The Daily Fckcabulary: 60 Seconds of Therapeutic Sarcasm
Profanity. Purpose. Profit. Daily.
Episodes
Alright, check this out. It's December 31st, 11:59 PM. You're supposed to be celebrating.
Popping champagne. Making resolutions. But what are you really doing?
You're scrolling through your ex's Instagram, wondering where your tax return went, and realizing you're the exact same broken person you were 364 days ago—just older and broker. Your resolutions?
That was just a to-do list for your therapist. That's not a celebration. That...
"Alright, check this out. You ever notice 'holiday' is just 'holy' with a day attached?
That's cute. But let me tell you what it REALLY is: It's that mandatory event where you go broke buying presents for relatives who think you're going to hell, travel 600 miles to eat turkey that tastes like a carpet, and perform happiness while your uncle explains how the moon landing was faked.
That's not a celebration. That's a fuckoliday. An...
"Listen to me. You got this fat dude in a red suit. Breaks into your house. Eats your cookies. Judges your kids. Runs a sweatshop of midgets working for free.
We spend $400 to lie to our children about this trespasser and call it 'magic.' That's not Christmas spirit.
That's fuckanta. That's parental Stockholm syndrome with sleigh bells. And you know I'm right.
----more----
I'm Hawsé Sumi—Pittsburgh artist, two-time August Wilso...
"Alright, check this out. You ever go to that relative's house for Christmas? You know the one.
They got that nativity scene set up, right? But it's not right. Baby Jesus is missing—kid probably got kidnapped by the dog.
Mary got a crack in her face that makes her look like she's seen some shit. And the manger? The manger looks like it's been through actual biblical times.
Then your drunk uncle comes through, knocks the whole thing...
"Alright, check this out. They call it 'yuletide'—sounds all fancy and British, like we should be wearing top hats and singing carols. But let me tell you what it REALLY is.
It's that special time between Halloween and New Year's where your credit card just... bursts into flames. Your liver sends you a formal complaint.
Your in-laws show up 'just for the weekend' and they're still there in February, reorganizing your kitchen at 6:4...
"Alright, check this out. You ever bite into one of them candy canes? First bite—CRACK. Now you got a broken tooth.
Second lick—SLICE. Now your tongue's bleeding like you bit a razor blade. And it tastes like your grandma's perfume collection from 1987. But the REAL peppermint?
That's the schnapps. That's the rocket fuel you need when your MAGA uncle is talking about 'the war on Christmas' like he's a Fox News anchor, your vegan c...
"Alright, listen to me. You ever been to that family dinner? I'm talking the one where your MAGA uncle just discovered memes from 2012 and thinks he's Warren Buffett?
Where your vegan cousin is giving the turkey a full Catholic funeral with hymns and everything?
Where your mom is asking why you're still single IN BETWEEN bites of green bean casserole like she's running a life audit and a taste test simultaneously?
You can't survive...
"Alright, listen to me. You ever been in Target? Of course you have. December rolls around, you're just trying to grab a PS5 for your nephew, and that song comes on.
You know the one. Mariah. Carey. 'All I Want for Christmas Is You.' First time? Cute. 47th time? I wanna commit a war crime at the self-checkout.
Meanwhile, Granny Bootsy over here has her cart parked like she's guarding the nuclear football. My phone's at 2%—2%!—and m...
"Alright, check THIS out. Your grandma gives you this ornament, right? Says it's 'priceless.' Says it survived forty years. FORTY. YEARS. It made it through Nixon, made it through wars, made it through your Uncle's second divorce—and probably a tornado. You put it on the tree, you step back, you admire it. You think, 'This is nice.'
Then Mittens—Mittens, who weighs nine pounds soaking wet—comes flying through like he's been shot ou...
PLEASE FOLLOW and leave a comment.
The tinsel that gets everywhere and reproduces in your carpet until July.
As in: "My vacuum coughed up fuckinsel from the Nixon administration.
----more----
I'm Hawsé Sumi—Pittsburgh artist, two-time August Wilson House grant recipient, Paramount+ licensed creator, featured in international galleries and the author of the UnF🍸ckable Book Series.
For 365 days, I'm d...
PLEASE FOLLOW and leave a comment.
It's 11:47 PM at the office holiday party. The fuckletoe is hanging. Terry from accounting smells like mothballs and cheap whiskey.
