August 22, 2024 • 30 mins
Welcome to "That Other Lifestyle Podcast," hosted by Jason. In this episode, we explore the exciting world of hotel takeovers. Discover how these events, filled with lifestyle people, singles, and throuples, transform ordinary hotels into extraordinary parties.
Jason breaks down everything you need to know about attending a hotel takeover, from what to expect and what to bring, to how to make the most of your experience. He shares insights on partial versus full takeovers, the importance of privacy, and the exhilarating atmosphere of these events.
Whether you're a seasoned participant or new to the lifestyle, this episode offers valuable tips on preparation, setting expectations, and making connections. Learn about the nuances of costumes, room decorations, and the etiquette of these unique gatherings.
Jason also touches on the inclusivity of the lifestyle community, ensuring that everyone feels welcome, regardless of their background or play style. With practical advice for introverts and considerations for those with sensory issues, this episode is a comprehensive guide to navigating hotel takeovers with confidence and excitement.
Join us as we delve into the vibrant world of hotel takeovers and get ready to party like never before!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Music.
(00:06):
Afternoon, good evening. Wherever you are, I hope you have blue skies and an
awesome party on the horizon. Welcome to that other lifestyle podcast.
I am your host, Jason. Leave vanilla behind as we dive into the lifestyle.
This weekend, or maybe next weekend, or maybe last weekend, there is a hotel somewhere.
Could be in another city, it could be your own city. And that hotel is,
(00:28):
will be, and has been taken over by 50, 100,
500 lifestyle style couples, swingers, singles, and throuples,
converging for a glorious night or many days of partying and having fun.
Hotel takeovers happen. They happen, and the vanilla world has no idea.
Dramatic introduction.
Today, we are talking about how to attend a hotel takeover, what to expect,
(00:52):
what to bring, how to have fun, and hopefully, blow a bunch of vanilla minds along the way.
You want to deeper toes into the lifestyle or make the switch to a new adult social site?
You can find a link to sign up for a trial account of sdc.com
on my website thatotherlifestyle.com i
revamped my website so please go take a look i have
a blog where i will do my very best to write new articles every day single men
(01:16):
the link for the single men's guide to the lifestyle course right there at the
top of the page please note this podcast is intended for only for adults it
is totally not safe for work we will talk about adult or sexual topics and i'm
going to use some salty language often.
This content is for entertainment purposes only, and again, only for those over 18 years of age.
I also try to be as inclusive with my language and terms as I can.
(01:39):
It can be challenging to formulate and write and say all the inclusive terms in every instance.
For simplicity's sake and time management, I may use terms like husband or wife
or partner or spouse for the purpose of the narrative I am sharing.
This podcast, it is for everyone though, no matter your background,
gender identity, gender expression, or whatever truth you may be living.
Everyone is welcome, no matter how you personally experience the lifestyle and ethical non-monogamy.
(02:02):
As I alluded to in the intro, hotel takeovers are a thing and they are everywhere.
We are going to the Risque Lifestyle Party's back-to-school hotel takeover in
Baton Rouge, Louisiana on August 30th and 31st, 2024, in case this is in the
future, and that upcoming trip.
It inspired me to talk about how to do a hotel takeover.
I often wonder how many times in my life, before we joined the lifestyle,
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did I encounter a hotel takeover and didn't know it.
If there was ever a time I stayed at a hotel, checked out, and went about my
merry life, not knowing that the next night, hundreds of lifestyle people would
gather and dance till dawn in the same building.
I tell vanilla people about takeovers, and they are bewildered.
It's one of those mind-blown moments.
It's the sense that there is a big social event, and they don't know anything
(02:48):
about it. No one told them.
And that's the point. we fly way under
the radar unless the hotel takeover books out
100 of a hotel there is very
little in the way of decorations or signage or anything outside of the main
party room you have no idea what is going on if you went there and if you went
to the lobby or if you stayed the night at the hotel lifestyle people we are
(03:10):
sneaky like that now i know they exist i know where to find them and i will
tell you how to find them prepare for them and all the little things that go along with them.
So what is a hotel takeover and what are they like? Simple answer.
A hotel takeover is when a lifestyle promoter or organizer takes over an entire
hotel and throws a party.
There are a lot of companies out there that do provide these takeovers and they
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totally different in different scale.
Some parties are smaller, say a hundred couples or so, while others can have
upwards of a thousand people in attendance.
Totally depends on the location. Let's stop for a minute and talk about partial versus full takeovers.
Depending on the venue size and the party size, a hotel takeover may be a partial or a full takeover.
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A partial takeover is when only part of the hotel is taken over by spicy lifestyle
people versus the whole hotel, as in a full hotel takeover.
For a partial takeover, usually the organizers will put all the sexy spicy people
on the same floors, so noise is not as much a concern and you are much less
likely to bother any vanilla people staying there.
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Full takeover, just as the name implies. The entire hotel, that whole property,
is gonna be taken over by lifestyle people.
It is good to know ahead of time if an event is a partial or a full takeover.
Do not think that a partial takeover is inferior in any way to a full takeover.
The downside of a full takeover is they tend to be more expensive.
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Literally, it costs more money for the ticket in the room.
Downside of a partial takeover, yeah, there might be some vanilla people running around the building.
If you're at a partial takeover, be aware of any rules a hotel may put in place
to keep the crowd separate, like spicy people have to use a special elevator,
or we need to keep all the shenanigans to a certain part of the building.
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For instance, National Lifestyle Weekend in Las Vegas next year,
June 19th through the 21st, 2025, will be a full three hotel takeover.
Thousands of people. And because it's a full takeover, two of the hotels will
have topless pool parties and maybe a third one.
Okay, we're adding stuff to this thing all the time. So listen to the podcast
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and we'll keep you up to date on it.
But with a full takeovers like that, there's no worry about vanilla people just
staring or being aghast.
Then on the opposite end of the spectrum, there are small regional takeovers.
So maybe a hundred or 200 couples, big cities host them way more often than
little cities. So you may have to travel for a takeover.
I'm going to tell you it's usually worth it though. The next question is the
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why. Why do we do hotel takeovers?
Privacy and dedicated lifestyle spaces. I have talked about it before how hard
it can be to find spaces that allow lifestyle people to be free and to be themselves.
Hotel takeovers offer that, with the added benefit of having a hotel room in the same building.
There might be a big dance party in the ballroom or spicy fun around the hotel pool.
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From the outside, vanilla people have no idea what's going on,
and y'all, I just love that because it adds to the fun of it.
As with most things in the lifestyle, looking in from the vanilla world,
takeovers are not what you think.
We do not take over the ballroom and and have a 100-person orgy.
There's actually very little nudity allowed at these parties and public spaces
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because it's still considered a public space.
At most, the pool might be topless, but you aren't going to see dangly bits
flopping around in public.
