October 1, 2025 • 34 mins
Join us today as Claire Pedrick sits down with Mildred Yuan: talent agent, empowerment coach and neighbour. Mildred talks about her journey from being a dancer to becoming an agent in the entertainment industry. Discover how she integrates coaching into her work, helping people unlock their potential and navigate the complexities of their careers.
Mildred discusses the importance of self-discovery and advocacy, and the power of having someone on your side. She talks about the evolving role of AI in talent representation and how it can be a tool for personal and professional growth. And introduces us to AI Mildred
Contact:
- Contact Mildred through Linked In
- Contact Claire by emailing info@3dcoaching.com or check out our Substack where you can talk with other listeners. We’d love to know where you are in the world!
Further Information:
- Subscribe or follow The Coaching Inn on your podcast platform or our YouTube Channel to hear or see new episodes as they drop.
- Find out more about 3D Coaching and get new ideas and offers in our weekly email.
Coming Up:
- Open Table - Book Corner with Nathan Whitbread and Kelley Drewery
Keywords:
coaching, talent agent, empowerment, self-discovery, advocacy, personal growth, entertainment industry, negotiation, contracts, career development, AI tools, creativity, innovation, leadership, mentorship, professional growth, talent representation, personal branding, success, transformation.
We love having a variety of guests join us! Please remember that inviting someone to participate does not mean we necessarily endorse their views or opinions. We believe in open conversation and sharing different perspectives.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:13):
Hello and welcome to this week's episode of The Coaching Inn.
I'm your host, Claire Pedrick, and it's absolute delight to be in the good company todayof my friend Mildred Yuan, who uh is on one of our coach training programmes and is a
friend and neighbour now.
Yes, neighbour in lovely Malvern.
(00:35):
Yeah, absolutely.
So before we find out about your coaching journey, just to remind our lovely listeners, ifyou subscribe or follow, that means that you'll get every episode as it downloads.
That'll be great.
And check out our Substack (00:47):
Inside The Coaching Inn if you want to have a conversation.
And we'd love to know where in the world you are.
So if you'd like to put that in a comment on the podcast, that would be fantastic to knowbecause we have listeners in 128 countries.
Did you know that Mildred?
uh So whatever brought you into coaching then?
(01:15):
always been interested in coaching.
And whether that's from when I was a dancer, because we did coaching as part of that, andin my corporate roles and consulting.
And, you know, now that I'm in the entertainment industry, I've always been interested inthis concept of coaching and helping people to get where they want to go.
(01:45):
So tell us what your job is for those who don't know.
So at the present moment, I'm a talent agent and empowerment coach.
And so I represent directors, creatives, actors in film, TV, and theatre.
(02:05):
So I look for opportunities for them.
I help pitch them.
When they get a job, I negotiate their contracts.
When it goes wrong,
We then go look back at the contracts and we enforce those contracts.
Then when it's time to get paid, then I turn into a bailiff and I start chasing downinvoices.
(02:29):
You have never seen me chase down an invoice.
My husband said that is the scariest thing he's ever seen.
Really?
You're the person that coaches should have on their side.
Every coach should have an agent.
Yeah.
the thing that attracted me about agenting was this idea of having an advocate, right?
(02:52):
Having someone on your side.
And whether that's a lawyer or an agent or a coach, you know, that's very powerful.
We behave differently when we think there's someone on our side than if there is no oneelse on our side.
Yeah, and you said to me after we had watched a film in your house, you said you need anagent because as soon as you say to somebody, I'll get my agent to talk to you, it changes
(03:19):
the conversation.
It does because again, you're saying to the other person, listen, I have people.
I'm important enough and I am valuable enough that I have people who back me.
And I think that just changes everything psychologically for you as well, as well as theperson that you might be interacting with.
(03:45):
When I first started out, I called my administrator my name even though I didn't have one.
Was it a virtual one?
It was just in those days it was an in tray on the desk and I'd say, oh, I can't rememberwhat her name was, but she'll deal with it on Friday.
(04:07):
So Polly the In tray.
Yeah, because it's much easier to chase an invoice if you're not chasing it yourself.
For yourself.
Yeah, no, that's it.
That's an interesting thought experiment as well.
Right?
How would you do something if it weren't you personally doing it?
(04:28):
Yeah.
Now I have a real life person who I think probably you and she could have an invoice chaseoff.
That would be an interesting competition.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, so how are you using coaching in your work now?
So last year, as you know, I said to you, listen, I haven't had time.
(04:51):
I've always been really interested in coaching, but I'd really like to finally formalizethis and learn the stuff.
so I started, I did the transforming conversations and now I'm about halfway through levelone.
Just did my 60th hour of coaching last week.
(05:13):
No, today.
Today was 61.
and I found it fascinating, fascinating, learning the tools, um, and the how, rather thancoaching kind of just happening and, know, having been a dance coach before having been a
(05:34):
mentor before, yes, some of these things I had done, but didn't have names for.
And it was great to then all of sudden have a name for it.
and go, this is the thing that I'm doing and it's valuable and this is what it does andthis is the impact it has.
(05:56):
Yeah, and as you're talking, it reminds me of something I've said a lot and probably notexplicitly enough, which is that we don't teach anyone anything that you don't know.
It's just that you haven't named it or you don't know you know it.
And then once you know, you know it, you can be more consistent about using it.
(06:17):
Yeah, and naming something also gives it power.
Yeah, absolutely.
Absolutely.
