Episode Transcript
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The Brothers Grail acknowledges the Bindal and Wulgurukaba people of North Queensland
and the Wurundjeri people of Melbourne, the traditional owners of the land we record on today.
We pay our respects to elders past, present and emerging.
We also recognise that Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders have been custodians
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of the land, rivers and seas for at least 65,000 years and were the first storytellers.
Brothers Grail, it's the Grail, Brothers Grail,
Brothers Grail, Brothers Grail, the Brothers Grail.
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Music.
Greetings, beloved congregation of the Brothers Grail podcast.
Within these sacred preachings, I, your humble shepherd, Quindog,
embark upon the sacred task of recounting the sacred texts of the Old and New
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Testament to my Nimrod brothers, the Captain and Kebevan.
Though we proudly bear the mantle of non-believing heathens,
we courageously embark upon the arduous journey toward enlightenment and understanding.
Join us as we navigate these passages of faith, mysticism, and the aroma of
freshly burnt meat offerings.
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Together, we seek not just comprehension, but divine revelation itself.
The boys, hello. I would have thought we would have just continued on with Quinn God, as you and I may.
Well, I didn't want to push it. I think that's up to my followers to do that,
so I'm not going to push back on it.
Are we Nimrods as in great hunters? Nimrods as in...
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Well, I took it as a double entendre. So most people are going to consider all
three of us, by the way. Leave it to the listeners.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I think all three of us. I immediately went morons is where I went.
Exactly. I'd forgotten all about
the cool version of it, and I was already back to just seeing myself.
So I think most people are going to think that. But we secretly know,
because we've read the Bible, that Nimrod was a great hunter.
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So we both know that. We all know.
So this is the threshold. We are now crossing into professionalism.
Are we okay with that, boys? How long can you keep it up?
Well, I've probably already passed it because that was the only pretty clear
end part of the whole thing, except for them dot points.
I think after the last episode, a bit of professionalism might be required. Agreed.
Agreed. But we do not want any less Brothers Grail-ism.
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We need to just be, you know, we need to lean into this because we're not professional.
We're just making this shit up as we go.
Yeah, and there wasn't anything really exciting going on in that last bit anyway.
Just, there was heaps. What are you talking about? I think it got pretty exciting.
Well, that helps me because let's really quickly do a little quick summary.
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Do you remember much of what was going on?
So we did previously on the brother's grail. Thanks, Kevin.
We went through chapters 15, 16, 17.
What stands out to you, boys, that you remember?
Okay, I've got some dot points. My first dot point is Abram was very whiny to
God and about giving him male babies.
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That happened. Did he specifically say male? Well, he was talking about an heir. He did one. Yeah.
It's also just implied because males are the only, like,
desired humans correct on the planet correct that
at least within this culture so we're kind of establishing at
this point that this group is like god's people
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and then there's the other people that for whatever
reason he's just not as invested in yeah they're like the egyptians and everybody
else on the planet exactly yeah which like doesn't get any explanation why they're
different we just know that they're not us they're like different gods yeah
yeah this is the real one then i had Abram had to catch some animals and cut
them in half as an offering, a turtle dove.
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He didn't cut the birds. Oh, no, he didn't. The heifer, three-year-old heifer.
Straight down the middle. Straight down the middle. Down the spine, as I think we discussed.
Not at the waist, because that would have been a bit weird.
I mean, aren't both a bit weird, really? True, true, true.
Sorry, as part of that same discussion, didn't we also discover that God was
a pervert that enjoyed sexually? I think we all viewed.
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He was behind the butchers wanking while Abram was cutting, and that's right.
There were some very offensive things said. That was the funniest offensive
thing that should happen.
Yes, that was a highlight. I did think so as well.
God promised him all the land between the Nile and Euphrates Rivers,
which he's done a few times.
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He's promised land in every couple of chapters, and it still never seems to
come through for whatever reason. and Sarai gave her servant Hagar to Abram to go into. Into.
Yeah, he went into her. He knew her well.
Sarai got angry and bashed her. Hagar ran away but got sent back by a fucking angel.
I never went back, but I think that's like the second mention of angels.
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Oh, I still think it's the first. Because when they first, when they were saying
about the corrupting of the land and stuff, wasn't it the angels that were coming
down and having babies with the women?
I don't know. Maybe. Maybe we'll have to go back. Are cherubs just baby angels?
Maybe. Maybe they're, yeah. Maybe. Let's just run with that.
Cherubs are baby angels.
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She got sent back. Abram and Hagar had a son called Ishmael,
who was a wild man. Wild man. I'm pro-Ishmael at this point.
Well, he's a baby. We can't hate him yet.
Although the captain did say we should touch all babies' groins.
No. So I was obviously very drunk with that.
And I can't undo what was said. And you were meaning, I think you were meaning
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that because you have to touch their groin to cut the dick skin off.
And so you're playing the role of the the
christian that needs to be like he's in
charge of rolling out the groin and i just
didn't do a very good performance and make it very clear so when
i was saying that i think i was playing the role of someone who wanted to do
the right what do you think at the time beat him decide eight year old i don't
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know what big seven plus one because the seven is a thing so maybe seven is
the plus this is my my theory is it's like a a manipulative management technique,
because, for example, okay, we had the pandemic.
Yeah. It was like, mate, you have to get the vaccine to be able to work and stuff.
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Yeah. I'm like ready to do the vaccine. I'm on board for the vaccine,
but I have to do it for work.
Yeah. I got the first vaccine shot. I've never had another one.
We've just lost a whole heap of listeners right now too, by the way.
Yeah, whatever. I did say, I did last episode, I called Christian's fucking...
