November 17, 2025 • 21 mins
Taylor’s track 6 from The Life of a Showgirl takes us straight back to high school! Our narrator spins a tale about a teenage crush, her apprehension in exploring their chemistry, and speaking up only after it's too late.
From Gallatin Road to the Lakeside Beach, these two teenage besties neglected their romantic connection and played it safe in the friend zone. But after one of them dies, we can see that this tale is really an allegory about speaking up and speaking now.
This episode of the Swiftly Sung Stories podcast breaks down Ruin the Friendship line by line. We’ll discuss how Taylor uses imagery, metaphors, and her classic narrative storytelling techniques to paint a picture of regret, rumination, and ruining your own chances at happiness.
✨ Swiftly Sung Stories dives deep into Taylor Swift’s storytelling craft, exploring her lyrics through the lens of literature, emotion, and the art of songwriting.
📚 Subscribe for more Taylor Swift lyric analysis, literary breakdowns, and storytelling deep dives.
✏️ Check out my website with annotated lyrics, quizzes & more: SwiftlySungStories.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
I'm your host, Jen.
I am your Swifty English teacher, and today we are tackling Track six in my track by track analysis of the life of Showgirl.
We're gonna dive straight into Ruin the Friendship.
The song showcases Taylor's narrative Storytelling with this Tale of a childhood friend gone too soon and the regret she experiences having never explored a romantic relationship with them.
(00:23):
But what's the song really getting at? We're gonna find out together.
In my last few episodes, I analyzed Taylor's prologue poem and the first five tracks of this album.
So go check those out because it lays a lot of groundwork for what we're about to get into, all of these themes that Taylor's exploring in these lyrics.
And a quick PSA.
All of this content is available on my website if you want the text version with the annotated lyrics that you'll see on the screen in YouTube.
(00:46):
And if you're watching this on YouTube, you can also find me wherever you get your podcasts and vice versa.
Okay.
Let's lay a little groundwork first on the themes within a song, and then we will roll into my dissection of Ruin the Friendship line by line. 15 00:01:02,615.848659031 --> 00:01:08,315.848659031 Welcome to swiftly sung Stories where we unpack the Taylor Swift Universe one era album and lyric at a time. 16 00:01:08,495.848659031 --> 00:01:12,815.848659031 Think of it like English class, but it's all Taylor Swift and none of the boring stuff. 17 00:01:13,265.848659031 --> 00:01:18,665.848659031 I'm Jen, your Swifty English teacher and classes in session, so come on in and meet me in the margins. 18 00:01:18,951.848659031 --> 00:01:27,21.848659031 Ruin the friendship is really a narrative about regret, where our narrator looks back on all of these opportunities she missed and the roads not taken. 19 00:01:27,681.848659031 --> 00:01:34,431.848659031 It ties into these major themes that run throughout the album, and it explores this duality of self and the different versions of herself. 20 00:01:34,431.848659031 --> 00:01:39,651.848659031 In a lot of songs on this album, Taylor's exploring the Road Not Taken and the song is no different. 21 00:01:39,771.848659031 --> 00:01:44,181.84865903 In the fate of Ophelia, she wonders what would've happened had this new person not coming to her life. 22 00:01:44,751.84865903 --> 00:01:50,1.84865903 In Elizabeth Taylor, she wonders how the story ends and how much control she has over her fate. 23 00:01:50,691.84865903 --> 00:01:55,941.84865903 In Opalite, she asked what would've been if she hadn't opened herself up to accepting joy, et cetera. 24 00:01:55,971.84865903 --> 00:01:56,661.84865903 Goes on and on. 25 00:01:56,691.84865903 --> 00:02:03,261.84865903 So what a lot of this album is, is about the showgirl versus the girl, these two parts of herself. 26 00:02:03,321.84865903 --> 00:02:09,111.84865903 And the rest is really about what would've could've, should have happened had she chosen another path. 27 00:02:09,111.84865903 --> 00:02:11,571.84865903 So Ruin the Friendship is in this sort of. 28 00:02:11,706.84865903 --> 00:02:13,116.84865903 Second vein of themes. 29 00:02:13,116.84865903 --> 00:02:20,76.84865903 It's the road less traveled by and it zooms in on one relationship in particular in the past that she regrets not exploring. 30 00:02:20,796.84865903 --> 00:02:24,876.84865903 We're back to a high school setting and she describes how special this friendship is. 31 00:02:25,356.84865903 --> 00:02:28,666.84865903 But then after she grows up and moves on, she learns that this old friend has died. 32 00:02:29,766.84865903 --> 00:02:39,576.84865903 She has written about this subject before in Forever Winter on Red, which was rumored to be inspired about a high school friend Jeff Lang, who died just as she was releasing Speak Now. 33 00:02:40,416.84865903 --> 00:02:45,666.84865903 Now ruin the Friendship, could be partially about Jeff Lang, but in the release Party of a Showgirl. 34 00:02:45,666.84865903 --> 00:02:52,296.84865903 She says that this song was sort of an amalgamation of her own experiences and her friends' experiences. 35 00:02:52,296.84865903 --> 00:03:01,236.84865903 But overall, this song is mostly just about regret and taking chances and what we lose when we leave childhood behind and we have to grow up. 36 00:03:01,986.84865903 --> 00:03:04,626.84865903 Okay, let's roll right into the first verse. 37 00:03:04,626.84865903 --> 00:03:05,256.84865903 Quick caveat. 38 00:03:05,256.84865903 --> 00:03:07,116.84865903 This is just all my opinion. 39 00:03:07,116.84865903 --> 00:03:08,766.84865903 You can have your own opinions about this. 40 00:03:08,766.84865903 --> 00:03:14,796.84865903 That's why art is so cool and why it's so fun to dissect, because it has so many different meanings for different people. 41 00:03:15,366.84865903 --> 00:03:23,616.84865903 I try not to talk about Taylor's personal life unless it really informs the song and unless it provides crucial context that we need to understand the lyrics. 42 00:03:24,6.84865903 --> 00:03:25,86.84865903 Alright, let's go. 43 00:03:25,86.84865903 --> 00:03:31,866.84865903 So the first verse begins with glistening grass from September rain gray overpass full of neon names. 44 00:03:32,586.84865903 --> 00:03:36,906.84865903 So we're plopped right into the middle of this narrative with some contrasting imagery. 45 00:03:37,26.84865903 --> 00:03:43,176.84865903 There's the glistening grass, which conjures this fresh fall morning, maybe the start of a new school year. 46 00:03:43,656.84865903 --> 00:03:48,876.84865903 But then she juxtaposes this with this gray, dull highway imagery. 47 00:03:49,631.84865903 --> 00:04:03,281.84865903 So the neon names could be graffiti, it could be the business signs dotted along the highway, but all of Taylor's imagery is purposeful and neon names reminds us of a very similar piece of imagery she used in the lucky one. 48 00:04:04,61.84865903 --> 00:04:05,741.84865903 Another name goes up in lights. 49 00:04:05,861.84865903 --> 00:04:07,451.84865903 You wonder if you'll make it out alive. 50 00:04:07,451.84865903 --> 00:04:13,601.84865903 If we read into it this way, it's sort of subtly foreshadowing what's to come for our narrator. 51 00:04:13,601.84865903 --> 00:04:19,511.84865903 Her name will go up in lights, but it also kind of foreshadows what will happen to her friend. 52 00:04:19,571.84865903 --> 00:04:21,821.84865903 His name will metaphorically burnout. 53 00:04:23,786.84865903 --> 00:04:25,76.84865903 You drive 85. 54 00:04:25,256.84865903 --> 00:04:26,126.84865903 She continues. 55 00:04:26,366.84865903 --> 00:04:27,656.84865903 So he's got the pedal to the metal. 56 00:04:27,656.84865903 --> 00:04:41,516.84865903 He's zipping through this fall, Tennessee day, and this implies a kind of carelessness and riskiness and contrasts with how our narrator is super careful in taking chances throughout this whole story. 57 00:04:42,611.84865903 --> 00:04:45,491.84865903 But the setting, just like the imagery is also purposeful. 