October 30, 2023 • 14 mins
On the surface, an honest person is someone who tells the truth. Is there more to it?
Jack and Stacy are too very different people, but are they both honest? Follow their storyline as we discover the depths of what it means to be an honest person.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
The advocate for success, season one, episode 1. What it means to be an honest person.
(00:07):
Produced by, Elton Thomas
Mission Advocate is a store on Etsy where you can buy apparel to express your advocacy.Shirts are designed by the producer of the Advocate for Success Podcast, Elton Thomas. Empowerment can be expressed through your apparel. Visit www.etsy.com/shop/missionadvocate
(00:37):
On the surface, an honest person can be described as someone who tells the truth.
Who does not try to deceive others.
And, who is law abiding.
If we dig beneath the surface, of the observational behavior, we may just find a
profound insight, into what it truly means, to be an honest person. [pause x-strong]
(00:57):
We all have a different perception, of the world around us.
Honest people, have the ability to filter truth, from the world around them.
Our perceptions then, are guided by how much of the information we take in, is honest. [pause x-strong]
Stacy, is often described, as an honest person.
She cares about the feelings and opinions of others.
(01:20):
And she is often the person, her friends, and colleagues turn to, for advice.
Jack, is also described as an honest person.
He tells people, that he could care less about their feelings and opinions.
He ridicules others, and when asked why he is so mean
he will reply, hey, I'm just being honest. [pause weak]
(01:41):
So then, the question is, are both Stacy and Jack, honest people?
Stacy cares about the feelings and opinions of others.
This empowers her, to see their real feelings and opinions.
Which means, Stacy is forming honest perceptions of the people around her.
Jack on the other hand, does not care about the feelings and opinions of others.
(02:05):
This inhibits him, from seeing their real feelings and opinions.
Which means, Jack does not have an honest perception of the people around him.
And while it may be true that Jack is being honest about his negative perceptions.
His negative perceptions, are based off of perceptions, that are not honest.
(02:25):
Therefore, Jack's perceptions of other people, simply, are not honest. [pause x-strong]
We all live in the same world, however, our experiences are different, and guided by how honest, our perceptions are.
And when our perceptions reach a high level of honesty, our experiences, can become very profound.
(02:46):
Prophecy, or the ability to predict the future. Is this fact or fiction?
There are many things of this world we can predict when
our perceptions are honest, From human behavior to natural events.
When our honest perceptions are able to find patterns in behavior and nature, it can become relatively easy to prophesy.
(03:06):
In July 2021, I was a government services analyst, for the City of Saint Louis, Missouri.
My job, was to oversee projects of the American Rescue Plan Act funds, and conduct analysis of COVID19.
From July 14th to July 26th, the number of breakthrough cases with the variant, omicron, were over 5,000 cases.
(03:30):
There was debate, of whether or not this was a concern.
Some officials argued that 5,000 cases is a tiny number, nothing to be concerned with.
While other officials were concerned, that this could be the end of life, as we know it.
The data showed that from March 2020 to July 2021, there had been less than 5,000 breakthrough cases reported.
(03:54):
Thus, the number of breakthrough cases reported in that two weeks of July
2021, was greater than all the cases reported up to that point.
My analogy was simple, if a baseball is traveling at 2 miles per hour for
quite some distance, Representing the, slow-pattern of breakthrough cases from, March 2020 to July 2021.
(04:16):
Then lets say, the baseball jumps up to a speed of 100 miles per-hour, in a short
distance of five-feet, representing the spike in cases, in the two week period of July 2021.
It then can be concluded that, the fast moving baseball, is not likely to lose momentum any time soon.
Thus, the outbreak cases are not likely to end, and as we know, it did not end.
(04:42):
Now this prediction that came from analysis, is not the spectacular prophecy from vivid premonitions, like
you see in the movies, however, it still can be profound in it's own way.
During the pandemic, there were many different perspectives about the COVID19 situation.
Conspiracy theorists believed, that the pharmaceutical industry, made up covid19, to get rich from making vaccines.
(05:08):
There was also a lot of speculation, that COVID19 was created
in a government lab, and was accidentally released to the public.
In my own research, I found peer reviewed articles about the covid virus, dating back to 2012.
The articles also showed pictures of covid, using and electron microscope that clearly shows the size and shape, of covid.
(05:33):
And this is how we knew to use the N95 masks to prevent spreading. [pause x-strong]
We all have something called a, truth tolerance. That is, the amount of honesty we are willing to accept from
the world. In other words, there are just some things that some people do not wish to know, or acknowledge.
