June 2, 2025 • 30 mins
What does it really take to raise boys into men of character in today’s world? In this episode of The Colorado Homeschool Podcast, we dive deep into “The Man Year: Rite of Passage for Homeschool Boys” with special guest Ashley Utile. Married for 17 years and in ministry together for 19, Ashley and her husband Kevin have homeschooled their five kids—spanning from elementary to high school—through every season of life. Their journey is filled with practical wisdom on balancing academics with real-world experiences, all while intentionally discipling their kids for the future.
Tune in as Ashley shares the story behind the “Man Year,” a unique, year-long rite of passage that has transformed her sons’ lives—covering spiritual, relational, physical, financial, and personal growth. You’ll hear inspiring stories from their family, honest advice about cultivating godly character, creative ways to partner with your spouse (or take the lead solo!), and actionable strategies you can personalize for your own family—whether you’re new to homeschooling or a seasoned veteran.
If you want to be encouraged, equipped, and inspired in your own homeschooling and parenting journey, this episode is a must-listen. Don’t miss out on these practical tips and fresh ideas that will help you walk out your “why” with confidence.
If you’re looking for support, resources, and inspiration on your homeschooling journey, visit CHEC.org. Don’t forget to subscribe to our podcast and share it with anyone who might benefit from the wisdom shared in this episode!
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
You know, it has always been on our, on our hearts and in
our minds that, okay, who do we want
to train them to be? Who do we want? Obviously, they're going to have their
own personalities, they're going to have their own giftings and talents and all of those
things. And so, you know, lead them in the way they should go. That's that
scripture, you know, are you going to want to be athletic, you intellectual,
(00:21):
are you mixture of both? Like, do you want to be in ministry? Do you
want to be an entrepreneur? But when it comes to their
character, we felt like that was a heavy, heavy
responsibility that we are to train them and
show them what godly character is. Because,
I mean, if you grew up to be an adult and the character's not there,
it's a lot harder to gain it once you're already an adult than to be
(00:44):
trained in it your whole life. And you can figure out, you know,
your education and your jobs and all those things later. But we were like, man,
the character aspect, that's really what we want to hone in on. And we
really want them to have that, like, ingrained from toddlerhood.
(01:04):
Welcome. It's the Colorado Homeschool Podcast.
Interviewing experts, parents, graduates,
all here to help you navigate this incredible journey called
homeschooling. And if you're looking for resources, tips and help,
go to CHEC.org, you'll, you'll find what you need. In the meantime,
subscribe, follow along. Well, good morning.
(01:26):
Hello and welcome. I'm your host, Kasia Davis. And today
we have a fun treat. I have a friend of mine, Ashley
Utili, joining us. She and her husband have four
boys and one sweet little girl ranging from
16 down to three. She is actually also a
pastor's wife. They have a home church and you can check that out up in
(01:48):
Broomfield. Reach Church Church up there. But today
we're talking about something really cool. We're talking about how
Ashley and her husband Kevin have been super intentional with raising
their boys with something that they call the Man
Year. I love the name of it. So, Ashley, welcome. Hi.
It's so nice to be able to chat with you about all these things. Yes.
(02:10):
We're so excited to have you here. Can you, first of all, Ashley,
you're in full time ministry, basically have been in full time ministry your whole
marriage, right? Yes, yeah, we have. That's amazing. I love
that. And I've heard you tell me some stories of how your children have been
involved in ministry. But let's just dive into the Man Year can you
tell me what that is and how that came to be? Yeah,
(02:32):
well, my husband was teaching a series through Proverbs.
And we had done this, I believe we had already done
this with our first son. We hadn't completed it with our second son yet.
But we did this thing called the man year where he thought, you know, there's
all these different cultures where they have these rites of
passage and it's like, okay, you're going to go do these different
(02:54):
challenges and then you're a man, you know, and we
knew that, you know, doing this from 12 to 13, it wasn't like, okay, you're
a man, go be a man. But it was more of this. We
are trying to be intentional with preparing you in these different areas of
life. And then when you turn 13, it's like, okay, we've taught you all these
things, now let's go practice them now let's talk about them. Just trying to be
(03:16):
intentional for that year. Kevin, my husband does
take the lead on this because our heart is that we're raising
men. So he wants to take that extra time with them. And
so I actually, I had mentioned this to you before. We have this.
He created like a principal thing that you can go through.
And so sorry, I'm going to be referencing it over here.
(03:38):
We've got these like challenges for
them. So there was a spiritual challenge, you know, what will help your child
become closer to Christ. Then relational,
what will help them navigate through good and bad friends, the opposite gender
and sex once they're married. A physical challenge.
So do something that will challenge your child's physical limits that you can do together.
(04:01):
Then there was a financial challenge. Help them create a source of
income, show them how to give, save and spend. Then we had
a mental challenge where we created a list of books they should read and then
had them write a report on each one. And then last
was personal, just something they really want to do and then
help them achieve that goal. So that was like the
(04:24):
basic side of it. And we went
through with our oldest who is now 16, and then our second, who is
now 14, and they did each of these things and it was a really
sweet time for them to have that with their dad. But then
also they learned a ton. That's amazing. So, and this is
basically a one year program. Like how detailed was it
(04:46):
or was it just with intentionality? You're going to focus on this
for series? Yeah, it was something we, I want to say
Kevin read about someone mentioning it somewhere
and so he pivoted and Changed it kind of for our
family. And so it wasn't necessarily a program. But then
we were like. When he was preparing for his Proverbs series,
(05:09):
he was like, you know, I think there's a lot of parents who don't have
something like this. And so he wanted to create it. So it
is, I guess, you know, each family can do their own thing, but this is
how we decided to do it. It wasn't super rigid. We just had
those different categories where he would say, let's help you pick the different
things you want to do, and then we'll help you with them.
(05:32):
There's another page he has where you can fill it out with your
kids. It's like the highlights of the teenage years when they're
13, 14, 15, 16, 17, and 18. And then you talk
about their passions and what career they might want to have potential
colleges. So we talked about all those things
in. In that year. But the main focus was these.
(05:54):
Let me. I'm going to count some three, four, five, six challenges. Okay. So this
is like a Bible study program, basically. Yeah. Yeah. I'd say that's
pretty accurate. Yeah. Okay. And how did this. Did this impact
your. Because you're obviously a homeschool family. So did this become
like every Monday we have, or how did that practically
fit into your daily homeschool life? Yeah, our daily
(06:16):
homeschool life. So, you know, in regard to, like, the. The mental
challenge, they had books they had to read throughout the year. So that was of
their, you know, I guess, literature curriculum almost where they
were. They were reading and writing their book reports, and we were grading them,
you know. Okay. And then the physical stuff, you know,
one of our sons did a 14er with my husband, and so
(06:38):
they were preparing for that. And as they were preparing and hiking and
different things, it kind of became like the PE situation.
