Redefining Comfort Zones

Episode 14 of The F.L.O.W. Podcast features Asha Wilkerson, a dynamic advocate, educator, and life coach dedicated to empowering BIPOC women to embrace a life of freedom and authenticity. Asha shares her journey from a successful law career to becoming a life coach who helps women break free from societal expectations and live their lives on their own terms.

 

💡 What We Discuss:

⚡Understanding Alignment: Asha talks about the significance of continuous self-reflection and knowing when it's time to move on from situations that no longer serve you.

⚡Redefining Comfort Zones: Asha introduces the idea of the "familiar zone" versus the "comfort zone," encouraging listeners to step into the unfamiliar to grow and thrive.

⚡Reiki & Intuition: Asha also shares insights into her practice as a Reiki practitioner and how tapping into intuition can enhance healing and personal growth.

 

Connect with Asha:  Website: www.ashawilkerson.com IG: @ashawilkersonesq

 

Connect with Angela: Website: www.angelavharris.com Instagram: @coachangelavharris   @theflowpodcastwithangela  LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/angelavharris   Thank you for listening to the F.L.O.W. Podcast.  The F.L.O.W. is released bi-weekly on Wednesdays and is available on over 15 platforms. Listen and subscribe to the F.L.O.W. Podcast on your favorite platform today!

 

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Each episode of The F.L.O.W. is dedicated to amplifying the voices of Black women in leadership. We dive deep into your journey, perspectives, and experiences, creating a space to inspire and empower our community.

 

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Episode Transcript

Angela Harris (00:00):
Music. Welcome to the flow podcast, fearlessly

(00:09):
leading our way. This podcast isa space dedicated to
spotlighting the unfilteredvoices of black women in their
unique leadership journeys. I amyour host, Angela V. Harris, I'm
an award winning coach, speaker,author and champion from black

(00:32):
women. Make sure you like andsubscribe to this podcast to
stay connected to ourconversation, let's get ready to
flow.

(00:57):
Hello, fearless leaders, andthank you for turning tuning in
to the flow podcast, we explorethe journeys of black women
leaders. If you're tuning in forthe first time, I'm glad you're
here, and if you're one of ourregulars, welcome back. I am
your host. Angela V. Harris,today's guest is Asha Wilkerson,

(01:18):
a dynamic advocate, educator andlife coach dedicated to
empowering bipoc women on theirjourney to freedom. Asha has
leveraged her legal expertiseover the years to guide
entrepreneurs of color throughbusiness formation and legal
matters, ensuring theirsustained success. Currently,

(01:40):
Asha channels her passion intolife coaching for bipoc women,
helping them break free fromsocietal expectations and
embrace a life of freedom,whether it's freedom from
expectations or their freedom tolive their life of their dreams.
Asha coaching empowers women tolive in power, light and love.

(02:03):
Welcome to the show. Asha,

Asha Wilkerson (02:05):
thank you for having me. I'm happy to be here.

Angela Harris (02:08):
Well, this is a very good topic that I want to
dive into, living a life offreedom and just encouraging
women to, you know, break free,to step outside of the norm. So
I'm excited to dive into thisconversation. Yeah, absolutely.
Well, I know you worked as anattorney, a college educator,
and now you're a certifiedcoach. Walk us through your

(02:30):
journey.

Asha Wilkerson (02:32):
Yeah, that's a it's a good question. I was just
thinking about this as you'rereading my bio, the the movement
to freedom, and for me, that hashappened over a series of
changes that I realized at somepoint that I was living in this
box, and this box is whatsociety tells us that we're
supposed to do, maybe what ourparents tell us that we're

(02:54):
supposed to do, how law schooltaught me to be an attorney, how
other law firms were practicing,And I would emulate that model.
And at some point, I realizedthat I was trying to make myself
comfortable inside the same box,and that I was looking for a
corner of the box that felt alittle bit better. But the truth
is, I didn't want to be in acorner. And so over the years,

(03:17):
after making changes to feelmore comfortable in the same
profession, to feel morecomfortable in a slightly
adjacent profession, but relyingon my same degree, I decided I
just, I just got sick and tiredof being sick and tired, and
decided, like effort, I'mbreaking out of this box. I'm
not going to create a new box,but I'm creating a, I don't
know, a rhombus or somethinglike that. You know, no lines,

(03:38):
no scripts, just going to dowhat I want to and follow the
love and the passion that I haveand trust that everything is
going to be okay. So it's been ajourney to get here.

