January 8, 2025 • 16 mins
In episode 21 I’m taking you inside Blood in My Mouth, my latest book, and walking you through the journey it unfolds without giving too much away. This book isn’t just poetry. It’s a transformation. A reckoning. A blueprint for breaking silence, speaking truth, and reclaiming power.
Alongside it, I’m introducing Bricks for Sale, a sculptural art collection that visually manifests the themes of the book. These pieces hold weight literally and figuratively. They capture what it means to suppress, to shatter, to bleed, and to finally stand in the fullness of your voice.
I’ll only be reading the opening poem because the rest is for you to interpret in your own voice, your own cadence, your own truth.
If you’ve ever held something in for too long, if you know what it means to wrestle with silence, if you’re ready to confront what’s been buried this episode is for you.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:13):
Let's roll up, it's a new high. 2 00:00:15,660.1 --> 00:00:17,340 Good laughs and some good vibes.
It's a safe space to talk about all the dope things that's on our mind.
From world travel to philosophies, we stay stylish, come and rock with me.
It's a good time, we got the sauce to make champagne, which is reality.
We do it for the culture, gotta show them what we can be.
This is the high life. 8 00:00:50,234.999 --> 00:00:51,525 There is something about the truth.
(00:51):
Once it's spoken, once it's let out, it changes everything. 10 00:00:54,724.999 --> 00:00:57,544.999 The air, the body, the way the world perceives you.
It alters what was contained and after it's released, nothing remains the same.
Hey guys, I know that's not my normal intro, but I kind of wanted to set the tone for today's episode.
Now that I've done that, I'm going to do our original episode.
(01:13):
Welcome to another episode of the Hood Debutante podcast with Me, your host London Bambi and today's episode is titled blood in my mouth And it is the name of my latest book the poetry book.
I told you guys about last week episode Which was the prequel to this episode now that book is not just about poetry But to me, it's a transformation a book that moves through silence breaking bleeding and finally freedom I will begin this episode by reading the opening poem of Blood in My Mouth.
(01:48):
.999Because that poem is the invocation, the threshold, the first crack in the foundation of everything that follows.
But after, I will not be reading any more poems from this book.
And that is intentional. 19 00:02:00,289.999 --> 00:02:03,410 Because truth does not solely belong to the one who speaks it.
It belongs to the one who receives it.
This book was written to be read in a voice that is uniquely yours.
(02:08):
The cadence, the rhythm, the interpretation, it all belongs to you.
I don't want to dictate how you hear these words.
I don't want to define how they live inside of you because when you speak truth, it becomes universal.
So after I read this poem, I will step back and let the rest of the book be yours to interpret.
After the reading, we'll walk through the journey of this book through its four sections, the silence, the break, the blood, and the mouth.
(02:35):
And alongside this book, I'll be talking about Bricks for Sales, which is the sculpture series that visually manifests this journey, because blood in my mouth is not just words on a page. 28 00:02:46,69.999 --> 00:02:50,150 It's something you feel, something you hold, and something that has weight.
Now let's begin.
All right, let me get myself together.
I'm gonna drink some water.
(03:01):
Okay.
I haven't read one of my poems in years.
So, I'm a little nervous, but you know, you guys are my friends, so here we go.
The name of this poem is titled Blood in My Mouth.
.999It's the opening poem of the book that leads to the four sections. 37 00:03:21,739.999 --> 00:03:23,99.9 Alright, here we go.
(03:23):
There's a sting on my tongue, a taste I've known for years.
Coppery, sharp, the weight of words I dare not speak.
I swallow them whole, keep their jagged edges hidden beneath my breath.
But silence have a way of cutting deeper than any truth.
What is a voice if not a blade? A weapon carved from flesh? To speak is to bleed, but to hold back is to drown in red tides unseen.
(03:46):
The truth does not ask for mercy, it lives in the mouth.
Bitter and relentless until we spit it out or choke on its fury.
That is the opening poem again, and it's titled Blood in My Mouth, and that poem, I felt, just sets the tone for the whole book. 46 00:04:06,119.999 --> 00:04:10,770 So, now that I got that poem out the way, we can jump into the silence section. 47 00:04:10,789.999 --> 00:04:18,150 So, the silence section, I want us to take a minute to think about the word silence before we fully, fully, like, dive in.
(04:19):
What does it mean to you? Think about it universally, think about it personally.
For me, I think silence is often mistaken for peace.
.999But the kind of silence I'm talking about in this book, the kind that this section explores, is not peace.
It's suffocation.
.999It's control. 53 00:04:34,934.999 --> 00:04:36,294.999 And it's learned obedience.
The silence is about the years spent swallowing your truth before you even realize you were doing it.
(04:42):
It's about conditioning.
How the world teaches you from an early age which words are acceptable and which one can cause something. 57 00:04:50,464.999 --> 00:04:57,524.999 It's about the way silence can be a cage, how it can trap the voice inside of you before you even know what it is.
Now, the sculpture that represents the silent capture is suffocation in a physical form.
(05:04):
If you have the book, please look at the picture as I'm explaining it.
You don't have the book, I hope you have a vivid imagination.