So you probably have named invoice chasing strategies, which now you've named them, youcan draw on them.
Yes, I mean, there's the bailiff thing.
And then I'm very, very fond of a book that my husband got me as a joke, is um it'ssomething like the Kremlin Art of Negotiation.
(06:51):
It's a great book.
It started as a joke.
It's a great book.
Yeah, I'm sure it is.
So can you give us some examples of where it's really worked for you, this coachingmalarkey?
think in any job where you have to deal with people, I'm like a big fan of people havingsome sort of knowledge about coaching.
(07:17):
Because I think so often jobs that involve dealing with people, like most of the damagethat we accidentally do, it's because we don't intend to do it.
we just kind of, we go and we trigger everyone else with the way that we're used to doingthings and we go, well, why did they react?
that.
And with agenting, it's such a people heavy business.
(07:39):
mean, even our portfolio, so you speak, so to speak, is about individuals, about peopleand their talent.
And then we have to then take this portfolio of people and talent and sell them to otherpeople.
So we have we interface with people all the time.
And I just think the the thing that coaching has done for me
(08:05):
The most important thing has done many things, but just letting me understand theboundaries of where to sit, where I am the most powerful and leverage my strengths and
then letting it go and letting other people leverage their strengths and stepping back.
(08:25):
I don't have to do everything.
And this is as true in coaching as in any walk of life and jobs, but
You know, I think sometimes we get very anxious about I have to do it all.
I have to make it happen.
And I think the wonderful thing that coaching has gifted me with this year is no, don'thave to do everything.
(08:49):
Sometimes the magic is letting it happen.
Yeah, because it's about you being your most powerful, but it's also about them beingtheir most powerful, isn't it?
Yeah.
And you almost you rob people of the opportunity to grow into themselves and their powerand m agents are as different from each other as coaches are.
(09:12):
And but we also have similarities and there are, you know, in popular culture, you alwayssee, oh, the agents always the very stressed one.
trying to hold it all together and it's spinning out of control.
(09:32):
And yes, that does exist in reality as well.
mean, that doesn't come from nowhere, but at the heart of it, we all became agents becauseof our clients and the talent that we want to amplify.
And if our clients don't feel powerful and they can't grow into themselves,
(09:56):
and we do it all for them, we're missing a trick.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And yet I imagine that some people want to give you the power so that you do the work.
absolutely.
I one thing I talk a lot about is the fantasy of the fairy godmother or the white knight.
(10:20):
We all want to feel like someone coming to save us because then we don't have to do italone.
But sometimes that means you don't recognize that you are the most powerful person who cansave yourself.
Yes, I'm not saying you have to do it alone.
You can have help.
(10:41):
But unless you look into yourself and you go, look, even if no one came to save me, I cansolve this problem.
I can save myself.
then it doesn't matter.
Of course, the people on your team help, but it doesn't then become about, know, lots ofpeople in the industry talk about, oh I'm waiting for my shot.
(11:10):
I'm waiting for someone to open the door.
I'm waiting for that casting director to see me or the agent to take me on and then I willfinally become someone.
But actually, I found for most people's stories, what happens isn't that someone elseopens the door, it's that they find themselves.
(11:34):
and they happen to be next to, I'm guessing, door that's slightly open and they can gothrough it or knock on it or...
I think when you find yourself and you're able to articulate what it is that you bring,that becomes so powerful that the doors will open for you, because why would they not?
Mm-hmm.
(11:55):
I think as humans, we are also drawn to talent and something amazing.
And when you're able to show people, this is what I've got that no one else can do.
So I talk about a lot.
What's your superpower?
If you were a superhero, what's the one thing you can do that no one else can do?
(12:19):
And once you claim that, then the rest of the world tends to go,
wow, look at that.
um That's so interesting.
Why don't you come and talk about that or um let's do this together.
So you create the opportunities for yourself rather than someone creating them for you.
(12:44):
And that's true in the coaching industry isn't it as much as it is in the entertainmentindustry.
It is so interesting, isn't it?
I think a lot of times we're all sitting around waiting to be asked, aren't we?
Because you're waiting for that client to turn around and be like, oh you've become thisamazing coach.
(13:07):
Will you come and do this incredible thing?
But a lot of times you have to ask to be invited in.
You have to go, this is, I am this sort of coach.
I will help you solve these problems.
And people will go, yes, thanks.
I'll have some of that.
of that.
You're right, that does sound very attractive.
(13:32):
So Mildred, you write for the stage, which is a thing in the UK.
Tell us what the stage is and then I'm interested in what kind of things you're writingand how that's changed.
Ah, so the stage apparently is the oldest uh entertainment publication.
Not quite sure when it started.
(13:54):
But I used to work for a very large agency in London, the biggest.
And when I stepped away to create my own business, because I envisioned something that wasa hybrid agency and coaching business, because my belief is that
a lot of people who think they need agents actually need coaching.
(14:15):
Ah, interesting.
So the stage, I've had a long-term relationship with them and they said, actually, howwould you like, we've never really had an agent column.
How would you like to come and write a column about the agent side of business?
Because we're, as agents, as a community, we tend to be quite reclusive.
(14:39):
We do what we do, like offstage, behind the camera and...
Half the time people don't quite know what we do, even in the industry.
And so they wanted to call him to talk about some of the things we do do, debunk somemyths and um talk about trends in the industry.
(15:02):
So yeah, I've been doing it for about a year now.
And it started out with just things people would ask me about on social media.
And things like, uh how do I work with an agent?
