April 7, 2025 • 32 mins
Are you navigating the world of homeschooling and wondering how to provide a delight-led education that fosters deep family connections? In this episode of The Colorado Homeschool Podcast, titled "The Importance of Relationship-First Homeschooling," host Kashia Davis is joined by Janae Daniels, a former teacher and unschooling mom of six. Janae shares her incredible journey from public school teaching to embracing the unschooling philosophy. With her wealth of experience, she explains the difference between peer orientation and parent orientation, shedding light on the profound impact it can have on your child's well-being and family relationships.
Listeners will gain actionable strategies to find the right homeschool community, tailor the educational experience to their children's unique interests, and prioritize deep, meaningful relationships. Janae’s inspiring stories illuminate the unexpected joys and challenges of the homeschooling journey, ensuring that you'll leave the episode feeling informed and encouraged.
Join us on this fascinating exploration into unschooling, find the community that supports your values, and learn how to create a rich, connected family life. Don’t miss out—subscribe to never miss an episode filled with homeschooling wisdom and inspiration!
The Colorado Homeschool podcast is a ministry of Christian Home Educators of Colorado. We have been motivating parents to disciple the next generation by embracing home discipleship that is Christ centered, parent directed, and free from government control. We invite you to join us in this mission. If you’re looking for support, resources, and inspiration on your homeschooling journey, visit CHEC.org. Don’t forget to subscribe to this podcast and share it with anyone who might benefit from the wisdom shared in this episode!
If you want to support homeschooling in Colorado go to CHEC.org/donate. Thank you! Brought to you by ThePodcastUpload.com Empowering Faith Driven Voices.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
The teenage girls were teaching everybody certain line dances. And all these
girls are like, mom, mom, come dance with us. And none of
these girls were ashamed of their moms, which we see. You know, we never see
that in the public school. Never. Yeah, not ever. So here we are, all the
moms, and the girls are sitting next to their moms, like, oh, mom, I love
you so much isn't for so much. And I. That dumbfounded
(00:21):
me. And I was like, this is how it should be. And these girls,
when they have issues, they go to their mom.
Welcome. It's the Colorado Homeschool Podcast.
Interviewing experts, parents, graduates,
all here to help you navigate this incredible journey called
(00:44):
homeschooling. And if you're looking for resources, tips, and help,
go to CHEC.org you'll find what you need. In the meantime,
subscribe, follow along. Well, hello and
welcome. Thanks so much for joining us today. We have a
guest with us today that you guys are going to want to grab your pen
and paper and take some notes. She's got a lot of wisdom to share. We
(01:05):
have Janae Daniels, who is, like many of you,
a new to homeschooling since 2020. She's a mother of
six. Her oldest is 26, and her youngest is nine
currently. But she jumped in kind of mid game. And what
I love about Janae's story is she was a teacher herself,
and I've been following her. She has a podcast herself. We will link
(01:27):
her podcast, but the more that you hear her story, I think you're going to
find some things that you relate to and hopefully you leave this
conversation encouraged. So thank you, Janae, for joining us. Thank you
for being here. And can you just tell us about that, how you
started a little bit about that journey into homeschooling?
Sure. Thank you. And thank you so much, Keja, for having me.
(01:50):
So I honestly never had homeschooling on my
radar ever. As a matter of fact, the homeschoolers that I knew
growing up, I knew two families. I thought they were super weird,
which is so, like, looking back, I'm like, oh, my goodness.
But it wasn't so. My oldest two, my kids were always in
public school, and I had been a teacher. And so I, you know,
(02:13):
I. It wasn't on my radar to homeschool. So my oldest two went through public
school. My other kids were all in public school. And then
Covid hit and. And the funny thing
is, is during. During COVID I felt like the
teachers were doing their best to do this stuff online, and I
loved my kids Teachers and we. We had, for the most part, a good
(02:36):
experience in the school system. But
during. During the pandemic, they would.
At that last semester, when it very first started, they finished out the school
year, and I noticed, like, oh, wow, not much
learning is happening. The poor teachers had kids, you know, running behind them as
they're trying to figure things out, and they. I felt like they did a. At
(02:58):
the same time, you know, learning wasn't really happening,
except which the data has shown. Right. The kids basically lost
a year. Right, Right. Except we
started reading a lot. That's when I really started reading aloud with my kids. We
started listening to audiobooks and cooking together and going to the
park and playing and
(03:20):
hiking, and I loved it. I actually had a
really great time not having so many things on my schedule. But
then summer came, and I ran into my
kids, my middle school kids, principal and my two
middle. My oldest two kids had graduated. And then I had
two that were in middle school, approaching high school, and then one in
(03:41):
elementary, one in preschool. And
I ran into the kids, principal at the store, and I. I
was like, what's. What's going. I was very involved in the schools, so I
was like, what's. What's going on in the fall? Like, school's supposed to start in,
like, a month, and I haven't heard anything from the district or you or anybody
else. And he's like, I don't know. I don't know. And so I'm like, okay.
(04:03):
And I just kind of filed that in the back of my brain. And then
about a week, maybe two weeks goes by, and I'm sitting at
church, and I had this very distinct impression you are
to homeschool the kids. Nice. Okay. And I was like.
And I kind of chuckled. I'm like, so about
that Hard. No. But then the thought came very
(04:25):
distinctly again, and I believe that it was the Holy
Spirit that the thought came again. It's
taken a pandemic. I want you to homeschool the kids.
And I was like, oh. So I went home,
and I couldn't get the thought out of my head. Like,
it just stayed there. And I went to my husband, and I was like, what
(04:48):
would you think if I. If I homeschooled the kids? And he. He
said, yeah, I think it sounds great. I always thought it could be kind of
cool to have you homeschool, but I, you know, I didn't want to push you.
And then I called everyone I knew who homeschooled, like, all three
people, and they're like, we, we love homeschooling,
and it's been so great. And, and at that moment, I'm like,
(05:09):
I, I need a homeschool. Like, and the thought wouldn't go away. So the next
day I did the. Research, was telling you it's time. He was like, and I'm
going forward. So we did the
research. I did the research the next day, submitted my notice of
intent on the following Tuesday. And I was scared
to death, honestly. Like, even though I was a teacher, I didn't teach math, I
(05:31):
didn't teach science, I was a theater teacher, I was an elective teacher. People
wanted to come to my class. But fast forward
three weeks and we started homeschooling. And the first day was
terrible. I mean, it could not have gone worse.
Which kind of led to. By 10am it was
a mutiny. I had bought all these curriculums, I had planned everything.
(05:55):
It was going to be amazing. And I'm
like, children, I am going to impart all of these wonderful things
to you. And it was awful.
