July 13, 2024 • 60 mins
Hey friends! 🌟 In this episode of The Brothers Grail, we dive into an adventurous tale where Abraham sends his trusty servant on a mission to find a wife for his son, Isaac. Spoiler alert: there's thigh-grabbing, camel-watering, and a surprise nose ring! 🐫💍
Join us as we explore the hilarious and heartwarming journey of Rebecca, who leaves her home to become Isaac's bride. Trust us, you don't want to miss this one! Grab your favorite snack, sit back, and let's get into it! 🍿❤️
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
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The Brothers Grail acknowledges the Bindal and Wulgurukaba people of North Queensland
and the Wurundjeri people of Melbourne, the traditional owners of the land we record on today.
We pay our respects to Elders past, present and future.
We also recognise that Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders have been custodians
of the land, rivers and seas for at least 65,000 years and were the first storytellers.
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Music.
© transcript Emily Beynon Hello, hello, hello, and welcome again to the Brothers Grail.
We're up to, I believe, number eight, episode number eight this week on Quindog.
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I'm not doing that big, long, boring intro that I did the last couple,
because I think it was long and boring.
So welcome back. We're here with Captain and Combevan. Hello, Captain.
G'day, mate. mate what's doing little brother
just normal activities half warm
half cold well yeah we're appreciating you
on the because we can see your face we're appreciating the jumper
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the woolly jumper that you're wearing but we can also see your hairy manly chest
and nipples and yeah well it's possible that the hoodie will come off as well
i just got out of the shower i gave my dog a bath we had a shower together and
i put her in a new granny jumper riveting i'm glad i'm sure I'm sure everyone's glad to hear all that.
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Kebevin, what's doing? Nothing, just smashing kids at Monopoly.
Smashing kids at Monopoly, the best way to smash kids.
That's what I do. The powerful capitalism game of Monopoly. I am better at capitalism
than you are. Than your small children. Yeah.
Life lessons. Life lessons. Yeah. So, all right. So, we're back.
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It's actually been a real long time since we've actually physically sat down
and done these because the last one that we recorded, I reckon, was easy a month ago.
And then I got sidetracked trying to get it all online and getting up and running,
which we have now. and there's now been four episodes released,
I believe now. I'm sort of doing it every Sunday.
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We've had 100, a little over 100 listens and downloads, which is cool.
The first one was number one, had heaps, and, you know, there have been a lot
of people that know us and think we're good, listen to it, and then probably
just decided never to listen to it again because the rest of them are all in the teens.
I was curious. They're missing out on the good stuff. I think there's been some
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improvements. I think that, yeah. Yeah, I agree, Captain.
Although, I think episode one was, if we were to arbitrarily rate it out of 10, right?
We're never going to hit a 10. But let's arbitrarily rate episode one as a 4 out of 10.
I think episode two, three, and four dropped pretty dramatically because I think
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three and four, or maybe it's four and five are the ones where we got really, really drunk.
And we did a double recording, and that was pretty tough to listen to because
I've had to listen to all of them multiple times now.
But I get genuine laughs out of each one at different times.
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So I think we're doing okay as amateurs.
Beautiful. You just haven't really listened back to them much at all.
Once only. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then there's the captain's shirt. Quick.
Yeah, it's actually a bit warm. All right.
So we're caught up roughly. I'm up to as a reminder of what we talked about
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last time, boys, because it's been so long.
Last time we went through chapters 20, 21, and 22, which included Abraham and
Sarah scamming that other king. You know, was that the Ur king?
Yeah. Oh, no. I can't remember. But it was another king. Abimelech.
Abimelech. Abimelech. It was his name. And so they did another scam on a king
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and got some more goats and slaves. Yeah.
Then we chatted about, do you remember chatting about Hagar and Ishmael being
sent on their way with some bread and water?
Yes. I remember. I've forgotten, but I do. It was a sack of bread and something
of water. Yeah. To survive.
Yeah. And then that creepy- And what did we do for that again? Sorry?
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What was the reason for their leaving? They got an actual blood son,
so they didn't need him anymore.
Yeah. Sarah was done and dusted.
Yeah. Okay. She'd had enough of the ring in, even though she was the one originally
that offered Hagar up, if you recall.
Yeah, but then she found out she could get pregnant because of magic.
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Sarah was not happy with that. Because of magic.
And then we had that wonderful tale about Abraham packing his little baby boy
up, taking him up the mountain ready to sacrifice him, only for God to provide a ram at the last moment.
God And it was a trickle It was the vampire
That come in And wanted to Fuck the blood Yeah there
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were vampires That's right Was that Angels stopped them From sacrificing So
there was angels And then there happened To be a ram Caught in some Thistle
I think Yeah this one That's right And then they're like God did it It was God
Yeah But we thought That might have been God wanking In the In the thistle And just changed Turning So,
Well he might have Just been fucking the ram Yeah So we'll never know The truth
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really Maybe they were both together.
We're never going to know. He does love meat, God. He what? He loves meat.
He does. I mean, he likes meat when it's live too.
He does love his meat. And so this chapter, I started writing some notes,
but then I got distracted and didn't finish it.
But we do have Abraham Hawkins again in this chapter, our next couple of chapters. We've got Sarah.
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We spent a bit of time with one of Abraham's main servants.
He gets sent on a quest. We got Isaac, which is Sarah and Abraham's.
Official correct child. Correct child. Milka drops back in, and that's where
I got up to. So maybe there's some other stuff that goes on.
All right. So I think I'm ready to rip in.
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Are you boys ready to rip in? So ready. Yep. You sound very excited, Kabevan.
What did I say, you know? Keen for more Bible knowledge, you know?
All right. So we're going to start with chapter 23. It's pretty quick, this one.
Not a whole lot happens, maybe. maybe, so we'll just try to punch through it. So, chapter 23.
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Chapter 23. Chapter 23. It's a quick one.
Sarah lived 127 years. These were the years of the life of Sarah.
So, Sarah died in Kirjath Arba, that is Hebron, in the land of Canaan.
And Abraham came to mourn for Sarah and weep for her.
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So, they must have lived in separate tents. Can I just say, when you say this
is the life of someone to start their death. Yeah.
Yes, that is. And then introduce a bunch of locations that mean nothing to us.
That we may never hear about again.
We've heard Hebron, I think. But yeah, Kerjath and Arbryd, I don't think we've
heard before. But it's in Canaan.
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But yeah, this is the life of Sarah. She died.
Those sums are up pretty wholly. And we know she scammed a few people,
she brutalized a slave, and now she's dead.
So Abram came to mourn for Sarah and to weep for her.
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Then Abram stood up from before his dead and spoke to the sons of Heth,
saying, I am a foreigner and a visitor among you.
Give me property for a burial place among you, that I may bury my dead out of my sight.
And the sons of Heth answered Abraham, saying to him, Hear us,
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my lord. You are a mighty prince among us.
Bury your dead in the choicest of our burial places. None of us will withhold
from you this burial place, that you may bury your dead. Then Abraham.
I'll have to introduce everyone to our dogs one day. That was Ella.
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She's sad that Sarah's dead. That was, she's sad about it.
Now, Abraham stood up and bowed himself to the people of the land, the sons of Heth.
And he spoke with them, saying, If it is your wish that I bury my dead out of
my sight, hear me, and meet with Ephron, the son of Zohar, for me.
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Now, I don't know at all what that means.
That he may give me the cave of
mcpella which he has which is
at the end of this field let him give it to me at the full price as property
for a burial place among you so has he come in with a pre-made plan so he already
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knew he was going to hit up this zone this effron dude yeah he so So,
he knew exactly where he wanted to bury Sarah.
Is the dead just Sarah, or does he have a collection of dead to bury?
Just Sarah, I think. I'm guessing it's going to be going onward.
It's going to be a little fairly more spleen type deal. Oh, you reckon?
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Yeah. Yeah. So, in the back of his mind, he knew he wanted this cave.
Where was it? Cave at the end of the field or some shit.
So they just put him in a cage. They didn't bury him. Or did they bury him in the cave?
Yeah, bury him in the cave? I don't know. I suppose we'll get... It is saying bury.
The phrase out of my sight sticks out to me. It's a bit weird.
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Like, I just want to bury him. I can't look at him anymore.
I would not want to look at Sarah. I think she lives a pretty good life.
Not someone I'd be celebrating. But not for Abraham to be up on his high horse, is it?
No, no, no. She was an integral part of all of his scam. He needed her. That's right.
And you know what? Eventually, she did provide him a baby. So it took a while.
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So she wasn't living up to that end of the bargain. And just one, too.
Once she was good to go, wouldn't they just be pumping about yearly? Yeah, but she was old.
She was barren, barren, barren. Then she was really, really old.
Was she 100? Yeah. Somewhere in there. 27 years.
She got 27 years to hunt out more babies. It's your job, get amongst it. Good to work, Sarah.
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So she was older than 127, so the life-lengthening shortening is well and truly kicking in.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it definitely is.
Maybe Abram's twine up loose ends. Maybe, like, because she was the scammer.
She's one of the last people that know, because Lot's gone, isn't he? Lot's gone.
And so Sarah still knows about the scams. And she's like, oh,
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someone could get her to talk. Out of sight. Out of sight. Yeah.
Has he got no more scams to do then? Because he's out of people to help him.
And I don't know if he's very good at that. But now he's a prince or some shit.
Oh, he's a prince of God or whatever. And they want to give him land.
They, like, will give everything to you. You are a man.
He doesn't have an ability to get people to just do exactly what he needs them to do. He does.
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Because he just tells them that God is on his team. And then they go, oh, okay. Oh, bugger.
I can't pretend to be speaking to God and just say the same thing.
That's way too difficult.
So, and I saw it, that he may give me the cave of Machpelah,
which he has, which is at the end of his field.
Let him give it to me at the full price as property for a burial place among you.
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Now Ephron dwelt among the sons of Heth, and Ephron the Hittite answered Abram
in the presence of the sons of Heth, all who entered at the gate of his city,
say, so this dude's running a city.
No, my Lord, hear me. I give you the field and the cave that is in it.
I give it to you in the presence of the sons of my people. I give it to you. Bury your dead!
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So he's being very definite. Then Abraham bowed himself down before the people
of the land, and he spoke to Ephron in the hearing of the people of the land. He wants witnesses.
In the hearing of the people of the land, saying, If you will give it, please hear me.
I will give you money for the field. Take it from me, and I will bury my dead
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there. This is just an annoying back to fort. What are we talking about?
And Ephron answered Abraham, saying to him, My lord, listen to me.
The land is worth 400 shekels of silver.
What is that between you and me? So bury your dead. So they're both just like, ah.
No, no, you take it. No, no, no, you take it. I'm so rich. You just take that field.
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And what's 400 shekels? I'm assuming that's quite a lot of money.
Maybe it's a bit of a pissing contest.
I got more slaves and money than you. And they're definitely doing it in front
of people to show off. Like, I've got heaps of money. What are you talking about?
I've got a field I can give away. I don't need that. I assume that Abraham has
a plan to get something worth a lot more than the shekel.
You're just going to take over. My scam artist is going to take over the whole city. Yeah.
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I will pay you for it. Is this the first actual land that Abraham gets?
Because you know how we've been going, he's just been wandering around the place,
living in other people's places. Is this the first actual land he gets?
Well, I thought that's... What did the last episode end with?
Because I was saying something like...
Didn't him and the king shake hands over a well and that was some land or something?
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Oh, he did get some. Yeah, I thought of it like now he's kind of like got to
where his land is. Yeah, okay. So now he's just in monopoly mode.
