June 14, 2024 • 18 mins
Welcome to the School of Leadership with De Hicks. In this episode, De finishes this short 5 part series about managing anxiety as leaders, managers, supervisors, and those with influence. De explains why courage, rather than calm, is the true antidote to anxiety in high-pressure environments.
Explore the dynamics of high-anxiety groups and the pressures they place on leaders. Learn about the differentiation scale, ranging from fused leaders who are highly reactive to those who maintain their principles and composure even under stress.
De provides practical insights into how leaders can develop a strong inner architecture to thrive amidst storms. By understanding where you fall on the differentiation scale, you can better navigate leadership challenges and foster a robust mindset.
Tune in for valuable lessons from over 2,000 high-impact leaders and discover tools to enhance your leadership journey. Don’t forget to check out the HILT Academy YouTube series on Managing Leadership Anxiety for more in-depth exploration.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
The antidote to anxiety has never been calm.
Comfort and its cousin calm do not and never have resulted in security.
Courage is the antidote to anxiety.
Music.
(00:41):
Hi, I'm Dee Hicks, and welcome to the School of Leadership, leveraged lessons
from high-impact leaders.
For the past 35 years, I've researched the disciplines, habits,
mental models, and assumptions of the most effective leaders in dozens of vocations.
This podcast takes what I've learned from over 2,000 of these remarkable people
(01:03):
and distills it into practical tools and tips that you can use immediately.
Music.
(01:25):
Well, welcome back. This is part five in managing our anxiety as leaders and
managers and supervisors and then helping those around us and those that we
lead do the same with theirs.
This is about how do you and I become what Friedman called a non-anxious presence.
You remember we live in high anxiety times. All you got to do is open your eyes
and unplug your ears and look around and you can find out, you can feel it yourself.
(01:49):
We live in high anxiety times. And in high anxiety times, that tends to create
what I've come to call a low pressure group dynamic.
That's a group of people, large or small, that has as its purpose seeking low pressure.
They try to avoid the difficulty of life.
They try to bubble wrap themselves and everyone else around them and have a
(02:10):
whole series of beliefs that really result in them acting like anything difficult
or bad or hard or challenging or uncomfortable is wrong and bad.
And if they try to get rid of it and it's impossible to get rid of those feelings
of anxiety, then it must be your fault.
You're the oppressor. So they bunch together in groups.
High anxiety individuals seeking relief bunch together with other high anxiety
(02:34):
people. They form high anxiety groups.
And those groups tend to function more like herds than focused, unselfish teams.
They suspend their critical thinking and they stampede, but they're still anxious.
So they blame. They blame anyone outside of the group who is not trying to successfully
(02:55):
fix their feelings of fear and anxiety.
And if those people can't do that, then those people become oppressors.
These blaming groups put pressure on leaders to implement a quick fix for their anxiety.
The leaders themselves might be high anxiety people, and they might react with quick fixes.
The quick fixes don't work. The anxiety is not relieved.
(03:17):
More anxiety, more herds, more blame, more attempt at quick fixes to remove
the feelings of anxiety, not their source, and the cycle turns into a spiral.
So the antidote to anxiety has never been calm. Comfort does not and never has resulted in security.
Courage is the The Antidote to Anxiety.
(03:40):
Courageous leaders are unselfish rather than deserving. They think they serve. They're different.
They're what Murray Bowen, who's the founder of modern systems theory,
called a well-differentiated leader.
Differentiation in this context refers to a person's capacity to define his
(04:00):
or her own life and goals and values apart from the anxious and manipulative
pressures of those around them.
The focus of differentiation is on the ability to think clearly and carefully
as another means besides our feelings of knowing ourselves and of deciding what
(04:21):
course of action to take.
Differentiation involves the ability to hold on to who you are and understand who you are not.
Again, as a differentiated leader, you're able to affirm your distinct values
and goals and role apart from the pressures of other people around you.
(04:43):
You see yourself as a separate person while remaining close to people important to you.
People with a high level of differentiation know their own beliefs.
