August 25, 2024 • 49 mins
Hey there, friends! 🌟 In this episode of The Brothers Grail, we're diving deep into some wild biblical drama. Ever heard of Joseph and his fancy Technicolor tunic? Well, he's about to get into some serious sibling rivalry! 😲
We'll take you through Jacob's rollercoaster family dynamics, a plot twist with a mysterious veiled woman, and a shocking side of God's wrath. You won't believe the scams, dreams, and divine interventions we've got in store for you today. Buckle up, it's going to be a bumpy ride! 🚀
Join us and see why sometimes, truth is stranger than fiction. Don't miss out on this epic tale of betrayal, dreams, and unexpected turns. Let's get biblical! 📜✨
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
The Brothers Grail acknowledges the Bindal and Wulgurukuba people of North Queensland
and the Wurundjeri people of Melbourne, the traditional owners of the land we record on today.
We pay our respects to Elders past, present and future.
We also recognise that Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders have been custodians
of the land, rivers and seas for at least 65,000 years and were the first storytellers.
(00:26):
Music.
Yeah,
hey, hey, hey, here we are again, the Brothers Grail. My name is Quindog.
I am your Bible reader, and I'll be reading the Bible to my Nimrod brothers, the Captain and Caban.
(00:49):
Hello, Captain. How are you today? I'm good, mate.
Oven Life. It's a beautiful Sunday. We're actually doing a biblical recording on a Sunday today.
Does that make you feel? Yeah, and it's technically morning,
which we're planning to go a bit earlier, but is it still the earliest we've done it?
Yes, I do think it is, unless the great Kabevan, hello Kabevan,
(01:11):
unless you disagree with that.
I reckon we're pretty close to, because I don't know if you remember,
but the very first one in Melbourne was a midday recording as well. So it could be close.
Yeah, very possible. Was it a Sunday? I don't think it was a Sunday,
though. It was a midweek.
Who fucking knows? Very riveting. So I don't think that matters to anybody who's
listening. So we'll move on.
(01:31):
Unless there's anything exciting in anyone's life that you want to tell me about?
No, let me interrupt. I've got something exciting in my life.
Motherfucking useful charts. They have a roll. Oh, boy. And you haven't seen them yet, Captain.
But maybe at some point, Kevin can aim his phone at them and show you.
You might be able to see them in the background of my video.
(01:51):
They're laying on the bed trying to be flattened out by some books.
And so, one of the charts is the beautiful genealogy.
It starts with Adam and Eve and then goes to Cain and Seth and all that sort
of stuff. So, we now have a reference that from time to time we can jump in
and have a little look so that we lie less regularly.
Nice. Less regularly. Less regularly. And never deliberately, but less regularly.
(02:14):
So, with that, I reckon we proceed, but we might quickly recap on the last episode
in which we have chapters 33, 34, and 35.
Now, if you remember, Jacob was sort of at the start of it. Israel.
(02:35):
Well, it still jumped back and forth, but okay, Israel. All right, fuck.
All right, Israel. Israel was still heading back because he had only just wrestled
prior to the start of the last thing. So yeah, you're right. He was Israel.
So Israel was heading back to Canaan still and he bumped into his big brother,
Esau, and was fucking terrified, if you remember.
(02:57):
So he split up and he gave the kids to each of the mum and then he sent the
maidservant mums first.
Then he sent Leah, then he sent Rachel. So it was all in order of who he loved
best or liked best. Yeah.
And we sort of thought that he was sending them to the walls,
but he ended up going first. So we sort of, we had to eat our words on that one.
(03:19):
And, but instead when they bumped into each other, we thought SEL was going to fuck him up.
But SEL just gave him a big cuddle, kissed him on the neck and they wept.
Then for a little while, they sort of bragged to each other about how much stuff
that they both had until they sort of just parted and went their own ways.
Then Jacob moved to some place and he bought some land and he built a house.
(03:42):
But then when I reread, it just then straight away went to him moving again.
And so he moved to that place called Shechem, if you remember,
and he pitched a tent near Shechem.
That's where Dinah got violated.
And when Israel Jacob heard about it, he went to work and he smoothed over relations
with Shechem by making the violator. and all of the men of Shechem cut their
(04:06):
dick skin off. Remember?
That was how they decided. Smooth diplomatic work. Yes.
Could not forget that. Some modern diplomacy in that fashion would probably
solve some world problems.
So that was their treaty. But when Jacob slash Israel thought that was all done
and dusted, remember Levi and Simeon, they were like, nah, we're going to take advantage.
(04:30):
And I realised later that we missed a really good opportunity for purple-headed
soldier jokes, little purple-headed warrior jokes at that point.
So, you know, you can't get them all. You can't catch them all.
So, they went and took out that army of purple-headed soldiers while they were recovering.
Swore the whole town, stole all their shit, took a heap of women and kids as slaves.
(04:53):
That was that little part. Then they just ran away and God somehow protected them.
If you remember, they ran away and no one came out for a minute.
Everyone was scared of the God's wrath if they come against him.
Well, they killed all the men.
That wasn't God. But there's other towns around here.
I think that's what they implied. No other towns came. That's,
(05:15):
I think, what they implied there. Yeah.
So then God really quickly jumped back into the story, and he reaffirmed at
that point that Jacob's name was now Israel because you remember that?
It was still Jacob, Jacob, Jacob, and then it was Israel again.
Then toward the end of where we got to, Rachel ended up having one last kid.
(05:39):
She named it Benjamin, and she died.
She died. So that was the end of Rachel.
Then Reuben got to know Stepmum Biller. They just dropped that in there,
if you remember. Oh, I forgot about that.
He just fucking, I don't know, mandraked up or whatever happened,
happened and and uh and he got to know biller and then that was sort of the
(06:01):
end of that it was sort of a weird which i looked up before if you refer to your chart,
kabevin billers it was like gad and asher asher or some shit anyway.
And then Israel went back to Isaac, and Isaac died.
Yeah. Because we didn't think Isaac was already dead, but then he just popped
up again a few random times. Just in time to die.
(06:24):
You know how they used to hang people or whatever to show how gruesome they
were so armies wouldn't go against them? Like, we're fearsome. You don't want to.
How scary would it be if you found a heap of dead guys with their dicks cut off?
I'm not fucking with that army. You're spinning and just heading back the other way. Yeah.
Did they take the women and children, or the women and girls?
(06:48):
Because we assume they killed the small boys as well.
They definitely took the women and children. I don't know about the boys.
I don't know. I guess who cares? If you just take some boys,
you can put them in the... Well, the boys are dead, I thought.
I don't know. Yeah, maybe. They didn't say one way or another, I feel.
Yeah. So let's assume that all the boys are dead too.
So that was the last one. So really, really quickly, we're going to try to get
(07:09):
through chapter 36. 37, 36, 37, and 38 today.
And just as a real quick preview, whatever, dot point preview,
one of these chapters is the worst genealogy chapter yet. Oh, no.
Thank you. I have a method that I will try to run through quickly.
(07:31):
Could you just spend some time going over the charts?
You'd rather us just do a review of the charts. Yeah. Yeah, just for a few, not this time.
You've done some good prep this time, but maybe next time just like a lecture
on the genealogy rather than the Bible's version.
I'm okay with that because I'm showing everyone my charts. Everyone who's willing
to listen, I'll be showing them the charts.
(07:53):
So, yeah, the worst genealogy chapter yet. Then there becomes some interesting
stuff starts happening.
There's some brother's rift going on and some trickery that goes on.
God gets angry in a sort of a strange –.
Bang, bang, bang way. And there's a woman's scam that's good? Question mark?
(08:16):
Okay. So that's what we've got to look forward to. I don't know.
Do you care for any guesses?
Well, I was thinking, just as you went through that little run through,
that at the moment, the only consequences for what Levi and Simeon did was a stern talking to.
And it was more so about maybe that's where there might be a bit of rifting is like,
(08:42):
they probably should face more consequences than
because killing an entire town full of people have just cut their dick tips
off is bad is that what you're saying yes especially if we're going with the
theory that they killed like any male including like babies and shit all right
so you're You're saying they get a little talking to, all right?
(09:02):
Well, no, beyond, like, a little, probably still not very much,
but a little bit more of a consequence than a stern talking to.
Like, you did bad, but not that bad.
Town, can't complain too much. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, they ran away from that town.
They just escaped that town, I think. Yeah, well, what I'm saying is,
because Israel just said to them,
what have yous done? Now people will hate us. This was not a good thing to do.
(09:27):
I think more has to come from doing the slaughter than just that little bit of talking.
Yeah, he didn't really go and point out, you've just murdered a whole heap of
innocent people whom we just made
friends with, and dads and brothers and uncles, and you've stolen them.
He's like, what did you say he said to? Like, you've made them angry with us.
(09:48):
You've made the other towns angry. That's all he was concerned about.
Jacob Israel, he's also a bit of a shithead, hey? Yeah. Anyway.
They did it in a cowardly way too, as we pointed out, with them all recovering from their dick wounds.
So we're going to jump into the worst genealogy chapter yet.
Oh, it's the first one. It is, but we're going to get through it very, very quickly.
(10:12):
So what I've done is I've actually pre-recorded myself reading it.
I probably will not force our
wonderful meat sacrifice listeners to listen to the entire thing but I'm going
to make you boys listen to the whole thing but I'm going to play it back at
fast pace double speed yeah yeah so I think it took me five minutes to record
oh sorry it takes me five minutes to read but we get through it in three minutes
(10:35):
so without any further ado,
brothers grail kabevin and the captain this is chapter 36 feel free to interrupt if you need to.
Now this is the genealogy of Esau who is Edom. Esau took his wives from the
daughters of Ahadah, the daughter of Eon the Hittite, Aholibamah,
(10:55):
the daughter of Anna, the daughter of Zibion the Hivite, and Basemath,
Ishmael's daughter, sister of Nebuchadnezzar. He was born to him in the land of Canaan.
These were the sons of Adar, Esau's wife. These were the sons of Reuel,
(11:15):
Nahath, Zerah, Shammah, and Mizar.
These were the sons of Basemath, Esau's wife. These were the sons of Aholibamah,
Esau's wife, the daughter of Basemath, Esau's wife.