Angela Harris (03:51):
Yeah, I'm sure, and I know you came to a point
in your life where you realizedyour accomplishments weren't
enough, and you were intentionalabout rediscovering yourself.
What did you learn aboutyourself when you want that
journey. Yeah,

Asha Wilkerson (04:02):
you know, oftentimes we look back and have
the framework of, you know, Iwas I was never happy, or I knew
for a long time, but I didn'tknow for a long time that I
wasn't in alignment. I thinkwhat happened was there were
times I've always made everysituation my own, and I would
get there and I would enjoy it.So I started my own law

(04:23):
practice, and I thought, this iscool. And then I got tired of
litigating, and so then I movedfrom being in court to advising
business owners. This is it. Ilike this. Did that for a period
of time, and then I didn't wantto do that anymore. I got tired
of just being responsible forthe outcome of these cases. And
then started teaching. I went toa community college and was

(04:43):
running the paralegal program,and that was my dream job for a
period of time. And I don't knowthat anything was out of
alignment the entire way. Ithink it was more that I grew I
saw more of the world. I sawmore options and opportunities,
and. Where I was, the changesthat I had made fit for a period

(05:03):
of time, and then I outgrew thatsituation, so it was no longer
in alignment. So it takes aconstant reflecting and
analyzing, you know, what areyour wants, your desires? And
maybe sometimes, before you getto that, you have to realize
what's actually making youuncomfortable, so you know what
to change. It may not be thatyou need to erase everything,

(05:26):
but maybe you know you make acouple changes and it feels a
little bit better, and thenhaving the courage and the trust
in yourself in the universe anda higher power to believe that
those changes that you make aregoing to work out for you in the
end.

Angela Harris (05:41):
So what I hear said, you really, you know, have
no regrets regarding yourjourney. And I also heard that
you had this curiosity that kindof, you know, pushed you along
as you were exploring differentfacets of your career. Yeah,

Asha Wilkerson (05:52):
absolutely, I have zero regrets. I think a lot
of people say, Oh, I wish Iwould have done this 10 years
ago, but that hasn't been mystory. I have been, I guess, as
I think about it, like, I guessI am kind of impressed with how
I have refused to sit in asituation that was not a good
fit. I am not someone who sitsthere and says, Oh, this is the

(06:12):
best it can be, or I'm so luckyto be here. If something is
uncomfortable, I'm going to lookat a way to make a change,
either make it more comfortableor to do something else
completely. A lot of people, alot of my friends, have been
saying lately, Oh, you're socourageous. You're so
courageous. I don't think it'sactually courage. I think it's
an unwillingness to acceptsomething that is uncomfortable.

Angela Harris (06:33):
Yeah, and it's also knowing your work soon. I
think we're kindred spirits inthat aspect, I've moved around a
lot in my career just because Ifelt like I wasn't getting what
I needed or what I deserved, or,again, it's about knowing your
worst. I wasn't afraid to chasewhat I thought I deserved. Mm,
hmm,

Asha Wilkerson (06:49):
absolutely. And you know, what's the worst that
can happen at some point when II don't know if you would say
rock bottom, when I got to mywits end, that's probably a
better phrase. When I was justburned out and tired, and I
realized I have nothing to proveto anybody. I've done it, I've
gone to law school, I've had myown business, I've got tenure as
a professor who cares all ofthese things that were supposed

(07:11):
to be it like they served apurpose. They gave me security,
in some sense, and at thispoint, I do not care anymore, so
I am going to go in and live theway that I want to live and see
what happens?

Angela Harris (07:26):
Yeah, I get it, because I also feel like there
are no wasted experiences. Andone thing I've also learned
through my journey as well isthat we can have more than one
calling. It sounds like law wasyour first calling, which
propelled you to a new calling.And similar for me, technology
was my first calling, which ledme to my new calling of
coaching.

