January 15, 2025 • 47 mins
In this inspiring episode of The Bold Blueprint, host Claire Bartlett sits down with the dynamic Dani Wallace - international speaker coach, powerhouse entrepreneur, and producer of The Big Festoon. Known as the Queen Bee, Dani takes us on her incredible journey from performer to public speaking coach, sharing how she overcame homelessness and fear to build a thriving career empowering others to use their voices confidently.
This episode is packed with transformative insights for anyone looking to build confidence in communication, whether you’re speaking on a stage, in a meeting, or even in everyday conversations. Dani breaks down the nuances of public speaking, including:
- The importance of confidence and deep self-knowledge
- How understanding introversion and extroversion can transform your communication style
- The role of preparation and practice in becoming a great speaker
- Why a powerful introduction - or vocal business card - can set you apart
- How finding joy in the speaking process can redefine your approach
Dani also dives into the importance of community, collaboration, and pushing beyond comfort zones to embrace growth. Using the inspiring metaphor of bees, she reminds us that with determination, resilience, and support, we can all defy expectations and take flight, no matter the odds.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:🔹 How Dani Wallace transitioned from performer to international speaker coach 🔹 The key to building confidence in public speaking 🔹 Why preparation and muscle memory are game-changers for delivery 🔹 How to craft an impactful introduction that leaves a lasting impression 🔹 Why public speaking is about more than just the stage — it’s about communication in all areas of life 🔹 The role of community, curiosity, and collaboration in personal growth 🔹 How fear and self-sabotage can be transformed into tools for success
Takeaways to Apply Today:💡 Confidence starts with understanding yourself and your triggers. 💡 Break out of your comfort zone by practicing in safe, supportive environments. 💡 A great introduction - your “vocal business card” - sets the tone for effective communication. 💡 Embrace the discomfort of growth and let curiosity guide you through challenges. 💡 Community and collaboration are essential for personal and professional success.
Upcoming in Season 3:Get ready for more powerful conversations with incredible guests like:
- Holly Matthews - Ex-Hollyoaks star and founder of The Happy Me Project
- Matthew Hughes - The YouTube King on building your personal brand through video
- And many more thought leaders, entrepreneurs, and visionaries ready to inspire your next move.
- Website: iamthequeenbee.co.uk
- Instagram: @thequeenbeedani
If you loved this episode, let’s amplify its impact: ✨ Follow, rate, and review The Bold Blueprint on your favorite podcast platform. ✨ Share this episode with a friend or colleague who needs a confidence boost. ✨ Tag us on Instagram @cs_bartlett to share your favorite takeaways — we’d love to hear what resonated with you!
Your support means the world and helps this podcast reach even more incredible listeners like you.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Hello and welcome to this week's episode of The Bold Blueprint with Claire Bartlett,myself.
And today I am super excited to invite the queen bee herself, Dani Wallace, to join us.
She's an international speaker coach and the producer of The Big Festoon.
Dani, I'm so glad to have you here with us this week.
Thank you so much for giving us your time.
(00:22):
I'm thrilled, Claire, to be coming to have this conversation with you.
We've been like crossing paths for ages, so to finally pin each other down and sit to havea chat, I'm thrilled.
So thank you for having me.
No, you're welcome.
I can't wait to share your journey with our listeners.
do you want to start by, now I know where you started videos in the car, but can you sharea little bit about where you were at that point and then how that's led to you to where
(00:47):
you are today?
Yeah, absolutely.
I originally started off as a performer.
So I've been a performer for more than 25 years professionally, both as a singer and as apresenter and host.
And I did that professionally for a while, but it was never kind of considered a properjob, so to speak.
(01:07):
So I kind of came, I did this all over the world.
I came back to the UK and got a proper job working in corporate and essentially swapped astage for a stage.
So I started to work.
in corporate within like learning development facilities within HR.
So I got to work some brilliant, brilliant brands, Jaguar Land Rover, Coffin Warehouse,when Coffin Warehouse was on the open up Best Buy.
(01:31):
And even though they were considered sort of successful jobs, I found it really difficultbeing employed for a number of reasons.
One is as I've later found out that I'm neurodivergent, but also,
I'd experienced quite a lot trauma in my growing up years.
So like clocking in and clocking out and having to report into somebody all the timereally felt quite like for want of a better phrase, felt quite triggering.
(02:00):
And so I wanted to work for myself.
So I started to work for myself, but underneath all of this, my personal life wasn't inthe best of places and I'd experienced domestic abuse and homelessness.
And I decided if ever I was gonna survive that situation, I'd spend the rest of my life inservice.
So I came out of corporate, started working for myself, started to work full-timeperforming again, and started to get ready on camera.
(02:29):
Like with my makeup, people watch, people put makeup on, you know, on live streaming.
And I kind of saw that was happening and started to do it and started to sort of sharewith people what I was getting up to.
So that sort of mixture of stage performance,
working experience and corporate working experience and then the tenacity and resiliencethat I'd had to sort of garner in my personal life kind of created this perfect storm
(02:54):
eventually.
Yeah, but I don't think we can class you as the perfect storm.
Perfect, definitely.
very, you know, I just love the energy that you bring every time I see you just light upthe room, which I think is amazing.
But you have a certain level of confidence and ease on stage, don't you?
And I think that's why you just have a way to support other people.
(03:18):
Because public speaking, and I love that you have a saying that you say so much that, youknow,
the words that we use and our voice needs to be heard and it's our best sort of marketingtool.
how do you support people with the confidence?
Because it is the biggest fear, isn't it, for anybody is public speaking.
(03:39):
So how do you work with people to build that?
does it come?
Did it always just come naturally to you?
Not particularly.
What we need to understand, so glossophobia, the fear of public speaking is the number onefear in the Western world.
And I find that wild.
So my ability to perform stemmed from the experiences I had when I was growing up.
(04:01):
If I was singing or if I was being funny, nobody was fighting.
So if I could divert attention onto me, then yes, I was getting my needs of recognitionand significance being met, but also,
I knew that if people were following what I was doing and I was a center of attention,they weren't fighting each other.
People were in less danger when I was performing.
(04:25):
And I didn't realize that was something I did until much, much later on.
I started to a student of speaking and a real student of confidence.
And that's the real thing.
And people often mistake confidence for introversion or extroversion.
They'll look at me and they will assume.
that I'm an extrovert.
And actually that's not the case at all.
(04:46):
I'm a huge introvert.
And what we misunderstand about this is that introversion and extroversion, or if you'reon the sliding scale, ambiversion, is just where you get your energy from.
So people who are extroverts get their energy from being around people.
They charge their battery up socially.
People who are introverts charge their battery up or their social battery or their sort ofenergetic battery.
(05:11):
in solitude or in very, very small groups of people.
And ambiverts kind of move between the two.
Just because somebody's an extrovert does not necessarily mean they're a show pony.
And just because somebody's an introvert doesn't necessarily mean they're sort ofoutwardly shy and retiring.
It really, when we start to understand a couple of things, what confidence actually is andthen what it isn't and what our assumptions are about it, we can start to then build our
(05:37):
muscles around our own confidence.
So for me, understanding and accepting that I wasn't actually the extrovert that everybodywas telling me that I was, allowed me to start to own my process around performing.
So I save my energy up prior to speaking or prior to training or prior to podcasts likethis, which is much more intimate and actually more my thing.
(06:00):
And then I'll get on stage and hadouken people.
Hahaha
with the energy that I have, but with that hadouken, often leaves a depletion in energywhere then I have to go and regroup and rest and not talk to anyone for a couple of days
after a big event.
And conversely, if I look at my COO who's incredible, Danielle, you would have her pinnedas an introvert, you would have her pinned as someone relatively shy, and actually she's
(06:27):
not.
She gets her energy from being around people and absorbing it.
She's not necessarily loud with it, allowed in that space, but she thrives more when she'saround people.
So I think understanding that was the first thing.
And then the second thing is really getting to grips with the fact that confidence,however convoluted we look at it, is knowing.
(06:48):
And it's real deep seated knowing.
So for example, Tanya Jules.
So when I was nine years old, I didn't know how to tie my shoelace and I used to getreally flustered, especially when I had to tie my bow on me, summer dress.
I'd run them gingham summer dresses, Claire.
I don't know if you did, but yeah, same, same.
We had pink and then they changed to light blue and it was like, it messed everyone'smojo.
(07:12):
But they had these little bows that you had to tie at the front.
And I used to get really flustered because getting dressed after PE was, it became, I gotreally nervous about it.
I just didn't, I just, I wasn't very coordinated.
Anyway, my grandma taught me how to tie a bow.
And the first time I did it, I thought it was a fluke.
Second time I did it, I thought it was a fluke.
(07:34):
And now obviously, sort of 30 years later, if someone said to me, tie a bow in front ofeverybody, Danny, I'd find that very easy.
I'd be confident doing it.
And I think what people do is when it comes to speaking specifically, Claire, is that theydon't put the work in prior to doing the thing.
And so they're feeling
(07:54):
not confident about lots of aspects of their delivery.
So, you know, I've come across a lot of people who can just get up stage, on stage andwing it, or they'll go into situations and wing it and not have done the preparation so
that they just know in their guts, I know exactly what I'm gonna say.
It doesn't phase me, but that comes through repetition.
So people who do something for the first time, just like I tied my bow for the first time,I think, it was a fluke and I was scared when I did it and I was still flustered and it
(08:20):
took me for ages.
But doing it.
a million times later, I could do it really quickly and don't think about it.
So that is the thing that I teach, is the recognition that we need to understand ourselvesin order to become confident.
Some people are like, you should love yourself and all of this sort of stuff.
(08:41):
And sometimes there are days where you don't particularly, you can still be confident, goout and confidently deliver on stage, but you need to know what you're saying and why
you're saying it and what's the message you're landing and.
Trust your abilities and you can only do that through repetition.
That was a really long answer, I'm really sorry.
but I resonate with all of it.