Go look at the cover of the book because the bricks are all kind of sculpted in that style and as describe it you should be able to follow along If not, I will be releasing pictures of the sculptures But the sculptures are actually a separate project on its own Although it goes hand in hand with the book.
(05:32):
There will be a full collection reveal of all the sculptures together coming in the future.
.999So for now, I'm only showing the pictures of the sculptures in a book. 64 00:05:43,269.999 --> 00:05:51,939.999 I have shown some snippets of some of the sculptures on my stories, but I'm pretty sure some of you that are listening has missed that. 65 00:05:52,279.999 --> 00:06:14,415 If you don't You want to get the book, no pressure, and you just want to, you know, focus or wait on the sculptures to come out, just give me time because there is some back of house work I need to do because the sculptures are not just being released at some type of small art project, I'm really pushing up, putting a lot of energy behind this, because this is something I believe in, so, I just wanted to say that before I started talking about this sculpture.
(06:14):
Alright, so if you look at this sculpture for the silence, the mouth is sewn shut with red thread.
And this is important.
The red thread is not just thread, it is blood.
The very thing that gives us life, the very essence of what keeps us alive is being used here to keep the mouth closed.
Because silence is not passive, it is active.
(06:35):
It takes energy to suppress yourself.
It takes effort to hold back what wants to escape.
This sculpture, like the poems in this section, is about the burdens, about the cost of keeping a mouth closed, of biting down on your own tongue so hard that it bleed. 74 00:06:52,9.999 --> 00:06:54,490 But silence is never eternal.
It always is on the edge of breaking.
(06:56):
So I began to think about, silence once I finished this sculpture and was moving on into the next section of this book, the break.
I said, okay, if silence is representing suppression, Then the break must be the rebellion and it is not quiet.
It is not controlled.
It is messy It is jagged and it is desperate and I wanted that to contrast the actual poems in this section because the poems in a break section Comes from a different POV about firstly speaking your truth.
(07:27):
It comes from a more vulnerable POV where the sculpture I feel like comes from kind of a violent You know, messy.
Okay, let me explain the sculpture, again, you have to get the book to kind of understand what I'm talking about. 82 00:07:44,404.999 --> 00:07:54,104.999 But again, so, um, this section of the book, I feel like, is about what happens when silence can no longer contain the truth.
(07:54):
When the words that have been locked away finally force themselves out, even if they come out, it screams.
The sculpture, The Break, embodies this perfectly, in my opinion.
If you look at it, the mouth is no longer shut, but it is open.
It is not smooth. 87 00:08:08,899.999 --> 00:08:10,690 It is torn, fractured. 88 00:08:11,459.999 --> 00:08:17,170 Violence looks like it's just spewing out, and inside the mouth, there's something sharp, something dangerous.
(08:17):
Look closely at the mouth for those of you who have pictured.
The red stained glass emerging from the mouth in this sculpture is shaped like a serpent's tongue.
This is important because truth, when it first escapes, does not always come out clean.
Sometimes it comes out as rage, sometimes it lashes, sometimes it bites, sometimes it strikes.
The serpent's tongue is the embodiment of that.
(08:40):
It is the tongue, of truth that is both a weapon and a warning.
The break is the section where the voice is no longer afraid, but it is still learning what to do with its power.
And sometimes in the beginning, the only way to speak is to spit fire.
So take a moment to take all of that in, again. 98 00:09:02,630.001 --> 00:09:04,110.001 Look at the sculpture if you have it. 99 00:09:04,180.001 --> 00:09:10,670.001 If you don't, please go look at the cover of the book and imagine the mouth on that differently as I just explained. 100 00:09:11,220.001 --> 00:09:17,490.002 So now we're heading into chapter three of the book or section three of the book, which is titled the blood. 101 00:09:17,550.002 --> 00:09:26,950.002 So I was thinking to myself as I was creating this sculpture, if Silence represents suppression, and the break represents the rebellion. 102 00:09:27,420.002 --> 00:09:29,870.002 Then the blood means here comes the reckoning. 103 00:09:29,960.002 --> 00:09:35,590.002 Now, the blood is the section where the voice is fully formed, where it is no longer fighting to be heard. 104 00:09:35,800.001 --> 00:09:42,40.002 It simply is, but this section also acknowledges something truth has a cost. 105 00:09:42,460.002 --> 00:09:45,480.002 Speaking freely does not always come without consequences. 106 00:09:45,490.002 --> 00:09:48,720.002 Sometimes it wounds, sometimes it stains. 107 00:09:49,30.002 --> 00:09:51,800.001 In a sculpture, the blood captures this reality. 108 00:09:52,120.002 --> 00:09:54,720.002 The mouth is not just open, it is spilling. 109 00:09:55,30.002 --> 00:09:56,930.002 The red in this piece is layered. 110 00:09:57,0.001 --> 00:10:04,90.002 There is a red cotton like fabric, soft but tangled, because even as the truth is spoken, it is not always easily unraveled. 111 00:10:04,400.002 --> 00:10:08,770.002 There are red dreams dripping from the mouth, because there is value in truth. 112 00:10:08,915.002 --> 00:10:11,125.002 But the value is often paid in blood. 113 00:10:11,485.002 --> 00:10:21,135.002 The sculpture, like this section of the book, is about the weight of honesty, about the wounds that come when a person finally start using their voice after years of suppression. 114 00:10:21,415.002 --> 00:10:29,185.002 But it is also about resilience because even though the mouth is bleeding, it is still open and it will never close again. 115 00:10:30,155.002 --> 00:10:37,735.002 Now, this leads us to the final section, which is, or I should call them chapters because that's what they are. 116 00:10:38,35.002 --> 00:10:41,980.002 Chapter Is this chapter four? I believe this is chapter four. 117 00:10:42,310.002 --> 00:10:45,480.002 I'm just going to keep calling them sections, not to confuse. 118 00:10:46,100.002 --> 00:10:48,840.002 and this is like the, this is the final section. 119 00:10:49,40.001 --> 00:10:53,80.001 So, in this section, this is where everything comes full circle.