Yeah, so I think he's like, yeah, sure, mate, you can give me some shekels if
you want, but I already own this land because God gave it to me.
No, no, no. The dude's saying, pay me, Abraham, pay me 400 shekels.
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I thought Abraham was saying, no, I'm not paying you.
And the dude's like, no, you should take payment. so abraham
is saying i want to pay you another dude's like
yeah what's that between friends take it i don't care
about the money yeah and they're fighting over abraham wanting
to pay it and old mate trying to be a big doll and my argument is that abraham
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thinks he already owns it and so he's just like don't give me money because
i'm just entitled to it yeah he's so he's just doing it for the for the like
for the show because he's already
saying he's already got He has no intention of not owning that land.
All right. So we'll see. What is 400 shekels between you and me?
It's like the billionaires of the time just swinging their dicks in front of each other.
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And Abraham listened to Ephron, Zac Efron, and Abraham weighed out the silver for Zac Efron,
which he had named in the hearing of the sons of Heth, 400 shekels of silver,
currency of the merchants.
So the field of Efron, which was in Machpelah, which was before Mamre,
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I think we've talked about Mamre, the trees of Mamre or something,
so we've been there before.
Which was before Mamre, the field and the cave which was in it,
and all the trees that were in In the field, I don't know how you'd take the
field without the trees, which were within all the surrounding borders were deeded.
So you've got a field, the trees, a cave within the surrounding borders. How big is this field?
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I don't know, but this just seems like the most stupid story.
This could have been like two lines. Yeah.
Him and the dude negotiated some land. And a cave. Deprived the land.
Done. Shook hands, paid money, done.
They were deeded to Abraham as a possession in the presence of their sons of
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Heth before all who went in at the gate of his city.
And after this, Abraham buried Sarah, his wife, in the cave of the field of
Machpelah before Memorah, that is in Hebron, in the land of Canaan.
So the field of the cave just goes around and around.
So the field of the cave that is in it were deeded to Abraham by the sons of
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Heth as property for burial place. End of chapter 23.
Wow, so that whole chapter was just... The editor should have cut that one out,
I reckon. just cut it entirely.
That's not a chapter. That is about as long as the invention of the universe, though. Yeah.
What do we say about that? And to be in the Bible, what is the point of that?
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What do we learn biblically from that? I don't understand.
Maybe this burial place is going to be significant. Oh, maybe.
It's not a burial place unless someone else significant gets put there.
Nah. Well, maybe Abram goes eventually when he dies, because we'll get there
at some point. Maybe he ends up back there.
So, all right, that was chapter 23. That was easy, easy to get through. Now, look.
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Chapter, chapter, chapter 21.
Now, Abraham was old, well advanced in age, and the Lord had blessed Abraham in all things.
So, Abraham said to the old.
What are you laughing at? blessed him in all things.
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Just very broad. It is pretty broad. And we all know that that was just Abraham
saying that, hey. He just was telling people that.
The last chapter was him negotiating about a cave and,
And then this one is just like, yeah, he was blessed in all things.
Well, let's face it, right?
Think of it this way. He's lived a hundred and whatever years,
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gone to multiple cities, pulled the same, like, what's the word I want?
Scam? Scam, yeah, that's the one I want. I'm sure there's better words, but scam's good.
But he's essentially made himself into a prince. They called him a prince just then.
I'm guessing he didn't start off with money. When he left.
He's got slaves. He's got multiple kids roaming around. He had slaves from the
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start, though, didn't he?
He only left the first town he did. He left with his family and his slaves.
So he's been blessed his whole life. He's been the Midas touch.
Everything he touches turns to gold.
Yeah, I guess he is blessed in that sense. He's just like, one of you said it
last week, he's just the lucky, that lucky character.
Yeah. He's like Inspector, he's get smart, or he's Inspector Gadget,
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just a fool that everything works out for.
But with a little bit more like of a sinister vibe.
Yeah, it feels a little sinister. Sinister biblical vibe.
All right, so sorry. This is literally the absolute longest chapter,
and you've already one sentence in, we've been distracted.
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So, blessed in all things. So Abraham said to the oldest servant of his house,
who ruled over all that he had, please put your hand under my thigh. Fuck.
What a start.
And just jiggled it around a little bit it was his servant.
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It was his oldest servant of his house. So this is the main dude.
He ran everything for him. So he's the main dude.
We're going to get a bit more detail on him, so I should pay attention to his
name if I can. I don't know if we ever learn his name. No, we're not.
Yeah, okay. He's the best servant he has. He's just his fire servant so far.
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Please put your hand under my thigh, And I will make you swear by the Lord,
the God of heaven and the God of the earth,
that you will not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites among whom I dwell.
So is that where you swear? You put your hand on people's thigh?
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That's what we do now forever.
No more pinkies. No hand on heart. No pinky promises. No blood brother, spit brother.
We're just going to hand on bottom of thigh. I'm going to, like,
I promise the Brothers Brown right now, one day I will be at the pub and I will
be in my charismatic zone.
It's going to happen. And I will say to some random stranger,
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like, we might be having a debate.
Just so you're aware, this is going to be on the downhill slope of your charismatic zone. It will.
It will. And I'm going to be the time for jail.
I'm going to get to a point where I want to make a promise with some random
stranger and I'll go, No, please put your hand under my thigh.
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That's when I get punched in the head, yeah. Ball is running under the field.
They're promising. Every time they slap that ass. Slap that ass.
I promise you I'll play well. I promise you I'll play well.
It's not an appropriate time to do that.
So, all right. So just to say, I'm going to clarify what I think just happened.
So Abraham is saying to his old servant, He's just cupping his balls,
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and he's saying to him, make sure that my son does not marry a woman from the land of Canaan.
Yeah. Right? That's all he's saying. I thought he was getting the servant to
promise not to take any wives from the batch that his son could have. Oh, no. Yeah.
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Every woman that you see is only for my son. That's what I thought.
No, no, no. That's not what I read. No, because they're in the job right now.
Or they've got to assign a wife.
Pick a successor. Yeah, yeah. And so he's just saying, hey, old servant.
Just make sure you don't get a wife from here, right? Get someone with big milker. Big milkers?
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You heard, oh, that's where you think we're going.
Because I said milkers in this
episode. Honestly, it was just in my head because you said it. Okay. Okay.
Okay. So, among the Canaanites from Himalaya 12. But you shall go to my country
and to my family and take a wife for my son Isaac. What?
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So, yeah. Yeah, he's advocating, not like immediate family incest,
but he's advocating like cousin, you know, from my family.
You've got to go home to my family. But also, I've gone to this other place
to take land, but I don't like the people here.
Go get some from the good place and bring them back. My original people.
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With that, I just wanted to say as well, he was also just telling his helper,
go round up a woman for my man. Yeah.
You know what I mean? It's just like, hey, mate, your job is to go and collect
some woman and say, come back and marry some dude.
Which, if Prince and all of that stuff, he's probably a good dude to get offered, to be fair.
A self-proclaimed prince, but yeah, that's right. But the woman don't get no
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say in none of this shit. They're just going to Woolies.
Pick up a woman. Go and pick up a wife.
Been sent off by a henchman.
Don't even have to tell yourself, get the henchman, let's do it.
Yeah, well, he's obviously higher than the normal slaves if he's got that kind of job.
Yeah, he's the main doer.
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So that slave, he gets to boss around the other slaves.
So he's, by default, got his own slaves, really. Yeah, I'd say he levels up
that henchman rather than being a slave.
Okay, how do I know a henchman's voice?
I don't fucking know. Maybe they were in a hood, their scale or something like that.
I can't, like, Germans are the, like, the stereotypical villains, aren't they?
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Anyway, I probably won't do that because I don't know how to do a German thing.
You haven't really known how to do any of the other ones you've done either.
It's true. Yeah, I may as well just have a crack anyway.
Oh, fuck me. No, no, no. All right.
And the servant said to him, I nearly did a vampire.
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The servants said to him, perhaps, I don't know. Perhaps. You do it, Igor.
Yes, man. Perhaps. I think it works. Go with it. Go with it?
Perhaps the woman will not be willing to follow me to this land.
Must I take your son back to the land from which you came?
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So he said, do I take your son with me or do I just go and just snatch your chip?
But Abraham said to him, Beware that you do not take my son back there, the good Lord of heaven,
who took me from my father's house and from the land of my family,
and who spoke to me and swore to me, saying, To your descendants,
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I give this land, he.
It's too good a try.
He he will send his angel before you and you shall take a wife for my son from
(25:16):
there so he's going to send an angel one of the investigating angels i can't
wait for a conversation between him and the angels,
i can't wait until he invites a woman back All right, so I'll compose myself.
So we're following so far. So he doesn't want Isaac to go with him,
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but somehow an angel's going to go ahead, I think. Send his angel before you.
All right. Add mystical god power to the mission, basically.
Vampire power. And if the woman is not willing to follow you,
then you will be released from this oath.
Only do not take my son back there.
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So, the servant put his hand under the thigh of Abram, his master,
and swore to him concerning this matter.
So, yeah, this is definitely something we've got to introduce to the world. I swear.
Bye, Smears. Bye, Bum.
Chapter's off to a good start, I would say. Sorry? Chapter's off to a good start.
(26:21):
It is. I'm glad this one keeps up this quality.
It is pretty exciting. Certainly a 10 out of 10 versus the last one.
And if the woman is not willing to, don't presume it. So the servant put his
hand under the fire. Sorry.
Then the servant took 10 of his master's camels and departed,
for all his master's goods were in his hand.
And he arose and went to Mesopotamia, to the city of Nahor, I've vagued out
(26:48):
on my map, so I'm going to have to get back and fix all that up.
But I believe, well, back to where he was, back to the Euphrates River, basically.
This is one of the main places that comes up a bit, right? Yeah, yeah.
So where am I? Nohor. And he made his camels kneel down outside the city by
a well of water at evening time, the time when women go out to draw water.
(27:14):
So he's already at this place.
Rosen went to, so there's no story about the travel. No, there isn't.
No. He said, we're immediately on the outskirts of this town that he decided to go to.
Where was I again? And he made the camels kneel down outside the city of Agua
when the women go out to draw water.
So that's the jobs of the helpers in that town, obviously.
(27:37):
Then he said, oh, Lord of God, oh, Lord God of my master Abraham,
please give me success this day and show kindness to my master, Abraham.
Behold here, I stand by the well of water, and the daughters of the men of the
city are coming out to draw water.
(27:58):
I don't know how Darren Wilkie talks like this all the time.
I think he doesn't have a choice.
Now let it be that the young woman to whom I say, please let down your pitcher
that I may drink, and she says, drink, and I will also give your camels a drink.
Let her be the one whom you have appointed for your servant Isaac.
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So Isaac's the boy, obviously, that they're trying to find a wife for.
And by this, I will know that you have shown kindness to my master.
Yeah? So there's nothing controversial there?
He's just got to acquire a woman who helps him drink and nourishes his cows.
I was kind of hoping he'd stuff all into a sack and then write it into the assistance.
(28:46):
That's fucking just kidding.
You're doing an evil character, man. It is the first woman he's come across on the journey, though.
Or, in the skipping of the travel, did he secretly come across many potential
helpers and they just didn't meet his quality?
But then the camel lady was just, he just knew at first glance she was the one.
(29:10):
Well, he's not in the area that Abraham wanted him to be until now.
He's now, he's, like, all the travel women.
Yeah, all the travel women. Is she the first person he's come across, though?
Is that what you reckon? second well he hasn't seen any women just yet
he's just he's he's he's camped outside the the
town and then he's just put some unreal or unreasonable
rules upon what this woman should be you know how men do that oh okay yeah i
(29:37):
want my woman to be hot i want her to be a great cook i want her to do whatever
to my body whenever i want you know he's this should just got to be this really
above board Excellent point.
