The Mental Load of Motherhood: Using ABA to Lighten the Load

Are you constantly keeping track of everyone’s schedules, to-do lists, meal plans, and birthday gifts—even if your partner “helps out”? That invisible, overwhelming responsibility is called mental load, and it’s a major factor in burnout for many mothers and caregivers. In this episode of Everyday ABA, hosts Paola (BCBA), Leslie and Brittany (RBT) explore how Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) can be used to reduce and redistribute the maternal mental load—the often unseen cognitive labor that women carry in their households. The hosts unpack what mental load really is, why it disproportionately affects women over men, and the behavioral science behind why it’s so hard to delegate. They also share their lived experiences and insights from modern books on domestic life and relationships. Listeners will walk away with actionable ABA strategies—like task analysis, positive reinforcement, and behavior contracts—to help share the load more fairly among caregivers.

 

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Fair Play

Find your Unicorn Space

  Learning Objectives for CEU- By the end of this episode, listeners will be able to:

• Define the concept of maternal mental load and describe psychological and behavioral factors that contribute to the unequal distribution of mental load within households.
• Identify and analyze examples of behavioral chains that contribute to maternal mental load and explain how behavioral momentum and rule-governed behavior maintain these patterns.
• Develop a task analysis for a common household responsibility (e.g., managing laundry, preparing school lunches) and assign clear ownership of each step to promote shared responsibility.
• Create a behavior contract for one household task, specifying task ownership, performance expectations, and reinforcement contingencies to increase partner participation

References: 

Daminger, A. (2019). The cognitive dimension of household labor. American Sociological Review, 84(4), 609–633. 

Dunn, J. (2017). How not to hate your husband after kids: A survival guide. Little, Brown and Company.

Rodsky, E. (2019). Fair play: A game-changing solution for when you have too much to do (and more life to live). G.P. Putnam’s Sons.

Rodsky, E. (2021). Find your unicorn space: Reclaim your creative life in a too-busy world. G.P. Putnam’s Sons.

Skinner, B. F. (1953). Science and human behavior. Macmillan.

Walzer, S. (1996). Thinking about the baby: Gender and transitions into parenthood. Gender & Society, 10(5), 592–621. https://doi.org/10.1177/089124396010005005