And then a lot of the other things were more
like conversational. And so it would happen as. Because we
homeschool, they could go to work with dad, they could spend extra time
(07:00):
with him, and then there was more time for all these conversations.
And Kevin would bring his form with him, you know, of all the things
they were going to go through. And so when they would have that time together
is when they would chat about it. It was more dad and son
kind of a thing. And so the stuff that could apply to homeschool,
like the books and the physical prep we would do for
(07:22):
homesch. Nice. So I. I'm really loving,
and I'm thinking about goodness. Is this something that you could Even
I know you said you're going to offer it. We're going to put the link
below in our show notes so anybody can access it. But this I'm picturing, like,
this could be a cool program because it's reminding me of a small little.
Like, I did the focus on the family Passport to purity, which was like a
(07:43):
weekend away to talk about the birds and the bees with your kids, right? Yes.
Only this is a little bit more involved, a whole lot more
of life. I love how practical you have this. So
let's talk about some of the granular aspects of it. Yes. Was this,
like, six weeks of spiritual focus, or was this. All
six of these were covered over the year? Kind of. Yeah, intermittently.
(08:06):
It was all six throughout the whole year. And. Okay. It wasn't
necessarily like, pick one, complete it. Pick one, complete it.
It was more just through the whole year making. Wanting to
have intentional conversations, you know, in the spiritual aspect, what will help you
become closer to Jesus? And talking about all the things we had
learned and having different conversations at different times. You know,
(08:28):
talking about the relationship aspect. Sometimes it's, you know, talking
about what marriage should look like and having a girlfriend and then.
Or just good and bad friends and you're going into high school soon. And so
you got to be aware of these things. And so it was just
kind of each one throughout the whole entire year.
And, you know, it was. Whenever they wanted
(08:50):
to talk about something, we would talk about it. And if they didn't really want
to, we would pick the topic. So did your boys know that they were
in their man year? Like, did you make it a ceremony, a
presentation? How did that play? Tell. Tell me about that. So
when they turned 12, I think with our oldest, we were, you know, kind of
like it is with the oldest kids. It was kind of a guinea pig situation.
Yeah. Like, how are we gonna do this? What. How big do you want learn?
(09:13):
A lot more than them, probably. So I. I'm sure by our
fourth, it'll be, you know, tied with a pretty bow. But
it was when they turned 12, it was like, okay, we're doing your manure. Here's
this sheet of paper. Like, these are all the things you need to. You need
to pick some books, you need to memorize these scriptures. You need
to do all these things. And then for our second oldest, when
(09:36):
they went and did their fourteener, my husband found this, like,
big rock, you know, and then when he completed it, he had, like, a
little, like, plaque put on it. That was like, Ezra's man year.
So it's like that was something he got from their
14 or physical challenge. And he has it, you know, a stone of
remembrance. I love literally a stone.
(09:58):
Yeah. 13. That was one of our gifts to him, was to remember
all that he had learned that year. So I'm sure as the years go,
we'll try to find some kind of, for lack of a better term,
trinket or stone of remembrance would be a better
term to put something on for them to remember all the things that they learned
and did. And I have to tell you guys, I have met their
(10:20):
family and their 16. Titus is the oldest, right?
Yes. Yeah, he is. Oh, like,
good job. I love it. Your children, all of them are
fabulous. So every encounter that I've had with them and
Ashley mentioned it a little bit because they are in ministry, the kids
are involved and they go and do things. So did that change during
(10:41):
the man year? Was there more? Did you. It's really. They get
a lot more time with Kevin. That's. That's Evan's
whole focus is this is their manure. This is when I'm gonna really
bring them along to
everything. You know, they would a lot of times just throw
their homework in their backpack, take it with dad. If he had a counseling
(11:05):
appointment, they would kind of just sit and get their math work done, get their
language arts done. And then as they're driving to and from
running errands, picking up stuff. My husband does a lot of like remodeling for
the church and things. So if they're going to get material or this or that,
there he's talking about. This is how you pick out a two by
four. You know, just silly things, but like things that, you know, a
(11:26):
grown man should know. So just. It's that scripture, when you walk, when you talk,
when you sit, when you. That whole thing, that's the mentality just bringing them
into everything and then having more opportunity
for more conversation and more ability to be intentional. And then
with the man, you're is a little more focused. Yeah.
So was there a schedule for it or was it just as opportunity
(11:48):
presented and Kevin was super intentional? Yes, just as opportunity
presented itself. And Kevin by nature is a really, really
intentional person. So he takes every opportunity that he can
and just rolls with it. And so having this in the back of his mind
of, okay, these are the things we're going over this year. He would take every
opportunity to have a serious conversation, fun
(12:10):
conversation, depending on how it all is going. What I'm hearing from
you is so great. I love that. But I can, I can imagine that we
have some listeners who are going, but I don't have a Kevin who is
going to be super intentional that is going to like set that up. So do
you have any encouragement for that? I would say as a
homeschool mom, you can absolutely do this as well. I don't
(12:32):
think it has to be where you have to have a significant amount
of alone time. Even, you know, you can incorporate this into your
lessons where, you know, every Monday morning or
Tuesday morning or whatever, you know, works for your family. You take.
Okay, we're going to talk about the spiritual aspect of you growing up.
Let's take the next month and let's go over it together. And then every
(12:54):
Monday is as the mom, you're going over what you hope they would
know, what you hope they would learn how to have a devotional life or,
you know, things of that nature, relationships, things that as a woman, if
you have a daughter talking about, you know, what you want her to find in
a husband or for your son, what you would hope they would find in a
wife, or the physical challenges, if you're not super physical, you can like
(13:17):
cheer them on to do something physical. So I absolutely think that
as a homeschool moment, you could facilitate this. Don't lose heart.
Yeah. Homeschool lessons at home with other
kids. And I think that's totally doable.
Okay, I love that and I love that you have and you're willing to share
that whole plan. The, the study through Proverbs,
(13:39):
because, you know, I said this before we started recording. CHEC's mission is
that our mission statement is that we envision families embracing home
discipleship. That is parent discipline, direct, well, Christ centered, parent directed and free
from government control. And it doesn't say anything about education because
discipleship is so important. It's where in my
opinion, and I think many people would agree that it's
(14:01):
the children are our future. I mean, I'm hearing a cheesy song from
the 80s now, but they really are where
our children grow and what they are able to do is what our country is
going to do. And discipling them in the ways of the Lord is this is
a commandment for us to do as parents, right? It is, it is.