Stacy and jack have been in a relationship for three years, and they practically live together. We
(05:58):
established that Stacy has the ability to have honest perceptions of other people, however, she does have
one weakness, and that is, Jack. We also established that Jack does not have an honest perception
of people in his life, which makes the dynamic of Stacy and Jack's relationship, very interesting.
Stacy was first drawn to jack because of his charisma, and his ability to use
(06:23):
sarcasm and teasing, to make others laugh. At some point in the relationship, once jack
was confident she was committed to him, the sarcasm and teasing were directed towards her.
Then after about a year and a half, Jack started criticizing Stacy for not giving him enough
attention. He would point out to her that if she was serious about the relationship, that she
(06:44):
would need to spend less time with her family and friends, and more time with him. Jack
would make Stacy feel guilty for not giving him the attention, that he thought he deserved.
Now, after three years, Stacy has realized that she barely sees her family any more, and has no
idea, what's going on with her friends. Stacy, is still holding on to that charismatic, witty guy, that
(07:09):
she fell in love with. And does not want to accept the reality, that Jack, is controlling her.
Stacy, has somehow formed a perception of herself, that she's lucky to have Jack, and that she is not good
enough for him. She has come to this perception because of Jack telling her these things, over and over again.
(07:29):
One day, after a long day at the office, jack texted Stacy to pick up dinner on
the way home. She stopped by a drive thru, and went straight home. Exhausted from a long
day, she brings the food in and sets it down on the table. Jack picks up his
sandwich, and then slams it on the table, Stacy jumps. "Why is my burger cold?", jack asks.
(07:53):
Stacy replies, "It just cooled a bit, from traveling from the restaurant home". Jack then proceeds
to question her of where she had been all day, and accuses her of seeing other
men. Stacy knew exactly what to do, she marches in the bed room, and pulls out
a pair of women's underwear from the dresser drawer, that did not belong to her.
(08:14):
Stacy knew jack had been cheating for some time, however, she always seemed to make up stories to
convince herself that he would never do that to her, that there had to be another explanation.
As Stacy held up the underwear to Jack, he smiles saying, "Darling, I got those for you as a
gift because of how much I love you, and for the hard work you do.". Stacy then, imagines herself
(08:36):
putting the underwear in her drawer, and giving jack a kiss and a hug to say thank you.
Instead, Stacy throws the pair of underwear at jack, and in words we can not
repeat in this podcast, she tells Jack that he is a cheat and a liar.
Stacy, has finally formed an honest perception of her relationship, with Jack. [pause x-strong]
(08:57):
Stacy struggled in her relationship with Jack, with fear of the honest perception, or also known
as fear of the truth. She did not want to accept, that her situation was real,
so instead, she created a false perception of her situation to cope with the hardship.
Once Stacy realized that her false perceptions were harming her, she quickly accepted the honest perception of her situation.
(09:23):
Stacy then, became an honest person, to herself. It's so important, that we stay true and honest, with ourselves.
But how often, do we prefer to hear the good news, over the bad? When given a choice,
most of us will likely want to hear the good news, and possibly will not want to even
hear the bad news. A person that had an experience similar to Stacy, may want to hear the
(09:48):
bad news first, because they do not want to live in a false reality. [pause x-strong]
After many angry texts, and stern phone calls from Stacy, Jack eventually gathered all his things from her house. For
a time, he was sure that Stacy would take him back. That she would understand that a guy has certain
needs, that she would admit to over reacting. But Stacy did not do these things, she was a person unrecognizable
(10:15):
to him, who was happy, and smiling all the time, like she had a profound life experience.
Jack took the breakup with Stacy hard. He finds himself blaming her for his
misery, and unhappiness. Jack tells himself that Stacy wasted three years, of his life.
(10:35):
After a few months passed, Jack's phone rings, and he is surprised to see it's from Stacy. He
quickly answers. I heard you're not doing so well, says Stacy. Jack pretends to not know what she
is talking about, then Stacy says, I have two things to tell you. First, we will never get
(10:57):
back together. Second, for whatever reason, I still care about you. She continues, after our breakup, I tried
this therapist, and he's really good, and I think you should try him out. Jack replies, you are
seeing him? Stacy sighs, and says, get some help-Jack. Then she ends the call.
(11:19):
Stacy has discovered that she not only had a false perception of her relationship
with Jack, but also had a false perception of herself, and therapy helped her
with fixing that false perception of herself, that she is nobody without Jack.