Like, now I've got one, what do I do?
(15:25):
Because most people, if they're an actor, they go to drama school, and they're told thatthey must get an agent when they graduate.
They get an agent and they go, now I have one, what do I do?
So it started out with some tips about how you would build that relationship.
(15:46):
and make that work.
And then as it evolved, I started writing about things like um AI in the industry.
So I created my own AI talent agent.
Her name is AI Mildred.
She's available 24 seven, unlike me.
(16:06):
She always answers your question.
She doesn't get grumpy.
um But so I talked about the implications of AI.
And now I'm actually about to write my next one and I'm kind of brainstorming ideas, butI've realized that people are really, really interested not only in just pulling back the
(16:32):
curtain and understand what an agent does, but how an agent thinks.
Mmm.
And one of the things that I'm experiencing at the moment is that's changing.
I mean, it's always dynamic, but the kind of using my identities as like coach and agenthas really just made me think deeply about, okay, how would I handle certain situations
(17:04):
differently?
And
One of the things I've been thinking about recently is, so we have in coaching, if you'renot sure, ask.
Yeah.
if you're not sure, ask.
And this is such a simple concept.
But sometimes in entertainment, especially when we're busy, we don't have time to ask ourclients.
(17:31):
And we go, do they want to do this?
Do they want to go in for an audition or meeting?
Because of course they do, why wouldn't you?
You
And okay, fine, there will be times when you don't have time to ask.
But when you do have time, I do think you get that extra level of connection andunderstanding between you.
(17:55):
And sometimes what's really interesting is when what comes back isn't what you expect.
And then you get a moment in the agent-client relationship where you're like, huh.
So what I thought you wanted isn't what you actually wanted.
And then you can take it further and go, so what should we do about that?
(18:18):
How do we co-create something going forward to take this into account?
Because I was assuming that maybe you wanted your career to go a certain way.
But it appears I was wrong.
So has that changed?
Do we want to change?
And think that's a very useful conversation to be having.
(18:44):
As you were talking then, it felt like there's a web between you and the actor, whoeverthey are.
And that there's something about that strengthening that the agent-actor relationship orthe coach-thinker relationship strengthens both the relationship and the position of that
(19:07):
other person in the world.
Yes, because, yeah, because also when you ask, you give the person you're asking power orgive it back to them.
Because you're going, what do you want?
What do you need?
Rather than me running away with myself and assuming that, yes, what we're doing is weneed to get you into film, so I'm going to go blindly, go and put you up for all these
(19:36):
film jobs.
Never mind this very interesting and lovely like theatre job that's just come along.
Yeah, yeah.
And you've got some great stories, haven't you, that I won't ask you to share here, butwhere that's actually made a really big difference.
Oh absolutely and actually sometimes when you're really busy you go I won't ask thembecause they'll just slow the process down.
(20:03):
But actually the disruption of asking them and maybe getting a different answer
means you go, oh how can we be intentional about this?
And okay, sometimes, because we're all human, you ask the client, they say somethingdifferent, and you go, ah that isn't what you said you wanted.
(20:23):
m
You go, are you sure?
Yeah.
They wait for a while and they think about it and you can see them thinking and then theygo, no you're right, ignore me.
Hahaha!
I was having a moment of FOMO, but even that process of letting them think through thatand going, actually, I am sure now about my path, the path we have created together.
(20:54):
Mmm.
That also strengthens that bridge that strengthens the resolve to go forward.
Yeah, yeah.
So looking at other people in your industry, if you stand in their shoes and you watchMildred do what Mildred's doing.
What are they noticing do you think?
(21:16):
Or what do hope they're noticing?
I'm sure what I hope they're noticing is very different from what they are.
Apart from going Mildred doesn't live in London anymore.
Oh, well, the I hope I mean, I've always been progressive.
(21:36):
Everyone knows that I've always been trying to look forward rather than back.
And our industry has taken such a huge hit in the last few years with the pandemic and allof the strikes and it hasn't really recovered.
But nevertheless, I think that's even more of a reason to look forward and try and see
(21:59):
what we could be, what we could change to be better.
But I also very much understand that um right now there's a resistance to that becausepeople must feel that things are crumbling, it's not as good as it was, there must be a
sense of nostalgia, there's a temptation to look back.
(22:20):
And I really appreciate all of those views in the spectrum in between.
em
I know there are people who think that by looking into the future, I am hastening our end.
And I understand that, but the future is not going to stop coming.
(22:41):
AI is not going to stop coming for us just because we don't look at it, we don't engagewith it.
And I like to be optimistic when I'm looking forward.
And I think, well, sure, I mean,
If AI wants to take emails off of me, that sounds really grand.
(23:02):
Who likes writing emails all day?
But that means I really need to lean into the best human parts of myself.
And that includes all the frailties, the vulnerabilities, the things we don't like to talkabout.
And how do I maximize that to the best, for the best impact of my clients, whether agencyor coaching alike?
(23:32):
I have to believe that I am more than chat GPT acting concerned and being like, so what doyou think about that?
Yeah, as you're talking, it makes me think about that Brene Brown quote where she saysthat vulnerability is the first thing we look for in others.
And the last thing we'll disclose in ourselves.
(23:53):
Because there'll come a time if people do go really into AI, where they get where ashumans we get fed up with.
It's like talking to a perfect thing, isn't it?
Even if it's imperfect, because there's no frailty.
And it can be kind of eerie.