Offensive word yeah during my rant so like i've pretty much we're already on
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i've done that already and you've probably done you're allowed to do anything
in christian thing as long as you,
repent i think but sorry keep going the point i was trying to
make was it's a way to like force a point where it's gonna happen and make it
urgent so you don't put it off that's that's like a manipulation technique oh
yeah give the time a moment so you just got no time to think anymore about it
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just got to do it yeah it's just like okay there's no time to stop it there's
a time limit on this bad boy, and we're knocking him out real quick.
And then cut the dick off. How did the message get sent? Was it an instant thing,
like eight days from this very... Stop it! Captain, you already ran dick. Okay, sorry.
And you're not even in your second bottle of wine yet. And of all things to
catch on and stay for 2,000 plus years, cutting the tip of dick skin. Yeah.
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The first sell of that has got to be hard. And then it just,
you're right, it's stuck from then on.
That's why they try to do it mostly to babies because they don't have much to
think about. No pushback.
God then changed Abram and Sarah's names to Abraham and Sarah,
which as the captain pointed out, I have that power also by just changing Bevan's name to Kevin.
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And then as we already sort of pre, we pre, I don't know, we've already talked
about this with the circumcisions.
So that's what happened in the last chapter.
Today we're going to be going through chapters 18 19 and 20 hopefully unless
the preacher keeps fucking interrupting but kevin you're a giggle what's going
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on why have you wrote porkins with a question mark next to abram.
So okay so this is yeah that's why that's why because when they changed his
name they just added ham to it yeah because i'm i'm i mean i'm introducing the
chap uh the characters that were We're about to talk about,
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and it's Abraham now, which I think we just have to call him Abraham Hawkins then.
Yeah. And then we talk a bit more about Sarah.
We talk about Lot. And now, oh, dudes, I'm really interested in knowing how
you feel about what we're going to be going through storyline-wise with Lot.
I'm really excited about this.
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And then there's some more angels. I wrote, I think, because at the start of
the chapter, I was unsure, but then it's made clear later that they're angels. angels.
We get some peak whiny Abraham Hawkins. We get some strange sexual escapades,
biblical level disasters, and some deja vu.
Abraham Hawkins gets up to some of his old tricks. So that's what we've got coming up, boys.
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So before we begin, we won't make a big deal out of this. Any predictions?
So whiny Abraham is expected.
Strange sexual escapades, I'm guessing Abraham getting up to old tricks is Pimpin' Out Sarah.
Okay. And biblical level disasters, it's going to be Sodom and Gomorrah. Okay. All right.
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Captain? Preacher? Dr. Preacher? Yeah. Pretty much on board with what he said.
Cool. I'm happy with that. All right. So why don't we rip in?
We're going to kick off Chapter 18.
Music.
Yeah. All right.
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Then the Lord appeared to him by the terebinth trees of Mamre as he was sitting
in the tent door in the heat of the day. We're talking about Abraham Porkins now.
So he lifted his eyes and looked, and behold, three men were standing by him.
And when he saw them, he ran from the tent door to meet them and bowed himself to the ground.
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Clearly important men. And he said, my Lord.
If I have, my Lord, if I have now found favor in your sight,
do not pass on by your servant. So don't keep going.
So, sure, I'm welcoming you in.
Please let a little water be brought and wash your feet and rest yourselves under a tree.
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And I will bring you a morsel of bread that you may refresh your hearts.
After that, you may pass by in as much as you have come to your servant.
They said do as you have said right
so he's like they agree they're staying they're hanging around for
a bit so abram hurried into the tent
to sarah and said quickly make ready
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three measures of fine meal and knead it and make cakes and abram ran to the
herd took a tender and good calf gave it to a young man and he hastened to prepare
it so he took butter and milk and the calf which he had prepared and set it before them.
And he stood by them under the tree as they ate.
Yeah. Nothing controversial yet. So he went, people passing by,
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I'm going to make you a meal.
You make this. You make this. Yes. And just. While he entertains. He's the entertainer.
I bet he'd play in the heart he's one of the heart people then they said to
him where is Sarah your wife so he said here in the tent.
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And he said I will cert this is the visitor I will certainly return to you according
to the time of life and behold Sarah your wife shall have a son and it says in brackets here,
Sarah was listening in the tent door, which was behind him. Right?
So Sarah's secretly listening in.
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Yeah. Now, Abram and Sarah were old, well advanced in age, and Sarah had passed
the age of childbearing.
Therefore, Sarah laughed within herself, saying, After I have grown old,
shall I have pleasure in my Lord being old also? so?
And the Lord said to Abram, why did Sarah laugh, saying, shall I surely bear a child since I am old?
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Is there anything too hard for the Lord? At the appointed time,
I will return to you according to the time of life, and Sarah shall have a son.
But Sarah denied it, saying, I didn't, I did not laugh, for she was afraid.
And he said, no, but you did laugh.
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So there was pretty high level dialogue going
on there back and forth sorry who is who is abram talking
to again this is his visitors this is his and they're the ones that proclaim
she's having a boy he's talking to the lord yes yeah yeah so is it just a traveling
yeah yeah a little confusing so yeah but it's not yeah it's not the lord but
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this is the bit where i was i was originally thinking, oh, I think these might be angels.
Yeah, they seem like some kind of mystical cool. Yeah.
But why wouldn't Sarah think that it was possible when she'd already been granted
magical god baby and stuff already?
No, well, I think it was just a promise so far.
All she's really, all God's really done for us so far is change her night,
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really, if you think about it. Have they not had a kid yet? No.
No, no, it was Hagar. So Sarah's still barren. I thought Isaac was. No, that's Hagar's.