They know their own convictions and their own goals. And they have core principles
and they're well aware of what they are.
And they know those apart from the pressures around them arising from the people that they lead.
(05:07):
They could be in a storm and get wet, but not get knocked over,
nor do they change their direction because the storm is blowing from anxious
people all around them. But differentiated leaders or well-differentiated leaders
can choose how they want to be.
They're not controlled by the approval or the disapproval of others.
They don't mean they don't notice it. They don't feel it, but they're not controlled by it.
(05:30):
They're not controlled by strong feelings, by high stress, or even the anxiety
of others buffeting against them. They don't soak it up.
They notice those pressures for sure. They're not like some cold robot,
but they're not controlled by those pressures. They don't allow them to overwhelm
their capacity to think and choose and act.
(05:52):
They can disagree with people, but they don't disengage with them and turn them into an enemy.
A great way to think about differentiation in leaders is by using a scale.
I'm going to go through this pretty quickly. It's really fascinating, really interesting.
And if you want more information about this, you could go find our Managing
Leadership Anxiety YouTube video part five.
(06:14):
And then when you look at that video, feel free to watch the whole thing.
It's this, it's a version of this. It's just in a video.
But the show notes that go with that have a link to where you can see this entire
list that I'm going to walk you through. This scale, if you want to think about
it this way, goes from zero to 100 with those closer to zero are in a state
of what's called fusion.
(06:35):
It means they are glued together. They're fused with other people.
They're fused with the emotional processes and the thought process and the value
processes of people around them. They are the same.
And when those people turn left, they turn left too. Those people closer to
the 100 end of the scale are well differentiated.
They are what Bowen came to call a non-anxious presence. And I described that just a second ago.
(06:58):
So fused or undifferentiated leaders themselves, they really have little sense of themselves.
They need continual affirmation and they need a lot of admiration from other
people because they don't have a clear sense of who they are.
They depend on what other people think and even what other people feel in order
to have a sense of their own worth, maybe their own identity.
(07:21):
They really don't know themselves apart from the feelings and thoughts of other people.
If you're getting too close to someone and thus being swallowed up in that person's
storm, they don't have the ability to be close to somebody who's suffering,
for example, without also suffering.
And they may avoid the closeness of others, therefore completely.
They have a little ability to distinguish between their feelings and the feelings
(07:43):
of others and their thoughts and the thoughts of others.
So that's what's called a fused or undifferentiated leader. So here's the scale.
And I'll divide the scale up from zero to 25, 25 to 50, 50 to 75, and then 75 to 100.
And again, you can go find this stuff on our YouTube channel called the Hilt
Academy and look for one of our later videos out called Managing Leadership Anxiety Part 5.
(08:07):
Look at the show notes and you'll see a link that'll get you to this entire list.
Or you can just listen along. wrong. So think about where you are and think
about how does this describe me?
Not in each detail, but generally speaking.
So here's seven characteristics of somebody who's at the zero to 25 level.
This means you are probably pretty fused or you are undifferentiated.
(08:27):
Number one, you can't distinguish between fact and feeling yours or someone else's.
You're number two, emotionally needy and highly reactive to other people's emotions.
Much of your life energy is spent in winning the approval of others,
and you've got little energy for goal-directed activities.
You think you can't say what you believe to be true if it upsets other people around you.
(08:51):
You have little emotional separation
from your family and have dependent relationships with everybody.
Everything in your life is dependent upon how someone else reacts.
You do very poorly in transitions or in a crisis or in some major life adjustment. It kind of grinds you.
And the last one in this category is you're unable to see where you end and others begin.
(09:16):
Okay, that's probably not you. That's a zero to 25 level.
That's an undifferentiated person that is definitely someone who's fused into
or grafted into the emotional and mental states of other people around them.
As you can guess, if you're a leader, a manager, or a supervisor,
it would be almost impossible for someone to lead if they were like that.
They would become one of these anxious presence type leaders who leads low pressure
(09:38):
groups. From the 25 to 50 scale, they're slightly differentiated,
but here are eight characteristics.