Asha Wilkerson (07:44):
Yeah, I would say teaching is actually my
first calling. When I was a kid,I was making lesson plans at
like seven or eight years old,and just, I don't know anybody
else who did that, other thanthe friend I was doing it with
at that point in time. So Ialways thought I was going to be
a teacher. But my mom was aneducator. She was a principal.
My auntie had been a teacher andthen an administrator in school
district, and I loved kids, so Ithought I was going to be a

(08:06):
teacher, but I ended up going toa summer program for law, and I
enjoyed it, and I had to makethe choice, what would be the
best plan to set me up for thefuture. But even in law, I chose
law because I thought, well, Icould go to court. I could write
policy. I could represent peoplewho don't have a voice. I could
do all of these different thingswith this legal background. But

(08:27):
even then, in law school, Iwould teach. I taught to middle
schoolers and high schoolers,and then out of law school, once
I graduated a couple years Itaught adjunct in a paralegal
program, and then I ended upteaching again. So my theme
throughout life has beeneducation has been teaching us,
teach exercise classes and allkinds of stuff, but law was the
vehicle that I chose at 22 tomake my entrance into the world.

(08:53):
Mm, hmm.

Angela Harris (08:55):
Well, I read somewhere that 98% of people
live their lives inside of theircomfort zone, only 2% of people
really go after their dreams. Soit sounds like you're really in
that 2%

Asha Wilkerson (09:06):
Yeah, yeah. I have an interesting thought
about comfort zones too, which Ithink resonates just with my my
unwillingness to sit indiscomfort, that most of the
time, if you're asking aquestion, if you're saying,
could I do this, or I want totry something new, and we go,
Well, I'm just going to be in mycomfort zone, or this is inside

(09:27):
my comfort zone. But I want topropose people that if you're
asking the question, if you'rethinking about something
different, it's because you werealready uncomfortable. So you
should rename your comfort zoneto your familiar zone, because
when you think about steppingout of what's familiar, you have

(09:47):
done that before. You've gone toa new school, you've started a
new job, you've gone to a newhair stylist or Barber, right?
You've made new friends, youhave done things that are
unfamiliar and that is easier todraw. Parallel and think, Oh, I
could make this switch. It seemsuncomfortable, but it's not
uncomfortable. It's justunfamiliar. And so then you stop

(10:08):
relying on your presentsituation, because you recognize
what it is. It's uncomfortable,it's just familiar. So the next
situation may also beuncomfortable, but it's really
just unfamiliar. And you canmake that comfortable once you
become more familiar with whatit is, I love

Angela Harris (10:24):
that reframing the familiar zone.

Asha Wilkerson (10:27):
Mm, hmm, yeah, absolutely.

Angela Harris (10:30):
Well, I know there may be some listeners who
have those inner whispers, orthey have those feelings that
it's time to move on, but theytalk themselves out of it. When
did you know it's time for youto make that move efficiently.
Yeah,

Asha Wilkerson (10:44):
I had been thinking about it for a while,
but I actually felt stuckbecause of my attorney's
license. So when I graduated lawschool, California didn't have
any reciprocity with any otherbar, which mean that I would
have to sit and take anotherbar. And I just I didn't want to
do that, and because I had goneto law school so young, I really

(11:06):
had the framing that all I knowis law, and if I don't want to
do this, what else could I do?And so that was part of the
reason for the pivot indifferent areas within law, and
then to teaching about law. ButI finally got to that point
where I said, Okay, this is thisis gotta change when during the

(11:26):
pan, even before the pandemic.But really, during the pandemic,
once we had to sit down, Irealized how exhausted I was.
Couple years into the pandemic,I ended up gaining a bunch of
weight, and was doing the sameexercises I was doing before.
Couldn't get it off, and I wouldwake up in the middle of the
night, three, four o'clock inthe morning. Sometimes I'd run
through my to do list. SometimesI wouldn't be thinking about

(11:48):
anything in particular, but Ijust couldn't sleep. When emails
would come in, when phone callswould come in, I would be
irritated, and I didn't want to,you know, do the reports that I
had to do for the program. And Iwould go, it's not that hard. It
just but you know thatjustification, that gaslighting,
you should do this. You've got agreat job. People. People retire

(12:10):
from these jobs. They teach for40 years. What are you doing?
This is someone else's dream.This is your dream. This was
your dream at one point. And atsome point, I realized that all
of these signs were signs that Iwas out of alignment. It didn't
mean that it was wrong. Itdidn't mean that I made a bad
choice. It just meant that, now,currently, presently, I was out
of alignment and that it wasstarting to affect me physically