10am, the kids are crying. And then the piano tuner came, and I had
forgotten that he was coming, and so I let him in. He starts tuning the
piano, and one by one the kids go upstairs until I'm by myself, I'm crying,
(06:18):
the kids were crying. I go upstairs and they're
totally and completely enthralled
with everything that the piano tuner is telling them. I mean, he's talking to them
about sound waves and how strings work and music and he's
playing for them. And my daughter has this phone. It's not a smartphone, it's just
a regular phone. And it's filming him. And they're like, this is the most
(06:40):
amazing thing. And that, that was the moment that I was like, oh, I should
probably rethink what I'm doing and maybe I shouldn't do curriculum. And.
And then I learned about deschooling. And. And here we are. So, yeah, I love
that. So I should have put this in, in the introduction. So Janae
defines herself as an unschooler. And we were
talking about this a little bit before we started. That term
(07:01):
is not does not mean. How did you say it?
So not. Not to keep your kids home and not educate them, but it's
more delight led learning. And so it's a different methodology that
homeschooling allows you to have. So I love that story. I heard you share
that story because we met at a training event
(07:22):
for homeschooling. It was like an information event where they had training for Families
that were considering or actually just doing homeschooling. And she was on the
panel and just her energy, your excitement,
I loved it. So thank you. Yeah. So from an unschooling
perspective and just that mindset shift. Oh,
it's a big, big leap. And it's funny because I talk to
(07:44):
teachers all the time and it seems like the teachers are the
ones who have the hardest time with homeschooling because
schooling, homeschooling is not doing school at home. Yeah, that's what I,
that's what I learned the hard way. And so over the course of the year,
as I was trying to figure things out, I started. My
kids naturally started spending more, more and more time. Like my son, my.
(08:06):
At the time was 13 and he started playing the guitar and my daughter
started. She would get really bored. I mean, we would do the basics, reading, writing
and math. And she'd get really bored and started reading all these World War
II books and, and I didn't know anything about unschooling
at the time. I was reading about all these different philosophies, but I
hadn't come upon unschooling. But naturally that's kind of where we
(08:28):
ended up. And then at the end, I remember in
particular, it was like April
of this, that, that first year and my daughter came down and she's,
I mean, she's sobbing and I'm like, what's the matter? She's like,
Anne Frank was a real person and she had been reading
about World War II and she had been watching documentaries and she's like. And I'm
(08:50):
really nervous because I'm worried because I'm seeing things happen
now that happened during World War II. And so she's starting to make these connections
and she's, she's 12. And I'm like, what? That's beautiful. I
love that. Yeah. And then, and then I happened upon
unschooling and a book about unschooling. And here we are. No, I
love it. So when I invited you to come on, and I love the unschooling
(09:12):
model and I feel like maybe at some point we should have you back on
and just let's focus on that and, and how that works
because I think that raises a lot of questions. But I just think it's important
to, to clarify what you said. It's not. Not schooling. It
is delight led learning. It's being intentional with seeking
out those things that your family loves that's going to inspire them.
(09:33):
And I love it. And then, and then providing the resources for
them to learn whatever the thing is that they're. They're trying to learn.
Yeah. It's not a bunch of wild children hanging from a tree, not doing
anything. It's what I. I almost hate that
we've got to move on because we've got a different topic. But so I
want to talk about community, because in my mind, when you first
(09:55):
begin to homeschool, and it sounds like you felt like the Lord told
you to do it, so that is a big vision for it, and maybe you
had to restructure your. What you wanted out of homeschooling and what education
really looked like. So I think if you start with that, writing out what your
vision is and what your goals are and why you're doing this, then
the next thing that I always encourage people to do is find
(10:17):
your people, find community. So how does that play? How did that play a
role, especially as an unschooler? Because it
raises a lot of eyebrows or people make broad assumptions.
Right. That was tough. That
was really, really tough. Like, my kids still had their public school
friends, and they still do have their public school friends that they still hang out
(10:40):
with sometimes. But that first year
was pretty lonely as I was trying to learn the different
methodologies and connect with different groups. And
I would go on Facebook, and I remember this one time somebody
posted, hey, my daughter, we're new here, and my daughter is having a birthday
party. Could any of your kids come? And
(11:02):
so my daughter and I went, and my daughter just very
quickly was like, these are not our people, you know, and that. And
like, delightful people, but very, like, didn't click. The moms
were nice, but I'm like, oh, these are not my people. But I felt like
a lot of it was trial and error and. And being
intentional about meeting people and getting out
(11:23):
of our comfort zone. The. And
so we. I tried different enrichment programs for my kids. That's where
my daughter's core group of friends came. And so it's
interesting because I don't, like. Each of my kids
have different communities, and I have
friends that I've met. There's a couple unschooling moms that I've really connected
(11:45):
with that don't necessarily live here
in my state. And how did you find them? Did you find that
community online? Is it through your podcast or.
I found them online. That was. The funny thing is
somebody had posted something on some Facebook group, and I responded,
and suddenly we had a connection and a
(12:07):
friendship. Another friend of mine, her husband
posted on a Colorado Springs Facebook page and said, hey,
I'm looking for a real estate agent. We're unschoolers,
and we want to move to Colorado Springs. And so I responded and said,
oh, we're unschoolers. And my husband sells real estate.
And, you know, there's 300 comments, and he's like, you're
(12:30):
my people. The Lord just made that
happen for you. Right, right. And so a lot of it was just like
seeking people out on. On Facebook. But. But I also
have. I do have local friends. They have different
philosophies on education. They're also homeschoolers. And I
do still have public school parent friends. Um, but
(12:52):
I think the key for me was finding the friends for my
kids, like, making sure that they. That they
had their groups that they felt like, that they could
connect with. And so for my daughter, it was through the school
district, for the homeschooling, you
know, program through the school district. For another child, it
(13:14):
was. We had tried a couple different enrichment
programs, and then we found this one enrichment program that's kind
of different, and that's where her little friends
are. And so being mindful of their individual
needs. Right. What is each child and is it hard?
Yes, but it's been very worth it. We had a snow day
(13:36):
in Colorado on Friday, and
our house was completely filled with public school kids
and the homeschool kids and all of the ages. Everybody came to
the house and I loved it. And they
became little friends with each other, you know, even though the different, you know, my
son's friends became friends with my daughter's friends, and
(13:59):
the younger, you know, kids were just everybody.
But that's a perk of homeschooling, too. Right. Because I feel like in the
public school, you don't really see that crossover. Like, the 7 year olds
hang out with the 7 year olds and the 10 year olds with the 10
year olds, and they certainly don't play together because. Right. For heaven's
sake. So, yeah, I love that. That is my.
(14:20):
The biggest myth, I think, is that homeschool kids are not socialized. I think they're
better socialized. Oh, I would say so. That was one thing that. That
surprised me. So my son had made.