And especially I love the fact that you said, you know, about the introverts andextroverts, because I get this all of the time.
(09:04):
So because I am, you know, super confident now, speak on stage, I'm hosting this podcast,you know, I can network a room like no one's business.
But actually, I'm completely the same as you.
Like I need to hibernate after especially big events.
And I feel really drained after them.
trying but trying to explain that to people like
(09:24):
you know, I actually don't get energized by these big spaces.
They drain me personally, to the point where some events I've been to, I've actually hadto like just disappear for a couple of hours.
been like a car is too overwhelming for me.
And actually, I'm just starting to feel a bit panicky.
So I need to just go and step away for a bit.
But that, yeah, it is.
(09:47):
Like we have to provide on purpose, because sensory overload is an absolute thing.
you're taking in sights, sounds, smells, lots of new people, your brain's working at amillion miles and now you're trying to learn what's going on on stage.
At our events, we've actually created breakout spaces for people to even go and snooze, togo and take that time out.
Yeah.
yeah, it's a massive thing.
(10:08):
you know, and I sometimes don't think people understand that need.
But also then with the public speaking, so I'm a little bit, I do prepare for speeches,but I don't practice them until I know them, you know, perfect, I don't read a script.
Because actually, when I've tried to do that in the past, that gives me more anxiety.
(10:31):
pressure.
than not.
So I will practice it, I'll write, you know, sort of cards.
And for the first few times I went on stage, I had to have cue cards with me and that gaveme the confidence.
You know, I wouldn't miss anything that was, you any of the topics.
But God, I remember that very first time.
It was like a physical reaction.
(10:51):
I felt that fear in every pore of my body.
And it wasn't that big a speaking gig, but it was at an event with Sarah Davies and otherlike massive names.
So it just, felt like, you know, and it was the first time I'd ever done anything likethat.
but I did it and it's, this is exactly what I teach the same as what you say, you know,you just have to break it down into small steps.
(11:13):
That small stage, that first one led me to the second stage.
It was slightly bigger, but I had slightly more confidence because I've, I'd, you know,survived that first time.
And it is about just.
gradually working your way through it, isn't it?
But I don't think I could ever just walk on stage and be like, hi, I'm here, let's talk.
Like I'd need to have done that preparation before.
(11:35):
But some people, yeah, you probably could, Yeah.
the fabric of my being or, you know, I know in my, the way that my brain works is in kindof like bite-sized chunks.
So I know the structures from which to deviate, but that's taken, it's taken 20 years ofpractice at that.
And it's interesting that you say about the, put under pressure by writing out a scriptper se, and I'm absolutely with you.
(12:03):
I work towards,
what we call structures from which to deviate.
So, or monkey bars.
So instead of thinking you've got to put one foot directly in front of the other andremember every single word, it's more like recalling what it is that you want to say.
So the first time you ever hear Goldilocks and the Three Bears, for example, you'll hearit word for word because someone will tell you the story or you'll read the story.
(12:26):
But actually you can boil it down to the fact that she walked through the forest one day.
came across a house, sat in the chairs, ate some porridge, led in the beds and the bearscame home and scared her off.
That's what happened.
Now you can then, now we know those monkey bars, wax lyrical at each one of those steps.
And it's knowing for a speaker, knowing what your monkey bars are and then knowing howmuch time you've got to speak.
(12:47):
And that's when the magic can start happening.
That's when you can start releasing some of the pressure from yourself.
Yeah.
And I suppose those cue cards I was holding so tightly in my hands were my monkey bars,basically.
They were keeping me in track.
And then it got to the point where actually the last couple of speak speaking gigs I'ddone, I realized afterwards, hadn't even looked at them once.
(13:09):
And actually, they were just my comfort blanket.
They were just making me feel like I could do it.
So the next time I braved it, I didn't take them on stage.
love that.
did induce a bit of fear in the beginning.
And I was like, but I don't know whether you do this, Danny, or whether you've ever triedit, but I do the power pose.
Love a good power pose.
Yeah.
(13:30):
And always before I go on stage, I'll do it.
so, in the beginning, I was running off to the toilet to do it.
Now I just do it wherever, like, I don't care if people fit.
Yeah.
This is me building up that battery of energy and confidence.
And then I just went on and it was completely and utterly fine.
Mm-hmm.
But I don't think I would have been able to do it without them for that very first speech,you know.
(13:54):
Yeah.
to create that muscle memory.
know, comedians do it.
They'll go and test out material at small, like, working men's clubs and comedy clubs.
The night at the Apollo isn't the first time they've done that.
That's maybe the 50th 60th, 100th time they've done it.
One of my friends got invited to a really small, a member, like, a members-only club to goand watch.
(14:17):
I think it was, like, an audience of maybe 20 people.
And...
She didn't know like who was going to be performing.
It was a little comedy show and it was Jerry Seinfeld.
And Jerry Seinfeld, he was doing joke after joke after joke and he was bombing.
And then he'd go back to the stage and write stuff down.
And then she realized actually what he was doing is testing out his material for the firsttime in this like little creative space in front of people that he trusted.
(14:46):
And that's where he'll go and find where his jokes are landing.
You know, even the best speakers, comedians, performers in the world have that bit at thebeginning where they need to get the muscle memory around it.
And then so, so he probably didn't do half of that set in his eventual set, but he had todo that in order to get the Night at the Apollo style material.
(15:08):
exactly the same thing in above the pub in our little village.
This is I mean, years ago now we went to this, I think it was like a five pounder ticketcharity comedy night.
And Alan Carr was came on.
And he absolutely bombed we were all like this guy is atrocious.
The next year he was on telly and his career just took off.
(15:31):
But yeah, he and none of the content that he tried on us that just completely failed.
know, he's just getting out the weeds basically, they're testing and I think that's whatwe kind of all need to do to an extent, isn't it?
real stones to, mean, especially when you're trying to be funny, like that's another levelof pressure where you've got to land jokes.
It takes a serious amount of stones to be able to go out and try that stuff out and allowyourself to bomb.
(15:58):
But when you do, that's when the magic really happens.
And I think, you know, one of the reasons why I do what I do and support people to speakis that they don't have to put themselves at that kind of risk.
Cause the reason why we get scared is because essentially what we're doing is speaking, iswe're challenging the alpha in the room.
That's what we're doing as animals.
Yeah.
the potential outcomes could be that the pack will turn on you and kill you and not likethe challenge to the alpha.
(16:20):
That's what we feel so visceral about it.
That's why we get thrown into stress response.
And then when we provide safe environments for people to test stuff out like that withoutthose, without the Seinfelds and the Alan Carls and the Jason Manfords having to throw
themselves to the lions for the craft, I think we can get more and more great speakers outinto the world with the safe spaces.
(16:41):
I love that.
But so one of the things that we've spoken a lot now about speaking on stage, but actuallywhat people don't think necessarily realize is that when we talk about public speaking,
it's literally from the ground.
if someone says, hi, networking event, what do you do?
Your response is public speaking.
It's all part of the same package, isn't it?
So although people say I could never do public speaking.
(17:04):
When we use those two words, public speaking, everyone instantly just pictures a big stageand a massive audience staring at them.
But actually there's so many other elements to it.
So do you work throughout that whole process with people?
Yeah.
the bedrock of any kind of speaking is to first know thyself and confidence comes withbeing able to walk into any room and know what you're gonna say before you get into it.
(17:32):
there's, the way that I teach this is I talk about vocal business cards and the analogythat I use is whilst I'm teaching it is, I won't swear, but the Mexican wave of poo,
right?
So.
You go into like one of these networking meetings and you know that you're gonna have tostand up to your elevator pitch.
You've not really spent a huge amount of time on it to be fair.
(17:54):
And by the way, the way that you introduce yourself or your vocal business card issomething that you should be checking in with really regularly to make sure that it still
fits with what it is that you're doing energetically.
So when you go to these events, you'll kind of just be waiting for your turn to talk,stand up, vomit it out of your mouth, sit down.
You're not listening to anyone before or after.
(18:14):
you're not paying actually attention to the room are you?
absolutely pointless exercise.
But when you allow yourself the space and the time to really consider how do I introducemyself?
How do I want this room to see me?
How do I share with the people that I want to help in this room that it's me that's gonnahelp them?
So we split it into four.
I don't know if it's helpful, Claire, but it's really simple.
(18:37):
I am in your name and I, and in as few words as possible, your job role.
So for me, I am...
a public speaking coach and an event producer.
That's, know, in a nutshell, that's what I do.
I could wax lyrical about the fact that I'm a singer, I'm a performer, you know, I'm anauthor, I'm all of these things.
I'm a mom, I'm partner, like I'm all these things.
(18:59):
But the room needs to understand really quickly what I do to help identify themselves.
Then, who you help.
So me, I particularly help people from marginalized genders and backgrounds take up spaceusing their voice.
particularly if they've got like a business message.
And then the so that, and that's to create more impact, influence and income.
And that's the bedrock on which I stand and I can, again, like I say, wax lyrical on allof the things.
(19:22):
But if I don't know that, then it's really hard for me to say to somebody what it is thatI do and then get it and then we can connect from there.
So it's I am and I, I help so that.
Very powerful.
looking for, I don't know if you've ever been to these meets that they've got, I'm lookingfor people who want to, I don't know, change their lives.
(19:45):
We've got to really think like, what are the people that you want to work with or that youwant to help?
What problems are they Googling the solutions for?
And speak to that instead of, know, I'm a manifestation maven and I help people manifesttheir dream life.
That's great.
but nobody's really Googling how do I manifest my dream life.
(20:06):
They're looking for how do I make more money?
They're looking for how do I create more freedom?
look at, know, like get really specific with who you're helping and what the magic ofworking with you is.
And as soon as you've got that nailed, walking into those rooms is so much easier.
And then your messaging will extend from there.
I that.
I I can't miss up this opportunity, Danny, for you to give us the perfect example.