Yeah. I 100% agree. And I love everything about what you guys have said. I
(14:22):
love you. You told me that you guys say love Jesus
and work hard. Can you unpack that for me? What does that mean in your
family? I think you know, every family or each
set of Parents, I should say, have things that are really important
to them. And, you know, my parents
worked extremely hard, and so did Kevin's parents. And so I think it was just
(14:45):
something within both of us that we like, we're gonna work hard.
Because it honors Jesus to work hard. It is. It does honor
Jesus. Yeah. Whether it's your marriage, you're working hard at your marriage, whether it's working
hard and being intentional with your kids, whether it's obviously
working hard at your job and honoring your boss and honoring the Lord by not
being lazy. You know, like, there's so many avenues of our lives where we
(15:07):
can. Working hard at other relationships, working hard at discipling other people,
being on mission, evangelizing. There's so many ways that we can work
hard and so forth for our family. It is just one
of those core values where we're like, we're gonna love Jesus. And if we're loving
Jesus really well, we're gonna work hard and all the areas
and rest properly. But working hard will provide
(15:30):
rest as well. So we want our kids especially.
We're kind of thinking now, like, okay, the Lord knew we were gonna have four
sons that are gonna be spiritual leaders and providing for their
family. So it kind of makes sense that the Lord put this on our hearts,
like, long, long time ago, because we're like, you guys better get it now, because
if you want a family, you better work hard. It's important. Right? Yeah.
(15:51):
Yeah. So what do you think? Because, I mean, you're up in
what I like to call. Well, I. I won't. I won't be negative,
but you're up in the Boulder area, which is super, super liberal.
It is. And there is this term called toxic masculinity
that's kind of going through our nation. And here you're doing man
year, and you're teaching your child about sex strength. So tell me your
(16:14):
stance on that and how do you engage with the culture? Because is your church
really young? Do you have a lot of, like, college students? And we have a
really wide range. We've got a really wide demographic.
Older folks, young families, young married, you know, college,
you know, a really wide range of folks. But when it comes to
toxic masculinity, Kevin and I have never, like.
(16:35):
We've always just been like, yeah, no,
no, we're not buying that. You know, and
we both are kind of like. We just.
How am I going to say this in the best way? We're just truth
tellers, and we're kind of black and white, and so we're like, sorry, no, like
if you look, if you look at the Bible, that's how
(16:58):
God wanted it. And God wanted, obviously he wants
strong women too. But like God has put
the man in charge of the family to lead, to guide to direct,
to spiritually do all of those things as well.
And so I'm happy, like I just told someone this the other night. I'm happy.
That's not my job. I will happily like link
(17:21):
arms, support, you know, lead alongside. But
my husband does it really well in that he is very loving and kind
and gracious. It's not a like domineering. I think the way that the culture looks
at it, it's right and you know, domineering, chauvinistic thing where that's not
what God created or wanted. And I know some people take liberty in that and
use it the wrong way. But I think when it's done
(17:43):
Jesus's way, in a spirit filled manner,
that's not how it's done. It's masculinity. God created
femininity and masculinity and he wants us to
function within those roles. And that's really where we want
to focus with our kids, is you're growing into a
man. We want you to be masculine. We still, yes. You know,
(18:05):
tender toward women and children. Tender toward the Lord, their baby
sister and the mama and. Yeah, tender for the Lord and what he wants
to do. But when it comes time, like men are the ones that are called
to go to war, you know, whether it's for your family or literally.
And so we want to instill that within them and
we don't take a bite out of the pie of toxic masculinity. We just don't
(18:28):
roll with it. Yeah, so. So is it something that you're confronted with or you're
just like, eh, whatever and you move on? You know where
our church is? Broomfield is like 20 minutes from Boulder. So we
don't get a ton of it. We did plant a church in Boulder and when
we were there, there's a little more conflict because of
what we believe. But in Broomfield, it's hasn't been as
(18:50):
significant. The conflict, I should say. Yeah,
okay. So it's not in your faces much, I feel like culturally, but it's really
great to have those conversations with your kids, to prepare them. Yes. And with
intentionality. Yeah. Nice. Yeah, I love that. Okay, so
I'm looking at your list, spiritual, relational, physical, financial,
mental, and then personal. So can you give me some
(19:12):
examples of specifically the personal? Because that you let them
kind of direct. Right? One of our sons really wanted to get good at
football. And so that was like, he's like, I want to play football. I
want to like. And my husband was really good at it in high school, so
he was like, want you to help me run drills with me? I want to,
you know, I want my position. I forget, I think it was running back or
(19:33):
something. And so he was like, I really want to do this. I want to
start playing football. I want to be good, I want to. And so it was
literally whatever their personal goal was. Okay.
That's what we. So anything that they wanted. And if it, you know, I have
a feeling my. One of my younger sons, he's very intellectual. I could see him
being like, I want to learn about, you know, this scientific yada, yada. I don't
know. He just is in that way. So whatever one of their personal
(19:56):
goals is, that's really what we want to help them achieve.
Anything. Nothing is off limits. Whatever they want to do, we're good to help them
with. Okay. And we skipped over the financial. We actually did a
podcast with the family just talking about having an
entrepreneurial mindset. I always stumble over that word. But yeah,
and tell me about that, because you said in, when you described it, you said
(20:17):
you helped them figure out how they can make money. Yeah. And save money. So
budgeting, that's really good. But the make money aspect, how does that
play out? We help them create a source of income. So our first son,
he started a lawn mowing and snow shoveling business and
we helped him create business cards. We helped him create, like
he went around the neighborhood with a clipboard and was just like, I'm starting
(20:40):
my lawn mowing and snow shoveling business. Can I help you with
that this summer or this winter? And through
that, I think he got like five or six weekly folks
where he was going to mow their lawns and then when the snow would come,
he was the one shoveling their snow. And then for years,
even after he was like, not really doing that, people would text and call
(21:02):
him to say, hey, I've got this extra, you know,
work I need done in my yard. Can you come help me? And so it's
really facilitated him being able to see, save.
And I mean, he's 16, he's going to buy his own car. But that's like
where it started was going around the neighborhood and,
you know, depending on their age and where you live and safety
(21:23):
wise, we would have a sibling or a parent go with them. But it
was that knocking on the door, having to give your little sales
pitch, tell them who you are, ask for their information,
keep good communication, answer when they call, make your
schedule. You know, I've got Tuesdays at this time. I can come over.
You know, executive function. I love it. I love it so much.
(21:45):
You know what cracks me up is from the homeschool outside perspective, the first
question everybody asks is, what about socialization?
And here you're making your child go door to door, which is a
very intense social situation. And he thrived.
