May 28, 2025 • 13 mins
In this episode, I’m doing something different.
Cleaning Out the Rot marks the beginning of a new era for The HOOD DEBUTANTE. From this point forward, I’m telling stories real, raw, metaphor rich stories that hold up a mirror to the soul.
This one starts with a man named Elijah and a house that looks perfect… until something starts to smell. What unfolds is a metaphor for shadow work the deep, uncomfortable, necessary process of facing the parts of ourselves we’ve hidden, silenced, or been shamed into burying.
Through Elijah’s story, I talk about:
•What the shadow really is
•How it shows up in your relationships, reactions, and patterns
•The childhood roots of internal rot
•The signs that your soul is overdue for renovation
•And the transformation that happens when you finally do the work
This isn’t surface level healing. This is spiritual demolition.
If you’ve been feeling stuck, triggered, avoidant, or low-key haunted by your own behavior this episode is your flashlight. Let’s go into the basement together. Let’s clean out the rot.
🖤 Press play, take a breath, and meet me where the healing begins.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:13):
Let's roll up is a new high good laugh.
Some good vibes is.
A safe space to talk about are the dope things that's on our mind from world travel philosophies we stay established on Rock.
With me is a good time.
Sauce to make champagne, which is reality.
Um, we do it for the culture.
Gotta show him what we can't be.
This is the high life.
Yeah.
We also fancy keep it a g cuss.
(00:36):
We are family.
It's the hood debutante with London.
Bambi on the debut.
Alright, I'm gonna save that for the Blues album, okay? Okay.
Yo.
Yo, yo.
What's up Rock Stars.
(00:58):
Welcome to another episode of the Hood Debutante podcast with.
Me, London Bambi.
And before I jump into today's episode, I want to say I'm sorry for not uploading the past two weeks.
I took an unplanned, uh, how can I say? I wanna say a mini, mini break from the podcast because I, I'm working on other projects that I want to get out.
(01:26):
Towards the end of the year or before the year ends, and I'm like, okay, I'm spending on a lot of plates.
Let me just focus on these particular projects at this moment.
And I've also been thinking about re-aligning the schedule.
So meaning that I'm thinking about changing the schedule for the podcast.
So instead of dropping one episode a week, I'm thinking about maybe possibly.
(01:50):
I'm toying with the idea of possibly doing maybe one every two weeks or once a month.
Now I'll probably poll this on Instagram.
We'll see how I'm feeling, and this way it can balance all of my projects and it's just more realistic for the space that I am in now on my creative adventure.
(02:11):
So yeah, we'll see.
We'll see how I feel.
I'll hopefully make that decision.
By the end of next week when it's time, um, when this, um, podcast is live.
So I wanna say that and yeah, yeah.
I'm back.
We're back.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Now that I got that out the way, I also should probably say today is episode 30.
Like, wow.
(02:31):
I cannot believe there are 30 episodes of the Hood Debutante Podcast up.
It's been interesting going back, listening to a few of the past episodes.
And seeing my growth and by to, by this episode being episode 30, I decided I wanted to shift the format.
So today's episode marks a new era for us because I'm not going to be just lecturing you.
(02:56):
I'm shifting from just talk and we're going to do more storytelling over here now.
Now you may be like, why and what you mean? Well, I mean that I'm going to actually format my, topics into stories.
And I'm doing this because I believe our souls learn best through stories, through hearing the echoes of our own struggles and someone else's journey.
(03:20):
So.
With that being said, today's episode is also inspired by a YouTube video on shadow work that I have.
And if you have not followed my YouTube channel and would like to see what I talk about over there, is London Bambi.
Just go to YouTube, type in London Bambi or ISO Love London.
And, it should pop up.
(03:40):
And this episode was inspired by the shadow work.
And I think right now, especially with what we're going through in the world, it's important that all of us again, go in and do some little shadow work, see what we can do to, heal ourselves more.
And with that being said, today's episode is titled Cleaning Out the Rot.
(04:02):
All right? And that's the name of the story, and it begins with the house, A house that looked perfect.
Drum roll.
Okay, we're gonna jump in.
That was a weak drum roll though.
Alright, so me, me, me putting on my, I'm putting on my storytelling voice all.
(04:22):
There was a man named Elijah on the outside Elijah house on Maro Lane was immaculate.