(10:53):
.001And this section is called the mouth. 121 00:10:55,0.001 --> 00:10:58,590.001 This is what silence, breaking, and bleeding turn into power. 122 00:10:58,605.101 --> 00:11:03,205.001 In the mouth section, the voice is no longer just free. 123 00:11:03,235.001 --> 00:11:06,655.001 It is intentional, it is unapologetic, and it is refined. 124 00:11:06,945.001 --> 00:11:09,795.001 In a sculpture, the mouth mirrors this perfectly.
.001Look at it. 126 00:11:11,635.001 --> 00:11:14,475.0005 For those of you who have the book, again, look at it. 127 00:11:14,475.0005 --> 00:11:17,725 And for those of you who don't, please, I hope you have a good imagination. 128 00:11:18,155.001 --> 00:11:19,315.001 The mouth is clean. 129 00:11:19,335.001 --> 00:11:23,785.001 No more blood, no more jagged edges, no more tangled threads. 130 00:11:24,40.001 --> 00:11:30,850.001 The teeth gleam with different colored gems because now the voice is not just for survival, it is adornment. 131 00:11:31,20.001 --> 00:11:32,630.001 It is something to be celebrated.
(11:32):
.001This is the final evolution.
.001The moment where the voice is fully reclaimed. 134 00:11:37,490.001 --> 00:11:41,240.001 The moment where there is no more hesitation, no more questioning. 135 00:11:41,400.001 --> 00:11:46,650.001 The moment where the speaker knows their voice is theirs and no one can take it from them. 136 00:11:46,880.001 --> 00:11:48,660.001 And this is where the books leave you. 137 00:11:48,680.001 --> 00:11:53,700.001 Not in silence, not in breaking, not in bleeding, but in ownership. 138 00:11:55,60.101 --> 00:11:57,310.101 I will say there is one more sculpture. 139 00:11:57,320.101 --> 00:11:59,770.101 So, for now, everyone can see this one. 140 00:11:59,840.101 --> 00:12:01,620.1 The sculpture on the cover of the book. 141 00:12:01,620.101 --> 00:12:12,240.101 So, if you haven't seen the sculpture on the cover of the book, go to my Instagram page, at London Bambi, or at Black Balloon, or at The Hood debutante. 142 00:12:13,760.101 --> 00:12:18,730.101 Or, go to my website, as a matter of fact, go to my website, blackballoon70. 143 00:12:18,750.101 --> 00:12:25,880.101 com and look at the cover of the book, purchase it while you're there, um, but if not, just look at the cover of the book. 144 00:12:26,680.101 --> 00:12:31,160.101 The original Blood in My Mouth, again, the cover of the book, no longer looks the same. 145 00:12:31,170.101 --> 00:12:38,560.101 Because there, because once the truth changes things, once it's been spoken, there is no going back to what was before. 146 00:12:38,830.101 --> 00:12:41,900.1 And that is the ultimate lesson of this book, of these sculptures. 147 00:12:42,220.101 --> 00:12:43,540.101 Of this entire process. 148 00:12:43,540.101 --> 00:12:47,770.101 Once you find your voice, once you let the truth out, nothing remains the same. 149 00:12:48,40.101 --> 00:12:50,170.101 And that is exactly how I feel it should be. 150 00:12:50,170.101 --> 00:12:56,140.101 So when you look at this sculpture at the end of the book, it looks similar to the sculpture at the beginning of the book. 151 00:12:56,140.101 --> 00:13:01,450.101 Now, I'm gonna let you know right now the sculpture at the beginning of the book no longer exists because. 152 00:13:01,665.101 --> 00:13:18,15.1 After creating the other sculptures, after going through my poetry and editing it over and over again, figuring out which ones from years ago I should place in, which ones from recently will merge with of the whole theme of the book, I realized the truth has changed. 153 00:13:18,25.101 --> 00:13:20,405.101 It really has changed me as a person. 154 00:13:20,715.1 --> 00:13:37,35.1 And the sculpture at the beginning of the book should not be the same sculpture at the end of the book, Especially after it went through this journey, sort of like the tarot card, how it starts out with the fool, the card zero, and it goes all the way down the major arcana and the person is changed. 155 00:13:37,35.1 --> 00:13:38,635.1 They become fully aware. 156 00:13:38,635.101 --> 00:13:40,445.101 They become the world, that card. 157 00:13:40,465.101 --> 00:13:42,625.101 So it kind of follows that same process. 158 00:13:42,895.101 --> 00:13:46,505.101 So the, it's called the last sculpture, which again, you have to have the book. 159 00:13:47,215.101 --> 00:13:54,135.101 To actually see it's similar and there are some minor changes, but there are intentional major changes. 