Good rule of thumb for how to dress for a takeover. Keep the nips and the lips
and the dangly bits covered.
Takeovers could be a one-night party or a multi-day affair. It depends on the
setup. You need to be prepared for whatever the party throws at you.
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Plus side though, you got a hotel room. That is awesome. It's an easy location
to keep your stuff and sleep.
I'm using broad generalizations here because really every event has a different setup and vibe.
Some are classy, swanky penthouse parties. Others are debaucherous parties on
par with college ragers.
It just depends. And there are events out there to fit your own personal taste and preferences.
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If you are thinking of going to a takeover, there's a couple of factors to consider.
Cost, definitely the first and the biggest. You need to ask ahead of time,
is the room covered in the ticket price?
Is the ticket only for the party? What else is being offered? Is there food nearby?
I eat often. So that's always a consideration for me.
A person might want a small intimate takeover if only like 20 couples or a couple
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might want the big thousand person event.
Personal preference, totally on that. I do encourage everyone to at least try a takeover.
I recommend risque lifestyle parties because they offer a nice balance between
big, bombastic, loud, and it still feels intimate.
Another factor that matters to me a lot. But security and safety,
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we don't often talk about physical
safety in the lifestyle, or at least we don't talk about it enough.
My wife is the most precious person to me in the universe.
Her safety and comfort are my highest priorities whenever we go to a party or
a takeover. It ain't getting laid.
It ain't meeting people. I want to know first and foremost that she's okay.
So yeah, I always consider security and how safe is an event.
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If we go to a takeover and I get the wrong vibe, I can't really describe it,
but you know when you feel it, we're out.
To risk a lifestyle party's credit, I always have a good vibe at their events.
Security is present, easily recognizable.
The host of the event is always around watching the crowd. I like that.
That gives me those warm and fuzzy safety feelings.
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Where do you find takeovers? As you know, we in the lifestyle,
we can't advertise well, or at least in any space those vanilla people might see us.
Usually, you will find the takeovers on adult social sites like SDC.
Go look under events and parties, depending on however the site's structured.
A wild nuance of lifestyle marketing I've learned is no one ever says swinger
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or you're not going to see that word used in any capacity to advertise in the lifestyle.
We might say couples retreat or usually just lifestyle.
That's the code word. No one is out there waving the swinger banner for an event
because that could attract undue attention.
Everyone knows what a swinger means, but lifestyle, that word,
(09:21):
can be a lot more nuanced and nebulous. lists.
Who can attend a takeover? I ask rhetorically. The answer is anyone.
As long as you're okay with freedom of sexual expression, have an open mind,
and want to have fun with other people, yeah, come on, let's go have fun.
Yes, you can attend a takeover if you are no swap.
I want to make that point very clear. There is no requirement on your particular
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play style for attending a takeover.
I know of no swap couples who go to takeovers because they just like the energy.
They like to a party. They have no intention of swapping or doing anything with
anyone besides their own spouse. And they have a blast.
I promise no one is going to be at the front door asking to see your lifestyle credentials.
I want people to know that everyone is welcome at these parties.
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The lifestyle is very inclusive and it's a very open community. So don't sweat it.
If you've never swapped with anyone, you can still come and hang out with us.
Can vanilla people go to a takeover? Well, if you happen to find out about it,
buy a ticket and are cool with being around a pack of lifestyle people, sure.
But I figure by that point, you're no longer like truly vanilla.
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You fall more into like the lifestyle adjacent category.
Single men, calling y'all out on this one.
Takeovers vary on whether they allow singles, male or female to attend.
Some parties do allow single women, but no single men.
Or if they do allow single men, there's that single male tax,
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and the ticket's going to cost more.
And maybe they do allow single men if you're partnered up with a single woman
in the same room. You need to read the fine print on this one.
The other objection, which might be the right word to attending a takeover,
is that people don't like big groups of other humans. Maybe they're shy or they're self-conscious.
I conjecture and propose that a takeover is a good place to go,
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even for those extreme introverts and outright antisocial people.
Unlike a club, which is really just a big old nightclub with room for fuckery,
a hotel takeover, by the very name, there's a hotel.
A hotel room, a private space to retreat to if you do become overwhelmed and need a break.
You have your own space to go and reset your brain.
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You can do this, I promise. It is worth it.
And I'll talk about more considerations for people with sensory issues and extreme
introverts later. Just note, no one is forcing anyone to stay at the party until
4 a.m. shuffling around like a zombie.
No one is making anyone stay in a situation they are uncomfortable with.
You go check out the party for an hour, get your fill of it,
and be done for the night. One thing I do recommend for every couple going to
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a takeover to do with great respect is to clarify and understand the operating
procedures for the takeover.
As in, if you meet a couple, brand new couple, are you going to take them back
to your room to bang it out?
Are you going in with expectations of meeting a couple? Are you looking to get laid?
Are you just looking for sex or maybe just want to enjoy the atmosphere? sphere.
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Be clear on what both of you are expecting from the event, what you are going
to do depending on different scenarios.
Four people standing in an elevator, you are attempting to have a telepathic
conversation with your spouse, trying to figure out if they are on board.
None of us have superpowers yet.
Talk ahead of time. This saves so much awkwardness later in the night.
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Have the discussion before the party with your spouse and run through different scenarios.
What do we do if we meet a couple we both like? Is there a signal we could use
to denote this attraction?
Maybe in a sentence with the word meow or tug on your ear a few times?
Make it obvious and make it awkward. That's my only ask.
Are you comfortable with engaging in horizontal cardio at this event?
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Are we looking for new couples at this event? Set your personal expectations
for the night before y'all get to the event.
But with expectations, my advice for that is to have no expectations.
Go into the event with no plan. Yeah, you have scenarios in your brain of what
could happen, but expectations, putting pressure on yourself to do something
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or to achieve something, that just leads to pressure and stress.
Stress on you and stress on your partner.
Talk about what could happen. Be ready for it, but be flexible.
Remember, whatever happens, you get to spend the night with your spouse.
So that's a win right there.
Prepping for the event. What do you need to do? And what do you need to bring?
A ho bag and a recovery bag for sure.
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A ho bag is a little makeup bag or a clutch.
It's a small bag with a zipper and you put all your condoms and lube and sex stuff in there.
It's easy to grab and run to another room if
if needed like some horny horny marsupial recovery
bag this is a brilliant tip from my
wife a recovery bag has all the medicines and stuff you need to recover from
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a long night of partying so hangover cures pepto-bismol aspirin the idea it
came about from a takeover we went to a few months ago i woke up at 5 a.m with
terrible tequila heartburn.
I needed Tums so badly, and I couldn't find them without busting open all the
suitcases and turning on the light.
So my wife came up with the idea of a recovery bag.
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Everything we would need if you wake up in the middle of the night feeling terrible
with a hangover in one place.