But the henchmen's come up with this list.
Yeah. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so, I've appointed to your servant Isaac.
(30:00):
And by this, I will know you have shown kindness to my master.
And it happened before he had finished speaking that, behold,
Rebecca, who was born to Bethuel, son of Milcah.
The wife of I'm wondering if Rebecca had big milkers too it's a strong line.
(30:25):
Abraham's wife of Nahor, Abraham's brother. So, this is the...
I don't know how to figure out exactly who this is.
So, this is Rebecca, who was the son... Oh, sorry.
Rebecca, who was born to Bethuel, son of Milcah, the wife of Nahor, Abraham's brother.
So, what's that, like a second cousin or something? I don't know what that is, but it's pretty close.
(30:45):
And by this point, they have cities and shit, like enough that they've got slaves
that aren't family members.
So like there you
could go a bit further out at this point pretty comfortably rather
than deliberately going back to your family yeah yeah like it seems like they're
obviously in the new city he's just rejected them as people and he doesn't think
(31:06):
they're pure or whatever the filth yeah the land that he got sent to as god's
land no one there is good enough yeah so this is god's His chosen to go back,
but then I still think within the place they went back to,
there was enough variety in people.
He could have gone further than two cousins. Yes.
(31:28):
Surely he could have found some hottie that would feed his camels somewhere else.
Yeah. Wait, they're the prince. They're taking over the whole fucking country.
Maybe other families wouldn't do the feeding camels thing then.
Maybe their family is the only righteous one. Yeah, the good ones. Yeah.
Now, the young woman was very beautiful, but to behold, a virgin,
clearly, is hot like tick, tick, tick, tick, a virgin, no man had known her,
(31:54):
and she went down to the well, filled her pitcher, and came up.
You reckon she's made any sacred promises with some of that thigh action with anyone there?
Can you put your hand on my thigh and promise me that you're a virgin?
I reckon the henchman will try it. Higher, higher, faster, slower.
(32:15):
You just stay still. I'll jump. Yeah, I'll jump.
Yeah, that means it's not, you're not being, like you're allowed to give head.
Is that what you're saying?
Yeah, you don't lose your virginity if you just give head.
Yeah, just rules. Yeah, so you can wipe me off.
What does she do with the, she doesn't melt the camels, does she?
(32:37):
What took you there? Blanket actions.
Maybe that's why they wanted a camel girl.
Oh fucking hell,
and and the servant ran to meet her and said please let me drink a little water
(32:59):
from your pitcher so she said drink my lord then she quickly let her pitcher
down to her hand and gave him a drink.
And when she finished giving him a drink, she said, I will draw water for your
camels also, until they have finished drinking.
Then she quickly emptied her pitcher into the trough, ran back to the well to
(33:22):
draw water, and drew for all his camels.
And the man wondering at her remained silent, so as to know whether the Lord
had made his journey prosperous or not.
So it was, when the camels had finished drinking, that the man took a golden
nose ring, weighing half a shekel, and two bracelets for her wrists,
weighing ten shekels of gold, and said, I said, whose daughter are you?
(33:46):
Tell me, please, is there room in your father's house for us to lodge?
So she said to him, I am the daughter of Bethuel, Milka's son, whom she bore to Nahor.
It's very informal. I really thought he was going to be like, here, we want to buy you.
I do think that's what that was. It is? I thought it was for lodging.
(34:06):
And I would imagine if he's offered up money to her, She wants to make her lineage
sound as fucking cool as possible.
So I think it makes sense for her dropping the whore at Milka.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because clearly they're pretty famous.
The middle man is like, mate, tell me what your fucking family is.
And offering me money, and that seems like a normal behavior,
(34:27):
then, yeah, I'd just tell them everything that I could do to get that money.
Yeah, it makes sense. Because she's trying to sell. Because she knows what her job is.
Her job is to find a man to get married to, really. And if they got a coin,
yeah, that's the ones you want. And yeah.
So whose daughter are you? Tell me how for us to lodge. So she said, I'm daughter of Boaz.
(34:49):
Moreover, she said to him, we have both straw and feed enough and room to lodge.
Then the man bowed down his head and worshipped the Lord.
And he said, blessed be the Lord God of my master, Abraham, who has not forsaken
his mercy and his truth toward my master.
As for me, being on the way, the Lord led me to the house of my master's brethren.
(35:15):
So I guess he's just going like, yeah, fuck yeah. Without even trying,
I've gone straight back to the exact people that Abraham wants me to find.
Part of that child class. He'll be gone, mate. Be gone. Yeah.
Angel. an angel secretly led him on a lead to where he needed to be just mystical
cool maybe it's the angel that went ahead and like just make sure you're that
(35:36):
well tomorrow yeah yeah yeah yeah and hey little girl you need I don't know how,
vampire voice come on what are the capitals now you'll get the good outcome
did you did you hear Kebevan then captain no,
vampire voice dude come on no I don't know,
That's why I took all the notes on the movie because I'll take notes.
(36:02):
I'm not going to act out scenes.
You forced Kebevan to act when you did your thing that other time. What was that thing?
Hot bitches or whatever? Thinking about hot bitches. Thinking about hot bitches.
House of my brothers, my master's brother. So the young woman ran and told her
mother's household these things.
(36:24):
Now, Rebecca had a brother whose name was Laban, Laban.
Sorry, I said it twice in a row. It's one word, Laban, or I don't know how to say it.
And Laban ran out to the man by the well.
So it came to pass when he saw the nose ring and the bracelets on his sister's wrists.
I think that they're ownership. That she had been purchased.
(36:47):
Like they're claiming. She pierced.
Like is a nose ring what it sounds like? Sounds like, well, sounds like nose
ring, everyone just had a nose ring. Yeah, must have done.
That was a non-event, hey. So God's on board with piercing us.
But only as a sign of being bought by a henchman. Well, she must have already had the nose ring.
Maybe she's, because she's wearing them. Yeah, like he gave it to her and she's
(37:10):
wearing it. Yeah, anyway.
Yeah, see, she must have been pre- Maybe he even was nice enough to pierce her as well.
Oh, he pierced, he grabbed my thigh and don't say a thing.
He's fully prepared for the mission. If part of the mission is he is the girl
and put a ring in it, then he's a henchman ready.
He's not like providing a ring. A full assorted man. He's got a ring.
(37:33):
Red of the house. Laban by the well. So it came to pass when he saw the nose
ring and the bracelets on his sister's wrists.
And when he heard the words of his sister, Rebecca, saying, thus,
the man spoke to me that he went...
Thus the man spoke to me, that he went to the man, and there he stood by the camels at the well.
(37:57):
So Laban's just ran out to talk to the henchman, and he said,
Come in, O blessed of the Lord.
Why do you stand outside? For I have prepared the house and a place for the camels.
I don't know. I've got him sort of – He's a little bit doughy and he's a bit – Oofish.
Just a little brother. He's got the hot big sister and the camels.
(38:21):
And then the man came to the house and he unloaded the camels and provided straw
and feed for the camels and water to wash his feet and the feet of the men who were with him.
Food was set out before him to eat, but he said, I will not eat until I have told about my errand.
And he said, speak on. I'm not really sure who said speak on.
(38:42):
Maybe it was speak on. I don't know who said that.
Speak on. Just cycle through every voice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Speak on. Speak on.
The vampire just popped in. Speak on, henchman.
And he said, I am Abraham's servant. They can't have known. Just look at me
(39:02):
right now. They don't know who the fuck Abraham is.
He's Abram. Oh.
They're like, well, they've got to be going, hang on a minute.
He was no ham when he left. Yeah.
The Lord has blessed my master greatly, and he has become great.
And he has given him flocks and
herds and silver and gold, male and female servants, camels and donkeys.
(39:28):
And Sarah, my master's wife, bore a son to my master when she was old.
Like weird detail to add in there. Yeah.
He's asking for some breeding assistance
is what he's begging for he's like mate we need
some breeding going down it's a good young it's
actually like very topical that he's discussing the breeding situation he just
(39:53):
summed up like a hundred years in two lines and that last chapter was fucking
a day in a hundred lines what the fuck come on guys get your priorities right storytellers.
And Sarah's master, when she was old, And to him he has given all that he has.
(40:14):
Now my master made me swear, saying, You shall not take a wife for my son from
the daughters of the Canaanites, in whose land I dwell, but you shall go to
my father's house and to my family and take a wife for my son. And I said to my master,
Perhaps the woman will not follow me. But he said to me, The Lord,
(40:34):
the Lord, before whom I walk, will send.
Was that him doing the voice of Abraham? I was trying to do the henchman doing the hissy voice.
But the Lord, before whom I walk, will send his angel with you and prosper your way.
And you shall take a wife for my son from my family and from my father's house.
(40:59):
You will be clear from this oath when you arrive among my family,
for if they will not give her to you, then you will be released from my oath.
He's good at summarizing. Yeah, you're right. He just nailed all of that story.
Yeah, but that last part got super wordy. Yeah, okay. But yeah.
Not quite a voice, to be honest, but we already heard.
(41:20):
And on this day, I came to the well and said, Oh, Lord, Lord of my master Abraham,
if you will now prosper, The way in which I go, behold, I stand by the well
of water, and it shall come to pass that when the virgin comes out to draw water,
and I say to her, please give me a little water from your pitcher to drink.
And she says to me, she says to me, drink and draw your camels.
(41:43):
There's nothing to supply you. Master's son.
Fucking hell. Is this just him saying God basically told me this is exactly
what would happen, and then it kind of happened, so now I've got to take her with me?
Is that what's? I guess the weird thing is we've literally
just read about that in the thing and now he's just
retelling the same story so we've got to read it twice ironically I
(42:03):
guess yeah that's a terrible reading experience but is
he literally just saying to this family look I was told
this is what would happen and then that's just what the world provided me was
a virgin and in a camel watering situation this is why you should definitely
agree to me taking this girl away 100% yes They're sitting across the table
(42:24):
They're sitting across the table going Good point,
Henchman I reckon that's how hard You're definitely laying on the right foot
He tells them what's going to happen And then it happens and they're like, what?
Magic It must be It must be God doing this shit.
Um, but before I had finished speaking in my heart, there was Rebecca coming
(42:46):
out with her picture on her shoulder and, uh, please let me drink.
And she made haste and the picture on her shoulder drink, I will give a daughter of Bethuel.
Then I asked her, and then so he's just repeating everything she said.
So he's then telling her them stuff that they already know too.
The daughter of Bethuel, my whole son, Milka here, nose ring,
bracelets, about the award god of my master and my master's brother for his son.
(43:09):
Now if you will deal kindly and truly with my master tell me and if not tell
me that I may turn to the right hand or to the left.
Alright no wonder this is a very long chapter as they repeat they repeat they
(43:30):
repeat then Laban and Bethuel answered and said the thing comes Abraham's...
I nearly turned vampire.
I forget his voice. Fuck it. This is fucked.
The thing comes from the Lord and we cannot speak to you, either good or bad.
Here is Rebecca before you. Take her and go. Let her be your master's son's
(43:52):
wife as the Lord has spoken. So that didn't fucking... That didn't fucking happen.
And it came to pass when Abraham's servant heard their words that he worshipped
the Lord, bowing himself to the earth.
Then the servant brought out jewelry of gold and clothing and gave them to Rebecca.
(44:14):
He also gave precious things to her brother and to her mother.
So he's buying them, obviously.
And her brother and her mother said, let the young woman stay with us a few days, at least 10.