58 00:04:45,671.84865903 --> 00:04:56,771.84865903 And cars and driving are really common metaphors in Taylor's world, especially in her earlier albums where the road often symbolizes paths we take or don't take. 59 00:04:57,311.84865903 --> 00:05:03,371.84865903 Here they are driving down this road of life together, but soon their paths will diverge. 60 00:05:04,631.84865903 --> 00:05:06,371.84865903 Gallatin Road in Lakeside Beach. 61 00:05:06,431.84865903 --> 00:05:13,181.84865903 She goes on, and this is name checking particular points in Hendersonville, Tennessee, where Taylor spent parts of her teen years. 62 00:05:13,931.84865903 --> 00:05:17,981.84865903 So what this does is anchors her story in the real world. 63 00:05:17,981.84865903 --> 00:05:21,881.84865903 It's making it feel as though this situation really happened to her. 64 00:05:22,841.84865903 --> 00:05:24,911.84865903 And whether it did or not is beside the point. 65 00:05:24,911.84865903 --> 00:05:29,621.84865903 It's a storytelling device that she's using to give us the perception of reality. 66 00:05:30,791.84865903 --> 00:05:32,981.84865903 So we've got it all in these first few lines. 67 00:05:32,981.84865903 --> 00:05:37,271.84865903 We've got characters, we've got setting, we've got imagery, and we have a central metaphor. 68 00:05:37,271.84865903 --> 00:05:39,311.84865903 They're driving down this road of life together. 69 00:05:40,511.84865903 --> 00:05:46,211.84865903 Then she recalls this other nostalgic moment with this friend watching the game from your brother's Jeep. 70 00:05:47,531.84865903 --> 00:05:57,691.84865903 She's painting a portrait of this normal small town everyday life, but in retrospect, it will look like just another moment that she let pass her by. 71 00:05:58,61.84865903 --> 00:05:59,921.84865903 You don't know what you've got till it's gone. 72 00:05:59,921.84865903 --> 00:06:01,361.84865903 As Joni Mitchell would say. 73 00:06:02,351.84865903 --> 00:06:10,181.84865903 So now they're sitting in the Jeep in this rural, small town America Day, but then she notices your smile miles wide. 74 00:06:10,871.84865903 --> 00:06:16,151.84865903 His smile and the emotions it stirs in her is what made this moment magical. 75 00:06:16,631.84865903 --> 00:06:29,81.84865903 In describing his smile as miles wide also ties into the previous road and driving imagery and metaphors, but this also foreshadows the darker end of the road that's ahead. 76 00:06:29,81.84865903 --> 00:06:32,21.84865903 The first chorus begins, and it was not an invitation. 77 00:06:32,411.84865903 --> 00:06:38,111.84865903 Should have kissed you anyway, should have kissed you anyway, and she's talking about his smile here. 78 00:06:38,111.84865903 --> 00:06:44,561.84865903 Even though it was alluring and it could have been this magical moment, she wasn't invited to kiss him, so she didn't. 79 00:06:45,816.84865903 --> 00:06:57,426.84865903 His smile will be the first in a list of three things in these lyrics that were not an invitation, but what she's getting at here is that she shouldn't have waited for an invitation. 80 00:06:57,606.84865903 --> 00:06:59,886.84865903 It's, and it's not just about the kiss. 81 00:06:59,886.84865903 --> 00:07:05,706.84865903 The larger meaning is that we shouldn't wait to express how we feel about important people in our lives. 82 00:07:05,706.84865903 --> 00:07:08,526.84865903 Like she said, in, you're on your own kid, take the moment and taste it. 83 00:07:08,856.84865903 --> 00:07:10,506.84865903 You've got no reason to be afraid. 84 00:07:10,506.84865903 --> 00:07:16,566.84865903 This is a big theme in the Taylor Swift universe, and she's even written an entire album about it called Speak Now. 85 00:07:17,46.84865903 --> 00:07:21,996.84865903 The song could actually fit perfectly on speak now, but she goes on and it was not convenient. 86 00:07:21,996.84865903 --> 00:07:24,66.84865903 No, but your girlfriend was away. 87 00:07:24,276.84865903 --> 00:07:32,706.84865903 Should have kissed you anyway, so it was a convenient time to kiss him, right? His girlfriend wasn't around to find out. 88 00:07:33,741.84865903 --> 00:07:39,891.84865903 But what's important is that the implications wouldn't have been convenient for anyone, anywhere at any time. 89 00:07:39,891.84865903 --> 00:07:42,501.84865903 She doesn't want the fallout and the drama. 90 00:07:43,371.84865903 --> 00:07:47,206.84865903 There was never a perfect time to disrupt their lives by ruining this friendship. 91 00:07:47,976.84865903 --> 00:07:48,816.84865903 But that's the point. 92 00:07:48,816.84865903 --> 00:07:58,236.84865903 She's looking back at all of these moments in hindsight, and what she's saying is that in our lives we will be faced with choices and it's never convenient to make these difficult decisions. 93 00:07:58,836.84865903 --> 00:08:01,776.84865903 But if we never take a chance, we will never know what could have been. 94 00:08:03,486.84865903 --> 00:08:09,216.84865903 The second verse begins with another anecdote, and we are moved to a different location in probably a different place in time. 95 00:08:09,876.84865903 --> 00:08:13,386.84865903 So she begins shiny wood floors underneath my feet. 96 00:08:13,716.84865903 --> 00:08:18,936.84865903 Disco ball makes everything look cheap, so we are now probably in a high school gym. 97 00:08:19,176.84865903 --> 00:08:30,966.84865903 The floors are glistening under these twirling lights of a disco ball, and this is really visceral imagery, especially if, if you've ever been to an American high school dance and the disco ball. 98 00:08:31,166.84865903 --> 00:08:37,706.84865903 Not the mirrorball, by the way, makes everything look cheap because it's trying to manufacture ambiance. 99 00:08:37,706.84865903 --> 00:08:40,166.84865903 It doesn't feel authentic or romantic. 100 00:08:40,166.84865903 --> 00:08:41,156.84865903 It feels staged. 101 00:08:41,816.84865903 --> 00:08:51,506.84865903 So she's looking around at all these depressing decorations in where she usually has her gym class, and it's this moment that's supposed to be the highlight of your teen years. 102 00:08:51,556.84865903 --> 00:08:54,76.84865903 And she says to herself, have fun. 103 00:08:54,436.84865903 --> 00:08:54,946.84865903 It's prom. 104 00:08:56,201.84865903 --> 00:09:00,971.84865903 They should feel joyful during what should be this epic moment of high school life. 105 00:09:01,1.84865903 --> 00:09:04,61.84865903 But it feels kind of empty and dead inside somehow. 106 00:09:05,21.84865903 --> 00:09:09,761.84865903 Could it be Possibly because they are there with the wrong dates? Yeah. 107 00:09:10,331.84865903 --> 00:09:12,731.84865903 That's why she continues with some more imagery. 108 00:09:13,121.84865903 --> 00:09:14,351.84865903 Wilted corsage. 109 00:09:14,351.84865903 --> 00:09:15,281.84865903 Dangles from my wrist. 110 00:09:16,421.84865903 --> 00:09:21,401.84865903 So there's another depressing detail which kind of mirrors how she feels about her date. 111 00:09:21,431.84865903 --> 00:09:31,121.84865903 We get the sense that he had placed this corsage on her wrist, and if it had been by the person she truly cared about it may have been a beautiful, bright, crisp. 112 00:09:31,721.84865903 --> 00:09:38,291.84865903 alive corsage, but it's, it's not, this can't help but remind me of another dead flower metaphor. 113 00:09:38,411.84865903 --> 00:09:51,671.84865903 When all the flowers that we'd grown together died of thirst from clean, taylor will often use flower and plant imagery and metaphors to describe growth and death, and this wilted corsage is no different. 114 00:09:52,421.84865903 --> 00:09:58,856.84865903 So you can imagine her dancing with her hand over her dates, shoulders, and she's looking at this sad corsage and she says. 115 00:09:59,591.84865903 --> 00:10:00,581.84865903 Over his shoulder. 116 00:10:00,731.84865903 --> 00:10:03,731.84865903 I catch a glimpse and see you looking at me. 117 00:10:04,721.84865903 --> 00:10:10,541.84865903 The only bright spot in this pale prom is his eyes and they share this knowing. 