(20:27):
So go on, hit us with your vocal business card.
So my name is Dani Wallace and I am an international celebrity public speaking coach andthe event producer of the fastest growing business and personal development event here in
the UK, the Big Festoon.
I help people, particularly business owners from marginalized genders and backgrounds,take up space with their superpower hidden in plain sight, their voice, so that they can
(20:48):
create more impact, more influence and more income.
Boom, mic drop.
I I can clearly tell this isn't your first rodeo and you've done that a few times now.
But that's the point, isn't it?
Exactly.
That's the point is that you can do that with your eyes closed in any situation and itjust flow naturally because you know what you need to say.
(21:09):
And I suppose when you're talking about what you do and who you help, you can tweak thatto the audience that you're in.
that moment.
So for instance, if you were in a room full of mums in business, for instance, you couldtailor it to specifically target those people and make them really resonate with you.
(21:30):
you need to get a basis, a ground foundation there before and then you can start playingwith it, can't you, and tweaking it.
Yeah, yes, exactly.
you've got that kind of foundation and then you can play, then you can get creative.
I always think about it like a climbing frame in a playground, that you've got theclimbing frame that provides you with the form and the thing that you can hang onto, but
(21:52):
you can choose which way you climb up it, you can climb around it, you can weave in andout of the bars, you can go through the inside and then come back out through the outside,
but you've got, the frame doesn't really change.
and then...
learning a lot about how you were on playgrounds when you were younger.
You didn't just get to the top and back down.
(22:16):
Love that.
I love that analogy.
And the monkey bars as well.
There's a theme here, I think.
It's play, it's joy.
Like one of our core business values is that we find the fun and bring the joy.
That's what we're looking for all the time because we learn best just like children dothrough either abject trauma or abject joy.
(22:36):
And I would prefer to bring the latter.
the joy.
Let's let's focus on the joy for sure.
I love that.
So how do people work with you for the speaking opportunities?
And is it like we've said already, so it's not necessarily people that just want to get upon stage and do that level of speaking.
There's different opportunities, isn't there?
(22:57):
And is there sort of a gradient that they can work through with you on this?
Yeah, absolutely.
say for example, in March 2026, I will be holding the Big Festoon at the AO Arena inManchester.
Huge, huge venue.
We are aiming for between two and a half to 5,000 people at that event.
For somebody who's first starting out, to jump straight in front of a crowd like thatcould be quite daunting.
(23:22):
For somebody who maybe suffers glossophobia, that could be quite daunting.
So that's for more...
Like you're established speakers that want to work on that 1%.
Like really, they wanna go from exceptional to world class.
They're doing that kind of work.
And then we've got our Be Amplified program, which is for people, whether they are, I callthem dragon slayers.
So people who are really facing that fear, but they're ready to grow their businessutilizing speaking as a marketing stream for them.
(23:50):
And that's also really good for people who are a little bit younger in their business, whoare...
trying to nail their message, you were trying to like kind of really land the plane ofwhere it is that they want to take people, know, change makers, potential thought leaders,
people that are really starting to understand the power that they have if they can get infront of people in real life, then we've got that kind of mid tier that looks after that.
(24:14):
And then for people that were just starting out, who were just curious about speaking as amarketing stream through our Be Heard program.
which is just 30 modules where I teach the basics, but everything that you need to knowabout speaking all the way from confidence to structures for which to deviate, TEDx, how
to put events on, what assets do you need?
(24:36):
What do pro speakers do that you might not necessarily think they do intentionally?
So all the like insider tips and tricks, where to speak, all of that sort of stuff iscovered within that sort of foundation program.
So we've got something for everybody because...
stage.
because, you know, it would be remiss of me not to, given how varied my audience is.
Yeah.
(24:57):
And I think what you just mentioned there about like the little hidden tips and tricks,because, again, I think we so often people could look at you, for instance, Danny, you're
so confident on stage, you're so bubbly and energetic.
And other really successful speakers who we see a lot of the shows and events.
And they, they look at you and think that's I could never, there's too big.
(25:19):
Yeah.
from where I am today, that's just too big for me to even envision that that couldpossibly be me.
But this is what I talk about, you the comfort zone actually is a really evil place.
Like if you leave yourself in there, all it is doing is feeding the fear, you know, andfestering and you'll never ever make any progress in your business or, you know, in your,
(25:40):
in yourself.
And I think by taking the tiny steps and breaking it down, maybe just starting on thatvocal business card, just start there.
And then
work your way up, I think is a really important thing for everybody.
Don't focus on that really far end goal.
Break it down where it's like the first thing that you would like to achieve.
(26:00):
Maybe it is just doing that 60 second pitch networking event, but doing it without thenerves, like just making sure that you know it inside and out and it's powerful and it
starts bringing in new leads.
So it's just about breaking them down.
And I think
This goes for everything in business.
think we so often look at people and think, God, they're really successful.
(26:22):
Like they have done so well for themselves.
I like, I'm nothing like that.
You've been doing this for 20 years and people.
And halfway through that, I was sleeping on a park bench.
isn't a, certainly not an overnight success.
it's, know, it's one of the reasons why I do what I do now is so that people can kind ofget there quicker.
(26:46):
For five years, I was building my audience and not doing anything with them.
I was just talking.
I was huffing and puffing and saying nothing on the internet.
It was only like five years in that I realized, my goodness, this has legs.
This could be an event, this could be a movement.
We could change the world with this.
And then I got delusions of grandeur.
Well, it's all happening.
I remember not so long ago being at Leicester Square at a certain premiere, which wasamazing.
(27:13):
And that again, actually, that highlighted it because that showed warts and all, didn'tit?
The whole process of putting on a big festoon.
And it shows that actually you're amazing on stage and full of that energy.
But then in the background, were, you know, energies were low and needed.
Yeah.
with, you know, just this.
have, and I just want to deliver.
(27:36):
Like it means so much that we land and that we, you know, the whole MO, the reason, myreason for being in business is to create safe spaces, to have conversations that matter
and to create success for each other within that we all do well, when we all do well.
And it's so important to me.
throughout the events, which are really high intensity, which are really energetic,there's a lot going on, is that people get it, they get what it is that I'm trying to do.
(28:03):
Because I've been to so many events where, you know, the people that are running theevent, you can tell it's a money making exercise.
You can tell it's just, it's all part of a funnel.
And don't get me wrong, there is business attached to my events.
Of course, there will be, like, these cost hundreds of thousands of pounds to put on.
It's got to generate income.
I've got to be able to feed my kids and pay my mortgage, but.
(28:25):
What's more important, I think the reason why it's done so well, Claire, is because it'scentered in that service.
That's what I wanna create and the anxiety comes from, what if I'm not doing it?
What if I've not done it right?
What if I've done it and then I'm not generating the income on the other side so I can'tdo it again and I'll have to give it all up?
And there's this constant fear, this knife's edge that we dance with as business ownersall the time and I'm no different.
(28:50):
Yeah, no, I think this is the point though, isn't it?
That everybody looks at people who are further down the line and think you've got all ofyour ducks in a row, you smash it every time, have no...
We have no fear, you know, in making decisions, but it's just as hard and we have just thesame, you know, struggles with decision making or confidence in whether we're on the right
(29:13):
path and things.
I don't think that the situations particularly change.
It's just the bigger...
risks attached, but with your events, they're so heart led.
And I think that's why it connects so much with people is the content that you deliver isinsane, but it's done in such a heart led way.
Whereas so many others, you know, they're very corporate or just like, or just business,like you say, and you go and you don't feel particularly, you're just sort of a pawn in
(29:42):
the bigger thing and
just want my community to do well.
You know, Claire, I want you to do well.
I want the people that come toward me.
I know what it's like to be forgotten about.
I know what it's like to be othered.
I know what it's like to be beaten down, you know, and to be a bundle of potential.
Like I was really, I was, is, are, am really intelligent and...
(30:07):
I was dismissed for so long because I didn't understand myself or nobody really saw me.
And so I think what people can see when they come to the big festoon or when they come andget involved in my community is that I see them.
Like I see them and they see me too, cause I show them.
don't try and hide the fact that you've seen it like that in the in between moments.
(30:30):
There is a lot of anxiety that goes on.
There is a lot of, I'm getting this right.
And even though my intuition and the whispers are, yes you are, we're going in the rightdirection, keep going.
There's still that little devil sitting on my shoulder going, gonna fuck it all up.
Yeah.
Well, I think this is the thing and I think people don't people think that you can banishthat forever and you'll never ever feel that again.
And I don't think that ever really goes away.
(30:51):
And I think the nerves for stepping up on stage never really go away, but they just feeldifferently.
You know, you can turn that those nerves into excitement, you can.
Yeah, you can use it as fuel instead of like to hold yourself back.
But I know that you've mentioned earlier that you, you know, you didn't have the bestchildhood and you
(31:13):
went through some trauma exactly the same as me, know, different situations, I'm sure, butdid you, how did you feel that that fueled you to the success now?
The way that I see it is I'm always, and this is just an honest share, I'm always runningaway from that.
(31:39):
Like I would never want to go back to that.
So people are like, will you rest, will you rest?
And sometimes I have that overwhelming feeling like, no, I can't rest because if I stopnow, that's where I'm going back to.
And some of it is fear driven and it's a really honest share.
For lots of us out there, a lot of our forward motion is fear driven.
(32:01):
And you you get your manifestation mavens out there going, but you should just relax andlet the universe let it happen for you.
And you're like, actually no, because I'm the breadwinner for my household.
I'm the breadwinner for my team and the income generator for everyone.
If I stop, it stops.
And so there is a degree of fear around that.
So what that propels me to do for the next stage for me is to...
(32:25):
create the right processes and surround myself with process driven people so that themechanics around the business are more safe and stable.
So it isn't just me hustling anymore.
It's a business working appropriately like a business.
And I think there's a real shift that happens for a lot of entrepreneurs, a lot of peoplethat have a business.
