April 24, 2025 • 22 mins
What if forgiveness wasn’t a moral checklist but a spectrum of soul responses?
In this powerful and poetic episode 28, London Bambi introduces his original Forgiveness Archetype Spectrum a 6 part framework that redefines how we understand forgiveness. From the transcendent mercy of the Divine Forgiver to the unwavering stance of the Eternal Judge, this episode takes you on a deep emotional journey through each archetype’s core traits, poetic essence, shaping forces, forgiveness philosophy, and response to harm.
This isn’t about telling you to “let it go” it’s about giving you language for where you are and why that’s sacred.
Whether you forgive instantly, selectively, with boundaries or not at all this episode will meet you there. Because every kind of forgiveness… and every kind of non-forgiveness… has a story. And a place.
Listen if you’ve ever asked yourself:
•“Why can’t I forgive?”
•“Am I wrong for cutting them off?”
•“What does healing look like when trust is gone?”
This is for the soft ones, the scorched ones, the ones who remember everything.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:13):
Let's roll up is a new high.
Good Last of good vibes is a safe space to talk about are the dope things that's on our mind from world travel philosophies.
We stay stylish.
Coming.
Rock with me is a good time.
We got the sauce.
Make champagne, which is reality.
Um, we do it for the culture.
Gotta show him what we can be.
This is the high life.
Yet we also fancy keep it a g cus we are family.
(00:38):
This debutante the debut.
Okay, I'm gonna stop singing one day.
Yo.
Yo.
What's up Rock stars.
Welcome to another episode of the Hood Wun podcast with me, your host, London Bambi.
(01:04):
And today I got something sacred for you.
Today's topic came from a conversation I was having with a few friends of mine, pretty much is surrounded by for forgiveness.
My friends was trying to say that I am what they perceive to be a hard forgiver, and I gotta say that I'm the type of person that if you are in my life, if I care about you, I love you.
(01:25):
I'm not gonna assume you're coming from a place of malice.
When you say something about me, I'll actually take it in and self-reflect and think to myself like, okay, this is the way the world perceived me.
Or, I'm coming off in a world.
Is there some validity to it? And so I started to go on an internal search and even an internet search to try to find what type of forgivers are there.
(01:47):
I'm, if I was to be considered a hard forgiver.
There must be some way to gauge this, right? So as I'm searching the internet, I be, I didn't find anything, to be honest.
I didn't find any type of archetypes of different levels of forgiveness.
And I to then realize, I was like, okay, it must mean that I'm supposed to create these archetypes.
(02:10):
So I took it upon myself to create.
Six different archetypes of forgivers, and this episode is a map of the emotional terrain we travel after harm.
A spectrum, a landscape, a compass that tells you where you are when it comes to forgiveness.
Not where you should be, but where your truth.
(02:33):
Lives because here's the real forgiveness.
Ain't one size fit all.
It's not always holy.
It's not always soft.
And babe, sometimes it is not even possible.
So I created this spectrum for the ones who forgive easily and the ones who never do for the ones stuck in the middle for the saints, the scorch and the silence.
(02:54):
So let's walk through all six archetypes deeply with honesty, with poetry and with soul.
Okay, now.
I am gonna start it off with the most forgiving, to the least forgiving.
And I'll start off with their core traits.
Alright, so the, the most forgiving I call the divine forgiver, their core traits are unconditional love.
(03:17):
Radical acceptance.
They're egoless and compassionate.
They have spiritually transcended, they have a.
Deep presence without judgment.
Now the divine forgiver is the one who sees with the eyes of the eternity.
They don't just forgive.
You get the sense that they never held the grudge to begin with.
They operate on a frequency.
(03:37):
Most folks can't even hear, okay? They don't need an apology, a reason or a change of behavior.
Forgiveness for them isn't reaction.
It's a posture, a calling.
It's like a way of being for them.
They are the well that never runs, dried up.
Ocean that receives every storm but never throws it back.
The divine forgiver doesn't live in the wound.
(03:57):
They live in the wind.
Fluid unbothered transcended.
They don't look at you as what you did, but at as what you're becoming.
I guess I can say this archetype is forged in spirit.
They've experienced an awakening.
They've experienced the ego depth that the lost that they had, cracked them open in a way that it never closed again.
(04:19):
Think about the monks, the mystics.
Some people may even say Jesus or somebody you may consider the chosen one.
This archetype often walk with a spiritual presence or what I like to call a cosmic clarity.
They're not naive, but they're wise beyond this lifetime, and I've met people like this because they believe forgiveness is liberation.