After that, she may go. I forgot the voice in tongue. And he said to them,
do not hinder me since the Lord has prospered my way.
(44:36):
Send me away so that I may go to my master.
So they said, we will call the young woman and ask her personally.
So that's a revelation. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, so Rebecca gets a say in the go here.
Only what time she leaves though, right? Not about getting sold or...
(44:57):
You can have a few more days if you want.
Yeah, you're definitely being sold. Yeah.
I mean, we got nose rings, man. You're getting out of here.
You can't go back. Things or whatever that came true.
You can't go back on a nose ring gift. Yeah. You just can't do it.
Thigh promises and nose ring deals, they're in concrete, man.
(45:18):
That's it. ask her personally then they called Rebecca and said to her will
you go will you go with this man and she said I will go,
so they sent away Rebecca and her sister and her nurse and Abraham's servant
and his men so the whole you want to check with her thing seems pointless too
(45:41):
because she just went okay no I'm gone well I mean they've got gold and silver
and what have these fools got Yeah.
Go get water, bitch. Yeah, she's a gold digger. I'm saying she's a gold digger.
And she probably can't earn much money for them either.
She's not going to breach. All she is is a burden to them.
Yeah. Well, she goes and gets the water. But did they send her?
(46:02):
Did they give away a nurse? What was it? A nurse and another sister.
Yeah. So maybe they're like, look, we can make some money from this. Let's send a few more.
Yeah. Yeah. They didn't even ask for more nose rings when they gave the sister
away. way it's a group it's a group deal they're like look guys go get some
shit back just go get it all go and let someone else pay for you yeah what they're saying right.
(46:25):
I don't know about the nurse, though. Make sure you show lots of angle.
Why does Rebecca, I'm assuming a full-grown fucking...
Is she... Does she have some health issues?
What does she need a nurse for? Maybe every helper gets a free nurse.
Every helper gets a... It's a two-for-one bargain coupon. But aren't all nurses helpers, too?
Is she not, like, a future queen, essentially?
(46:48):
Like, isn't there Princeton shit going on? If they're setting up some kind of kingdom,
them then she's a she's the queen future
queen you want her in mint health and if she turns out to be barren you want
to get rid of her pretty quick you don't want to waste any time with that action
you know but the way i read this she had a nurse before they knew she was going
(47:09):
to be a queen before she got fly grabbed and got the nose ring so she already had a nurse,
so is she is she the actual oaf can't you
know doesn't know how to get through life without out a
nurse beautiful people can't be oafs so yeah
she didn't even think twice she's like no i'm out of here i don't want
to hang with laban anymore he's a fucking unit and they
(47:31):
blessed rebecca and said to her our sister may you become the mother of thousands
of ten thousands and may your descendants possess the gates of those who hate
them like go and steal cities i guess i don't Then Rebecca and her maids,
so now there's fucking maids,
arose and they rode on the camels and followed the man that they met,
(47:54):
what, four hours ago, whatever the fuck?
Followed the man. So the servant took Rebecca and departed. Now,
without any intermission or any extra words, we just fucking immediately meet Isaac.
That's the son. Yeah. So we're way back in the other end of the country or whatever.
(48:15):
And Isaac went to, this is a sweet moment.
I'm imagining Hugh Grant in my brain, to be honest with you. How old is this cunt?
Or is it like a baby Hugh Grant?
He might be just seven. I don't know. Yeah, maybe. Well, I'm imagining that
he's at least 18 or something.
No, I reckon it would be like 10. You reckon he's... About ready to take a wife,
(48:39):
you know? About ready to... Okay.
How do I do a little... I'm soie with my wife.
Like, I'm trying to be a little boy voice. Don't do that. Don't do that.
That's Isaac, isn't it? Soie. Soie.
And... I need a bit of a normal voice, I think.
And and isaac went out to mediate
oh sorry not mediate sorry very different meaning
(49:02):
when isaac went out to meditate in the
field in the evening and he lifted his eyes and
looked and there and there the camels
were coming then rebecca lifted her eyes and when
she saw isaac she dismounted from her camel for she
had said to the servant who is this
man walking in the field to meet us the servant
(49:24):
said it is my master so she took a
veil and covered herself so i
guess that means other people are allowed to look at
her but maybe her betrothed husband is
not allowed to look at her i guess i don't know can't see the husband she's
the one that cared more about it like if the servants are
good serving as i don't think he is if it
(49:46):
really mattered he would have fucking made sure it's happened he came pretty
scared with the nose rings and stuff so he had the veil ready to drop on her
well no i well she's the one i was like oh who's that and she worked it out
if if it really mattered i feel like he would have just been like boy my master
demeans you put this on your fucking head.
(50:07):
Slips a bag on a bit late in the kidnapping to slip a bag around,
it's not a bag it's a veil a veil okay it's never
too late for the bag if it's too late to slip the
bag over and the servant
told us like all the things he had done so i'm glad that
that's how they summarized it rather than him going back through and going i
said to the thing and will she drink the water and then wouldn't that be amazing
(50:31):
if maybe that would have told us the story of what happened in between on both
travel missions like you're gonna oh yeah i succeeded in my mission by doing
your travels i came across i don't know You know, the villagers that I had to kill or something.
It was a big alligator that we had to, yeah. Yeah. That would have been cool.
Then Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent, and he took Rebecca,
(50:55):
and she became his wife. He took her, so I think that means they fucked.
In his mother's tent? Holy fuck. Hang on. Isn't she dead?
Oh, she is dead. So he's just sleeping in mummy's tent.
Don't miss you, mummy. I need a new woman to replace you, mummy.
Oh, no. You're selling me on the sookie extra whiny baby voice.
(51:17):
Well, I think, because I have read ahead a little bit, and I do now recall I
was planning on doing Isaac's voice the same as Abrams because he's just a motherfucking whiny bitch.
Yeah, if you can add a bit of baby tone to it as well. Oh, shit.
I thought that's what you were trying to do the whole time. I'm against it.
You're against it. I don't need more of that.
(51:38):
The other ones make me laugh. The guy is a little bitch. He's sleeping in mummy's bed.
Yeah. I think I'm all in on that voice.
I'm a little boy is that the one I think the henchmen have always worked out
perfect and the O-Fed was good because it was a short-lived character,
(52:02):
okay so he brought him to his mother's tent and he took Rebecca and she became
his wife and he loved her so Isaac was comforted after his mother's death yes
he fucking just needed a Sarah replacement,
it is exactly like oh such a fucking little
movie boy him so that is the end of chapter 24 so
a very long chapter but that was i enjoyed that chapter yeah it
(52:24):
was great there was so much so much in there to pull
apart and even the horrific parts weren't disgusting you
know like they were but yeah yeah they were they were sort of you could laugh
at it yeah they were sort of like um under like the undertone was disgusting
but everything else was like oh she was just happy to go with him and she wanted
it yeah there's no doubt like Like she was deep into some hobby or friendship
(52:48):
group back home that she needed to stay with.
Yeah. Yeah, she wasn't as part of a local band or something and had to go and say bye to everyone.
Yeah, she had no one to say goodbye to. It was just her family. Just leave them.
And they're like, do you want to go now or later? Now. Now, yeah,
I'm good to go. And that was it. See you guys.
Catch you cunts. I've got a nose ring. I'm good. Yeah.
(53:10):
Couple of bracelets and nose ring and you're off to go. It takes some of the
other annoying slaves with you.
Take the annoying slams with you. Take that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're gone. We don't need you anymore. Go back. Go and become a queen and be
powerful so we can sort of maybe suckle off your teeth.
But also take some shit cunts with you on the way.
(53:31):
Well, they were obviously a family that was planning to, like,
get involved. Like, they seem a bit political. Like, they were prepared for
this kind of arrangement.
Do you reckon they were dealing with the angels on the sly?
Well, mate, you just said they gave them some servants, right?
Yes. mates a nurse list prepared
you know like i i feel like they moved
(53:54):
on that pretty quickly that's like that would take me a little
bit longer if i was handing over some of my
servants yeah like so rebecca gave it away a bit because she was far too eager
she could have like she could have been a bit more coy or something like oh
i think they could have got so much more out of there and some cattle get some
yeah she's no way that's what she's just been trained to be a whole lot.
(54:17):
It's like, oh, yeah, cool. It's just where it finally ended.
So maybe the whole family and lineage is pretty high class.
Because this lot all have slaves and whatnot.
He wandered for a while doing his little scams and ended up as a prince.
So maybe he was always some high class aristocrat. Yeah, because he left with
(54:40):
slaves and animals and stuff.
Yeah, maybe you're right. Or maybe, God, everyone just had fucking slaves.
Maybe if you're just like, everyone from being super loaded fucking kings and
shit, right? So that's obvious. They're going to have slaves.
But maybe even just middle class families, because as soon as a helper has no
(55:00):
man to be their boss, they need someone to live with them. Otherwise,
they're just going to get raped and murdered somewhere.
So they go like, I'll be your servant and I'll come and live in your house.
And so maybe it was just everyone had fucking slaves. everyone who wasn't a
slave if that's the case though it's quite telling that none of the main characters
(55:21):
are slaves you know what i mean like it's like they weren't chosen to be good.
It's like oh yeah you're just like you're you are just a helper like none of
them became i don't know well maybe it happened later well they don't even name
the slaves so you're saying None of the slaves lift themselves to become a main character.
(55:42):
Well, no, like, depends what you say main character, but like,
I'm like the ones talking to God, like the ones that are like Noah and Abraham and shit like that.
I get the impression that none of them started out as a servant.
Yeah, I would agree with that. It didn't tell me what God prioritizes in who
he cares about. Lineage. Lineage.
(56:03):
And really, the main slaves so far have stayed slaves the whole time. So there's Hagar.
She was a slave. Well, she got booted. She did get booted. So maybe she eventually
didn't. Like, she wasn't a slave in the end. Maybe that was her freedom.
Here's some bread and water. You're free. Go die in a fucking bed.
Yeah, you're free to die. You're a child.
Go and die first within bow shot of a well that you didn't see until the angel
(56:28):
arrived and told you about it. So...
So that was, that's it. I reckon we pulled it up. Yeah. I think that's a good way to finish.
So we're calling that done? I think we're going to wrap this one up, boys.
Chapter 23 and chapter 24, we meet Rebecca. That was cool. I enjoyed meeting Rebecca.
(56:49):
Isaac, we haven't really met Isaac yet, have we? Like, he nearly got murdered.
So he was like, father, why don't we, this is in the last one,
remember? Father, why don't we have a goat to murder? That was Isaac.
Yeah. And then this one, he just walked down to a field ready to meditate and
met his future wife and then went back to his mum's fucking tent.
Yeah, that's all you needed to tell me.
(57:11):
Gotcha, mate. So when he was going to be sacrificed, I envisioned him as a baby.
I thought a young kid. I feel like maybe we've time jumped eight years. I'm wondering.
I think he's got to be a young man. And maybe he's 16, maybe he's 18,
maybe he's 15, maybe he's 22. But I don't consider him a young man. I think so.
(57:32):
That's what I'm thinking yeah certainly old enough to know and put seeds inside
of a helper yeah I think which I guess could be could be 14 I don't know whatever
so but anyway that was cool I enjoyed that next one,
next one Abraham gets a new wife no.
Abraham gets a new wife and some other cool shit happens Zac Efron's back in
(57:54):
the next one alright Brothers Growl Captain thanks very much that was fun yeah
Kerbevan out Brothers Growl diggity-dun, buh-buh-bye.
The Brothers Grail acknowledges the Bindal and Wulgurukaba people of North Queensland
and the Wurundjeri people of Melbourne, the traditional owners of the land we record on today.