The white paint was painting, okay? The polished past doors was shining, and he had fresh flowers at the windows.
Anybody who passed by his house would say That man has it together.
That man knows how to keep structure intact, like he's, he's that dude.
(04:46):
But on the inside of the house, behind the locked doors and the drawn curtains, something was wrong.
There was a smell.
Not strong at first, just a hint of something rotten.
Elijah ignored it at first.
He lit a candle, bought some incense, spray air freshener into the air.
Practically tasted like lavender and lies, but the smell got worse.
(05:08):
It moved through the vents.
It started to sink into his clothes.
Still, he pretended because that's what he had been taught.
If it looks good on the outside, nobody's going to ask question.
And this rock stars is how a lot of us live.
We create the outside our looks, our achievements, our personas, while the inside the unseen parts of us are quietly rotten.
(05:33):
This is what I call the shadow.
All right.
It's not about being fake.
It's about survival.
You were taught early which parts of yourself were acceptable and which parts needed to be buried.
That anger of yours, that tenderness, that creative spark, it was too loud, too weird, too much into the basement.
They went and like Elijah, it might've worked for a while.
(05:59):
Just a while.
Alright, now.
One night Elijah woke up coughing.
The smell was sticker.
Now, almost solid.
He grabbed the flashlight, descended into the basement.
He hadn't entered in years and what he found made his stomach twist.
Old boxes, broken furniture, childhood toys, and in a corner, a pile of blackened rotting wood, spreading mold up the walls.
(06:23):
He realized the foundation of the house was compromised.
It wasn't just cosmetic anymore.
The rot was structural, ignoring it wasn't going to save him.
Now.
This is what happens when we ignore our shadow.
The anger we suppress leaks out is bitterness.
The grief we swallow festers into depression.
The power we repossess, explodes as self-sabotage.
(06:47):
The rot doesn't stay hidden for long.
At least it moves, it multiplies, and eventually it will make a home inside of you.
So Elijah had two choices.
He could sell the house and start all over, which.
Uh, story spoiler.
We all know had he, if he does that, he'll carry the rock with him.
(07:11):
Or his second choice would be to stay and clean it out.
Real cleaning, and not just with bleach.
Pretty throw pillows, but with glove tools and the brutal willingness to face the filth and possibly a healthy check to help with it.
So guess what he did? He chose to stay and the work began.
(07:35):
Look, shadow work, it is to, it is deciding to stay.
It's choosing to dig into your own soul and to haul out the things you bury alive.
It's asking yourself, what am I ashamed of? What do I pretend isn't there? What parts of me were told they were unworthy or too much? It's meeting your fears.
(07:56):
It's not as the enemy, but as a wounded child.
So you're, you're, you're pretty much going and trying to reparent your inner child.
You, you're facing your triggers.
You're not blaming a world, but you're asking what old wounds is crying inside of me.
All right? And that's something to sit on now.
Some days Elijah cried.
(08:17):
Some days he cursed to people who taught him to fear his own feelings.
Some days he wanted to quit because pulling out rot means revisiting the old parts of yourself that hurts the most.
The moments you were silent.
Abandoned, punished, but he kept going and slowly with each piece of ruined wood, he removed each wall.
(08:38):
He cleaned and restored.
Something had shifted.
He wasn't just fixing a house, he was reclaiming himself.
Shadow work is dirty.
Rock stars.
Because it's grief work, it's rage work, and it's rebirth work.
You will not come out of shadow work looking cute for Instagram or TikTok.
I mean, I do think there are some people trying to glamorize it, but it is nothing cute about it.
(09:01):
But you will come out of shadow work being real more realer than you have ever been.
You will come out knowing yourself so intimately that nobody, not a lover, not a job, not a trend, can sell you a fake version.
Of who you are ever again.
Alright, now, months later, Elijah House didn't just look clean, it felt different.
(09:24):
It was alive, it was breathing, and it was safe, which is most importantly, the foundation.
The parts no one else could see was now stronger than it had ever been.
Visitors who came to his home now could feel it, even if they didn't know why.
They stayed longer.
They laugh louder.
They felt safe to be real because when you clean out your own rot, you create space for others to breathe as well.
(09:48):
That's what happens when you do shadow work, and it may be one of the most annoying parts, especially for introverts, that people don't like to be around the people by you working on yourself and cleaning.