I think this is our third year homeschooling. We've been homeschooling four and a half
years. So our third year, his third year homeschooling, he did an
orchestra, and then he also was doing
(14:42):
a play through another group. And then he was. He had his public school
friends and then some friends at church. And when it came time for his birthday
party. He invited all of them. And
there was 40 kids that showed up to my house. Some
were from concurrent enrollment, where he. Because he didn't.
Concurrent enrollment for a while. And so all these kids show up at my
(15:04):
house. And his. Right.
They didn't. They, they. They naturally started to integrate. Except
for his little group of public didn't integrate with
everybody else, even though none of these people knew each other. And so I
told his public school friend, said to me, he's like, Mrs. Daniels. I
didn't know Joshua had so many friends. I thought, I just assumed that he
(15:27):
just didn't have any friends. And I said, oh, no, kiddo. Like, the
world opens up when you homeschool because there's all these
different extra things that we do. So
eventually the public school kids did integrate with the other
kids. And. But it was a testament to
me that our world can expand
(15:49):
if we let it. Like, if we are intentional about
it. Okay, well, all right, I want to pivot a little
because I have listened to several of your episodes on your podcast, which I find
great. And you've talked about this idea
of peer orientation versus parent
orientation. And for somebody who has never heard that, can you give
(16:10):
us a quick snapshot of that and then I'll have a follow up question?
Yeah, you betcha. Okay. So this was one of the very first things that
I learned when we started homeschooling. I didn't
realize that homeschooling world was like a Harry Potter world of magic.
You know, there's all these cool things that nobody knows about.
It's the best kept secret, but the secret's getting out. It is the best. Homeschool
(16:33):
is the best kept secret. Seriously. But one of the things I was introduced to
was the work of Dr. Gordon Neufeld
and Gabor Mate and their book, hold on
to your kids.
And we have this idea in our society
that when teenagers become teenagers, they become
(16:55):
rebellious, they have. They have issues,
they don't want to be with their parents. And that's normal. That's
typical. That's. That's normal. What surprised me
is that Dr. Neufeld is the world's
foremost in attachment psychology. And
his argument is that that's not normal. That
(17:17):
we've accepted it, but. Right, we've accepted it, but. But it's only been the last
four generations that we've seen this happen. And that's when we see the advent of
adolescent anxiety and. Yeah. All these things.
Yeah. And it. And so the idea behind it is that
parents are meant to be what children orbit
around as they go move into adulthood. Eventually they start to
(17:40):
separate and want to gain more
independence. But what's happened is because the
kids are all together in school all the time, they start to
orient around each other, and instead
of learning how
to grow up, because they're orienting around other people who
(18:02):
are the same age, they don't. And so then we
see an increase in depression and
anxiety. They don't know how to deal with problems properly.
And so when I read the book, I was like, oh, my gosh. Because
I did see that with my oldest two kids. I watched that
in teenage years. And Dr. Neufeld's argument is, you
(18:25):
cannot parent a child whose heart you do not have.
And so what I observed is when I brought the kids
home, their peers were important to
them. But what I thought was more important, and that
has maintained even now. My son is turning 18
soon, and he comes home, and he wants to talk to me. He wants to
(18:47):
share with me about his dates, and he wants to tell me
everything. He wants to tell me about all of his friends and what they did.
And the same with my daughter and I. What I observed is, for
the most part, in the homeschooling world, children are appropriately
oriented to their parents. Remember specifically
going to an enrichment. It was like a fall
(19:09):
festival. Enrichment at the enrichment program. And there was hundreds of kids
there, and the teens planned it for the younger kids.
And there was this part where they were doing. They
were doing dancing. Like, the. The girls were. The teenage girls were
teaching everybody certain line dances. And all these girls are like,
mom, mom, come dance with us. And none of these girls were
(19:31):
ashamed of their moms, which we see. We don't never see that in the public
school. Never. Yeah. Not ever. So here we are, all the moms, and the
girls are standing next to their moms, like, oh, mom, I love you so much.
Isn't this so fun? And I. That dumbfounded me. And I
was like, this is how it should be. And these girls, when they
have issues, they go to their moms and they talk to, like, what do I
(19:52):
do about this? I've also observed a lot less
depression amongst homeschooling girls and
kids in general. And I think that's part of the reason is because these. Most
of these kids are oriented to their parents, which blew my mind.
I was like, what? So. Well, that was a little more than a snapshot, and
I feel like we could go deep in that. No, no, it's okay. I mean,
(20:14):
that's the thing about being a Homeschool parent, I think, and why I love
talking about the delight led learning is I'm a
love to learn and that is I think the goal of homeschooling for a lot
of families. So that's fascinating to me. But back to
the context of having community and
groups when you are aware, okay, there is a
(20:35):
problem here that this peer orientation is kind of dominating in a lot of
ways. And I want it to be parent oriented. And
I think that there's so much validity in that, especially when you start
talking about social media, etc. So we can go down that. But community
still is important. So how did you balance finding the right community
that wasn't going to undermine the work that you were doing to have
(20:58):
your children be more parent oriented? I've heard you talk about this more than once.
So that's why I was like, yeah, let's talk about that. Well, I
think part of it is because my kids became
more and more parent oriented as we started like looking for friends
and friend groups. I was keenly
aware of when friends were not parent oriented.
(21:20):
Like I saw it in the public school system. I know what that looks like.
And so with my kids,
with the enrichment programs, I wanted to find
programs where these, where the kids were still
oriented to their parents. And even though my
daughter has a couple friends that are a little bit more peer oriented,
(21:42):
it's still not as. It is not the majority. Yeah,
no, it's a couple here and there. And so
that was something that I looked for is like, okay, I want to see the
relationship of the parents with the kids and how do they
interact with each other. Do you have any practical tips on how you did
that? I mean, how did. I mean, like, were you
(22:03):
discussing this openly with your kids as you're picking them, or was this behind the
scenes where you were just doing it and trying to put them in different groups
based on what you observed? Oh, no, My kids will say, because we've talked about
parent versus peer orientation a million times. And so my kids would say, oh,
that mom, this person is very peer
oriented and she always talks very badly about her
(22:26):
mom. And I don't like that. That bothers me. And I'm so,
you know, we'll talk about it. I think that's one thing with
a having a parent oriented relationship. We speak very
frankly about things. And so with my teenagers, they
started like, they, they started discerning
themselves like, oh, this, it's not acceptable to
(22:48):
speak ill of your family. It's not. It's not acceptable to Be mean about
your mom. And because they've adopted that ideology
when they're with their friends, if they hear their friends saying
something ill, they'll say something or they'll stop hanging out
with them. That's something that I don't have to do anymore. Because we've talked
(23:08):
so openly about it, they've become very aware of it. What about your younger kids?