That needs to happen.
It needs to happen sooner rather than later.
(32:46):
And we, because we get stuck in hustle, a lot of it's a survival mechanism and it'sdopamine seeking as well.
So.
we will get addicted to struggle.
We'll get addicted to it being difficult because the highs are so high that we're chasingthe next one.
And it is a very complex, I think it's a very complex thing.
(33:10):
for me, it's, you know, yeah, I'm running, I wanna create a life for myself and mychildren where we have legacy wealth, where we have...
I have a legacy in terms of a movement and those are things that if I didn't keep movingforward in this way, I could see myself very easily slipping back into apathy and boredom
(33:37):
and that's a really dangerous place for me and my little brain to reside.
I think that's very true actually that there's so often there's actually fear that fromlooking back that that's what drives us but it is really important to have that balance
and to actually take care of ourselves because if you're constantly stuck in the hustlemode then you know that burnout is real and there's so many people have suffered I have
(34:05):
been there myself and
it's only when I've actually hit that sort of rock bottom and really and had to take myfoot off the pedal for a bit, but I've realised, okay, I need to get a bit of a bit of
balance back.
But for me, the driving factor for my past was actually sort of proving people wrong.
That's what for me that the success level comes from.
(34:26):
And it's not that I will ever be in that situation again, my situation, I said, isdifferent to yours.
So it's not that factor, but it's I was written off by
literally every single person, especially the adults in my life, when I was, you know, inmy early teens, I need to prove to them that I am, you know, worthy, and I'm successful.
(34:48):
I thanks, love.
But yeah, that's what's driven me through everything.
And I don't know whether that will ever, you know, it's one of those things that I don'tknow whether you can ever achieve that.
And it's not what I don't know whether you will ever be able to achieve.
never having that fear again.
yeah, and there's nothing at the top of the ladder as well.
(35:09):
I think it's something I'll always dance with.
And that's, I think that's the key phrase, that it's something that I've learned to notfight anymore, because the more you struggle, the more, it's like having your fingers
stuck in one of them finger traps.
The more that you struggle, the more difficult it is to kind of get out of them.
And actually, when you just relax and slowly pull away, then it's easier to get out oflearning how
(35:34):
things like mental health, addiction, all of these sort of things, all of these thingsI've experienced, know, adversely, are things that I've learned to dance with over the
course of time.
And so you begin to then notice the ebb and the flow and the movement.
And that helps me look after myself a little bit more.
It helps me lean on my team.
It helps me call in, you know, the days when I can't.
(35:55):
I just happen to have the days where I can, I really go.
And the days where I can't, I have to forgive myself and give myself grace and compassion.
And that's something that I never did.
is learning how to dance with it all.
Understanding that it's there and some of it isn't going to serve you anymore.
So it's just that kind of acknowledgement, I see you, you kept me safe at that time andnow that isn't the case.
(36:19):
Like I don't need that anymore.
I don't need that as a thing.
And also humans are awful to themselves.
Really they are.
They are more likely to run away from pain than they are toward like,
Pleasure, which is why things like when you're growing, gamification of goals and thingslike that are really helpful.
(36:43):
But understanding that, and that's not because we're awful to ourselves, it's actuallybecause we're designed to survive and our constructs, our social constructs have made us
far too comfortable.
So we've nothing to really push us away from anything.
Like we're meant to, not survive, we're meant to thrive for sure, but.
we're not really surviving anything.
So we find these things like finances to survive and we find these things like, you know,society and friendships to survive and relationships to survive.
(37:09):
we look for our own sticks now and it's learning that and understanding that.
And as soon as you start to kind of see beyond the matrix of it, becomes easier to movearound and move with.
Yeah, I think one of my favourite sayings is you've got to start being comfortable withbeing uncomfortable.
And if something is sort of niggling at you and it's feeling a bit, you know,uncomfortable for you, don't run away from that.
(37:34):
Investigate it.
Yeah, investigate it, spend some time in that space.
And it's exactly the same in business.
If something is feeling really challenging for you, you know, and is making you feel a bitout of your comfort zone and uncomfortable, run towards it because that is what's going to
take you.
to the next level in your business for sure.
Yeah.
(37:55):
like in any situation and tell you what, if you're feeling something in your bones, likethat's literally your body telling you, we need to investigate this, running away from it,
we'll just put it to one side, the thing's still going to be there.
So by acknowledging that, yes, this feels dangerous, this feels unsafe for me and thengetting curious, okay, so.
(38:17):
In what way is it making me feel unsafe?
And one of the other things that really helped me, especially from an anxiety point ofview is, am I okay right now?
In this moment, right now, I might be anxious about something that's happening in thefuture, but it's not happened yet, but right now, in this moment, breathing, breathe out,
am I okay?
Yes, okay, well, let's get curious then.
Love that.
And really, this all goes right back to the beginning about starting to know yourself andreally understand what's going on in your mind and your body and all of those things.
(38:49):
you've been on this journey and you know yourself now, you've done the inner work.
Are there sort of three things that you would suggest for people that could start thatjourney?
I think understanding what your personal self-sabotaging behaviors are will help you toget to dance with them, right?
(39:13):
So I know that when there are things that I need to do, I'll procrastinate in some way,shape or form.
I'll fall into the stress response of freeze.
Now there's four.
There's fight, flight, freeze or form.
Now fight.
Sometimes as a self-sabotaging response, I will throw myself into abject workaholism, burnmyself out, because guess what?
(39:34):
If I'm burnt out, I don't have to be successful.
It's really subconscious the way that we do things.
So when I'm overworking, I actually need to call it and go, let's get curious.
Why am I overworking at the moment?
Do I need to overwork or do I need to lean on my team who I have employed?
to help me with situations or am I working to try and hide from the fact that if I hitthis next level, then I've hit this next level and it doesn't feel safe to me.
(39:59):
So that's how fight shows itself in me.
Flight makes sense running away from the thing.
That's one way of getting in your way.
Freeze, procrastinating, procrastinating napping, procrastinating Netflixing,procrastinating doom scrolling, I procrastinate clean.
When I come, like if my kids come home and they find me washing up, they'll ask me thequestion, mom, are you okay?
Is there something you need to be doing?
The answer is always,
(40:20):
love them!
I have a cleaner.
There is no reason for me to be doing it.
I got a cleaner because I'm rubbish at cleaning.
I'm rubbish.
You're like, Steve Jobs decided to wear the same thing every day to increase hisbandwidth.
I decided I wasn't ever gonna clean again so that I could increase my bandwidth.
So if I am cleaning, it means that I am trying to hide from something.
(40:42):
Another really interesting one is phone, where we say yes to everybody else but ourselves.
And that means, well, I've said yes to everybody, I've helped everybody, and that doesn'tmean that you are saying yes to you.
And if I'd known those behaviors in terms of knowing myself, I'd have been able to stopdoing some of those things sooner and move quicker.
(41:03):
Now I know now it's easier.
I know that's not kind of three specific things, but when you understand that as aconcept, then you can kind of check in and go, right, what am I doing right now?
And...
Is it moving me toward the thing that I want to be doing?
And if the answer is no, then you are in some sort of stress response.
Okay, what feels stressful about this for me?
(41:25):
What am I scared of?
Am I scared of my own success?
Because your body does not know.
Like, I've never had a million pound in the bank just for me.
And so my body, my brain, my sympathetic and parasympathetic system does not know thatthat is safe to have.
All sorts of fears pop off for me.
How much more tax will I have to pay?
you know, inheritance taxes, all sorts of weird stuff going on.
(41:47):
The money that I've got now, I know what I'm doing with it.
So am I gonna run toward a million pound bank?
No, because it feels petrifying.
Do I want it?
Yeah, why not?
The thing that you want isn't always necessarily the thing that you actually want, right?
So knowing that is interesting.
I think that's really interesting.
But it's about, you know, there's those four, four elements that definitely, you know, wecan all categorize ourselves into at some point.
(42:14):
But it's having the awareness to realize in that moment, okay, actually, I'm overworkingnow.
So let's ask myself those questions.
And let's, you know, dig into it and be curious, like you say.
So I think it's about just
trying to switch on, isn't it, at the beginning and just become aware of your actions sothat you can then ask yourself the questions when you need to, realise that you're in one
(42:40):
of these categories and then ask the questions while you're there.
But I absolutely love that you run to cleaning if that's like the worst thing for you tobe doing.
So it means you really want to avoid whatever it is.
Really trying to, like the kids, no.
Like Eli will come in, he'll go, mom, what are you doing?
Like I'm over in, what you doing?
(43:01):
just got this image of you with your pink marigolds on and the feather duster.
Aggressively, all of a sudden I've turned into Martha Stewart.
Amazing.
Danny, thank you so much for joining me today.
Where can people find you?
Where's the best places for them to come and look for you?
So the best places that you can find me is across the social media at the QueenBDanny.
(43:24):
So I'm most active on Instagram and Facebook.
You can find me on LinkedIn, but at the QueenBDanny and the event is the big festoon.
But on the QueenBDanny page on Instagram, my profile on Instagram, you can get all of thedetails of everything that I do there.
amazing.
I'll put the links in the show notes for everybody.
I will see you at the big festoon in March.
(43:44):
Super looking forward to that.
But just before we go, can we just explain because I absolutely love this, where the Belement comes to in your branding because I just think this story is beautiful.
So can you share that with everyone please?
thank you.
So, I mean, I love bees anyway.
And I love bees because there's lots of different things that bees do that really lenditself to how I feel about community.
(44:06):
So everybody within the hive, every bee within the hive has a job and every job is reallyimportant.
There's not one job more important than the other.
Everything is for the good of the hive, right?
Which sounds a little bit like communism, but please don't like get like, I'm not gettinginto politics.
It's a romantic idea.
like it.
Also,
When bees find patches of flowers, good patches of flowers, they will come back to thehive and via the medium of dance, no less, Claire, they will communicate with the other
(44:38):
bees where the good flowers is.