118 00:10:10,541.84865903 --> 00:10:15,131.84865903 Glance your eyes will always look toward what you want, and neither of them can look away. 119 00:10:16,136.84865903 --> 00:10:18,176.84865903 But there's always going to be something in the way. 120 00:10:18,176.84865903 --> 00:10:28,436.84865903 It seems before he was with his girlfriend that was emotionally an obstacle between them, and now it's her date and maybe his date, who is physically between them. 121 00:10:29,336.84865903 --> 00:10:31,16.84865903 But in hindsight, she kicks herself. 122 00:10:31,16.84865903 --> 00:10:35,546.84865903 She shouldn't have let those things get in the way just because the timing wasn't perfect. 123 00:10:36,926.84865903 --> 00:10:41,726.84865903 The second chorus begins the same way as the first, and it was not an invitation. 124 00:10:41,726.84865903 --> 00:10:49,136.84865903 Now, this is second on the list of things that weren't an invite, and this time she's talking about this knowing look that they share on the dance floor. 125 00:10:49,196.84865903 --> 00:10:54,116.84865903 That was not the invitation, but as the 50 cent song played, should have kissed you anyway. 126 00:10:55,126.84865903 --> 00:11:03,886.84865903 This is her second moment where she should have gone for it in moment, in a series of imperfect moments that she regrets not going after what she wanted. 127 00:11:04,606.84865903 --> 00:11:11,926.84865903 And the 50 cent song, although it sounds maybe a little corny, it adds another layer to this imperfection because they're dancing to a rap song. 128 00:11:12,286.84865903 --> 00:11:15,676.84865903 They're not dancing to a slow romantic ballad. 129 00:11:15,676.84865903 --> 00:11:20,416.84865903 This moment was far from perfect, but she should have gone for it anyway. 130 00:11:20,416.84865903 --> 00:11:22,381.84865903 Instead of letting this moment pass her by. 131 00:11:23,831.84865903 --> 00:11:25,451.84865903 And it was not convenient. 132 00:11:25,481.84865903 --> 00:11:31,61.84865903 She says this awkward moment at the prom, dancing to a rap song with the wrong person. 133 00:11:31,811.84865903 --> 00:11:41,621.84865903 There was a lot emotionally and physically standing between them, but we can picture her marching over to him, mid rap song, stealing him from his date and kissing him. 134 00:11:41,621.84865903 --> 00:11:49,331.84865903 It would've been far from convenient and it would've probably blown up their social lives, but it would've been the best mistake. 135 00:11:49,331.84865903 --> 00:11:51,701.84865903 She says, should've kissed you anyway. 136 00:11:51,701.84865903 --> 00:11:55,871.84865903 And when she's saying is it would've been the best mistake is that it wouldn't have been a mistake at all. 137 00:11:55,871.84865903 --> 00:11:58,301.84865903 It would've been perfectly purposeful. 138 00:11:58,961.84865903 --> 00:12:05,171.84865903 But what she's getting at is that she wouldn't look at it in hindsight as a mistake if she had gone through with it. 139 00:12:05,921.84865903 --> 00:12:09,251.84865903 So she wishes she could just go back in time and take that chance. 140 00:12:09,431.84865903 --> 00:12:14,801.84865903 But for now, she'll have to settle for living with her mistakes and all of the things left unsaid. 141 00:12:14,801.84865903 --> 00:12:20,861.84865903 In the refrain, we get to hear a few bits of her inner monologue during this time of high school turmoil. 142 00:12:21,461.84865903 --> 00:12:22,601.84865903 Don't make it awkward. 143 00:12:22,601.84865903 --> 00:12:27,71.84865903 In second period, she says to herself, back then might piss your ex off. 144 00:12:27,71.84865903 --> 00:12:28,301.84865903 Lately we've been good. 145 00:12:28,751.84865903 --> 00:12:30,761.84865903 So she saying to herself, don't make it weird. 146 00:12:30,761.84865903 --> 00:12:31,481.84865903 Be cool. 147 00:12:31,751.84865903 --> 00:12:38,411.84865903 She's telling herself to act normal and she's just pushing down these really intense feelings that she has for a friend. 148 00:12:39,146.84865903 --> 00:12:41,6.84865903 But she doesn't wanna make waves. 149 00:12:41,6.84865903 --> 00:12:42,296.84865903 Lately we've been good. 150 00:12:42,326.84865903 --> 00:12:46,166.84865903 Could mean that her ex and herself have been cordial lately. 151 00:12:46,166.84865903 --> 00:12:51,446.84865903 Or it could mean that his ex and her or his ex and him have been cordial lately. 152 00:12:52,16.84865903 --> 00:12:59,96.84865903 It's not clear who it is, but it could mean that this friendship has been smooth sailing as long as they don't admit their feelings. 153 00:12:59,846.84865903 --> 00:13:02,636.84865903 Either way, she's good, but not great. 154 00:13:02,636.84865903 --> 00:13:03,506.84865903 Lately, we've been good. 155 00:13:03,506.84865903 --> 00:13:04,46.84865903 Not lately. 156 00:13:04,46.84865903 --> 00:13:04,736.84865903 We've been great. 157 00:13:05,546.84865903 --> 00:13:06,686.84865903 Staying friends is safe. 158 00:13:06,686.84865903 --> 00:13:07,706.84865903 Doesn't mean you should. 159 00:13:08,426.84865903 --> 00:13:13,136.84865903 So she's speaking both to her past self and to us. 160 00:13:13,136.84865903 --> 00:13:13,826.84865903 Her reader. 161 00:13:14,516.84865903 --> 00:13:21,26.84865903 The safe option rarely brings the happiest change, and she's learned this through the lens of hindsight and experience. 162 00:13:21,956.84865903 --> 00:13:22,916.84865903 These three lines. 163 00:13:22,916.84865903 --> 00:13:27,26.84865903 Repeat again at the end of the refrain, emphasizing that this is the central message. 164 00:13:27,26.84865903 --> 00:13:31,466.84865903 Safety doesn't equal happiness and you'll never know until you try. 165 00:13:31,706.84865903 --> 00:13:35,966.84865903 This is a similar message as Opalite where she's learned that she can make her own happiness. 166 00:13:36,601.84865903 --> 00:13:45,451.84865903 If she just lets herself be open to it, the bridge fast forward in time and gives us another little anecdote in this timeline of their friendship. 167 00:13:45,451.84865903 --> 00:13:51,391.84865903 So the bridge begins When I left school, I lost track of you as friends from high school. 168 00:13:51,391.84865903 --> 00:14:00,421.84865903 Do we go our separate ways? And what once seemed really important in this microcosm of our teen years is all but forgotten in your twenties. 169 00:14:00,956.84865903 --> 00:14:04,196.84865903 But while she's moved on, it seems like she never really forgot him. 170 00:14:05,66.84865903 --> 00:14:10,136.84865903 She goes on, Abigail called me with the bad news, goodbye, and we'll never know why. 171 00:14:11,606.84865903 --> 00:14:22,286.84865903 Her best friend Abigail, who is also mentioned in the song 15 phones, to say that this friend has died and will never know why alludes to a suicide or an accidental death. 172 00:14:23,96.84865903 --> 00:14:27,186.84865903 But this line also fits into the general theme of the song, which is. 173 00:14:27,731.84865903 --> 00:14:29,111.84865903 Unanswered questions. 174 00:14:29,111.84865903 --> 00:14:56,141.84865903 What if, what could have happened? What if I took a chance? What if I kept in touch? What if we were a couple? Would you still be dead? It was not an invitation, she says, of his death, and this completes the trio of things that didn't invite further action, but now we can see that this list of things that weren't invitations is a list of regrets, and now she takes action only once. 175 00:14:56,141.84865903 --> 00:14:56,831.84865903 It's too late. 176 00:14:57,881.84865903 --> 00:15:01,91.84865903 But I flew home anyway with so much left to say. 177 00:15:02,531.84865903 --> 00:15:08,921.84865903 She may not have been explicitly invited to his funeral, but she feels that she needs to say her final words in person. 178 00:15:09,911.84865903 --> 00:15:13,691.84865903 But home in this case also symbolizes childhood. 179 00:15:14,21.84865903 --> 00:15:21,131.84865903 She's flying home to her past life and her past self, and revisiting this road less traveled by. 180 00:15:22,421.84865903 --> 00:15:23,771.84865903 It was not convenient. 181 00:15:23,801.84865903 --> 00:15:34,481.84865903 No, she says, and this is both of his death, her trip home, and the timing of this final admission, but I whispered at the grave, should've kissed you anyway. 182 00:15:34,481.84865903 --> 00:15:36,521.84865903 This is a really sad moment. 