Ishmael. Oh, yeah. No, she hasn't had Isaac yet.
Is this immediately? Isaac named him. Oh, they just said it's going to be called
Isaac. It's going to happen. Yeah, yeah.
So this is what the Bible does. Promises stuff. Is this immediately after that last section?
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I think so. So, yeah. That last section made it seem like there was a bit of
a jump in advance with the children.
But maybe it was all premonition stuff. Yeah. I just thought they were all real.
It didn't happen. It was just sort of promised, I think, previously.
So this is now, I don't know, it's just what the Bible does.
It sort of just retells the same thing a few times in different ways.
So that's what they're doing. They're just re-promising it. So no,
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they're still just, you know, yeah, they've still got no children at the moment.
No, but you did laugh. Then the men rose from there and looked towards Sodom,
and Abram went with them to send them on their way.
So they've had lunch, they've had a laugh, and they're about to head off to Sodom.
And the Lord said, Shall I hide from Abraham what I am doing?
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Since Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation,
and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him.
I'm not really sure. I think he's talking to himself maybe. For I have known
him in order that he may command his children and his household after him,
that they keep the way of the Lord to do righteousness and justice,
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like raping your servant.
And then so righteousness and
justice, and that the Lord may bring Abraham what he has spoken to him.
So I don't understand really. Who is writing this? Yeah. I don't know.
It sounds like Abraham was writing it, But this is Abraham talking as the Lord.
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No, this is his mate. His mates are saying this.
So I think maybe his mates are talking among each other and they're going,
are we going to tell Abraham what we're up to? Because blah,
blah, blah. Bible talk, right?
So that's where we're up to. In that last bit there, did it also say he knew him?
Don't miss that. As in the angel knew Abraham. It said something about he knows him.
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Oh, I don't know. As he knows him.
It does say, for I have known him in order that he may command his children.
So are you meaning that this dude snuck in and just banged him? I'd say strange sex.
No, well, if it... I wasn't referring to that, but we might have picked up on
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something there, Captain. He might have been secretly known.
And the Lord said, because...
And the Lord said.
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That has come to me, and if not, I will know. So I think what's happening is
these travelers, they're on their way to Sodom and Gomorrah because people must
be praying to God going, oh, these people are so wicked and horrible.
So our travelers along the way bump into Abraham, have a nice little lunch,
and then they're sort of toying with themselves in their brains going,
do we tell Abraham what we're about to do?
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Because he's pretty important, he probably should know about it.
That's what I'm reading into that.
But when you say what they're going to do, Is it that they're going to go and
commit sin at Sodom and Gomorrah?
No, no, no, no. They're actually snitches, and they're going to go to Sodom
and Gomorrah and report back about whether it's actually doing what people are
whinging about. Does that make sense?
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They're like little investigators. They are. They're the CSI.
This goes against the whole God is all-knowing, though.
True, yeah. Why does God need him to send some investigators in?
Yes, yes. Well, God didn't send them, did he? Yeah, yeah, they're his people.
I think they're angels. And it opens up a little bit more, and it says specifically
that they're Abrams. Not important enough to name, like Abram,
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but more important as investigators. Yes. Yeah.
Investigator one, investigator two, investigator three. When the credits roll.
The very credits. Yeah. Yeah.
According to the outcry against it that has come to me, if not, I will know.
Then the men turned away from there and went towards Sodom. But Abraham,
Porkins, still stood before the Lord.
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So, I don't know. The Lord must be there too. I don't know. So I don't get it.
And the Lord just, anytime you interact with the Lord, they just say a thing
that you might be doing, but in a way that makes no sense.
In the way that your sentence made no sense then? What do you mean? Yeah, pretty much.
He's just saying stand before doesn't literally mean standing before.
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But sometimes they talk to him.
They just say generic things. Yeah, because they're always talking to the Lord
technically, I suppose. And Abraham came near and said, would you also destroy
the righteous with the wicked?
The book thinks that we can read between the lines.
And I only know this because I've read along further, but it hasn't talked about
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what these people plan on doing to Sodom and Gomorrah, but we're supposed to know that already.
But basically, they're about to wipe it off the map, right?
So now Abraham is talking to the Lord, and he goes, so the Lord's going to smash
the cities and all these people, right?
Murder people again, which the rainbow city wouldn't.
So Abraham is now pushing back, all right? So this is Abraham maybe standing up a little bit.
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But anyway, would you also destroy the righteous with the wicked?
Suppose there were 50 righteous within the city.
Would you also destroy the place and not spare it for 50 righteous that were in it?
Far be it from you to do such a thing. Oh, hang on.
No, that's still, I think that's still Abraham. Far be it from you to do such
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a thing as this, to slay the righteous with the wicked.
So, Abraham, did he just grow some balls? I don't know. He just stuck it to
him. I must admit. I think he's coming to hand porkins, you know.
Oh. You got a new name. Maybe.
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But I must admit, this is my peak whiny Abraham dot point because I don't know.
Anyway, just let me kick up. He's not shutting him down.
He's whining about it. He's whining about it. Yeah, he is. Okay.
So the Lord said, if I find in Sodom 50 righteous within the city,
then I will spare all the place for their sakes. They should have lowered that fucking number.
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Well. Why did he pick 50? Captain, I mean, Kebevan. Hold that fucking thought, dude. Ready?
Then Abram answered and said, indeed now, I am, I who am but dust and ashes
has taken it upon myself to speak to the Lord.
Suppose there were five less than 50 righteous. would you destroy the city for
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lack of five so he said if i find their 45 i will not destroy it.
Suppose there should be 40 found there so he said i will not do it for the sake
of 40 then he said let not the lord be angry and i will speak suppose 30 shall
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be found there oh my god we get the,
Maybe you can jump by 15 minutes.