Stacy helped Jack gain an honest perception of her, however, Jack still has a
false perception of himself. That he is more important that others in his life.
(11:44):
Jack calls the therapist, and the therapist answers the phone. Are you the one my ex-girlfriend left
me for? The therapist replies, ah. you must be Jack. The therapist explains that he is happily
married with two beautiful children. And after the misunderstanding is cleared, Jack makes an appointment.
(12:06):
A few months go by, and Stacy's phone rings, she is reluctant to answer, because the call
is from Jack. She answers the phone, hi Jack, jack then quickly responds, do not say that
on a plane. Stacy starts to giggle and stops herself. How can I help you Jack.
Jack then says he has two things to share, first, that he understands and accepts, that they
(12:31):
will never get back together. And second, that he's terribly sorry about the way he treated her.
To Stacy, this was unexpected, and she stays silent on the phone waiting for the catch, but
no catch came. Stacy accepts jack's apology, and they both get off the phone.
Therapy helped Jack discover that his false perception of himself as a good guy, just was not honest.
(12:55):
But Jack wanted to be a good guy and viewed as a good guy from others, thus, Jack
started acting as a good guy, and after months of practice, it seems he had been successful.
Jack even wrote a list of things to try to pass on to others in
communication. Like, expressing happiness in the success of others, looking for and pointing out good
(13:16):
qualities in others, and using the word, we, instead of, me. [pause x-strong]
To be an honest person is quite a bit more than just telling the truth. It's about developing
honest perceptions about our world, based on meaningful data. It's about developing honest perceptions about the people in
our lives, that can lead to better understandings and resolutions in our relationships. It's about overcoming the fear
(13:42):
of honest perceptions, and the truth so that, we can best understand the entirety, of our reality.
And it's about having honest perceptions about ourselves, things we like, and things we would like to change. While
there is such thing as, honest bad news, there should be no such thing as, honest mean statements.
(14:02):
We live in a world where there are endless opportunities for perceptions, from the smallest virus, to galactic masses,
and they are all connected in one way or another, to what it means, to be an honest person.
The advocate for success, season one, episode 1. What it means to be an honest person.
(00:07):
Produced by, Elton Thomas
Mission Advocate is a store on Etsy where you can buy apparel to express your advocacy.Shirts are designed by the producer of the Advocate for Success Podcast, Elton Thomas. Empowerment can be expressed through your apparel. Visit www.etsy.com/shop/missionadvocate
(00:37):
On the surface, an honest person can be described as someone who tells the truth.
Who does not try to deceive others.
And, who is law abiding.
If we dig beneath the surface, of the observational behavior, we may just find a
profound insight, into what it truly means, to be an honest person. [pause x-strong]
(00:57):
We all have a different perception, of the world around us.
Honest people, have the ability to filter truth, from the world around them.
Our perceptions then, are guided by how much of the information we take in, is honest. [pause x-strong]
Stacy, is often described, as an honest person.
She cares about the feelings and opinions of others.
(01:20):
And she is often the person, her friends, and colleagues turn to, for advice.
Jack, is also described as an honest person.
He tells people, that he could care less about their feelings and opinions.
He ridicules others, and when asked why he is so mean
he will reply, hey, I'm just being honest. [pause weak]
(01:41):
So then, the question is, are both Stacy and Jack, honest people?
Stacy cares about the feelings and opinions of others.
This empowers her, to see their real feelings and opinions.
Which means, Stacy is forming honest perceptions of the people around her.
Jack on the other hand, does not care about the feelings and opinions of others.
(02:05):
This inhibits him, from seeing their real feelings and opinions.
Which means, Jack does not have an honest perception of the people around him.
And while it may be true that Jack is being honest about his negative perceptions.
His negative perceptions, are based off of perceptions, that are not honest.
(02:25):
Therefore, Jack's perceptions of other people, simply, are not honest. [pause x-strong]
We all live in the same world, however, our experiences are different, and guided by how honest, our perceptions are.
And when our perceptions reach a high level of honesty, our experiences, can become very profound.
(02:46):
Prophecy, or the ability to predict the future. Is this fact or fiction?
There are many things of this world we can predict when
our perceptions are honest, From human behavior to natural events.
When our honest perceptions are able to find patterns in behavior and nature, it can become relatively easy to prophesy.
(03:06):
In July 2021, I was a government services analyst, for the City of Saint Louis, Missouri.
My job, was to oversee projects of the American Rescue Plan Act funds, and conduct analysis of COVID19.
From July 14th to July 26th, the number of breakthrough cases with the variant, omicron, were over 5,000 cases.