(12:33):
and mentally. And it came downto is, am I going to sit here
and possibly lose my mind and mymental health for this job.
That's not that bad. Or am Igoing to choose myself? And I
had the privilege of being ableto do that because I'm single
and I don't have kids, and Ihad, you know, made some choices

(12:56):
financially that meant that Iwouldn't be, you know, on the
street as soon as I quit, butthat's really what it came down
to. And one of my friends, whenI was telling her about it, she
was like, why don't you justquit? Because it didn't actually
occur to me in the beginning.And I was like, What do you mean
quit? How can I do that? Andthat just opened the door to
being able to dream. And Irealized, yeah, I need to stop

(13:18):
trying to make myself fit intothis box. I need to stop trying
to find the most comfortablecorner and realize that this is
actually not a box that I'msupposed to be in anymore.

Angela Harris (13:28):
You created your own box in your own corner.

Asha Wilkerson (13:32):
Absolutely. Yeah.

Angela Harris (13:35):
I want to switch gears and talk about your
coaching practice, and I knowyou focus on neuro coaching. Can
you tell us what that entails?

Asha Wilkerson (13:42):
Yeah, so I was trained under a psychologist, Dr
Shannon Irvin, who has created aneuro searching, neuro coaching
certification, which means thatwe have really studied how the
brain works. So anytime that werepeat a thought or repeat a
pattern of behavior, there's aneural pathway, which is like a
Information Superhighway that'sformed, and our brains are

(14:04):
constantly trying to saveenergy, so it puts things on
autopilot. So if you think aboutyour morning routine, what do I
do? I wash my face, brush myteeth and comb my hair in that
order, and I don't even thinkabout it. Sometimes I don't even
realize that I'm doing itbecause it's just on autopilot,
because that's a neural pathwaythat I formed. So when you're
trying to start a new habit ormake a change break an old

(14:26):
habit, oftentimes it'schallenging, because you have to
rewire those neural pathwaysthat have been in place to keep
you safe, to be help you useyour energy effectively, things
like that. And so we learned inthe coaching certification how
to change those neural pathwaysand wire new ones. We've

(14:47):
probably all been in situationswhere we've gone to, I don't
know, a concert, or heard asermon, or gone to a
motivational speaker, and you'relike, Yeah, I'm going to do it.
I'm going to make the changes.It's it. You're motivated. And
then. Days later, you're feelingexactly how you were when you
first started or before you wentto the event. And that's because
the it's it's not the motivationthat does it you have to

(15:09):
actually cut that neuralpathway, that information
superhighway, and create a newone to get to the result that
you want. So it's getting brainbased results for real change.

Angela Harris (15:22):
And how long does it take to, I guess, rewire your
brain?

Asha Wilkerson (15:26):
You know, it depends on how strong that
neural pathway is, but And itdepends on what it is that
you're trying to rewire. So ifyou're trying to start a new
habit, linking it to a movementor to a reward system, can be,
can be quick in terms of gettingresults, but then there's some
things like really deep wounds,like money trauma, or like love

(15:49):
trauma, or, you know, somethingthat happens in our formative
years, where it takes, it takesa little while, to try and
rewire those thoughts. And itdoesn't necessarily mean that
you're going to be completelyhealed from those things, but it
means that when the triggercomes up, you can catch yourself
and choose a different thoughtto get a different result.

Angela Harris (16:10):
Okay, well, I know you help women move past
some of those societalexpectations. What are some of
the current trends that you seewithin your coaching practice?
Yeah,

Asha Wilkerson (16:20):
a lot of people, especially in the millennial
generation, are fed up and don'tbelieve in the American dream
anymore, at least not in thetraditional American dream. And
a lot of us have gone to school,have student loan debt, have
done all the right things thatthe baby boomers told us to do,
and are not feeling the rewards,or not experiencing the rewards.