And these were the sons of Aholibamah, Esau's wife, chief Juesh,
chief Jelam, chief Korah.
These were the chiefs who descended from Aholibamah, Esau's wife and daughter of Anna.
These were the sons of Isar and Dishan. These were the chiefs of the world,
the sons of Seir, in the line of Eden.
(11:36):
And the sons of Lotan, where Hori, Hemim, Lotan's sister was Timna.
These were the sons of Shobor. Elvin, Manahath, Ebel, Shepard Does this take us to the current day?
Both Azhar and Anna This was Anna who found the water in the wilderness These
were the chiefs of the Horites According to their chiefs in the land of Sia
Now these were the kings who reigned in the land of Eden Before any king similar
of Maschra reigned in his place And when Simeon died Saul of Rehoboth The poor
(11:59):
chart cunts that had to really study the Lord,
Reigned in his place And when Baal-Hanaz Chief Kenzaz Chief Temen Chief Mizbah
Chief Migdiel And Chief Imran These were the chiefs of Edom according to their
dwelling places in the land of their possession.
Esau was the father of the Edomites. End scene.
Oh, mate. So two things I take. I want to, can you do a count of how many people were in that later?
(12:23):
Yeah, I'm happy to. But part of the reason that it really spun me out is there's
not as many people as it sounded like.
They just keep saying the same people over and over and over.
Oh, right. I thought I noticed a few names repeat. pete
and i just thought they were just uncles and stuff
with different names i think it listed
them as just children then it listed them as chiefs for
(12:46):
some reason then it listed them again so it did their whole
generation's life in one chapter
it's like this is a whole existence i think i'd
have to read it again to really understand would you
want to no oh fuck i read it four times this morning
and i nearly fucking just was there that i
could be wrong because obviously it was planned
(13:07):
pretty fast and it was boring but did i
hear it say something about sl and then therefore well so sl was known as like
he got a name change halfway through he no he didn't get a name change it's
it says this is the genealogy of sl who is edom whatever that means so yeah okay yeah i thought
(13:29):
that was a bit weird and then also we're big
SL fans yes and then was that was the
genealogy of SL so SL gets
the worst chapter ever yeah poor
SL like yeah and do we now go into a time jump or was that just like a boring
unnecessary side tangent well it's I think it just sort of closes out SL because
(13:54):
now we move on to Jacob and his family I think so SL's just full gone now we've
The conflict's been resolved with a bit of cuddles and weeping.
Agreed that they've both owned a lot of stuff and now
he's done i don't know he might come back in but
he's certainly not a main person at all it's it's all
about jacob and his israel and his kids now so so that was i want to make that
(14:17):
a prediction is that they at least once still refer to him as jacob oh yeah
i reckon yeah yeah i can promise it it's it's so fucking yeah they're not consistent in that regard at all.
So, I'm not sure. They were with everyone else, though. Like,
they never accidentally called Abraham, Abram again.
Yeah, that's true. Yeah, I don't remember. Or Sarah Sarai again. That never happened.
(14:41):
But I guess they didn't get wrestled for a name change and then needed a confirmation
of the name change either.
So, he got his name changed in the best possible way and it just didn't stick, I guess.
I don't know. so i'm not sure i'm gonna have to edit that together somehow and
make that make a little bit of sense i do did appreciate that little bit of
(15:02):
laughter over the top when he was like is this still going what the fuck is
going when you gave us the halfway point note.
Couldn't believe it you should probably load that whole unedited thing up on
facebook i think it's too long i don't know if i can maybe i should yeah i'll
try and if anyone gets through it part Part one, part two, part three.
(15:25):
It's a trilogy, mate. If anyone gets through it, I offer them a prize of some description.
This leads towards my theory, too, of they're rich.
For them to have chiefs and all this sort of stuff, I feel like they're not
poor in this life. They've got a bit of land.
Yeah, and that's why Jacob and Essie are parted again because they're so rich,
(15:46):
too much stuff. We can't be in the same area.
So anyway, that may never ever happen again. Again, the quick double-speed re-record
thing, and obviously the technology wasn't real great there,
so we'll have to sort that out later.
It says here, in Hebrew, Edom is a place that is land south and southeast of Palestine.
So maybe that's just where he was. Yeah, maybe.
(16:08):
Yeah, okay, so that's Esau's world. I wonder if there's many red,
hairy people down there. Yeah.
So if yous are happy, which I think yous are, let's move on to Chapter 37.
(16:30):
Now, Jacob dwelt in the land where his father was a stranger,
in the land of Canaan. This is the story of Jacob.
Joseph, which was one of the kids...
Joseph being 17 years old, so they don't do that very often.
They've just told us exactly how old he is, was feeding the flock with his brothers.
(16:51):
And the lad was with the sons of Billa and the sons of Zilpah, his father's wives.
And Joseph brought bad news of them to his father. So he's just going to go
and dob on them for some reason, right?
Now, Israel loved Joseph more than all his children because he was the son of his old age.
(17:11):
Also, he made him a tunic of many colors.
Did they start this chapter by calling him Jacob and then halfway through start calling him Israel?
Correct. Yes. Okay. I didn't even. That's cool.
It happened immediately.
Luke reckons, or the captain reckons at least one time. First word.
(17:32):
No luck. No, straight into it.
So, yeah. So, Joseph's his favorite. it says when he's in his old age,
but I think Benjamin is the young, like he was oldest when Benjamin came about. So I'm not sure.
I can't remember where Joseph lands in the line, but he must be towards the youngest.
So dad made him a tunic of many colors. But when his brothers saw that their
(17:57):
father loved him more than all
his brothers, they hated him and could not speak Speak peaceably to him.
Now Joseph dreamed a dream, and he told it to his brothers, and they hated him even more.
So he said to them, I was going to try to do a posh kid's voice.
I don't know if I can. Oh, daddy. Yeah, something like that. Yeah.
(18:18):
Please hear this dream which I have dreamed. So he's talking to his brothers here.
There we were, binding sheaves in the field.
Then behold, my sheaf arose. rose, my sheaf arose and also stood upright.
And indeed your sheaves stood all around and bowed down to my sheaf. Right?
(18:42):
Do you understand what's going on there? So to be clear, a sheaf is like a bundle of.
Hay or wheat you know like like it's a round bundle sort
of wrapped up that's called a sheaf i looked that up i wasn't i'm not
yeah i was thinking you might have been saying sheep no
like i convinced myself that it had to have
been sheep but this makes less sense than a sheep so that would have been a
(19:03):
bit weird if his sheep arouse but no his sheaf arose so the dream is obviously
saying his he he was his sheaf and then all of his brother's sheafs bowed to
him as in and he's the main dude, right?
So that's his dream. No wonder they hated him.
And his brothers said to him, shall you indeed reign over us or shall you indeed have dominion over us?
(19:29):
So they hated him even more for his dreams and for his words.
Then he dreamed still another dream and told it to his brothers.
Keep it to yourself, mate.
And he said, what was the voice again? Look, Daddy, look, I have dreamed another dream.
(19:49):
And this time the sun, the moon, and the 11 stars bowed down to me.
So I think he's tossing in mum and dad now, bowing down. So the 11 stars are
his brothers, I think, but the sun and the moon must be his mum and dad.
Sorry, quick question. Joseph is one of the sons of the hot wife? I don't know.
(20:09):
The barren one, unbarren? Kebevin would have to quickly look at the chart,
which is a little too far away.
Benjamin, I think, was the first son of the hot wife, I think.
Benjamin was the very last son, and it was to the hot wife, yes. Yeah.
Kebevin's looking it up. Listed in order from oldest to youngest.
Reuben, Simeon, Levi, Judah, Dan...
(20:32):
Gad, Arsha, Izzaka, Zeblin, Joseph, and Benjamin. Okay.
I think he's the first son of the hot one. I reckon that'd be- Yeah, I think you're right.
I think you're right. So, yeah. The only other ones also just didn't have normal-
Like, they had not normal names or whatever.
Or Ruben was cool. But then Joseph and Benjamin were pretty normal.
(20:54):
So, yeah, I think- Yeah, so he's the second youngest.
And I've got to chip you, Kabevan. you're looking up the interwebs
and not looking at my fucking charts so yeah they're
buried under five books and a dog man give me
a break all right noted i'm gonna address my charts positioning somehow so so
yeah the the sun the moon and the 11 stars bowed down to me so he told it to
(21:18):
his father and his brothers and his father rebuked him and said to him What
is this dream that you have dreamed?
Shall your mother and I and your brothers indeed come to bow down to the earth before you?
And his brothers envied him, but his father kept the matter in mind.
(21:39):
That strong man, Jacob, Israel. Probably considering forcing him to cut some more skin off his dick.
I've wrestled God, little punk. Don't come at me with them fucking...
Your son won't bow down to you. I wrestle with gods.
Luke Nalda, by the way. Sons of Rachel are Joseph and Benjamin.
Yeah, I actually followed Kabevan's idea and I did a Google.
(22:03):
And I Googled, was Joseph the son of the hot wife in the past?
And top answer was Joseph was about 17 at the time and was the son of Jacob's
wife, Rachel, who was described as a beautiful woman.
It confirmed a few things there that she was the hot wife and that that joseph
was the son and that that's the top answer by the way that was the very very
(22:25):
first thing so we we're not having original thoughts here is what we're learning,
uh well i it actually auto filled in in the bible for me okay okay and the brothers
envied him but but jacob kept the matter in mind then his brothers went to feed
their father's flock in In Shechem, which I found a bit weird.
So, the sons are going straight back to Shechem, which is the slaughterhouse.
(22:50):
Right. Yeah. And they've still got a flock there. So, they fled,
but they kept the town. They own that shit still.
A bit scammy, you know, like they pretended to leave, but then they just went
back and took it. Went back and, yeah, claimed it all. Well,
I guess there's no men there to stop them. Anyway.
So, yeah, Shechem. Come straight back in with no further explanation as to why
they get to go back to Shechem.
And Israel said to Joseph, so once again, they've just, they called him Jacob a second ago.
(23:15):
Israel said to Joseph, are you, are not your brothers feeding the flock in Shechem?