I'm proud of me that wants it just to keep going down in the score.
It's like you just want it to go down like a tennis score, hey.
Yeah. You know? This feels like we're playing Monopoly and we're auctioning
and it's going up by a dollar at the fucking time.
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I still feel like this is some powerful bard behavior. He's using his powers
of persuasion and he's just, mate, look, I'm putting forward a convincing argument
not to kill any innocent people here.
And one little tiny bit at a time. So he said, I will not do it if I find 30 there.
And he said, indeed, now I've taken it upon myself to speak to the Lord.
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Suppose 20 should be found there.
So he said, I will not destroy it for the sake. Imagine how impatient God's getting right now.
I tell you, I just blew it up.
I've got back on my word. I'm just blowing it up. Before my spies even get there,
I'm fucking blowing it up.
I will not destroy it for the sake of 20. Then he said, let not the Lord be angry.
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And I will speak, but once more. So he's got one more chance,
according to this. Suppose 10 should be found there.
Should have gone for zero, motherfucker. Oh, one. Should have gone for one.
One is the correct answer. And he said, I will not destroy it for the sake of 10.
So the Lord went his way. So that's the end of that discussion.
So the Lord went his way as soon as he had finished speaking with Abraham and
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Abraham returned to his place. End of chapter We're punching through the chapters
I really want there to be nine righteous people in this,
Sorry motherfucker You just said Did it say he was arguing with the lord at the end there?
Yeah that whole part was the lord Yes He is being more protective of the The lord Yes.
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God's like come on I just want to kill one And he goes, there might be a righteous people.
All right. Like I want to kill mom. I just want to kill a little.
And so this is all further evidence of your angel theory. Colin.
God is like taking these mates on a mission to blow it up. Because he wants proof.
He's like, find me proof so I can kill you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Give me some evidence, which then makes it sound like I'm doing the right thing.
It's the prosecutor looking for the evidence to prove what he wants.
Were they the propaganda machine just sent forward? So they were there just
telling everyone that you're all evil so that it justified God just wiping them out.
I think that might be what it was. but boys we just got through a whole fucking
chapter in i don't know record time professional,
(24:18):
midday every time yeah yeah yeah midday and not
much drinking yeah should we um should we get new names as well what do you
want to be yeah i hadn't thought that that's god's choice man yeah you're queen
god you should be coming up with this well yeah okay all right fuckhead i mean
Fuck, whatever. That was shit.
(24:40):
Nailed it. Yeah. All right. Do I just get stripped of the Quindog fucking mantle immediately?
Because all I've got to do is add ham to the end of your name. Don't I?
Captain Ham. I'll go with it. Captain Ham. Captain Ham.
Captain. The Captain Ham. Yeah. All right. We're not going to do that.
I think it's pasta cheese. So we're about to move on to chapter nine.
(25:02):
I'm not prepared to move on so quickly because we never do it this way. But chapter 19.
I might keep that in there. All right. Now, the two angels.
So, they don't say this for the whole previous chapter, but it says,
now, the two angels came to Sodom in the evening. So, they just immediately declared angels.
(25:24):
Oh, so it wasn't a theory. You just knew the angels. No, no.
I did a little bit of prep this time, and I've read ahead.
So, now, the two angels came to Sodom in the evening, and Lot was sitting in the gate of Sodom.
Because remember, if you remember, Abram and Lot were hanging out together and
Abram's like, we can't hang together. We got too much shit.
(25:46):
Lot, fuck off in that direction. And that's where, so he's been hanging out
in that area, which is Jordan now, which is just purely desert.
Apparently back in this biblical time, it was wonderfully green and lush and
you could have lots of cool animals and whatever.
Did Lot successfully set up a place or?
Did he abandon that and just go to Sodom and Gomorrah? Is Sodom and Gomorrah in his zone?
(26:09):
I – These two? No, they were already there. I think when we talked about it
back in the time, it said Lot went east in the direction of Sodom and Gomorrah. Remember that?
I think they said it. So, no, he's just gone and just, I don't know,
slept over there or whatever.
When Lot saw them, he rose to meet them. He bowed himself with his face toward
the ground, and he said – how do I do a lot –.
(26:32):
Here here now oh fucking hell here now
he's got a gravelly voice here now my lords
please turn into your servant's house
and spend the night all right so come in and spend the night at my house and
wash your feet then you may rise early and go on your way so he invited me in
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and said they can piss off straight up in the morning and they said no but we
will spend the night in the open,
Why they want that, I don't know.
But he insisted strongly, so they turned into him and entered his house.
Then he made them a feast and baked unleavened bread, and they ate.
Now, before they lay down, the men of the city, the men of Sodom,
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both old and young, all the people from every quarter surrounded the house. All right?
That horror story. Did you hear the change in my voice?
Yeah, all right. and they called to lot and they said to him where are the men
who came to you tonight bring them out to us that we may know them carnally
oh yes they're not fucking around all right they're on a rape right they're
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gonna go they're gonna go,
hagar no they're gonna go they're gonna go fucking rape all over them yeah straight
up i would have felt very threatened until i said carnal.
I hope the angels get sent back afterwards. Huh?
I hope someone sends the angels back afterwards. For what? After they get raped and run away.
(28:06):
Go back to your captain. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Go back and get raped again.
Yeah, look, they're not done.
Back in there. That took me way too long to work out. Yeah, me too. No, that was good.
So, Lot went out to them through the doorway, shut the door behind him and said,
Please, my brethren, do not do so wickedly.
(28:28):
See now, I have two daughters who have not known a man.