(03:30):
There was debate, of whether or not this was a concern.
Some officials argued that 5,000 cases is a tiny number, nothing to be concerned with.
While other officials were concerned, that this could be the end of life, as we know it.
The data showed that from March 2020 to July 2021, there had been less than 5,000 breakthrough cases reported.
(03:54):
Thus, the number of breakthrough cases reported in that two weeks of July
2021, was greater than all the cases reported up to that point.
My analogy was simple, if a baseball is traveling at 2 miles per hour for
quite some distance, Representing the, slow-pattern of breakthrough cases from, March 2020 to July 2021.
(04:16):
Then lets say, the baseball jumps up to a speed of 100 miles per-hour, in a short
distance of five-feet, representing the spike in cases, in the two week period of July 2021.
It then can be concluded that, the fast moving baseball, is not likely to lose momentum any time soon.
Thus, the outbreak cases are not likely to end, and as we know, it did not end.
(04:42):
Now this prediction that came from analysis, is not the spectacular prophecy from vivid premonitions, like
you see in the movies, however, it still can be profound in it's own way.
During the pandemic, there were many different perspectives about the COVID19 situation.
Conspiracy theorists believed, that the pharmaceutical industry, made up covid19, to get rich from making vaccines.
(05:08):
There was also a lot of speculation, that COVID19 was created
in a government lab, and was accidentally released to the public.
In my own research, I found peer reviewed articles about the covid virus, dating back to 2012.
The articles also showed pictures of covid, using and electron microscope that clearly shows the size and shape, of covid.
(05:33):
And this is how we knew to use the N95 masks to prevent spreading. [pause x-strong]
We all have something called a, truth tolerance. That is, the amount of honesty we are willing to accept from
the world. In other words, there are just some things that some people do not wish to know, or acknowledge.
Stacy and jack have been in a relationship for three years, and they practically live together. We
(05:58):
established that Stacy has the ability to have honest perceptions of other people, however, she does have
one weakness, and that is, Jack. We also established that Jack does not have an honest perception
of people in his life, which makes the dynamic of Stacy and Jack's relationship, very interesting.
Stacy was first drawn to jack because of his charisma, and his ability to use
(06:23):
sarcasm and teasing, to make others laugh. At some point in the relationship, once jack
was confident she was committed to him, the sarcasm and teasing were directed towards her.
Then after about a year and a half, Jack started criticizing Stacy for not giving him enough
attention. He would point out to her that if she was serious about the relationship, that she
(06:44):
would need to spend less time with her family and friends, and more time with him. Jack
would make Stacy feel guilty for not giving him the attention, that he thought he deserved.
Now, after three years, Stacy has realized that she barely sees her family any more, and has no
idea, what's going on with her friends. Stacy, is still holding on to that charismatic, witty guy, that
(07:09):
she fell in love with. And does not want to accept the reality, that Jack, is controlling her.
Stacy, has somehow formed a perception of herself, that she's lucky to have Jack, and that she is not good
enough for him. She has come to this perception because of Jack telling her these things, over and over again.
(07:29):
One day, after a long day at the office, jack texted Stacy to pick up dinner on
the way home. She stopped by a drive thru, and went straight home. Exhausted from a long
day, she brings the food in and sets it down on the table. Jack picks up his
sandwich, and then slams it on the table, Stacy jumps. "Why is my burger cold?", jack asks.
(07:53):
Stacy replies, "It just cooled a bit, from traveling from the restaurant home". Jack then proceeds
to question her of where she had been all day, and accuses her of seeing other
men. Stacy knew exactly what to do, she marches in the bed room, and pulls out
a pair of women's underwear from the dresser drawer, that did not belong to her.
(08:14):
Stacy knew jack had been cheating for some time, however, she always seemed to make up stories to
convince herself that he would never do that to her, that there had to be another explanation.
As Stacy held up the underwear to Jack, he smiles saying, "Darling, I got those for you as a
gift because of how much I love you, and for the hard work you do.". Stacy then, imagines herself
(08:36):
putting the underwear in her drawer, and giving jack a kiss and a hug to say thank you.
Instead, Stacy throws the pair of underwear at jack, and in words we can not
repeat in this podcast, she tells Jack that he is a cheat and a liar.
Stacy, has finally formed an honest perception of her relationship, with Jack. [pause x-strong]
(08:57):
Stacy struggled in her relationship with Jack, with fear of the honest perception, or also known
as fear of the truth. She did not want to accept, that her situation was real,
so instead, she created a false perception of her situation to cope with the hardship.