Not just for others, but for themselves to withhold forgiveness will be to entangle with pain, and they're not here for this entanglement.
(04:47):
They don't just forgive because you deserve it.
They forgive because they are free.
I.
I, I actually have a good friend who I believe is a divine forgiver.
They don't know it.
but it's hard to see the full picture who you are when you're just the thread in the tapestry.
Right? And, the way like the divine forgiver respond to harm is, I.
Instant forgiveness.
(05:08):
They quietly release, like whatever they're holding, they don't confront, push or withdraw.
They may express sorrow for the harm, but they are never scorned.
Like they don't even try to harm the harmer.
It's not denial.
It is just divine detachment.
I look at it as they transmute the pain into compassion and keep moving.
Often they are blessing the ones who hurt them and they like literally just, I don't know how, like, just like let, it's like water off of a dust bag, let it roll off their back.
(05:38):
They're like, yo, it's cool.
We're good.
We, nothing.
Nothing.
Wrong.
We good.
You don't have to be upset.
You don't have to, you know, apologize.
They, again, like I said, they don't need any apology.
So that is what I consider the divine forgiver.
Now the divine forgiver is something I believe.
We all should try to aspire to because to me, these people, they are godsend, literally godsend.
(06:00):
These are the true, true deep, deep healers of the world because they understand harm is going to happen while you're on this physical plane, and regardless of how it looks, they always choose to run towards delight and believe in the best of you.
I'm not a divine forgiver, but they do exist.
I would say that because I, like I said before.
(06:22):
I have a friend who I believe is a divine forgiver.
Okay, next we're gonna move on to the grieving saint.
Now, the core trait of the grieving saint is they are emotionally vulnerable.
They're deeply empathetic.
They're resilient through sorrow, and they are graceful under pressure, and they get wounded, but they're still loving.
(06:45):
The grieving saint is the one who forgives with like the trembling hands.
You know, the one that lip is still like equivalent while they're crying and you know, they're like, okay, I understand, but I'm hurting.
They forgive, but they're feeling the pain deeply.
You know, not that the vine forgiver doesn't feel the pain, but it, it comes off as the divine forgiver just have a better understanding.
(07:07):
So they don't let the pain get to them.
So, they forgive, not because it's easy, but because they know, they know what pain is and they still choose softness.
Their forgiveness has a cost.
It breaks them open.
It's not divine, but it's the deeply painful.
Part of being a human for them.
Okay? So they understand this pain a little deeply, and they feel it a little heavier, I feel, than a divine forgiver.
(07:33):
But they're still able to forgive this archetype is the candle that burns in a storm.
Their mercy is soaked in tears.
They whisper prayers for the ones who broke them.
Not because they forget, but because they refuse to become what hurt them.
When I think of the, grieving saint.
You know when they say hurt people, hurt people, they understand this all too well.
(07:55):
So they're like, okay, you are hurt, but I don't want to be the hurt person that's hurting another person.
And that's the way I think of the grieving saints.
The grieving saints.
They are often survivals.
Survivors of betrayal, of abandonment, of unspeakable loss.
They set with their darkness, but instead of turning cold, they become warm.
Anyway, this archetype is formed through heartbreak and rebirth.
(08:18):
Forgiveness is their rebellion against becoming bitter.
Their whole goal is not to become bitter, so they're carrying the pain and they're going to forgive you.
But they, hold the pain so close so they could know what not to become.
Do you get what I'm saying? I would say their philosophy would be, I forgive you, not to save you, but to save me.
(08:39):
They carry their grief like an armor.
Their forgiveness is not quick though it's earned internally, not through your apology, but through their process.
It's like a deep alchemy of sorrow into grace.
That's the way I would really, try to wrap this up.
and the way they respond to harm is they retreat, they mourn, they don't deny what has been done.
(09:00):
Their silence is not indifference, it's emotional digestion.
Over time, they return to themselves and if they forgive, it's not loud.
It's really sacred.
A quiet releasing of the way, not a memory of the burden.
And that's the way I think of the grieving saint.
So the grieving saint don't want to be the person that's hurting people.
(09:20):
So they get hurt and they understand hurt people, hurt people, like I said before, but they refuse to become the person that hurt them and carry that on.
All righty.
Now the next one is number three.
I would say this person is called the bounder healer.
This is what I call this, this person.
Okay.
And their core traits are emotional intelligence, self-protective.
(09:46):
They are clear communicators.
They experience healing with.
Work.
Okay.
And they value peace over performance.