(16:43):
And so a lot of people arestuck. A lot of people feel
mentally stuck. What else wouldI do? Or they have kids at this
point, and they're trying tofigure out, well, what? How
could I educate themdifferently? Because the skills
that I learned, I think, aren'tas relevant today, or they need
additional skills. There's alsoa lot of rewiring that's
happening with relationshipswith parents. There's, there's,

(17:04):
there's quite a few peopleactually, who have come to talk
about challenging relationshipsthat they have with their
parents. So the the common themeis that they feel sort of stuck,
or they want to change thepresent situation, and they're
not exactly sure what the finaldestination is that they're

(17:25):
looking for, but they know thatthis present moment is no longer
comfortable. So they come andask, okay, well, this is what I
don't like, what what else isout there, and that's what I
help them walk through.

Angela Harris (17:38):
And I know you're also a Reiki practitioner. And
for those who are not familiarwith Reiki, can you tell us what
that is? Yeah,

Asha Wilkerson (17:45):
Reiki comes from a Japanese tradition, and it's
really an energy healingtradition, tradition and energy
in you know, if you rememberback to physics class and
quantum physics, energy canneither be created nor
destroyed. It's just changed andtransmuted. So as as a
practitioner, then I become achannel for this energy, and I'm
able to amplify the energy thatI'm sending to my clients. And

(18:09):
so it could be anything when,when I do my healing sessions on
if someone asks me for somethingspecific, then I'll focus on
that. But what I'll do, I have asome intuition as well, and so I
will just kind of scan and get afeel for what's going on with
the person, and I often feel itin my body. So today, I just
finished a Reiki session beforewe jumped on and I felt it in my

(18:30):
solar plexus, right under my ribcage, is in my diaphragm, and
that's often the area ofconfidence and like, the ability
to move forward and courage. AndI just felt like for the group,
it had this energy of thisdesire to move forward, but
something was holding them back.And then the energy moved up
into my heart, and the messagethat I downloaded was, you know,

(18:51):
it's okay to move forward and doit with your heart, do it with
love, and do it with the energythat supports you, and not out
of a place of like anger orforce, but out of a place of
knowing that love is the wayyou're supposed to move through
this situation and move forward.And half the time, I'm like, I
don't know if that like, that'swhat I felt that I have no idea.

(19:12):
But at the end of every session,people like, oh, that totally
resonates. Thank you. I reallyappreciate it. And people will
say that they feel relaxed andfeel more energy. And it can
last for a couple of days aftera session.

Angela Harris (19:24):
Now, do you do these sessions in person or
virtually?

Asha Wilkerson (19:27):
I do them virtually. Okay, okay.

Angela Harris (19:30):
And I heard you say, you tap into your
intuition, I guess, like, howdid you become more in tune with
that? Yeah,

Asha Wilkerson (19:35):
practice for me when I was a kid. I think I was
intuitive as a kid, but I wasconditioned out of listening to
that intuition. There would besituations where I would just
kind of know things, you know,and they had to do a lot with my
dad and like, that's not whatyou that's not what I said, or
that's not what happened, youknow. And so I learned to

(19:56):
distrust my intuition, and.During the pandemic, I really
wanted to rebuild that muscle.My mom was really intuitive, and
so I had always been exposed tothat world, but she had also
kind of turned it off, becauseshe said, as a kid, she'd say
stuff, and people would thinkthat she was weird, you know,
they didn't, they didn'tunderstand. And so she just
figured it was better to keep itto herself. So we took a class

(20:20):
together on developing ourintuition, and hers was strong,
but she would still question.And I was like, I want this gift
so bad, and I don't, I don'tknow what's going on. So it took
practice. It took learning, theeducation of what is it? How are
the different ways that you canfeel it? And then it took
rebuilding the connection withmy body and self trust, because

(20:43):
I would know things, and then Iwould doubt, is that just me? Is
it because I've had a similarexperience? Am I just making it
up and then finally, just got toa point where it's like, just
going to throw it out there andsee if it resonates. And people
like, Yeah, that's exactly I'mlike, it is, you know? So if
you're interested in it, I wouldsay, you know, do some reading,

(21:03):
take a class, get some educationaround it, and then just start
practicing.