Come, I will send you to them. He said to him, daddy, here I am.
I had to say daddy again to get me back in the thing. So the actual line is,
here I am. I'd love to know how many here I am's there have been in the Bible so far.
(23:37):
Then he said to him, please go and see if it is well with your brothers and
well with the flocks and bring back word to me.
So he sent him out of the valley of Hebron and he went to Shechem.
Now a certain man fanned him and there he was wandering in the field.
And the man asked him, saying, What are you seeking?
(24:02):
I'm trying to be mystical. Because this man just never gets explained. What are you seeking?
So he said, Daddy, I am seeking my brothers.
Please tell me where they are feeding their flocks. And the man said,
They have departed from here.
For I heard them say, Let us go to Dothan.
So Joseph went after his brothers and found them in Dothan.
(24:25):
That man never gets mentioned again he's an
angel could have been an angel sorry was that you missed this
look because you're not here but colin does like the finger
thing this whenever he says the mystical
voice and then i said that he's going
to do something yeah i have to i have to add
a bit yeah otherwise it doesn't stick in my brain
(24:47):
now i think they're talking about the brothers now so
it says now when they saw him afar afar
off even before he came near to them
they conspired against him to kill him the mystic
guy i don't know this is the brothers the brothers are killing joseph he's
telling them all about how their sheaths are bound down to him
and the stars and stuff so they're like i'm killing this guy yeah
(25:10):
this dude this is intolerable it'd be a good
murder well we're gonna find out then they said
to one another look this dreamer is
coming come therefore let us now kill him and cast him into some pit and we
shall say some wild beast has devoured him we shall see what will become of
(25:31):
his dreams but but reuben heard it and he He delivered them out of their hands
and said, let us not kill him.
And Reuben said to them, shed no blood, but cast him into the pit,
which is in the wilderness, and do not lay a hand on him.
That he might deliver him out of their hands and bring him back to their father.
(25:53):
So he's done. Don't kill him. Just throw him in a hole and just leave him there.
Hopefully he dies, but we won't do it. But we didn't do it.
So, it came to pass when Joseph had come to his brothers that they stripped
Joseph of his tunic and the tunic of many colors that was on him.
Then they took him and cast him into a pit, and the pit was empty. There was no water in it.
(26:16):
So, obviously, it was maybe an old well, I don't know.
And they sat down to eat a meal. So, they took him to the pit to eat, to have a meal.
Then they lifted their eyes and looked, and there was a company of Ishmaelites
coming from Gilead with their camels bearing spices, balm, and myrrh on their
(26:36):
way to carry them down to Egypt.
So I think this is a group of Ishmael's descendants, maybe.
So Judah said to his brothers, what profit is there if we kill our brother and conceal his blood?
Come, let us sell him to the Ishmaelites, and let not our hand be upon him.
(26:59):
For he is our brother and our flesh.
And the brothers listened. So, you following what just happened?
They just sold their brother. Yeah, they threw him down a pit.
And then the king's scammer, who was that again? Judah.
He's like, boys, we can make some money here. from
a long line of scammers he's he's
(27:19):
gone in early it's so good so clever and he
is pretty intolerable say like joseph brothers i just would have thought levi
or simeon would have been the main bad brothers in this story like just add
some character development continue that on but they might just be the the beef
you know what i mean like they might like judah's the brains,
(27:41):
and they're just the we're just going in and crushing skulls they threw him
in the pit Yeah, they did the pit thrallin', yeah.
Sorry, just a quick thing as well. Is this Joseph, because they keep talking
about his many-coloured tunic, is he Joseph in the amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat?
(28:02):
Is that what that would be based on? Maybe. If it is, that's pretty cool. Maybe. I don't know.
I think I always knew that that had some biblical cool going on,
but I just assumed it was Jesus' fake dad.
I'm interested in Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat now, if that's what it is.
We'll find out if it's a good story soon. Well, we will. And could Bevan's tapping
(28:23):
away on the interwebs again?
I need a chart about biblical musicals.
Then the Midianite traders passed by, so the brothers pulled Joseph up and lifted
him out of the pit and sold him to the Ishmaelites for 20 shekels of silver,
and they took Joseph to Egypt.
(28:44):
Is that a good price? Is that even much money? Yeah. I don't know. A block of land was 400.
What did they get at a high price? They got 20 shekels of silver.
So, I don't know. It doesn't sound like much, does it? But for one of Jacob
slash Israel's children, I suppose they didn't know. They couldn't sell him as that, I guess.
(29:08):
He's just some weird cunt that dreams things and then brags about what he dreams.
Yeah. And this whole time he's like, my brothers, my brothers, what are you doing to me?
My brothers, you put me down a pit. Oh, I'm out of the pit. Oh,
thank you. Oh, hang on. Who are these men?
What's going on? I couldn't help but think that his dream about them bowing
(29:30):
down was them looking down the pit at him. It should have been. Yeah, yeah.
They're all looking down the pit and it looks bowing. It looks submissive.
Then Reuben returned to the pit and indeed Joseph was not in the pit and he tore his clothes.
So Reuben mustn't have been part. He must be the, maybe Reuben,
like similar to, who did we say, wouldn't it have been good if this person became
(29:53):
the main character because they actually seemed good?
And some other shit prick was. Maybe if Ruben became, like, if Ruben was the
main man, he seems very moral.
Are we just talking about SL? Maybe. I hope so. Yeah, maybe.
And indeed, Joseph was not in the pit and he tore his clothes.
So he's like, maybe out of frustration, like, no!
(30:14):
And he's tearing the colorful tunic up. And he returned to his brothers and said, the lad is no more.
I forget what I said for Reuben. The lad is no more.
And I, where shall I go? So I think he's feeling blamed.
So they took Joseph's tunic, killed the kid of the goats, and dipped the tunic in the blood.
(30:34):
So the scam is deepening. Then they sent the tunic of many colors that they
brought, sorry, and they brought it to their father and said, we have found this.
Do you know whether it is your son's tunic or not?
Right? They knew.
And he recognized it and said, it is my son's tunic. A wild beast has devoured him.
(31:01):
Without doubt, Joseph is torn to pieces. Then Jacob tore his clothes,
put sackcloth on his waist, and mourned for his son many days.
And all his sons and all his daughters arose to comfort him,
but he refused to be comforted.
And he said, For I shall go down into the grave to my son in mourning.
(31:24):
Thus his father wept for him. Now, the Midianites had sold him in Egypt to Potiphar,
an officer of Pharaoh and captain of the guard. So, he's gone.
So, that's the end of chapter 37.
Pretty wild. There's some drama going on, isn't there? Yeah.
I was worried Israel wasn't going to weep for his son after all the previous
(31:46):
weepings, but it came through. You thought he was running out of his tears?
No, I don't know. I just thought he would love his son enough to give a weeping,
considering the stolen kiss weep.
So, yeah, they've got to conclude this story somehow.
But they go off on a little side tangent. So, of all the shit things brothers
(32:09):
and sisters have done to each other, at least you didn't sell your sibling.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's put the bar up a little higher for everyone.
Yes, the Bible has given a few bad examples of what you can do to your brother.
Are they just going to rise up against the next brother that takes his place
as the next one that gets bowed to or whatever?
(32:32):
As long as he doesn't dream or if he keeps his dreams to himself.
Hey, just shut up, fucking hell. Tell everyone, Joseph, fucking hell,
stop being such a little telltale prick.
And wearing the brightest tunic
you could possibly wear just to draw even more attention to yourself.
Yeah, if he was in a sand-coloured tunic, he might have walked close enough
and overheard them talking about him before he got... But he's like, I was over the horizon.
(32:56):
He had some servants playing welcoming as he come over the hill.
For he is here in his technicolor tunic.
I kept the Arabian Nights singing in the last episode too. You'll be glad to know. Lovely.
(33:17):
That's just what this needed. All right, so we'll move on to chapter 38.
Oh, it's a chapter. Oh, not any chapter.
It came to pass at that time that Judah departed from his brothers and visited
(33:39):
a certain Adalamite whose name was Hira.
So Judah, I'm not sure who Judah's the kid of. And Judah saw there a daughter
of a certain Canaanite whose name was Shua, and he married her and went into her. Okay?
So we follow so far? Yeah. Yeah, I'm pretty sure Judah's just another one of
(34:00):
the sons, isn't he? Just one of the early ones from the less good wife.
Or one of the servants. Yeah, the less good wife's third son. Is Leah.
Yeah. So, Reuben, someone, then Judah. Oh, sorry, fourth. Okay.
Reuben, Simeon, Levi, Judah.
They're all shit except Reuben. Sounds that way.
(34:20):
And Judah saw their daughter of Canaanite, married her, and went into her.
So she conceived and bore a son, and he called his name Eah.
She conceived again and bore a son, and she called his name Onan.
And she conceived yet again and bore a son and called his name Shelah.
He was at Chezib when she bore him. So we follow so far three kids.
(34:46):
Yeah, they're pumping out the sons. Yeah.
Seems to be pretty prominent. Then Judah took a wife for Ur,
his firstborn, and her name was Tamar.
But Ur, Judah's firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the Lord, and the Lord killed him.
That's a direct murder from God.
(35:09):
He's leveled up from just making women barren. How old was this child when it was killed?
Yeah, how old was this kid? I don't know. It was just wicked.
It didn't explain how. It was old enough to take a wife.
So however old that was. This is like grandchild shit.
(35:29):
Like Israel's grandkid? Yes.
Just got killed by God. God just was like, you're no good.
God has never done a direct murder before. He's done the flood.
But he hasn't just killed someone.
I wonder how he did it. Did he, like lightning or whatever? I wonder what he did.
(35:50):
Just stopped him from breathing and he- Sickness. Sickness? Random sickness. Yeah, okay.
All right, so we're following so far. So three kids, first kid got married to
Tamar. God didn't like him, killed him, okay?
And Judah, dad, said to Onan, who's the second son, go into your brother's wife
and marry her and raise up an heir to your brother.
(36:14):
Yeah? Sick. I'm thinking maybe Judah did the killing because he just wanted
the one son to do all the going into.
And he just said it was God. He wasn't a fan of her. And he's like,
you know what? Nah. Yeah.