Put it on the nightstand. It's easy to find in the middle of the night in a
dark room you don't know.
And depending on the party, we need to talk about packing Packing and costumes,
specifically packing costumes. So let me back up.
Costumes. Most all takeovers are going to have theme nights.
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Theme nights just like the sound, big dance party with a theme.
It's a reason to dress up. It could be aliens or a glow party.
For the next risque party, the themes are back to school and erotic prom, for instance.
So that's two nights, two people. We need four costumes.
I never knew I would have a hobby where dressing up in costumes as an adult would be such a big deal.
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I did a whole episode just on costumes, go listen to that one.
But packing costumes, this is where I can help right here.
It sounds like a lot, but we bring separate suitcases, a separate suitcase just for our costumes.
Or if you can't do that, you can't swing it at a minimum, get those packing
bags with the zipper on them, and you can pack each costume individually in its own bag.
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It makes getting dressed and planning out outfits so much easier,
especially if you go out all out out like my wife does.
Last Halloween, she made a Marie
Antoinette costume complete with a big bouffant wig and a custom corset.
She also carried around a head and a basket. This was all handmade stuff.
So yeah, a whole extra suitcase makes total sense.
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And another tip for my beautiful wife for the ladies. Man, y'all may need this too.
Shoes. So ladies, y'all want to wear those sparkly six six-inch heels for your
costume. Cool. Bring a backup pair of shoes.
Those heels are going to start hurting after a couple of hours of standing and
dancing. Bring a pair of backup sneakers.
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You go to the party, you get in your cute pictures, then at some point you can
go back to your room and change your shoes.
One other note about costumes and outfits, fucking glitter.
As someone who has cleaned up glitter after a house party, that shit is the devil.
Glitter will get everywhere and on everything.
This is another reason to pack costumes in their own bag.
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I have a pair of pants that will never be de-glittered. And it's so bad.
Some hotels and takeovers, they outright ban glitter.
So again, read the fine print on that one. I mentioned you have a hotel room.
Did I mention decorating that room?
Someone's ears perked up at that one. You can totally decorate your room.
Obviously, don't do any permanent damage to your room. But yeah,
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people decorate their rooms at these parties 3M strips masking tape any adhesive
that will not damage walls is your friend,
For the most bang for your buck in a small hotel room, lights are a great option.
Like spinning color lights or black lights are good, gives you a really big effect in a small space.
I've seen wildly decorated rooms at takeovers. They got bring blankets from
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home and projectors and lights and moving furniture around.
Make it your own for the night. Another consideration, to set up a date or not.
Should you reach out to couples in advance and line up sexy time at the takeover?
I don't know. I don't know you well enough to answer that, but we can certainly
look at the pros and cons and then you can decide.
Pro tip for the takeover, you look around, you might find a chat group somewhere
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like Facebook or Telegram or on one of the social sites.
This is a good way to meet people in advance and be kind of sneaky and check
out couples ahead of time.
Leading up to the takeover, go look at the guest list.
Maybe a few couples catch your eye and you reach out to them.
Everyone starts chatting and hits it off.
Then the plan is to meet in person at the takeover. You have people lined up
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to meet and hang out with and potentially get lucky.
People to just hang out with is an amazing, wonderful thing at these takeovers.
This could be good. It alleviates the concern of meeting people at the event
or having no one to talk to. Or the flip side, the con.
You may have unintentionally locked yourself in with a couple that you're not
really feeling the connection with in person.
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Or maybe there's another couple at the takeover you like and prefer better.
I can't tell you which which one to go with on this one. It could be great.
It could be a landmine, but this is a good segue though into making connections.
Have I told you all about couples business cards? I know I mentioned it previously
in some previous episode.
Some couples hand out business cards. It has their profile name, their play style.
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You can find templates online and make one. Put a picture on the card,
a QR code that links to your bio on one of the social sites, first name only.
And like, look at the card. You have a very discerning eye.
You want to put enough information on there that people in the lifestyle can
identify you, but the vanilla world cannot.
Stay away from phone numbers and super identifiable information.
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I like linking to a social site, which means your info is locked behind a paywall.
So if nosy vanilla people find the card, it's useless to them.
Let me explain how QR codes work.
They are super useful for this. Do you ever see a square with little black and
white squares inside of it. It looks like one of those 3D magic eye posters.
That's a QR code. They are everywhere. And you can make your own.
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There are free services online that will convert a URL to a QR code for you.
And then you can save that image, that QR code image, and put it wherever you want.
So go to whatever adult social sites you use. I always recommend sdc.com, but you do you.
You copy the URL for your profile into one of these free QR code converters.
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You get the image of the code and then you can put it on your card.
The benefit of this method is, like I mentioned, is your profile is behind a paywall on that site.
So if vanilla people find it, they can't access the site to see the profile and see who you are.
After you get the QR code, though, you can do whatever you want with it.
Put it on a business card, make a big-ass poster and slap it on your door.
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Get them printed on swag you give away at events.
Whatever puts your information into the hands of the people that you want to remember you.
It's the same problem that you run into at any lifestyle event.
In. It's a big, loud party.
It's going to be hard to connect, even harder to remember people's names and
face, and then try to find them later.
Business cards are a good solution to this. If y'all meet a couple,
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you hit it off, you give them a card to remember you.
And the sky's the limit on what you give out. Business cards,
personalized hand fans,
we've done silicone bracelets, necklaces, any physical medium that's easy to
carry that has your name on it will work. We did all the prep. We got to the venue.
We got checked into the room. Now what? Now we party.
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Words of wisdom. If this is a multi-day event, do not go balls to the wall hard on the first night.
I learned this the hard way. Pace yourself. If it's a one-night event,
yes, go balls to the wall hard for that one night. Practical advice for the introverts out there.
Congratulations, you have summoned the courage to show up. Now,
go talk to people. I get it easier said than done.
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I suggest making it into a game. Give yourself a goal of meeting or talking
to three or four or ten couples.
When you hit that number, you win. And what do you win? You get to go back to
your hotel room and go to bed.
Sleeping is fucking amazing and I love it. As I mentioned earlier,
we are going to the Risque Back to School Party at the end of August.
If you're thinking about going, you probably still have time to get tickets
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at risquelifestyleparties.com.
And if you're listening to this in the future, then look up their next party.
Some hotel takeovers will have events during the day, like a pool party or seminars
or mixers to fill the day out. Some do not.
The main event, though, is the party at night.
Using risque as the model for this discussion, there is a party in the hotel ballroom at night.
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It usually starts around 9 p.m. and then it goes until 3, 4 o'clock in the morning.
There's a DJ playing music all night, decorations, people in snazzy outfits.
So what do you do at these parties? You mix, mingle, dance, make out,
you know, the usual stuff we do on Saturday nights.