Please let me bring them out to you, and you may do to them as you wish. No fucking way.
Leave the angels to my daughters. Yep, ruin my daughters, my untouched daughters.
And it doesn't say an age. No.
Fuck. You're looking a little downcast. I need nothing at this point, by the way.
(28:49):
You're looking a little downcast. So, if two young virgins get raped instead
of angels, that's a good thing, isn't it?
I don't know. We don't know anything of what an angel is.
Like, if an angel lives for four billion years and is mystical and magical...
You reckon they can take five dicks at a time? That's a situation way better.
It was my understanding... Aren't angels not supposed to have genitals?
(29:14):
No. Who knows? I don't know. They've got wings, don't they?
Who's talking about that? You've been thinking about angels' genitals.
What are you talking about? No, well.
Are you thinking of eunuchs? Okay. You're thinking of eunuchs.
I'm taking it back to Marilyn Manson.
And things I've heard, too, but he purposely didn't have genitals on his angel person for that reason.
(29:37):
Maybe I don't know anything about angels. So you might be right.
We're going to trust Marilyn Manson. The source of that was Marilyn Manson.
Yeah, yeah. Music tells me a lot. Yeah.
So my two daughters, they can do to them as you wish.
Only do nothing to these men since this is the reason they have come under the shadow of my roof.
(29:58):
So somehow Lot knows that these boys are there to find out if this town is wicked.
Do you know what I mean? And so he's like, don't prove to them that they're
wicked. Just rape my daughters instead.
Is that a sign that he's really trying to stop the destruction because he really
enjoys the plants he's in?
(30:20):
He's definitely trying to stop the destruction, yes. Yeah.
So what's his motive then? Is he also just offering up the daughters because
he doesn't want his sin world to be destroyed?
Maybe. There's got to be another way though, hey?
I don't think there's any good character in this area. How's that thought, Captain?
You all good? I'll let her go, zoom home, look to fridge into a ute and come back. All right.
(30:54):
So this may end up a little clunky, but Kebevan had to evacuate briefly to lift
the fridge, but he's back now to do some man stuff.
You had to do man stuff for some helpers, is that?
And another man. There's another man. Yeah, okay. I'm helping a man.
Sometimes you just got to help the helper. You're going to help the helper. All right.
So we've just had Lot defending the angels going, don't rape the angels, rape my daughters.
(31:22):
No, not rape. Do what you wish. Carnally. Treat them carnally.
But the wording too, you can do whatever you wish to my daughters too.
It's open slather. It is like you can marry however you want.
No rules. And if anyone knows how evil the people of Sodom are,
it's not our new investigators. investigators, it's a lot. He's living there.
(31:44):
So he's got to know how bad- He's like, I know exactly what you just want to do.
Here's my daughter. Here's some flesh. But I still feel like he's doing this
to protect- You guys are saying protecting the angels, but couldn't he just
be doing it to protect the-
Area from i guess so yeah if he doesn't want
the angels to see how bad everyone is yeah so
(32:05):
that i've got i think i tapped the thing then so so i'm
gonna get my squeezy and if by the way if abram
abraham got it down to one person arguably lots there he could have been the
entire city it could have been the one unless unless these angels are the deepest
(32:26):
sleepers that can survive a rape pillaging.
Sleep through a rape pillaging. They're the dumbest investigators of all time.
Because if I was looking for evidence of, like, sin, I feel like travelling
bandits of rapers are probably pretty high on the evidence.
It's like open and shut case.
(32:46):
There's no daughter offerings you can do to prevent the angels figuring out what's going on.
But what if one of these rapers, their heart wasn't in it, you know?
They just followed them about.
They're trying to be a good guy like let's just not rape a lot but they just
get roped in you know they're just they're at the back they're they're like
god they're wanking in the corner they're not doing they're not doing any of
(33:10):
the brutal gay raping they're just pulling pulling the corner all right you get off on sin mate.
Your sin and they said stand
back then they said this one
came in to stay here and he keeps acting as a judge now we will deal worse with
(33:32):
you than with them so they pressed hard against the man a lot and came near
to break down the door but the men reached out their hands and pulled what into
to the house with them and shut the door so the angels of,
So lots outside, pushing the crowd back. What are they, fucking vampires?
They can't get in unless they're offered in?
(33:52):
Yeah, the door's enough. It's a door, man. Yeah. And it was an open door briefly,
and no one reached in and grabbed.
And they struck the men who were at the doorway of the house. Oh, hang on.
No, I was about to cut this sentence off, but I shouldn't have.
And they struck the men who were at the doorway of the house with blindness,
(34:13):
tenderness both small and great so that they became weary trying to find the door.
Fairy dust is that what you just did straight in their face get
in here and then captain because you can't see him he just raised his palm to
the ceiling and just went like they blew dust from their hand into their faces
(34:36):
that's a good technique Did they kind of shove Lott out to the crowd?
No, I think- He went out to protect him. Yeah. And they ushered him back in to protect him.
And we don't know where the daughters are, by the way, because fucking hell,
these daughters are hiding in some- Yeah, well, did the mates go,
(34:56):
Lott, you're trying to do some other stuff.
We're going to kill you now specifically because you're no good?
You tried to stop us getting these guys and they're going to get us.
Yeah i think he put out his yeah i would i can't really can't really no we're
gonna carnally then we're just gonna bash him though we're gonna carnally side
think of it this way maybe these two.