160 00:13:54,135.101 --> 00:14:03,25.1 And I'm going to save that for you guys to look at, to interpret and to actually figure that out for yourself because I want you to get the book. 161 00:14:03,85.1 --> 00:14:03,695.1 Okay. 162 00:14:04,545.101 --> 00:14:05,255.101 All right, my guys. 163 00:14:05,295.101 --> 00:14:09,815.101 So blood in my mouth is out now on black balloon, 70. 164 00:14:09,845.101 --> 00:14:11,855.101 com the art project. 165 00:14:12,195.101 --> 00:14:14,255.101 In my art collection, I should say. 166 00:14:14,265.101 --> 00:14:15,385.101 Bricks for sale. 167 00:14:16,5.101 --> 00:14:19,435.101 You will be able to see that in the future, the full collection. 168 00:14:19,445.101 --> 00:14:24,355.1 But, as of now, if you have the book, get the book, you will see the full collection in the book. 169 00:14:24,365.101 --> 00:14:29,255.1 And these will, this is, this pretty much is the, I would say the legacy collection. 170 00:14:29,255.101 --> 00:14:30,500.001 This is the, the legacy collection. 171 00:14:30,500.101 --> 00:14:33,540.101 Top tier collection of bricks for sale. 172 00:14:33,600.101 --> 00:14:35,430.101 There are other things coming with that. 173 00:14:35,440.101 --> 00:14:39,810.101 Again, that's why I'm not releasing it now because that is a whole nother project. 174 00:14:39,850.101 --> 00:14:43,900.101 And I believe both of these projects that I'm putting out are my babies. 175 00:14:43,930.101 --> 00:14:46,100.101 and thank you guys for actually listening to me. 176 00:14:46,120.101 --> 00:14:54,710.1 I really appreciate you guys for giving me the space and opportunity to speak with you and to share my projects and my point of view. 177 00:14:54,760.101 --> 00:14:57,940.1 I get that I'm not for everybody, but I'm a very niche person. 178 00:14:58,280.101 --> 00:15:00,100.101 And I, I'm okay with that. 179 00:15:00,150.101 --> 00:15:01,260.101 I really am okay with that. 180 00:15:01,260.101 --> 00:15:04,640.102 I also want to welcome my new followers. 181 00:15:04,715.102 --> 00:15:15,305.102 My new subscribers because over the past week since releasing my first episode, I've gotten a lot of new subscribers and I really, really want to let you know, thank you. 182 00:15:15,615.102 --> 00:15:18,675.101 Welcome here to the whole London Bambi world. 183 00:15:19,250.102 --> 00:15:26,10.102 The art over here may not be traditionally what you're used to seeing, but the art I create is uniquely me. 184 00:15:26,70.102 --> 00:15:27,640.102 I am a multimedia artist. 185 00:15:27,680.102 --> 00:15:33,340.1025 You never know what you're going to get from me, but the one thing you will be is entertained. 186 00:15:33,370.1025 --> 00:15:33,760.1025 Okay. 187 00:15:33,800.1025 --> 00:15:38,350.1025 I think the most boring thing about all projects I have now is I hate to see. 188 00:15:39,725.1025 --> 00:15:48,515.1035 Problems the podcast it is because podcast is probably the most structured part of my projects that I'm doing Normally, I'm all over the place. 189 00:15:48,555.1035 --> 00:15:51,30.1035 But this Yeah, my word is disciplined. 190 00:15:51,30.1035 --> 00:15:56,670.1035 So I'm going to take the structure from this podcast and implement it into my other projects. 191 00:15:56,670.1035 --> 00:16:07,465.0035 And the only reason I said the most boring project I have is probably this podcast is because of how structured it is and how rigid I am and the time constraint I put myself in. 192 00:16:08,295.1035 --> 00:16:09,445.1035 to get what I got to say out. 193 00:16:09,445.1035 --> 00:16:14,155.1035 So I got to keep myself from wondering off and digressing because I can do that a lot. 194 00:16:14,555.1035 --> 00:16:21,825.1035 I'm going to speak in circles and I've noticed since I've done this podcast, my episodes have been pretty consistent and I'm loving it. 195 00:16:21,855.1035 --> 00:16:23,585.1025 I'm loving this version of me. 196 00:16:23,595.1025 --> 00:16:30,295.1025 Again, to my new followers, this is just one of many versions of me and just know the best has yet to come. 197 00:16:30,705.1025 --> 00:16:31,375.1025 All right. 198 00:16:31,490.1025 --> 00:16:34,270.1025 I'm doing that thing where I start to ramble. 199 00:16:34,270.1025 --> 00:16:37,970.1025 So I'm just going to sign off and say, I love you guys. 200 00:16:37,990.1025 --> 00:16:39,940.1015 And I will see you next week. 201 00:16:40,10.1025 --> 00:16:40,490.1025 All right. 202 00:16:40,490.2025 --> 00:16:42,310.5655 Bye.