I mean, how did you. Because I see that with a teenager, like there is
this like owning a lot of that with their relationships and
empowering them. But for the younger kids, it's just so natural
for them to be like, oh, little Susie has a pink dress, I want a
pink dress, or whatever. Right. I think to some degree,
(23:29):
but, but still I even watch with my, like my 9 year old and
she still cares mostly about what my husband and I think and what her
older siblings think over what kids
that's at her enrichment program thinks. And so, or
what her little friends will think or, you know, her friends will, you know, if
we've had a friend over and she said something unkind, my daughter came to
(23:51):
me and said, this is what happened. And I think, but
again, we still talk about that. It's important that we come to mom and
it's important that we come to dad and we have a relationship with mom and
dad. But it's also important that I am emotionally
available for my kids when they need
me and not be stuck on my devices, not
(24:11):
be unavailable for them when they
most need me. And so for my younger kids,
they just naturally see with, especially with the older kids
now, like they just mimic what they're seeing.
Yeah, that's good. I feel
like. Would you say that your journey to homeschooling changed
(24:32):
that relationship with your kids? Like, would you have even been aware of the peer
orientation versus parent orientation? So it totally rescued that
relationship then? Oh, oh yeah. I fully believe that
had I left them in the system
that they would have become pure oriented. Like
I, I, I dealt with it with my older
(24:55):
kids and then granted, I have a fine relationship with my older kids,
but I dealt with it with my older kids and
now I, I watch how I
don't compete with their friends. I don't, they,
and, and their friends, their friends don't compete with
their, you know, with, I don't know how to say this.
(25:18):
Like their friends are parent oriented and so
the relationships are nice and healthy and when there are problems, we're able to talk
through it. But, but I fully believe that had
I left them in the system, I would have Seen the same
thing with my kids that I saw with my oldest, too. Yeah. And you're
right. It has become the norm. It's become the, like, this
(25:40):
narrative that when teenagers hit a certain age, then you're going to
lose. It doesn't have to be that way. I agree
with you. I've had great relationships with my kids. Now my kids are young
adults and still continue that. But, boy, that was an epiphany
to just kind of think of it in that way. The peer orientation versus
and being intentional with a community that you're seeking and
(26:03):
finding. So do you have an example of.
I want to be mindful of our time. We're trying to keep our episodes short.
But an example of how you
knew, no, this isn't the right fit for us. And you kind of pivoted to
a different community because maybe you. You were not,
you know, it wasn't a good fit. So how do you navigate that? Well,
(26:25):
yeah, we did a lot of trial and error, as I mentioned, and there was
times that I. I'd meet with different groups, and
inevitably politics or religion comes up or personal family
values. And, you know, I'd be talking to the different
groups and just kind of go, oh, well, I don't think we're on the
same page on a lot of things, you know, like, not that I'm
(26:47):
always with people who always agree with me, because that's not the case. And
even my son hangs out with kids that are different affiliations
or atheist or they're. There's kids that are on the
left and on the right, and they have great intellectual debates and discussions.
But. But as I. As I watch, like, what are
the other family's values? I tend to be.
(27:09):
I was drawn to people who had similar family values. We
have. And so when I found some of the groups, I'm like, oh,
we don't see eye to eye on some big.
Some big things. Not that they're not nice, but. And like you said,
in finding the right community, it's not the same as just having
discourse. That's healthy. But finding your community.
(27:31):
Yeah, yeah. Finding your tribe and your people and. And I. And
part of it was just like, do we see eye to eye? And is it
easy or is it kind of like dating when you're like, oh, this is really
a hard date? Well, it's probably not the right person for you. You know what
I mean? Yeah, yeah. And I love that you keep saying trial and
error. It is. As a homeschool family, I think that you need to
(27:51):
embrace that you're also a student. You've got to be a student of your student
to understand how to help them. And you also have to be willing to be
flexible and adapt. And, you know, if you're beating your head up against the wall
repeatedly, maybe wonder if there is a,
you know, so, so let's make our last
question just to kind of circle back to the fact that you are an unschooling
(28:13):
family, which, you know, has so
many vast opportunities. How does that work to find
community that fits? Because usually these enrichment programs are much more structured
if you're going to join a co op. So how does that work? Is it
just that you. Yeah, you tell me. How does that work for you?
Well, I mean, obviously in all the different co ops that my kids go to,
(28:34):
because they all go to different co ops,
some people like unschooling and some
people don't. And we just don't discuss the philosophies. We talk
about other things. And I think, I think just the key
is finding common ground and building relationship based
on common ground. I do have other unschooling friends
(28:55):
and, you know, again, it's a matter
of like finding the values that align with your family
and also finding common ground when you do come from different,
different educational philosophies. And it's fine, you know, we all learn from each
other. Yeah, finding the common ground, you're right. And so you're picking your groups
too, based on your child's interest. Right. Like you have a group that
(29:18):
is more. What are some examples of some of the things that you've done
and how you selected them? It happened to be an arts
program and my daughter was like, oh my gosh, loves art. Love this.
I love art and I love theater. And I didn't realize it. And so
she does an art. I have a child that loves being outdoors and so she
goes to a forest school. My,
(29:41):
my 12 year old loves, loves engineering.
And so it just naturally, I was like, okay, let's find a program that
fits that. His personality style, you're kind of saying.
I mean, even though it's in the framework of you being an
unschooling family, it is exactly why I love homeschooling is it's so
custom. I call homeschooling the original
(30:03):
individualized education plan, the iep. Right.
Because you can totally tailor it and customize it. And now
granted, some families might be like, well, I could never do that. But that's the
beautiful thing about homeschooling is they can do what suits them
Right. That's right. Yeah. Well, I feel like we
just tipped the iceberg. I'm going to link your podcast so people can find
(30:24):
you. It's called From School to School to
Homeschool. School to Homeschool, which I love it. It's your
journey. I think a lot of families will relate to that. I really love
your original. I went back to when you first started and you're telling your
story, and I heard you tell the story in your podcast about the
piano tuner, and I really love that. Like, I was trying to do
(30:46):
school at home and trying to fit this in this, like, box, and
we were all stressed out and crying every day, and, yeah, it was
terrible. And so I really love that authenticness
of the way that you tell your story and how you ended up where you
are and just hearing how your children are thriving now. I really
love it. So, Janae, I think it was a treat. I hope that our
(31:07):
listeners were blessed and encouraged. And if you
haven't found the right community, what would you say to those families if they
still haven't found it? Like, be intentional and don't give up. Just keep
trying because you will find it. You just bet. You have to. Look, it's Easter
egg hunting as opposed. To, you know,
it's Easter egg hunting. I love it. Okay, so our final question that
(31:30):
we're trying to ask all our homeschool guests is, what would you say is
one. And this is such a hard question, honestly. But the best
tip that you received as a homeschool parent related to
this topic or not, what would you say that would be? Or a good. It
doesn't have to be the best. It's such a hard qualifier. Put relationship first,
period. Oh, and that fits with what we were talking about, too.
