Preview: 1412 Wrestling – Episode 51
“The Boil Simmered Over”
President Danny Tanner somehow managed to book the most baffling, overcrowded, and emotionally unstable episode of 1412 Wrestling to date. Tensions are high, factions are colliding, and ancient forces may or may not be at play as this unpredictable rollercoaster unfolds across dozens of segments. Here's a look at the matches announced for the night—with no spoilers:
Opening Chaos – Tag Team #1 Contenders Gauntlet Match
The night begins with an absolutely massive multi-team gauntlet featuring over 40 of the most bizarre and legendary pairings in 1412 history. From sitcom duos to cosmic warriors, from cereal mascots to time travelers, everyone’s got the same goal: earn a future shot at the Tag Team Titles. Surprises, brawls, and unlikely alliances are guaranteed.
Title Unification Match – Yokozuna vs Electabuzz
The Competitive Eating Champion squares off with the Laser Gun Surfing Battle Champion in a high-stakes unification bout. Only one will leave with both titles, and the other might not leave at all.
Trios Grudge Match – Tia & Tamara and Ross Geller vs Aly & AJ and Doug Wilson
What began as reality TV beef has mutated into full-scale psychological warfare. Ross Geller continues his descent into villainy, while Aly & AJ fight to keep it together alongside a gardening wildcard.
Ancient Relic Match – Alf (c) vs Ariana Grande
Alf puts the power of the ancient relic on the line against Ariana Grande in a match that could shake the very metaphysical foundations of 1412 Wrestling. No magic allowed—but that’s never stopped anyone before.
Grudge Match – New Jack vs Akeem the African Dream
Fueled by rage, betrayal, and deeply personal food-based insults, these two powerhouses collide in a brawl that’s anything but scientific.
Triple Threat Mayhem – Goldar vs 50 Cent vs Bill Nye
An unexplained match between a galactic warlord, a rap mogul, and a science educator. Nobody knows why this was booked, but it promises to be weird.
Sword Fighting Championship – Katy Perry (c) vs Terry Funk vs Skeeter Valentine vs Gary Busey
Four competitors. One glowing sword. Backed by the unhinged presence of the Golf Cart stable, this elimination match might be the most dangerous sword fight yet. Expect blood, ballads, and possibly Biffle.
Wildcard Singles Match – Cookie Monster vs Bobby Heenan’s New Surprise Client
The Monster craves cookies. But who’s the new client Heenan’s bringing to the ring? Rumors range from a retired legend to a literal garden gnome. You’ll have to tune in to find out.
Six-Way Elimination Match – Felix the Cat vs Cuts Man vs Matt Cardona vs Elvis Presley vs The Moose vs The Scalding Hot Cup of Coffee
A returning mix of forgotten faces, angry fauna, caffeinated horror, and Elvis himself. The only certainty: eliminations will be earned the hard way.
Tag Team Championships – The Wet Bandits (c) vs Scott Hall & Kevin Nash
The newly crowned tag champs put the belts on the line against a returning Outsiders duo, but their attention may still be fixated on their missing mystical couch. Could the relic be involved?
Spinach Artichoke Dip on a Pole Match – Bars (c) vs Daffy Duck
The Ambush Title Shot Contract is up for grabs—whoever eats the entire bowl of spinach artichoke dip wins. Yes, really. Expect green-fueled carnage, philosophical rants, and personal vendettas.
Main Event – 1412 Championship Triple Threat
Stone Cold Steve Austin (c) vs Angry Video Game Nerd vs Pepsi Man
Three icons. One title. A silent soda machine. A profane gamer. And the Rattlesnake. History will be made—if reality doesn’t fracture first.
—
Catch all the madness in Episode 51—where friendships die, the ring becomes a culinary battlefield, and one champion may not survive the fallout.
Tag Teams in the Gauntlet:
Jay & Silent Bob
Bill & Ted
Pete & Pete
Jackie Chan & Spopovich (of the Anti-Boiled Egg Brigade, accompanied by Cliff O’Malley)
Michaelangelo & Raphael
Vince Russo & Rihanna
Mulder & Scully
Black Ranger & Blue Ranger
Cory Matthews & Shawn Hunter
The Headbangers
King Hippo & Soda Popinski
Hitmonchan & Hitmonlee
Scott Steiner's Rabid Tigers (accompanied by Scott Steiner)
Michael Jordan & Scottie Pippen
Disco Inferno & Alex Wright
Jesse Katsopolis & Joey Gladstone
DJ Tanner & Stephanie Tanner
Cow & Chicken
Ren & Stimpy
Kevin McAllister & Dick Tracy
Billy Gunn & Nikki Bella
Itch
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