They have some ability to distinguish between fact and feeling.
They can kind of spot it, especially if it's really obnoxious.
Most of their self is a false self.
Not all of it, most of it is, and it's merely a reflection of what others think
(10:00):
of them or want them to be.
They may not like coffee, but everyone around them likes coffee.
And so they think, well, I guess I should like coffee too.
And when asked, they'd say, yeah, I kind of like coffee. That's like that kind
of person. And then when anxiety is low, they function really, really well.
They are quick to imitate others and to change themselves to gain acceptance
from others on so many levels, from the shoes that they wear to the kind of career they choose.
(10:23):
They often talk one set of principles and beliefs in a group.
Group, and then in another group, they talk another set of principles and beliefs,
and then when alone, they do another.
The next characteristic is that their self-esteem soars with compliments,
and it's crushed with criticism.
They become anxious and highly reactive, and they freak out when a relationship
(10:45):
system falls apart or becomes unbalanced, and it takes a long time,
if ever, for them to recover.
When stressed, they often make really poor decisions because they just can't think clearly.
All right, that's 25 to 50. If that's you, you might be in that category.
Think about this next category.
This is what Bowen would call a 50 to 75 level.
(11:07):
They are aware of the thinking and feelings and functions that make teams work.
The second characteristic is they have a reasonable level of awareness.
They know what they are and they know what they are not, at least on a grand
or gross level. Big level, I mean. Not gross, big.
They can follow life goals and they're determined from within.
(11:28):
They make their own goals. They can do that. They can state beliefs calmly and
they do so often without putting others down.
They can build functioning partnerships.
They can allow children, if they're parents, to progress through the developmental
phases and into adult autonomy without too many sparks or a few.
They function okay alone.
(11:49):
They function a little bit better in groups. They're generally able to cope
with a crisis generally without falling apart.
And they stay in relational connection with others without insisting that those
people see the world the same way that they do.
Their groups, their friends tend to be a little more diverse than folks who
might be in the 20 to 50 scale or something like that. Okay,
(12:10):
here's the last scale, 75 to 100.
Now, this really describes what Bowen called a non-anxious presence.
This is a person who you can put them in the middle of a low pressure system
and they will lead in such a way that eventually they could turn that system
into what we call a high pressure system, a system that's a group of people
who lean into doing good and wonderful things.
And even if the pressure is intense, they continue to do it.
(12:32):
They don't run from high pressure. Okay, here are the characteristics of a person
who is in non-anxious presence.
They would, on this scale, rate 75 to 100-something in there. Is this you?
So, if people function at this level, they are principle-oriented and goal-directed.
They have feelings, but those feelings don't get them off their goals or they
don't cause them to function contrary to principles.
(12:53):
Principles they are secure in who they are and relatively unaffected by criticism or praise,
they're able to leave their family of origin and become inner
directed and separate from their family as an adult doesn't mean you're dead
to me they never interact they don't love it have connections with the family
doesn't mean that at all but it means they have they assume responsibility for
(13:15):
their own direction as an adult they're sure of their beliefs but they're not
dogmatic and enclosed in their thinking. They're curious.
They can hear and evaluate the beliefs of others. They can discard their old
beliefs in favor of new ones.
And they have an appetite for reality.
And they know that their mental models are incomplete.
(13:36):
They can listen without reacting, and they can communicate without antagonizing others.
They can respect others without having to change them.
They're aware of their dependence on others, but at the same time,
they encourage those others to feel free to enjoy life and play in a different way than they do.
They're able to maintain a non-anxious presence in the midst of stress and pressure.
(14:00):
And lastly, they're able to take responsibility for their own life,
their own direction. So where are you?
What step of that scale fits you? In fact, if you were to jump on the bathroom
scale of leadership, what would it say about you?
If you look in the mirror and if you especially paid attention to yourself when
(14:21):
you're under pressure and when you're around people who you care about who are
under pressure, what do you see?
So if you and I are going to continue to be effective, especially under pressure
and in the midst of a storm of anxiety in our society, we need to learn to have
this inner architecture that allows us to be fully engaged,
but at the same time differentiated from the emotional hijacking of the people
(14:45):
that we lead and live around.