Replacing you with your brother. Yeah. Well, we don't know. As far as we know,
it was God. We can't just make up that it was Judah.
(36:34):
So, all right. So, we're following so far. So, married Tamar,
got slaughtered by God. dad judah said to onan the second son go into your brother's
wife and create an heir okay.
And the thing which he did displeased... Oh, hang on.
Oh, sorry. I nearly skipped it there. And raise up an heir to your brother.
(36:56):
But Onan knew that the heir would not be his.
And it came to pass that when he went into his brother's wife,
that he omitted on the ground, lest he would give an heir to his brother.
Still going to get some sex, but no babies for you. Oh, my God. So, wait.
(37:17):
And they're recording. So he's not going to make the air. So who's making the air?
Well, he was supposed to. He was supposed to make the air, but he's like,
no, fuck that, because then it'll still be called Ur's air for some reason. I don't know why that is.
Yeah, because I was waiting for it to be, but she was already pregnant.
But no, he just came on the ground. He just came on the ground,
(37:39):
yeah. He did the pull-out method.
Yeah. Well-established, successfully used technique, that one.
And the thing which he did Displeased the lord Therefore he killed him also.
Pull out method is Not approved by god You gotta fill the vagina with the seed
(38:01):
Otherwise See ya Killing all the men in a town,
That's good Maybe don't do that you'll make some people hate us It's just bad
because people don't like it Do not pull out of your brother's house Holy fuck.
Which, by the way, if he didn't want to have sex with her, that's pretty gross being forced into that.
(38:24):
Yes. But he did. He had the sex. Yeah. Yeah, but he didn't necessarily want
to. But maybe he did. We don't know.
He was trying to demonstrate that she was barren and less worthy,
probably, really. Oh, yeah.
Now who's the one making up the story? Yeah, true.
I'm Queen God. I can do what I want. Yeah, fair enough. It's in my Bible.
I could be reading you as whatever. I could be making all this shit up, really.
(38:47):
I'm not that inventive. This is so fucking strange. So he killed him all.
So there's one brother left, and it was Sheila.
Okay, so we move on. Then Judah said to Tamar, his daughter-in-law,
who he's now previously given to two of his sons.
He said to Tamar, his daughter-in-law, remain a widow in your father's house
(39:10):
till my son Sheila is grown.
Own so yeah so go back to your dad's house and wait until i can give you to my other son,
for he said lest he also die like his brothers and tamar went and dwelt in her
father's house now in the process of time the daughter of shua judah's wife
(39:34):
died so there must have been a
daughter that they didn't talk about. Yeah.
And Judah was comforted and went up to his sheep shearers at Timnah and his
friend Hira, the Adolamite, right?
So all they're saying there, I think, is his daughter died, he got sad,
and he's like, I've got to go and sheep, shear some sheep to make myself feel a bit better.
(39:55):
And he took his mate Hira with him. Hira! Sick.
And it was told Tamar, the widow, It was told to Ma saying, look,
your father-in-law is going up to Timnah to shear his sheep.
So, she took off her widow's garments, covered herself.
So, there's a widow's uniform, which sounds pretty fucking creepy too.
(40:19):
She took off her widow's garments, covered herself with a veil and wrapped herself
and sat in an open place, which was on the way to Timnah.
For she saw that Sheila was grown and she was not given to him as a wife.
Yeah. So she's a bit annoyed. So Sheila's grown up and Judah has not gone,
(40:39):
Tamar, we need you to come and, you know,
Yeah, so is she trying to get to Sheila, or is she just opening herself up for any man?
Oh, we're about to find out. I unfortunately know the answer here.
You're still looking up the interwebs, Kabevin.
(40:59):
God is going to kill her. It's so good. No, it's worse.
Kabevin's cheated, Captain, and I'm going to have to... It took me...
The whole time you were talking, I was trying to figure this out because it didn't make sense to me.
But now it does. If I was God, you'd be killed right now.
Yeah, look, my bad. I'll stop doing that. So, yeah, she's up waiting on the
(41:22):
road or whatever, right?
When Judah saw her, he thought she was a harlot because she had covered her face.
Then he turned to her, by the way, and said, please, let me come into you.
Wait, who said this? Sorry, I missed the name. Judah, the dad. Oh, no. No.
Yeah. So he was polite. He's polite. He's like, hey, harlot. Yeah.
(41:44):
Please let me come into you. For he did not know that she was his daughter-in-law.
So she said, what will you give me that you may come into me?
And he said, I will send you a young goat from the flock.
So she's part of the family. She's a scammer from way back. Yes.
(42:09):
Where am I? From the flock. So, she said, will you give me a pledge till you
send it? Because obviously he doesn't have a goat with him at the time.
And he said, what pledge shall I give you?
So, she said, your signet and cord and your staff that is in your hand.
Then he gave them to her and went in her.
And she conceived by him. Okay? Yeah.
(42:34):
So, this is all happening on the side of the road as far as I can tell.
I assume in a shack on the side of the road.
Maybe she pitched a tent, maybe? I don't know.
I don't know. I'm just imagining two blokes heading up to the sheep shearer
shed, just having a chat, and they see this hot chick on the side of the road,
completely veiled, I guess, so they don't even know.
And she's like, please, I'm feeling an inkling.
(42:57):
Please, can I fuck you?
And she's like, yeah, just give me some shit. And he went, okay.
And I just think they're on the side of the road or under a tree or something.
Maybe it's like the red light district or whatever She's a lady of the night,
And that's the costume you wear Is a bit of a veil or whatever He said he thought
she was a harlot And that's what made him go up and talk to her.
(43:20):
So, that's happened. He's gotten to know her. And then it says,
so she arose and went away and laid aside her veil and put on the garments of
her widowhood. So, she's back home, back to normal.
And Judah sent a young goat by the hand of his friend, the Adalamite,
hurrah, to receive his pledge from the woman's hand, but he did not find her.
(43:44):
Yeah, she's not just hanging on the side of the road anymore.
No, in a veil. I like that he honoured this. He'd come back looking for the
harlot to give her this goat.
He'll fuck a harlot, but he's going to honour his pledge. Or he wants his staff
and his cord or whatever back.
But she's still got the staff and the cord, so she's done some pretty fucking
(44:08):
good scamming right now.
She has, she has. And it continues. It says, then he asked the men of that place,
saying, this could be a henchman, I guess, where is the harlot?
Who was openly by the roadside. And they said, there was no harlot in this place.
So he returned to Judah and said, I cannot find her.
(44:29):
Also, the men of this place said there was no harlot in this place.
Then Judah said, let her take them for herself.
Let her take them for herself, lest we be shamed.
For I sent this young goat and you have not found her. I really don't I know what that means.
And it came to pass about three months after that Judah was told saying to Ma,
(44:53):
your daughter-in-law has now played the harlot.
Furthermore, she is with child by harlotry. So at some point,
someone's found out that she was banging someone on the side of the road,
but no one knows any more than that.
So, Judah said, bring her out and let her be burned. Holy fuck. Fucking hell.
(45:13):
I didn't see it going that way. Well, he doesn't know any more than she's just been a harlot.
She was told to be a damn widow, and she's gone and been a harlot.
She's been a harlot. We're going to burn her.
Which is fine for him to bang a harlot. She's going to have this.
It's not fine for her to be a harlot.
She's going to have the staff and the cord, and she's going to present them
at the last possible fucking moment. Oh, I hope so. Like, burn me,
(45:37):
burn your baby, and give me my goat.
Where's my goat, bitch? When she was brought out, she sent to her father-in-law,
saying, By the man to whom these belong, I am with child, Captain.
So I think, yeah. And she said, Please determine whose these are,
(46:02):
the signet and cord and staff.
Half so judah acknowledged them and said
she has been more righteous than
i because i did not give her to sheila my son so he's just regretting yeah hooking
up the marriage and he never knew her again very righteous yeah and he didn't
(46:25):
explain why he didn't give his kid to her though no he He just said, oh, I forgot, I suppose.
I was doing some other shit. Too busy banging chicks on the side of the road.
Now, it came to pass at the time for giving birth that, behold, twins were in her womb.
And so it was when she was giving birth that the one put out his hand and the
(46:51):
midwife took a scarlet thread and bound it on his hand, saying, this one came out first.
Because you've got to have your air. Got to know number one, yeah. Yeah.
He's the new Joseph. Then it happened, as he drew back his hand,
so he stuck his hand out giving birth. Look, this is a baby.
(47:12):
He's popped his little baby hand out. Tied a thing around it.
And then he's like, you ink.
He's tucked it back in the vagina, right? Does that count?
You know in the 100-meter sprint in running, the chest is the thing that matters?
Is it birthing whatever comes out is the winner first? Well,
I thought torso would be the first for that too.
(47:34):
Well, while I was reading this specific part, I realized this is the proof.
This little bit right here is the proof that this was written by men because
they have no idea how a birth...
Happened like they don't like a baby just doesn't poke its
fucking hand out you know oh i'm
sure i'm sure that must have happened at some point but that's not typically my
(47:56):
understanding is because i was at some births they don't come out like just
poke a hand out anyway then as it happened as he drew back his hand that his
brother came out unexpectedly and she said how did you break through this breach
be upon you therefore his name was called perez for some reason,
afterward his brother came out who had a
(48:16):
scarlet thread on his hand and his name was zera
so the baby scam baby scam straight
away yeah straight out of the womb that was the
end of that the sl jacobs was jacobs scam but like at birth yeah straight at
birth yeah yeah it was it wasn't a it was a fucking little scarlet maybe the
little baby was inside like no you don't yoink and pulled him back in like fuck
(48:39):
you they're already battling so that's where we are that's That's the end of
chapter 38. So how did that go for you, boys?
Beautiful. I was hoping that one of them was furry when it was announced they were twins.
We don't know yet. Maybe it was Perez or Zero or whatever. Yeah.
So I reckon I'm happy. I reckon we wrapped that up. That was a pretty good place to finish on.
(49:01):
Yeah. And we got shit to do because it's Sunday. We got to go and do some Sunday shit.
Yeah. So that was Brothers Grail chapter. The big chapter 13,
the number of the, I don't know, Black Friday, whatever. What? I don't know.