183 00:15:36,521.84865903 --> 00:15:44,951.84865903 She's finally saying to him what she wanted to say out loud, and he's not alive to hear it in the previous line. 184 00:15:44,951.84865903 --> 00:15:47,201.84865903 She's saying, I should have kissed you anyway. 185 00:15:47,261.84865903 --> 00:15:52,181.84865903 To her past self, she's voicing her regrets, but only to herself. 186 00:15:52,231.84865903 --> 00:15:56,851.84865903 But now she's actually saying it to him while he's buried in the ground. 187 00:15:57,781.84865903 --> 00:16:01,561.84865903 What would've could have, should have been is now dead and gone and buried. 188 00:16:02,11.84865903 --> 00:16:07,171.84865903 And she's mourning his loss, but she's also mourning the loss of childhood innocence, really. 189 00:16:07,171.84865903 --> 00:16:12,481.84865903 She had a myriad of points where she could have taken a chance and explored their chemistry. 190 00:16:13,396.84865903 --> 00:16:16,666.84865903 But youth can make us either too cautious or too reckless. 191 00:16:17,26.84865903 --> 00:16:24,556.84865903 And now that she's grown, she can distinguish big problems from small ones and she kicks herself for not taking that shot while it was right in front of her. 192 00:16:24,556.84865903 --> 00:16:31,546.84865903 The post chorus closes the song and it begins with, and it was not, there's an em dash after not. 193 00:16:32,266.84865903 --> 00:16:33,826.84865903 So this is a purposeful omission. 194 00:16:34,456.84865903 --> 00:16:39,226.84865903 And she also did this in Elizabeth Taylor where she said, I can't have fun if I can't have. 195 00:16:40,81.848659 --> 00:16:41,401.848659 Blank, em dash. 196 00:16:42,511.848659 --> 00:16:47,936.848659 In both of these, she's using the em dash to create a kind of fill in the blank. 197 00:16:48,691.848659 --> 00:16:49,261.848659 Here. 198 00:16:49,261.848659 --> 00:16:50,941.848659 It was not an invitation. 199 00:16:50,941.848659 --> 00:16:51,871.848659 It was not convenient. 200 00:16:51,871.848659 --> 00:16:53,161.848659 It was not brave. 201 00:16:53,221.848659 --> 00:16:54,871.848659 It was not closure. 202 00:16:55,501.848659 --> 00:16:58,351.848659 But what it is is regret. 203 00:16:58,621.848659 --> 00:17:01,591.848659 She's emphasizing what wasn't and what could have been. 204 00:17:02,911.848659 --> 00:17:08,191.848659 My advice is to always ruin the friendship she says, which is finally saying the quiet part out loud. 205 00:17:08,371.848659 --> 00:17:15,61.848659 This entire tale has been an allegory of what can happen if you're too cautious or too wary of rocking the boat. 206 00:17:15,981.848659 --> 00:17:37,971.848659 This is also the first time that the song's title appears in the lyrics, and it's in the final few lines to ruin the friendship in this case means to move from the friend zone to the romance zone, but in the context of the rest of her worries in this song about whether their friend group would get mad or his ex would get mad, or her ex, or her date, or whoever. 207 00:17:38,776.848659 --> 00:17:42,736.848659 She's also encouraging us to ruin those friendships. 208 00:17:42,946.848659 --> 00:17:45,526.848659 The message is basically stop caring about what other people think. 209 00:17:45,556.848659 --> 00:17:58,376.848659 Even if they are your friends, could it have not worked out and ruin their friendship forever? She will never know now and she doesn't want others to have the same heart stopping regret. 210 00:17:58,376.848659 --> 00:18:07,496.848659 So my advice to always ruin the friendship better that than regret it for all time means you miss a hundred percent of the shots you don't take. 211 00:18:08,276.848659 --> 00:18:13,916.848659 Being gun shy with your heart or with people's feelings will only lead to this lifelong regret. 212 00:18:15,246.848659 --> 00:18:16,1.848659 I should have kissed you. 213 00:18:16,1.848659 --> 00:18:22,541.848659 Anyway, she repeats, but now it stands as a fill in the blank for anything that her reader regrets not doing. 214 00:18:22,601.848659 --> 00:18:32,21.848659 Any of our regrets we can insert here and retain the same message and the same meaning, and my advice is to always answer the question. 215 00:18:32,21.848659 --> 00:18:32,651.848659 She goes on. 216 00:18:32,701.848659 --> 00:18:35,371.848659 Better that than to ask it all your life. 217 00:18:36,601.848659 --> 00:18:39,481.848659 In this case, the unanswered question that lingers is. 218 00:18:40,21.848659 --> 00:18:47,551.848659 Do you love him or would he have loved me back? But we can insert any big questions here and ask ourselves for the answers. 219 00:18:47,551.848659 --> 00:18:55,561.848659 Like, what would you do if you weren't afraid? Or what's the worst thing that could happen? This line of course, also reminds us of the song question from midnights. 220 00:18:55,561.848659 --> 00:19:01,711.848659 Was, is basically the so whole song is asking these questions that have been ruminating in your mind for ages. 221 00:19:02,506.848659 --> 00:19:02,926.848659 Here. 222 00:19:02,926.848659 --> 00:19:15,46.848659 She's encouraging herself and the reader to ask and answer those questions so that you don't keep stewing over it for the rest of your life should have kissed you anyway. 223 00:19:15,106.848659 --> 00:19:21,376.848659 She repeats twice more, which closes out the song with this haunting, lingering regret. 224 00:19:21,376.848659 --> 00:19:26,956.848659 She's saying, I should have taken my chance while it was right in front of me, and I don't want you to make the same mistake. 225 00:19:27,886.848659 --> 00:19:28,696.848659 Take your shot. 226 00:19:28,726.848659 --> 00:19:30,916.848659 You will never know until you try. 227 00:19:30,916.848659 --> 00:19:39,496.848659 So while this song may have been inspired by high school friends who have died either in her life or in others' lives, the meaning is really about regret. 228 00:19:40,306.848659 --> 00:19:55,576.848659 And we see that by the end ruin the friendship really means to be fearless and to speak now and in this track, she's really pulling on those narrative threads from those other albums, but doing it through the lens of hindsight. 229 00:19:55,576.848659 --> 00:20:02,236.848659 She's older and wiser, and she's learned the difference between big consequences and small potatoes. 230 00:20:03,91.848659 --> 00:20:06,541.848659 And for us who have grown alongside her, we've learned those lessons too. 231 00:20:06,841.848659 --> 00:20:14,71.848659 And while we can't go back and relive our childhoods, we can make bolder, braver decisions from now on. 232 00:20:14,101.848659 --> 00:20:21,601.848659 So we don't always wonder what would've, could've, should've happened had we been a bit more brave or had we taken the road less traveled by. 233 00:20:21,601.848659 --> 00:20:21,811.848659 Bye. 234 00:20:23,491.848659 --> 00:20:25,171.848659 Alright, that is all for Track six. 235 00:20:25,171.848659 --> 00:20:25,921.848659 Ruin the Friendship. 236 00:20:25,921.848659 --> 00:20:30,31.848659 If you enjoyed this deep dive, please like and subscribe wherever you are seeing or hearing this. 237 00:20:30,31.848659 --> 00:20:32,191.848659 I'm just starting this podcast and I'm. 238 00:20:32,611.848659 --> 00:20:34,261.848659 Terrible at marketing myself. 239 00:20:34,261.848659 --> 00:20:39,661.848659 So if you can leave a comment or review and share with your swiftly friends, it would mean the world to me. 240 00:20:40,621.848659 --> 00:20:44,311.848659 All of this content is available on my website linked in the show notes, so go check that out. 241 00:20:44,911.848659 --> 00:20:51,61.848659 Thank you so much for being here, and I will see you in the next episode where we will tackle actually romantic. 242 00:20:51,481.848659 --> 00:20:52,261.848659 See you next time. 243 00:20:52,261.848659 --> 00:20:54,571.848659 That's it for this chapter of Swiftly Sung Stories. 244 00:20:54,631.848659 --> 00:20:58,351.848659 If you enjoyed this deep dive, please don't forget to follow, subscribe, or leave a review. 245 00:20:58,411.848659 --> 00:21:00,451.848659 It helps other Swifties find their way here. 246 00:21:00,601.848659 --> 00:21:03,421.848659 I'm Jen and I had a marvelous time reading everything with you. 247 00:21:03,541.848659 --> 00:21:04,51.848659 See you next time.