Out your rot and healing yourself.
You become a healing space.
You physically become a healing space for other people, and they may not even know why people will start to feel safe around you.
(10:08):
Like even when I'm on a train and there are thousands or hundreds of seats available, I always say, people will sit next to me and I realize it's because they feel safe.
Especially people's grandma, they will sit right next to me, although she has a lot of seats to choose from and don't have to be under me.
But when you do your shadow work and your healing work, people will be able to, breathe as well.
(10:30):
All right.
Now, that's the gift of shadow work.
You stopped being a prisoner for of what you hide.
You become a sanctuary.
You literally become that sanctuary and for, again, not just yourself, for the people you love, and some strangers too, it's because you become whole So if you've been wondering why your life smells a little off, if your relationships keep collapsing, if you feel stuck or numb or defenseless, all the damn time.
(11:00):
Maybe it's not bad luck.
Maybe it's just time to grab a flashlight and start cleaning out the rock.
You are not broken.
You're just overdue for an exorcism of the pain.
You were never meant to carry alone.
And if nobody has ever told you this, if nobody has ever had the guts to tell you this.
I'm gonna tell you right now, you are strong enough to face yourself.
(11:21):
I come to find out, a lot of people are really scared of themselves, scared to ask themselves some deep questions, you know? But you are strong enough to face yourself.
You are worthy enough to heal yourself.
You can do it, I promise you.
You can.
You just gotta face your self first.
And remember, you are the house and you are the architect.
(11:42):
And for some of us.
It is time to rebuild.
Alright.
Alright.
Alright.
So today is gonna be another one of those quick episodes.
I know, I know.
So, and because, because, because I'm getting tongue tied.
Today is a quick episode.
I might have to do another one.
Let's finish out this month.
Doing them once a week, so yeah.
(12:05):
But that's it.
That's it for today's episode of The Hood Debutante.
And if this story stirred something in you, share it, talk about it, sit with it.
And remember, the light you're looking for is buried right underneath the rot.
You are afraid to touch.
Okay friends.
Alright, until next time, I want you to stay brave, stay messy, stay human and be the best debutantes out there.
(12:32):
Alright? All right.
Alright, I have nothing else to say.
This is London Bambi and I'm signing off and I possibly will be seeing you guys again next week, but you know, because you guys are following me on all of my social medias, right? All right.,
And especially follow at the Hood debutante on Instagram because I make sure I keep everything updated over there about this podcast.
(12:54):
Alright, guys.
Love you.
Be safe.
And I hope, oh my God, I hope your year has been good because we're almost halfway done with the year Yayy.
Yay.
Where the time flies.
Anywho signing off.
Be.
Let's roll up is a new high good laugh.
Some good vibes is.
A safe space to talk about are the dope things that's on our mind from world travel philosophies we stay established on Rock.
With me is a good time.
Sauce to make champagne, which is reality.
Um, we do it for the culture.
Gotta show him what we can't be.
This is the high life.
Yeah.
We also fancy keep it a g cuss.
(00:36):
We are family.
It's the hood debutante with London.
Bambi on the debut.
Alright, I'm gonna save that for the Blues album, okay? Okay.
Yo.
Yo, yo.
What's up Rock Stars.
(00:58):
Welcome to another episode of the Hood Debutante podcast with.
Me, London Bambi.
And before I jump into today's episode, I want to say I'm sorry for not uploading the past two weeks.
I took an unplanned, uh, how can I say? I wanna say a mini, mini break from the podcast because I, I'm working on other projects that I want to get out.
(01:26):
Towards the end of the year or before the year ends, and I'm like, okay, I'm spending on a lot of plates.
Let me just focus on these particular projects at this moment.
And I've also been thinking about re-aligning the schedule.
So meaning that I'm thinking about changing the schedule for the podcast.
So instead of dropping one episode a week, I'm thinking about maybe possibly.
(01:50):
I'm toying with the idea of possibly doing maybe one every two weeks or once a month.
Now I'll probably poll this on Instagram.
We'll see how I'm feeling, and this way it can balance all of my projects and it's just more realistic for the space that I am in now on my creative adventure.
(02:11):
So yeah, we'll see.
We'll see how I feel.
I'll hopefully make that decision.
By the end of next week when it's time, um, when this, um, podcast is live.