(31:51):
The relationship with the kids comes first, above
anything else ever. So that's. It
does. Oh, that's a very good way to end. So thank you so
much. I really appreciate your time today. And, guys, check her
out. And thanks for being here today. Hey, thanks so much for
having me. Thank you so much for joining us
(32:13):
today. The Colorado Homeschool Podcast is a ministry of Christian
Home Educators of Colorado. We have been motivating parents to
disciple the next generation by embracing home discipleship
that is Christ centered, parent directed, and free from government control.
We invite you to join us in this mission. If you want to support homeschooling
in Colorado, go to CHEC.org donate in
(32:35):
the meantime, share this with your friends and make sure you subscribe. That really
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Brought to you by the podcast upload.com empowering
faith driven voices.
The teenage girls were teaching everybody certain line dances. And all these
girls are like, mom, mom, come dance with us. And none of
these girls were ashamed of their moms, which we see. You know, we never see
that in the public school. Never. Yeah, not ever. So here we are, all the
moms, and the girls are sitting next to their moms, like, oh, mom, I love
you so much isn't for so much. And I. That dumbfounded
(00:21):
me. And I was like, this is how it should be. And these girls,
when they have issues, they go to their mom.
Welcome. It's the Colorado Homeschool Podcast.
Interviewing experts, parents, graduates,
all here to help you navigate this incredible journey called
(00:44):
homeschooling. And if you're looking for resources, tips, and help,
go to CHEC.org you'll find what you need. In the meantime,
subscribe, follow along. Well, hello and
welcome. Thanks so much for joining us today. We have a
guest with us today that you guys are going to want to grab your pen
and paper and take some notes. She's got a lot of wisdom to share. We
(01:05):
have Janae Daniels, who is, like many of you,
a new to homeschooling since 2020. She's a mother of
six. Her oldest is 26, and her youngest is nine
currently. But she jumped in kind of mid game. And what
I love about Janae's story is she was a teacher herself,
and I've been following her. She has a podcast herself. We will link
(01:27):
her podcast, but the more that you hear her story, I think you're going to
find some things that you relate to and hopefully you leave this
conversation encouraged. So thank you, Janae, for joining us. Thank you
for being here. And can you just tell us about that, how you
started a little bit about that journey into homeschooling?
Sure. Thank you. And thank you so much, Keja, for having me.
(01:50):
So I honestly never had homeschooling on my
radar ever. As a matter of fact, the homeschoolers that I knew
growing up, I knew two families. I thought they were super weird,
which is so, like, looking back, I'm like, oh, my goodness.
But it wasn't so. My oldest two, my kids were always in
public school, and I had been a teacher. And so I, you know,
(02:13):
I. It wasn't on my radar to homeschool. So my oldest two went through public
school. My other kids were all in public school. And then
Covid hit and. And the funny thing
is, is during. During COVID I felt like the
teachers were doing their best to do this stuff online, and I
loved my kids Teachers and we. We had, for the most part, a good
(02:36):
experience in the school system. But
during. During the pandemic, they would.
At that last semester, when it very first started, they finished out the school
year, and I noticed, like, oh, wow, not much
learning is happening. The poor teachers had kids, you know, running behind them as
they're trying to figure things out, and they. I felt like they did a. At
(02:58):
the same time, you know, learning wasn't really happening,
except which the data has shown. Right. The kids basically lost
a year. Right, Right. Except we
started reading a lot. That's when I really started reading aloud with my kids. We
started listening to audiobooks and cooking together and going to the
park and playing and
(03:20):
hiking, and I loved it. I actually had a
really great time not having so many things on my schedule. But
then summer came, and I ran into my
kids, my middle school kids, principal and my two
middle. My oldest two kids had graduated. And then I had
two that were in middle school, approaching high school, and then one in
(03:41):
elementary, one in preschool. And
I ran into the kids, principal at the store, and I. I
was like, what's. What's going. I was very involved in the schools, so I
was like, what's. What's going on in the fall? Like, school's supposed to start in,
like, a month, and I haven't heard anything from the district or you or anybody
else. And he's like, I don't know. I don't know. And so I'm like, okay.
(04:03):
And I just kind of filed that in the back of my brain. And then
about a week, maybe two weeks goes by, and I'm sitting at
church, and I had this very distinct impression you are
to homeschool the kids. Nice. Okay. And I was like.
And I kind of chuckled. I'm like, so about
that Hard. No. But then the thought came very
(04:25):
distinctly again, and I believe that it was the Holy
Spirit that the thought came again. It's
taken a pandemic. I want you to homeschool the kids.
And I was like, oh. So I went home,
and I couldn't get the thought out of my head. Like,
it just stayed there. And I went to my husband, and I was like, what
(04:48):
would you think if I. If I homeschooled the kids? And he. He
said, yeah, I think it sounds great. I always thought it could be kind of
cool to have you homeschool, but I, you know, I didn't want to push you.
And then I called everyone I knew who homeschooled, like, all three
people, and they're like, we, we love homeschooling,
and it's been so great. And, and at that moment, I'm like,
(05:09):
I, I need a homeschool. Like, and the thought wouldn't go away. So the next
day I did the. Research, was telling you it's time. He was like, and I'm
going forward. So we did the
research. I did the research the next day, submitted my notice of
intent on the following Tuesday. And I was scared
to death, honestly. Like, even though I was a teacher, I didn't teach math, I
(05:31):
didn't teach science, I was a theater teacher, I was an elective teacher. People
wanted to come to my class. But fast forward
three weeks and we started homeschooling. And the first day was
terrible. I mean, it could not have gone worse.
Which kind of led to. By 10am it was
a mutiny. I had bought all these curriculums, I had planned everything.
(05:55):
It was going to be amazing. And I'm
like, children, I am going to impart all of these wonderful things
to you. And it was awful.
10am, the kids are crying. And then the piano tuner came, and I had
forgotten that he was coming, and so I let him in. He starts tuning the
piano, and one by one the kids go upstairs until I'm by myself, I'm crying,
(06:18):
the kids were crying. I go upstairs and they're
totally and completely enthralled
with everything that the piano tuner is telling them. I mean, he's talking to them
about sound waves and how strings work and music and he's
playing for them. And my daughter has this phone. It's not a smartphone, it's just
a regular phone. And it's filming him. And they're like, this is the most
(06:40):
amazing thing. And that, that was the moment that I was like, oh, I should
probably rethink what I'm doing and maybe I shouldn't do curriculum. And.
And then I learned about deschooling. And. And here we are. So, yeah, I love
that. So I should have put this in, in the introduction. So Janae
defines herself as an unschooler. And we were
talking about this a little bit before we started. That term
(07:01):
is not does not mean. How did you say it?