I think you confused us because it's like episode 13, but you're calling it chapter.
(49:25):
But then each episode we read multiple chapters. Oh, yeah. I have been calling
things chapter instead of episode. Yeah.
Anyway, that's on me. Thanks, Captain.
Cheers. Thanks, Kebevan. Please. It's been pleasant. Happy Sunday, everybody. Bye!
The Brothers Grail acknowledges the Bindal and Wulgurukuba people of North Queensland
and the Wurundjeri people of Melbourne, the traditional owners of the land we record on today.
We pay our respects to Elders past, present and future.
We also recognise that Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders have been custodians
of the land, rivers and seas for at least 65,000 years and were the first storytellers.
(00:26):
Music.
Yeah,
hey, hey, hey, here we are again, the Brothers Grail. My name is Quindog.
I am your Bible reader, and I'll be reading the Bible to my Nimrod brothers, the Captain and Caban.
(00:49):
Hello, Captain. How are you today? I'm good, mate.
Oven Life. It's a beautiful Sunday. We're actually doing a biblical recording on a Sunday today.
Does that make you feel? Yeah, and it's technically morning,
which we're planning to go a bit earlier, but is it still the earliest we've done it?
Yes, I do think it is, unless the great Kabevan, hello Kabevan,
(01:11):
unless you disagree with that.
I reckon we're pretty close to, because I don't know if you remember,
but the very first one in Melbourne was a midday recording as well. So it could be close.
Yeah, very possible. Was it a Sunday? I don't think it was a Sunday,
though. It was a midweek.
Who fucking knows? Very riveting. So I don't think that matters to anybody who's
listening. So we'll move on.
(01:31):
Unless there's anything exciting in anyone's life that you want to tell me about?
No, let me interrupt. I've got something exciting in my life.
Motherfucking useful charts. They have a roll. Oh, boy. And you haven't seen them yet, Captain.
But maybe at some point, Kevin can aim his phone at them and show you.
You might be able to see them in the background of my video.
(01:51):
They're laying on the bed trying to be flattened out by some books.
And so, one of the charts is the beautiful genealogy.
It starts with Adam and Eve and then goes to Cain and Seth and all that sort
of stuff. So, we now have a reference that from time to time we can jump in
and have a little look so that we lie less regularly.
Nice. Less regularly. Less regularly. And never deliberately, but less regularly.
(02:14):
So, with that, I reckon we proceed, but we might quickly recap on the last episode
in which we have chapters 33, 34, and 35.
Now, if you remember, Jacob was sort of at the start of it. Israel.
(02:35):
Well, it still jumped back and forth, but okay, Israel. All right, fuck.
All right, Israel. Israel was still heading back because he had only just wrestled
prior to the start of the last thing. So yeah, you're right. He was Israel.
So Israel was heading back to Canaan still and he bumped into his big brother,
Esau, and was fucking terrified, if you remember.
(02:57):
So he split up and he gave the kids to each of the mum and then he sent the
maidservant mums first.
Then he sent Leah, then he sent Rachel. So it was all in order of who he loved
best or liked best. Yeah.
And we sort of thought that he was sending them to the walls,
but he ended up going first. So we sort of, we had to eat our words on that one.
(03:19):
And, but instead when they bumped into each other, we thought SEL was going to fuck him up.
But SEL just gave him a big cuddle, kissed him on the neck and they wept.
Then for a little while, they sort of bragged to each other about how much stuff
that they both had until they sort of just parted and went their own ways.
Then Jacob moved to some place and he bought some land and he built a house.
(03:42):
But then when I reread, it just then straight away went to him moving again.
And so he moved to that place called Shechem, if you remember,
and he pitched a tent near Shechem.
That's where Dinah got violated.
And when Israel Jacob heard about it, he went to work and he smoothed over relations
with Shechem by making the violator. and all of the men of Shechem cut their
(04:06):
dick skin off. Remember?
That was how they decided. Smooth diplomatic work. Yes.
Could not forget that. Some modern diplomacy in that fashion would probably
solve some world problems.
So that was their treaty. But when Jacob slash Israel thought that was all done
and dusted, remember Levi and Simeon, they were like, nah, we're going to take advantage.
(04:30):
And I realised later that we missed a really good opportunity for purple-headed
soldier jokes, little purple-headed warrior jokes at that point.
So, you know, you can't get them all. You can't catch them all.
So, they went and took out that army of purple-headed soldiers while they were recovering.
Swore the whole town, stole all their shit, took a heap of women and kids as slaves.
(04:53):
That was that little part. Then they just ran away and God somehow protected them.
If you remember, they ran away and no one came out for a minute.
Everyone was scared of the God's wrath if they come against him.
Well, they killed all the men.
That wasn't God. But there's other towns around here.
I think that's what they implied. No other towns came. That's,
(05:15):
I think, what they implied there. Yeah.
So then God really quickly jumped back into the story, and he reaffirmed at
that point that Jacob's name was now Israel because you remember that?
It was still Jacob, Jacob, Jacob, and then it was Israel again.
Then toward the end of where we got to, Rachel ended up having one last kid.
(05:39):
She named it Benjamin, and she died.
She died. So that was the end of Rachel.
Then Reuben got to know Stepmum Biller. They just dropped that in there,
if you remember. Oh, I forgot about that.
He just fucking, I don't know, mandraked up or whatever happened,
happened and and uh and he got to know biller and then that was sort of the
(06:01):
end of that it was sort of a weird which i looked up before if you refer to your chart,
kabevin billers it was like gad and asher asher or some shit anyway.
And then Israel went back to Isaac, and Isaac died.
Yeah. Because we didn't think Isaac was already dead, but then he just popped
up again a few random times. Just in time to die.
(06:24):
You know how they used to hang people or whatever to show how gruesome they
were so armies wouldn't go against them? Like, we're fearsome. You don't want to.
How scary would it be if you found a heap of dead guys with their dicks cut off?
I'm not fucking with that army. You're spinning and just heading back the other way. Yeah.
Did they take the women and children, or the women and girls?
(06:48):
Because we assume they killed the small boys as well.
They definitely took the women and children. I don't know about the boys.
I don't know. I guess who cares? If you just take some boys,
you can put them in the... Well, the boys are dead, I thought.
I don't know. Yeah, maybe. They didn't say one way or another, I feel.
Yeah. So let's assume that all the boys are dead too.
So that was the last one. So really, really quickly, we're going to try to get
(07:09):
through chapter 36. 37, 36, 37, and 38 today.
And just as a real quick preview, whatever, dot point preview,
one of these chapters is the worst genealogy chapter yet. Oh, no.
Thank you. I have a method that I will try to run through quickly.
(07:31):
Could you just spend some time going over the charts?
You'd rather us just do a review of the charts. Yeah. Yeah, just for a few, not this time.
You've done some good prep this time, but maybe next time just like a lecture
on the genealogy rather than the Bible's version.
I'm okay with that because I'm showing everyone my charts. Everyone who's willing
to listen, I'll be showing them the charts.
(07:53):
So, yeah, the worst genealogy chapter yet. Then there becomes some interesting
stuff starts happening.
There's some brother's rift going on and some trickery that goes on.
God gets angry in a sort of a strange –.
Bang, bang, bang way. And there's a woman's scam that's good? Question mark?
(08:16):
Okay. So that's what we've got to look forward to. I don't know.
Do you care for any guesses?
Well, I was thinking, just as you went through that little run through,
that at the moment, the only consequences for what Levi and Simeon did was a stern talking to.
And it was more so about maybe that's where there might be a bit of rifting is like,
(08:42):
they probably should face more consequences than
because killing an entire town full of people have just cut their dick tips
off is bad is that what you're saying yes especially if we're going with the
theory that they killed like any male including like babies and shit all right
so you're You're saying they get a little talking to, all right?
(09:02):
Well, no, beyond, like, a little, probably still not very much,
but a little bit more of a consequence than a stern talking to.
Like, you did bad, but not that bad.
Town, can't complain too much. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, they ran away from that town.
They just escaped that town, I think. Yeah, well, what I'm saying is,
because Israel just said to them,
what have yous done? Now people will hate us. This was not a good thing to do.
(09:27):
I think more has to come from doing the slaughter than just that little bit of talking.
Yeah, he didn't really go and point out, you've just murdered a whole heap of
innocent people whom we just made
friends with, and dads and brothers and uncles, and you've stolen them.
He's like, what did you say he said to? Like, you've made them angry with us.
(09:48):
You've made the other towns angry. That's all he was concerned about.
Jacob Israel, he's also a bit of a shithead, hey? Yeah. Anyway.
They did it in a cowardly way too, as we pointed out, with them all recovering from their dick wounds.
So we're going to jump into the worst genealogy chapter yet.
Oh, it's the first one. It is, but we're going to get through it very, very quickly.
(10:12):
So what I've done is I've actually pre-recorded myself reading it.
I probably will not force our
wonderful meat sacrifice listeners to listen to the entire thing but I'm going
to make you boys listen to the whole thing but I'm going to play it back at
fast pace double speed yeah yeah so I think it took me five minutes to record
oh sorry it takes me five minutes to read but we get through it in three minutes
(10:35):
so without any further ado,
brothers grail kabevin and the captain this is chapter 36 feel free to interrupt if you need to.
Now this is the genealogy of Esau who is Edom. Esau took his wives from the
daughters of Ahadah, the daughter of Eon the Hittite, Aholibamah,
(10:55):
the daughter of Anna, the daughter of Zibion the Hivite, and Basemath,
Ishmael's daughter, sister of Nebuchadnezzar. He was born to him in the land of Canaan.
These were the sons of Adar, Esau's wife. These were the sons of Reuel,
(11:15):
Nahath, Zerah, Shammah, and Mizar.
These were the sons of Basemath, Esau's wife. These were the sons of Aholibamah,
Esau's wife, the daughter of Basemath, Esau's wife.
And these were the sons of Aholibamah, Esau's wife, chief Juesh,
chief Jelam, chief Korah.
These were the chiefs who descended from Aholibamah, Esau's wife and daughter of Anna.
These were the sons of Isar and Dishan. These were the chiefs of the world,
the sons of Seir, in the line of Eden.