(24:15):
I mean, I was showing, I was doing uh a webinar last night about how you advocate foryourself by pitching yourself positively.
And I said, well, now we have AI tools.
In fact, AI Mildred does know how to pitch you and it can give you some ideas if you'rereally stuck.
Mmm.
(24:36):
But that's it.
It's an idea.
You still have to take it and run with it and make it actually good and personal.
Some people they'll take AI and pitch me copy paste, but that's only going to do so much.
If you use it to then challenge your brain and go, is that what I want to say aboutmyself?
Is that the right word?
(24:58):
How could I make it more personal?
How could I make it better?
How could I make it more authentic?
Then
AI becomes actually a tool where we can make ourselves better, challenge ourselves on ourthinking.
And I think that's how it's meant to be used.
Okay, I'm going to say that I'm sure and then robots will take over the land and I'llregret what I said, but I am hoping not.
(25:26):
don't think they will.
Although, you know, I've just been off for four weeks and I've come back and I can dothings in Google that I couldn't do before.
You go, that's interesting.
I didn't know it would do that for me.
Have you asked it to cook you a meal or something yet?
No, sadly, my lovely husband's not here tonight and Google is not going to cook me a meal,is it?
(25:50):
I'm going to have to do it myself.
Not that advanced.
oh
indeed.
That's annoying, isn't it?
you
So, I had a question that disappeared.
We were talking about the impact it's had on your column in the stage.
(26:11):
yeah, that's right.
What would you say as somebody who's really integrating coaching now into the work you'realready doing?
What would you say to other people about integrating a coaching style into any role?
you
And I'd like to introduce our listeners to your lovely dogs who are now company with us.
(26:36):
yes, they are chirping along as we go.
I think it definitely, it takes time.
I think it doesn't work if you go, I'm going to take a coaching approach to everything.
It takes time to blend and take the bits of it that help.
(26:56):
And you have to be really open about it going both ways and it taking a dip.
But.
Overall for me, I think everyone should do coaching training because if we can all listenbetter, if we can help people move forward rather than stay in the past, that's only a
(27:23):
good thing.
And I'm a big, big fan of letting people
discover what's already within themselves.
And then you don't get the false hierarchy where, you know, in so many industries you get,these are the high performers and these are the middle performers and these are the low
(27:47):
performers.
In my version of the world, everyone's a high performer in their sphere, but they have tobe seen for the person they are and the strengths that they have.
And for that to happen, they have to first discover it within themselves.
(28:07):
And we have to leave them enough room to be able to do that, don't we?
So it's not about abandoning them to themselves, but it's about being present as they dothat discovery.
Yeah, witnessing and noticing the changes.
And I think that's such an important part of growth, because if no one's around to go,hey, you've grown or witnessed that, it almost doesn't feel as real.
(28:39):
Yeah, and there is something, isn't there, that when we own our own development, then weknow it's ours and it's not yours.
It's mine.
And therefore I can do things with it rather than thinking, I'm only here because ofMildred.
Yeah, I wouldn't advise anyone thinking that they're here because of me.
(29:06):
you
Although I suspect that some of the people that you are agent for think that.
gosh, I don't know.
I think there have been times in my career where people have said to me, if only you'llrepresent me, then everything will change.
And they have this belief.
(29:26):
And as we know, beliefs are very strong.
Mmm.
And I always thought, well, if only you believed in yourself, and then that would make thehugest difference.
And one of the things that I am finding fascinating is looking at like my agent andclients and my coaching clients.
(29:48):
And I thought I would feel very differently about them because it works differently, thebusiness model.
So an agenting,
You don't get paid until they get paid and you take a commission.
And then in coaching, they pay per session.
Yeah.
(30:08):
But what is really interesting is that I have developed relationships with some of mycoaching clients where I would say they're deeper and actually the progress that they have
made, the results and changes in their career that they have made outstripped maybesomeone I represent.
(30:34):
And I look at that and I go, wow, that's
That's actually pretty incredible.
And some people, my coach, because I have like a sliding scale for pricing so thateveryone who wants to work with me can.
It means that I now have exposure and are unable to work with such a wider range ofpeople.
(31:03):
Whereas before, when I was just an agent at a big agency, you had to really think about,well, how much do they earn?
So therefore my commission, my cut of it is this.
So how much are they worth to me?
So therefore, how much time do I spend on this person?
And it always made me
(31:23):
slightly uncomfortable that, for example, someone who might not be there yet and maybeneeded just a little bit more time, a little bit more help to discover what was in
themselves, I sometimes couldn't give them that time because they weren't making the moneyto pay for that time.
(31:52):
then it just struck me.
Well, that means that this is a system that self-perpetuates the people who are always atthe top staying at the top and the people at the bottom staying at the bottom.
And I think that's for me also another big reason I was like, I really want to do thecoaching because then I have the ability to work with people and give them my time.
(32:20):
and help them to actually change the narrative so that it's not fixed.
If you started at the bottom, maybe you have a chance to reach the top.
Nice.
Nice.
So how do people contact you and find out about AI Mildred and her husband, AI Dr Gary?
(32:40):
Yes, they are a pair they they do it's funny you can ask them the same question and it'llcome out different Probably reflecting us So my website is mildreduin.com I am on all the
socials at mildreduin and Instagram is more like industry stuff if you're interested inthat LinkedIn stuff is a little bit more corporate but
(33:08):
Yeah, all the stuff I do is on the website and links to AI Mildred.
can have a play.
You can ask her how to negotiate your next employment contract.
uh If you get her to goof up, I would love to know.