So I wanna say that and yeah, yeah.
I'm back.
We're back.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Now that I got that out the way, I also should probably say today is episode 30.
Like, wow.
(02:31):
I cannot believe there are 30 episodes of the Hood Debutante Podcast up.
It's been interesting going back, listening to a few of the past episodes.
And seeing my growth and by to, by this episode being episode 30, I decided I wanted to shift the format.
So today's episode marks a new era for us because I'm not going to be just lecturing you.
(02:56):
I'm shifting from just talk and we're going to do more storytelling over here now.
Now you may be like, why and what you mean? Well, I mean that I'm going to actually format my, topics into stories.
And I'm doing this because I believe our souls learn best through stories, through hearing the echoes of our own struggles and someone else's journey.
(03:20):
So.
With that being said, today's episode is also inspired by a YouTube video on shadow work that I have.
And if you have not followed my YouTube channel and would like to see what I talk about over there, is London Bambi.
Just go to YouTube, type in London Bambi or ISO Love London.
And, it should pop up.
(03:40):
And this episode was inspired by the shadow work.
And I think right now, especially with what we're going through in the world, it's important that all of us again, go in and do some little shadow work, see what we can do to, heal ourselves more.
And with that being said, today's episode is titled Cleaning Out the Rot.
(04:02):
All right? And that's the name of the story, and it begins with the house, A house that looked perfect.
Drum roll.
Okay, we're gonna jump in.
That was a weak drum roll though.
Alright, so me, me, me putting on my, I'm putting on my storytelling voice all.
(04:22):
There was a man named Elijah on the outside Elijah house on Maro Lane was immaculate.
The white paint was painting, okay? The polished past doors was shining, and he had fresh flowers at the windows.
Anybody who passed by his house would say That man has it together.
That man knows how to keep structure intact, like he's, he's that dude.
(04:46):
But on the inside of the house, behind the locked doors and the drawn curtains, something was wrong.
There was a smell.
Not strong at first, just a hint of something rotten.
Elijah ignored it at first.
He lit a candle, bought some incense, spray air freshener into the air.
Practically tasted like lavender and lies, but the smell got worse.
(05:08):
It moved through the vents.
It started to sink into his clothes.
Still, he pretended because that's what he had been taught.
If it looks good on the outside, nobody's going to ask question.
And this rock stars is how a lot of us live.
We create the outside our looks, our achievements, our personas, while the inside the unseen parts of us are quietly rotten.
(05:33):
This is what I call the shadow.
All right.
It's not about being fake.
It's about survival.
You were taught early which parts of yourself were acceptable and which parts needed to be buried.
That anger of yours, that tenderness, that creative spark, it was too loud, too weird, too much into the basement.
They went and like Elijah, it might've worked for a while.
(05:59):
Just a while.
Alright, now.
One night Elijah woke up coughing.
The smell was sticker.
Now, almost solid.
He grabbed the flashlight, descended into the basement.
He hadn't entered in years and what he found made his stomach twist.
Old boxes, broken furniture, childhood toys, and in a corner, a pile of blackened rotting wood, spreading mold up the walls.
(06:23):
He realized the foundation of the house was compromised.
It wasn't just cosmetic anymore.
The rot was structural, ignoring it wasn't going to save him.
Now.
This is what happens when we ignore our shadow.
The anger we suppress leaks out is bitterness.
The grief we swallow festers into depression.
The power we repossess, explodes as self-sabotage.
(06:47):
The rot doesn't stay hidden for long.
At least it moves, it multiplies, and eventually it will make a home inside of you.
So Elijah had two choices.
He could sell the house and start all over, which.
Uh, story spoiler.
We all know had he, if he does that, he'll carry the rock with him.
(07:11):
Or his second choice would be to stay and clean it out.
Real cleaning, and not just with bleach.
Pretty throw pillows, but with glove tools and the brutal willingness to face the filth and possibly a healthy check to help with it.
So guess what he did? He chose to stay and the work began.
(07:35):
Look, shadow work, it is to, it is deciding to stay.
It's choosing to dig into your own soul and to haul out the things you bury alive.
It's asking yourself, what am I ashamed of? What do I pretend isn't there? What parts of me were told they were unworthy or too much? It's meeting your fears.
(07:56):
It's not as the enemy, but as a wounded child.