Now, the boundary healer doesn't forgive automatically.
Okay? Now we're getting into where they have boundaries.
So we're reaching the healer that actually understand their boundaries.
That's why I call this healer the boundary healer.
(10:08):
So their healing doesn't come that easy as the other two, and they're not about to perform peace for your comfort.
This archetype has done the inner work, they've bled, healed, stitched up their soul, and now they guard it like it is sacred because.
Believe it or not, your boundaries are sacred, and I don't think we talk about that enough.
There may be another podcast episode, but your boundaries are now, they are not soft, but structured.
(10:33):
They are the roses with thorns.
This healer, they knows healing doesn't mean access.
They forgive when it's real, not when it's, their forgiveness is clear-eyed, not clouded by guilt or spiritual guilt tripping.
This archetype is shaped by.
Therapy.
They're shaped by their boundaries, their spiritual awakening with self-knowledge.
(10:54):
They've unlearned people pleasing.
They've learned to read their body's nose.
They've learned where their boundary strongly lies, and it comes from a place of trauma.
A lot of times they've studied themselves and they understand that what they've built, somebody is trying to break down their walls that can be easily forgiven for them.
(11:15):
All right.
And I would say the philosophy they live by is, I can forgive you, but I don't have to let you near me ever again.
So once you cross their boundaries, you might have access to them, but.
Not as soon as, as if the wound is fresh.
No, the bounder healers, you need to give them time.
Those are the ones that they gotta have time to sniff you out.
(11:39):
Again.
You may need to get a reentry pass.
Uh, but uh, like the other two.
Forgivers.
They're like, no, ma'am, I don't have to let you back into my life.
I can forgive you and love you from afar.
That's the way I think of them when they say, Hey, I forgive you and I love you from afar.
That is the boundary healer, because to them, forgiveness is not about, reconciling.
(11:59):
It's about their space.
They know that closure is an inside job.
So before they can really, really forgive you, they need that time and space from you to really heal.
All right? And how they respond to harm is they pause, they assess.
They don't ghost, but they will cut off the energy that had hurt them.
If they forgive, it's on their term and in their timing and usually with new rules.
(12:24):
Alright? They believe in accountability, not amnesia.
So it's not like, forgive and forget.
When I think of forgive and forget, that would be the divine forgiver.
And maybe even the grievance saint, but this, no, they, they are not about the forgive and forget.
All right, so that is what I would call it, the bounded healer.
(12:46):
Now we're gonna move on to the just warrior.
So when my friends say that I am a hard forgiver, I believe they're talking about this part of me right now.
The characteristics or the core traits of the just Warrior is justice.
They are morally grounded, they're protective of others.
They're bold, honest, and clear, and they are deeply principled.
(13:10):
Right? And so I was thinking about.
This as I was coming down this list going from the most to the, least forgiving.
So when I got to four, I was like, okay, this feels right.
This feels right.
So I began to, think about myself as the just warrior forgiver.
Now, the just warrior don't play about fairness.
All right? Their forgiveness come only after the scales have been balanced, not before.
(13:35):
They do not conflate healing with.
Silence and they refuse to forgive just to make other people comfortable.
This archetype stands at the altar of truth with their sword drawn.
They hold their pain in one hand and a principle in the other.
Their love is fierce.
Their forgiveness is conditional, not because they're cold, but because they honor what was broken.
(13:56):
And this is true.
Just Warriors are shaped by injustice, systematic, interpersonal, ancestral wrongs.
They've seen harm go unchecked and unchallenged, and they vowed never to repeat that cycle.
They often merged through activism, rebellion, and a personal awakening to oppression and harm.
Now their forgiveness philosophy is, I forgive when the truth shows up.
(14:21):
Not before.
Alright, so.
The just warrior don't play that, don't play that shit, right.
They forgive when there's hardcore evidence that you want to change and you can explain why the harm was done, where were you in that head space and that it, it can't come without those tough conversation.
(14:42):
For them, forgiveness without change is betrayal.
Accountability is the price of peace.
They won't accept crumbs and call it closure.
Now how they respond to harm with confrontation, with clarity.
They named the harm and demand it be seen, acknowledged, and addressed.
They may forgive, but only after a repair, and if no repair is offered, they will not.
(15:05):
Fake grace.
Their silence is a stance.
Their distance is a decision.
So I guess I'm more of a just warrior forgiver because as I was writing this down and thinking about all the traits that I was gonna put in the just warrior forgiver, it fits me in a way I forgive very much.
So now we're gonna go to the next level, which is the scorched one.