Let's roll up, it's a new high. 2 00:00:15,660.1 --> 00:00:17,340 Good laughs and some good vibes.
It's a safe space to talk about all the dope things that's on our mind.
From world travel to philosophies, we stay stylish, come and rock with me.
It's a good time, we got the sauce to make champagne, which is reality.
We do it for the culture, gotta show them what we can be.
This is the high life. 8 00:00:50,234.999 --> 00:00:51,525 There is something about the truth.
(00:51):
Once it's spoken, once it's let out, it changes everything. 10 00:00:54,724.999 --> 00:00:57,544.999 The air, the body, the way the world perceives you.
It alters what was contained and after it's released, nothing remains the same.
Hey guys, I know that's not my normal intro, but I kind of wanted to set the tone for today's episode.
Now that I've done that, I'm going to do our original episode.
(01:13):
Welcome to another episode of the Hood Debutante podcast with Me, your host London Bambi and today's episode is titled blood in my mouth And it is the name of my latest book the poetry book.
I told you guys about last week episode Which was the prequel to this episode now that book is not just about poetry But to me, it's a transformation a book that moves through silence breaking bleeding and finally freedom I will begin this episode by reading the opening poem of Blood in My Mouth.
(01:48):
.999Because that poem is the invocation, the threshold, the first crack in the foundation of everything that follows.
But after, I will not be reading any more poems from this book.
And that is intentional. 19 00:02:00,289.999 --> 00:02:03,410 Because truth does not solely belong to the one who speaks it.
It belongs to the one who receives it.
This book was written to be read in a voice that is uniquely yours.
(02:08):
The cadence, the rhythm, the interpretation, it all belongs to you.
I don't want to dictate how you hear these words.
I don't want to define how they live inside of you because when you speak truth, it becomes universal.
So after I read this poem, I will step back and let the rest of the book be yours to interpret.
After the reading, we'll walk through the journey of this book through its four sections, the silence, the break, the blood, and the mouth.
(02:35):
And alongside this book, I'll be talking about Bricks for Sales, which is the sculpture series that visually manifests this journey, because blood in my mouth is not just words on a page. 28 00:02:46,69.999 --> 00:02:50,150 It's something you feel, something you hold, and something that has weight.
Now let's begin.
All right, let me get myself together.
I'm gonna drink some water.
(03:01):
Okay.
I haven't read one of my poems in years.
So, I'm a little nervous, but you know, you guys are my friends, so here we go.
The name of this poem is titled Blood in My Mouth.
.999It's the opening poem of the book that leads to the four sections. 37 00:03:21,739.999 --> 00:03:23,99.9 Alright, here we go.
(03:23):
There's a sting on my tongue, a taste I've known for years.
Coppery, sharp, the weight of words I dare not speak.
I swallow them whole, keep their jagged edges hidden beneath my breath.
But silence have a way of cutting deeper than any truth.
What is a voice if not a blade? A weapon carved from flesh? To speak is to bleed, but to hold back is to drown in red tides unseen.
(03:46):
The truth does not ask for mercy, it lives in the mouth.
Bitter and relentless until we spit it out or choke on its fury.
That is the opening poem again, and it's titled Blood in My Mouth, and that poem, I felt, just sets the tone for the whole book. 46 00:04:06,119.999 --> 00:04:10,770 So, now that I got that poem out the way, we can jump into the silence section. 47 00:04:10,789.999 --> 00:04:18,150 So, the silence section, I want us to take a minute to think about the word silence before we fully, fully, like, dive in.
(04:19):
What does it mean to you? Think about it universally, think about it personally.
For me, I think silence is often mistaken for peace.
.999But the kind of silence I'm talking about in this book, the kind that this section explores, is not peace.
It's suffocation.
.999It's control. 53 00:04:34,934.999 --> 00:04:36,294.999 And it's learned obedience.
The silence is about the years spent swallowing your truth before you even realize you were doing it.
(04:42):
It's about conditioning.
How the world teaches you from an early age which words are acceptable and which one can cause something. 57 00:04:50,464.999 --> 00:04:57,524.999 It's about the way silence can be a cage, how it can trap the voice inside of you before you even know what it is.
Now, the sculpture that represents the silent capture is suffocation in a physical form.
(05:04):
If you have the book, please look at the picture as I'm explaining it.
You don't have the book, I hope you have a vivid imagination.
Go look at the cover of the book because the bricks are all kind of sculpted in that style and as describe it you should be able to follow along If not, I will be releasing pictures of the sculptures But the sculptures are actually a separate project on its own Although it goes hand in hand with the book.
(05:32):
There will be a full collection reveal of all the sculptures together coming in the future.