I'm your host, Jen.
I am your Swifty English teacher, and today we are tackling Track six in my track by track analysis of the life of Showgirl.
We're gonna dive straight into Ruin the Friendship.
The song showcases Taylor's narrative Storytelling with this Tale of a childhood friend gone too soon and the regret she experiences having never explored a romantic relationship with them.
(00:23):
But what's the song really getting at? We're gonna find out together.
In my last few episodes, I analyzed Taylor's prologue poem and the first five tracks of this album.
So go check those out because it lays a lot of groundwork for what we're about to get into, all of these themes that Taylor's exploring in these lyrics.
And a quick PSA.
All of this content is available on my website if you want the text version with the annotated lyrics that you'll see on the screen in YouTube.
(00:46):
And if you're watching this on YouTube, you can also find me wherever you get your podcasts and vice versa.
Okay.
Let's lay a little groundwork first on the themes within a song, and then we will roll into my dissection of Ruin the Friendship line by line. 15 00:01:02,615.848659031 --> 00:01:08,315.848659031 Welcome to swiftly sung Stories where we unpack the Taylor Swift Universe one era album and lyric at a time. 16 00:01:08,495.848659031 --> 00:01:12,815.848659031 Think of it like English class, but it's all Taylor Swift and none of the boring stuff. 17 00:01:13,265.848659031 --> 00:01:18,665.848659031 I'm Jen, your Swifty English teacher and classes in session, so come on in and meet me in the margins. 18 00:01:18,951.848659031 --> 00:01:27,21.848659031 Ruin the friendship is really a narrative about regret, where our narrator looks back on all of these opportunities she missed and the roads not taken. 19 00:01:27,681.848659031 --> 00:01:34,431.848659031 It ties into these major themes that run throughout the album, and it explores this duality of self and the different versions of herself. 20 00:01:34,431.848659031 --> 00:01:39,651.848659031 In a lot of songs on this album, Taylor's exploring the Road Not Taken and the song is no different. 21 00:01:39,771.848659031 --> 00:01:44,181.84865903 In the fate of Ophelia, she wonders what would've happened had this new person not coming to her life. 22 00:01:44,751.84865903 --> 00:01:50,1.84865903 In Elizabeth Taylor, she wonders how the story ends and how much control she has over her fate. 23 00:01:50,691.84865903 --> 00:01:55,941.84865903 In Opalite, she asked what would've been if she hadn't opened herself up to accepting joy, et cetera. 24 00:01:55,971.84865903 --> 00:01:56,661.84865903 Goes on and on. 25 00:01:56,691.84865903 --> 00:02:03,261.84865903 So what a lot of this album is, is about the showgirl versus the girl, these two parts of herself. 26 00:02:03,321.84865903 --> 00:02:09,111.84865903 And the rest is really about what would've could've, should have happened had she chosen another path. 27 00:02:09,111.84865903 --> 00:02:11,571.84865903 So Ruin the Friendship is in this sort of. 28 00:02:11,706.84865903 --> 00:02:13,116.84865903 Second vein of themes. 29 00:02:13,116.84865903 --> 00:02:20,76.84865903 It's the road less traveled by and it zooms in on one relationship in particular in the past that she regrets not exploring. 30 00:02:20,796.84865903 --> 00:02:24,876.84865903 We're back to a high school setting and she describes how special this friendship is. 31 00:02:25,356.84865903 --> 00:02:28,666.84865903 But then after she grows up and moves on, she learns that this old friend has died. 32 00:02:29,766.84865903 --> 00:02:39,576.84865903 She has written about this subject before in Forever Winter on Red, which was rumored to be inspired about a high school friend Jeff Lang, who died just as she was releasing Speak Now. 33 00:02:40,416.84865903 --> 00:02:45,666.84865903 Now ruin the Friendship, could be partially about Jeff Lang, but in the release Party of a Showgirl. 34 00:02:45,666.84865903 --> 00:02:52,296.84865903 She says that this song was sort of an amalgamation of her own experiences and her friends' experiences. 35 00:02:52,296.84865903 --> 00:03:01,236.84865903 But overall, this song is mostly just about regret and taking chances and what we lose when we leave childhood behind and we have to grow up. 36 00:03:01,986.84865903 --> 00:03:04,626.84865903 Okay, let's roll right into the first verse. 37 00:03:04,626.84865903 --> 00:03:05,256.84865903 Quick caveat. 38 00:03:05,256.84865903 --> 00:03:07,116.84865903 This is just all my opinion. 39 00:03:07,116.84865903 --> 00:03:08,766.84865903 You can have your own opinions about this. 40 00:03:08,766.84865903 --> 00:03:14,796.84865903 That's why art is so cool and why it's so fun to dissect, because it has so many different meanings for different people. 41 00:03:15,366.84865903 --> 00:03:23,616.84865903 I try not to talk about Taylor's personal life unless it really informs the song and unless it provides crucial context that we need to understand the lyrics. 42 00:03:24,6.84865903 --> 00:03:25,86.84865903 Alright, let's go. 43 00:03:25,86.84865903 --> 00:03:31,866.84865903 So the first verse begins with glistening grass from September rain gray overpass full of neon names. 44 00:03:32,586.84865903 --> 00:03:36,906.84865903 So we're plopped right into the middle of this narrative with some contrasting imagery. 45 00:03:37,26.84865903 --> 00:03:43,176.84865903 There's the glistening grass, which conjures this fresh fall morning, maybe the start of a new school year. 46 00:03:43,656.84865903 --> 00:03:48,876.84865903 But then she juxtaposes this with this gray, dull highway imagery. 47 00:03:49,631.84865903 --> 00:04:03,281.84865903 So the neon names could be graffiti, it could be the business signs dotted along the highway, but all of Taylor's imagery is purposeful and neon names reminds us of a very similar piece of imagery she used in the lucky one. 48 00:04:04,61.84865903 --> 00:04:05,741.84865903 Another name goes up in lights. 49 00:04:05,861.84865903 --> 00:04:07,451.84865903 You wonder if you'll make it out alive. 50 00:04:07,451.84865903 --> 00:04:13,601.84865903 If we read into it this way, it's sort of subtly foreshadowing what's to come for our narrator. 51 00:04:13,601.84865903 --> 00:04:19,511.84865903 Her name will go up in lights, but it also kind of foreshadows what will happen to her friend. 52 00:04:19,571.84865903 --> 00:04:21,821.84865903 His name will metaphorically burnout. 53 00:04:23,786.84865903 --> 00:04:25,76.84865903 You drive 85. 54 00:04:25,256.84865903 --> 00:04:26,126.84865903 She continues. 55 00:04:26,366.84865903 --> 00:04:27,656.84865903 So he's got the pedal to the metal. 56 00:04:27,656.84865903 --> 00:04:41,516.84865903 He's zipping through this fall, Tennessee day, and this implies a kind of carelessness and riskiness and contrasts with how our narrator is super careful in taking chances throughout this whole story. 57 00:04:42,611.84865903 --> 00:04:45,491.84865903 But the setting, just like the imagery is also purposeful. 58 00:04:45,671.84865903 --> 00:04:56,771.84865903 And cars and driving are really common metaphors in Taylor's world, especially in her earlier albums where the road often symbolizes paths we take or don't take. 59 00:04:57,311.84865903 --> 00:05:03,371.84865903 Here they are driving down this road of life together, but soon their paths will diverge. 60 00:05:04,631.84865903 --> 00:05:06,371.84865903 Gallatin Road in Lakeside Beach. 61 00:05:06,431.84865903 --> 00:05:13,181.84865903 She goes on, and this is name checking particular points in Hendersonville, Tennessee, where Taylor spent parts of her teen years. 62 00:05:13,931.84865903 --> 00:05:17,981.84865903 So what this does is anchors her story in the real world. 63 00:05:17,981.84865903 --> 00:05:21,881.84865903 It's making it feel as though this situation really happened to her. 64 00:05:22,841.84865903 --> 00:05:24,911.84865903 And whether it did or not is beside the point. 