We pay our respects to Elders past, present and future.
We also recognise that Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders have been custodians
of the land, rivers and seas for at least 65,000 years and were the first storytellers.
(00:26):
Music.
© transcript Emily Beynon Hello, hello, hello, and welcome again to the Brothers Grail.
We're up to, I believe, number eight, episode number eight this week on Quindog.
(00:47):
I'm not doing that big, long, boring intro that I did the last couple,
because I think it was long and boring.
So welcome back. We're here with Captain and Combevan. Hello, Captain.
G'day, mate. mate what's doing little brother
just normal activities half warm
half cold well yeah we're appreciating you
on the because we can see your face we're appreciating the jumper
(01:10):
the woolly jumper that you're wearing but we can also see your hairy manly chest
and nipples and yeah well it's possible that the hoodie will come off as well
i just got out of the shower i gave my dog a bath we had a shower together and
i put her in a new granny jumper riveting i'm glad i'm sure I'm sure everyone's glad to hear all that.
(01:31):
Kebevin, what's doing? Nothing, just smashing kids at Monopoly.
Smashing kids at Monopoly, the best way to smash kids.
That's what I do. The powerful capitalism game of Monopoly. I am better at capitalism
than you are. Than your small children. Yeah.
Life lessons. Life lessons. Yeah. So, all right. So, we're back.
(01:51):
It's actually been a real long time since we've actually physically sat down
and done these because the last one that we recorded, I reckon, was easy a month ago.
And then I got sidetracked trying to get it all online and getting up and running,
which we have now. and there's now been four episodes released,
I believe now. I'm sort of doing it every Sunday.
(02:12):
We've had 100, a little over 100 listens and downloads, which is cool.
The first one was number one, had heaps, and, you know, there have been a lot
of people that know us and think we're good, listen to it, and then probably
just decided never to listen to it again because the rest of them are all in the teens.
I was curious. They're missing out on the good stuff. I think there's been some
(02:32):
improvements. I think that, yeah. Yeah, I agree, Captain.
Although, I think episode one was, if we were to arbitrarily rate it out of 10, right?
We're never going to hit a 10. But let's arbitrarily rate episode one as a 4 out of 10.
I think episode two, three, and four dropped pretty dramatically because I think
(02:56):
three and four, or maybe it's four and five are the ones where we got really, really drunk.
And we did a double recording, and that was pretty tough to listen to because
I've had to listen to all of them multiple times now.
But I get genuine laughs out of each one at different times.
(03:16):
So I think we're doing okay as amateurs.
Beautiful. You just haven't really listened back to them much at all.
Once only. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then there's the captain's shirt. Quick.
Yeah, it's actually a bit warm. All right.
So we're caught up roughly. I'm up to as a reminder of what we talked about
(03:37):
last time, boys, because it's been so long.
Last time we went through chapters 20, 21, and 22, which included Abraham and
Sarah scamming that other king. You know, was that the Ur king?
Yeah. Oh, no. I can't remember. But it was another king. Abimelech.
Abimelech. Abimelech. It was his name. And so they did another scam on a king
(04:01):
and got some more goats and slaves. Yeah.
Then we chatted about, do you remember chatting about Hagar and Ishmael being
sent on their way with some bread and water?
Yes. I remember. I've forgotten, but I do. It was a sack of bread and something
of water. Yeah. To survive.
Yeah. And then that creepy- And what did we do for that again? Sorry?
(04:22):
What was the reason for their leaving? They got an actual blood son,
so they didn't need him anymore.
Yeah. Sarah was done and dusted.
Yeah. Okay. She'd had enough of the ring in, even though she was the one originally
that offered Hagar up, if you recall.
Yeah, but then she found out she could get pregnant because of magic.
(04:44):
Sarah was not happy with that. Because of magic.
And then we had that wonderful tale about Abraham packing his little baby boy
up, taking him up the mountain ready to sacrifice him, only for God to provide a ram at the last moment.
God And it was a trickle It was the vampire
That come in And wanted to Fuck the blood Yeah there
(05:05):
were vampires That's right Was that Angels stopped them From sacrificing So
there was angels And then there happened To be a ram Caught in some Thistle
I think Yeah this one That's right And then they're like God did it It was God
Yeah But we thought That might have been God wanking In the In the thistle And just changed Turning So,
Well he might have Just been fucking the ram Yeah So we'll never know The truth
(05:28):
really Maybe they were both together.
We're never going to know. He does love meat, God. He what? He loves meat.
He does. I mean, he likes meat when it's live too.
He does love his meat. And so this chapter, I started writing some notes,
but then I got distracted and didn't finish it.
But we do have Abraham Hawkins again in this chapter, our next couple of chapters. We've got Sarah.
(05:53):
We spent a bit of time with one of Abraham's main servants.
He gets sent on a quest. We got Isaac, which is Sarah and Abraham's.
Official correct child. Correct child. Milka drops back in, and that's where
I got up to. So maybe there's some other stuff that goes on.
All right. So I think I'm ready to rip in.
(06:15):
Are you boys ready to rip in? So ready. Yep. You sound very excited, Kabevan.
What did I say, you know? Keen for more Bible knowledge, you know?
All right. So we're going to start with chapter 23. It's pretty quick, this one.
Not a whole lot happens, maybe. maybe, so we'll just try to punch through it. So, chapter 23.
(06:37):
Chapter 23. Chapter 23. It's a quick one.
Sarah lived 127 years. These were the years of the life of Sarah.
So, Sarah died in Kirjath Arba, that is Hebron, in the land of Canaan.
And Abraham came to mourn for Sarah and weep for her.
(07:00):
So, they must have lived in separate tents. Can I just say, when you say this
is the life of someone to start their death. Yeah.
Yes, that is. And then introduce a bunch of locations that mean nothing to us.
That we may never hear about again.
We've heard Hebron, I think. But yeah, Kerjath and Arbryd, I don't think we've
heard before. But it's in Canaan.
(07:20):
But yeah, this is the life of Sarah. She died.
Those sums are up pretty wholly. And we know she scammed a few people,
she brutalized a slave, and now she's dead.
So Abram came to mourn for Sarah and to weep for her.
(07:42):
Then Abram stood up from before his dead and spoke to the sons of Heth,
saying, I am a foreigner and a visitor among you.
Give me property for a burial place among you, that I may bury my dead out of my sight.
And the sons of Heth answered Abraham, saying to him, Hear us,
(08:04):
my lord. You are a mighty prince among us.
Bury your dead in the choicest of our burial places. None of us will withhold
from you this burial place, that you may bury your dead. Then Abraham.
I'll have to introduce everyone to our dogs one day. That was Ella.
(08:25):
She's sad that Sarah's dead. That was, she's sad about it.
Now, Abraham stood up and bowed himself to the people of the land, the sons of Heth.
And he spoke with them, saying, If it is your wish that I bury my dead out of
my sight, hear me, and meet with Ephron, the son of Zohar, for me.
(08:48):
Now, I don't know at all what that means.
That he may give me the cave of
mcpella which he has which is
at the end of this field let him give it to me at the full price as property
for a burial place among you so has he come in with a pre-made plan so he already
(09:11):
knew he was going to hit up this zone this effron dude yeah he so So,
he knew exactly where he wanted to bury Sarah.
Is the dead just Sarah, or does he have a collection of dead to bury?
Just Sarah, I think. I'm guessing it's going to be going onward.
It's going to be a little fairly more spleen type deal. Oh, you reckon?
(09:32):
Yeah. Yeah. So, in the back of his mind, he knew he wanted this cave.
Where was it? Cave at the end of the field or some shit.
So they just put him in a cage. They didn't bury him. Or did they bury him in the cave?
Yeah, bury him in the cave? I don't know. I suppose we'll get... It is saying bury.
The phrase out of my sight sticks out to me. It's a bit weird.
(09:54):
Like, I just want to bury him. I can't look at him anymore.
I would not want to look at Sarah. I think she lives a pretty good life.
Not someone I'd be celebrating. But not for Abraham to be up on his high horse, is it?
No, no, no. She was an integral part of all of his scam. He needed her. That's right.
And you know what? Eventually, she did provide him a baby. So it took a while.
(10:18):
So she wasn't living up to that end of the bargain. And just one, too.
Once she was good to go, wouldn't they just be pumping about yearly? Yeah, but she was old.
She was barren, barren, barren. Then she was really, really old.
Was she 100? Yeah. Somewhere in there. 27 years.
She got 27 years to hunt out more babies. It's your job, get amongst it. Good to work, Sarah.
(10:42):
So she was older than 127, so the life-lengthening shortening is well and truly kicking in.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it definitely is.
Maybe Abram's twine up loose ends. Maybe, like, because she was the scammer.
She's one of the last people that know, because Lot's gone, isn't he? Lot's gone.
And so Sarah still knows about the scams. And she's like, oh,
(11:06):
someone could get her to talk. Out of sight. Out of sight. Yeah.
Has he got no more scams to do then? Because he's out of people to help him.
And I don't know if he's very good at that. But now he's a prince or some shit.
Oh, he's a prince of God or whatever. And they want to give him land.
They, like, will give everything to you. You are a man.
He doesn't have an ability to get people to just do exactly what he needs them to do. He does.
(11:26):
Because he just tells them that God is on his team. And then they go, oh, okay. Oh, bugger.
I can't pretend to be speaking to God and just say the same thing.
That's way too difficult.
So, and I saw it, that he may give me the cave of Machpelah,
which he has, which is at the end of his field.
Let him give it to me at the full price as property for a burial place among you.
(11:50):
Now Ephron dwelt among the sons of Heth, and Ephron the Hittite answered Abram
in the presence of the sons of Heth, all who entered at the gate of his city,
say, so this dude's running a city.
No, my Lord, hear me. I give you the field and the cave that is in it.
I give it to you in the presence of the sons of my people. I give it to you. Bury your dead!
(12:15):
So he's being very definite. Then Abraham bowed himself down before the people
of the land, and he spoke to Ephron in the hearing of the people of the land. He wants witnesses.
In the hearing of the people of the land, saying, If you will give it, please hear me.
I will give you money for the field. Take it from me, and I will bury my dead
(12:35):
there. This is just an annoying back to fort. What are we talking about?
And Ephron answered Abraham, saying to him, My lord, listen to me.
The land is worth 400 shekels of silver.
What is that between you and me? So bury your dead. So they're both just like, ah.
No, no, you take it. No, no, no, you take it. I'm so rich. You just take that field.
(12:58):
And what's 400 shekels? I'm assuming that's quite a lot of money.
Maybe it's a bit of a pissing contest.
I got more slaves and money than you. And they're definitely doing it in front
of people to show off. Like, I've got heaps of money. What are you talking about?
I've got a field I can give away. I don't need that. I assume that Abraham has
a plan to get something worth a lot more than the shekel.
You're just going to take over. My scam artist is going to take over the whole city. Yeah.
(13:23):
I will pay you for it. Is this the first actual land that Abraham gets?
Because you know how we've been going, he's just been wandering around the place,
living in other people's places. Is this the first actual land he gets?
Well, I thought that's... What did the last episode end with?
Because I was saying something like...
Didn't him and the king shake hands over a well and that was some land or something?
(13:46):
Oh, he did get some. Yeah, I thought of it like now he's kind of like got to
where his land is. Yeah, okay. So now he's just in monopoly mode.
Yeah, so I think he's like, yeah, sure, mate, you can give me some shekels if
you want, but I already own this land because God gave it to me.
No, no, no. The dude's saying, pay me, Abraham, pay me 400 shekels.
(14:06):
I thought Abraham was saying, no, I'm not paying you.