So you're, you're, you're pretty much going and trying to reparent your inner child.
You, you're facing your triggers.
You're not blaming a world, but you're asking what old wounds is crying inside of me.
All right? And that's something to sit on now.
Some days Elijah cried.
(08:17):
Some days he cursed to people who taught him to fear his own feelings.
Some days he wanted to quit because pulling out rot means revisiting the old parts of yourself that hurts the most.
The moments you were silent.
Abandoned, punished, but he kept going and slowly with each piece of ruined wood, he removed each wall.
(08:38):
He cleaned and restored.
Something had shifted.
He wasn't just fixing a house, he was reclaiming himself.
Shadow work is dirty.
Rock stars.
Because it's grief work, it's rage work, and it's rebirth work.
You will not come out of shadow work looking cute for Instagram or TikTok.
I mean, I do think there are some people trying to glamorize it, but it is nothing cute about it.
(09:01):
But you will come out of shadow work being real more realer than you have ever been.
You will come out knowing yourself so intimately that nobody, not a lover, not a job, not a trend, can sell you a fake version.
Of who you are ever again.
Alright, now, months later, Elijah House didn't just look clean, it felt different.
(09:24):
It was alive, it was breathing, and it was safe, which is most importantly, the foundation.
The parts no one else could see was now stronger than it had ever been.
Visitors who came to his home now could feel it, even if they didn't know why.
They stayed longer.
They laugh louder.
They felt safe to be real because when you clean out your own rot, you create space for others to breathe as well.
(09:48):
That's what happens when you do shadow work, and it may be one of the most annoying parts, especially for introverts, that people don't like to be around the people by you working on yourself and cleaning.
Out your rot and healing yourself.
You become a healing space.
You physically become a healing space for other people, and they may not even know why people will start to feel safe around you.
(10:08):
Like even when I'm on a train and there are thousands or hundreds of seats available, I always say, people will sit next to me and I realize it's because they feel safe.
Especially people's grandma, they will sit right next to me, although she has a lot of seats to choose from and don't have to be under me.
But when you do your shadow work and your healing work, people will be able to, breathe as well.
(10:30):
All right.
Now, that's the gift of shadow work.
You stopped being a prisoner for of what you hide.
You become a sanctuary.
You literally become that sanctuary and for, again, not just yourself, for the people you love, and some strangers too, it's because you become whole So if you've been wondering why your life smells a little off, if your relationships keep collapsing, if you feel stuck or numb or defenseless, all the damn time.
(11:00):
Maybe it's not bad luck.
Maybe it's just time to grab a flashlight and start cleaning out the rock.
You are not broken.
You're just overdue for an exorcism of the pain.
You were never meant to carry alone.
And if nobody has ever told you this, if nobody has ever had the guts to tell you this.
I'm gonna tell you right now, you are strong enough to face yourself.
(11:21):
I come to find out, a lot of people are really scared of themselves, scared to ask themselves some deep questions, you know? But you are strong enough to face yourself.
You are worthy enough to heal yourself.
You can do it, I promise you.
You can.
You just gotta face your self first.
And remember, you are the house and you are the architect.
(11:42):
And for some of us.
It is time to rebuild.
Alright.
Alright.
Alright.
So today is gonna be another one of those quick episodes.
I know, I know.
So, and because, because, because I'm getting tongue tied.
Today is a quick episode.
I might have to do another one.
Let's finish out this month.
Doing them once a week, so yeah.
(12:05):
But that's it.
That's it for today's episode of The Hood Debutante.
And if this story stirred something in you, share it, talk about it, sit with it.
And remember, the light you're looking for is buried right underneath the rot.
You are afraid to touch.
Okay friends.
Alright, until next time, I want you to stay brave, stay messy, stay human and be the best debutantes out there.
(12:32):
Alright? All right.
Alright, I have nothing else to say.
This is London Bambi and I'm signing off and I possibly will be seeing you guys again next week, but you know, because you guys are following me on all of my social medias, right? All right.,
And especially follow at the Hood debutante on Instagram because I make sure I keep everything updated over there about this podcast.
(12:54):
Alright, guys.
Love you.
Be safe.
And I hope, oh my God, I hope your year has been good because we're almost halfway done with the year Yayy.
Yay.
Where the time flies.
Anywho signing off.
Be.
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