(35:18):
Angels inverted commas uh scouts from
another land looking to invade and they're like motherfucker
you're housing the enemy
and we're gonna fuck his up maybe that
makes too much sense yeah no i think god sent angels yeah
sure yeah all right am i correct so lot they're
basically saying lot is actually they're preaching so i
(35:40):
was wrong what's not there to like enjoy the the
sin he's been trying to like be like nah mate stop being a sinner yeah that
we know of i guess yeah yeah come here you're trying to stop our raping you're
offering us your daughters instead of letting us do a raping yeah you're actually
real shit and we're just gonna kill you now yes yes yeah don't Don't protect the investigators.
(36:01):
We don't want to rape your daughters because we'll probably be able to rape
them later anyway. We just want to rape these traveling visitors because they're
only here for one night. One night and one night only.
And we want to carnally get to know them as an angry mob. One at a time. That's how it sounds.
Then the men said to Lot, have you anyone else here,
son-in-law, your sons, your daughters, and whomever you have in this city,
(36:25):
take them out of this place, for we will destroy this place because the outcry
against them has grown great before the face of the Lord and the Lord has sent us to destroy it.
So Lot went out and spoke to his sons-in-law who had married his daughters and
said, get up, get up, get up, get out of this place for the Lord will destroy the city.
(36:48):
But to his sons-in-law, he seemed to be joking.
I don't know why that's added down in there.
Because then they don't say any more about that. Because it just goes on and
says, when the morning dawned, the angels urged Lot to hurry,
saying, arise, take your wife and your two daughters who are here,
lest you be consumed in the punishment of the city.
(37:09):
I guess maybe that means that the sons-in-laws thought he was joking and then they never left, maybe.
Okay, I could hear it. so hang on they didn't
even find out if there was 10 good save people
to save no no not in no found a
family which by the way is a man a woman
yep two girls and then they both had a husband maybe yeah that's what i was
(37:34):
about to ask about so the hundreds and eight people i think seven yeah six or
seven something like that i i lost
count of three but um and the women who didn't know a man had a husband?
I guess so. Maybe the M. That's the only sons-in-laws that they could be.
So they didn't make the 10 threshold. No, no.
Maybe they have the two daughters that were virgins.
(37:56):
Two that weren't. Because they don't name women, do they? So yeah,
you're right. So Lot, his wife, two daughters that he was going to give up for rape.
Possibly two daughters that he wasn't. And then everything says in plural.
So let's say that's four, five, six for two other daughters, seven, eight.
I still only make eight. He should have went for five. If there was ten,
(38:18):
I would have given him credit for some reasonable writing. Some quick maths.
Even if it was poorly explained because of the mystical bonus daughters.
Well, I reckon that I think we're right, because pretty much at this point,
marriage is just when you agree to have sex with each other.
I would assume. Yeah, when the father gives you to another man.
(38:39):
And because they're all about breeding, I feel like they would have been having
sex immediately, so there has to be bonus children.
So yeah, we make it to eight.
You know what, there could be bonus brothers. They've made it to this one spot,
went into a house, and then went, we like this entire house we've met,
but everyone else has gone, we're going to burn this place and save this one family.
(39:03):
Yeah. But then the sons-in-law didn't believe them. So the sons-in-law are like,
you're gammon. You're gammon. They waited too late.
Because who can really take seriously a dude who's named a lot?
And they're like, we're going to destroy your city.
And they're cowering from a mob. Yeah.
Yeah. And Abram's not here. Abram just watched the angels go by to the lot. Yes, correct.
(39:26):
Yep. And he knows his little nephew's out there too, I suppose.
So he didn't really send any warnings.
Like, no, I didn't warn anyone about what was to come.
Righteous, you'll just live. Yeah, because the God knows.
No, God's not looking out for the innocent. Abraham was trying to get him to
care about the innocents. True.
By default, God would have allowed 50 innocents to die.
(39:51):
By default wouldn't it if i if i if if my
my nephew was chilling out somewhere god was going
to blow up and i'd had to put that
much arguing into trying to get god to care about innocent people
i would have been trying to save the people i cared about yeah you would have
sent one of your servants for sure i was not because there's no abraham hawkins
is doing it himself he's got my servant come here why didn't he send these 300
(40:16):
wild trains He could have done so much good. In a sneak attack.
Abraham took down a multi-king army. He did, but not.
This 300 spot army. I think he can quickly save his nephew and their family.
Once is enough. He saved him once. He's like, no, you're on your own now, Lachlan.
(40:36):
All right, so when the morning dawned, the angels urged Lot to hurry,
saying, Arise, take your wife and your two daughters who are here,
lest you be consumed in the punishment of the city.
And while he lingered, the men took hold of his hand, his wife's hand,
and the hands of his two daughters, the Lord being merciful to him,
(40:57):
and they brought him out and set him outside the city.
So it came to pass, when they had brought them outside, that he said,
He said, escape for your life.
Do not look behind you nor stay anywhere in the plain.
Escape to the mountains lest you be destroyed.
Then Lot said in classic fucking Abram.
(41:19):
He inherited some winginess. Yes, he inherited some winginess. Please know, my lords.
Please know, my lords. Indeed now, your servant has found favor in your sight
And you have increased your mercy, which you have shown me by saving my life.
But I cannot escape to the mountains, lest some evil overtake me and I die.
(41:42):
See now, this city is near enough to flee to, and it is a little one.
Please let me escape there.
And for some reason in brackets, it says, is it not a little one? I don't know why.
And my soul shall live. and he
said to him see i have favored you concerning
this thing also in that i will
(42:03):
not overthrow this city for which you have spoken so the
one he's gonna he wants to run to and flee to he's gonna i'll let one i'll let
that one survive hurry escape there for i cannot do anything until you arrive
there therefore the name of the city was called zor so i actually in my in my
google Google Earth wanderings,
(42:24):
this town,
city, does still exist. Zor. And...