Let me know.
Come find me on socials.
I love it when people, they've been like talking to AI Mildred and they send me littlescreenshots and they're like, this is what she did.
(33:29):
Sometimes it's like a wow.
Sometimes like, ooh, goof.
Amazing, that's amazing.
And yeah, and it's just great to have you in 3D doing some development with us.
I am very grateful that you're having me.
It's really changed my life and changed the way that I am at show up as an agent and as acoach.
(33:54):
And I'm very grateful.
Well, and it's also great to have you as a neighbour.
So thank you Mildred Yuan for coming to The Coaching Inn.
Thank you everyone for listening.
We'll be back next week with another episode.
Bye bye.
Bye.
Hello and welcome to this week's episode of The Coaching Inn.
I'm your host, Claire Pedrick, and it's absolute delight to be in the good company todayof my friend Mildred Yuan, who uh is on one of our coach training programmes and is a
friend and neighbour now.
Yes, neighbour in lovely Malvern.
(00:35):
Yeah, absolutely.
So before we find out about your coaching journey, just to remind our lovely listeners, ifyou subscribe or follow, that means that you'll get every episode as it downloads.
That'll be great.
And check out our Substack (00:47):
Inside The Coaching Inn if you want to have a conversation.
And we'd love to know where in the world you are.
So if you'd like to put that in a comment on the podcast, that would be fantastic to knowbecause we have listeners in 128 countries.
Did you know that Mildred?
uh So whatever brought you into coaching then?
(01:15):
always been interested in coaching.
And whether that's from when I was a dancer, because we did coaching as part of that, andin my corporate roles and consulting.
And, you know, now that I'm in the entertainment industry, I've always been interested inthis concept of coaching and helping people to get where they want to go.
(01:45):
So tell us what your job is for those who don't know.
So at the present moment, I'm a talent agent and empowerment coach.
And so I represent directors, creatives, actors in film, TV, and theatre.
(02:05):
So I look for opportunities for them.
I help pitch them.
When they get a job, I negotiate their contracts.
When it goes wrong,
We then go look back at the contracts and we enforce those contracts.
Then when it's time to get paid, then I turn into a bailiff and I start chasing downinvoices.
(02:29):
You have never seen me chase down an invoice.
My husband said that is the scariest thing he's ever seen.
Really?
You're the person that coaches should have on their side.
Every coach should have an agent.
Yeah.
the thing that attracted me about agenting was this idea of having an advocate, right?
(02:52):
Having someone on your side.
And whether that's a lawyer or an agent or a coach, you know, that's very powerful.
We behave differently when we think there's someone on our side than if there is no oneelse on our side.
Yeah, and you said to me after we had watched a film in your house, you said you need anagent because as soon as you say to somebody, I'll get my agent to talk to you, it changes
(03:19):
the conversation.
It does because again, you're saying to the other person, listen, I have people.
I'm important enough and I am valuable enough that I have people who back me.
And I think that just changes everything psychologically for you as well, as well as theperson that you might be interacting with.
(03:45):
When I first started out, I called my administrator my name even though I didn't have one.
Was it a virtual one?
It was just in those days it was an in tray on the desk and I'd say, oh, I can't rememberwhat her name was, but she'll deal with it on Friday.
(04:07):
So Polly the In tray.
Yeah, because it's much easier to chase an invoice if you're not chasing it yourself.
For yourself.
Yeah, no, that's it.
That's an interesting thought experiment as well.
Right?
How would you do something if it weren't you personally doing it?
(04:28):
Yeah.
Now I have a real life person who I think probably you and she could have an invoice chaseoff.
That would be an interesting competition.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, so how are you using coaching in your work now?
So last year, as you know, I said to you, listen, I haven't had time.
(04:51):
I've always been really interested in coaching, but I'd really like to finally formalizethis and learn the stuff.
so I started, I did the transforming conversations and now I'm about halfway through levelone.
Just did my 60th hour of coaching last week.
(05:13):
No, today.
Today was 61.
and I found it fascinating, fascinating, learning the tools, um, and the how, rather thancoaching kind of just happening and, know, having been a dance coach before having been a
(05:34):
mentor before, yes, some of these things I had done, but didn't have names for.
And it was great to then all of sudden have a name for it.
and go, this is the thing that I'm doing and it's valuable and this is what it does andthis is the impact it has.
(05:56):
Yeah, and as you're talking, it reminds me of something I've said a lot and probably notexplicitly enough, which is that we don't teach anyone anything that you don't know.
It's just that you haven't named it or you don't know you know it.
And then once you know, you know it, you can be more consistent about using it.
(06:17):
Yeah, and naming something also gives it power.
Yeah, absolutely.
Absolutely.
So you probably have named invoice chasing strategies, which now you've named them, youcan draw on them.
Yes, I mean, there's the bailiff thing.
And then I'm very, very fond of a book that my husband got me as a joke, is um it'ssomething like the Kremlin Art of Negotiation.
(06:51):
It's a great book.
It started as a joke.
It's a great book.
Yeah, I'm sure it is.
So can you give us some examples of where it's really worked for you, this coachingmalarkey?
think in any job where you have to deal with people, I'm like a big fan of people havingsome sort of knowledge about coaching.
(07:17):
Because I think so often jobs that involve dealing with people, like most of the damagethat we accidentally do, it's because we don't intend to do it.
we just kind of, we go and we trigger everyone else with the way that we're used to doingthings and we go, well, why did they react?
that.