Swinging back to this point, see what I did there? there is
typically usually most of the time like i'm
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talking about 99 of the time there is
no nudity on the dance floor please do not get
naked on the dance floor keep the nips and the lips and
the dangly bits covered if you want to get naked and frisky find a room you
degenerate i know it can be surprising to our vanilla audience but these parties
they are not free for roles like you imagine or maybe porn portrays we are still
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in a public space and need to respect the rules of society. Let me throw this in here. Alcohol.
Yes, you have a hotel room that you can keep your drinks in.
You can keep liquor in your room, and then you got to run back and forth all night.
Some venues do have rules around bringing outside beverages and cups into the actual party space.
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So again, read the fine print. The venue will probably set up a bar inside the party area.
Go to that bar, frequent it, buy a couple of drinks, make sure you tip the bartenders.
I need to talk about pictures.
Just come on with me. Let's just go on a little tangent here.
Do not take pictures at these events. I have talked about this before,
and it needs to be repeated.
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Do not take pictures at the event outside of designated spaces for pictures. What?
Yes. Usually these parties will have a big old backdrop.
Maybe they're going to have some ring lights for good lighting.
This is the place that you take pictures.
This is the only place you should take pictures. don't
be sneaky and grab a picture of everyone on the dance floor
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maybe you see your bestie and y'all both look just
super cute y'all haul your asses over
to the backdrop for pictures this is a
big deal this is one of those things that people don't think is a big deal but
it's a big fucking deal let's say you and your bestie snap a pic at the party
and then you post it to social media and tag it with some jackass thing like
we had a blast at this hotel takeover congratulations you just has outed everyone
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in the background of that picture.
Do not do that. It is somewhere beyond social faux pas borderline on the jackass.
Don't accidentally out people just because you just had to have a picture in that moment.
Everyone understands that the area with the backdrop is the only place where someone may take a pic.
If they don't want to be in a picture, they're just going to scoot their happy
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asses right on past and go about their night.
Please be considerate on this one. For those with sensory issues,
those who are adverse to thumping music who may be hesitant about going to a
loud party like a hotel takeover, I propose that a hotel takeover is actually good.
Hear me out. I get it if you're the kind of person who does not like super loud
noises and music, fair enough.
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A hotel takeover offers that good balance between the party environment you're
going going to find at a nightclub and a quiet space like your hotel room.
Plus, you can wear earplugs like nobody will notice. I promise.
Just get a little pair of earplugs, stick them in your ears, boom, noise gone.
You can have the experience in a controlled manner. You can dictate how long
you're in the environment. And when you get overwhelmed, you can leave.
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You can go back to your own room and decompress. It's bending back to the differences
between full and partial takeovers.
Takeovers full takeovers may and
can offer dedicated playrooms either
hotel rooms or spaces somewhere on the property for fuckery
the organizers bring in decorations beds curtains all that stuff if there is
a playroom going to probably have the same rules as a playroom at a club don't
(25:54):
touch without consent watch if the participants are comfortable with that and
respect any rules that are posted around partial takeovers will probably not
have dedicated playrooms.
But you got a hotel room, maybe a thoughtfully decorated hotel room for fuckery.
Pro tip, if you plan on having guests in your room after the party, clean your room, y'all.
Close the suitcases, throw away the trash, make it an inviting environment.
(26:18):
It is your temporary home away from home, so be conscientious of your guests
and just tidy up the room before company comes over.
The morning after the party, you may be in some rough shape.
You may be hungover, sore, and ready to go home.
I did a whole episode on how to recover from takeovers in a party,
so go check that one out. In short.
(26:38):
Eat something, preferably not greasy or heavy on your stomach.
Take a nap if you can, rest, and recuperate.
After the party, your next steps. You need to follow up on the connections you made the night before.
Let's say you meet a really cool couple at the event. You remember their names
and a little bit of their faces and maybe her awesome titties.
So you get on the social sites and you start looking for them.
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And of course, everyone blurs out their faces. So womp womp, missed connection.
Have hope though. We have a few tools at our disposal. Go check the guest list for the event.
You might get lucky, and even with blurred faces, something about the profile jogs your memory.
If you can, try to get a screen name when you're talking to a couple.
Make a mental note of that name.
That's going to help you find them later. Or just reach out to friends who may
(27:21):
have been at the party and see if they know the couple's names.
All else fails, just go to the next party and hope they're there.
Now, to talk about an aspect of these parties that is real, that is valid,
and I've seen it in action, and we need to address it. clicks.
Clusters of people that cluster together, forming an impenetrable wall that no one can break into.
(27:42):
It happens. I have seen it. It's a thing.
Clicks. They exist in the lifestyle. They exist in the vanilla world.
Yes, all this bullshit can feel very fucking high school.
Can't deny that. While that word click has negative connotations, it does.
They're a lot more innocent than they appear. It's just a group of people who
know each other. They're friends. They hang out together and at this event,
(28:05):
they're clustered together.
I keep using the word cluster because it is the absolute best word to describe it.
They tend to move as one cohesive unit, like a school of fish.
Anytime you encounter a clique of people, flip the narrative in your head and
think of them like a school of fish.
Suddenly, all this becomes way less intimidating. Standing on the outside,
(28:26):
It appears and can feel that you're being excluded from this group.
You are not. At least in 99% of cases, you are not.
There are genuine cliques of humans in the lifestyle who have a very exclusionary
attitude towards everyone else.
They suck, all right? And it's better to avoid them than interact with them.
But for the other people, for the other 99% of cases, people subconsciously
(28:50):
are doing this and it's not an intentional thing about being standoffish towards anyone.
Parties and takeovers do bring out the clicks in humans. It happens. It's in our nature.
Remember, though, while you're at this party, you want to meet people.
So you do that by going up to people and introducing yourself.
Granted, it takes bravery and social skills, but I fucking believe in you.
(29:12):
You walk up and say, hi, my name is this.
We are from here. This is our first party. Are you having fun?
I have the whole take your shot conversation guide available on my website.
Or when you sign up for the mailing list, you get that for free.
That is an awesome, super cool tool to get a conversation started.
Most people will be super cool about it and reciprocate and talk back to you.
(29:36):
Having something to give a person like a card or a bracelet that really helps
break the ice too if they don't look To be totally honest if you walk into somebody
and they are just not reciprocating It's like talking to a wall.
Fuck them or they act like you're bothering them. Fuck them walk away It's not
you it's them and it is better to keep those kind of people out of your life
(30:00):
any fucking way way, then interact with them.
I always appreciate hearing your feedback and comments on episodes or suggestions
for topics, so feel free to reach out to me.
Single guys, listen to me. You need my course. Go to thatotherlifestyle.com for more information.
My personal disclaimer, I am not a medical professional nor a trained and certified
educator of any kind in any way.
I am a guy with a microphone sharing my personal experiences with you.
(30:23):
This podcast is for entertainment purposes is only. Please join us for the next episode.