65 00:05:24,911.84865903 --> 00:05:29,621.84865903 It's a storytelling device that she's using to give us the perception of reality. 66 00:05:30,791.84865903 --> 00:05:32,981.84865903 So we've got it all in these first few lines. 67 00:05:32,981.84865903 --> 00:05:37,271.84865903 We've got characters, we've got setting, we've got imagery, and we have a central metaphor. 68 00:05:37,271.84865903 --> 00:05:39,311.84865903 They're driving down this road of life together. 69 00:05:40,511.84865903 --> 00:05:46,211.84865903 Then she recalls this other nostalgic moment with this friend watching the game from your brother's Jeep. 70 00:05:47,531.84865903 --> 00:05:57,691.84865903 She's painting a portrait of this normal small town everyday life, but in retrospect, it will look like just another moment that she let pass her by. 71 00:05:58,61.84865903 --> 00:05:59,921.84865903 You don't know what you've got till it's gone. 72 00:05:59,921.84865903 --> 00:06:01,361.84865903 As Joni Mitchell would say. 73 00:06:02,351.84865903 --> 00:06:10,181.84865903 So now they're sitting in the Jeep in this rural, small town America Day, but then she notices your smile miles wide. 74 00:06:10,871.84865903 --> 00:06:16,151.84865903 His smile and the emotions it stirs in her is what made this moment magical. 75 00:06:16,631.84865903 --> 00:06:29,81.84865903 In describing his smile as miles wide also ties into the previous road and driving imagery and metaphors, but this also foreshadows the darker end of the road that's ahead. 76 00:06:29,81.84865903 --> 00:06:32,21.84865903 The first chorus begins, and it was not an invitation. 77 00:06:32,411.84865903 --> 00:06:38,111.84865903 Should have kissed you anyway, should have kissed you anyway, and she's talking about his smile here. 78 00:06:38,111.84865903 --> 00:06:44,561.84865903 Even though it was alluring and it could have been this magical moment, she wasn't invited to kiss him, so she didn't. 79 00:06:45,816.84865903 --> 00:06:57,426.84865903 His smile will be the first in a list of three things in these lyrics that were not an invitation, but what she's getting at here is that she shouldn't have waited for an invitation. 80 00:06:57,606.84865903 --> 00:06:59,886.84865903 It's, and it's not just about the kiss. 81 00:06:59,886.84865903 --> 00:07:05,706.84865903 The larger meaning is that we shouldn't wait to express how we feel about important people in our lives. 82 00:07:05,706.84865903 --> 00:07:08,526.84865903 Like she said, in, you're on your own kid, take the moment and taste it. 83 00:07:08,856.84865903 --> 00:07:10,506.84865903 You've got no reason to be afraid. 84 00:07:10,506.84865903 --> 00:07:16,566.84865903 This is a big theme in the Taylor Swift universe, and she's even written an entire album about it called Speak Now. 85 00:07:17,46.84865903 --> 00:07:21,996.84865903 The song could actually fit perfectly on speak now, but she goes on and it was not convenient. 86 00:07:21,996.84865903 --> 00:07:24,66.84865903 No, but your girlfriend was away. 87 00:07:24,276.84865903 --> 00:07:32,706.84865903 Should have kissed you anyway, so it was a convenient time to kiss him, right? His girlfriend wasn't around to find out. 88 00:07:33,741.84865903 --> 00:07:39,891.84865903 But what's important is that the implications wouldn't have been convenient for anyone, anywhere at any time. 89 00:07:39,891.84865903 --> 00:07:42,501.84865903 She doesn't want the fallout and the drama. 90 00:07:43,371.84865903 --> 00:07:47,206.84865903 There was never a perfect time to disrupt their lives by ruining this friendship. 91 00:07:47,976.84865903 --> 00:07:48,816.84865903 But that's the point. 92 00:07:48,816.84865903 --> 00:07:58,236.84865903 She's looking back at all of these moments in hindsight, and what she's saying is that in our lives we will be faced with choices and it's never convenient to make these difficult decisions. 93 00:07:58,836.84865903 --> 00:08:01,776.84865903 But if we never take a chance, we will never know what could have been. 94 00:08:03,486.84865903 --> 00:08:09,216.84865903 The second verse begins with another anecdote, and we are moved to a different location in probably a different place in time. 95 00:08:09,876.84865903 --> 00:08:13,386.84865903 So she begins shiny wood floors underneath my feet. 96 00:08:13,716.84865903 --> 00:08:18,936.84865903 Disco ball makes everything look cheap, so we are now probably in a high school gym. 97 00:08:19,176.84865903 --> 00:08:30,966.84865903 The floors are glistening under these twirling lights of a disco ball, and this is really visceral imagery, especially if, if you've ever been to an American high school dance and the disco ball. 98 00:08:31,166.84865903 --> 00:08:37,706.84865903 Not the mirrorball, by the way, makes everything look cheap because it's trying to manufacture ambiance. 99 00:08:37,706.84865903 --> 00:08:40,166.84865903 It doesn't feel authentic or romantic. 100 00:08:40,166.84865903 --> 00:08:41,156.84865903 It feels staged. 101 00:08:41,816.84865903 --> 00:08:51,506.84865903 So she's looking around at all these depressing decorations in where she usually has her gym class, and it's this moment that's supposed to be the highlight of your teen years. 102 00:08:51,556.84865903 --> 00:08:54,76.84865903 And she says to herself, have fun. 103 00:08:54,436.84865903 --> 00:08:54,946.84865903 It's prom. 104 00:08:56,201.84865903 --> 00:09:00,971.84865903 They should feel joyful during what should be this epic moment of high school life. 105 00:09:01,1.84865903 --> 00:09:04,61.84865903 But it feels kind of empty and dead inside somehow. 106 00:09:05,21.84865903 --> 00:09:09,761.84865903 Could it be Possibly because they are there with the wrong dates? Yeah. 107 00:09:10,331.84865903 --> 00:09:12,731.84865903 That's why she continues with some more imagery. 108 00:09:13,121.84865903 --> 00:09:14,351.84865903 Wilted corsage. 109 00:09:14,351.84865903 --> 00:09:15,281.84865903 Dangles from my wrist. 110 00:09:16,421.84865903 --> 00:09:21,401.84865903 So there's another depressing detail which kind of mirrors how she feels about her date. 111 00:09:21,431.84865903 --> 00:09:31,121.84865903 We get the sense that he had placed this corsage on her wrist, and if it had been by the person she truly cared about it may have been a beautiful, bright, crisp. 112 00:09:31,721.84865903 --> 00:09:38,291.84865903 alive corsage, but it's, it's not, this can't help but remind me of another dead flower metaphor. 113 00:09:38,411.84865903 --> 00:09:51,671.84865903 When all the flowers that we'd grown together died of thirst from clean, taylor will often use flower and plant imagery and metaphors to describe growth and death, and this wilted corsage is no different. 114 00:09:52,421.84865903 --> 00:09:58,856.84865903 So you can imagine her dancing with her hand over her dates, shoulders, and she's looking at this sad corsage and she says. 115 00:09:59,591.84865903 --> 00:10:00,581.84865903 Over his shoulder. 116 00:10:00,731.84865903 --> 00:10:03,731.84865903 I catch a glimpse and see you looking at me. 117 00:10:04,721.84865903 --> 00:10:10,541.84865903 The only bright spot in this pale prom is his eyes and they share this knowing. 118 00:10:10,541.84865903 --> 00:10:15,131.84865903 Glance your eyes will always look toward what you want, and neither of them can look away. 119 00:10:16,136.84865903 --> 00:10:18,176.84865903 But there's always going to be something in the way. 120 00:10:18,176.84865903 --> 00:10:28,436.84865903 It seems before he was with his girlfriend that was emotionally an obstacle between them, and now it's her date and maybe his date, who is physically between them. 121 00:10:29,336.84865903 --> 00:10:31,16.84865903 But in hindsight, she kicks herself. 122 00:10:31,16.84865903 --> 00:10:35,546.84865903 She shouldn't have let those things get in the way just because the timing wasn't perfect. 123 00:10:36,926.84865903 --> 00:10:41,726.84865903 The second chorus begins the same way as the first, and it was not an invitation. 