And the dude's like, no, you should take payment. so abraham
is saying i want to pay you another dude's like
yeah what's that between friends take it i don't care
about the money yeah and they're fighting over abraham wanting
to pay it and old mate trying to be a big doll and my argument is that abraham
(14:27):
thinks he already owns it and so he's just like don't give me money because
i'm just entitled to it yeah he's so he's just doing it for the for the like
for the show because he's already
saying he's already got He has no intention of not owning that land.
All right. So we'll see. What is 400 shekels between you and me?
It's like the billionaires of the time just swinging their dicks in front of each other.
(14:52):
And Abraham listened to Ephron, Zac Efron, and Abraham weighed out the silver for Zac Efron,
which he had named in the hearing of the sons of Heth, 400 shekels of silver,
currency of the merchants.
So the field of Efron, which was in Machpelah, which was before Mamre,
(15:15):
I think we've talked about Mamre, the trees of Mamre or something,
so we've been there before.
Which was before Mamre, the field and the cave which was in it,
and all the trees that were in In the field, I don't know how you'd take the
field without the trees, which were within all the surrounding borders were deeded.
So you've got a field, the trees, a cave within the surrounding borders. How big is this field?
(15:40):
I don't know, but this just seems like the most stupid story.
This could have been like two lines. Yeah.
Him and the dude negotiated some land. And a cave. Deprived the land.
Done. Shook hands, paid money, done.
They were deeded to Abraham as a possession in the presence of their sons of
(16:02):
Heth before all who went in at the gate of his city.
And after this, Abraham buried Sarah, his wife, in the cave of the field of
Machpelah before Memorah, that is in Hebron, in the land of Canaan.
So the field of the cave just goes around and around.
So the field of the cave that is in it were deeded to Abraham by the sons of
(16:22):
Heth as property for burial place. End of chapter 23.
Wow, so that whole chapter was just... The editor should have cut that one out,
I reckon. just cut it entirely.
That's not a chapter. That is about as long as the invention of the universe, though. Yeah.
What do we say about that? And to be in the Bible, what is the point of that?
(16:46):
What do we learn biblically from that? I don't understand.
Maybe this burial place is going to be significant. Oh, maybe.
It's not a burial place unless someone else significant gets put there.
Nah. Well, maybe Abram goes eventually when he dies, because we'll get there
at some point. Maybe he ends up back there.
So, all right, that was chapter 23. That was easy, easy to get through. Now, look.
(17:12):
Chapter, chapter, chapter 21.
Now, Abraham was old, well advanced in age, and the Lord had blessed Abraham in all things.
So, Abraham said to the old.
What are you laughing at? blessed him in all things.
(17:34):
Just very broad. It is pretty broad. And we all know that that was just Abraham
saying that, hey. He just was telling people that.
The last chapter was him negotiating about a cave and,
And then this one is just like, yeah, he was blessed in all things.
Well, let's face it, right?
Think of it this way. He's lived a hundred and whatever years,
(17:54):
gone to multiple cities, pulled the same, like, what's the word I want?
Scam? Scam, yeah, that's the one I want. I'm sure there's better words, but scam's good.
But he's essentially made himself into a prince. They called him a prince just then.
I'm guessing he didn't start off with money. When he left.
He's got slaves. He's got multiple kids roaming around. He had slaves from the
(18:18):
start, though, didn't he?
He only left the first town he did. He left with his family and his slaves.
So he's been blessed his whole life. He's been the Midas touch.
Everything he touches turns to gold.
Yeah, I guess he is blessed in that sense. He's just like, one of you said it
last week, he's just the lucky, that lucky character.
Yeah. He's like Inspector, he's get smart, or he's Inspector Gadget,
(18:42):
just a fool that everything works out for.
But with a little bit more like of a sinister vibe.
Yeah, it feels a little sinister. Sinister biblical vibe.
All right, so sorry. This is literally the absolute longest chapter,
and you've already one sentence in, we've been distracted.
(19:02):
So, blessed in all things. So Abraham said to the oldest servant of his house,
who ruled over all that he had, please put your hand under my thigh. Fuck.
What a start.
And just jiggled it around a little bit it was his servant.
(19:27):
It was his oldest servant of his house. So this is the main dude.
He ran everything for him. So he's the main dude.
We're going to get a bit more detail on him, so I should pay attention to his
name if I can. I don't know if we ever learn his name. No, we're not.
Yeah, okay. He's the best servant he has. He's just his fire servant so far.
(19:49):
Please put your hand under my thigh, And I will make you swear by the Lord,
the God of heaven and the God of the earth,
that you will not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites among whom I dwell.
So is that where you swear? You put your hand on people's thigh?
(20:10):
That's what we do now forever.
No more pinkies. No hand on heart. No pinky promises. No blood brother, spit brother.
We're just going to hand on bottom of thigh. I'm going to, like,
I promise the Brothers Brown right now, one day I will be at the pub and I will
be in my charismatic zone.
It's going to happen. And I will say to some random stranger,
(20:33):
like, we might be having a debate.
Just so you're aware, this is going to be on the downhill slope of your charismatic zone. It will.
It will. And I'm going to be the time for jail.
I'm going to get to a point where I want to make a promise with some random
stranger and I'll go, No, please put your hand under my thigh.
(20:54):
That's when I get punched in the head, yeah. Ball is running under the field.
They're promising. Every time they slap that ass. Slap that ass.
I promise you I'll play well. I promise you I'll play well.
It's not an appropriate time to do that.
So, all right. So just to say, I'm going to clarify what I think just happened.
So Abraham is saying to his old servant, He's just cupping his balls,
(21:18):
and he's saying to him, make sure that my son does not marry a woman from the land of Canaan.
Yeah. Right? That's all he's saying. I thought he was getting the servant to
promise not to take any wives from the batch that his son could have. Oh, no. Yeah.
(21:39):
Every woman that you see is only for my son. That's what I thought.
No, no, no. That's not what I read. No, because they're in the job right now.
Or they've got to assign a wife.
Pick a successor. Yeah, yeah. And so he's just saying, hey, old servant.
Just make sure you don't get a wife from here, right? Get someone with big milker. Big milkers?
(22:02):
You heard, oh, that's where you think we're going.
Because I said milkers in this
episode. Honestly, it was just in my head because you said it. Okay. Okay.
Okay. So, among the Canaanites from Himalaya 12. But you shall go to my country
and to my family and take a wife for my son Isaac. What?
(22:22):
So, yeah. Yeah, he's advocating, not like immediate family incest,
but he's advocating like cousin, you know, from my family.
You've got to go home to my family. But also, I've gone to this other place
to take land, but I don't like the people here.
Go get some from the good place and bring them back. My original people.
(22:42):
With that, I just wanted to say as well, he was also just telling his helper,
go round up a woman for my man. Yeah.
You know what I mean? It's just like, hey, mate, your job is to go and collect
some woman and say, come back and marry some dude.
Which, if Prince and all of that stuff, he's probably a good dude to get offered, to be fair.
A self-proclaimed prince, but yeah, that's right. But the woman don't get no
(23:06):
say in none of this shit. They're just going to Woolies.
Pick up a woman. Go and pick up a wife.
Been sent off by a henchman.
Don't even have to tell yourself, get the henchman, let's do it.
Yeah, well, he's obviously higher than the normal slaves if he's got that kind of job.
Yeah, he's the main doer.
(23:27):
So that slave, he gets to boss around the other slaves.
So he's, by default, got his own slaves, really. Yeah, I'd say he levels up
that henchman rather than being a slave.
Okay, how do I know a henchman's voice?
I don't fucking know. Maybe they were in a hood, their scale or something like that.
I can't, like, Germans are the, like, the stereotypical villains, aren't they?
(23:51):
Anyway, I probably won't do that because I don't know how to do a German thing.
You haven't really known how to do any of the other ones you've done either.
It's true. Yeah, I may as well just have a crack anyway.
Oh, fuck me. No, no, no. All right.
And the servant said to him, I nearly did a vampire.
(24:12):
The servants said to him, perhaps, I don't know. Perhaps. You do it, Igor.
Yes, man. Perhaps. I think it works. Go with it. Go with it?
Perhaps the woman will not be willing to follow me to this land.
Must I take your son back to the land from which you came?
(24:33):
So he said, do I take your son with me or do I just go and just snatch your chip?
But Abraham said to him, Beware that you do not take my son back there, the good Lord of heaven,
who took me from my father's house and from the land of my family,
and who spoke to me and swore to me, saying, To your descendants,
(24:55):
I give this land, he.
It's too good a try.
He he will send his angel before you and you shall take a wife for my son from
(25:16):
there so he's going to send an angel one of the investigating angels i can't
wait for a conversation between him and the angels,
i can't wait until he invites a woman back All right, so I'll compose myself.
So we're following so far. So he doesn't want Isaac to go with him,
(25:39):
but somehow an angel's going to go ahead, I think. Send his angel before you.
All right. Add mystical god power to the mission, basically.
Vampire power. And if the woman is not willing to follow you,
then you will be released from this oath.
Only do not take my son back there.
(25:59):
So, the servant put his hand under the thigh of Abram, his master,
and swore to him concerning this matter.
So, yeah, this is definitely something we've got to introduce to the world. I swear.
Bye, Smears. Bye, Bum.
Chapter's off to a good start, I would say. Sorry? Chapter's off to a good start.
(26:21):
It is. I'm glad this one keeps up this quality.
It is pretty exciting. Certainly a 10 out of 10 versus the last one.
And if the woman is not willing to, don't presume it. So the servant put his
hand under the fire. Sorry.
Then the servant took 10 of his master's camels and departed,
for all his master's goods were in his hand.
And he arose and went to Mesopotamia, to the city of Nahor, I've vagued out
(26:48):
on my map, so I'm going to have to get back and fix all that up.
But I believe, well, back to where he was, back to the Euphrates River, basically.
This is one of the main places that comes up a bit, right? Yeah, yeah.
So where am I? Nohor. And he made his camels kneel down outside the city by
a well of water at evening time, the time when women go out to draw water.
(27:14):
So he's already at this place.
Rosen went to, so there's no story about the travel. No, there isn't.
No. He said, we're immediately on the outskirts of this town that he decided to go to.
Where was I again? And he made the camels kneel down outside the city of Agua
when the women go out to draw water.
So that's the jobs of the helpers in that town, obviously.
(27:37):
Then he said, oh, Lord of God, oh, Lord God of my master Abraham,
please give me success this day and show kindness to my master, Abraham.
Behold here, I stand by the well of water, and the daughters of the men of the
city are coming out to draw water.
(27:58):
I don't know how Darren Wilkie talks like this all the time.
I think he doesn't have a choice.
Now let it be that the young woman to whom I say, please let down your pitcher
that I may drink, and she says, drink, and I will also give your camels a drink.
Let her be the one whom you have appointed for your servant Isaac.
(28:22):
So Isaac's the boy, obviously, that they're trying to find a wife for.
And by this, I will know that you have shown kindness to my master.
Yeah? So there's nothing controversial there?
He's just got to acquire a woman who helps him drink and nourishes his cows.
I was kind of hoping he'd stuff all into a sack and then write it into the assistance.
(28:46):
That's fucking just kidding.
You're doing an evil character, man. It is the first woman he's come across on the journey, though.
Or, in the skipping of the travel, did he secretly come across many potential
helpers and they just didn't meet his quality?
But then the camel lady was just, he just knew at first glance she was the one.
(29:10):
Well, he's not in the area that Abraham wanted him to be until now.
He's now, he's, like, all the travel women.
Yeah, all the travel women. Is she the first person he's come across, though?