Yes. Oh, he does. Yeah. And I feel like as. As homeschool
kids, they can have conversations from toddlers to
(22:09):
little kids to people their age to older folks, and
it's not a problem. So. Oh, I really love it. I
love hearing the intentionality of it. And you mentioned it. You
kind of hinted that you and your husband have talked about this from even before
you had kids. We just always knew we wanted a big family.
And we both are pretty intentional
(22:32):
in relationships in general. And so we knew when we were
going to have kids. And then when we had our first son, it was like,
okay, from the moment he was born, it was like, yeah, you're a baby, but
we're raising you to be a man. Like, there was just always in our mind
that we wanted to filter our decisions through.
How will this affect you as a man when you're older?
(22:55):
How will this affect your character? We're really big on
character in our house. You know, our kids, even. It'll be like, okay, why are
we having this conversation? Why is this discipline happening? What do we care the most
about our character? You know, it's so
cute. Yeah. And so that's just always been a filter for us through
our whole parenting season, has been
(23:16):
character, and we're raising men, and now we're going to raise a woman too. Now
we have a daughter. But just through all those seasons and
decisions, we wanted to be intentional. I am in Parenting
2.0, is what I call it, as a grandparent. So my kids are 30 and
28, and we have grandkids, and I have the privilege of
telling them, it's okay, you're gonna make mistakes, be intentional,
(23:38):
but walk in grace. Right. So I love that. But what you said,
something that I say constantly with. Because I talk to brand
new families who are just starting homeschooling, and I always tell them, the first
thing you need to do is figure out why you're doing it. Write down your
mission statement, because if you don't know where you're going, you don't. Anything
will get you there. Right. So you can filter your options, because there's a lot
(23:59):
of options. But you said something that is so key. You said, yes, you're a
baby, but we're raising you to be a man. Yeah. And that is
so important. Like, you have to begin with the end in
mind. What do we want? What is true education? So have you and your husband
talked about that? It sounds like you have maybe, maybe not
framed it in that way, but you've discussed what is the end goal.
(24:22):
Oh, absolutely. I mean, literally, we've talked about having
adult kids since they were born. You
know, it has always been on our. On our hearts and in
our minds that, okay, who do we want
to train them to be? Who do we want? Obviously, they're going to have their
own personalities. They're going to have their own giftings and talents and all of those
(24:43):
things. And so, you know, lead them in the way they should go. That's that
scripture, you know, are you going to want to be athletic, you intellectual?
Are you mixture of both. Like, do you want to be in ministry? Do you
want to be an entrepreneur? But when it comes to their
character, we felt like that was a heavy, heavy
responsibility that we are to train them
and show them what godly character is. Because,
(25:07):
I mean, if you grew up to be an adult and the character's not there,
it's a lot harder to gain it once you're already an adult than to be
trained in it your whole life. And you can figure out, you know,
your education and your jobs and all those things later. But we were like, man,
the character aspect, aspect, that's really what we want to hone in on. And we
really want them to have that, like, ingrained from toddlerhood. You
(25:27):
know, this is why we do what we do. We want to have godly
character. I love it. I so love it so much,
Ashley. It. I, you know, I said it just now, my children
are adults, but every time I start talking to these parents that are in the
thick of it, doing this, the fun work, which is the hard work, it makes
me want to do it again. I'm. Because there's things I would do
(25:49):
differently, but it is such a sweet process. It's difficult.
There's a sacrifice for sure, but it's really fantastic to be
shaping these people. Right. Well, I'm noticing that even the fact that we get
to have our daughter, you know, our oldest is 16 and our
daughter is 3. So it's almost like we completely started over and so now we're
in this place of, oh, man, we get to do this again and get to
(26:11):
cherish it one last time before it's all gone.
And you're right. It really is. I've sat down with a few moms recently that
are just in the toddler, like, really little kid phase. And it
is just, like, so physically demanding. And everything is, like, is anything I'm
doing, you know? And so I'm just like, man,
the fruit. It comes later. But when it does, it's
(26:34):
so sweet. Like, to see my older kids getting up and
reading their Bibles on their own because they want to, or jumping up and
helping because it's in their character to jump up and help.
And all the work for so many years and all the
prayers and all the intentional conversations, we're starting to see glimpses
of it coming to fruition. And, man, is it worth it. So
(26:56):
that would be like, my. My parting thing would
just be like, keep praying, keep having the conversations.
Keep loving them. Keep doing the hard work. That is
exhausting, because it is going to pay off, and you're going to have
wonderful adult kids. Yes. I love
that. I was listening to, actually, it's so
(27:18):
random, but a capital hearing. One of the pastors, and he said,
let me tell you something. It is impossible to make somebody be a Christian. And
I was like, you know, that's true. We can teach our children. We can
demonstrate it. We can. And that's what a lot of what you talked about in
your man years, making me think about, like, what questions
or what can you do to own your faith? Because there's no grandkids
(27:40):
in heaven. Right. It's a personal relationship, and you're just
setting the ground for your children to pick up the mantle and go,
okay. As for me, in my house, I will serve the Lord.
So good. Ashley, this is great. I am
excited. I actually. My kids are older, obviously, but I have grandkids, and
I'm going to pass this on to my children and say, guys, you should consider
(28:01):
this. I really love it. I think it works for your family because you
already were intentional. You already. It wasn't just one year that you
invested. It sounds like their whole life. And. And that is our
heart. We want to do that as parents. Right? We really do. Yeah. And it's
worth it. The investment will always be worth it. Oh, I love it. Well,
we thank you for your time, Ashley. We like to close all of our
(28:23):
interviews by asking our guests. One of.
It's such a hard disclaimer, but the best or a really good
tip that you received as a homeschool parent, what would you. Whether
it's what we talked about or something else. Yes. You know,
I would say that it's okay to find your identity
as a family and to roll with it. You know, if you
(28:45):
guys are super intellectual and you want the
academic side of things to be your main focus, go there. But like,
for us, I was pretty self conscious for a long time because
it felt like academics was like a bonus to our
being intentional aspect. So I would just say have grace for yourselves
and talk with your spouse. Or if it's, if it's just you
(29:07):
homeschooling, ask Jesus, like, what am I supposed to do with
my kids? How are we supposed to have this homeschool journey? What is it supposed
to look like? What are our goals? What's the why? And then functioning within
that and just trusting the Lord that he's leading you and guiding you. Because there's
so many blogs and so many, you know, podcasts and so many things that it
can be so overwhelming with what am I supposed to do? And so finding, like
(29:29):
you mentioned finding that why, why are we doing it? And then
just, you know, funneling your kids through that why.
So, oh, that's a great way to end. I love it. Because you're right,
comparison is the thief of joy. And contentment goes out the
wind away. For me in the beginning I was like, I'm supposed to do all
these things. So, you know, that was a fantastic
(29:50):
tip. Thanks, Ashley, and thank you for being with us. I will post
the link to the Man Year curriculum,
we're going to call it that. Her husband went through that study and then
obviously you can find her and her husband at Reach Church.