So not. Not to keep your kids home and not educate them, but it's
more delight led learning. And so it's a different methodology that
homeschooling allows you to have. So I love that story. I heard you share
that story because we met at a training event
(07:22):
for homeschooling. It was like an information event where they had training for Families
that were considering or actually just doing homeschooling. And she was on the
panel and just her energy, your excitement,
I loved it. So thank you. Yeah. So from an unschooling
perspective and just that mindset shift. Oh,
it's a big, big leap. And it's funny because I talk to
(07:44):
teachers all the time and it seems like the teachers are the
ones who have the hardest time with homeschooling because
schooling, homeschooling is not doing school at home. Yeah, that's what I,
that's what I learned the hard way. And so over the course of the year,
as I was trying to figure things out, I started. My
kids naturally started spending more, more and more time. Like my son, my.
(08:06):
At the time was 13 and he started playing the guitar and my daughter
started. She would get really bored. I mean, we would do the basics, reading, writing
and math. And she'd get really bored and started reading all these World War
II books and, and I didn't know anything about unschooling
at the time. I was reading about all these different philosophies, but I
hadn't come upon unschooling. But naturally that's kind of where we
(08:28):
ended up. And then at the end, I remember in
particular, it was like April
of this, that, that first year and my daughter came down and she's,
I mean, she's sobbing and I'm like, what's the matter? She's like,
Anne Frank was a real person and she had been reading
about World War II and she had been watching documentaries and she's like. And I'm
(08:50):
really nervous because I'm worried because I'm seeing things happen
now that happened during World War II. And so she's starting to make these connections
and she's, she's 12. And I'm like, what? That's beautiful. I
love that. Yeah. And then, and then I happened upon
unschooling and a book about unschooling. And here we are. No, I
love it. So when I invited you to come on, and I love the unschooling
(09:12):
model and I feel like maybe at some point we should have you back on
and just let's focus on that and, and how that works
because I think that raises a lot of questions. But I just think it's important
to, to clarify what you said. It's not. Not schooling. It
is delight led learning. It's being intentional with seeking
out those things that your family loves that's going to inspire them.
(09:33):
And I love it. And then, and then providing the resources for
them to learn whatever the thing is that they're. They're trying to learn.
Yeah. It's not a bunch of wild children hanging from a tree, not doing
anything. It's what I. I almost hate that
we've got to move on because we've got a different topic. But so I
want to talk about community, because in my mind, when you first
(09:55):
begin to homeschool, and it sounds like you felt like the Lord told
you to do it, so that is a big vision for it, and maybe you
had to restructure your. What you wanted out of homeschooling and what education
really looked like. So I think if you start with that, writing out what your
vision is and what your goals are and why you're doing this, then
the next thing that I always encourage people to do is find
(10:17):
your people, find community. So how does that play? How did that play a
role, especially as an unschooler? Because it
raises a lot of eyebrows or people make broad assumptions.
Right. That was tough. That
was really, really tough. Like, my kids still had their public school
friends, and they still do have their public school friends that they still hang out
(10:40):
with sometimes. But that first year
was pretty lonely as I was trying to learn the different
methodologies and connect with different groups. And
I would go on Facebook, and I remember this one time somebody
posted, hey, my daughter, we're new here, and my daughter is having a birthday
party. Could any of your kids come? And
(11:02):
so my daughter and I went, and my daughter just very
quickly was like, these are not our people, you know, and that. And
like, delightful people, but very, like, didn't click. The moms
were nice, but I'm like, oh, these are not my people. But I felt like
a lot of it was trial and error and. And being
intentional about meeting people and getting out
(11:23):
of our comfort zone. The. And
so we. I tried different enrichment programs for my kids. That's where
my daughter's core group of friends came. And so it's
interesting because I don't, like. Each of my kids
have different communities, and I have
friends that I've met. There's a couple unschooling moms that I've really connected
(11:45):
with that don't necessarily live here
in my state. And how did you find them? Did you find that
community online? Is it through your podcast or.
I found them online. That was. The funny thing is
somebody had posted something on some Facebook group, and I responded,
and suddenly we had a connection and a
(12:07):
friendship. Another friend of mine, her husband
posted on a Colorado Springs Facebook page and said, hey,
I'm looking for a real estate agent. We're unschoolers,
and we want to move to Colorado Springs. And so I responded and said,
oh, we're unschoolers. And my husband sells real estate.
And, you know, there's 300 comments, and he's like, you're
(12:30):
my people. The Lord just made that
happen for you. Right, right. And so a lot of it was just like
seeking people out on. On Facebook. But. But I also
have. I do have local friends. They have different
philosophies on education. They're also homeschoolers. And I
do still have public school parent friends. Um, but
(12:52):
I think the key for me was finding the friends for my
kids, like, making sure that they. That they
had their groups that they felt like, that they could
connect with. And so for my daughter, it was through the school
district, for the homeschooling, you
know, program through the school district. For another child, it
(13:14):
was. We had tried a couple different enrichment
programs, and then we found this one enrichment program that's kind
of different, and that's where her little friends
are. And so being mindful of their individual
needs. Right. What is each child and is it hard?
Yes, but it's been very worth it. We had a snow day
(13:36):
in Colorado on Friday, and
our house was completely filled with public school kids
and the homeschool kids and all of the ages. Everybody came to
the house and I loved it. And they
became little friends with each other, you know, even though the different, you know, my
son's friends became friends with my daughter's friends, and
(13:59):
the younger, you know, kids were just everybody.
But that's a perk of homeschooling, too. Right. Because I feel like in the
public school, you don't really see that crossover. Like, the 7 year olds
hang out with the 7 year olds and the 10 year olds with the 10
year olds, and they certainly don't play together because. Right. For heaven's
sake. So, yeah, I love that. That is my.
(14:20):
The biggest myth, I think, is that homeschool kids are not socialized. I think they're
better socialized. Oh, I would say so. That was one thing that. That
surprised me. So my son had made.
I think this is our third year homeschooling. We've been homeschooling four and a half
years. So our third year, his third year homeschooling, he did an
orchestra, and then he also was doing
(14:42):
a play through another group. And then he was. He had his public school
friends and then some friends at church. And when it came time for his birthday
party. He invited all of them. And
there was 40 kids that showed up to my house. Some
were from concurrent enrollment, where he. Because he didn't.
Concurrent enrollment for a while. And so all these kids show up at my
(15:04):
house. And his. Right.