They don't over farm either.
They litmus test and they make sure that they don't over farm a particular patch offlowers.
They will let it replenish and go to a different one.
So they do lots of really cool things.
When they're building something new, they link arms and they festoon.
That's where the big festoon comes from.
When I say I am the queen bee, it's actually nothing to do with me being the queen bee.
(45:00):
It's me being audacious and hopefully encouraging and inviting other people to beaudacious.
But where it really comes from is when I was homeless, on the other side of beinghomeless, I was safe.
I was watching the bee movie with my kids.
They were little at the time.
And there's this phrase, this quote right at the beginning saying aerodynamically beesshouldn't be able to fly.
(45:20):
Their little wings shouldn't get their fat little bodies off the ground and the beedoesn't care what humans think is impossible, the bee flies anyway.
And that really is the heart of everything that I do is that whatever it is that'shappened, wherever it is that you've been, where you're going is your choice and your
decision and you get to fly anyway.
Just love it.
Honestly, every time you share it, I just think it's the most beautiful story.
(45:43):
Dani, thank you so much for joining us today, for being the Queen Bee and for doingeverything that you are doing.
It's an amazing, amazing journey that you are on.
And I'm very privileged to be on it with you.
So thank you to all our listeners for sticking with us this week.
And I will speak to you all next time.
Hello and welcome to this week's episode of The Bold Blueprint with Claire Bartlett,myself.
And today I am super excited to invite the queen bee herself, Dani Wallace, to join us.
She's an international speaker coach and the producer of The Big Festoon.
Dani, I'm so glad to have you here with us this week.
Thank you so much for giving us your time.
(00:22):
I'm thrilled, Claire, to be coming to have this conversation with you.
We've been like crossing paths for ages, so to finally pin each other down and sit to havea chat, I'm thrilled.
So thank you for having me.
No, you're welcome.
I can't wait to share your journey with our listeners.
do you want to start by, now I know where you started videos in the car, but can you sharea little bit about where you were at that point and then how that's led to you to where
(00:47):
you are today?
Yeah, absolutely.
I originally started off as a performer.
So I've been a performer for more than 25 years professionally, both as a singer and as apresenter and host.
And I did that professionally for a while, but it was never kind of considered a properjob, so to speak.
(01:07):
So I kind of came, I did this all over the world.
I came back to the UK and got a proper job working in corporate and essentially swapped astage for a stage.
So I started to work.
in corporate within like learning development facilities within HR.
So I got to work some brilliant, brilliant brands, Jaguar Land Rover, Coffin Warehouse,when Coffin Warehouse was on the open up Best Buy.
(01:31):
And even though they were considered sort of successful jobs, I found it really difficultbeing employed for a number of reasons.
One is as I've later found out that I'm neurodivergent, but also,
I'd experienced quite a lot trauma in my growing up years.
So like clocking in and clocking out and having to report into somebody all the timereally felt quite like for want of a better phrase, felt quite triggering.
(02:00):
And so I wanted to work for myself.
So I started to work for myself, but underneath all of this, my personal life wasn't inthe best of places and I'd experienced domestic abuse and homelessness.
And I decided if ever I was gonna survive that situation, I'd spend the rest of my life inservice.
So I came out of corporate, started working for myself, started to work full-timeperforming again, and started to get ready on camera.
(02:29):
Like with my makeup, people watch, people put makeup on, you know, on live streaming.
And I kind of saw that was happening and started to do it and started to sort of sharewith people what I was getting up to.
So that sort of mixture of stage performance,
working experience and corporate working experience and then the tenacity and resiliencethat I'd had to sort of garner in my personal life kind of created this perfect storm
(02:54):
eventually.
Yeah, but I don't think we can class you as the perfect storm.
Perfect, definitely.
very, you know, I just love the energy that you bring every time I see you just light upthe room, which I think is amazing.
But you have a certain level of confidence and ease on stage, don't you?
And I think that's why you just have a way to support other people.
(03:18):
Because public speaking, and I love that you have a saying that you say so much that, youknow,
the words that we use and our voice needs to be heard and it's our best sort of marketingtool.
how do you support people with the confidence?
Because it is the biggest fear, isn't it, for anybody is public speaking.
(03:39):
So how do you work with people to build that?
does it come?
Did it always just come naturally to you?
Not particularly.
What we need to understand, so glossophobia, the fear of public speaking is the number onefear in the Western world.
And I find that wild.
So my ability to perform stemmed from the experiences I had when I was growing up.
(04:01):
If I was singing or if I was being funny, nobody was fighting.
So if I could divert attention onto me, then yes, I was getting my needs of recognitionand significance being met, but also,
I knew that if people were following what I was doing and I was a center of attention,they weren't fighting each other.
People were in less danger when I was performing.
(04:25):
And I didn't realize that was something I did until much, much later on.
I started to a student of speaking and a real student of confidence.
And that's the real thing.
And people often mistake confidence for introversion or extroversion.
They'll look at me and they will assume.
that I'm an extrovert.
And actually that's not the case at all.
(04:46):
I'm a huge introvert.
And what we misunderstand about this is that introversion and extroversion, or if you'reon the sliding scale, ambiversion, is just where you get your energy from.
So people who are extroverts get their energy from being around people.
They charge their battery up socially.
People who are introverts charge their battery up or their social battery or their sort ofenergetic battery.
(05:11):
in solitude or in very, very small groups of people.
And ambiverts kind of move between the two.
Just because somebody's an extrovert does not necessarily mean they're a show pony.
And just because somebody's an introvert doesn't necessarily mean they're sort ofoutwardly shy and retiring.
It really, when we start to understand a couple of things, what confidence actually is andthen what it isn't and what our assumptions are about it, we can start to then build our
(05:37):
muscles around our own confidence.
So for me, understanding and accepting that I wasn't actually the extrovert that everybodywas telling me that I was, allowed me to start to own my process around performing.
So I save my energy up prior to speaking or prior to training or prior to podcasts likethis, which is much more intimate and actually more my thing.
(06:00):
And then I'll get on stage and hadouken people.
Hahaha
with the energy that I have, but with that hadouken, often leaves a depletion in energywhere then I have to go and regroup and rest and not talk to anyone for a couple of days
after a big event.
And conversely, if I look at my COO who's incredible, Danielle, you would have her pinnedas an introvert, you would have her pinned as someone relatively shy, and actually she's
(06:27):
not.
She gets her energy from being around people and absorbing it.
She's not necessarily loud with it, allowed in that space, but she thrives more when she'saround people.
So I think understanding that was the first thing.
And then the second thing is really getting to grips with the fact that confidence,however convoluted we look at it, is knowing.
(06:48):
And it's real deep seated knowing.
So for example, Tanya Jules.
So when I was nine years old, I didn't know how to tie my shoelace and I used to getreally flustered, especially when I had to tie my bow on me, summer dress.
I'd run them gingham summer dresses, Claire.
I don't know if you did, but yeah, same, same.
We had pink and then they changed to light blue and it was like, it messed everyone'smojo.
(07:12):
But they had these little bows that you had to tie at the front.
And I used to get really flustered because getting dressed after PE was, it became, I gotreally nervous about it.
I just didn't, I just, I wasn't very coordinated.
Anyway, my grandma taught me how to tie a bow.
And the first time I did it, I thought it was a fluke.
Second time I did it, I thought it was a fluke.
(07:34):
And now obviously, sort of 30 years later, if someone said to me, tie a bow in front ofeverybody, Danny, I'd find that very easy.
I'd be confident doing it.
And I think what people do is when it comes to speaking specifically, Claire, is that theydon't put the work in prior to doing the thing.
And so they're feeling
(07:54):
not confident about lots of aspects of their delivery.
So, you know, I've come across a lot of people who can just get up stage, on stage andwing it, or they'll go into situations and wing it and not have done the preparation so
that they just know in their guts, I know exactly what I'm gonna say.
It doesn't phase me, but that comes through repetition.
So people who do something for the first time, just like I tied my bow for the first time,I think, it was a fluke and I was scared when I did it and I was still flustered and it
(08:20):
took me for ages.
But doing it.
a million times later, I could do it really quickly and don't think about it.
So that is the thing that I teach, is the recognition that we need to understand ourselvesin order to become confident.
Some people are like, you should love yourself and all of this sort of stuff.
(08:41):
And sometimes there are days where you don't particularly, you can still be confident, goout and confidently deliver on stage, but you need to know what you're saying and why
you're saying it and what's the message you're landing and.
Trust your abilities and you can only do that through repetition.
That was a really long answer, I'm really sorry.
but I resonate with all of it.
And especially I love the fact that you said, you know, about the introverts andextroverts, because I get this all of the time.
(09:04):
So because I am, you know, super confident now, speak on stage, I'm hosting this podcast,you know, I can network a room like no one's business.
But actually, I'm completely the same as you.
Like I need to hibernate after especially big events.
And I feel really drained after them.
trying but trying to explain that to people like
(09:24):
you know, I actually don't get energized by these big spaces.
They drain me personally, to the point where some events I've been to, I've actually hadto like just disappear for a couple of hours.
been like a car is too overwhelming for me.
And actually, I'm just starting to feel a bit panicky.
So I need to just go and step away for a bit.
But that, yeah, it is.
(09:47):
Like we have to provide on purpose, because sensory overload is an absolute thing.
you're taking in sights, sounds, smells, lots of new people, your brain's working at amillion miles and now you're trying to learn what's going on on stage.
At our events, we've actually created breakout spaces for people to even go and snooze, togo and take that time out.
Yeah.
yeah, it's a massive thing.
(10:08):
you know, and I sometimes don't think people understand that need.
But also then with the public speaking, so I'm a little bit, I do prepare for speeches,but I don't practice them until I know them, you know, perfect, I don't read a script.
Because actually, when I've tried to do that in the past, that gives me more anxiety.
(10:31):
pressure.
than not.