So thank you all for being here with us. Yeah, it was an honor to
be with you guys. Thank you so much for
(30:11):
joining us today. The Colorado Homeschool podcast is a
ministry of Christian Home Educators of Colorado. We have been
motivating parents to disciple the next generation by embracing
home discipleship that is Christ centered, parent directed and free from
government control. We invite you to join us in this mission. If you want to
support homeschooling in Colorado, go to CHEC.org
(30:33):
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Brought to you by thepodcastupload.com empowering
faith driven voices.
You know, it has always been on our, on our hearts and in
our minds that, okay, who do we want
to train them to be? Who do we want? Obviously, they're going to have their
own personalities, they're going to have their own giftings and talents and all of those
things. And so, you know, lead them in the way they should go. That's that
scripture, you know, are you going to want to be athletic, you intellectual,
(00:21):
are you mixture of both? Like, do you want to be in ministry? Do you
want to be an entrepreneur? But when it comes to their
character, we felt like that was a heavy, heavy
responsibility that we are to train them and
show them what godly character is. Because,
I mean, if you grew up to be an adult and the character's not there,
it's a lot harder to gain it once you're already an adult than to be
(00:44):
trained in it your whole life. And you can figure out, you know,
your education and your jobs and all those things later. But we were like, man,
the character aspect, that's really what we want to hone in on. And we
really want them to have that, like, ingrained from toddlerhood.
(01:04):
Welcome. It's the Colorado Homeschool Podcast.
Interviewing experts, parents, graduates,
all here to help you navigate this incredible journey called
homeschooling. And if you're looking for resources, tips and help,
go to CHEC.org, you'll, you'll find what you need. In the meantime,
subscribe, follow along. Well, good morning.
(01:26):
Hello and welcome. I'm your host, Kasia Davis. And today
we have a fun treat. I have a friend of mine, Ashley
Utili, joining us. She and her husband have four
boys and one sweet little girl ranging from
16 down to three. She is actually also a
pastor's wife. They have a home church and you can check that out up in
(01:48):
Broomfield. Reach Church Church up there. But today
we're talking about something really cool. We're talking about how
Ashley and her husband Kevin have been super intentional with raising
their boys with something that they call the Man
Year. I love the name of it. So, Ashley, welcome. Hi.
It's so nice to be able to chat with you about all these things. Yes.
(02:10):
We're so excited to have you here. Can you, first of all, Ashley,
you're in full time ministry, basically have been in full time ministry your whole
marriage, right? Yes, yeah, we have. That's amazing. I love
that. And I've heard you tell me some stories of how your children have been
involved in ministry. But let's just dive into the Man Year can you
tell me what that is and how that came to be? Yeah,
(02:32):
well, my husband was teaching a series through Proverbs.
And we had done this, I believe we had already done
this with our first son. We hadn't completed it with our second son yet.
But we did this thing called the man year where he thought, you know, there's
all these different cultures where they have these rites of
passage and it's like, okay, you're going to go do these different
(02:54):
challenges and then you're a man, you know, and we
knew that, you know, doing this from 12 to 13, it wasn't like, okay, you're
a man, go be a man. But it was more of this. We
are trying to be intentional with preparing you in these different areas of
life. And then when you turn 13, it's like, okay, we've taught you all these
things, now let's go practice them now let's talk about them. Just trying to be
(03:16):
intentional for that year. Kevin, my husband does
take the lead on this because our heart is that we're raising
men. So he wants to take that extra time with them. And
so I actually, I had mentioned this to you before. We have this.
He created like a principal thing that you can go through.
And so sorry, I'm going to be referencing it over here.
(03:38):
We've got these like challenges for
them. So there was a spiritual challenge, you know, what will help your child
become closer to Christ. Then relational,
what will help them navigate through good and bad friends, the opposite gender
and sex once they're married. A physical challenge.
So do something that will challenge your child's physical limits that you can do together.
(04:01):
Then there was a financial challenge. Help them create a source of
income, show them how to give, save and spend. Then we had
a mental challenge where we created a list of books they should read and then
had them write a report on each one. And then last
was personal, just something they really want to do and then
help them achieve that goal. So that was like the
(04:24):
basic side of it. And we went
through with our oldest who is now 16, and then our second, who is
now 14, and they did each of these things and it was a really
sweet time for them to have that with their dad. But then
also they learned a ton. That's amazing. So, and this is
basically a one year program. Like how detailed was it
(04:46):
or was it just with intentionality? You're going to focus on this
for series? Yeah, it was something we, I want to say
Kevin read about someone mentioning it somewhere
and so he pivoted and Changed it kind of for our
family. And so it wasn't necessarily a program. But then
we were like. When he was preparing for his Proverbs series,
(05:09):
he was like, you know, I think there's a lot of parents who don't have
something like this. And so he wanted to create it. So it
is, I guess, you know, each family can do their own thing, but this is
how we decided to do it. It wasn't super rigid. We just had
those different categories where he would say, let's help you pick the different
things you want to do, and then we'll help you with them.
(05:32):
There's another page he has where you can fill it out with your
kids. It's like the highlights of the teenage years when they're
13, 14, 15, 16, 17, and 18. And then you talk
about their passions and what career they might want to have potential
colleges. So we talked about all those things
in. In that year. But the main focus was these.
(05:54):
Let me. I'm going to count some three, four, five, six challenges. Okay. So this
is like a Bible study program, basically. Yeah. Yeah. I'd say that's
pretty accurate. Yeah. Okay. And how did this. Did this impact
your. Because you're obviously a homeschool family. So did this become
like every Monday we have, or how did that practically
fit into your daily homeschool life? Yeah, our daily
(06:16):
homeschool life. So, you know, in regard to, like, the. The mental
challenge, they had books they had to read throughout the year. So that was of
their, you know, I guess, literature curriculum almost where they
were. They were reading and writing their book reports, and we were grading them,
you know. Okay. And then the physical stuff, you know,
one of our sons did a 14er with my husband, and so
(06:38):
they were preparing for that. And as they were preparing and hiking and
different things, it kind of became like the PE situation.
And then a lot of the other things were more
like conversational. And so it would happen as. Because we
homeschool, they could go to work with dad, they could spend extra time
(07:00):
with him, and then there was more time for all these conversations.
And Kevin would bring his form with him, you know, of all the things
they were going to go through. And so when they would have that time together
is when they would chat about it. It was more dad and son
kind of a thing. And so the stuff that could apply to homeschool,
like the books and the physical prep we would do for
(07:22):
homesch. Nice. So I. I'm really loving,
and I'm thinking about goodness. Is this something that you could Even
I know you said you're going to offer it. We're going to put the link
below in our show notes so anybody can access it. But this I'm picturing, like,
this could be a cool program because it's reminding me of a small little.