They didn't. They, they. They naturally started to integrate. Except
for his little group of public didn't integrate with
everybody else, even though none of these people knew each other. And so I
told his public school friend, said to me, he's like, Mrs. Daniels. I
didn't know Joshua had so many friends. I thought, I just assumed that he
(15:27):
just didn't have any friends. And I said, oh, no, kiddo. Like, the
world opens up when you homeschool because there's all these
different extra things that we do. So
eventually the public school kids did integrate with the other
kids. And. But it was a testament to
me that our world can expand
(15:49):
if we let it. Like, if we are intentional about
it. Okay, well, all right, I want to pivot a little
because I have listened to several of your episodes on your podcast, which I find
great. And you've talked about this idea
of peer orientation versus parent
orientation. And for somebody who has never heard that, can you give
(16:10):
us a quick snapshot of that and then I'll have a follow up question?
Yeah, you betcha. Okay. So this was one of the very first things that
I learned when we started homeschooling. I didn't
realize that homeschooling world was like a Harry Potter world of magic.
You know, there's all these cool things that nobody knows about.
It's the best kept secret, but the secret's getting out. It is the best. Homeschool
(16:33):
is the best kept secret. Seriously. But one of the things I was introduced to
was the work of Dr. Gordon Neufeld
and Gabor Mate and their book, hold on
to your kids.
And we have this idea in our society
that when teenagers become teenagers, they become
(16:55):
rebellious, they have. They have issues,
they don't want to be with their parents. And that's normal. That's
typical. That's. That's normal. What surprised me
is that Dr. Neufeld is the world's
foremost in attachment psychology. And
his argument is that that's not normal. That
(17:17):
we've accepted it, but. Right, we've accepted it, but. But it's only been the last
four generations that we've seen this happen. And that's when we see the advent of
adolescent anxiety and. Yeah. All these things.
Yeah. And it. And so the idea behind it is that
parents are meant to be what children orbit
around as they go move into adulthood. Eventually they start to
(17:40):
separate and want to gain more
independence. But what's happened is because the
kids are all together in school all the time, they start to
orient around each other, and instead
of learning how
to grow up, because they're orienting around other people who
(18:02):
are the same age, they don't. And so then we
see an increase in depression and
anxiety. They don't know how to deal with problems properly.
And so when I read the book, I was like, oh, my gosh. Because
I did see that with my oldest two kids. I watched that
in teenage years. And Dr. Neufeld's argument is, you
(18:25):
cannot parent a child whose heart you do not have.
And so what I observed is when I brought the kids
home, their peers were important to
them. But what I thought was more important, and that
has maintained even now. My son is turning 18
soon, and he comes home, and he wants to talk to me. He wants to
(18:47):
share with me about his dates, and he wants to tell me
everything. He wants to tell me about all of his friends and what they did.
And the same with my daughter and I. What I observed is, for
the most part, in the homeschooling world, children are appropriately
oriented to their parents. Remember specifically
going to an enrichment. It was like a fall
(19:09):
festival. Enrichment at the enrichment program. And there was hundreds of kids
there, and the teens planned it for the younger kids.
And there was this part where they were doing. They
were doing dancing. Like, the. The girls were. The teenage girls were
teaching everybody certain line dances. And all these girls are like,
mom, mom, come dance with us. And none of these girls were
(19:31):
ashamed of their moms, which we see. We don't never see that in the public
school. Never. Yeah. Not ever. So here we are, all the moms, and the
girls are standing next to their moms, like, oh, mom, I love you so much.
Isn't this so fun? And I. That dumbfounded me. And I
was like, this is how it should be. And these girls, when they
have issues, they go to their moms and they talk to, like, what do I
(19:52):
do about this? I've also observed a lot less
depression amongst homeschooling girls and
kids in general. And I think that's part of the reason is because these. Most
of these kids are oriented to their parents, which blew my mind.
I was like, what? So. Well, that was a little more than a snapshot, and
I feel like we could go deep in that. No, no, it's okay. I mean,
(20:14):
that's the thing about being a Homeschool parent, I think, and why I love
talking about the delight led learning is I'm a
love to learn and that is I think the goal of homeschooling for a lot
of families. So that's fascinating to me. But back to
the context of having community and
groups when you are aware, okay, there is a
(20:35):
problem here that this peer orientation is kind of dominating in a lot of
ways. And I want it to be parent oriented. And
I think that there's so much validity in that, especially when you start
talking about social media, etc. So we can go down that. But community
still is important. So how did you balance finding the right community
that wasn't going to undermine the work that you were doing to have
(20:58):
your children be more parent oriented? I've heard you talk about this more than once.
So that's why I was like, yeah, let's talk about that. Well, I
think part of it is because my kids became
more and more parent oriented as we started like looking for friends
and friend groups. I was keenly
aware of when friends were not parent oriented.
(21:20):
Like I saw it in the public school system. I know what that looks like.
And so with my kids,
with the enrichment programs, I wanted to find
programs where these, where the kids were still
oriented to their parents. And even though my
daughter has a couple friends that are a little bit more peer oriented,
(21:42):
it's still not as. It is not the majority. Yeah,
no, it's a couple here and there. And so
that was something that I looked for is like, okay, I want to see the
relationship of the parents with the kids and how do they
interact with each other. Do you have any practical tips on how you did
that? I mean, how did. I mean, like, were you
(22:03):
discussing this openly with your kids as you're picking them, or was this behind the
scenes where you were just doing it and trying to put them in different groups
based on what you observed? Oh, no, My kids will say, because we've talked about
parent versus peer orientation a million times. And so my kids would say, oh,
that mom, this person is very peer
oriented and she always talks very badly about her
(22:26):
mom. And I don't like that. That bothers me. And I'm so,
you know, we'll talk about it. I think that's one thing with
a having a parent oriented relationship. We speak very
frankly about things. And so with my teenagers, they
started like, they, they started discerning
themselves like, oh, this, it's not acceptable to
(22:48):
speak ill of your family. It's not. It's not acceptable to Be mean about
your mom. And because they've adopted that ideology
when they're with their friends, if they hear their friends saying
something ill, they'll say something or they'll stop hanging out
with them. That's something that I don't have to do anymore. Because we've talked
(23:08):
so openly about it, they've become very aware of it. What about your younger kids?
I mean, how did you. Because I see that with a teenager, like there is
this like owning a lot of that with their relationships and
empowering them. But for the younger kids, it's just so natural
for them to be like, oh, little Susie has a pink dress, I want a
pink dress, or whatever. Right. I think to some degree,
(23:29):
but, but still I even watch with my, like my 9 year old and
she still cares mostly about what my husband and I think and what her
older siblings think over what kids
that's at her enrichment program thinks. And so, or
what her little friends will think or, you know, her friends will, you know, if
we've had a friend over and she said something unkind, my daughter came to
(23:51):
me and said, this is what happened. And I think, but
again, we still talk about that. It's important that we come to mom and
it's important that we come to dad and we have a relationship with mom and
dad. But it's also important that I am emotionally
available for my kids when they need
me and not be stuck on my devices, not
(24:11):
be unavailable for them when they
most need me. And so for my younger kids,
they just naturally see with, especially with the older kids
now, like they just mimic what they're seeing.