.999So for now, I'm only showing the pictures of the sculptures in a book. 64 00:05:43,269.999 --> 00:05:51,939.999 I have shown some snippets of some of the sculptures on my stories, but I'm pretty sure some of you that are listening has missed that. 65 00:05:52,279.999 --> 00:06:14,415 If you don't You want to get the book, no pressure, and you just want to, you know, focus or wait on the sculptures to come out, just give me time because there is some back of house work I need to do because the sculptures are not just being released at some type of small art project, I'm really pushing up, putting a lot of energy behind this, because this is something I believe in, so, I just wanted to say that before I started talking about this sculpture.
(06:14):
Alright, so if you look at this sculpture for the silence, the mouth is sewn shut with red thread.
And this is important.
The red thread is not just thread, it is blood.
The very thing that gives us life, the very essence of what keeps us alive is being used here to keep the mouth closed.
Because silence is not passive, it is active.
(06:35):
It takes energy to suppress yourself.
It takes effort to hold back what wants to escape.
This sculpture, like the poems in this section, is about the burdens, about the cost of keeping a mouth closed, of biting down on your own tongue so hard that it bleed. 74 00:06:52,9.999 --> 00:06:54,490 But silence is never eternal.
It always is on the edge of breaking.
(06:56):
So I began to think about, silence once I finished this sculpture and was moving on into the next section of this book, the break.
I said, okay, if silence is representing suppression, Then the break must be the rebellion and it is not quiet.
It is not controlled.
It is messy It is jagged and it is desperate and I wanted that to contrast the actual poems in this section because the poems in a break section Comes from a different POV about firstly speaking your truth.
(07:27):
It comes from a more vulnerable POV where the sculpture I feel like comes from kind of a violent You know, messy.
Okay, let me explain the sculpture, again, you have to get the book to kind of understand what I'm talking about. 82 00:07:44,404.999 --> 00:07:54,104.999 But again, so, um, this section of the book, I feel like, is about what happens when silence can no longer contain the truth.
(07:54):
When the words that have been locked away finally force themselves out, even if they come out, it screams.
The sculpture, The Break, embodies this perfectly, in my opinion.
If you look at it, the mouth is no longer shut, but it is open.
It is not smooth. 87 00:08:08,899.999 --> 00:08:10,690 It is torn, fractured. 88 00:08:11,459.999 --> 00:08:17,170 Violence looks like it's just spewing out, and inside the mouth, there's something sharp, something dangerous.
(08:17):
Look closely at the mouth for those of you who have pictured.
The red stained glass emerging from the mouth in this sculpture is shaped like a serpent's tongue.
This is important because truth, when it first escapes, does not always come out clean.
Sometimes it comes out as rage, sometimes it lashes, sometimes it bites, sometimes it strikes.
The serpent's tongue is the embodiment of that.
(08:40):
It is the tongue, of truth that is both a weapon and a warning.
The break is the section where the voice is no longer afraid, but it is still learning what to do with its power.
And sometimes in the beginning, the only way to speak is to spit fire.
So take a moment to take all of that in, again. 98 00:09:02,630.001 --> 00:09:04,110.001 Look at the sculpture if you have it. 99 00:09:04,180.001 --> 00:09:10,670.001 If you don't, please go look at the cover of the book and imagine the mouth on that differently as I just explained. 100 00:09:11,220.001 --> 00:09:17,490.002 So now we're heading into chapter three of the book or section three of the book, which is titled the blood. 101 00:09:17,550.002 --> 00:09:26,950.002 So I was thinking to myself as I was creating this sculpture, if Silence represents suppression, and the break represents the rebellion. 102 00:09:27,420.002 --> 00:09:29,870.002 Then the blood means here comes the reckoning. 103 00:09:29,960.002 --> 00:09:35,590.002 Now, the blood is the section where the voice is fully formed, where it is no longer fighting to be heard. 104 00:09:35,800.001 --> 00:09:42,40.002 It simply is, but this section also acknowledges something truth has a cost. 105 00:09:42,460.002 --> 00:09:45,480.002 Speaking freely does not always come without consequences. 106 00:09:45,490.002 --> 00:09:48,720.002 Sometimes it wounds, sometimes it stains. 107 00:09:49,30.002 --> 00:09:51,800.001 In a sculpture, the blood captures this reality. 108 00:09:52,120.002 --> 00:09:54,720.002 The mouth is not just open, it is spilling. 109 00:09:55,30.002 --> 00:09:56,930.002 The red in this piece is layered. 110 00:09:57,0.001 --> 00:10:04,90.002 There is a red cotton like fabric, soft but tangled, because even as the truth is spoken, it is not always easily unraveled. 111 00:10:04,400.002 --> 00:10:08,770.002 There are red dreams dripping from the mouth, because there is value in truth. 112 00:10:08,915.002 --> 00:10:11,125.002 But the value is often paid in blood. 113 00:10:11,485.002 --> 00:10:21,135.002 The sculpture, like this section of the book, is about the weight of honesty, about the wounds that come when a person finally start using their voice after years of suppression. 114 00:10:21,415.002 --> 00:10:29,185.002 But it is also about resilience because even though the mouth is bleeding, it is still open and it will never close again. 115 00:10:30,155.002 --> 00:10:37,735.002 Now, this leads us to the final section, which is, or I should call them chapters because that's what they are. 116 00:10:38,35.002 --> 00:10:41,980.002 Chapter Is this chapter four? I believe this is chapter four. 117 00:10:42,310.002 --> 00:10:45,480.002 I'm just going to keep calling them sections, not to confuse. 118 00:10:46,100.002 --> 00:10:48,840.002 and this is like the, this is the final section. 119 00:10:49,40.001 --> 00:10:53,80.001 So, in this section, this is where everything comes full circle.