Like, I did the focus on the family Passport to purity, which was like a
(07:43):
weekend away to talk about the birds and the bees with your kids, right? Yes.
Only this is a little bit more involved, a whole lot more
of life. I love how practical you have this. So
let's talk about some of the granular aspects of it. Yes. Was this,
like, six weeks of spiritual focus, or was this. All
six of these were covered over the year? Kind of. Yeah, intermittently.
(08:06):
It was all six throughout the whole year. And. Okay. It wasn't
necessarily like, pick one, complete it. Pick one, complete it.
It was more just through the whole year making. Wanting to
have intentional conversations, you know, in the spiritual aspect, what will help you
become closer to Jesus? And talking about all the things we had
learned and having different conversations at different times. You know,
(08:28):
talking about the relationship aspect. Sometimes it's, you know, talking
about what marriage should look like and having a girlfriend and then.
Or just good and bad friends and you're going into high school soon. And so
you got to be aware of these things. And so it was just
kind of each one throughout the whole entire year.
And, you know, it was. Whenever they wanted
(08:50):
to talk about something, we would talk about it. And if they didn't really want
to, we would pick the topic. So did your boys know that they were
in their man year? Like, did you make it a ceremony, a
presentation? How did that play? Tell. Tell me about that. So
when they turned 12, I think with our oldest, we were, you know, kind of
like it is with the oldest kids. It was kind of a guinea pig situation.
Yeah. Like, how are we gonna do this? What. How big do you want learn?
(09:13):
A lot more than them, probably. So I. I'm sure by our
fourth, it'll be, you know, tied with a pretty bow. But
it was when they turned 12, it was like, okay, we're doing your manure. Here's
this sheet of paper. Like, these are all the things you need to. You need
to pick some books, you need to memorize these scriptures. You need
to do all these things. And then for our second oldest, when
(09:36):
they went and did their fourteener, my husband found this, like,
big rock, you know, and then when he completed it, he had, like, a
little, like, plaque put on it. That was like, Ezra's man year.
So it's like that was something he got from their
14 or physical challenge. And he has it, you know, a stone of
remembrance. I love literally a stone.
(09:58):
Yeah. 13. That was one of our gifts to him, was to remember
all that he had learned that year. So I'm sure as the years go,
we'll try to find some kind of, for lack of a better term,
trinket or stone of remembrance would be a better
term to put something on for them to remember all the things that they learned
and did. And I have to tell you guys, I have met their
(10:20):
family and their 16. Titus is the oldest, right?
Yes. Yeah, he is. Oh, like,
good job. I love it. Your children, all of them are
fabulous. So every encounter that I've had with them and
Ashley mentioned it a little bit because they are in ministry, the kids
are involved and they go and do things. So did that change during
(10:41):
the man year? Was there more? Did you. It's really. They get
a lot more time with Kevin. That's. That's Evan's
whole focus is this is their manure. This is when I'm gonna really
bring them along to
everything. You know, they would a lot of times just throw
their homework in their backpack, take it with dad. If he had a counseling
(11:05):
appointment, they would kind of just sit and get their math work done, get their
language arts done. And then as they're driving to and from
running errands, picking up stuff. My husband does a lot of like remodeling for
the church and things. So if they're going to get material or this or that,
there he's talking about. This is how you pick out a two by
four. You know, just silly things, but like things that, you know, a
(11:26):
grown man should know. So just. It's that scripture, when you walk, when you talk,
when you sit, when you. That whole thing, that's the mentality just bringing them
into everything and then having more opportunity
for more conversation and more ability to be intentional. And then
with the man, you're is a little more focused. Yeah.
So was there a schedule for it or was it just as opportunity
(11:48):
presented and Kevin was super intentional? Yes, just as opportunity
presented itself. And Kevin by nature is a really, really
intentional person. So he takes every opportunity that he can
and just rolls with it. And so having this in the back of his mind
of, okay, these are the things we're going over this year. He would take every
opportunity to have a serious conversation, fun
(12:10):
conversation, depending on how it all is going. What I'm hearing from
you is so great. I love that. But I can, I can imagine that we
have some listeners who are going, but I don't have a Kevin who is
going to be super intentional that is going to like set that up. So do
you have any encouragement for that? I would say as a
homeschool mom, you can absolutely do this as well. I don't
(12:32):
think it has to be where you have to have a significant amount
of alone time. Even, you know, you can incorporate this into your
lessons where, you know, every Monday morning or
Tuesday morning or whatever, you know, works for your family. You take.
Okay, we're going to talk about the spiritual aspect of you growing up.
Let's take the next month and let's go over it together. And then every
(12:54):
Monday is as the mom, you're going over what you hope they would
know, what you hope they would learn how to have a devotional life or,
you know, things of that nature, relationships, things that as a woman, if
you have a daughter talking about, you know, what you want her to find in
a husband or for your son, what you would hope they would find in a
wife, or the physical challenges, if you're not super physical, you can like
(13:17):
cheer them on to do something physical. So I absolutely think that
as a homeschool moment, you could facilitate this. Don't lose heart.
Yeah. Homeschool lessons at home with other
kids. And I think that's totally doable.
Okay, I love that and I love that you have and you're willing to share
that whole plan. The, the study through Proverbs,
(13:39):
because, you know, I said this before we started recording. CHEC's mission is
that our mission statement is that we envision families embracing home
discipleship. That is parent discipline, direct, well, Christ centered, parent directed and free
from government control. And it doesn't say anything about education because
discipleship is so important. It's where in my
opinion, and I think many people would agree that it's
(14:01):
the children are our future. I mean, I'm hearing a cheesy song from
the 80s now, but they really are where
our children grow and what they are able to do is what our country is
going to do. And discipling them in the ways of the Lord is this is
a commandment for us to do as parents, right? It is, it is.
Yeah. I 100% agree. And I love everything about what you guys have said. I
(14:22):
love you. You told me that you guys say love Jesus
and work hard. Can you unpack that for me? What does that mean in your
family? I think you know, every family or each
set of Parents, I should say, have things that are really important
to them. And, you know, my parents
worked extremely hard, and so did Kevin's parents. And so I think it was just
(14:45):
something within both of us that we like, we're gonna work hard.
Because it honors Jesus to work hard. It is. It does honor
Jesus. Yeah. Whether it's your marriage, you're working hard at your marriage, whether it's working
hard and being intentional with your kids, whether it's obviously
working hard at your job and honoring your boss and honoring the Lord by not
being lazy. You know, like, there's so many avenues of our lives where we
(15:07):
can. Working hard at other relationships, working hard at discipling other people,
being on mission, evangelizing. There's so many ways that we can work
hard and so forth for our family. It is just one
of those core values where we're like, we're gonna love Jesus. And if we're loving
Jesus really well, we're gonna work hard and all the areas
and rest properly. But working hard will provide
(15:30):
rest as well. So we want our kids especially.