(11:36):
And the sons of Lotan, where Hori, Hemim, Lotan's sister was Timna.
These were the sons of Shobor. Elvin, Manahath, Ebel, Shepard Does this take us to the current day?
Both Azhar and Anna This was Anna who found the water in the wilderness These
were the chiefs of the Horites According to their chiefs in the land of Sia
Now these were the kings who reigned in the land of Eden Before any king similar
of Maschra reigned in his place And when Simeon died Saul of Rehoboth The poor
(11:59):
chart cunts that had to really study the Lord,
Reigned in his place And when Baal-Hanaz Chief Kenzaz Chief Temen Chief Mizbah
Chief Migdiel And Chief Imran These were the chiefs of Edom according to their
dwelling places in the land of their possession.
Esau was the father of the Edomites. End scene.
Oh, mate. So two things I take. I want to, can you do a count of how many people were in that later?
(12:23):
Yeah, I'm happy to. But part of the reason that it really spun me out is there's
not as many people as it sounded like.
They just keep saying the same people over and over and over.
Oh, right. I thought I noticed a few names repeat. pete
and i just thought they were just uncles and stuff
with different names i think it listed
them as just children then it listed them as chiefs for
(12:46):
some reason then it listed them again so it did their whole
generation's life in one chapter
it's like this is a whole existence i think i'd
have to read it again to really understand would you
want to no oh fuck i read it four times this morning
and i nearly fucking just was there that i
could be wrong because obviously it was planned
(13:07):
pretty fast and it was boring but did i
hear it say something about sl and then therefore well so sl was known as like
he got a name change halfway through he no he didn't get a name change it's
it says this is the genealogy of sl who is edom whatever that means so yeah okay yeah i thought
(13:29):
that was a bit weird and then also we're big
SL fans yes and then was that was the
genealogy of SL so SL gets
the worst chapter ever yeah poor
SL like yeah and do we now go into a time jump or was that just like a boring
unnecessary side tangent well it's I think it just sort of closes out SL because
(13:54):
now we move on to Jacob and his family I think so SL's just full gone now we've
The conflict's been resolved with a bit of cuddles and weeping.
Agreed that they've both owned a lot of stuff and now
he's done i don't know he might come back in but
he's certainly not a main person at all it's it's all
about jacob and his israel and his kids now so so that was i want to make that
(14:17):
a prediction is that they at least once still refer to him as jacob oh yeah
i reckon yeah yeah i can promise it it's it's so fucking yeah they're not consistent in that regard at all.
So, I'm not sure. They were with everyone else, though. Like,
they never accidentally called Abraham, Abram again.
Yeah, that's true. Yeah, I don't remember. Or Sarah Sarai again. That never happened.
(14:41):
But I guess they didn't get wrestled for a name change and then needed a confirmation
of the name change either.
So, he got his name changed in the best possible way and it just didn't stick, I guess.
I don't know. so i'm not sure i'm gonna have to edit that together somehow and
make that make a little bit of sense i do did appreciate that little bit of
(15:02):
laughter over the top when he was like is this still going what the fuck is
going when you gave us the halfway point note.
Couldn't believe it you should probably load that whole unedited thing up on
facebook i think it's too long i don't know if i can maybe i should yeah i'll
try and if anyone gets through it part Part one, part two, part three.
(15:25):
It's a trilogy, mate. If anyone gets through it, I offer them a prize of some description.
This leads towards my theory, too, of they're rich.
For them to have chiefs and all this sort of stuff, I feel like they're not
poor in this life. They've got a bit of land.
Yeah, and that's why Jacob and Essie are parted again because they're so rich,
(15:46):
too much stuff. We can't be in the same area.
So anyway, that may never ever happen again. Again, the quick double-speed re-record
thing, and obviously the technology wasn't real great there,
so we'll have to sort that out later.
It says here, in Hebrew, Edom is a place that is land south and southeast of Palestine.
So maybe that's just where he was. Yeah, maybe.
(16:08):
Yeah, okay, so that's Esau's world. I wonder if there's many red,
hairy people down there. Yeah.
So if yous are happy, which I think yous are, let's move on to Chapter 37.
(16:30):
Now, Jacob dwelt in the land where his father was a stranger,
in the land of Canaan. This is the story of Jacob.
Joseph, which was one of the kids...
Joseph being 17 years old, so they don't do that very often.
They've just told us exactly how old he is, was feeding the flock with his brothers.
(16:51):
And the lad was with the sons of Billa and the sons of Zilpah, his father's wives.
And Joseph brought bad news of them to his father. So he's just going to go
and dob on them for some reason, right?
Now, Israel loved Joseph more than all his children because he was the son of his old age.
(17:11):
Also, he made him a tunic of many colors.
Did they start this chapter by calling him Jacob and then halfway through start calling him Israel?
Correct. Yes. Okay. I didn't even. That's cool.
It happened immediately.
Luke reckons, or the captain reckons at least one time. First word.
(17:32):
No luck. No, straight into it.
So, yeah. So, Joseph's his favorite. it says when he's in his old age,
but I think Benjamin is the young, like he was oldest when Benjamin came about. So I'm not sure.
I can't remember where Joseph lands in the line, but he must be towards the youngest.
So dad made him a tunic of many colors. But when his brothers saw that their
(17:57):
father loved him more than all
his brothers, they hated him and could not speak Speak peaceably to him.
Now Joseph dreamed a dream, and he told it to his brothers, and they hated him even more.
So he said to them, I was going to try to do a posh kid's voice.
I don't know if I can. Oh, daddy. Yeah, something like that. Yeah.
(18:18):
Please hear this dream which I have dreamed. So he's talking to his brothers here.
There we were, binding sheaves in the field.
Then behold, my sheaf arose. rose, my sheaf arose and also stood upright.
And indeed your sheaves stood all around and bowed down to my sheaf. Right?
(18:42):
Do you understand what's going on there? So to be clear, a sheaf is like a bundle of.
Hay or wheat you know like like it's a round bundle sort
of wrapped up that's called a sheaf i looked that up i wasn't i'm not
yeah i was thinking you might have been saying sheep no
like i convinced myself that it had to have
been sheep but this makes less sense than a sheep so that would have been a
(19:03):
bit weird if his sheep arouse but no his sheaf arose so the dream is obviously
saying his he he was his sheaf and then all of his brother's sheafs bowed to
him as in and he's the main dude, right?
So that's his dream. No wonder they hated him.
And his brothers said to him, shall you indeed reign over us or shall you indeed have dominion over us?
(19:29):
So they hated him even more for his dreams and for his words.
Then he dreamed still another dream and told it to his brothers.
Keep it to yourself, mate.
And he said, what was the voice again? Look, Daddy, look, I have dreamed another dream.
(19:49):
And this time the sun, the moon, and the 11 stars bowed down to me.
So I think he's tossing in mum and dad now, bowing down. So the 11 stars are
his brothers, I think, but the sun and the moon must be his mum and dad.
Sorry, quick question. Joseph is one of the sons of the hot wife? I don't know.
(20:09):
The barren one, unbarren? Kebevin would have to quickly look at the chart,
which is a little too far away.
Benjamin, I think, was the first son of the hot wife, I think.
Benjamin was the very last son, and it was to the hot wife, yes. Yeah.
Kebevin's looking it up. Listed in order from oldest to youngest.
Reuben, Simeon, Levi, Judah, Dan...
(20:32):
Gad, Arsha, Izzaka, Zeblin, Joseph, and Benjamin. Okay.
I think he's the first son of the hot one. I reckon that'd be- Yeah, I think you're right.
I think you're right. So, yeah. The only other ones also just didn't have normal-
Like, they had not normal names or whatever.
Or Ruben was cool. But then Joseph and Benjamin were pretty normal.
(20:54):
So, yeah, I think- Yeah, so he's the second youngest.
And I've got to chip you, Kabevan. you're looking up the interwebs
and not looking at my fucking charts so yeah they're
buried under five books and a dog man give me
a break all right noted i'm gonna address my charts positioning somehow so so
yeah the the sun the moon and the 11 stars bowed down to me so he told it to
(21:18):
his father and his brothers and his father rebuked him and said to him What
is this dream that you have dreamed?
Shall your mother and I and your brothers indeed come to bow down to the earth before you?
And his brothers envied him, but his father kept the matter in mind.
(21:39):
That strong man, Jacob, Israel. Probably considering forcing him to cut some more skin off his dick.
I've wrestled God, little punk. Don't come at me with them fucking...
Your son won't bow down to you. I wrestle with gods.
Luke Nalda, by the way. Sons of Rachel are Joseph and Benjamin.
Yeah, I actually followed Kabevan's idea and I did a Google.
(22:03):
And I Googled, was Joseph the son of the hot wife in the past?
And top answer was Joseph was about 17 at the time and was the son of Jacob's
wife, Rachel, who was described as a beautiful woman.
It confirmed a few things there that she was the hot wife and that that joseph
was the son and that that's the top answer by the way that was the very very
(22:25):
first thing so we we're not having original thoughts here is what we're learning,
uh well i it actually auto filled in in the bible for me okay okay and the brothers
envied him but but jacob kept the matter in mind then his brothers went to feed
their father's flock in In Shechem, which I found a bit weird.
So, the sons are going straight back to Shechem, which is the slaughterhouse.
(22:50):
Right. Yeah. And they've still got a flock there. So, they fled,
but they kept the town. They own that shit still.
A bit scammy, you know, like they pretended to leave, but then they just went
back and took it. Went back and, yeah, claimed it all. Well,
I guess there's no men there to stop them. Anyway.
So, yeah, Shechem. Come straight back in with no further explanation as to why
they get to go back to Shechem.
And Israel said to Joseph, so once again, they've just, they called him Jacob a second ago.
(23:15):
Israel said to Joseph, are you, are not your brothers feeding the flock in Shechem?
Come, I will send you to them. He said to him, daddy, here I am.
I had to say daddy again to get me back in the thing. So the actual line is,
here I am. I'd love to know how many here I am's there have been in the Bible so far.
(23:37):
Then he said to him, please go and see if it is well with your brothers and
well with the flocks and bring back word to me.
So he sent him out of the valley of Hebron and he went to Shechem.