Angela Harris (21:08):
Yeah, that's some that's amazing. Well, I've tried
Reiki and also chakra balancing,and I'm a huge fan, and I know
some people in our community maybe skeptical, because they like,
I don't want people laying handson me. Woo, woo. So what's the
biggest myth people haveregarding Reiki that she wanted
to spell,

Asha Wilkerson (21:25):
yeah. So, I mean, I grew up in the church. I
grew up in different churches,from Catholic Church to black
church, with Pentecostal roots,but not quite Pentecostal when I
was in law school and as a as ayoung adult. And really, if you
look at it, it a lot of it isthe same I was just saying to
someone last night. If you go upto the altar and allow someone

(21:48):
to put their hands on you inprayer, that's not that
different than going to a Reikipractitioner and allowing them
to put their hands on you toconduct some energy to you know,
to remove the feeling or to callin what you want right
manifestation and thinking aboutwhat you want and bringing these
things into your life is thesame thing as going to your

(22:10):
needs at night in prayer. It'sjust put into us in a different
context, and particularly forpeople of color. I want us to
realize how much religion hasdisconnected us from our bodies
and how much it has controlledour behavior, and there is a

(22:30):
movement of particularly AfricanAmerican women, and I think men
too, of looking to reconnectwith our ancestral traditions
and our ancestral roots, becausethere is no gatekeeping. There
should not be any gatekeeping inthe energetic world. And so that
was one of the things thatalways bothered me about the
Catholic Church, like, why do Ineed to talk to the priest to

(22:51):
get to God, right? Why couldn'tI just have my own relationship?
And that for me and what I'vestudied in the energetic and
spiritual world, it isaccessible to everybody, and
there's no right or wrong way todo it or to get to it, but it is
really the belief that you are apart of the greatest power, and
the greatest power is a part ofyou, and so everybody has access

(23:13):
to it. You just have to reawakenyour receptors to recognize what
it is.

Angela Harris (23:20):
So how can someone utilize Reiki if they're
on a healing journey? Yeah,

Asha Wilkerson (23:26):
um, Reiki has really calming effects for
people. Some some practitionersare intuitive readers as well.
So some will just give you theenergy, and you might feel
something right in the moment,or maybe you'll feel it a little
bit later, and it'll help bringup your mood or calm you bring
you back down, depending on whatyou need. And other people will
add an intuitive reading to it.So if you're wondering what's

(23:48):
going on, or just want someoneto help you make sense of the
present moment and the energythat's happening, they can give
you an intuitive reading aswell. I would say I've explored
a lot of different modalitiesfrom acupuncture, which you know
different, but acupuncture,Reiki, tarot cards. And I would
just say, just explore, explore.Find somebody that you trust and

(24:08):
see what resonates with you. Ithink for as many languages as
are spoken in this world, thereare as many ways to connect to
your divinity and the higherpower that's out there, so be
curious about it. Yeah. Now,

Angela Harris (24:20):
like you said, it's important to find somebody
that you trust

Asha Wilkerson (24:24):
Absolutely, yeah? Because I should say that
too. Not everybody, noteverybody, has the best of
intentions, but there are a lotof people who have really good
intentions and who know whatthey're doing,

Angela Harris (24:34):
yeah, yeah. Comfort is important. Like you
said, we all have our, you know,intuition. So if that person's
energy feels off. That might notbe the best practitioner.

Asha Wilkerson (24:44):
Absolutely, absolutely.

Angela Harris (24:47):
Well, I know you like to travel, and you visited
over 30 countries, and nowyou're hosting retreats. Tell us
about some of the retreatlocations and what attendees can
expect. Yeah,

Asha Wilkerson (24:57):
so the upcoming retreat I have, I'm not sure if
it will. Be over by the timethat this airs, but I do a black
women's retreat in Ghana. It isa homecoming retreat in every
sense of the word. So homecomingto the continent of Africa, to
Ghana in particular, but alsohomecoming to yourself,
returning home to yourself,returning home to your

(25:19):
intuition, returning home toyour spiritual body, your
emotional body, it is truly abreak in an opportunity for
women of the African diaspora tocome home to themselves. So this
looks like a week in Ghana whereinitially we will go through a
naming ceremony at this rivercalled or this place called a

(25:40):
scene month. So and the riverhas been known as the last bath.
It was the last bath whereenslaved Africans were washed
before they were March 17 milesto the slave dungeons. And the
local folks have reclaimed it,because you go into the water,
you connect with your ancestors,you it's a moving, spiritual
experience, and then you turnaround, and written on the arch

