Tea Time with Elsa

Chatting about: Solving for Better…

In this episode, we talk about how we can see an issue that needs to be solved and cut it in half, and in half again until the part we are working on feels set up for success. I recently had some new revelations about how this applies to horses who struggle with the feeling of touch, as well as how it applies to horses who need greater development in either self-regulation or co-regulation. 

Orig...

Chatting about: “Emotional Cycles”…

In this episode, we talk about seeing the emotional cycles of a horse from moment to moment and using that awareness to better time our active and passive moments. First we watch the horse and learn about their cycles. Then we use our active and passive moments to prove to the horse that we understand them. Then we start timing our active and passive moments better to leave the horse wanting more...

Chatting about: Fear in Horses…

In this episode, we talk about understanding a horse’s fear in a categorical way. Their responses will be in either Fight or Flight and they will tend to be in reaction to one of four elements: movement, touch, approach, or sound. Once we can see a horse’s tendencies categorically, we can more easily break down the fear into bite sized pieces that they can learn about, growing their confidence increm...

Chatting about: Non-Negotiables

In this episode, we talk about the Non-Negotiable factor of space between partners if either one feels unsafe. If we cannot create space between partners in the moments that challenge safety we will need to consider using, more pressure, dominant training, or the presence of a fence between horse and human. Freedom of choice comes after we can trust the basic elements of acting safe around each other...

Chatting about: Praise…

In this episode, we talk about using praise with horses. Why we might choose to, why we might not. The mechanics of developing good associations with praise if you want to use it as part of your relationship and how it might work better for some horses than others. I don’t think there is an absolute for anything with horses, but there are always factors that can be understood better to help us understand our...

Chatting about: Enough and Not Enough…

In this episode, we talk about a new herd integration with my horses and the timing needed between horses as they learn about each other’s likes and dislikes. Emotional training depends on the understanding of leaving everyone wanting more of the relationship, instead of less of it. I am fascinated by how the emotional training horses do with each other can also be used to nurture the relation...

Chatting about: Environment Matters…

In this episode, we talk about how much the environment we are in with our horses always impacts our training. There will always be factors in the environment that raise or lower the horse’s stress levels and we are going to do our most profound training at the mid levels of fully aware (instead of resting), but more curious instead of concerned.

Originally aired on: February 11th, 2025

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Chatting about: Food Aggression…

In this episode, we talk about a different perspective around food aggression in horses. Many people believe food aggression is about resource guarding, or trying to get the other horses to leave. These things may be true, but I have noticed a few different things about it that are far more helpful to me in understanding and supporting my horses in living their best lives.

Originally aired on: Febru...

Chatting about: Creativity…

In this episode, we talk about creativity and anxiety being on a spectrum and how the two can not exist simultaneously. To be creative is to try things, assess, and try again. When you draw a picture, you draw a line, and then another line, and try one thing after another towards an end goal developed through experimentation. Horses can also learn this pattern of creativity when they try one point of foc...

Chatting about: Trusting Yourself…

In this episode, we talk about trusting ourselves in horse training. Most everyone has instincts or ideas about what they might want to do next. Then the question comes up, is that a good idea or a bad idea? I suggest you try it and find out. Trust your idea, then verify if the trust was warranted and adjust. This perpetually hones your future instincts to be better.

Originally aired on: January 1...

Chatting about: Time Matters…

In this episode, we talk about the time we spend “doing” with our horses versus “being” with our horses. There are so many practical things that need to be done with horses to keep them healthy and happy that sometimes we run out of time for the things that feed the soul. Even taking five minutes of BEING with horses in a way that values how they feel, and how we feel together, and what they are intere...

Chatting about: Finding Light, Playing With Darkness…

In this episode, we talk about the good and the bad, the light and the dark, the awake and the resting times, and how everything exists on a spectrum. Where we place our attention perpetuates behaviors in our horses, and because of that, we are going to place our attention more on the good, the light, and the awake times. The bad, the dark, and the resting times will also exist,...

Chatting about: Using Your Powers For Good Or Evil…

In this episode, we talk about the enormous amount of power we have in relationships due to the quantity of small responses we give in a million little moments. Horses tend to remember behaviors that trigger a feeling response in themselves and a change in behavior in others. Horses repeat what they remember. We have so much power to help them remember and then repeat the behavior...

Chatting about: A Question Worth Asking…

In this episode, we talk about how Relationships are made up of questions and answers. Sometimes, it can feel like life is just a series of problems to be solved, but when our patterns of stress come down to a reasonable level, those "problems" become simply questions worth answering. If we organize our questions to our horses in a way that focuses on things important to them first, then the...

Chatting about: How Horses Ask For Connection…

In this episode, we talk about how connection is made up of a series of actions showing how well a partner is known and understood. Horses ask for connection (ask to be known and understood better) by breaking harmony, either through push or pull. As humans we can choose to see that push or pull for the ask it is or we can punish the request for connection. The key is in the timing of ...

Chatting about: Ripples of Response...

In this episode, we talk about how to see the ripples of response within a herd of horses and how we can become part of these ripples. When a horse changes focus from one thing to another, their herd instinct wants someone else to notice also. If there is no response, there may be an escalation in stress and more obvious push or pull behaviors. When stress goes up the right amount, curiosity i...