Clearly, and obviously, because the Bible is 100% true, Sodom and Gomorrah don't
because they get wiped out.
So, this town city apparently is a place, right? Cool.
The sun had arisen upon the earth when Lot entered Zor.
(42:44):
Then the Lord rained brimstone and fire on Sodom and Gomorrah from the Lord out of the heavens.
I will really quickly point out, I don't think the investigators got to Gomorrah.
I think they only went to Sodom. and they're like, probably the same shit.
This one sucks. That one has to suck too. Has to.
And they nearly found their tent. They nearly got to the quarter and they're
(43:08):
like, oof. Yeah, so close.
Nah, just vomit. Yeah, we won't go to Gomorrah just in case because we want to murder everyone.
We don't want to spare, yeah, we don't want to spare some people.
So he overthrew those cities, all the plains.
So we're talking about the plain of Jordan, which is now desert.
All the inhabitants of the cities and what grew on the ground but his wife looked
(43:29):
back behind him and she became a pillar of salt now i think that means she just
got wiped out she's she didn't flee quickly enough i don't know why she's not
already in zor by the way but there's a little.
Column of smoke that that's no salt that was kind of hand to the ceiling yeah
yeah so apparently there's a column of salt that looks sort of like a lady that's
(43:54):
supposed to actually still be called We don't know her name.
Lot's wife. Maybe it is just, I think it is Lot's wife. Yeah, it's Lot's wife.
Yeah, fuck me, yeah. And then I don't know why, but Abraham starts getting talked about.
So it says, And Abraham went early in the morning to the place where he had stood before the Lord.
Then he looked towards Sodom and Gomorrah and toward all the land of the plain,
(44:15):
and he saw, and behold, the smoke of the land, which went up like the smoke of a furnace.
And it came to pass, when God destroyed the cities of the plain,
that God remembered Abraham and sent Lot out of the midst of the overthrow
when he overthrew the cities in which Lot had dwelt.
(44:37):
Then Lot went up out of Zor and dwelt in the mountains, and his two daughters
were with him because his wife's a pillar of salt, whatever that is.
Not bonus daughters. There's no bonus daughters.
Unless they stayed with the son-in-laws who thought it was funny. Oh, yeah.
So we don't know. No, because women just don't get... Did it say that the sun
laws are there? No, no, because they laughed. They thought it was funny.
(44:57):
That's why it's only him and the two virgins.
And his two daughters were with him, for he was afraid to dwell in Zor. So he was still afraid.
So he negotiated. He's like, don't send me out of here because I'm too afraid and whatever.
And then he goes, but how about I go to that city? And they're like, good idea.
And then he went to the city, but then he was too afraid to be there anyway.
(45:18):
And he and his two daughters dwelt in a cave. Now, okay, all right.
Buckle in, Brothers Grail. He's going to bang his daughters, isn't he?
Now the firstborn said to the younger, Our father is old, and there is no man
on the earth to come into us, as is the custom of all the earth.
(45:40):
Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him that we may
preserve the lineage of our father.
Do you follow? Yeah, what Bevan said. No.
They're going to do a raping. Yeah, they are. I thought Kevin was saying that
Lot would make love to his daughters, but they are claiming that they're going to rape him.
(46:03):
So, ready? I mean, essentially, no matter who starts it. Oh, it's weird all up.
But, okay, so in the history of humankind, do you think any daughter has ever
got their dad drunk and then had sex with them while they were drunk?
I guarantee it's happened. oh i'm not convinced i
(46:26):
don't know but anyway like there's a
lot of weirdness yeah you learn
about some murder and it's like some dude that's cutting people up and putting
their parts in a fridge there's a lot of weird shit out there i guess so but
i think it's possible but unlikely ah anyway so that spun me out so okay i'm
(46:50):
not saying that it's It's common.
And also, think about this too.
Previously, he was about to just hand them out to a boss. Yeah,
but now they're doing something nice for him.
So they've been brought up in this way that that's their job.
That's all they've got to offer.
You boys are surprising me a little bit with your reaction to this.
(47:11):
Oh, it's fucking fucked up. I'm waiting to see the fallout from it.
Because God wants to prove it at this point. God might be pulling it out.
I like how God hated the gays, right?
Yeah. I purposely said the gays, sorry. Yeah.
Going to burn this whole city because they want to have carnal troubles. Then go fuck your dad.
(47:32):
Yeah. And he's there. There's nothing. Why aren't they burning?
Angels went out of their way to save this motherfucker. Yeah.
He's the righteous one. Yeah. Yeah.
Technically, Lot's not doing anything. Okay. Let me finish this a little bit.
Yeah. They're kids though.
Why are they saving these kids? Lot is completely unaware of anything that's
(47:53):
going on. So, like you said last time, Kabeben, who wrote the book.
So, come let us make our father drink wine and we will lie with him.
So, they made their father drink wine that night and the firstborn went in and
lay with her father and he did not know when she lay down or when she arose.
It happened on the next day that the firstborn said to the younger,
(48:16):
indeed, I lay with my father last night.
Let us go and make him drink wine tonight
also and you go in and lie with
him and we may preserve the lineage of our father
then they made their father drink wine that night also and the younger arose
to lay with him and he did not know when she lay down or when she arose thus
(48:38):
both the daughters of lot were with child by their father he's potent yeah he
could be passed he could be He completely passed out, still getting erection.
He's rigid as fuck. Still smash out some, some in. And... He probably had a mullet I reckon.
Yes. The most powerful of positions to be in.
(49:01):
Luscious, blowing in the sandy wind. The most potent haircut.
Bit of a mustache going on.
That chest hair popping through his robe.
Oh, man. I bet she had a gold chain too.