Sharon from HR is cornering you. And somewhere, a plant is weaponized into a tool for 'mandatory fun.' Let's call this holiday tradition what it is: Fuckletoe
----more----
I'm Hawsé Sumi—Pittsburgh artist, two-time August Wilson House g...
PLEASE FOLLOW & Leave a comment please
Alright now, check this out. It's December 24th, 2:47 AM. You got tape stuck to your elbow, your scissors done vanished like your ex's commitment, and this bike—this goddamn bike—got instructions written in IKEA Swedish.
Your Christmas spirit? It's in that $6 bottle of wine, and that wine is almost empty. You didn't sign up for this. But you here. And we got a word for this special kind of...
"It's 4:47 PM. You're in therapy, finally feeling like you might be okay. Your phone buzzes. It's your landlord: 'Rent's due.' Your ex just liked a photo from 2019. Your mom is calling. You haven't eaten since yesterday. The universe is playing its favorite game: 'Let's see if they break.' Let's call this perfectly timed chaos what it is: Fuckstances.
----more----
I'm Hawsé Sumi—Pittsburgh artist, two-time August Wilson House grant...
It's Thanksgiving. Your MAGA-hat uncle just discovered a 2012 meme that "explains the economy." Your vegan cousin is performing a funeral for the turkey. Your mom just asked why you're still single. And you're three glasses of wine deep, smiling through clenched teeth, earning the only trophy that matters. Let's call this family dinner survival award what it is: Fucktrophe
I'm Hawsé Sumi—Pittsburgh artist, two-time August Wilson Ho...
"It's January 19th. You spent 90 days dieting. You lost zero pounds. You worked 60 hours for a $0.75 raise. You dated the same toxic type for a decade and wound up exactly where you started—just older and angrier. Let's call this special kind of progress what it is: Fuckward.
Digital Flipbook + Audiobook - coming soon Physical Calendar
"It's 8:03 AM on a Monday. The Fucksaurus in accounting just started his daily rant about the copier.
This is impressive, because that copier died during the Obama administration.
He's been complaining about the same thing since 1997. His LinkedIn still says 'synergy.' He just asked if you can fax over a PDF. Let's call this human fossil what he is: Fucksaurus.
Digital Flipbook + Audiobook - coming soon Physical Calendar
"It's 4:55 PM on a Tuesday. You finally fixed the car. You paid off one credit card. You think you're winning. Then your ex texts 'hey,' your boss schedules a 'quick sync,' your phone buzzes with a student loan reminder, and your problems start playing the world's saddest song on an instrument nobody asked for. Let's call this chaotic symphony what it is: Fuckordion.
New episodes drop daily at 6 AM EST.
Subscribe so you don't miss ...
"It's Tuesday morning. You survived Monday by sheer caffeine and spite. Then Tuesday walked in wearing Monday's stained hoodie, demanding respect, and ruined your whole vibe. You're not quitting, but you're not trying either. Let's call this survival attitude what it is: Fucktude."
New episodes drop daily at 6 AM EST.
Subscribe so you don't miss tomorrow's word.
Digital Flipbook + Audiobook - coming soon Physical Calendar
Welcome to The Daily Fckcabulary: 60 Seconds of Therapeutic Sarcasm. I'm Hawsé Sumi—Pittsburgh artist, two-time August Wilson House grant recipient, Paramount+ licensed creator, and the author of the UnF🍸ckable Book Series.
For 365 days, I'm dropping one new word, one piece of original art, and one lesson in turning life's bullshit into creative currency.
New episodes drop daily at 6 AM EST.
Subscribe so you don't miss tomorrow's ...
Welcome to The Daily Fckcabulary: 60 Seconds of Therapeutic Sarcasm. I'm Hawsé Sumi—Pittsburgh artist, two-time August Wilson House grant recipient, Paramount+ licensed creator, and the author of the UnF🍸ckable Book Series.
For 365 days, I'm dropping one new word, one piece of original art, and one lesson in turning life's bullshit into creative currency.
New episodes drop daily at 6 AM EST.
Subscribe so you don't miss tomorrow's ...