124 00:10:41,726.84865903 --> 00:10:49,136.84865903 Now, this is second on the list of things that weren't an invite, and this time she's talking about this knowing look that they share on the dance floor. 125 00:10:49,196.84865903 --> 00:10:54,116.84865903 That was not the invitation, but as the 50 cent song played, should have kissed you anyway. 126 00:10:55,126.84865903 --> 00:11:03,886.84865903 This is her second moment where she should have gone for it in moment, in a series of imperfect moments that she regrets not going after what she wanted. 127 00:11:04,606.84865903 --> 00:11:11,926.84865903 And the 50 cent song, although it sounds maybe a little corny, it adds another layer to this imperfection because they're dancing to a rap song. 128 00:11:12,286.84865903 --> 00:11:15,676.84865903 They're not dancing to a slow romantic ballad. 129 00:11:15,676.84865903 --> 00:11:20,416.84865903 This moment was far from perfect, but she should have gone for it anyway. 130 00:11:20,416.84865903 --> 00:11:22,381.84865903 Instead of letting this moment pass her by. 131 00:11:23,831.84865903 --> 00:11:25,451.84865903 And it was not convenient. 132 00:11:25,481.84865903 --> 00:11:31,61.84865903 She says this awkward moment at the prom, dancing to a rap song with the wrong person. 133 00:11:31,811.84865903 --> 00:11:41,621.84865903 There was a lot emotionally and physically standing between them, but we can picture her marching over to him, mid rap song, stealing him from his date and kissing him. 134 00:11:41,621.84865903 --> 00:11:49,331.84865903 It would've been far from convenient and it would've probably blown up their social lives, but it would've been the best mistake. 135 00:11:49,331.84865903 --> 00:11:51,701.84865903 She says, should've kissed you anyway. 136 00:11:51,701.84865903 --> 00:11:55,871.84865903 And when she's saying is it would've been the best mistake is that it wouldn't have been a mistake at all. 137 00:11:55,871.84865903 --> 00:11:58,301.84865903 It would've been perfectly purposeful. 138 00:11:58,961.84865903 --> 00:12:05,171.84865903 But what she's getting at is that she wouldn't look at it in hindsight as a mistake if she had gone through with it. 139 00:12:05,921.84865903 --> 00:12:09,251.84865903 So she wishes she could just go back in time and take that chance. 140 00:12:09,431.84865903 --> 00:12:14,801.84865903 But for now, she'll have to settle for living with her mistakes and all of the things left unsaid. 141 00:12:14,801.84865903 --> 00:12:20,861.84865903 In the refrain, we get to hear a few bits of her inner monologue during this time of high school turmoil. 142 00:12:21,461.84865903 --> 00:12:22,601.84865903 Don't make it awkward. 143 00:12:22,601.84865903 --> 00:12:27,71.84865903 In second period, she says to herself, back then might piss your ex off. 144 00:12:27,71.84865903 --> 00:12:28,301.84865903 Lately we've been good. 145 00:12:28,751.84865903 --> 00:12:30,761.84865903 So she saying to herself, don't make it weird. 146 00:12:30,761.84865903 --> 00:12:31,481.84865903 Be cool. 147 00:12:31,751.84865903 --> 00:12:38,411.84865903 She's telling herself to act normal and she's just pushing down these really intense feelings that she has for a friend. 148 00:12:39,146.84865903 --> 00:12:41,6.84865903 But she doesn't wanna make waves. 149 00:12:41,6.84865903 --> 00:12:42,296.84865903 Lately we've been good. 150 00:12:42,326.84865903 --> 00:12:46,166.84865903 Could mean that her ex and herself have been cordial lately. 151 00:12:46,166.84865903 --> 00:12:51,446.84865903 Or it could mean that his ex and her or his ex and him have been cordial lately. 152 00:12:52,16.84865903 --> 00:12:59,96.84865903 It's not clear who it is, but it could mean that this friendship has been smooth sailing as long as they don't admit their feelings. 153 00:12:59,846.84865903 --> 00:13:02,636.84865903 Either way, she's good, but not great. 154 00:13:02,636.84865903 --> 00:13:03,506.84865903 Lately, we've been good. 155 00:13:03,506.84865903 --> 00:13:04,46.84865903 Not lately. 156 00:13:04,46.84865903 --> 00:13:04,736.84865903 We've been great. 157 00:13:05,546.84865903 --> 00:13:06,686.84865903 Staying friends is safe. 158 00:13:06,686.84865903 --> 00:13:07,706.84865903 Doesn't mean you should. 159 00:13:08,426.84865903 --> 00:13:13,136.84865903 So she's speaking both to her past self and to us. 160 00:13:13,136.84865903 --> 00:13:13,826.84865903 Her reader. 161 00:13:14,516.84865903 --> 00:13:21,26.84865903 The safe option rarely brings the happiest change, and she's learned this through the lens of hindsight and experience. 162 00:13:21,956.84865903 --> 00:13:22,916.84865903 These three lines. 163 00:13:22,916.84865903 --> 00:13:27,26.84865903 Repeat again at the end of the refrain, emphasizing that this is the central message. 164 00:13:27,26.84865903 --> 00:13:31,466.84865903 Safety doesn't equal happiness and you'll never know until you try. 165 00:13:31,706.84865903 --> 00:13:35,966.84865903 This is a similar message as Opalite where she's learned that she can make her own happiness. 166 00:13:36,601.84865903 --> 00:13:45,451.84865903 If she just lets herself be open to it, the bridge fast forward in time and gives us another little anecdote in this timeline of their friendship. 167 00:13:45,451.84865903 --> 00:13:51,391.84865903 So the bridge begins When I left school, I lost track of you as friends from high school. 168 00:13:51,391.84865903 --> 00:14:00,421.84865903 Do we go our separate ways? And what once seemed really important in this microcosm of our teen years is all but forgotten in your twenties. 169 00:14:00,956.84865903 --> 00:14:04,196.84865903 But while she's moved on, it seems like she never really forgot him. 170 00:14:05,66.84865903 --> 00:14:10,136.84865903 She goes on, Abigail called me with the bad news, goodbye, and we'll never know why. 171 00:14:11,606.84865903 --> 00:14:22,286.84865903 Her best friend Abigail, who is also mentioned in the song 15 phones, to say that this friend has died and will never know why alludes to a suicide or an accidental death. 172 00:14:23,96.84865903 --> 00:14:27,186.84865903 But this line also fits into the general theme of the song, which is. 173 00:14:27,731.84865903 --> 00:14:29,111.84865903 Unanswered questions. 174 00:14:29,111.84865903 --> 00:14:56,141.84865903 What if, what could have happened? What if I took a chance? What if I kept in touch? What if we were a couple? Would you still be dead? It was not an invitation, she says, of his death, and this completes the trio of things that didn't invite further action, but now we can see that this list of things that weren't invitations is a list of regrets, and now she takes action only once. 175 00:14:56,141.84865903 --> 00:14:56,831.84865903 It's too late. 176 00:14:57,881.84865903 --> 00:15:01,91.84865903 But I flew home anyway with so much left to say. 177 00:15:02,531.84865903 --> 00:15:08,921.84865903 She may not have been explicitly invited to his funeral, but she feels that she needs to say her final words in person. 178 00:15:09,911.84865903 --> 00:15:13,691.84865903 But home in this case also symbolizes childhood. 179 00:15:14,21.84865903 --> 00:15:21,131.84865903 She's flying home to her past life and her past self, and revisiting this road less traveled by. 180 00:15:22,421.84865903 --> 00:15:23,771.84865903 It was not convenient. 181 00:15:23,801.84865903 --> 00:15:34,481.84865903 No, she says, and this is both of his death, her trip home, and the timing of this final admission, but I whispered at the grave, should've kissed you anyway. 182 00:15:34,481.84865903 --> 00:15:36,521.84865903 This is a really sad moment. 183 00:15:36,521.84865903 --> 00:15:44,951.84865903 She's finally saying to him what she wanted to say out loud, and he's not alive to hear it in the previous line. 184 00:15:44,951.84865903 --> 00:15:47,201.84865903 She's saying, I should have kissed you anyway. 185 00:15:47,261.84865903 --> 00:15:52,181.84865903 To her past self, she's voicing her regrets, but only to herself. 