We're kind of thinking now, like, okay, the Lord knew we were gonna have four
sons that are gonna be spiritual leaders and providing for their
family. So it kind of makes sense that the Lord put this on our hearts,
like, long, long time ago, because we're like, you guys better get it now, because
if you want a family, you better work hard. It's important. Right? Yeah.
(15:51):
Yeah. So what do you think? Because, I mean, you're up in
what I like to call. Well, I. I won't. I won't be negative,
but you're up in the Boulder area, which is super, super liberal.
It is. And there is this term called toxic masculinity
that's kind of going through our nation. And here you're doing man
year, and you're teaching your child about sex strength. So tell me your
(16:14):
stance on that and how do you engage with the culture? Because is your church
really young? Do you have a lot of, like, college students? And we have a
really wide range. We've got a really wide demographic.
Older folks, young families, young married, you know, college,
you know, a really wide range of folks. But when it comes to
toxic masculinity, Kevin and I have never, like.
(16:35):
We've always just been like, yeah, no,
no, we're not buying that. You know, and
we both are kind of like. We just.
How am I going to say this in the best way? We're just truth
tellers, and we're kind of black and white, and so we're like, sorry, no, like
if you look, if you look at the Bible, that's how
(16:58):
God wanted it. And God wanted, obviously he wants
strong women too. But like God has put
the man in charge of the family to lead, to guide to direct,
to spiritually do all of those things as well.
And so I'm happy, like I just told someone this the other night. I'm happy.
That's not my job. I will happily like link
(17:21):
arms, support, you know, lead alongside. But
my husband does it really well in that he is very loving and kind
and gracious. It's not a like domineering. I think the way that the culture looks
at it, it's right and you know, domineering, chauvinistic thing where that's not
what God created or wanted. And I know some people take liberty in that and
use it the wrong way. But I think when it's done
(17:43):
Jesus's way, in a spirit filled manner,
that's not how it's done. It's masculinity. God created
femininity and masculinity and he wants us to
function within those roles. And that's really where we want
to focus with our kids, is you're growing into a
man. We want you to be masculine. We still, yes. You know,
(18:05):
tender toward women and children. Tender toward the Lord, their baby
sister and the mama and. Yeah, tender for the Lord and what he wants
to do. But when it comes time, like men are the ones that are called
to go to war, you know, whether it's for your family or literally.
And so we want to instill that within them and
we don't take a bite out of the pie of toxic masculinity. We just don't
(18:28):
roll with it. Yeah, so. So is it something that you're confronted with or you're
just like, eh, whatever and you move on? You know where
our church is? Broomfield is like 20 minutes from Boulder. So we
don't get a ton of it. We did plant a church in Boulder and when
we were there, there's a little more conflict because of
what we believe. But in Broomfield, it's hasn't been as
(18:50):
significant. The conflict, I should say. Yeah,
okay. So it's not in your faces much, I feel like culturally, but it's really
great to have those conversations with your kids, to prepare them. Yes. And with
intentionality. Yeah. Nice. Yeah, I love that. Okay, so
I'm looking at your list, spiritual, relational, physical, financial,
mental, and then personal. So can you give me some
(19:12):
examples of specifically the personal? Because that you let them
kind of direct. Right? One of our sons really wanted to get good at
football. And so that was like, he's like, I want to play football. I
want to like. And my husband was really good at it in high school, so
he was like, want you to help me run drills with me? I want to,
you know, I want my position. I forget, I think it was running back or
(19:33):
something. And so he was like, I really want to do this. I want to
start playing football. I want to be good, I want to. And so it was
literally whatever their personal goal was. Okay.
That's what we. So anything that they wanted. And if it, you know, I have
a feeling my. One of my younger sons, he's very intellectual. I could see him
being like, I want to learn about, you know, this scientific yada, yada. I don't
know. He just is in that way. So whatever one of their personal
(19:56):
goals is, that's really what we want to help them achieve.
Anything. Nothing is off limits. Whatever they want to do, we're good to help them
with. Okay. And we skipped over the financial. We actually did a
podcast with the family just talking about having an
entrepreneurial mindset. I always stumble over that word. But yeah,
and tell me about that, because you said in, when you described it, you said
(20:17):
you helped them figure out how they can make money. Yeah. And save money. So
budgeting, that's really good. But the make money aspect, how does that
play out? We help them create a source of income. So our first son,
he started a lawn mowing and snow shoveling business and
we helped him create business cards. We helped him create, like
he went around the neighborhood with a clipboard and was just like, I'm starting
(20:40):
my lawn mowing and snow shoveling business. Can I help you with
that this summer or this winter? And through
that, I think he got like five or six weekly folks
where he was going to mow their lawns and then when the snow would come,
he was the one shoveling their snow. And then for years,
even after he was like, not really doing that, people would text and call
(21:02):
him to say, hey, I've got this extra, you know,
work I need done in my yard. Can you come help me? And so it's
really facilitated him being able to see, save.
And I mean, he's 16, he's going to buy his own car. But that's like
where it started was going around the neighborhood and,
you know, depending on their age and where you live and safety
(21:23):
wise, we would have a sibling or a parent go with them. But it
was that knocking on the door, having to give your little sales
pitch, tell them who you are, ask for their information,
keep good communication, answer when they call, make your
schedule. You know, I've got Tuesdays at this time. I can come over.
You know, executive function. I love it. I love it so much.
(21:45):
You know what cracks me up is from the homeschool outside perspective, the first
question everybody asks is, what about socialization?
And here you're making your child go door to door, which is a
very intense social situation. And he thrived.
Yes. Oh, he does. Yeah. And I feel like as. As homeschool
kids, they can have conversations from toddlers to
(22:09):
little kids to people their age to older folks, and
it's not a problem. So. Oh, I really love it. I
love hearing the intentionality of it. And you mentioned it. You
kind of hinted that you and your husband have talked about this from even before
you had kids. We just always knew we wanted a big family.
And we both are pretty intentional
(22:32):
in relationships in general. And so we knew when we were
going to have kids. And then when we had our first son, it was like,
okay, from the moment he was born, it was like, yeah, you're a baby, but
we're raising you to be a man. Like, there was just always in our mind
that we wanted to filter our decisions through.
How will this affect you as a man when you're older?