And with agenting, it's such a people heavy business.
(07:39):
mean, even our portfolio, so you speak, so to speak, is about individuals, about peopleand their talent.
And then we have to then take this portfolio of people and talent and sell them to otherpeople.
So we have we interface with people all the time.
And I just think the the thing that coaching has done for me
(08:05):
The most important thing has done many things, but just letting me understand theboundaries of where to sit, where I am the most powerful and leverage my strengths and
then letting it go and letting other people leverage their strengths and stepping back.
(08:25):
I don't have to do everything.
And this is as true in coaching as in any walk of life and jobs, but
You know, I think sometimes we get very anxious about I have to do it all.
I have to make it happen.
And I think the wonderful thing that coaching has gifted me with this year is no, don'thave to do everything.
(08:49):
Sometimes the magic is letting it happen.
Yeah, because it's about you being your most powerful, but it's also about them beingtheir most powerful, isn't it?
Yeah.
And you almost you rob people of the opportunity to grow into themselves and their powerand m agents are as different from each other as coaches are.
(09:12):
And but we also have similarities and there are, you know, in popular culture, you alwayssee, oh, the agents always the very stressed one.
trying to hold it all together and it's spinning out of control.
(09:32):
And yes, that does exist in reality as well.
mean, that doesn't come from nowhere, but at the heart of it, we all became agents becauseof our clients and the talent that we want to amplify.
And if our clients don't feel powerful and they can't grow into themselves,
(09:56):
and we do it all for them, we're missing a trick.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And yet I imagine that some people want to give you the power so that you do the work.
absolutely.
I one thing I talk a lot about is the fantasy of the fairy godmother or the white knight.
(10:20):
We all want to feel like someone coming to save us because then we don't have to do italone.
But sometimes that means you don't recognize that you are the most powerful person who cansave yourself.
Yes, I'm not saying you have to do it alone.
You can have help.
(10:41):
But unless you look into yourself and you go, look, even if no one came to save me, I cansolve this problem.
I can save myself.
then it doesn't matter.
Of course, the people on your team help, but it doesn't then become about, know, lots ofpeople in the industry talk about, oh I'm waiting for my shot.
(11:10):
I'm waiting for someone to open the door.
I'm waiting for that casting director to see me or the agent to take me on and then I willfinally become someone.
But actually, I found for most people's stories, what happens isn't that someone elseopens the door, it's that they find themselves.
(11:34):
and they happen to be next to, I'm guessing, door that's slightly open and they can gothrough it or knock on it or...
I think when you find yourself and you're able to articulate what it is that you bring,that becomes so powerful that the doors will open for you, because why would they not?
Mm-hmm.
(11:55):
I think as humans, we are also drawn to talent and something amazing.
And when you're able to show people, this is what I've got that no one else can do.
So I talk about a lot.
What's your superpower?
If you were a superhero, what's the one thing you can do that no one else can do?
(12:19):
And once you claim that, then the rest of the world tends to go,
wow, look at that.
um That's so interesting.
Why don't you come and talk about that or um let's do this together.
So you create the opportunities for yourself rather than someone creating them for you.
(12:44):
And that's true in the coaching industry isn't it as much as it is in the entertainmentindustry.
It is so interesting, isn't it?
I think a lot of times we're all sitting around waiting to be asked, aren't we?
Because you're waiting for that client to turn around and be like, oh you've become thisamazing coach.
(13:07):
Will you come and do this incredible thing?
But a lot of times you have to ask to be invited in.
You have to go, this is, I am this sort of coach.
I will help you solve these problems.
And people will go, yes, thanks.
I'll have some of that.
of that.
You're right, that does sound very attractive.
(13:32):
So Mildred, you write for the stage, which is a thing in the UK.
Tell us what the stage is and then I'm interested in what kind of things you're writingand how that's changed.
Ah, so the stage apparently is the oldest uh entertainment publication.
Not quite sure when it started.
(13:54):
But I used to work for a very large agency in London, the biggest.
And when I stepped away to create my own business, because I envisioned something that wasa hybrid agency and coaching business, because my belief is that
a lot of people who think they need agents actually need coaching.
(14:15):
Ah, interesting.
So the stage, I've had a long-term relationship with them and they said, actually, howwould you like, we've never really had an agent column.
How would you like to come and write a column about the agent side of business?
Because we're, as agents, as a community, we tend to be quite reclusive.
(14:39):
We do what we do, like offstage, behind the camera and...
Half the time people don't quite know what we do, even in the industry.
And so they wanted to call him to talk about some of the things we do do, debunk somemyths and um talk about trends in the industry.
(15:02):
So yeah, I've been doing it for about a year now.
And it started out with just things people would ask me about on social media.
And things like, uh how do I work with an agent?
Like, now I've got one, what do I do?
(15:25):
Because most people, if they're an actor, they go to drama school, and they're told thatthey must get an agent when they graduate.
They get an agent and they go, now I have one, what do I do?
So it started out with some tips about how you would build that relationship.
(15:46):
and make that work.
And then as it evolved, I started writing about things like um AI in the industry.
So I created my own AI talent agent.
Her name is AI Mildred.
She's available 24 seven, unlike me.
(16:06):
She always answers your question.
She doesn't get grumpy.
um But so I talked about the implications of AI.
And now I'm actually about to write my next one and I'm kind of brainstorming ideas, butI've realized that people are really, really interested not only in just pulling back the
(16:32):
curtain and understand what an agent does, but how an agent thinks.