(10:53):
.001And this section is called the mouth. 121 00:10:55,0.001 --> 00:10:58,590.001 This is what silence, breaking, and bleeding turn into power. 122 00:10:58,605.101 --> 00:11:03,205.001 In the mouth section, the voice is no longer just free. 123 00:11:03,235.001 --> 00:11:06,655.001 It is intentional, it is unapologetic, and it is refined. 124 00:11:06,945.001 --> 00:11:09,795.001 In a sculpture, the mouth mirrors this perfectly.
.001Look at it. 126 00:11:11,635.001 --> 00:11:14,475.0005 For those of you who have the book, again, look at it. 127 00:11:14,475.0005 --> 00:11:17,725 And for those of you who don't, please, I hope you have a good imagination. 128 00:11:18,155.001 --> 00:11:19,315.001 The mouth is clean. 129 00:11:19,335.001 --> 00:11:23,785.001 No more blood, no more jagged edges, no more tangled threads. 130 00:11:24,40.001 --> 00:11:30,850.001 The teeth gleam with different colored gems because now the voice is not just for survival, it is adornment. 131 00:11:31,20.001 --> 00:11:32,630.001 It is something to be celebrated.
(11:32):
.001This is the final evolution.
.001The moment where the voice is fully reclaimed. 134 00:11:37,490.001 --> 00:11:41,240.001 The moment where there is no more hesitation, no more questioning. 135 00:11:41,400.001 --> 00:11:46,650.001 The moment where the speaker knows their voice is theirs and no one can take it from them. 136 00:11:46,880.001 --> 00:11:48,660.001 And this is where the books leave you. 137 00:11:48,680.001 --> 00:11:53,700.001 Not in silence, not in breaking, not in bleeding, but in ownership. 138 00:11:55,60.101 --> 00:11:57,310.101 I will say there is one more sculpture. 139 00:11:57,320.101 --> 00:11:59,770.101 So, for now, everyone can see this one. 140 00:11:59,840.101 --> 00:12:01,620.1 The sculpture on the cover of the book. 141 00:12:01,620.101 --> 00:12:12,240.101 So, if you haven't seen the sculpture on the cover of the book, go to my Instagram page, at London Bambi, or at Black Balloon, or at The Hood debutante. 142 00:12:13,760.101 --> 00:12:18,730.101 Or, go to my website, as a matter of fact, go to my website, blackballoon70. 143 00:12:18,750.101 --> 00:12:25,880.101 com and look at the cover of the book, purchase it while you're there, um, but if not, just look at the cover of the book. 144 00:12:26,680.101 --> 00:12:31,160.101 The original Blood in My Mouth, again, the cover of the book, no longer looks the same. 145 00:12:31,170.101 --> 00:12:38,560.101 Because there, because once the truth changes things, once it's been spoken, there is no going back to what was before. 146 00:12:38,830.101 --> 00:12:41,900.1 And that is the ultimate lesson of this book, of these sculptures. 147 00:12:42,220.101 --> 00:12:43,540.101 Of this entire process. 148 00:12:43,540.101 --> 00:12:47,770.101 Once you find your voice, once you let the truth out, nothing remains the same. 149 00:12:48,40.101 --> 00:12:50,170.101 And that is exactly how I feel it should be. 150 00:12:50,170.101 --> 00:12:56,140.101 So when you look at this sculpture at the end of the book, it looks similar to the sculpture at the beginning of the book. 151 00:12:56,140.101 --> 00:13:01,450.101 Now, I'm gonna let you know right now the sculpture at the beginning of the book no longer exists because. 152 00:13:01,665.101 --> 00:13:18,15.1 After creating the other sculptures, after going through my poetry and editing it over and over again, figuring out which ones from years ago I should place in, which ones from recently will merge with of the whole theme of the book, I realized the truth has changed. 153 00:13:18,25.101 --> 00:13:20,405.101 It really has changed me as a person. 154 00:13:20,715.1 --> 00:13:37,35.1 And the sculpture at the beginning of the book should not be the same sculpture at the end of the book, Especially after it went through this journey, sort of like the tarot card, how it starts out with the fool, the card zero, and it goes all the way down the major arcana and the person is changed. 155 00:13:37,35.1 --> 00:13:38,635.1 They become fully aware. 156 00:13:38,635.101 --> 00:13:40,445.101 They become the world, that card. 157 00:13:40,465.101 --> 00:13:42,625.101 So it kind of follows that same process. 158 00:13:42,895.101 --> 00:13:46,505.101 So the, it's called the last sculpture, which again, you have to have the book. 159 00:13:47,215.101 --> 00:13:54,135.101 To actually see it's similar and there are some minor changes, but there are intentional major changes. 