Yeah, that's good. I feel
like. Would you say that your journey to homeschooling changed
(24:32):
that relationship with your kids? Like, would you have even been aware of the peer
orientation versus parent orientation? So it totally rescued that
relationship then? Oh, oh yeah. I fully believe that
had I left them in the system
that they would have become pure oriented. Like
I, I, I dealt with it with my older
(24:55):
kids and then granted, I have a fine relationship with my older kids,
but I dealt with it with my older kids and
now I, I watch how I
don't compete with their friends. I don't, they,
and, and their friends, their friends don't compete with
their, you know, with, I don't know how to say this.
(25:18):
Like their friends are parent oriented and so
the relationships are nice and healthy and when there are problems, we're able to talk
through it. But, but I fully believe that had
I left them in the system, I would have Seen the same
thing with my kids that I saw with my oldest, too. Yeah. And you're
right. It has become the norm. It's become the, like, this
(25:40):
narrative that when teenagers hit a certain age, then you're going to
lose. It doesn't have to be that way. I agree
with you. I've had great relationships with my kids. Now my kids are young
adults and still continue that. But, boy, that was an epiphany
to just kind of think of it in that way. The peer orientation versus
and being intentional with a community that you're seeking and
(26:03):
finding. So do you have an example of.
I want to be mindful of our time. We're trying to keep our episodes short.
But an example of how you
knew, no, this isn't the right fit for us. And you kind of pivoted to
a different community because maybe you. You were not,
you know, it wasn't a good fit. So how do you navigate that? Well,
(26:25):
yeah, we did a lot of trial and error, as I mentioned, and there was
times that I. I'd meet with different groups, and
inevitably politics or religion comes up or personal family
values. And, you know, I'd be talking to the different
groups and just kind of go, oh, well, I don't think we're on the
same page on a lot of things, you know, like, not that I'm
(26:47):
always with people who always agree with me, because that's not the case. And
even my son hangs out with kids that are different affiliations
or atheist or they're. There's kids that are on the
left and on the right, and they have great intellectual debates and discussions.
But. But as I. As I watch, like, what are
the other family's values? I tend to be.
(27:09):
I was drawn to people who had similar family values. We
have. And so when I found some of the groups, I'm like, oh,
we don't see eye to eye on some big.
Some big things. Not that they're not nice, but. And like you said,
in finding the right community, it's not the same as just having
discourse. That's healthy. But finding your community.
(27:31):
Yeah, yeah. Finding your tribe and your people and. And I. And
part of it was just like, do we see eye to eye? And is it
easy or is it kind of like dating when you're like, oh, this is really
a hard date? Well, it's probably not the right person for you. You know what
I mean? Yeah, yeah. And I love that you keep saying trial and
error. It is. As a homeschool family, I think that you need to
(27:51):
embrace that you're also a student. You've got to be a student of your student
to understand how to help them. And you also have to be willing to be
flexible and adapt. And, you know, if you're beating your head up against the wall
repeatedly, maybe wonder if there is a,
you know, so, so let's make our last
question just to kind of circle back to the fact that you are an unschooling
(28:13):
family, which, you know, has so
many vast opportunities. How does that work to find
community that fits? Because usually these enrichment programs are much more structured
if you're going to join a co op. So how does that work? Is it
just that you. Yeah, you tell me. How does that work for you?
Well, I mean, obviously in all the different co ops that my kids go to,
(28:34):
because they all go to different co ops,
some people like unschooling and some
people don't. And we just don't discuss the philosophies. We talk
about other things. And I think, I think just the key
is finding common ground and building relationship based
on common ground. I do have other unschooling friends
(28:55):
and, you know, again, it's a matter
of like finding the values that align with your family
and also finding common ground when you do come from different,
different educational philosophies. And it's fine, you know, we all learn from each
other. Yeah, finding the common ground, you're right. And so you're picking your groups
too, based on your child's interest. Right. Like you have a group that
(29:18):
is more. What are some examples of some of the things that you've done
and how you selected them? It happened to be an arts
program and my daughter was like, oh my gosh, loves art. Love this.
I love art and I love theater. And I didn't realize it. And so
she does an art. I have a child that loves being outdoors and so she
goes to a forest school. My,
(29:41):
my 12 year old loves, loves engineering.
And so it just naturally, I was like, okay, let's find a program that
fits that. His personality style, you're kind of saying.
I mean, even though it's in the framework of you being an
unschooling family, it is exactly why I love homeschooling is it's so
custom. I call homeschooling the original
(30:03):
individualized education plan, the iep. Right.
Because you can totally tailor it and customize it. And now
granted, some families might be like, well, I could never do that. But that's the
beautiful thing about homeschooling is they can do what suits them
Right. That's right. Yeah. Well, I feel like we
just tipped the iceberg. I'm going to link your podcast so people can find
(30:24):
you. It's called From School to School to
Homeschool. School to Homeschool, which I love it. It's your
journey. I think a lot of families will relate to that. I really love
your original. I went back to when you first started and you're telling your
story, and I heard you tell the story in your podcast about the
piano tuner, and I really love that. Like, I was trying to do
(30:46):
school at home and trying to fit this in this, like, box, and
we were all stressed out and crying every day, and, yeah, it was
terrible. And so I really love that authenticness
of the way that you tell your story and how you ended up where you
are and just hearing how your children are thriving now. I really
love it. So, Janae, I think it was a treat. I hope that our
(31:07):
listeners were blessed and encouraged. And if you
haven't found the right community, what would you say to those families if they
still haven't found it? Like, be intentional and don't give up. Just keep
trying because you will find it. You just bet. You have to. Look, it's Easter
egg hunting as opposed. To, you know,
it's Easter egg hunting. I love it. Okay, so our final question that
(31:30):
we're trying to ask all our homeschool guests is, what would you say is
one. And this is such a hard question, honestly. But the best
tip that you received as a homeschool parent related to
this topic or not, what would you say that would be? Or a good. It
doesn't have to be the best. It's such a hard qualifier. Put relationship first,
period. Oh, and that fits with what we were talking about, too.
(31:51):
The relationship with the kids comes first, above
anything else ever. So that's. It
does. Oh, that's a very good way to end. So thank you so
much. I really appreciate your time today. And, guys, check her
out. And thanks for being here today. Hey, thanks so much for
having me. Thank you so much for joining us
(32:13):
today. The Colorado Homeschool Podcast is a ministry of Christian
Home Educators of Colorado. We have been motivating parents to
disciple the next generation by embracing home discipleship
that is Christ centered, parent directed, and free from government control.
We invite you to join us in this mission. If you want to support homeschooling
in Colorado, go to CHEC.org donate in
(32:35):
the meantime, share this with your friends and make sure you subscribe. That really
helps us. Thank you.
Brought to you by the podcast upload.com empowering
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