So I will practice it, I'll write, you know, sort of cards.
And for the first few times I went on stage, I had to have cue cards with me and that gaveme the confidence.
You know, I wouldn't miss anything that was, you any of the topics.
But God, I remember that very first time.
It was like a physical reaction.
(10:51):
I felt that fear in every pore of my body.
And it wasn't that big a speaking gig, but it was at an event with Sarah Davies and otherlike massive names.
So it just, felt like, you know, and it was the first time I'd ever done anything likethat.
but I did it and it's, this is exactly what I teach the same as what you say, you know,you just have to break it down into small steps.
(11:13):
That small stage, that first one led me to the second stage.
It was slightly bigger, but I had slightly more confidence because I've, I'd, you know,survived that first time.
And it is about just.
gradually working your way through it, isn't it?
But I don't think I could ever just walk on stage and be like, hi, I'm here, let's talk.
Like I'd need to have done that preparation before.
(11:35):
But some people, yeah, you probably could, Yeah.
the fabric of my being or, you know, I know in my, the way that my brain works is in kindof like bite-sized chunks.
So I know the structures from which to deviate, but that's taken, it's taken 20 years ofpractice at that.
And it's interesting that you say about the, put under pressure by writing out a scriptper se, and I'm absolutely with you.
(12:03):
I work towards,
what we call structures from which to deviate.
So, or monkey bars.
So instead of thinking you've got to put one foot directly in front of the other andremember every single word, it's more like recalling what it is that you want to say.
So the first time you ever hear Goldilocks and the Three Bears, for example, you'll hearit word for word because someone will tell you the story or you'll read the story.
(12:26):
But actually you can boil it down to the fact that she walked through the forest one day.
came across a house, sat in the chairs, ate some porridge, led in the beds and the bearscame home and scared her off.
That's what happened.
Now you can then, now we know those monkey bars, wax lyrical at each one of those steps.
And it's knowing for a speaker, knowing what your monkey bars are and then knowing howmuch time you've got to speak.
(12:47):
And that's when the magic can start happening.
That's when you can start releasing some of the pressure from yourself.
Yeah.
And I suppose those cue cards I was holding so tightly in my hands were my monkey bars,basically.
They were keeping me in track.
And then it got to the point where actually the last couple of speak speaking gigs I'ddone, I realized afterwards, hadn't even looked at them once.
(13:09):
And actually, they were just my comfort blanket.
They were just making me feel like I could do it.
So the next time I braved it, I didn't take them on stage.
love that.
did induce a bit of fear in the beginning.
And I was like, but I don't know whether you do this, Danny, or whether you've ever triedit, but I do the power pose.
Love a good power pose.
Yeah.
(13:30):
And always before I go on stage, I'll do it.
so, in the beginning, I was running off to the toilet to do it.
Now I just do it wherever, like, I don't care if people fit.
Yeah.
This is me building up that battery of energy and confidence.
And then I just went on and it was completely and utterly fine.
Mm-hmm.
But I don't think I would have been able to do it without them for that very first speech,you know.
(13:54):
Yeah.
to create that muscle memory.
know, comedians do it.
They'll go and test out material at small, like, working men's clubs and comedy clubs.
The night at the Apollo isn't the first time they've done that.
That's maybe the 50th 60th, 100th time they've done it.
One of my friends got invited to a really small, a member, like, a members-only club to goand watch.
(14:17):
I think it was, like, an audience of maybe 20 people.
And...
She didn't know like who was going to be performing.
It was a little comedy show and it was Jerry Seinfeld.
And Jerry Seinfeld, he was doing joke after joke after joke and he was bombing.
And then he'd go back to the stage and write stuff down.
And then she realized actually what he was doing is testing out his material for the firsttime in this like little creative space in front of people that he trusted.
(14:46):
And that's where he'll go and find where his jokes are landing.
You know, even the best speakers, comedians, performers in the world have that bit at thebeginning where they need to get the muscle memory around it.
And then so, so he probably didn't do half of that set in his eventual set, but he had todo that in order to get the Night at the Apollo style material.
(15:08):
exactly the same thing in above the pub in our little village.
This is I mean, years ago now we went to this, I think it was like a five pounder ticketcharity comedy night.
And Alan Carr was came on.
And he absolutely bombed we were all like this guy is atrocious.
The next year he was on telly and his career just took off.
(15:31):
But yeah, he and none of the content that he tried on us that just completely failed.
know, he's just getting out the weeds basically, they're testing and I think that's whatwe kind of all need to do to an extent, isn't it?
real stones to, mean, especially when you're trying to be funny, like that's another levelof pressure where you've got to land jokes.
It takes a serious amount of stones to be able to go out and try that stuff out and allowyourself to bomb.
(15:58):
But when you do, that's when the magic really happens.
And I think, you know, one of the reasons why I do what I do and support people to speakis that they don't have to put themselves at that kind of risk.
Cause the reason why we get scared is because essentially what we're doing is speaking, iswe're challenging the alpha in the room.
That's what we're doing as animals.
Yeah.
the potential outcomes could be that the pack will turn on you and kill you and not likethe challenge to the alpha.
(16:20):
That's what we feel so visceral about it.
That's why we get thrown into stress response.
And then when we provide safe environments for people to test stuff out like that withoutthose, without the Seinfelds and the Alan Carls and the Jason Manfords having to throw
themselves to the lions for the craft, I think we can get more and more great speakers outinto the world with the safe spaces.
(16:41):
I love that.
But so one of the things that we've spoken a lot now about speaking on stage, but actuallywhat people don't think necessarily realize is that when we talk about public speaking,
it's literally from the ground.
if someone says, hi, networking event, what do you do?
Your response is public speaking.
It's all part of the same package, isn't it?
So although people say I could never do public speaking.
(17:04):
When we use those two words, public speaking, everyone instantly just pictures a big stageand a massive audience staring at them.
But actually there's so many other elements to it.
So do you work throughout that whole process with people?
Yeah.
the bedrock of any kind of speaking is to first know thyself and confidence comes withbeing able to walk into any room and know what you're gonna say before you get into it.
(17:32):
there's, the way that I teach this is I talk about vocal business cards and the analogythat I use is whilst I'm teaching it is, I won't swear, but the Mexican wave of poo,
right?
So.
You go into like one of these networking meetings and you know that you're gonna have tostand up to your elevator pitch.
You've not really spent a huge amount of time on it to be fair.
(17:54):
And by the way, the way that you introduce yourself or your vocal business card issomething that you should be checking in with really regularly to make sure that it still
fits with what it is that you're doing energetically.
So when you go to these events, you'll kind of just be waiting for your turn to talk,stand up, vomit it out of your mouth, sit down.
You're not listening to anyone before or after.
(18:14):
you're not paying actually attention to the room are you?
absolutely pointless exercise.
But when you allow yourself the space and the time to really consider how do I introducemyself?
How do I want this room to see me?
How do I share with the people that I want to help in this room that it's me that's gonnahelp them?
So we split it into four.
I don't know if it's helpful, Claire, but it's really simple.
(18:37):
I am in your name and I, and in as few words as possible, your job role.
So for me, I am...
a public speaking coach and an event producer.
That's, know, in a nutshell, that's what I do.
I could wax lyrical about the fact that I'm a singer, I'm a performer, you know, I'm anauthor, I'm all of these things.
I'm a mom, I'm partner, like I'm all these things.
(18:59):
But the room needs to understand really quickly what I do to help identify themselves.
Then, who you help.
So me, I particularly help people from marginalized genders and backgrounds take up spaceusing their voice.
particularly if they've got like a business message.
And then the so that, and that's to create more impact, influence and income.
And that's the bedrock on which I stand and I can, again, like I say, wax lyrical on allof the things.
(19:22):
But if I don't know that, then it's really hard for me to say to somebody what it is thatI do and then get it and then we can connect from there.
So it's I am and I, I help so that.
Very powerful.
looking for, I don't know if you've ever been to these meets that they've got, I'm lookingfor people who want to, I don't know, change their lives.
(19:45):
We've got to really think like, what are the people that you want to work with or that youwant to help?
What problems are they Googling the solutions for?
And speak to that instead of, know, I'm a manifestation maven and I help people manifesttheir dream life.
That's great.
but nobody's really Googling how do I manifest my dream life.
(20:06):
They're looking for how do I make more money?
They're looking for how do I create more freedom?
look at, know, like get really specific with who you're helping and what the magic ofworking with you is.
And as soon as you've got that nailed, walking into those rooms is so much easier.
And then your messaging will extend from there.
I that.
I I can't miss up this opportunity, Danny, for you to give us the perfect example.
(20:27):
So go on, hit us with your vocal business card.
So my name is Dani Wallace and I am an international celebrity public speaking coach andthe event producer of the fastest growing business and personal development event here in
the UK, the Big Festoon.
I help people, particularly business owners from marginalized genders and backgrounds,take up space with their superpower hidden in plain sight, their voice, so that they can
(20:48):
create more impact, more influence and more income.
Boom, mic drop.
I I can clearly tell this isn't your first rodeo and you've done that a few times now.
But that's the point, isn't it?
Exactly.
That's the point is that you can do that with your eyes closed in any situation and itjust flow naturally because you know what you need to say.
(21:09):
And I suppose when you're talking about what you do and who you help, you can tweak thatto the audience that you're in.
that moment.
So for instance, if you were in a room full of mums in business, for instance, you couldtailor it to specifically target those people and make them really resonate with you.
(21:30):
you need to get a basis, a ground foundation there before and then you can start playingwith it, can't you, and tweaking it.
Yeah, yes, exactly.
you've got that kind of foundation and then you can play, then you can get creative.
I always think about it like a climbing frame in a playground, that you've got theclimbing frame that provides you with the form and the thing that you can hang onto, but
(21:52):
you can choose which way you climb up it, you can climb around it, you can weave in andout of the bars, you can go through the inside and then come back out through the outside,
but you've got, the frame doesn't really change.
and then...
learning a lot about how you were on playgrounds when you were younger.