Once Stacy realized that her false perceptions were harming her, she quickly accepted the honest perception of her situation.
(09:23):
Stacy then, became an honest person, to herself. It's so important, that we stay true and honest, with ourselves.
But how often, do we prefer to hear the good news, over the bad? When given a choice,
most of us will likely want to hear the good news, and possibly will not want to even
hear the bad news. A person that had an experience similar to Stacy, may want to hear the
(09:48):
bad news first, because they do not want to live in a false reality. [pause x-strong]
After many angry texts, and stern phone calls from Stacy, Jack eventually gathered all his things from her house. For
a time, he was sure that Stacy would take him back. That she would understand that a guy has certain
needs, that she would admit to over reacting. But Stacy did not do these things, she was a person unrecognizable
(10:15):
to him, who was happy, and smiling all the time, like she had a profound life experience.
Jack took the breakup with Stacy hard. He finds himself blaming her for his
misery, and unhappiness. Jack tells himself that Stacy wasted three years, of his life.
(10:35):
After a few months passed, Jack's phone rings, and he is surprised to see it's from Stacy. He
quickly answers. I heard you're not doing so well, says Stacy. Jack pretends to not know what she
is talking about, then Stacy says, I have two things to tell you. First, we will never get
(10:57):
back together. Second, for whatever reason, I still care about you. She continues, after our breakup, I tried
this therapist, and he's really good, and I think you should try him out. Jack replies, you are
seeing him? Stacy sighs, and says, get some help-Jack. Then she ends the call.
(11:19):
Stacy has discovered that she not only had a false perception of her relationship
with Jack, but also had a false perception of herself, and therapy helped her
with fixing that false perception of herself, that she is nobody without Jack.
Stacy helped Jack gain an honest perception of her, however, Jack still has a
false perception of himself. That he is more important that others in his life.
(11:44):
Jack calls the therapist, and the therapist answers the phone. Are you the one my ex-girlfriend left
me for? The therapist replies, ah. you must be Jack. The therapist explains that he is happily
married with two beautiful children. And after the misunderstanding is cleared, Jack makes an appointment.
(12:06):
A few months go by, and Stacy's phone rings, she is reluctant to answer, because the call
is from Jack. She answers the phone, hi Jack, jack then quickly responds, do not say that
on a plane. Stacy starts to giggle and stops herself. How can I help you Jack.
Jack then says he has two things to share, first, that he understands and accepts, that they
(12:31):
will never get back together. And second, that he's terribly sorry about the way he treated her.
To Stacy, this was unexpected, and she stays silent on the phone waiting for the catch, but
no catch came. Stacy accepts jack's apology, and they both get off the phone.
Therapy helped Jack discover that his false perception of himself as a good guy, just was not honest.
(12:55):
But Jack wanted to be a good guy and viewed as a good guy from others, thus, Jack
started acting as a good guy, and after months of practice, it seems he had been successful.
Jack even wrote a list of things to try to pass on to others in
communication. Like, expressing happiness in the success of others, looking for and pointing out good
(13:16):
qualities in others, and using the word, we, instead of, me. [pause x-strong]
To be an honest person is quite a bit more than just telling the truth. It's about developing
honest perceptions about our world, based on meaningful data. It's about developing honest perceptions about the people in
our lives, that can lead to better understandings and resolutions in our relationships. It's about overcoming the fear
(13:42):
of honest perceptions, and the truth so that, we can best understand the entirety, of our reality.
And it's about having honest perceptions about ourselves, things we like, and things we would like to change. While
there is such thing as, honest bad news, there should be no such thing as, honest mean statements.
(14:02):
We live in a world where there are endless opportunities for perceptions, from the smallest virus, to galactic masses,
and they are all connected in one way or another, to what it means, to be an honest person.
Popular Podcasts
Are You A Charlotte?
In 1997, actress Kristin Davis’ life was forever changed when she took on the role of Charlotte York in Sex and the City. As we watched Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte navigate relationships in NYC, the show helped push once unacceptable conversation topics out of the shadows and altered the narrative around women and sex. We all saw ourselves in them as they searched for fulfillment in life, sex and friendships. Now, Kristin Davis wants to connect with you, the fans, and share untold stories and all the behind the scenes. Together, with Kristin and special guests, what will begin with Sex and the City will evolve into talks about themes that are still so relevant today. "Are you a Charlotte?" is much more than just rewatching this beloved show, it brings the past and the present together as we talk with heart, humor and of course some optimism.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com