(26:02):
is the first bath of return. Soit is a symbolic gesture of our
ancestors left and now we arehome. And the first time I went,
someone explained. He was like,Yeah, you guys are welcome.
Here. You are. Your ancestorsreturned. I was like, Oh, that's
cute. You know, they want us tocome. He's like, No, really.
People here didn't understandwhat was happening, or that we

(26:25):
would never see our familymembers again. And we have
prayed for centuries for yourreturn, and now that you as a
part of the Diaspora have comeback to Africa, you are your
ancestors. You are ourancestors. Return. I said, whoo.
It's like, okay, I get it right.It's symbolic for us, but it's

(26:45):
also symbolic for the people whodidn't, you know, traverse the
Atlantic as well. So after that,we will go to the coast, to a
beach resort, where we willspend time in meditation. We
doing yoga, yin yoga, inparticular daily movements.
We'll have workshops Reikihealing, sound healing as a

(27:05):
place to be able to pour intoyourself and to reconnect with
your wants and desires and tomove forward removing any of the
blocks that are standing in yourway immediately. So it's not a
tour where we go and see all ofthe catastrophic sites. There
are opportunities for that, butwe do that all the time. As
black people, we're exposed tothe challenges all the time, and

(27:29):
my goal is to really help usconnect and return to who we
are. And we need those safespaces. We need to be around
people who look like us, whounderstand us and move like us,
and to be around people who arehealers, genuinely healers, and
have the talent to be able towalk us through that process of

(27:50):
reconnecting with ourselves inevery sense of the word. Well,
first

Angela Harris (27:54):
of all, everything that you described
about that retreat soundsamazing, and I was just getting
chills as you were describingsome of the ceremonies. Can you
tell me more about the namingceremony? Yeah,

Asha Wilkerson (28:05):
absolutely. Thank you for asking that. So
each tribe in Ghana and inAfrica in general, I'm assuming,
but particularly in Ghana, hastheir own way of naming
children. And in Ghana, if achild comes home, even if the
father, let's say, Never knewthat they had fathered this
child, as soon as the childcomes home, they are named

(28:27):
because they are welcomed intothe community. So the community
right around the river inparticular is wanting to welcome
us home and because we arechildren of the diaspora, even
though we may not know exactlywho our ancestors were or if
they came directly from Ghana,they want to welcome us home,

(28:48):
and symbolically, they do thatby giving us an African name, a
Ghanaian name, and inparticular, a name from the Akan
tribe. That's the tribe that wewill be welcomed into and the
name that we will receive. Sothere's a process the person or
the council that does the namingalso has these like intuitive
powers, and so they choose aname before they have met you.

(29:11):
But I have never seen the namefail. For all the people that I
witnessed who got a name, it waslike, dang. How did they know?
You know, just divinelyappointed. So it is. It is
amazing to be welcomed in thatway and to have that connection.
And you know, when you when youhave a name in Ghana, if you're

(29:34):
born in Ghana, you tell someoneyour name, they know exactly
what family you've come from,what tribe you've come from,
what clan you belong to, whatarea of the country you belong
to, and the history one of theone of my friends in Ghana, we
went to his family's home. Hishome had been there for 500
years before the slave trade.His family had been in that

(29:54):
exact same spot. And that isjust so powerful to know that
those. Those roots go so deepthat they had been able to trace
it back 500 years. And for a lotof us in the diaspora, we're
like adopted children lookingfor our parents. We don't really
know where we come from. We'veheard some things and not
necessarily that, right? Andwe're looking to reconnect. And
so when you when you're aroundpeople who have that long of a

(30:17):
history, it helps to reorienthow you see yourself. For me in
particular, it also gave me thecourage to resign for my full
time job, because I thought,man, people have as as diaspora
folks, our history often startswith the slave trade. It starts
with the worst part of ourexperience in history. And we

(30:38):
have to go deeper to know thatthere was history in Africa
before the slave trade, and weknow that conceptually. But if
you haven't been around it, youdon't feel it in your body. But
when you get to be around peoplewho know who they are, who speak
their native or indigenouslanguage, who have traditions
that have carried on forcenturies, who can trace their

(30:58):
roots back five and 600 years,it gives you a different sense
of identity. And for me, thechange that happened was I have
nothing left to prove to y'all,because my people already did
it. This, this thing right hereis an interruption in my
history. It is not my history.So let me get off of this train

(31:18):
of, you know, colonization andwhite supremacy and trying to
prove myself that I'm goodenough and that I, you know,
representing all black people inthe courtroom, in the law firm,
in the school, right? It justallowed me to shake that
expectation and to really stepinto and pursue my own freedom,
and that has also allowed me tohelp other people get free as

(31:41):
well.