You didn't just get to the top and back down.
(22:16):
Love that.
I love that analogy.
And the monkey bars as well.
There's a theme here, I think.
It's play, it's joy.
Like one of our core business values is that we find the fun and bring the joy.
That's what we're looking for all the time because we learn best just like children dothrough either abject trauma or abject joy.
(22:36):
And I would prefer to bring the latter.
the joy.
Let's let's focus on the joy for sure.
I love that.
So how do people work with you for the speaking opportunities?
And is it like we've said already, so it's not necessarily people that just want to get upon stage and do that level of speaking.
There's different opportunities, isn't there?
(22:57):
And is there sort of a gradient that they can work through with you on this?
Yeah, absolutely.
say for example, in March 2026, I will be holding the Big Festoon at the AO Arena inManchester.
Huge, huge venue.
We are aiming for between two and a half to 5,000 people at that event.
For somebody who's first starting out, to jump straight in front of a crowd like thatcould be quite daunting.
(23:22):
For somebody who maybe suffers glossophobia, that could be quite daunting.
So that's for more...
Like you're established speakers that want to work on that 1%.
Like really, they wanna go from exceptional to world class.
They're doing that kind of work.
And then we've got our Be Amplified program, which is for people, whether they are, I callthem dragon slayers.
So people who are really facing that fear, but they're ready to grow their businessutilizing speaking as a marketing stream for them.
(23:50):
And that's also really good for people who are a little bit younger in their business, whoare...
trying to nail their message, you were trying to like kind of really land the plane ofwhere it is that they want to take people, know, change makers, potential thought leaders,
people that are really starting to understand the power that they have if they can get infront of people in real life, then we've got that kind of mid tier that looks after that.
(24:14):
And then for people that were just starting out, who were just curious about speaking as amarketing stream through our Be Heard program.
which is just 30 modules where I teach the basics, but everything that you need to knowabout speaking all the way from confidence to structures for which to deviate, TEDx, how
to put events on, what assets do you need?
(24:36):
What do pro speakers do that you might not necessarily think they do intentionally?
So all the like insider tips and tricks, where to speak, all of that sort of stuff iscovered within that sort of foundation program.
So we've got something for everybody because...
stage.
because, you know, it would be remiss of me not to, given how varied my audience is.
Yeah.
(24:57):
And I think what you just mentioned there about like the little hidden tips and tricks,because, again, I think we so often people could look at you, for instance, Danny, you're
so confident on stage, you're so bubbly and energetic.
And other really successful speakers who we see a lot of the shows and events.
And they, they look at you and think that's I could never, there's too big.
(25:19):
Yeah.
from where I am today, that's just too big for me to even envision that that couldpossibly be me.
But this is what I talk about, you the comfort zone actually is a really evil place.
Like if you leave yourself in there, all it is doing is feeding the fear, you know, andfestering and you'll never ever make any progress in your business or, you know, in your,
(25:40):
in yourself.
And I think by taking the tiny steps and breaking it down, maybe just starting on thatvocal business card, just start there.
And then
work your way up, I think is a really important thing for everybody.
Don't focus on that really far end goal.
Break it down where it's like the first thing that you would like to achieve.
(26:00):
Maybe it is just doing that 60 second pitch networking event, but doing it without thenerves, like just making sure that you know it inside and out and it's powerful and it
starts bringing in new leads.
So it's just about breaking them down.
And I think
This goes for everything in business.
think we so often look at people and think, God, they're really successful.
(26:22):
Like they have done so well for themselves.
I like, I'm nothing like that.
You've been doing this for 20 years and people.
And halfway through that, I was sleeping on a park bench.
isn't a, certainly not an overnight success.
it's, know, it's one of the reasons why I do what I do now is so that people can kind ofget there quicker.
(26:46):
For five years, I was building my audience and not doing anything with them.
I was just talking.
I was huffing and puffing and saying nothing on the internet.
It was only like five years in that I realized, my goodness, this has legs.
This could be an event, this could be a movement.
We could change the world with this.
And then I got delusions of grandeur.
Well, it's all happening.
I remember not so long ago being at Leicester Square at a certain premiere, which wasamazing.
(27:13):
And that again, actually, that highlighted it because that showed warts and all, didn'tit?
The whole process of putting on a big festoon.
And it shows that actually you're amazing on stage and full of that energy.
But then in the background, were, you know, energies were low and needed.
Yeah.
with, you know, just this.
have, and I just want to deliver.
(27:36):
Like it means so much that we land and that we, you know, the whole MO, the reason, myreason for being in business is to create safe spaces, to have conversations that matter
and to create success for each other within that we all do well, when we all do well.
And it's so important to me.
throughout the events, which are really high intensity, which are really energetic,there's a lot going on, is that people get it, they get what it is that I'm trying to do.
(28:03):
Because I've been to so many events where, you know, the people that are running theevent, you can tell it's a money making exercise.
You can tell it's just, it's all part of a funnel.
And don't get me wrong, there is business attached to my events.
Of course, there will be, like, these cost hundreds of thousands of pounds to put on.
It's got to generate income.
I've got to be able to feed my kids and pay my mortgage, but.
(28:25):
What's more important, I think the reason why it's done so well, Claire, is because it'scentered in that service.
That's what I wanna create and the anxiety comes from, what if I'm not doing it?
What if I've not done it right?
What if I've done it and then I'm not generating the income on the other side so I can'tdo it again and I'll have to give it all up?
And there's this constant fear, this knife's edge that we dance with as business ownersall the time and I'm no different.
(28:50):
Yeah, no, I think this is the point though, isn't it?
That everybody looks at people who are further down the line and think you've got all ofyour ducks in a row, you smash it every time, have no...
We have no fear, you know, in making decisions, but it's just as hard and we have just thesame, you know, struggles with decision making or confidence in whether we're on the right
(29:13):
path and things.
I don't think that the situations particularly change.
It's just the bigger...
risks attached, but with your events, they're so heart led.
And I think that's why it connects so much with people is the content that you deliver isinsane, but it's done in such a heart led way.
Whereas so many others, you know, they're very corporate or just like, or just business,like you say, and you go and you don't feel particularly, you're just sort of a pawn in
(29:42):
the bigger thing and
just want my community to do well.
You know, Claire, I want you to do well.
I want the people that come toward me.
I know what it's like to be forgotten about.
I know what it's like to be othered.
I know what it's like to be beaten down, you know, and to be a bundle of potential.
Like I was really, I was, is, are, am really intelligent and...
(30:07):
I was dismissed for so long because I didn't understand myself or nobody really saw me.
And so I think what people can see when they come to the big festoon or when they come andget involved in my community is that I see them.
Like I see them and they see me too, cause I show them.
don't try and hide the fact that you've seen it like that in the in between moments.
(30:30):
There is a lot of anxiety that goes on.
There is a lot of, I'm getting this right.
And even though my intuition and the whispers are, yes you are, we're going in the rightdirection, keep going.
There's still that little devil sitting on my shoulder going, gonna fuck it all up.
Yeah.
Well, I think this is the thing and I think people don't people think that you can banishthat forever and you'll never ever feel that again.
And I don't think that ever really goes away.
(30:51):
And I think the nerves for stepping up on stage never really go away, but they just feeldifferently.
You know, you can turn that those nerves into excitement, you can.
Yeah, you can use it as fuel instead of like to hold yourself back.
But I know that you've mentioned earlier that you, you know, you didn't have the bestchildhood and you
(31:13):
went through some trauma exactly the same as me, know, different situations, I'm sure, butdid you, how did you feel that that fueled you to the success now?
The way that I see it is I'm always, and this is just an honest share, I'm always runningaway from that.
(31:39):
Like I would never want to go back to that.
So people are like, will you rest, will you rest?
And sometimes I have that overwhelming feeling like, no, I can't rest because if I stopnow, that's where I'm going back to.
And some of it is fear driven and it's a really honest share.
For lots of us out there, a lot of our forward motion is fear driven.
(32:01):
And you you get your manifestation mavens out there going, but you should just relax andlet the universe let it happen for you.
And you're like, actually no, because I'm the breadwinner for my household.
I'm the breadwinner for my team and the income generator for everyone.
If I stop, it stops.
And so there is a degree of fear around that.
So what that propels me to do for the next stage for me is to...
(32:25):
create the right processes and surround myself with process driven people so that themechanics around the business are more safe and stable.
So it isn't just me hustling anymore.
It's a business working appropriately like a business.
And I think there's a real shift that happens for a lot of entrepreneurs, a lot of peoplethat have a business.
That needs to happen.
It needs to happen sooner rather than later.
(32:46):
And we, because we get stuck in hustle, a lot of it's a survival mechanism and it'sdopamine seeking as well.
So.
we will get addicted to struggle.
We'll get addicted to it being difficult because the highs are so high that we're chasingthe next one.
And it is a very complex, I think it's a very complex thing.
(33:10):
for me, it's, you know, yeah, I'm running, I wanna create a life for myself and mychildren where we have legacy wealth, where we have...
I have a legacy in terms of a movement and those are things that if I didn't keep movingforward in this way, I could see myself very easily slipping back into apathy and boredom
(33:37):
and that's a really dangerous place for me and my little brain to reside.
I think that's very true actually that there's so often there's actually fear that fromlooking back that that's what drives us but it is really important to have that balance
and to actually take care of ourselves because if you're constantly stuck in the hustlemode then you know that burnout is real and there's so many people have suffered I have
(34:05):
been there myself and
it's only when I've actually hit that sort of rock bottom and really and had to take myfoot off the pedal for a bit, but I've realised, okay, I need to get a bit of a bit of
balance back.
But for me, the driving factor for my past was actually sort of proving people wrong.
That's what for me that the success level comes from.
(34:26):
And it's not that I will ever be in that situation again, my situation, I said, isdifferent to yours.