Whatever you may do today, I hope you have a fantastic time doing it.
Know that you are appreciated and loved. Have a great day.
Music.
Music.
(00:06):
Afternoon, good evening. Wherever you are, I hope you have blue skies and an
awesome party on the horizon. Welcome to that other lifestyle podcast.
I am your host, Jason. Leave vanilla behind as we dive into the lifestyle.
This weekend, or maybe next weekend, or maybe last weekend, there is a hotel somewhere.
Could be in another city, it could be your own city. And that hotel is,
(00:28):
will be, and has been taken over by 50, 100,
500 lifestyle style couples, swingers, singles, and throuples,
converging for a glorious night or many days of partying and having fun.
Hotel takeovers happen. They happen, and the vanilla world has no idea.
Dramatic introduction.
Today, we are talking about how to attend a hotel takeover, what to expect,
(00:52):
what to bring, how to have fun, and hopefully, blow a bunch of vanilla minds along the way.
You want to deeper toes into the lifestyle or make the switch to a new adult social site?
You can find a link to sign up for a trial account of sdc.com
on my website thatotherlifestyle.com i
revamped my website so please go take a look i have
a blog where i will do my very best to write new articles every day single men
(01:16):
the link for the single men's guide to the lifestyle course right there at the
top of the page please note this podcast is intended for only for adults it
is totally not safe for work we will talk about adult or sexual topics and i'm
going to use some salty language often.
This content is for entertainment purposes only, and again, only for those over 18 years of age.
I also try to be as inclusive with my language and terms as I can.
(01:39):
It can be challenging to formulate and write and say all the inclusive terms in every instance.
For simplicity's sake and time management, I may use terms like husband or wife
or partner or spouse for the purpose of the narrative I am sharing.
This podcast, it is for everyone though, no matter your background,
gender identity, gender expression, or whatever truth you may be living.
Everyone is welcome, no matter how you personally experience the lifestyle and ethical non-monogamy.
(02:02):
As I alluded to in the intro, hotel takeovers are a thing and they are everywhere.
We are going to the Risque Lifestyle Party's back-to-school hotel takeover in
Baton Rouge, Louisiana on August 30th and 31st, 2024, in case this is in the
future, and that upcoming trip.
It inspired me to talk about how to do a hotel takeover.
I often wonder how many times in my life, before we joined the lifestyle,
(02:25):
did I encounter a hotel takeover and didn't know it.
If there was ever a time I stayed at a hotel, checked out, and went about my
merry life, not knowing that the next night, hundreds of lifestyle people would
gather and dance till dawn in the same building.
I tell vanilla people about takeovers, and they are bewildered.
It's one of those mind-blown moments.
It's the sense that there is a big social event, and they don't know anything
(02:48):
about it. No one told them.
And that's the point. we fly way under
the radar unless the hotel takeover books out
100 of a hotel there is very
little in the way of decorations or signage or anything outside of the main
party room you have no idea what is going on if you went there and if you went
to the lobby or if you stayed the night at the hotel lifestyle people we are
(03:10):
sneaky like that now i know they exist i know where to find them and i will
tell you how to find them prepare for them and all the little things that go along with them.
So what is a hotel takeover and what are they like? Simple answer.
A hotel takeover is when a lifestyle promoter or organizer takes over an entire
hotel and throws a party.
There are a lot of companies out there that do provide these takeovers and they
(03:31):
totally different in different scale.
Some parties are smaller, say a hundred couples or so, while others can have
upwards of a thousand people in attendance.
Totally depends on the location. Let's stop for a minute and talk about partial versus full takeovers.
Depending on the venue size and the party size, a hotel takeover may be a partial or a full takeover.
(03:54):
A partial takeover is when only part of the hotel is taken over by spicy lifestyle
people versus the whole hotel, as in a full hotel takeover.
For a partial takeover, usually the organizers will put all the sexy spicy people
on the same floors, so noise is not as much a concern and you are much less
likely to bother any vanilla people staying there.
(04:15):
Full takeover, just as the name implies. The entire hotel, that whole property,
is gonna be taken over by lifestyle people.
It is good to know ahead of time if an event is a partial or a full takeover.
Do not think that a partial takeover is inferior in any way to a full takeover.
The downside of a full takeover is they tend to be more expensive.
(04:37):
Literally, it costs more money for the ticket in the room.
Downside of a partial takeover, yeah, there might be some vanilla people running around the building.
If you're at a partial takeover, be aware of any rules a hotel may put in place
to keep the crowd separate, like spicy people have to use a special elevator,
or we need to keep all the shenanigans to a certain part of the building.
(04:57):
For instance, National Lifestyle Weekend in Las Vegas next year,
June 19th through the 21st, 2025, will be a full three hotel takeover.
Thousands of people. And because it's a full takeover, two of the hotels will
have topless pool parties and maybe a third one.
Okay, we're adding stuff to this thing all the time. So listen to the podcast
(05:21):
and we'll keep you up to date on it.
But with a full takeovers like that, there's no worry about vanilla people just
staring or being aghast.
Then on the opposite end of the spectrum, there are small regional takeovers.
So maybe a hundred or 200 couples, big cities host them way more often than
little cities. So you may have to travel for a takeover.
I'm going to tell you it's usually worth it though. The next question is the
(05:43):
why. Why do we do hotel takeovers?
Privacy and dedicated lifestyle spaces. I have talked about it before how hard
it can be to find spaces that allow lifestyle people to be free and to be themselves.
Hotel takeovers offer that, with the added benefit of having a hotel room in the same building.
There might be a big dance party in the ballroom or spicy fun around the hotel pool.
(06:06):
From the outside, vanilla people have no idea what's going on,
and y'all, I just love that because it adds to the fun of it.
As with most things in the lifestyle, looking in from the vanilla world,
takeovers are not what you think.
We do not take over the ballroom and and have a 100-person orgy.
There's actually very little nudity allowed at these parties and public spaces
(06:26):
because it's still considered a public space.
At most, the pool might be topless, but you aren't going to see dangly bits
flopping around in public.
Good rule of thumb for how to dress for a takeover. Keep the nips and the lips
and the dangly bits covered.
Takeovers could be a one-night party or a multi-day affair. It depends on the
setup. You need to be prepared for whatever the party throws at you.
(06:48):
Plus side though, you got a hotel room. That is awesome. It's an easy location
to keep your stuff and sleep.
I'm using broad generalizations here because really every event has a different setup and vibe.
Some are classy, swanky penthouse parties. Others are debaucherous parties on
par with college ragers.
It just depends. And there are events out there to fit your own personal taste and preferences.
(07:10):
If you are thinking of going to a takeover, there's a couple of factors to consider.
Cost, definitely the first and the biggest. You need to ask ahead of time,
is the room covered in the ticket price?
Is the ticket only for the party? What else is being offered? Is there food nearby?