Thus, both the daughters of Lot were with child by their father.
(49:21):
The firstborn bore a son and called his name Moab.
He is the father of Moabites to this day, and the younger, she also bore a son
and called his name Ben-Ami.
He is the father of the people of Amon to this day.
End of chapter 19. so I'd have presumably approved of what happened I mean their
(49:43):
lineage continued and you reckon is,
is is the whoever the father of the Moabites and
Amon are they just forever you know how Charters Towers gets called you know
or Tasmanians so they're just forever just the incestuous mob you know I wonder
if reckon these kids are just as fucked from conception as Ishmael It's just
(50:07):
like maybe one of those cases.
Well, the poor women, they mustn't have been allowed to have any free individual
thought of their own at all at this time, really. Hey, they would have had no power.
And if, like, I don't know, if to what you said before. We literally just told
the first story of a woman doing some rape. Two women.
(50:29):
They had a lot of individual thought and power in that situation,
apparently. Yeah, but they did it purely for their father's lineage to go on.
So it was to, I don't know, keep his power going. They took control.
They obviously thought he might have objected, otherwise they wouldn't have gone the wine route.
So best case scenario, they raped him. Yes.
(50:50):
But he was completely, like he had no idea, apparently.
I don't know how that works, but as in, I don't know how he got it.
And then he just went, you're pregnant? This must be a miracle.
Oh, he probably did. Yeah. Or, worst case, they just had to mintest baby and
sold it as the kid's tricking him.
Was there argument? Sorry, was there? With all the seed spreading nonsense,
(51:15):
right? So, they're like, oh, we're going to carry on dad's seed.
Put some more stars in the sky for dad. Yeah. Yeah. So, my part with that is,
is it because he has no sons or because they can't find any good men to make babies with?
You know what I mean? I reckon. What's the issue that he was the only option
for them to make babies? Well, he owns them.
(51:36):
And so they fled to the mountains. They fled to the mountains.
So how does he then sell them off to someone?
So are they just hiding in the mountains forever now? I think so.
That's like their place. Is they. How old are they? Oh.
I don't know if that's relevant, but I don't know. You have to be on for a bit.
So how has he only got four kids in.
(51:57):
I think they've gotten to be in it. it and he's like his own
civilization from just him and his daughters so he
has to learn it at some point lots got yeah lots got to be i think
lot is a similar age to abram because lots is nephew and
so you know it's got to be somewhat in the similar age range as as abram who
by the stage was what 100 100 or whatever he was last i remember they said he
(52:18):
was 100 so let's say lots i don't know 70 or 80 or something like that so their
age must be getting close to me you're You're obsessed with this apes thing, reduce an air.
Look, it's interesting because they started at 1,000, and 15 chapters in,
they've dwindled it down to 100.
Yeah. And now they've started. Well, we haven't actually, sorry,
(52:41):
Abraham has now evolved into Abraham Porkins.
He still hangs around for a bit. So I don't know how old he gets. He's not dead yet.
So we will get to how long he lives. My other point though, is currently we
can have a generation every 20 years. Yeah.
(53:01):
So, how is it they're getting to 100 and only having four kids and they're worried
about their bloodline being lost?
Well, maybe he only had daughters. So, up until that point, he had only had daughters.
But they're still going to push on his bloodline with other guys. They were stressed.
You know, like he was living up in the mountains. He was sad. He was lonely.
(53:24):
He didn't talk to any of potential other helpers.
He was, you know, he was a bit of a hermit. it they're like dad won't go yet
and dad won't even you know he won't even trim his mullet up or whatever you
know like he how's he going to go out and find a new wife i don't know you know
what i mean you just anyway it's interesting so i have one last thing just before we move on yeah,
(53:46):
do what are the chances god doesn't blow up any more cities ever again well
he flooded the whole world then he said he was never going to do anything like
that again he's buying i reckon he's gotta he's like i'm gonna kill you if you
eat this fruit and then he never then he backpedal And he's,
I'm going to kill you if you kill someone.
Oh, I'll protect you. And then he's just like, flood. Kaboom.
(54:06):
Kaboom. Cut them animals up. Burn them animals. Murder them. Yeah.
He's getting more angry. The sin, the early sin and ignoring of his threats,
that's what led to his weird animal corpse perversion.
Yeah. It just drove him mad. Yeah, he's getting slowly more fucking loose.
He's a mad guy. So I reckon that's actually a really good one.
(54:30):
Music.
Oh yeah, thanks Quindog. Look, we're interrupting right now because the captain,
Kabevin and I, we try a new segment.
It fails miserably, not because it's bad necessarily.
We just didn't really put the prep time into it. So we might revisit it later
(54:54):
if you're lucky. But instead of continuing, we might just work toward wrapping this episode six up.
The next one wasn't super exciting. So it might be a good one to start with next time.
Can I just say too, they turned the wife into salt because she looked back at the city. Yeah.
But then the rapists live on and rape in the mountains.
(55:16):
The daughter. Why did the wife die? Yeah. Why did she have to die?
Yeah. For looking at the city? Yeah. Because she wasn't running away quick enough.
But I thought they were already in the new town.
My understanding is because she kept looking back.
You know how when you're trying to get ready to go out for dinner and you're
helping. Women always take two.
Oh, I've just got to get this thing. Oh, I've got to do my fucking makeup and
(55:39):
shit. Lot's like, fuck, I'll meet you there.
You know? I reckon that's right. Anyway, all right. Brothers go.
We'll see you next time. See you, Logie. We're going to go watch the Cowboys smash the Titans.
Yeah, fucking yeah, mate. I'll be praying to Queen God. Have a good day.
Music.