Is that what you reckon? second well he hasn't seen any women just yet
he's just he's he's he's camped outside the the
town and then he's just put some unreal or unreasonable
rules upon what this woman should be you know how men do that oh okay yeah i
(29:37):
want my woman to be hot i want her to be a great cook i want her to do whatever
to my body whenever i want you know he's this should just got to be this really
above board Excellent point.
But the henchmen's come up with this list.
Yeah. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so, I've appointed to your servant Isaac.
(30:00):
And by this, I will know you have shown kindness to my master.
And it happened before he had finished speaking that, behold,
Rebecca, who was born to Bethuel, son of Milcah.
The wife of I'm wondering if Rebecca had big milkers too it's a strong line.
(30:25):
Abraham's wife of Nahor, Abraham's brother. So, this is the...
I don't know how to figure out exactly who this is.
So, this is Rebecca, who was the son... Oh, sorry.
Rebecca, who was born to Bethuel, son of Milcah, the wife of Nahor, Abraham's brother.
So, what's that, like a second cousin or something? I don't know what that is, but it's pretty close.
(30:45):
And by this point, they have cities and shit, like enough that they've got slaves
that aren't family members.
So like there you
could go a bit further out at this point pretty comfortably rather
than deliberately going back to your family yeah yeah like it seems like they're
obviously in the new city he's just rejected them as people and he doesn't think
(31:06):
they're pure or whatever the filth yeah the land that he got sent to as god's
land no one there is good enough yeah so this is god's His chosen to go back,
but then I still think within the place they went back to,
there was enough variety in people.
He could have gone further than two cousins. Yes.
(31:28):
Surely he could have found some hottie that would feed his camels somewhere else.
Yeah. Wait, they're the prince. They're taking over the whole fucking country.
Maybe other families wouldn't do the feeding camels thing then.
Maybe their family is the only righteous one. Yeah, the good ones. Yeah.
Now, the young woman was very beautiful, but to behold, a virgin,
clearly, is hot like tick, tick, tick, tick, a virgin, no man had known her,
(31:54):
and she went down to the well, filled her pitcher, and came up.
You reckon she's made any sacred promises with some of that thigh action with anyone there?
Can you put your hand on my thigh and promise me that you're a virgin?
I reckon the henchman will try it. Higher, higher, faster, slower.
(32:15):
You just stay still. I'll jump. Yeah, I'll jump.
Yeah, that means it's not, you're not being, like you're allowed to give head.
Is that what you're saying?
Yeah, you don't lose your virginity if you just give head.
Yeah, just rules. Yeah, so you can wipe me off.
What does she do with the, she doesn't melt the camels, does she?
(32:37):
What took you there? Blanket actions.
Maybe that's why they wanted a camel girl.
Oh fucking hell,
and and the servant ran to meet her and said please let me drink a little water
(32:59):
from your pitcher so she said drink my lord then she quickly let her pitcher
down to her hand and gave him a drink.
And when she finished giving him a drink, she said, I will draw water for your
camels also, until they have finished drinking.
Then she quickly emptied her pitcher into the trough, ran back to the well to
(33:22):
draw water, and drew for all his camels.
And the man wondering at her remained silent, so as to know whether the Lord
had made his journey prosperous or not.
So it was, when the camels had finished drinking, that the man took a golden
nose ring, weighing half a shekel, and two bracelets for her wrists,
weighing ten shekels of gold, and said, I said, whose daughter are you?
(33:46):
Tell me, please, is there room in your father's house for us to lodge?
So she said to him, I am the daughter of Bethuel, Milka's son, whom she bore to Nahor.
It's very informal. I really thought he was going to be like, here, we want to buy you.
I do think that's what that was. It is? I thought it was for lodging.
(34:06):
And I would imagine if he's offered up money to her, She wants to make her lineage
sound as fucking cool as possible.
So I think it makes sense for her dropping the whore at Milka.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because clearly they're pretty famous.
The middle man is like, mate, tell me what your fucking family is.
And offering me money, and that seems like a normal behavior,
(34:27):
then, yeah, I'd just tell them everything that I could do to get that money.
Yeah, it makes sense. Because she's trying to sell. Because she knows what her job is.
Her job is to find a man to get married to, really. And if they got a coin,
yeah, that's the ones you want. And yeah.
So whose daughter are you? Tell me how for us to lodge. So she said, I'm daughter of Boaz.
(34:49):
Moreover, she said to him, we have both straw and feed enough and room to lodge.
Then the man bowed down his head and worshipped the Lord.
And he said, blessed be the Lord God of my master, Abraham, who has not forsaken
his mercy and his truth toward my master.
As for me, being on the way, the Lord led me to the house of my master's brethren.
(35:15):
So I guess he's just going like, yeah, fuck yeah. Without even trying,
I've gone straight back to the exact people that Abraham wants me to find.
Part of that child class. He'll be gone, mate. Be gone. Yeah.
Angel. an angel secretly led him on a lead to where he needed to be just mystical
cool maybe it's the angel that went ahead and like just make sure you're that
(35:36):
well tomorrow yeah yeah yeah yeah and hey little girl you need I don't know how,
vampire voice come on what are the capitals now you'll get the good outcome
did you did you hear Kebevan then captain no,
vampire voice dude come on no I don't know,
That's why I took all the notes on the movie because I'll take notes.
(36:02):
I'm not going to act out scenes.
You forced Kebevan to act when you did your thing that other time. What was that thing?
Hot bitches or whatever? Thinking about hot bitches. Thinking about hot bitches.
House of my brothers, my master's brother. So the young woman ran and told her
mother's household these things.
(36:24):
Now, Rebecca had a brother whose name was Laban, Laban.
Sorry, I said it twice in a row. It's one word, Laban, or I don't know how to say it.
And Laban ran out to the man by the well.
So it came to pass when he saw the nose ring and the bracelets on his sister's wrists.
I think that they're ownership. That she had been purchased.
(36:47):
Like they're claiming. She pierced.
Like is a nose ring what it sounds like? Sounds like, well, sounds like nose
ring, everyone just had a nose ring. Yeah, must have done.
That was a non-event, hey. So God's on board with piercing us.
But only as a sign of being bought by a henchman. Well, she must have already had the nose ring.
Maybe she's, because she's wearing them. Yeah, like he gave it to her and she's
(37:10):
wearing it. Yeah, anyway.
Yeah, see, she must have been pre- Maybe he even was nice enough to pierce her as well.
Oh, he pierced, he grabbed my thigh and don't say a thing.
He's fully prepared for the mission. If part of the mission is he is the girl
and put a ring in it, then he's a henchman ready.
He's not like providing a ring. A full assorted man. He's got a ring.
(37:33):
Red of the house. Laban by the well. So it came to pass when he saw the nose
ring and the bracelets on his sister's wrists.
And when he heard the words of his sister, Rebecca, saying, thus,
the man spoke to me that he went...
Thus the man spoke to me, that he went to the man, and there he stood by the camels at the well.
(37:57):
So Laban's just ran out to talk to the henchman, and he said,
Come in, O blessed of the Lord.
Why do you stand outside? For I have prepared the house and a place for the camels.
I don't know. I've got him sort of – He's a little bit doughy and he's a bit – Oofish.
Just a little brother. He's got the hot big sister and the camels.
(38:21):
And then the man came to the house and he unloaded the camels and provided straw
and feed for the camels and water to wash his feet and the feet of the men who were with him.
Food was set out before him to eat, but he said, I will not eat until I have told about my errand.
And he said, speak on. I'm not really sure who said speak on.
(38:42):
Maybe it was speak on. I don't know who said that.
Speak on. Just cycle through every voice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Speak on. Speak on.
The vampire just popped in. Speak on, henchman.
And he said, I am Abraham's servant. They can't have known. Just look at me
(39:02):
right now. They don't know who the fuck Abraham is.
He's Abram. Oh.
They're like, well, they've got to be going, hang on a minute.
He was no ham when he left. Yeah.
The Lord has blessed my master greatly, and he has become great.
And he has given him flocks and
herds and silver and gold, male and female servants, camels and donkeys.
(39:28):
And Sarah, my master's wife, bore a son to my master when she was old.
Like weird detail to add in there. Yeah.
He's asking for some breeding assistance
is what he's begging for he's like mate we need
some breeding going down it's a good young it's
actually like very topical that he's discussing the breeding situation he just
(39:53):
summed up like a hundred years in two lines and that last chapter was fucking
a day in a hundred lines what the fuck come on guys get your priorities right storytellers.
And Sarah's master, when she was old, And to him he has given all that he has.
(40:14):
Now my master made me swear, saying, You shall not take a wife for my son from
the daughters of the Canaanites, in whose land I dwell, but you shall go to
my father's house and to my family and take a wife for my son. And I said to my master,
Perhaps the woman will not follow me. But he said to me, The Lord,
(40:34):
the Lord, before whom I walk, will send.
Was that him doing the voice of Abraham? I was trying to do the henchman doing the hissy voice.
But the Lord, before whom I walk, will send his angel with you and prosper your way.
And you shall take a wife for my son from my family and from my father's house.
(40:59):
You will be clear from this oath when you arrive among my family,
for if they will not give her to you, then you will be released from my oath.
He's good at summarizing. Yeah, you're right. He just nailed all of that story.
Yeah, but that last part got super wordy. Yeah, okay. But yeah.
Not quite a voice, to be honest, but we already heard.
(41:20):
And on this day, I came to the well and said, Oh, Lord, Lord of my master Abraham,
if you will now prosper, The way in which I go, behold, I stand by the well
of water, and it shall come to pass that when the virgin comes out to draw water,
and I say to her, please give me a little water from your pitcher to drink.
And she says to me, she says to me, drink and draw your camels.
(41:43):
There's nothing to supply you. Master's son.
Fucking hell. Is this just him saying God basically told me this is exactly
what would happen, and then it kind of happened, so now I've got to take her with me?
Is that what's? I guess the weird thing is we've literally
just read about that in the thing and now he's just
retelling the same story so we've got to read it twice ironically I
(42:03):
guess yeah that's a terrible reading experience but is
he literally just saying to this family look I was told
this is what would happen and then that's just what the world provided me was
a virgin and in a camel watering situation this is why you should definitely
agree to me taking this girl away 100% yes They're sitting across the table
(42:24):
They're sitting across the table going Good point,
Henchman I reckon that's how hard You're definitely laying on the right foot
He tells them what's going to happen And then it happens and they're like, what?
Magic It must be It must be God doing this shit.
Um, but before I had finished speaking in my heart, there was Rebecca coming
(42:46):
out with her picture on her shoulder and, uh, please let me drink.
And she made haste and the picture on her shoulder drink, I will give a daughter of Bethuel.
Then I asked her, and then so he's just repeating everything she said.
So he's then telling her them stuff that they already know too.
The daughter of Bethuel, my whole son, Milka here, nose ring,
bracelets, about the award god of my master and my master's brother for his son.
(43:09):
Now if you will deal kindly and truly with my master tell me and if not tell
me that I may turn to the right hand or to the left.
Alright no wonder this is a very long chapter as they repeat they repeat they
(43:30):
repeat then Laban and Bethuel answered and said the thing comes Abraham's...
I nearly turned vampire.
I forget his voice. Fuck it. This is fucked.
The thing comes from the Lord and we cannot speak to you, either good or bad.
Here is Rebecca before you. Take her and go. Let her be your master's son's
(43:52):
wife as the Lord has spoken. So that didn't fucking... That didn't fucking happen.
And it came to pass when Abraham's servant heard their words that he worshipped
the Lord, bowing himself to the earth.
Then the servant brought out jewelry of gold and clothing and gave them to Rebecca.