I eat often. So that's always a consideration for me.
A person might want a small intimate takeover if only like 20 couples or a couple
(07:35):
might want the big thousand person event.
Personal preference, totally on that. I do encourage everyone to at least try a takeover.
I recommend risque lifestyle parties because they offer a nice balance between
big, bombastic, loud, and it still feels intimate.
Another factor that matters to me a lot. But security and safety,
(07:55):
we don't often talk about physical
safety in the lifestyle, or at least we don't talk about it enough.
My wife is the most precious person to me in the universe.
Her safety and comfort are my highest priorities whenever we go to a party or
a takeover. It ain't getting laid.
It ain't meeting people. I want to know first and foremost that she's okay.
So yeah, I always consider security and how safe is an event.
(08:19):
If we go to a takeover and I get the wrong vibe, I can't really describe it,
but you know when you feel it, we're out.
To risk a lifestyle party's credit, I always have a good vibe at their events.
Security is present, easily recognizable.
The host of the event is always around watching the crowd. I like that.
That gives me those warm and fuzzy safety feelings.
(08:39):
Where do you find takeovers? As you know, we in the lifestyle,
we can't advertise well, or at least in any space those vanilla people might see us.
Usually, you will find the takeovers on adult social sites like SDC.
Go look under events and parties, depending on however the site's structured.
A wild nuance of lifestyle marketing I've learned is no one ever says swinger
(09:01):
or you're not going to see that word used in any capacity to advertise in the lifestyle.
We might say couples retreat or usually just lifestyle.
That's the code word. No one is out there waving the swinger banner for an event
because that could attract undue attention.
Everyone knows what a swinger means, but lifestyle, that word,
(09:21):
can be a lot more nuanced and nebulous. lists.
Who can attend a takeover? I ask rhetorically. The answer is anyone.
As long as you're okay with freedom of sexual expression, have an open mind,
and want to have fun with other people, yeah, come on, let's go have fun.
Yes, you can attend a takeover if you are no swap.
I want to make that point very clear. There is no requirement on your particular
(09:42):
play style for attending a takeover.
I know of no swap couples who go to takeovers because they just like the energy.
They like to a party. They have no intention of swapping or doing anything with
anyone besides their own spouse. And they have a blast.
I promise no one is going to be at the front door asking to see your lifestyle credentials.
I want people to know that everyone is welcome at these parties.
(10:05):
The lifestyle is very inclusive and it's a very open community. So don't sweat it.
If you've never swapped with anyone, you can still come and hang out with us.
Can vanilla people go to a takeover? Well, if you happen to find out about it,
buy a ticket and are cool with being around a pack of lifestyle people, sure.
But I figure by that point, you're no longer like truly vanilla.
(10:26):
You fall more into like the lifestyle adjacent category.
Single men, calling y'all out on this one.
Takeovers vary on whether they allow singles, male or female to attend.
Some parties do allow single women, but no single men.
Or if they do allow single men, there's that single male tax,
(10:47):
and the ticket's going to cost more.
And maybe they do allow single men if you're partnered up with a single woman
in the same room. You need to read the fine print on this one.
The other objection, which might be the right word to attending a takeover,
is that people don't like big groups of other humans. Maybe they're shy or they're self-conscious.
I conjecture and propose that a takeover is a good place to go,
(11:09):
even for those extreme introverts and outright antisocial people.
Unlike a club, which is really just a big old nightclub with room for fuckery,
a hotel takeover, by the very name, there's a hotel.
A hotel room, a private space to retreat to if you do become overwhelmed and need a break.
You have your own space to go and reset your brain.
(11:31):
You can do this, I promise. It is worth it.
And I'll talk about more considerations for people with sensory issues and extreme
introverts later. Just note, no one is forcing anyone to stay at the party until
4 a.m. shuffling around like a zombie.
No one is making anyone stay in a situation they are uncomfortable with.
You go check out the party for an hour, get your fill of it,
and be done for the night. One thing I do recommend for every couple going to
(11:55):
a takeover to do with great respect is to clarify and understand the operating
procedures for the takeover.
As in, if you meet a couple, brand new couple, are you going to take them back
to your room to bang it out?
Are you going in with expectations of meeting a couple? Are you looking to get laid?
Are you just looking for sex or maybe just want to enjoy the atmosphere? sphere.
(12:17):
Be clear on what both of you are expecting from the event, what you are going
to do depending on different scenarios.
Four people standing in an elevator, you are attempting to have a telepathic
conversation with your spouse, trying to figure out if they are on board.
None of us have superpowers yet.
Talk ahead of time. This saves so much awkwardness later in the night.
(12:38):
Have the discussion before the party with your spouse and run through different scenarios.
What do we do if we meet a couple we both like? Is there a signal we could use
to denote this attraction?
Maybe in a sentence with the word meow or tug on your ear a few times?
Make it obvious and make it awkward. That's my only ask.
Are you comfortable with engaging in horizontal cardio at this event?
(12:59):
Are we looking for new couples at this event? Set your personal expectations
for the night before y'all get to the event.
But with expectations, my advice for that is to have no expectations.
Go into the event with no plan. Yeah, you have scenarios in your brain of what
could happen, but expectations, putting pressure on yourself to do something
(13:20):
or to achieve something, that just leads to pressure and stress.
Stress on you and stress on your partner.
Talk about what could happen. Be ready for it, but be flexible.
Remember, whatever happens, you get to spend the night with your spouse.
So that's a win right there.
Prepping for the event. What do you need to do? And what do you need to bring?
A ho bag and a recovery bag for sure.
(13:41):
A ho bag is a little makeup bag or a clutch.
It's a small bag with a zipper and you put all your condoms and lube and sex stuff in there.
It's easy to grab and run to another room if
if needed like some horny horny marsupial recovery
bag this is a brilliant tip from my
wife a recovery bag has all the medicines and stuff you need to recover from
(14:05):
a long night of partying so hangover cures pepto-bismol aspirin the idea it
came about from a takeover we went to a few months ago i woke up at 5 a.m with
terrible tequila heartburn.
I needed Tums so badly, and I couldn't find them without busting open all the
suitcases and turning on the light.
So my wife came up with the idea of a recovery bag.
(14:28):
Everything we would need if you wake up in the middle of the night feeling terrible
with a hangover in one place.
Put it on the nightstand. It's easy to find in the middle of the night in a
dark room you don't know.
And depending on the party, we need to talk about packing Packing and costumes,
specifically packing costumes. So let me back up.
Costumes. Most all takeovers are going to have theme nights.
(14:52):
Theme nights just like the sound, big dance party with a theme.
It's a reason to dress up. It could be aliens or a glow party.
For the next risque party, the themes are back to school and erotic prom, for instance.
So that's two nights, two people. We need four costumes.
I never knew I would have a hobby where dressing up in costumes as an adult would be such a big deal.