186 00:15:52,231.84865903 --> 00:15:56,851.84865903 But now she's actually saying it to him while he's buried in the ground. 187 00:15:57,781.84865903 --> 00:16:01,561.84865903 What would've could have, should have been is now dead and gone and buried. 188 00:16:02,11.84865903 --> 00:16:07,171.84865903 And she's mourning his loss, but she's also mourning the loss of childhood innocence, really. 189 00:16:07,171.84865903 --> 00:16:12,481.84865903 She had a myriad of points where she could have taken a chance and explored their chemistry. 190 00:16:13,396.84865903 --> 00:16:16,666.84865903 But youth can make us either too cautious or too reckless. 191 00:16:17,26.84865903 --> 00:16:24,556.84865903 And now that she's grown, she can distinguish big problems from small ones and she kicks herself for not taking that shot while it was right in front of her. 192 00:16:24,556.84865903 --> 00:16:31,546.84865903 The post chorus closes the song and it begins with, and it was not, there's an em dash after not. 193 00:16:32,266.84865903 --> 00:16:33,826.84865903 So this is a purposeful omission. 194 00:16:34,456.84865903 --> 00:16:39,226.84865903 And she also did this in Elizabeth Taylor where she said, I can't have fun if I can't have. 195 00:16:40,81.848659 --> 00:16:41,401.848659 Blank, em dash. 196 00:16:42,511.848659 --> 00:16:47,936.848659 In both of these, she's using the em dash to create a kind of fill in the blank. 197 00:16:48,691.848659 --> 00:16:49,261.848659 Here. 198 00:16:49,261.848659 --> 00:16:50,941.848659 It was not an invitation. 199 00:16:50,941.848659 --> 00:16:51,871.848659 It was not convenient. 200 00:16:51,871.848659 --> 00:16:53,161.848659 It was not brave. 201 00:16:53,221.848659 --> 00:16:54,871.848659 It was not closure. 202 00:16:55,501.848659 --> 00:16:58,351.848659 But what it is is regret. 203 00:16:58,621.848659 --> 00:17:01,591.848659 She's emphasizing what wasn't and what could have been. 204 00:17:02,911.848659 --> 00:17:08,191.848659 My advice is to always ruin the friendship she says, which is finally saying the quiet part out loud. 205 00:17:08,371.848659 --> 00:17:15,61.848659 This entire tale has been an allegory of what can happen if you're too cautious or too wary of rocking the boat. 206 00:17:15,981.848659 --> 00:17:37,971.848659 This is also the first time that the song's title appears in the lyrics, and it's in the final few lines to ruin the friendship in this case means to move from the friend zone to the romance zone, but in the context of the rest of her worries in this song about whether their friend group would get mad or his ex would get mad, or her ex, or her date, or whoever. 207 00:17:38,776.848659 --> 00:17:42,736.848659 She's also encouraging us to ruin those friendships. 208 00:17:42,946.848659 --> 00:17:45,526.848659 The message is basically stop caring about what other people think. 209 00:17:45,556.848659 --> 00:17:58,376.848659 Even if they are your friends, could it have not worked out and ruin their friendship forever? She will never know now and she doesn't want others to have the same heart stopping regret. 210 00:17:58,376.848659 --> 00:18:07,496.848659 So my advice to always ruin the friendship better that than regret it for all time means you miss a hundred percent of the shots you don't take. 211 00:18:08,276.848659 --> 00:18:13,916.848659 Being gun shy with your heart or with people's feelings will only lead to this lifelong regret. 212 00:18:15,246.848659 --> 00:18:16,1.848659 I should have kissed you. 213 00:18:16,1.848659 --> 00:18:22,541.848659 Anyway, she repeats, but now it stands as a fill in the blank for anything that her reader regrets not doing. 214 00:18:22,601.848659 --> 00:18:32,21.848659 Any of our regrets we can insert here and retain the same message and the same meaning, and my advice is to always answer the question. 215 00:18:32,21.848659 --> 00:18:32,651.848659 She goes on. 216 00:18:32,701.848659 --> 00:18:35,371.848659 Better that than to ask it all your life. 217 00:18:36,601.848659 --> 00:18:39,481.848659 In this case, the unanswered question that lingers is. 218 00:18:40,21.848659 --> 00:18:47,551.848659 Do you love him or would he have loved me back? But we can insert any big questions here and ask ourselves for the answers. 219 00:18:47,551.848659 --> 00:18:55,561.848659 Like, what would you do if you weren't afraid? Or what's the worst thing that could happen? This line of course, also reminds us of the song question from midnights. 220 00:18:55,561.848659 --> 00:19:01,711.848659 Was, is basically the so whole song is asking these questions that have been ruminating in your mind for ages. 221 00:19:02,506.848659 --> 00:19:02,926.848659 Here. 222 00:19:02,926.848659 --> 00:19:15,46.848659 She's encouraging herself and the reader to ask and answer those questions so that you don't keep stewing over it for the rest of your life should have kissed you anyway. 223 00:19:15,106.848659 --> 00:19:21,376.848659 She repeats twice more, which closes out the song with this haunting, lingering regret. 224 00:19:21,376.848659 --> 00:19:26,956.848659 She's saying, I should have taken my chance while it was right in front of me, and I don't want you to make the same mistake. 225 00:19:27,886.848659 --> 00:19:28,696.848659 Take your shot. 226 00:19:28,726.848659 --> 00:19:30,916.848659 You will never know until you try. 227 00:19:30,916.848659 --> 00:19:39,496.848659 So while this song may have been inspired by high school friends who have died either in her life or in others' lives, the meaning is really about regret. 228 00:19:40,306.848659 --> 00:19:55,576.848659 And we see that by the end ruin the friendship really means to be fearless and to speak now and in this track, she's really pulling on those narrative threads from those other albums, but doing it through the lens of hindsight. 229 00:19:55,576.848659 --> 00:20:02,236.848659 She's older and wiser, and she's learned the difference between big consequences and small potatoes. 230 00:20:03,91.848659 --> 00:20:06,541.848659 And for us who have grown alongside her, we've learned those lessons too. 231 00:20:06,841.848659 --> 00:20:14,71.848659 And while we can't go back and relive our childhoods, we can make bolder, braver decisions from now on. 232 00:20:14,101.848659 --> 00:20:21,601.848659 So we don't always wonder what would've, could've, should've happened had we been a bit more brave or had we taken the road less traveled by. 233 00:20:21,601.848659 --> 00:20:21,811.848659 Bye. 234 00:20:23,491.848659 --> 00:20:25,171.848659 Alright, that is all for Track six. 235 00:20:25,171.848659 --> 00:20:25,921.848659 Ruin the Friendship. 236 00:20:25,921.848659 --> 00:20:30,31.848659 If you enjoyed this deep dive, please like and subscribe wherever you are seeing or hearing this. 237 00:20:30,31.848659 --> 00:20:32,191.848659 I'm just starting this podcast and I'm. 238 00:20:32,611.848659 --> 00:20:34,261.848659 Terrible at marketing myself. 239 00:20:34,261.848659 --> 00:20:39,661.848659 So if you can leave a comment or review and share with your swiftly friends, it would mean the world to me. 240 00:20:40,621.848659 --> 00:20:44,311.848659 All of this content is available on my website linked in the show notes, so go check that out. 241 00:20:44,911.848659 --> 00:20:51,61.848659 Thank you so much for being here, and I will see you in the next episode where we will tackle actually romantic. 242 00:20:51,481.848659 --> 00:20:52,261.848659 See you next time. 243 00:20:52,261.848659 --> 00:20:54,571.848659 That's it for this chapter of Swiftly Sung Stories. 244 00:20:54,631.848659 --> 00:20:58,351.848659 If you enjoyed this deep dive, please don't forget to follow, subscribe, or leave a review. 245 00:20:58,411.848659 --> 00:21:00,451.848659 It helps other Swifties find their way here. 246 00:21:00,601.848659 --> 00:21:03,421.848659 I'm Jen and I had a marvelous time reading everything with you. 247 00:21:03,541.848659 --> 00:21:04,51.848659 See you next time.
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