The storm is the norm. Calm waters are rare.
Air. So if you're going to thrive as a leader, it needs to be in the storms
without being swamped by the storm.
So you may want to zip backwards on this podcast and listen to that scale again.
I went over it pretty quickly, this time perhaps thinking more deeply about
(15:07):
yourself and maybe run through it a third time and think of someone who you
know who is in that 75 to 100 scale, that last bit of descriptions that I gave you.
Maybe schedule a lunch or a dinner with him or her. Share this with them and
see what they have to say, how they learned this approach to life and leadership.
Yeah, I think you'll be glad you did.
(15:28):
All right, my friend, it's been a fun series to put together for you and to
share with you. I hope it's worthwhile for you.
And if you know somebody who you think this might be interesting,
how about sharing that with them?
Just spread it around like wonderful peanut butter.
Anyway i really enjoy these times with you mostly
because it might take six months or a year and one or
two of you will say i listened to that podcast and it was very helpful or it
(15:51):
was entertaining or something like that so i know you've got important work
to do i know you've got this and what i also have over here is a mcallen i haven't
poured it yet i'm going to step away from the recording You can walk over here and grab the Macallan.
There it is. The Macallan 12.
Macallan 12-year-old. Oh, this is so good.
(16:14):
This is a Highland Single Malt Scotch Whiskey. I'm sure you know it.
I'm sure you've even tried it. This was a gift.
And I've had this bottle sitting in here for three or four months,
and it's only half consumed. soon.
I will not finish it off as soon as I'm finished with this podcast.
I will have a sip though. And I'm imagining you're here and I raise a glass
to you. You've got great, important work to do.
(16:36):
We need you to succeed. Keep it up.
Music.
Thanks for joining me in today's School of Leadership.
I know your time is valuable and And I appreciate the opportunity to spend a
little bit of it with you.
(16:57):
If this podcast has been helpful, perhaps you could consider sharing it with a friend.
And maybe you want to check out the dozens of videos that we've created for
you on our YouTube channel.
Just look for Hilt Academy, H-I-L-T Academy.
And Hilt stands for High Impact Leadership Training.
(17:19):
And if you want to check out our in-depth leadership management and supervisory
courses, head on over to HiltAcademy at Thinkific.com and see what we have to offer there.
Once again, thanks for taking a little bit of time and spending it with me.
Music.
The antidote to anxiety has never been calm.
Comfort and its cousin calm do not and never have resulted in security.
Courage is the antidote to anxiety.
Music.
(00:41):
Hi, I'm Dee Hicks, and welcome to the School of Leadership, leveraged lessons
from high-impact leaders.
For the past 35 years, I've researched the disciplines, habits,
mental models, and assumptions of the most effective leaders in dozens of vocations.
This podcast takes what I've learned from over 2,000 of these remarkable people
(01:03):
and distills it into practical tools and tips that you can use immediately.
Music.
(01:25):
Well, welcome back. This is part five in managing our anxiety as leaders and
managers and supervisors and then helping those around us and those that we
lead do the same with theirs.
This is about how do you and I become what Friedman called a non-anxious presence.
You remember we live in high anxiety times. All you got to do is open your eyes
and unplug your ears and look around and you can find out, you can feel it yourself.
(01:49):
We live in high anxiety times. And in high anxiety times, that tends to create
what I've come to call a low pressure group dynamic.
That's a group of people, large or small, that has as its purpose seeking low pressure.
They try to avoid the difficulty of life.
They try to bubble wrap themselves and everyone else around them and have a
(02:10):
whole series of beliefs that really result in them acting like anything difficult
or bad or hard or challenging or uncomfortable is wrong and bad.
And if they try to get rid of it and it's impossible to get rid of those feelings
of anxiety, then it must be your fault.
You're the oppressor. So they bunch together in groups.
High anxiety individuals seeking relief bunch together with other high anxiety
(02:34):
people. They form high anxiety groups.