(15:14):
I did a whole episode just on costumes, go listen to that one.
But packing costumes, this is where I can help right here.
It sounds like a lot, but we bring separate suitcases, a separate suitcase just for our costumes.
Or if you can't do that, you can't swing it at a minimum, get those packing
bags with the zipper on them, and you can pack each costume individually in its own bag.
(15:36):
It makes getting dressed and planning out outfits so much easier,
especially if you go out all out out like my wife does.
Last Halloween, she made a Marie
Antoinette costume complete with a big bouffant wig and a custom corset.
She also carried around a head and a basket. This was all handmade stuff.
So yeah, a whole extra suitcase makes total sense.
(15:57):
And another tip for my beautiful wife for the ladies. Man, y'all may need this too.
Shoes. So ladies, y'all want to wear those sparkly six six-inch heels for your
costume. Cool. Bring a backup pair of shoes.
Those heels are going to start hurting after a couple of hours of standing and
dancing. Bring a pair of backup sneakers.
(16:18):
You go to the party, you get in your cute pictures, then at some point you can
go back to your room and change your shoes.
One other note about costumes and outfits, fucking glitter.
As someone who has cleaned up glitter after a house party, that shit is the devil.
Glitter will get everywhere and on everything.
This is another reason to pack costumes in their own bag.
(16:39):
I have a pair of pants that will never be de-glittered. And it's so bad.
Some hotels and takeovers, they outright ban glitter.
So again, read the fine print on that one. I mentioned you have a hotel room.
Did I mention decorating that room?
Someone's ears perked up at that one. You can totally decorate your room.
Obviously, don't do any permanent damage to your room. But yeah,
(17:01):
people decorate their rooms at these parties 3M strips masking tape any adhesive
that will not damage walls is your friend,
For the most bang for your buck in a small hotel room, lights are a great option.
Like spinning color lights or black lights are good, gives you a really big effect in a small space.
I've seen wildly decorated rooms at takeovers. They got bring blankets from
(17:23):
home and projectors and lights and moving furniture around.
Make it your own for the night. Another consideration, to set up a date or not.
Should you reach out to couples in advance and line up sexy time at the takeover?
I don't know. I don't know you well enough to answer that, but we can certainly
look at the pros and cons and then you can decide.
Pro tip for the takeover, you look around, you might find a chat group somewhere
(17:48):
like Facebook or Telegram or on one of the social sites.
This is a good way to meet people in advance and be kind of sneaky and check
out couples ahead of time.
Leading up to the takeover, go look at the guest list.
Maybe a few couples catch your eye and you reach out to them.
Everyone starts chatting and hits it off.
Then the plan is to meet in person at the takeover. You have people lined up
(18:10):
to meet and hang out with and potentially get lucky.
People to just hang out with is an amazing, wonderful thing at these takeovers.
This could be good. It alleviates the concern of meeting people at the event
or having no one to talk to. Or the flip side, the con.
You may have unintentionally locked yourself in with a couple that you're not
really feeling the connection with in person.
(18:31):
Or maybe there's another couple at the takeover you like and prefer better.
I can't tell you which which one to go with on this one. It could be great.
It could be a landmine, but this is a good segue though into making connections.
Have I told you all about couples business cards? I know I mentioned it previously
in some previous episode.
Some couples hand out business cards. It has their profile name, their play style.
(18:53):
You can find templates online and make one. Put a picture on the card,
a QR code that links to your bio on one of the social sites, first name only.
And like, look at the card. You have a very discerning eye.
You want to put enough information on there that people in the lifestyle can
identify you, but the vanilla world cannot.
Stay away from phone numbers and super identifiable information.
(19:17):
I like linking to a social site, which means your info is locked behind a paywall.
So if nosy vanilla people find the card, it's useless to them.
Let me explain how QR codes work.
They are super useful for this. Do you ever see a square with little black and
white squares inside of it. It looks like one of those 3D magic eye posters.
That's a QR code. They are everywhere. And you can make your own.
(19:39):
There are free services online that will convert a URL to a QR code for you.
And then you can save that image, that QR code image, and put it wherever you want.
So go to whatever adult social sites you use. I always recommend sdc.com, but you do you.
You copy the URL for your profile into one of these free QR code converters.
(20:00):
You get the image of the code and then you can put it on your card.
The benefit of this method is, like I mentioned, is your profile is behind a paywall on that site.
So if vanilla people find it, they can't access the site to see the profile and see who you are.
After you get the QR code, though, you can do whatever you want with it.
Put it on a business card, make a big-ass poster and slap it on your door.
(20:22):
Get them printed on swag you give away at events.
Whatever puts your information into the hands of the people that you want to remember you.
It's the same problem that you run into at any lifestyle event.
In. It's a big, loud party.
It's going to be hard to connect, even harder to remember people's names and
face, and then try to find them later.
Business cards are a good solution to this. If y'all meet a couple,
(20:45):
you hit it off, you give them a card to remember you.
And the sky's the limit on what you give out. Business cards,
personalized hand fans,
we've done silicone bracelets, necklaces, any physical medium that's easy to
carry that has your name on it will work. We did all the prep. We got to the venue.
We got checked into the room. Now what? Now we party.
(21:06):
Words of wisdom. If this is a multi-day event, do not go balls to the wall hard on the first night.
I learned this the hard way. Pace yourself. If it's a one-night event,
yes, go balls to the wall hard for that one night. Practical advice for the introverts out there.
Congratulations, you have summoned the courage to show up. Now,
go talk to people. I get it easier said than done.
(21:27):
I suggest making it into a game. Give yourself a goal of meeting or talking
to three or four or ten couples.
When you hit that number, you win. And what do you win? You get to go back to
your hotel room and go to bed.
Sleeping is fucking amazing and I love it. As I mentioned earlier,
we are going to the Risque Back to School Party at the end of August.
If you're thinking about going, you probably still have time to get tickets
(21:49):
at risquelifestyleparties.com.
And if you're listening to this in the future, then look up their next party.
Some hotel takeovers will have events during the day, like a pool party or seminars
or mixers to fill the day out. Some do not.
The main event, though, is the party at night.
Using risque as the model for this discussion, there is a party in the hotel ballroom at night.
(22:10):
It usually starts around 9 p.m. and then it goes until 3, 4 o'clock in the morning.
There's a DJ playing music all night, decorations, people in snazzy outfits.
So what do you do at these parties? You mix, mingle, dance, make out,
you know, the usual stuff we do on Saturday nights.
Swinging back to this point, see what I did there? there is
typically usually most of the time like i'm
(22:33):
talking about 99 of the time there is
no nudity on the dance floor please do not get
naked on the dance floor keep the nips and the lips and
the dangly bits covered if you want to get naked and frisky find a room you
degenerate i know it can be surprising to our vanilla audience but these parties
they are not free for roles like you imagine or maybe porn portrays we are still
(22:55):
in a public space and need to respect the rules of society. Let me throw this in here. Alcohol.