Mmm.
And one of the things that I'm experiencing at the moment is that's changing.
I mean, it's always dynamic, but the kind of using my identities as like coach and agenthas really just made me think deeply about, okay, how would I handle certain situations
(17:04):
differently?
And
One of the things I've been thinking about recently is, so we have in coaching, if you'renot sure, ask.
Yeah.
if you're not sure, ask.
And this is such a simple concept.
But sometimes in entertainment, especially when we're busy, we don't have time to ask ourclients.
(17:31):
And we go, do they want to do this?
Do they want to go in for an audition or meeting?
Because of course they do, why wouldn't you?
You
And okay, fine, there will be times when you don't have time to ask.
But when you do have time, I do think you get that extra level of connection andunderstanding between you.
(17:55):
And sometimes what's really interesting is when what comes back isn't what you expect.
And then you get a moment in the agent-client relationship where you're like, huh.
So what I thought you wanted isn't what you actually wanted.
And then you can take it further and go, so what should we do about that?
(18:18):
How do we co-create something going forward to take this into account?
Because I was assuming that maybe you wanted your career to go a certain way.
But it appears I was wrong.
So has that changed?
Do we want to change?
And think that's a very useful conversation to be having.
(18:44):
As you were talking then, it felt like there's a web between you and the actor, whoeverthey are.
And that there's something about that strengthening that the agent-actor relationship orthe coach-thinker relationship strengthens both the relationship and the position of that
(19:07):
other person in the world.
Yes, because, yeah, because also when you ask, you give the person you're asking power orgive it back to them.
Because you're going, what do you want?
What do you need?
Rather than me running away with myself and assuming that, yes, what we're doing is weneed to get you into film, so I'm going to go blindly, go and put you up for all these
(19:36):
film jobs.
Never mind this very interesting and lovely like theatre job that's just come along.
Yeah, yeah.
And you've got some great stories, haven't you, that I won't ask you to share here, butwhere that's actually made a really big difference.
Oh absolutely and actually sometimes when you're really busy you go I won't ask thembecause they'll just slow the process down.
(20:03):
But actually the disruption of asking them and maybe getting a different answer
means you go, oh how can we be intentional about this?
And okay, sometimes, because we're all human, you ask the client, they say somethingdifferent, and you go, ah that isn't what you said you wanted.
(20:23):
m
You go, are you sure?
Yeah.
They wait for a while and they think about it and you can see them thinking and then theygo, no you're right, ignore me.
Hahaha!
I was having a moment of FOMO, but even that process of letting them think through thatand going, actually, I am sure now about my path, the path we have created together.
(20:54):
Mmm.
That also strengthens that bridge that strengthens the resolve to go forward.
Yeah, yeah.
So looking at other people in your industry, if you stand in their shoes and you watchMildred do what Mildred's doing.
What are they noticing do you think?
(21:16):
Or what do hope they're noticing?
I'm sure what I hope they're noticing is very different from what they are.
Apart from going Mildred doesn't live in London anymore.
Oh, well, the I hope I mean, I've always been progressive.
(21:36):
Everyone knows that I've always been trying to look forward rather than back.
And our industry has taken such a huge hit in the last few years with the pandemic and allof the strikes and it hasn't really recovered.
But nevertheless, I think that's even more of a reason to look forward and try and see
(21:59):
what we could be, what we could change to be better.
But I also very much understand that um right now there's a resistance to that becausepeople must feel that things are crumbling, it's not as good as it was, there must be a
sense of nostalgia, there's a temptation to look back.
(22:20):
And I really appreciate all of those views in the spectrum in between.
em
I know there are people who think that by looking into the future, I am hastening our end.
And I understand that, but the future is not going to stop coming.
(22:41):
AI is not going to stop coming for us just because we don't look at it, we don't engagewith it.
And I like to be optimistic when I'm looking forward.
And I think, well, sure, I mean,
If AI wants to take emails off of me, that sounds really grand.
(23:02):
Who likes writing emails all day?
But that means I really need to lean into the best human parts of myself.
And that includes all the frailties, the vulnerabilities, the things we don't like to talkabout.
And how do I maximize that to the best, for the best impact of my clients, whether agencyor coaching alike?
(23:32):
I have to believe that I am more than chat GPT acting concerned and being like, so what doyou think about that?
Yeah, as you're talking, it makes me think about that Brene Brown quote where she saysthat vulnerability is the first thing we look for in others.
And the last thing we'll disclose in ourselves.
(23:53):
Because there'll come a time if people do go really into AI, where they get where ashumans we get fed up with.
It's like talking to a perfect thing, isn't it?
Even if it's imperfect, because there's no frailty.
And it can be kind of eerie.
(24:15):
I mean, I was showing, I was doing uh a webinar last night about how you advocate foryourself by pitching yourself positively.
And I said, well, now we have AI tools.
In fact, AI Mildred does know how to pitch you and it can give you some ideas if you'rereally stuck.
Mmm.
(24:36):
But that's it.
It's an idea.
You still have to take it and run with it and make it actually good and personal.
Some people they'll take AI and pitch me copy paste, but that's only going to do so much.
If you use it to then challenge your brain and go, is that what I want to say aboutmyself?
Is that the right word?
(24:58):
How could I make it more personal?
How could I make it better?
How could I make it more authentic?
Then
AI becomes actually a tool where we can make ourselves better, challenge ourselves on ourthinking.
And I think that's how it's meant to be used.