And those groups tend to function more like herds than focused, unselfish teams.
They suspend their critical thinking and they stampede, but they're still anxious.
So they blame. They blame anyone outside of the group who is not trying to successfully
(02:55):
fix their feelings of fear and anxiety.
And if those people can't do that, then those people become oppressors.
These blaming groups put pressure on leaders to implement a quick fix for their anxiety.
The leaders themselves might be high anxiety people, and they might react with quick fixes.
The quick fixes don't work. The anxiety is not relieved.
(03:17):
More anxiety, more herds, more blame, more attempt at quick fixes to remove
the feelings of anxiety, not their source, and the cycle turns into a spiral.
So the antidote to anxiety has never been calm. Comfort does not and never has resulted in security.
Courage is the The Antidote to Anxiety.
(03:40):
Courageous leaders are unselfish rather than deserving. They think they serve. They're different.
They're what Murray Bowen, who's the founder of modern systems theory,
called a well-differentiated leader.
Differentiation in this context refers to a person's capacity to define his
(04:00):
or her own life and goals and values apart from the anxious and manipulative
pressures of those around them.
The focus of differentiation is on the ability to think clearly and carefully
as another means besides our feelings of knowing ourselves and of deciding what
(04:21):
course of action to take.
Differentiation involves the ability to hold on to who you are and understand who you are not.
Again, as a differentiated leader, you're able to affirm your distinct values
and goals and role apart from the pressures of other people around you.
(04:43):
You see yourself as a separate person while remaining close to people important to you.
People with a high level of differentiation know their own beliefs.
They know their own convictions and their own goals. And they have core principles
and they're well aware of what they are.
And they know those apart from the pressures around them arising from the people that they lead.
(05:07):
They could be in a storm and get wet, but not get knocked over,
nor do they change their direction because the storm is blowing from anxious
people all around them. But differentiated leaders or well-differentiated leaders
can choose how they want to be.
They're not controlled by the approval or the disapproval of others.
They don't mean they don't notice it. They don't feel it, but they're not controlled by it.
(05:30):
They're not controlled by strong feelings, by high stress, or even the anxiety
of others buffeting against them. They don't soak it up.
They notice those pressures for sure. They're not like some cold robot,
but they're not controlled by those pressures. They don't allow them to overwhelm
their capacity to think and choose and act.
(05:52):
They can disagree with people, but they don't disengage with them and turn them into an enemy.
A great way to think about differentiation in leaders is by using a scale.
I'm going to go through this pretty quickly. It's really fascinating, really interesting.
And if you want more information about this, you could go find our Managing
Leadership Anxiety YouTube video part five.
(06:14):
And then when you look at that video, feel free to watch the whole thing.
It's this, it's a version of this. It's just in a video.
But the show notes that go with that have a link to where you can see this entire
list that I'm going to walk you through. This scale, if you want to think about
it this way, goes from zero to 100 with those closer to zero are in a state
of what's called fusion.
(06:35):
It means they are glued together. They're fused with other people.
They're fused with the emotional processes and the thought process and the value
processes of people around them. They are the same.
And when those people turn left, they turn left too. Those people closer to
the 100 end of the scale are well differentiated.
They are what Bowen came to call a non-anxious presence. And I described that just a second ago.
(06:58):
So fused or undifferentiated leaders themselves, they really have little sense of themselves.
They need continual affirmation and they need a lot of admiration from other
people because they don't have a clear sense of who they are.
They depend on what other people think and even what other people feel in order
to have a sense of their own worth, maybe their own identity.
(07:21):
They really don't know themselves apart from the feelings and thoughts of other people.
If you're getting too close to someone and thus being swallowed up in that person's
storm, they don't have the ability to be close to somebody who's suffering,
for example, without also suffering.
And they may avoid the closeness of others, therefore completely.
They have a little ability to distinguish between their feelings and the feelings
(07:43):
of others and their thoughts and the thoughts of others.
So that's what's called a fused or undifferentiated leader. So here's the scale.
And I'll divide the scale up from zero to 25, 25 to 50, 50 to 75, and then 75 to 100.
