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May 20, 2025 62 mins

Whether you're hoping to improve your marriage, deepen your self-awareness, or finally feel safe in love, this episode meets you right where you are. Inner Child Healer Tami Schiltz joins forces with psychotherapist, sex educator, and relationship coach Christie Bemis to unpack the real reasons relationships feel stuck—and how inner child work can unlock lasting connection, communication, and emotional safety.

You’ll learn how childhood patterns sneak into adult relationships, how to identify your adaptive child responses, and why being triggered is actually an invitation to heal—not a red flag.

We also break down Christie’s SPARCS relationship assessment tool (Safety, Play/Pleasure, Attunement, Realized Dreams, Communication, and Sex/Intimacy), and the 5 losing strategies that sabotage connection: withdrawal, retaliation, controlling, needing to be right, and unbridled self-expression.

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Show Notes:

  • 00:00 Introduction and Vulnerability in Conversations
  • 05:05 The Importance of Safety in Relationships
  • 08:00 Key Elements of Healthy Relationships
  • 10:45 Understanding Couples Therapy Dynamics
  • 13:33 The Role of Inner Child Work
  • 15:56 Navigating Triggers in Relationships
  • 18:48 The Adaptive Child and Relationship Dynamics
  • 22:07 Communication and Emotional Safety
  • 24:37 Compassion and Understanding in Relationships
  • 27:44 The Impact of Childhood on Adult Relationships
  • 32:32 Understanding Safety and Sensitivity
  • 35:46 The Impact of Gaslighting on Relationships
  • 40:07 Navigating Emotional Safety in Relationships
  • 43:49 The Importance of Inner Child Work
  • 48:16 Finding Motivation for Inner Child Healing
  • 51:36 Reconnecting with Your Inner Child
  • 55:14 Embracing Sexuality and Aliveness
  • 01:00:44 Creating Meaningful Conversations
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