the hitters, like the songs from The Big Chair and The Joshua Tree and
Graceland and all the things we were talking about before that are big from my childhood.
But I think I think the Post record from Bjork, if you're not a Bjork lover
(59:16):
yet and you, where do I start? Start with Post.
Then go to Debut. Yes. Then listen to the Sugar Cubes. Yes.
Stick around for joy. Yes. But I think Bjork's post is, it's also slightly nostalgic
for me, but I think is just as good as a, as good as a record could get. I'm a big trip hop girl.
(59:40):
I love that, that, that whole genre and that whole time in music in the early,
early to mid nineties where, you know, they were all working on each other's records.
Nelly Hooper was in everybody's records and Tricky was producing and Bjork was
guesting and producing and you can see that sound on so many records,
(01:00:02):
but Bjork's post is one of my all-time favorites. Yeah.
Heard it listeners get on the lightning round here we go i'm just gonna rattle
some stuff off you just tell the listeners what comes to mind you ready a place
you'd love to visit iceland.
It ties in with it there's a lot of places i'd
(01:00:24):
love to visit but that's the first place that came to mind something that
feels slightly overrated to you oh slightly
overrated mayo last great
movie you saw oh my gosh hold
on i i think i i think it's hold on one second okay last great movie i saw was
(01:00:48):
thelma i saw it last night at the The SIF 50th anniversary opening night.
It was the premiere of the movie Thelma. And it was incredible.
The entire theater was cracking up the entire time.
Really, really, really good. And can't recommend it enough. I think it's out
in theaters in a few weeks.
(01:01:11):
A musician you would love to have coffee with at your favorite cafe.
Liam Gallagher. Nice. It would be so entertaining, don't you think?
It would be a really, really entertaining conversation.
I've often wondered, does he talk like the way he sings? Yeah.
(01:01:32):
Vinyl, CD, or cassette? Hmm.
Vinyl. Vinyl if it's for home listening.
CD if I only have those three options for DJing.
Taylor Swift, Beyonce, or Wonder Woman? Beyonce.
Seattle Mariners. What about them? Just tell me what comes to your mind. They play baseball.
(01:02:00):
Sonic Boom Records.
Wonderful. A restaurant you'd recommend in Seattle.
Okay, well, I can tell you there's lots. There's so many. But if you're looking
for a really good burger, are you looking for a good burger?
I'm always on the hunt for a good burger. Always.
I would visit Giddy Up Burgers in Ballard.
(01:02:22):
I'll talk to my friend about it. Okay. And especially if you have kids,
it's a very kid-friendly place if you want it to be. They have really great burgers.
They really have good draft beers for people who want that sort of thing.
They have a frozen yogurt bar.
But it's all really good. Giddy Up Burgers in Ballard.
(01:02:45):
Kurt Cobain. Eddie Vedder. Eddie Vedder.
Morgan love her absolutely love her DJ Jewel absolutely love her too sushi or
Thai food Thai food one of the best concerts you've ever seen Daft Punk at Coachella in 2007,
(01:03:08):
nice yeah look you already rattled off like that yeah I have a tattoo on my
arm that is in commemoration of that I saw them three times on that tour it
was a big thing anyway Last one.
You told me a great deal about you in an hour and 12 minutes.
(01:03:28):
This suitcase that you've carried with you for so many years,
filled with incredible experiences, highs and lows, everything that life has to offer.
I want to know who is EB Stokes now?
I am, I, I'm a woman who is, you know, I just turned 40 at the age of 40 is
(01:03:56):
finally seeing her dreams come true.
I'm in a happy, really, I'm in a happy, loving relationship with a person.
I, I really love so much.
I have a daughter who I am so dedicated to.
And so I just love so much. and I just got my dream job, I'm finally feeling
(01:04:17):
comfortable with who I am and where I am in life, and it feels really, really good.
Yeah, I hear it. Evie Stokes, thank you so much. And can you remind the listeners
when they can check out your show?
Yes. So every Sunday, 3 to 6 p.m. Pacific time on KEXP, you can listen online
at kexp.org or through our apps.
(01:04:40):
And then starting July 30th, I will be on Tuesdays through Fridays from 4 to
7 p.m. Pacific time as the new host of Drive Time.
This has been an extremely illuminating, educational, entertaining conversation with Evie Stokes.
I greatly appreciate, again, what I said earlier,
(01:05:03):
your willingness to open the pages changes to your life for people to hear and
read with their ears and as the great dj kexp says.
You're not alone.
True yeah thank you for being such an inspiration my name is w also known as
(01:05:27):
william host of the The High Art on the Edge page, host of SurpriseCast. Take care, everyone.
And remember, great music is always out there. You just have to keep your ears open. Thank you.
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