And again, you can go find this stuff on our YouTube channel called the Hilt
Academy and look for one of our later videos out called Managing Leadership Anxiety Part 5.
(08:07):
Look at the show notes and you'll see a link that'll get you to this entire list.
Or you can just listen along. wrong. So think about where you are and think
about how does this describe me?
Not in each detail, but generally speaking.
So here's seven characteristics of somebody who's at the zero to 25 level.
This means you are probably pretty fused or you are undifferentiated.
(08:27):
Number one, you can't distinguish between fact and feeling yours or someone else's.
You're number two, emotionally needy and highly reactive to other people's emotions.
Much of your life energy is spent in winning the approval of others,
and you've got little energy for goal-directed activities.
You think you can't say what you believe to be true if it upsets other people around you.
(08:51):
You have little emotional separation
from your family and have dependent relationships with everybody.
Everything in your life is dependent upon how someone else reacts.
You do very poorly in transitions or in a crisis or in some major life adjustment. It kind of grinds you.
And the last one in this category is you're unable to see where you end and others begin.
(09:16):
Okay, that's probably not you. That's a zero to 25 level.
That's an undifferentiated person that is definitely someone who's fused into
or grafted into the emotional and mental states of other people around them.
As you can guess, if you're a leader, a manager, or a supervisor,
it would be almost impossible for someone to lead if they were like that.
They would become one of these anxious presence type leaders who leads low pressure
(09:38):
groups. From the 25 to 50 scale, they're slightly differentiated,
but here are eight characteristics.
They have some ability to distinguish between fact and feeling.
They can kind of spot it, especially if it's really obnoxious.
Most of their self is a false self.
Not all of it, most of it is, and it's merely a reflection of what others think
(10:00):
of them or want them to be.
They may not like coffee, but everyone around them likes coffee.
And so they think, well, I guess I should like coffee too.
And when asked, they'd say, yeah, I kind of like coffee. That's like that kind
of person. And then when anxiety is low, they function really, really well.
They are quick to imitate others and to change themselves to gain acceptance
from others on so many levels, from the shoes that they wear to the kind of career they choose.
(10:23):
They often talk one set of principles and beliefs in a group.
Group, and then in another group, they talk another set of principles and beliefs,
and then when alone, they do another.
The next characteristic is that their self-esteem soars with compliments,
and it's crushed with criticism.
They become anxious and highly reactive, and they freak out when a relationship
(10:45):
system falls apart or becomes unbalanced, and it takes a long time,
if ever, for them to recover.
When stressed, they often make really poor decisions because they just can't think clearly.
All right, that's 25 to 50. If that's you, you might be in that category.
Think about this next category.
This is what Bowen would call a 50 to 75 level.
(11:07):
They are aware of the thinking and feelings and functions that make teams work.
The second characteristic is they have a reasonable level of awareness.
They know what they are and they know what they are not, at least on a grand
or gross level. Big level, I mean. Not gross, big.
They can follow life goals and they're determined from within.
(11:28):
They make their own goals. They can do that. They can state beliefs calmly and
they do so often without putting others down.
They can build functioning partnerships.
They can allow children, if they're parents, to progress through the developmental
phases and into adult autonomy without too many sparks or a few.
They function okay alone.
(11:49):
They function a little bit better in groups. They're generally able to cope
with a crisis generally without falling apart.
And they stay in relational connection with others without insisting that those
people see the world the same way that they do.
Their groups, their friends tend to be a little more diverse than folks who
might be in the 20 to 50 scale or something like that. Okay,
(12:10):
here's the last scale, 75 to 100.
Now, this really describes what Bowen called a non-anxious presence.
This is a person who you can put them in the middle of a low pressure system
and they will lead in such a way that eventually they could turn that system
into what we call a high pressure system, a system that's a group of people
who lean into doing good and wonderful things.
And even if the pressure is intense, they continue to do it.
(12:32):
They don't run from high pressure. Okay, here are the characteristics of a person
who is in non-anxious presence.