(22:55):
How will this affect your character? We're really big on
character in our house. You know, our kids, even. It'll be like, okay, why are
we having this conversation? Why is this discipline happening? What do we care the most
about our character? You know, it's so
cute. Yeah. And so that's just always been a filter for us through
our whole parenting season, has been
(23:16):
character, and we're raising men, and now we're going to raise a woman too. Now
we have a daughter. But just through all those seasons and
decisions, we wanted to be intentional. I am in Parenting
2.0, is what I call it, as a grandparent. So my kids are 30 and
28, and we have grandkids, and I have the privilege of
telling them, it's okay, you're gonna make mistakes, be intentional,
(23:38):
but walk in grace. Right. So I love that. But what you said,
something that I say constantly with. Because I talk to brand
new families who are just starting homeschooling, and I always tell them, the first
thing you need to do is figure out why you're doing it. Write down your
mission statement, because if you don't know where you're going, you don't. Anything
will get you there. Right. So you can filter your options, because there's a lot
(23:59):
of options. But you said something that is so key. You said, yes, you're a
baby, but we're raising you to be a man. Yeah. And that is
so important. Like, you have to begin with the end in
mind. What do we want? What is true education? So have you and your husband
talked about that? It sounds like you have maybe, maybe not
framed it in that way, but you've discussed what is the end goal.
(24:22):
Oh, absolutely. I mean, literally, we've talked about having
adult kids since they were born. You
know, it has always been on our. On our hearts and in
our minds that, okay, who do we want
to train them to be? Who do we want? Obviously, they're going to have their
own personalities. They're going to have their own giftings and talents and all of those
(24:43):
things. And so, you know, lead them in the way they should go. That's that
scripture, you know, are you going to want to be athletic, you intellectual?
Are you mixture of both. Like, do you want to be in ministry? Do you
want to be an entrepreneur? But when it comes to their
character, we felt like that was a heavy, heavy
responsibility that we are to train them
and show them what godly character is. Because,
(25:07):
I mean, if you grew up to be an adult and the character's not there,
it's a lot harder to gain it once you're already an adult than to be
trained in it your whole life. And you can figure out, you know,
your education and your jobs and all those things later. But we were like, man,
the character aspect, aspect, that's really what we want to hone in on. And we
really want them to have that, like, ingrained from toddlerhood. You
(25:27):
know, this is why we do what we do. We want to have godly
character. I love it. I so love it so much,
Ashley. It. I, you know, I said it just now, my children
are adults, but every time I start talking to these parents that are in the
thick of it, doing this, the fun work, which is the hard work, it makes
me want to do it again. I'm. Because there's things I would do
(25:49):
differently, but it is such a sweet process. It's difficult.
There's a sacrifice for sure, but it's really fantastic to be
shaping these people. Right. Well, I'm noticing that even the fact that we get
to have our daughter, you know, our oldest is 16 and our
daughter is 3. So it's almost like we completely started over and so now we're
in this place of, oh, man, we get to do this again and get to
(26:11):
cherish it one last time before it's all gone.
And you're right. It really is. I've sat down with a few moms recently that
are just in the toddler, like, really little kid phase. And it
is just, like, so physically demanding. And everything is, like, is anything I'm
doing, you know? And so I'm just like, man,
the fruit. It comes later. But when it does, it's
(26:34):
so sweet. Like, to see my older kids getting up and
reading their Bibles on their own because they want to, or jumping up and
helping because it's in their character to jump up and help.
And all the work for so many years and all the
prayers and all the intentional conversations, we're starting to see glimpses
of it coming to fruition. And, man, is it worth it. So
(26:56):
that would be like, my. My parting thing would
just be like, keep praying, keep having the conversations.
Keep loving them. Keep doing the hard work. That is
exhausting, because it is going to pay off, and you're going to have
wonderful adult kids. Yes. I love
that. I was listening to, actually, it's so
(27:18):
random, but a capital hearing. One of the pastors, and he said,
let me tell you something. It is impossible to make somebody be a Christian. And
I was like, you know, that's true. We can teach our children. We can
demonstrate it. We can. And that's what a lot of what you talked about in
your man years, making me think about, like, what questions
or what can you do to own your faith? Because there's no grandkids
(27:40):
in heaven. Right. It's a personal relationship, and you're just
setting the ground for your children to pick up the mantle and go,
okay. As for me, in my house, I will serve the Lord.
So good. Ashley, this is great. I am
excited. I actually. My kids are older, obviously, but I have grandkids, and
I'm going to pass this on to my children and say, guys, you should consider
(28:01):
this. I really love it. I think it works for your family because you
already were intentional. You already. It wasn't just one year that you
invested. It sounds like their whole life. And. And that is our
heart. We want to do that as parents. Right? We really do. Yeah. And it's
worth it. The investment will always be worth it. Oh, I love it. Well,
we thank you for your time, Ashley. We like to close all of our
(28:23):
interviews by asking our guests. One of.
It's such a hard disclaimer, but the best or a really good
tip that you received as a homeschool parent, what would you. Whether
it's what we talked about or something else. Yes. You know,
I would say that it's okay to find your identity
as a family and to roll with it. You know, if you
(28:45):
guys are super intellectual and you want the
academic side of things to be your main focus, go there. But like,
for us, I was pretty self conscious for a long time because
it felt like academics was like a bonus to our
being intentional aspect. So I would just say have grace for yourselves
and talk with your spouse. Or if it's, if it's just you
(29:07):
homeschooling, ask Jesus, like, what am I supposed to do with
my kids? How are we supposed to have this homeschool journey? What is it supposed
to look like? What are our goals? What's the why? And then functioning within
that and just trusting the Lord that he's leading you and guiding you. Because there's
so many blogs and so many, you know, podcasts and so many things that it
can be so overwhelming with what am I supposed to do? And so finding, like
(29:29):
you mentioned finding that why, why are we doing it? And then
just, you know, funneling your kids through that why.
So, oh, that's a great way to end. I love it. Because you're right,
comparison is the thief of joy. And contentment goes out the
wind away. For me in the beginning I was like, I'm supposed to do all
these things. So, you know, that was a fantastic
(29:50):
tip. Thanks, Ashley, and thank you for being with us. I will post
the link to the Man Year curriculum,
we're going to call it that. Her husband went through that study and then
obviously you can find her and her husband at Reach Church.
So thank you all for being here with us. Yeah, it was an honor to
be with you guys. Thank you so much for
(30:11):
joining us today. The Colorado Homeschool podcast is a
ministry of Christian Home Educators of Colorado. We have been
motivating parents to disciple the next generation by embracing
home discipleship that is Christ centered, parent directed and free from
government control. We invite you to join us in this mission. If you want to
support homeschooling in Colorado, go to CHEC.org
(30:33):
donate in the meantime, share this with your friends and make sure
you subscribe. That really helps us. Thank you.
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