(44:14):
He also gave precious things to her brother and to her mother.
So he's buying them, obviously.
And her brother and her mother said, let the young woman stay with us a few days, at least 10.
After that, she may go. I forgot the voice in tongue. And he said to them,
do not hinder me since the Lord has prospered my way.
(44:36):
Send me away so that I may go to my master.
So they said, we will call the young woman and ask her personally.
So that's a revelation. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, so Rebecca gets a say in the go here.
Only what time she leaves though, right? Not about getting sold or...
(44:57):
You can have a few more days if you want.
Yeah, you're definitely being sold. Yeah.
I mean, we got nose rings, man. You're getting out of here.
You can't go back. Things or whatever that came true.
You can't go back on a nose ring gift. Yeah. You just can't do it.
Thigh promises and nose ring deals, they're in concrete, man.
(45:18):
That's it. ask her personally then they called Rebecca and said to her will
you go will you go with this man and she said I will go,
so they sent away Rebecca and her sister and her nurse and Abraham's servant
and his men so the whole you want to check with her thing seems pointless too
(45:41):
because she just went okay no I'm gone well I mean they've got gold and silver
and what have these fools got Yeah.
Go get water, bitch. Yeah, she's a gold digger. I'm saying she's a gold digger.
And she probably can't earn much money for them either.
She's not going to breach. All she is is a burden to them.
Yeah. Well, she goes and gets the water. But did they send her?
(46:02):
Did they give away a nurse? What was it? A nurse and another sister.
Yeah. So maybe they're like, look, we can make some money from this. Let's send a few more.
Yeah. Yeah. They didn't even ask for more nose rings when they gave the sister
away. way it's a group it's a group deal they're like look guys go get some
shit back just go get it all go and let someone else pay for you yeah what they're saying right.
(46:25):
I don't know about the nurse, though. Make sure you show lots of angle.
Why does Rebecca, I'm assuming a full-grown fucking...
Is she... Does she have some health issues?
What does she need a nurse for? Maybe every helper gets a free nurse.
Every helper gets a... It's a two-for-one bargain coupon. But aren't all nurses helpers, too?
Is she not, like, a future queen, essentially?
(46:48):
Like, isn't there Princeton shit going on? If they're setting up some kind of kingdom,
them then she's a she's the queen future
queen you want her in mint health and if she turns out to be barren you want
to get rid of her pretty quick you don't want to waste any time with that action
you know but the way i read this she had a nurse before they knew she was going
(47:09):
to be a queen before she got fly grabbed and got the nose ring so she already had a nurse,
so is she is she the actual oaf can't you
know doesn't know how to get through life without out a
nurse beautiful people can't be oafs so yeah
she didn't even think twice she's like no i'm out of here i don't want
to hang with laban anymore he's a fucking unit and they
(47:31):
blessed rebecca and said to her our sister may you become the mother of thousands
of ten thousands and may your descendants possess the gates of those who hate
them like go and steal cities i guess i don't Then Rebecca and her maids,
so now there's fucking maids,
arose and they rode on the camels and followed the man that they met,
(47:54):
what, four hours ago, whatever the fuck?
Followed the man. So the servant took Rebecca and departed. Now,
without any intermission or any extra words, we just fucking immediately meet Isaac.
That's the son. Yeah. So we're way back in the other end of the country or whatever.
(48:15):
And Isaac went to, this is a sweet moment.
I'm imagining Hugh Grant in my brain, to be honest with you. How old is this cunt?
Or is it like a baby Hugh Grant?
He might be just seven. I don't know. Yeah, maybe. Well, I'm imagining that
he's at least 18 or something.
No, I reckon it would be like 10. You reckon he's... About ready to take a wife,
(48:39):
you know? About ready to... Okay.
How do I do a little... I'm soie with my wife.
Like, I'm trying to be a little boy voice. Don't do that. Don't do that.
That's Isaac, isn't it? Soie. Soie.
And... I need a bit of a normal voice, I think.
And and isaac went out to mediate
oh sorry not mediate sorry very different meaning
(49:02):
when isaac went out to meditate in the
field in the evening and he lifted his eyes and
looked and there and there the camels
were coming then rebecca lifted her eyes and when
she saw isaac she dismounted from her camel for she
had said to the servant who is this
man walking in the field to meet us the servant
(49:24):
said it is my master so she took a
veil and covered herself so i
guess that means other people are allowed to look at
her but maybe her betrothed husband is
not allowed to look at her i guess i don't know can't see the husband she's
the one that cared more about it like if the servants are
good serving as i don't think he is if it
(49:46):
really mattered he would have fucking made sure it's happened he came pretty
scared with the nose rings and stuff so he had the veil ready to drop on her
well no i well she's the one i was like oh who's that and she worked it out
if if it really mattered i feel like he would have just been like boy my master
demeans you put this on your fucking head.
(50:07):
Slips a bag on a bit late in the kidnapping to slip a bag around,
it's not a bag it's a veil a veil okay it's never
too late for the bag if it's too late to slip the
bag over and the servant
told us like all the things he had done so i'm glad that
that's how they summarized it rather than him going back through and going i
said to the thing and will she drink the water and then wouldn't that be amazing
(50:31):
if maybe that would have told us the story of what happened in between on both
travel missions like you're gonna oh yeah i succeeded in my mission by doing
your travels i came across i don't know You know, the villagers that I had to kill or something.
It was a big alligator that we had to, yeah. Yeah. That would have been cool.
Then Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent, and he took Rebecca,
(50:55):
and she became his wife. He took her, so I think that means they fucked.
In his mother's tent? Holy fuck. Hang on. Isn't she dead?
Oh, she is dead. So he's just sleeping in mummy's tent.
Don't miss you, mummy. I need a new woman to replace you, mummy.
Oh, no. You're selling me on the sookie extra whiny baby voice.
(51:17):
Well, I think, because I have read ahead a little bit, and I do now recall I
was planning on doing Isaac's voice the same as Abrams because he's just a motherfucking whiny bitch.
Yeah, if you can add a bit of baby tone to it as well. Oh, shit.
I thought that's what you were trying to do the whole time. I'm against it.
You're against it. I don't need more of that.
(51:38):
The other ones make me laugh. The guy is a little bitch. He's sleeping in mummy's bed.
Yeah. I think I'm all in on that voice.
I'm a little boy is that the one I think the henchmen have always worked out
perfect and the O-Fed was good because it was a short-lived character,
(52:02):
okay so he brought him to his mother's tent and he took Rebecca and she became
his wife and he loved her so Isaac was comforted after his mother's death yes
he fucking just needed a Sarah replacement,
it is exactly like oh such a fucking little
movie boy him so that is the end of chapter 24 so
a very long chapter but that was i enjoyed that chapter yeah it
(52:24):
was great there was so much so much in there to pull
apart and even the horrific parts weren't disgusting you
know like they were but yeah yeah they were they were sort of you could laugh
at it yeah they were sort of like um under like the undertone was disgusting
but everything else was like oh she was just happy to go with him and she wanted
it yeah there's no doubt like Like she was deep into some hobby or friendship
(52:48):
group back home that she needed to stay with.
Yeah. Yeah, she wasn't as part of a local band or something and had to go and say bye to everyone.
Yeah, she had no one to say goodbye to. It was just her family. Just leave them.
And they're like, do you want to go now or later? Now. Now, yeah,
I'm good to go. And that was it. See you guys.
Catch you cunts. I've got a nose ring. I'm good. Yeah.
(53:10):
Couple of bracelets and nose ring and you're off to go. It takes some of the
other annoying slaves with you.
Take the annoying slams with you. Take that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're gone. We don't need you anymore. Go back. Go and become a queen and be
powerful so we can sort of maybe suckle off your teeth.
But also take some shit cunts with you on the way.
(53:31):
Well, they were obviously a family that was planning to, like,
get involved. Like, they seem a bit political. Like, they were prepared for
this kind of arrangement.
Do you reckon they were dealing with the angels on the sly?
Well, mate, you just said they gave them some servants, right?
Yes. mates a nurse list prepared
you know like i i feel like they moved
(53:54):
on that pretty quickly that's like that would take me a little
bit longer if i was handing over some of my
servants yeah like so rebecca gave it away a bit because she was far too eager
she could have like she could have been a bit more coy or something like oh
i think they could have got so much more out of there and some cattle get some
yeah she's no way that's what she's just been trained to be a whole lot.
(54:17):
It's like, oh, yeah, cool. It's just where it finally ended.
So maybe the whole family and lineage is pretty high class.
Because this lot all have slaves and whatnot.
He wandered for a while doing his little scams and ended up as a prince.
So maybe he was always some high class aristocrat. Yeah, because he left with
(54:40):
slaves and animals and stuff.
Yeah, maybe you're right. Or maybe, God, everyone just had fucking slaves.
Maybe if you're just like, everyone from being super loaded fucking kings and
shit, right? So that's obvious. They're going to have slaves.
But maybe even just middle class families, because as soon as a helper has no
(55:00):
man to be their boss, they need someone to live with them. Otherwise,
they're just going to get raped and murdered somewhere.
So they go like, I'll be your servant and I'll come and live in your house.
And so maybe it was just everyone had fucking slaves. everyone who wasn't a
slave if that's the case though it's quite telling that none of the main characters
(55:21):
are slaves you know what i mean like it's like they weren't chosen to be good.
It's like oh yeah you're just like you're you are just a helper like none of
them became i don't know well maybe it happened later well they don't even name
the slaves so you're saying None of the slaves lift themselves to become a main character.
(55:42):
Well, no, like, depends what you say main character, but like,
I'm like the ones talking to God, like the ones that are like Noah and Abraham and shit like that.
I get the impression that none of them started out as a servant.
Yeah, I would agree with that. It didn't tell me what God prioritizes in who
he cares about. Lineage. Lineage.
(56:03):
And really, the main slaves so far have stayed slaves the whole time. So there's Hagar.
She was a slave. Well, she got booted. She did get booted. So maybe she eventually
didn't. Like, she wasn't a slave in the end. Maybe that was her freedom.
Here's some bread and water. You're free. Go die in a fucking bed.
Yeah, you're free to die. You're a child.
Go and die first within bow shot of a well that you didn't see until the angel
(56:28):
arrived and told you about it. So...
So that was, that's it. I reckon we pulled it up. Yeah. I think that's a good way to finish.
So we're calling that done? I think we're going to wrap this one up, boys.
Chapter 23 and chapter 24, we meet Rebecca. That was cool. I enjoyed meeting Rebecca.
(56:49):
Isaac, we haven't really met Isaac yet, have we? Like, he nearly got murdered.
So he was like, father, why don't we, this is in the last one,
remember? Father, why don't we have a goat to murder? That was Isaac.
Yeah. And then this one, he just walked down to a field ready to meditate and
met his future wife and then went back to his mum's fucking tent.
Yeah, that's all you needed to tell me.
(57:11):
Gotcha, mate. So when he was going to be sacrificed, I envisioned him as a baby.
I thought a young kid. I feel like maybe we've time jumped eight years. I'm wondering.
I think he's got to be a young man. And maybe he's 16, maybe he's 18,
maybe he's 15, maybe he's 22. But I don't consider him a young man. I think so.
(57:32):
That's what I'm thinking yeah certainly old enough to know and put seeds inside
of a helper yeah I think which I guess could be could be 14 I don't know whatever
so but anyway that was cool I enjoyed that next one,
next one Abraham gets a new wife no.
Abraham gets a new wife and some other cool shit happens Zac Efron's back in
(57:54):
the next one alright Brothers Growl Captain thanks very much that was fun yeah
Kerbevan out Brothers Growl diggity-dun, buh-buh-bye.
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