Popular Podcasts
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Burden is a documentary series that takes listeners into the hidden places where justice is done (and undone). It dives deep into the lives of heroes and villains. And it focuses a spotlight on those who triumph even when the odds are against them. Season 5 - The Burden: Death & Deceit in Alliance On April Fools Day 1999, 26-year-old Yvonne Layne was found murdered in her Alliance, Ohio home. David Thorne, her ex-boyfriend and father of one of her children, was instantly a suspect. Another young man admitted to the murder, and David breathed a sigh of relief, until the confessed murderer fingered David; “He paid me to do it.” David was sentenced to life without parole. Two decades later, Pulitzer winner and podcast host, Maggie Freleng (Bone Valley Season 3: Graves County, Wrongful Conviction, Suave) launched a “live” investigation into David's conviction alongside Jason Baldwin (himself wrongfully convicted as a member of the West Memphis Three). Maggie had come to believe that the entire investigation of David was botched by the tiny local police department, or worse, covered up the real killer. Was Maggie correct? Was David’s claim of innocence credible? In Death and Deceit in Alliance, Maggie recounts the case that launched her career, and ultimately, “broke” her.” The results will shock the listener and reduce Maggie to tears and self-doubt. This is not your typical wrongful conviction story. In fact, it turns the genre on its head. It asks the question: What if our champions are foolish? Season 4 - The Burden: Get the Money and Run “Trying to murder my father, this was the thing that put me on the path.” That’s Joe Loya and that path was bank robbery. Bank, bank, bank, bank, bank. In season 4 of The Burden: Get the Money and Run, we hear from Joe who was once the most prolific bank robber in Southern California, and beyond. He used disguises, body doubles, proxies. He leaped over counters, grabbed the money and ran. Even as the FBI was closing in. It was a showdown between a daring bank robber, and a patient FBI agent. Joe was no ordinary bank robber. He was bright, articulate, charismatic, and driven by a dark rage that he summoned up at will. In seven episodes, Joe tells all: the what, the how… and the why. Including why he tried to murder his father. Season 3 - The Burden: Avenger Miriam Lewin is one of Argentina’s leading journalists today. At 19 years old, she was kidnapped off the streets of Buenos Aires for her political activism and thrown into a concentration camp. Thousands of her fellow inmates were executed, tossed alive from a cargo plane into the ocean. Miriam, along with a handful of others, will survive the camp. Then as a journalist, she will wage a decades long campaign to bring her tormentors to justice. Avenger is about one woman’s triumphant battle against unbelievable odds to survive torture, claim justice for the crimes done against her and others like her, and change the future of her country. Season 2 - The Burden: Empire on Blood Empire on Blood is set in the Bronx, NY, in the early 90s, when two young drug dealers ruled an intersection known as “The Corner on Blood.” The boss, Calvin Buari, lived large. He and a protege swore they would build an empire on blood. Then the relationship frayed and the protege accused Calvin of a double homicide which he claimed he didn’t do. But did he? Award-winning journalist Steve Fishman spent seven years to answer that question. This is the story of one man’s last chance to overturn his life sentence. He may prevail, but someone’s gotta pay. The Burden: Empire on Blood is the director’s cut of the true crime classic which reached #1 on the charts when it was first released half a dozen years ago. Season 1 - The Burden In the 1990s, Detective Louis N. Scarcella was legendary. In a city overrun by violent crime, he cracked the toughest cases and put away the worst criminals. “The Hulk” was his nickname. Then the story changed. Scarcella ran into a group of convicted murderers who all say they are innocent. They turned themselves into jailhouse-lawyers and in prison founded a lway firm. When they realized Scarcella helped put many of them away, they set their sights on taking him down. And with the help of a NY Times reporter they have a chance. For years, Scarcella insisted he did nothing wrong. But that’s all he’d say. Until we tracked Scarcella to a sauna in a Russian bathhouse, where he started to talk..and talk and talk. “The guilty have gone free,” he whispered. And then agreed to take us into the belly of the beast. Welcome to The Burden.
"SmartLess" with Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, & Will Arnett is a podcast that connects and unites people from all walks of life to learn about shared experiences through thoughtful dialogue and organic hilarity. A nice surprise: in each episode of SmartLess, one of the hosts reveals his mystery guest to the other two. What ensues is a genuinely improvised and authentic conversation filled with laughter and newfound knowledge to feed the SmartLess mind. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of SmartLess ad-free and a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, And Charlamagne Tha God!