Angela Harris (31:44):
So how long have you been doing these retreats,
and have they always been inGhana? This

Asha Wilkerson (31:49):
is my third year doing the retreats, and they
have always been in Ghana. Yeah,I haven't expanded out to other
places yet, but I will. I amworking on that as well.

Angela Harris (31:59):
Honestly, asking what you're hearing like. It
sounds like Ghana is the perfectplace for the work that you're
doing. Absolutely,

Asha Wilkerson (32:05):
absolutely

Angela Harris (32:08):
well. Before we wrap up, I do have one final
question I want to ask you, whatdo you do to recharge when you
aren't fearlessly leading?

Asha Wilkerson (32:17):
Yes, I love to read. I read a lot, and
sometimes it's informational,but a lot of times it's like
adventures and like romanticbooks. And you know, anything
that can get my mind away fromwhat it is that I'm doing on a
daily basis. And travel is alsoreally a big way for me to

(32:38):
recharge, because it allows meto step out of my daily routine,
to meet new people, to see howpeople are doing life
differently. It allows me toreflect and see, okay, what do I
want to keep doing and maybe,what do I want to take from this
place that I'm visiting here andbring back home with me?

Angela Harris (32:55):
Well, speaking of travel with you, having traveled
to over 30 countries, what'sbeen your most memorable
destination?

Asha Wilkerson (33:03):
Yeah, I would say one of my favorite
destinations is Cuba. That's theplace that I have visited the
most frequently, and I fullyrecognize that I enjoy Cuba with
my American privilege, with myability to leave and with the US
dollars that I bring in. ButCuba is so special in terms of
being able to connect to people,to listen to live music on every

(33:24):
other street corner, and justthe energy on the land and of
the people is absolutelyincredible. Uh, another favorite
movie, movie memory I have. Ishould make a movie. Yeah,
exactly. Is going on safari inKenya. I went twice. I went with
a coworker of mine, and then acouple years later, I went with

(33:46):
my cousin, and just to be outthere in the middle of the land
and to see these animals that Ihad looked at on the nature
channel, you know, as a kid, andto realize, also, there are
moments when you realize howsmall you are in this world, but
then also how interconnected weare to the world. And so being

(34:07):
on the Safari, seeing theseanimals that are untouched by
humans and living in their ownecosystem, just gave me a
perspective that, you know,we're not necessarily the most
important beings on this planet,but also we can work in harmony.
And you know, we all have aplace and a purpose on this
planet as well.

Angela Harris (34:29):
Well. Asha, I just love your energy and your
spirit, and thank you so muchfor being here and sharing your
journey along with the work thatyou're doing to help other women
heal. Thank

Asha Wilkerson (34:38):
you. Thank you. Thank you for inviting me to be
a guest. I'm so excited to behere. Thank you for your
questions and for the time thatyou gave me

Angela Harris (34:45):
today. How can our listeners stay connected
with you?

Unknown (34:48):
Absolutely so my website is Asha wilkerson.com
right when you get on, you'llsee a place to add your email
address if you want to stayconnected and on my mailing
list, and then I play around alittle bit on. Instagram. So my
handle is ashawilkersonesq onInstagram, okay,

Angela Harris (35:05):
and I'll make sure I include all that
information in our show notes.Perfect. Thank you. Okay, and to
our listeners, thank you so muchfor tuning in today until next
time. Take care. You. Steve,thank you for listening to the
flow podcast. As we wrap uptoday's episode, always remember

(35:31):
your unique path, your voice andyour leadership matter. If you
loved what you heard, subscribenow to stay updated on our
latest episodes. Take a momentto leave a review and share this
episode with someone who canbenefit from these
conversations. You can stayconnected with me on Instagram

(35:52):
at the flow podcast with Angela,or visit me on the web at
angelavharris.com Until nexttime, take care, stay inspired
and keep fearlessly leading inyour own way.

Unknown (36:16):
You.