Now a certain man fanned him and there he was wandering in the field.
And the man asked him, saying, What are you seeking?
(24:02):
I'm trying to be mystical. Because this man just never gets explained. What are you seeking?
So he said, Daddy, I am seeking my brothers.
Please tell me where they are feeding their flocks. And the man said,
They have departed from here.
For I heard them say, Let us go to Dothan.
So Joseph went after his brothers and found them in Dothan.
(24:25):
That man never gets mentioned again he's an
angel could have been an angel sorry was that you missed this
look because you're not here but colin does like the finger
thing this whenever he says the mystical
voice and then i said that he's going
to do something yeah i have to i have to add
a bit yeah otherwise it doesn't stick in my brain
(24:47):
now i think they're talking about the brothers now so
it says now when they saw him afar afar
off even before he came near to them
they conspired against him to kill him the mystic
guy i don't know this is the brothers the brothers are killing joseph he's
telling them all about how their sheaths are bound down to him
and the stars and stuff so they're like i'm killing this guy yeah
(25:10):
this dude this is intolerable it'd be a good
murder well we're gonna find out then they said
to one another look this dreamer is
coming come therefore let us now kill him and cast him into some pit and we
shall say some wild beast has devoured him we shall see what will become of
(25:31):
his dreams but but reuben heard it and he He delivered them out of their hands
and said, let us not kill him.
And Reuben said to them, shed no blood, but cast him into the pit,
which is in the wilderness, and do not lay a hand on him.
That he might deliver him out of their hands and bring him back to their father.
(25:53):
So he's done. Don't kill him. Just throw him in a hole and just leave him there.
Hopefully he dies, but we won't do it. But we didn't do it.
So, it came to pass when Joseph had come to his brothers that they stripped
Joseph of his tunic and the tunic of many colors that was on him.
Then they took him and cast him into a pit, and the pit was empty. There was no water in it.
(26:16):
So, obviously, it was maybe an old well, I don't know.
And they sat down to eat a meal. So, they took him to the pit to eat, to have a meal.
Then they lifted their eyes and looked, and there was a company of Ishmaelites
coming from Gilead with their camels bearing spices, balm, and myrrh on their
(26:36):
way to carry them down to Egypt.
So I think this is a group of Ishmael's descendants, maybe.
So Judah said to his brothers, what profit is there if we kill our brother and conceal his blood?
Come, let us sell him to the Ishmaelites, and let not our hand be upon him.
(26:59):
For he is our brother and our flesh.
And the brothers listened. So, you following what just happened?
They just sold their brother. Yeah, they threw him down a pit.
And then the king's scammer, who was that again? Judah.
He's like, boys, we can make some money here. from
a long line of scammers he's he's
(27:19):
gone in early it's so good so clever and he
is pretty intolerable say like joseph brothers i just would have thought levi
or simeon would have been the main bad brothers in this story like just add
some character development continue that on but they might just be the the beef
you know what i mean like they might like judah's the brains,
(27:41):
and they're just the we're just going in and crushing skulls they threw him
in the pit Yeah, they did the pit thrallin', yeah.
Sorry, just a quick thing as well. Is this Joseph, because they keep talking
about his many-coloured tunic, is he Joseph in the amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat?
(28:02):
Is that what that would be based on? Maybe. If it is, that's pretty cool. Maybe. I don't know.
I think I always knew that that had some biblical cool going on,
but I just assumed it was Jesus' fake dad.
I'm interested in Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat now, if that's what it is.
We'll find out if it's a good story soon. Well, we will. And could Bevan's tapping
(28:23):
away on the interwebs again?
I need a chart about biblical musicals.
Then the Midianite traders passed by, so the brothers pulled Joseph up and lifted
him out of the pit and sold him to the Ishmaelites for 20 shekels of silver,
and they took Joseph to Egypt.
(28:44):
Is that a good price? Is that even much money? Yeah. I don't know. A block of land was 400.
What did they get at a high price? They got 20 shekels of silver.
So, I don't know. It doesn't sound like much, does it? But for one of Jacob
slash Israel's children, I suppose they didn't know. They couldn't sell him as that, I guess.
(29:08):
He's just some weird cunt that dreams things and then brags about what he dreams.
Yeah. And this whole time he's like, my brothers, my brothers, what are you doing to me?
My brothers, you put me down a pit. Oh, I'm out of the pit. Oh,
thank you. Oh, hang on. Who are these men?
What's going on? I couldn't help but think that his dream about them bowing
(29:30):
down was them looking down the pit at him. It should have been. Yeah, yeah.
They're all looking down the pit and it looks bowing. It looks submissive.
Then Reuben returned to the pit and indeed Joseph was not in the pit and he tore his clothes.
So Reuben mustn't have been part. He must be the, maybe Reuben,
like similar to, who did we say, wouldn't it have been good if this person became
(29:53):
the main character because they actually seemed good?
And some other shit prick was. Maybe if Ruben became, like, if Ruben was the
main man, he seems very moral.
Are we just talking about SL? Maybe. I hope so. Yeah, maybe.
And indeed, Joseph was not in the pit and he tore his clothes.
So he's like, maybe out of frustration, like, no!
(30:14):
And he's tearing the colorful tunic up. And he returned to his brothers and said, the lad is no more.
I forget what I said for Reuben. The lad is no more.
And I, where shall I go? So I think he's feeling blamed.
So they took Joseph's tunic, killed the kid of the goats, and dipped the tunic in the blood.
(30:34):
So the scam is deepening. Then they sent the tunic of many colors that they
brought, sorry, and they brought it to their father and said, we have found this.
Do you know whether it is your son's tunic or not?
Right? They knew.
And he recognized it and said, it is my son's tunic. A wild beast has devoured him.
(31:01):
Without doubt, Joseph is torn to pieces. Then Jacob tore his clothes,
put sackcloth on his waist, and mourned for his son many days.
And all his sons and all his daughters arose to comfort him,
but he refused to be comforted.
And he said, For I shall go down into the grave to my son in mourning.
(31:24):
Thus his father wept for him. Now, the Midianites had sold him in Egypt to Potiphar,
an officer of Pharaoh and captain of the guard. So, he's gone.
So, that's the end of chapter 37.
Pretty wild. There's some drama going on, isn't there? Yeah.
I was worried Israel wasn't going to weep for his son after all the previous
(31:46):
weepings, but it came through. You thought he was running out of his tears?
No, I don't know. I just thought he would love his son enough to give a weeping,
considering the stolen kiss weep.
So, yeah, they've got to conclude this story somehow.
But they go off on a little side tangent. So, of all the shit things brothers
(32:09):
and sisters have done to each other, at least you didn't sell your sibling.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's put the bar up a little higher for everyone.
Yes, the Bible has given a few bad examples of what you can do to your brother.
Are they just going to rise up against the next brother that takes his place
as the next one that gets bowed to or whatever?
(32:32):
As long as he doesn't dream or if he keeps his dreams to himself.
Hey, just shut up, fucking hell. Tell everyone, Joseph, fucking hell,
stop being such a little telltale prick.
And wearing the brightest tunic
you could possibly wear just to draw even more attention to yourself.
Yeah, if he was in a sand-coloured tunic, he might have walked close enough
and overheard them talking about him before he got... But he's like, I was over the horizon.
(32:56):
He had some servants playing welcoming as he come over the hill.
For he is here in his technicolor tunic.
I kept the Arabian Nights singing in the last episode too. You'll be glad to know. Lovely.
(33:17):
That's just what this needed. All right, so we'll move on to chapter 38.
Oh, it's a chapter. Oh, not any chapter.
It came to pass at that time that Judah departed from his brothers and visited
(33:39):
a certain Adalamite whose name was Hira.
So Judah, I'm not sure who Judah's the kid of. And Judah saw there a daughter
of a certain Canaanite whose name was Shua, and he married her and went into her. Okay?
So we follow so far? Yeah. Yeah, I'm pretty sure Judah's just another one of
(34:00):
the sons, isn't he? Just one of the early ones from the less good wife.
Or one of the servants. Yeah, the less good wife's third son. Is Leah.
Yeah. So, Reuben, someone, then Judah. Oh, sorry, fourth. Okay.
Reuben, Simeon, Levi, Judah.
They're all shit except Reuben. Sounds that way.
(34:20):
And Judah saw their daughter of Canaanite, married her, and went into her.
So she conceived and bore a son, and he called his name Eah.
She conceived again and bore a son, and she called his name Onan.
And she conceived yet again and bore a son and called his name Shelah.
He was at Chezib when she bore him. So we follow so far three kids.
(34:46):
Yeah, they're pumping out the sons. Yeah.
Seems to be pretty prominent. Then Judah took a wife for Ur,
his firstborn, and her name was Tamar.
But Ur, Judah's firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the Lord, and the Lord killed him.
That's a direct murder from God.
(35:09):
He's leveled up from just making women barren. How old was this child when it was killed?
Yeah, how old was this kid? I don't know. It was just wicked.
It didn't explain how. It was old enough to take a wife.
So however old that was. This is like grandchild shit.
(35:29):
Like Israel's grandkid? Yes.
Just got killed by God. God just was like, you're no good.
God has never done a direct murder before. He's done the flood.
But he hasn't just killed someone.
I wonder how he did it. Did he, like lightning or whatever? I wonder what he did.
(35:50):
Just stopped him from breathing and he- Sickness. Sickness? Random sickness. Yeah, okay.
All right, so we're following so far. So three kids, first kid got married to
Tamar. God didn't like him, killed him, okay?
And Judah, dad, said to Onan, who's the second son, go into your brother's wife
and marry her and raise up an heir to your brother.
(36:14):
Yeah? Sick. I'm thinking maybe Judah did the killing because he just wanted
the one son to do all the going into.
And he just said it was God. He wasn't a fan of her. And he's like,
you know what? Nah. Yeah.
Replacing you with your brother. Yeah. Well, we don't know. As far as we know,
it was God. We can't just make up that it was Judah.
(36:34):
So, all right. So, we're following so far. So, married Tamar,
got slaughtered by God. dad judah said to onan the second son go into your brother's
wife and create an heir okay.
And the thing which he did displeased... Oh, hang on.