They would, on this scale, rate 75 to 100-something in there. Is this you?
So, if people function at this level, they are principle-oriented and goal-directed.
They have feelings, but those feelings don't get them off their goals or they
don't cause them to function contrary to principles.
(12:53):
Principles they are secure in who they are and relatively unaffected by criticism or praise,
they're able to leave their family of origin and become inner
directed and separate from their family as an adult doesn't mean you're dead
to me they never interact they don't love it have connections with the family
doesn't mean that at all but it means they have they assume responsibility for
(13:15):
their own direction as an adult they're sure of their beliefs but they're not
dogmatic and enclosed in their thinking. They're curious.
They can hear and evaluate the beliefs of others. They can discard their old
beliefs in favor of new ones.
And they have an appetite for reality.
And they know that their mental models are incomplete.
(13:36):
They can listen without reacting, and they can communicate without antagonizing others.
They can respect others without having to change them.
They're aware of their dependence on others, but at the same time,
they encourage those others to feel free to enjoy life and play in a different way than they do.
They're able to maintain a non-anxious presence in the midst of stress and pressure.
(14:00):
And lastly, they're able to take responsibility for their own life,
their own direction. So where are you?
What step of that scale fits you? In fact, if you were to jump on the bathroom
scale of leadership, what would it say about you?
If you look in the mirror and if you especially paid attention to yourself when
(14:21):
you're under pressure and when you're around people who you care about who are
under pressure, what do you see?
So if you and I are going to continue to be effective, especially under pressure
and in the midst of a storm of anxiety in our society, we need to learn to have
this inner architecture that allows us to be fully engaged,
but at the same time differentiated from the emotional hijacking of the people
(14:45):
that we lead and live around.
The storm is the norm. Calm waters are rare.
Air. So if you're going to thrive as a leader, it needs to be in the storms
without being swamped by the storm.
So you may want to zip backwards on this podcast and listen to that scale again.
I went over it pretty quickly, this time perhaps thinking more deeply about
(15:07):
yourself and maybe run through it a third time and think of someone who you
know who is in that 75 to 100 scale, that last bit of descriptions that I gave you.
Maybe schedule a lunch or a dinner with him or her. Share this with them and
see what they have to say, how they learned this approach to life and leadership.
Yeah, I think you'll be glad you did.
(15:28):
All right, my friend, it's been a fun series to put together for you and to
share with you. I hope it's worthwhile for you.
And if you know somebody who you think this might be interesting,
how about sharing that with them?
Just spread it around like wonderful peanut butter.
Anyway i really enjoy these times with you mostly
because it might take six months or a year and one or
two of you will say i listened to that podcast and it was very helpful or it
(15:51):
was entertaining or something like that so i know you've got important work
to do i know you've got this and what i also have over here is a mcallen i haven't
poured it yet i'm going to step away from the recording You can walk over here and grab the Macallan.
There it is. The Macallan 12.
Macallan 12-year-old. Oh, this is so good.
(16:14):
This is a Highland Single Malt Scotch Whiskey. I'm sure you know it.
I'm sure you've even tried it. This was a gift.
And I've had this bottle sitting in here for three or four months,
and it's only half consumed. soon.
I will not finish it off as soon as I'm finished with this podcast.
I will have a sip though. And I'm imagining you're here and I raise a glass
to you. You've got great, important work to do.
(16:36):
We need you to succeed. Keep it up.
Music.
Thanks for joining me in today's School of Leadership.
I know your time is valuable and And I appreciate the opportunity to spend a
little bit of it with you.
(16:57):
If this podcast has been helpful, perhaps you could consider sharing it with a friend.
And maybe you want to check out the dozens of videos that we've created for
you on our YouTube channel.
Just look for Hilt Academy, H-I-L-T Academy.
And Hilt stands for High Impact Leadership Training.
(17:19):
And if you want to check out our in-depth leadership management and supervisory
courses, head on over to HiltAcademy at Thinkific.com and see what we have to offer there.
Once again, thanks for taking a little bit of time and spending it with me.
Music.
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