Yes, you have a hotel room that you can keep your drinks in.
You can keep liquor in your room, and then you got to run back and forth all night.
Some venues do have rules around bringing outside beverages and cups into the actual party space.
(23:15):
So again, read the fine print. The venue will probably set up a bar inside the party area.
Go to that bar, frequent it, buy a couple of drinks, make sure you tip the bartenders.
I need to talk about pictures.
Just come on with me. Let's just go on a little tangent here.
Do not take pictures at these events. I have talked about this before,
and it needs to be repeated.
(23:36):
Do not take pictures at the event outside of designated spaces for pictures. What?
Yes. Usually these parties will have a big old backdrop.
Maybe they're going to have some ring lights for good lighting.
This is the place that you take pictures.
This is the only place you should take pictures. don't
be sneaky and grab a picture of everyone on the dance floor
(23:58):
maybe you see your bestie and y'all both look just
super cute y'all haul your asses over
to the backdrop for pictures this is a
big deal this is one of those things that people don't think is a big deal but
it's a big fucking deal let's say you and your bestie snap a pic at the party
and then you post it to social media and tag it with some jackass thing like
we had a blast at this hotel takeover congratulations you just has outed everyone
(24:23):
in the background of that picture.
Do not do that. It is somewhere beyond social faux pas borderline on the jackass.
Don't accidentally out people just because you just had to have a picture in that moment.
Everyone understands that the area with the backdrop is the only place where someone may take a pic.
If they don't want to be in a picture, they're just going to scoot their happy
(24:45):
asses right on past and go about their night.
Please be considerate on this one. For those with sensory issues,
those who are adverse to thumping music who may be hesitant about going to a
loud party like a hotel takeover, I propose that a hotel takeover is actually good.
Hear me out. I get it if you're the kind of person who does not like super loud
noises and music, fair enough.
(25:06):
A hotel takeover offers that good balance between the party environment you're
going going to find at a nightclub and a quiet space like your hotel room.
Plus, you can wear earplugs like nobody will notice. I promise.
Just get a little pair of earplugs, stick them in your ears, boom, noise gone.
You can have the experience in a controlled manner. You can dictate how long
you're in the environment. And when you get overwhelmed, you can leave.
(25:29):
You can go back to your own room and decompress. It's bending back to the differences
between full and partial takeovers.
Takeovers full takeovers may and
can offer dedicated playrooms either
hotel rooms or spaces somewhere on the property for fuckery
the organizers bring in decorations beds curtains all that stuff if there is
a playroom going to probably have the same rules as a playroom at a club don't
(25:54):
touch without consent watch if the participants are comfortable with that and
respect any rules that are posted around partial takeovers will probably not
have dedicated playrooms.
But you got a hotel room, maybe a thoughtfully decorated hotel room for fuckery.
Pro tip, if you plan on having guests in your room after the party, clean your room, y'all.
Close the suitcases, throw away the trash, make it an inviting environment.
(26:18):
It is your temporary home away from home, so be conscientious of your guests
and just tidy up the room before company comes over.
The morning after the party, you may be in some rough shape.
You may be hungover, sore, and ready to go home.
I did a whole episode on how to recover from takeovers in a party,
so go check that one out. In short.
(26:38):
Eat something, preferably not greasy or heavy on your stomach.
Take a nap if you can, rest, and recuperate.
After the party, your next steps. You need to follow up on the connections you made the night before.
Let's say you meet a really cool couple at the event. You remember their names
and a little bit of their faces and maybe her awesome titties.
So you get on the social sites and you start looking for them.
(26:59):
And of course, everyone blurs out their faces. So womp womp, missed connection.
Have hope though. We have a few tools at our disposal. Go check the guest list for the event.
You might get lucky, and even with blurred faces, something about the profile jogs your memory.
If you can, try to get a screen name when you're talking to a couple.
Make a mental note of that name.
That's going to help you find them later. Or just reach out to friends who may
(27:21):
have been at the party and see if they know the couple's names.
All else fails, just go to the next party and hope they're there.
Now, to talk about an aspect of these parties that is real, that is valid,
and I've seen it in action, and we need to address it. clicks.
Clusters of people that cluster together, forming an impenetrable wall that no one can break into.
(27:42):
It happens. I have seen it. It's a thing.
Clicks. They exist in the lifestyle. They exist in the vanilla world.
Yes, all this bullshit can feel very fucking high school.
Can't deny that. While that word click has negative connotations, it does.
They're a lot more innocent than they appear. It's just a group of people who
know each other. They're friends. They hang out together and at this event,
(28:05):
they're clustered together.
I keep using the word cluster because it is the absolute best word to describe it.
They tend to move as one cohesive unit, like a school of fish.
Anytime you encounter a clique of people, flip the narrative in your head and
think of them like a school of fish.
Suddenly, all this becomes way less intimidating. Standing on the outside,
(28:26):
It appears and can feel that you're being excluded from this group.
You are not. At least in 99% of cases, you are not.
There are genuine cliques of humans in the lifestyle who have a very exclusionary
attitude towards everyone else.
They suck, all right? And it's better to avoid them than interact with them.
But for the other people, for the other 99% of cases, people subconsciously
(28:50):
are doing this and it's not an intentional thing about being standoffish towards anyone.
Parties and takeovers do bring out the clicks in humans. It happens. It's in our nature.
Remember, though, while you're at this party, you want to meet people.
So you do that by going up to people and introducing yourself.
Granted, it takes bravery and social skills, but I fucking believe in you.
(29:12):
You walk up and say, hi, my name is this.
We are from here. This is our first party. Are you having fun?
I have the whole take your shot conversation guide available on my website.
Or when you sign up for the mailing list, you get that for free.
That is an awesome, super cool tool to get a conversation started.
Most people will be super cool about it and reciprocate and talk back to you.
(29:36):
Having something to give a person like a card or a bracelet that really helps
break the ice too if they don't look To be totally honest if you walk into somebody
and they are just not reciprocating It's like talking to a wall.
Fuck them or they act like you're bothering them. Fuck them walk away It's not
you it's them and it is better to keep those kind of people out of your life
(30:00):
any fucking way way, then interact with them.
I always appreciate hearing your feedback and comments on episodes or suggestions
for topics, so feel free to reach out to me.
Single guys, listen to me. You need my course. Go to thatotherlifestyle.com for more information.
My personal disclaimer, I am not a medical professional nor a trained and certified
educator of any kind in any way.
I am a guy with a microphone sharing my personal experiences with you.
(30:23):
This podcast is for entertainment purposes is only. Please join us for the next episode.
Whatever you may do today, I hope you have a fantastic time doing it.
Know that you are appreciated and loved. Have a great day.
Music.
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