Okay, I'm going to say that I'm sure and then robots will take over the land and I'llregret what I said, but I am hoping not.
(25:26):
don't think they will.
Although, you know, I've just been off for four weeks and I've come back and I can dothings in Google that I couldn't do before.
You go, that's interesting.
I didn't know it would do that for me.
Have you asked it to cook you a meal or something yet?
No, sadly, my lovely husband's not here tonight and Google is not going to cook me a meal,is it?
(25:50):
I'm going to have to do it myself.
Not that advanced.
oh
indeed.
That's annoying, isn't it?
you
So, I had a question that disappeared.
We were talking about the impact it's had on your column in the stage.
(26:11):
yeah, that's right.
What would you say as somebody who's really integrating coaching now into the work you'realready doing?
What would you say to other people about integrating a coaching style into any role?
you
And I'd like to introduce our listeners to your lovely dogs who are now company with us.
(26:36):
yes, they are chirping along as we go.
I think it definitely, it takes time.
I think it doesn't work if you go, I'm going to take a coaching approach to everything.
It takes time to blend and take the bits of it that help.
(26:56):
And you have to be really open about it going both ways and it taking a dip.
But.
Overall for me, I think everyone should do coaching training because if we can all listenbetter, if we can help people move forward rather than stay in the past, that's only a
(27:23):
good thing.
And I'm a big, big fan of letting people
discover what's already within themselves.
And then you don't get the false hierarchy where, you know, in so many industries you get,these are the high performers and these are the middle performers and these are the low
(27:47):
performers.
In my version of the world, everyone's a high performer in their sphere, but they have tobe seen for the person they are and the strengths that they have.
And for that to happen, they have to first discover it within themselves.
(28:07):
And we have to leave them enough room to be able to do that, don't we?
So it's not about abandoning them to themselves, but it's about being present as they dothat discovery.
Yeah, witnessing and noticing the changes.
And I think that's such an important part of growth, because if no one's around to go,hey, you've grown or witnessed that, it almost doesn't feel as real.
(28:39):
Yeah, and there is something, isn't there, that when we own our own development, then weknow it's ours and it's not yours.
It's mine.
And therefore I can do things with it rather than thinking, I'm only here because ofMildred.
Yeah, I wouldn't advise anyone thinking that they're here because of me.
(29:06):
you
Although I suspect that some of the people that you are agent for think that.
gosh, I don't know.
I think there have been times in my career where people have said to me, if only you'llrepresent me, then everything will change.
And they have this belief.
(29:26):
And as we know, beliefs are very strong.
Mmm.
And I always thought, well, if only you believed in yourself, and then that would make thehugest difference.
And one of the things that I am finding fascinating is looking at like my agent andclients and my coaching clients.
(29:48):
And I thought I would feel very differently about them because it works differently, thebusiness model.
So an agenting,
You don't get paid until they get paid and you take a commission.
And then in coaching, they pay per session.
Yeah.
(30:08):
But what is really interesting is that I have developed relationships with some of mycoaching clients where I would say they're deeper and actually the progress that they have
made, the results and changes in their career that they have made outstripped maybesomeone I represent.
(30:34):
And I look at that and I go, wow, that's
That's actually pretty incredible.
And some people, my coach, because I have like a sliding scale for pricing so thateveryone who wants to work with me can.
It means that I now have exposure and are unable to work with such a wider range ofpeople.
(31:03):
Whereas before, when I was just an agent at a big agency, you had to really think about,well, how much do they earn?
So therefore my commission, my cut of it is this.
So how much are they worth to me?
So therefore, how much time do I spend on this person?
And it always made me
(31:23):
slightly uncomfortable that, for example, someone who might not be there yet and maybeneeded just a little bit more time, a little bit more help to discover what was in
themselves, I sometimes couldn't give them that time because they weren't making the moneyto pay for that time.
(31:52):
then it just struck me.
Well, that means that this is a system that self-perpetuates the people who are always atthe top staying at the top and the people at the bottom staying at the bottom.
And I think that's for me also another big reason I was like, I really want to do thecoaching because then I have the ability to work with people and give them my time.
(32:20):
and help them to actually change the narrative so that it's not fixed.
If you started at the bottom, maybe you have a chance to reach the top.
Nice.
Nice.
So how do people contact you and find out about AI Mildred and her husband, AI Dr Gary?
(32:40):
Yes, they are a pair they they do it's funny you can ask them the same question and it'llcome out different Probably reflecting us So my website is mildreduin.com I am on all the
socials at mildreduin and Instagram is more like industry stuff if you're interested inthat LinkedIn stuff is a little bit more corporate but
(33:08):
Yeah, all the stuff I do is on the website and links to AI Mildred.
can have a play.
You can ask her how to negotiate your next employment contract.
uh If you get her to goof up, I would love to know.
Let me know.
Come find me on socials.
I love it when people, they've been like talking to AI Mildred and they send me littlescreenshots and they're like, this is what she did.
(33:29):
Sometimes it's like a wow.
Sometimes like, ooh, goof.
Amazing, that's amazing.
And yeah, and it's just great to have you in 3D doing some development with us.
I am very grateful that you're having me.
It's really changed my life and changed the way that I am at show up as an agent and as acoach.
(33:54):
And I'm very grateful.
Well, and it's also great to have you as a neighbour.
So thank you Mildred Yuan for coming to The Coaching Inn.
Thank you everyone for listening.
We'll be back next week with another episode.
Bye bye.
Bye.
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