So it's not that factor, but it's I was written off by
literally every single person, especially the adults in my life, when I was, you know, inmy early teens, I need to prove to them that I am, you know, worthy, and I'm successful.
(34:48):
I thanks, love.
But yeah, that's what's driven me through everything.
And I don't know whether that will ever, you know, it's one of those things that I don'tknow whether you can ever achieve that.
And it's not what I don't know whether you will ever be able to achieve.
never having that fear again.
yeah, and there's nothing at the top of the ladder as well.
(35:09):
I think it's something I'll always dance with.
And that's, I think that's the key phrase, that it's something that I've learned to notfight anymore, because the more you struggle, the more, it's like having your fingers
stuck in one of them finger traps.
The more that you struggle, the more difficult it is to kind of get out of them.
And actually, when you just relax and slowly pull away, then it's easier to get out oflearning how
(35:34):
things like mental health, addiction, all of these sort of things, all of these thingsI've experienced, know, adversely, are things that I've learned to dance with over the
course of time.
And so you begin to then notice the ebb and the flow and the movement.
And that helps me look after myself a little bit more.
It helps me lean on my team.
It helps me call in, you know, the days when I can't.
(35:55):
I just happen to have the days where I can, I really go.
And the days where I can't, I have to forgive myself and give myself grace and compassion.
And that's something that I never did.
is learning how to dance with it all.
Understanding that it's there and some of it isn't going to serve you anymore.
So it's just that kind of acknowledgement, I see you, you kept me safe at that time andnow that isn't the case.
(36:19):
Like I don't need that anymore.
I don't need that as a thing.
And also humans are awful to themselves.
Really they are.
They are more likely to run away from pain than they are toward like,
Pleasure, which is why things like when you're growing, gamification of goals and thingslike that are really helpful.
(36:43):
But understanding that, and that's not because we're awful to ourselves, it's actuallybecause we're designed to survive and our constructs, our social constructs have made us
far too comfortable.
So we've nothing to really push us away from anything.
Like we're meant to, not survive, we're meant to thrive for sure, but.
we're not really surviving anything.
So we find these things like finances to survive and we find these things like, you know,society and friendships to survive and relationships to survive.
(37:09):
we look for our own sticks now and it's learning that and understanding that.
And as soon as you start to kind of see beyond the matrix of it, becomes easier to movearound and move with.
Yeah, I think one of my favourite sayings is you've got to start being comfortable withbeing uncomfortable.
And if something is sort of niggling at you and it's feeling a bit, you know,uncomfortable for you, don't run away from that.
(37:34):
Investigate it.
Yeah, investigate it, spend some time in that space.
And it's exactly the same in business.
If something is feeling really challenging for you, you know, and is making you feel a bitout of your comfort zone and uncomfortable, run towards it because that is what's going to
take you.
to the next level in your business for sure.
Yeah.
(37:55):
like in any situation and tell you what, if you're feeling something in your bones, likethat's literally your body telling you, we need to investigate this, running away from it,
we'll just put it to one side, the thing's still going to be there.
So by acknowledging that, yes, this feels dangerous, this feels unsafe for me and thengetting curious, okay, so.
(38:17):
In what way is it making me feel unsafe?
And one of the other things that really helped me, especially from an anxiety point ofview is, am I okay right now?
In this moment, right now, I might be anxious about something that's happening in thefuture, but it's not happened yet, but right now, in this moment, breathing, breathe out,
am I okay?
Yes, okay, well, let's get curious then.
Love that.
And really, this all goes right back to the beginning about starting to know yourself andreally understand what's going on in your mind and your body and all of those things.
(38:49):
you've been on this journey and you know yourself now, you've done the inner work.
Are there sort of three things that you would suggest for people that could start thatjourney?
I think understanding what your personal self-sabotaging behaviors are will help you toget to dance with them, right?
(39:13):
So I know that when there are things that I need to do, I'll procrastinate in some way,shape or form.
I'll fall into the stress response of freeze.
Now there's four.
There's fight, flight, freeze or form.
Now fight.
Sometimes as a self-sabotaging response, I will throw myself into abject workaholism, burnmyself out, because guess what?
(39:34):
If I'm burnt out, I don't have to be successful.
It's really subconscious the way that we do things.
So when I'm overworking, I actually need to call it and go, let's get curious.
Why am I overworking at the moment?
Do I need to overwork or do I need to lean on my team who I have employed?
to help me with situations or am I working to try and hide from the fact that if I hitthis next level, then I've hit this next level and it doesn't feel safe to me.
(39:59):
So that's how fight shows itself in me.
Flight makes sense running away from the thing.
That's one way of getting in your way.
Freeze, procrastinating, procrastinating napping, procrastinating Netflixing,procrastinating doom scrolling, I procrastinate clean.
When I come, like if my kids come home and they find me washing up, they'll ask me thequestion, mom, are you okay?
Is there something you need to be doing?
The answer is always,
(40:20):
love them!
I have a cleaner.
There is no reason for me to be doing it.
I got a cleaner because I'm rubbish at cleaning.
I'm rubbish.
You're like, Steve Jobs decided to wear the same thing every day to increase hisbandwidth.
I decided I wasn't ever gonna clean again so that I could increase my bandwidth.
So if I am cleaning, it means that I am trying to hide from something.
(40:42):
Another really interesting one is phone, where we say yes to everybody else but ourselves.
And that means, well, I've said yes to everybody, I've helped everybody, and that doesn'tmean that you are saying yes to you.
And if I'd known those behaviors in terms of knowing myself, I'd have been able to stopdoing some of those things sooner and move quicker.
(41:03):
Now I know now it's easier.
I know that's not kind of three specific things, but when you understand that as aconcept, then you can kind of check in and go, right, what am I doing right now?
And...
Is it moving me toward the thing that I want to be doing?
And if the answer is no, then you are in some sort of stress response.
Okay, what feels stressful about this for me?
(41:25):
What am I scared of?
Am I scared of my own success?
Because your body does not know.
Like, I've never had a million pound in the bank just for me.
And so my body, my brain, my sympathetic and parasympathetic system does not know thatthat is safe to have.
All sorts of fears pop off for me.
How much more tax will I have to pay?
you know, inheritance taxes, all sorts of weird stuff going on.
(41:47):
The money that I've got now, I know what I'm doing with it.
So am I gonna run toward a million pound bank?
No, because it feels petrifying.
Do I want it?
Yeah, why not?
The thing that you want isn't always necessarily the thing that you actually want, right?
So knowing that is interesting.
I think that's really interesting.
But it's about, you know, there's those four, four elements that definitely, you know, wecan all categorize ourselves into at some point.
(42:14):
But it's having the awareness to realize in that moment, okay, actually, I'm overworkingnow.
So let's ask myself those questions.
And let's, you know, dig into it and be curious, like you say.
So I think it's about just
trying to switch on, isn't it, at the beginning and just become aware of your actions sothat you can then ask yourself the questions when you need to, realise that you're in one
(42:40):
of these categories and then ask the questions while you're there.
But I absolutely love that you run to cleaning if that's like the worst thing for you tobe doing.
So it means you really want to avoid whatever it is.
Really trying to, like the kids, no.
Like Eli will come in, he'll go, mom, what are you doing?
Like I'm over in, what you doing?
(43:01):
just got this image of you with your pink marigolds on and the feather duster.
Aggressively, all of a sudden I've turned into Martha Stewart.
Amazing.
Danny, thank you so much for joining me today.
Where can people find you?
Where's the best places for them to come and look for you?
So the best places that you can find me is across the social media at the QueenBDanny.
(43:24):
So I'm most active on Instagram and Facebook.
You can find me on LinkedIn, but at the QueenBDanny and the event is the big festoon.
But on the QueenBDanny page on Instagram, my profile on Instagram, you can get all of thedetails of everything that I do there.
amazing.
I'll put the links in the show notes for everybody.
I will see you at the big festoon in March.
(43:44):
Super looking forward to that.
But just before we go, can we just explain because I absolutely love this, where the Belement comes to in your branding because I just think this story is beautiful.
So can you share that with everyone please?
thank you.
So, I mean, I love bees anyway.
And I love bees because there's lots of different things that bees do that really lenditself to how I feel about community.
(44:06):
So everybody within the hive, every bee within the hive has a job and every job is reallyimportant.
There's not one job more important than the other.
Everything is for the good of the hive, right?
Which sounds a little bit like communism, but please don't like get like, I'm not gettinginto politics.
It's a romantic idea.
like it.
Also,
When bees find patches of flowers, good patches of flowers, they will come back to thehive and via the medium of dance, no less, Claire, they will communicate with the other
(44:38):
bees where the good flowers is.
They don't over farm either.
They litmus test and they make sure that they don't over farm a particular patch offlowers.
They will let it replenish and go to a different one.
So they do lots of really cool things.
When they're building something new, they link arms and they festoon.
That's where the big festoon comes from.
When I say I am the queen bee, it's actually nothing to do with me being the queen bee.
(45:00):
It's me being audacious and hopefully encouraging and inviting other people to beaudacious.
But where it really comes from is when I was homeless, on the other side of beinghomeless, I was safe.
I was watching the bee movie with my kids.
They were little at the time.
And there's this phrase, this quote right at the beginning saying aerodynamically beesshouldn't be able to fly.
(45:20):
Their little wings shouldn't get their fat little bodies off the ground and the beedoesn't care what humans think is impossible, the bee flies anyway.
And that really is the heart of everything that I do is that whatever it is that'shappened, wherever it is that you've been, where you're going is your choice and your
decision and you get to fly anyway.
Just love it.
Honestly, every time you share it, I just think it's the most beautiful story.
(45:43):
Dani, thank you so much for joining us today, for being the Queen Bee and for doingeverything that you are doing.
It's an amazing, amazing journey that you are on.
And I'm very privileged to be on it with you.
So thank you to all our listeners for sticking with us this week.
And I will speak to you all next time.
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