160 00:13:54,135.101 --> 00:14:03,25.1 And I'm going to save that for you guys to look at, to interpret and to actually figure that out for yourself because I want you to get the book. 161 00:14:03,85.1 --> 00:14:03,695.1 Okay. 162 00:14:04,545.101 --> 00:14:05,255.101 All right, my guys. 163 00:14:05,295.101 --> 00:14:09,815.101 So blood in my mouth is out now on black balloon, 70. 164 00:14:09,845.101 --> 00:14:11,855.101 com the art project. 165 00:14:12,195.101 --> 00:14:14,255.101 In my art collection, I should say. 166 00:14:14,265.101 --> 00:14:15,385.101 Bricks for sale. 167 00:14:16,5.101 --> 00:14:19,435.101 You will be able to see that in the future, the full collection. 168 00:14:19,445.101 --> 00:14:24,355.1 But, as of now, if you have the book, get the book, you will see the full collection in the book. 169 00:14:24,365.101 --> 00:14:29,255.1 And these will, this is, this pretty much is the, I would say the legacy collection. 170 00:14:29,255.101 --> 00:14:30,500.001 This is the, the legacy collection. 171 00:14:30,500.101 --> 00:14:33,540.101 Top tier collection of bricks for sale. 172 00:14:33,600.101 --> 00:14:35,430.101 There are other things coming with that. 173 00:14:35,440.101 --> 00:14:39,810.101 Again, that's why I'm not releasing it now because that is a whole nother project. 174 00:14:39,850.101 --> 00:14:43,900.101 And I believe both of these projects that I'm putting out are my babies. 175 00:14:43,930.101 --> 00:14:46,100.101 and thank you guys for actually listening to me. 176 00:14:46,120.101 --> 00:14:54,710.1 I really appreciate you guys for giving me the space and opportunity to speak with you and to share my projects and my point of view. 177 00:14:54,760.101 --> 00:14:57,940.1 I get that I'm not for everybody, but I'm a very niche person. 178 00:14:58,280.101 --> 00:15:00,100.101 And I, I'm okay with that. 179 00:15:00,150.101 --> 00:15:01,260.101 I really am okay with that. 180 00:15:01,260.101 --> 00:15:04,640.102 I also want to welcome my new followers. 181 00:15:04,715.102 --> 00:15:15,305.102 My new subscribers because over the past week since releasing my first episode, I've gotten a lot of new subscribers and I really, really want to let you know, thank you. 182 00:15:15,615.102 --> 00:15:18,675.101 Welcome here to the whole London Bambi world. 183 00:15:19,250.102 --> 00:15:26,10.102 The art over here may not be traditionally what you're used to seeing, but the art I create is uniquely me. 184 00:15:26,70.102 --> 00:15:27,640.102 I am a multimedia artist. 185 00:15:27,680.102 --> 00:15:33,340.1025 You never know what you're going to get from me, but the one thing you will be is entertained. 186 00:15:33,370.1025 --> 00:15:33,760.1025 Okay. 187 00:15:33,800.1025 --> 00:15:38,350.1025 I think the most boring thing about all projects I have now is I hate to see. 188 00:15:39,725.1025 --> 00:15:48,515.1035 Problems the podcast it is because podcast is probably the most structured part of my projects that I'm doing Normally, I'm all over the place. 189 00:15:48,555.1035 --> 00:15:51,30.1035 But this Yeah, my word is disciplined. 190 00:15:51,30.1035 --> 00:15:56,670.1035 So I'm going to take the structure from this podcast and implement it into my other projects. 191 00:15:56,670.1035 --> 00:16:07,465.0035 And the only reason I said the most boring project I have is probably this podcast is because of how structured it is and how rigid I am and the time constraint I put myself in. 192 00:16:08,295.1035 --> 00:16:09,445.1035 to get what I got to say out. 193 00:16:09,445.1035 --> 00:16:14,155.1035 So I got to keep myself from wondering off and digressing because I can do that a lot. 194 00:16:14,555.1035 --> 00:16:21,825.1035 I'm going to speak in circles and I've noticed since I've done this podcast, my episodes have been pretty consistent and I'm loving it. 195 00:16:21,855.1035 --> 00:16:23,585.1025 I'm loving this version of me. 196 00:16:23,595.1025 --> 00:16:30,295.1025 Again, to my new followers, this is just one of many versions of me and just know the best has yet to come. 197 00:16:30,705.1025 --> 00:16:31,375.1025 All right. 198 00:16:31,490.1025 --> 00:16:34,270.1025 I'm doing that thing where I start to ramble. 199 00:16:34,270.1025 --> 00:16:37,970.1025 So I'm just going to sign off and say, I love you guys. 200 00:16:37,990.1025 --> 00:16:39,940.1015 And I will see you next week. 201 00:16:40,10.1025 --> 00:16:40,490.1025 All right. 202 00:16:40,490.2025 --> 00:16:42,310.5655 Bye.
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