Oh, sorry. I nearly skipped it there. And raise up an heir to your brother.
(36:56):
But Onan knew that the heir would not be his.
And it came to pass that when he went into his brother's wife,
that he omitted on the ground, lest he would give an heir to his brother.
Still going to get some sex, but no babies for you. Oh, my God. So, wait.
(37:17):
And they're recording. So he's not going to make the air. So who's making the air?
Well, he was supposed to. He was supposed to make the air, but he's like,
no, fuck that, because then it'll still be called Ur's air for some reason. I don't know why that is.
Yeah, because I was waiting for it to be, but she was already pregnant.
But no, he just came on the ground. He just came on the ground,
(37:39):
yeah. He did the pull-out method.
Yeah. Well-established, successfully used technique, that one.
And the thing which he did Displeased the lord Therefore he killed him also.
Pull out method is Not approved by god You gotta fill the vagina with the seed
(38:01):
Otherwise See ya Killing all the men in a town,
That's good Maybe don't do that you'll make some people hate us It's just bad
because people don't like it Do not pull out of your brother's house Holy fuck.
Which, by the way, if he didn't want to have sex with her, that's pretty gross being forced into that.
(38:24):
Yes. But he did. He had the sex. Yeah. Yeah, but he didn't necessarily want
to. But maybe he did. We don't know.
He was trying to demonstrate that she was barren and less worthy,
probably, really. Oh, yeah.
Now who's the one making up the story? Yeah, true.
I'm Queen God. I can do what I want. Yeah, fair enough. It's in my Bible.
I could be reading you as whatever. I could be making all this shit up, really.
(38:47):
I'm not that inventive. This is so fucking strange. So he killed him all.
So there's one brother left, and it was Sheila.
Okay, so we move on. Then Judah said to Tamar, his daughter-in-law,
who he's now previously given to two of his sons.
He said to Tamar, his daughter-in-law, remain a widow in your father's house
(39:10):
till my son Sheila is grown.
Own so yeah so go back to your dad's house and wait until i can give you to my other son,
for he said lest he also die like his brothers and tamar went and dwelt in her
father's house now in the process of time the daughter of shua judah's wife
(39:34):
died so there must have been a
daughter that they didn't talk about. Yeah.
And Judah was comforted and went up to his sheep shearers at Timnah and his
friend Hira, the Adolamite, right?
So all they're saying there, I think, is his daughter died, he got sad,
and he's like, I've got to go and sheep, shear some sheep to make myself feel a bit better.
(39:55):
And he took his mate Hira with him. Hira! Sick.
And it was told Tamar, the widow, It was told to Ma saying, look,
your father-in-law is going up to Timnah to shear his sheep.
So, she took off her widow's garments, covered herself.
So, there's a widow's uniform, which sounds pretty fucking creepy too.
(40:19):
She took off her widow's garments, covered herself with a veil and wrapped herself
and sat in an open place, which was on the way to Timnah.
For she saw that Sheila was grown and she was not given to him as a wife.
Yeah. So she's a bit annoyed. So Sheila's grown up and Judah has not gone,
(40:39):
Tamar, we need you to come and, you know,
Yeah, so is she trying to get to Sheila, or is she just opening herself up for any man?
Oh, we're about to find out. I unfortunately know the answer here.
You're still looking up the interwebs, Kabevin.
(40:59):
God is going to kill her. It's so good. No, it's worse.
Kabevin's cheated, Captain, and I'm going to have to... It took me...
The whole time you were talking, I was trying to figure this out because it didn't make sense to me.
But now it does. If I was God, you'd be killed right now.
Yeah, look, my bad. I'll stop doing that. So, yeah, she's up waiting on the
(41:22):
road or whatever, right?
When Judah saw her, he thought she was a harlot because she had covered her face.
Then he turned to her, by the way, and said, please, let me come into you.
Wait, who said this? Sorry, I missed the name. Judah, the dad. Oh, no. No.
Yeah. So he was polite. He's polite. He's like, hey, harlot. Yeah.
(41:44):
Please let me come into you. For he did not know that she was his daughter-in-law.
So she said, what will you give me that you may come into me?
And he said, I will send you a young goat from the flock.
So she's part of the family. She's a scammer from way back. Yes.
(42:09):
Where am I? From the flock. So, she said, will you give me a pledge till you
send it? Because obviously he doesn't have a goat with him at the time.
And he said, what pledge shall I give you?
So, she said, your signet and cord and your staff that is in your hand.
Then he gave them to her and went in her.
And she conceived by him. Okay? Yeah.
(42:34):
So, this is all happening on the side of the road as far as I can tell.
I assume in a shack on the side of the road.
Maybe she pitched a tent, maybe? I don't know.
I don't know. I'm just imagining two blokes heading up to the sheep shearer
shed, just having a chat, and they see this hot chick on the side of the road,
completely veiled, I guess, so they don't even know.
And she's like, please, I'm feeling an inkling.
(42:57):
Please, can I fuck you?
And she's like, yeah, just give me some shit. And he went, okay.
And I just think they're on the side of the road or under a tree or something.
Maybe it's like the red light district or whatever She's a lady of the night,
And that's the costume you wear Is a bit of a veil or whatever He said he thought
she was a harlot And that's what made him go up and talk to her.
(43:20):
So, that's happened. He's gotten to know her. And then it says,
so she arose and went away and laid aside her veil and put on the garments of
her widowhood. So, she's back home, back to normal.
And Judah sent a young goat by the hand of his friend, the Adalamite,
hurrah, to receive his pledge from the woman's hand, but he did not find her.
(43:44):
Yeah, she's not just hanging on the side of the road anymore.
No, in a veil. I like that he honoured this. He'd come back looking for the
harlot to give her this goat.
He'll fuck a harlot, but he's going to honour his pledge. Or he wants his staff
and his cord or whatever back.
But she's still got the staff and the cord, so she's done some pretty fucking
(44:08):
good scamming right now.
She has, she has. And it continues. It says, then he asked the men of that place,
saying, this could be a henchman, I guess, where is the harlot?
Who was openly by the roadside. And they said, there was no harlot in this place.
So he returned to Judah and said, I cannot find her.
(44:29):
Also, the men of this place said there was no harlot in this place.
Then Judah said, let her take them for herself.
Let her take them for herself, lest we be shamed.
For I sent this young goat and you have not found her. I really don't I know what that means.
And it came to pass about three months after that Judah was told saying to Ma,
(44:53):
your daughter-in-law has now played the harlot.
Furthermore, she is with child by harlotry. So at some point,
someone's found out that she was banging someone on the side of the road,
but no one knows any more than that.
So, Judah said, bring her out and let her be burned. Holy fuck. Fucking hell.
(45:13):
I didn't see it going that way. Well, he doesn't know any more than she's just been a harlot.
She was told to be a damn widow, and she's gone and been a harlot.
She's been a harlot. We're going to burn her.
Which is fine for him to bang a harlot. She's going to have this.
It's not fine for her to be a harlot.
She's going to have the staff and the cord, and she's going to present them
at the last possible fucking moment. Oh, I hope so. Like, burn me,
(45:37):
burn your baby, and give me my goat.
Where's my goat, bitch? When she was brought out, she sent to her father-in-law,
saying, By the man to whom these belong, I am with child, Captain.
So I think, yeah. And she said, Please determine whose these are,
(46:02):
the signet and cord and staff.
Half so judah acknowledged them and said
she has been more righteous than
i because i did not give her to sheila my son so he's just regretting yeah hooking
up the marriage and he never knew her again very righteous yeah and he didn't
(46:25):
explain why he didn't give his kid to her though no he He just said, oh, I forgot, I suppose.
I was doing some other shit. Too busy banging chicks on the side of the road.
Now, it came to pass at the time for giving birth that, behold, twins were in her womb.
And so it was when she was giving birth that the one put out his hand and the
(46:51):
midwife took a scarlet thread and bound it on his hand, saying, this one came out first.
Because you've got to have your air. Got to know number one, yeah. Yeah.
He's the new Joseph. Then it happened, as he drew back his hand,
so he stuck his hand out giving birth. Look, this is a baby.
(47:12):
He's popped his little baby hand out. Tied a thing around it.
And then he's like, you ink.
He's tucked it back in the vagina, right? Does that count?
You know in the 100-meter sprint in running, the chest is the thing that matters?
Is it birthing whatever comes out is the winner first? Well,
I thought torso would be the first for that too.
(47:34):
Well, while I was reading this specific part, I realized this is the proof.
This little bit right here is the proof that this was written by men because
they have no idea how a birth...
Happened like they don't like a baby just doesn't poke its
fucking hand out you know oh i'm
sure i'm sure that must have happened at some point but that's not typically my
(47:56):
understanding is because i was at some births they don't come out like just
poke a hand out anyway then as it happened as he drew back his hand that his
brother came out unexpectedly and she said how did you break through this breach
be upon you therefore his name was called perez for some reason,
afterward his brother came out who had a
(48:16):
scarlet thread on his hand and his name was zera
so the baby scam baby scam straight
away yeah straight out of the womb that was the
end of that the sl jacobs was jacobs scam but like at birth yeah straight at
birth yeah yeah it was it wasn't a it was a fucking little scarlet maybe the
little baby was inside like no you don't yoink and pulled him back in like fuck
(48:39):
you they're already battling so that's where we are that's That's the end of
chapter 38. So how did that go for you, boys?
Beautiful. I was hoping that one of them was furry when it was announced they were twins.
We don't know yet. Maybe it was Perez or Zero or whatever. Yeah.
So I reckon I'm happy. I reckon we wrapped that up. That was a pretty good place to finish on.
(49:01):
Yeah. And we got shit to do because it's Sunday. We got to go and do some Sunday shit.
Yeah. So that was Brothers Grail chapter. The big chapter 13,
the number of the, I don't know, Black Friday, whatever. What? I don't know.
I think you confused us because it's like episode 13, but you're calling it chapter.
(49:25):
But then each episode we read multiple chapters. Oh, yeah. I have been calling
things chapter instead of episode. Yeah.
Anyway, that's on me. Thanks, Captain.
Cheers. Thanks, Kebevan. Please. It's been pleasant. Happy Sunday, everybody. Bye!
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