(15:29):
All right.
The scorched one.
The core traits of the scorch ones is they are raw.
Guarded.
They are quietly wounded.
They are emotionally complex, sensitive, but cut off in between hope and heartbreak.
Now, the scorch one wants to forgive, but they can't.
Not yet.
Maybe not ever.
This archetype is still living in a burn.
(15:51):
The apology that never came, the closure that never landed, and even if it did, it might be too late.
They are the ashes of what was once bright.
Their silence isn't petty, but it is protective.
They want to let go, but the wounds keep whispering.
They carry heartbreaking.
Their bones like old weather.
They don't lash out.
They don't speak often, but their soul remembers everything.
(16:15):
This archetype is shaped by deep betrayal, ghosting, gaslighting.
Family, T arrangement, cruelty, where there should have been cared.
Many of them once trusted, easily gave freely until they were burned.
Now they live inside their scorch ground.
Their forgiveness philosophy would be, I.
They might say something like, I've tried, I swear I've tried, but the hurt still talks louder than my healing.
(16:42):
Their forgiveness is not a refusal, it's a process that just keeps breaking, and this is where it gets really, really dark.
they vanish not to punish, but to protect themselves.
They might stay silent for years.
They may revisit the wound privately over and over.
Sometimes their forgiveness is whisper.
Were to the stars, never to the person.
It's grief, not revenge, and it's survival for them.
(17:05):
I actually know somebody, this archetype came from somebody.
I would consider it the way they try to get over things.
But can't as them being scorched.
So that's why I called this forgiver, the scorched one, because I knew somebody who was really trying to get past, they hurt, but they just couldn't.
And it wasn't that they wanted to hold onto this pain.
(17:26):
I could tell they really didn't.
but we all have our own internal journey.
So this one is dedicated to that person when I thought about the scorch one.
And so, yeah, and I still get sad kind of when I think about how they held onto things.
But I.
Yeah.
Um, moving on to the last and the final forgiving archetype, and I'll call this one the eternal judge.
(17:51):
Now, this is the least forgiving their court traits is they are mor morally firm.
They're unyielding, they detach from sentiment.
They are.
Furiously discerning and they are spiritually protective.
Now, the eternal judge forgives no one, okay? Not because they lack love, because they honor the truth more.
(18:12):
This archetype believes that some betrayals deserves distance.
Some harms don't get healing, and some people lose the right to be forgiving.
They are the cold moonlight on a battlefield.
They remember everything.
Thing not to carry the hate, but to prevent harm from rewriting history.
They are the ancestors who refuse to forget.
They are not cruel, but they are clear.
(18:33):
Forgiveness to them is surrendering, and they do not surrender.
All right.
Often they are shaped by generational trauma.
Identity shattering and betrayed, or years of watching harm be excused.
These are the survivors who said never again.
They become activists of harm and they protect their memory like a scarred law.
(18:57):
I would say their forgiving philosophy is they may say something like, I don't forgive because I believe in consequences.
Some things should be remembered, not released.
They are not angry.
I would say that they are a principle.
Forgiveness in their eyes can whitewash the truth and they refuse to whitewash history.
They respond to harm easily by cutting you off completely.
(19:19):
No warning, no call, no reunion.
Their silence is the power.
Their distance is their protection.
If they speak, it's often once clearly and final.
After that, they're gone and they don't look back.
Alright, so those are the six archetypes and the.
Eternal judge, you don't wanna be on the end of that.
(19:41):
You don't want to ever have to look for forgiveness from somebody with that type of, forgiveness, philosophy.
All right, so those are the six archetypes I came with.
So now that you met them, all the six faces of forgiveness that I create from the vine to done.
You may say, I want you to ask yourself this.
Where do I live on the spectrum? What shaped that? And do I want to stay there? Because again, we have the flexibility to change our mind.
(20:09):
No archetype is better than the other.
I also wanna put that out there.
They're just different places, different truth, different ways.
Our souls respond to harm.
You can be a divine with your child.
A grieving with your ex, a boundary healer with your family.
A just warrior with your politics, a scorched one from that one friend who betrayed you and an eternal judge with somebody who abused you.
(20:33):
It is all valid and it is all sacred, and you are still a master.
Peace.
All right my friend.
I'm so glad I got that out there.
Again, I know my episodes are random, but if you wanted, was ever wondering what type of forgiver you are, I am glad you listened to this episode and I hope you're able to find an archetype that you can relate to.
(20:56):
And if you was listening and say, Hey, there's still something missing, let me know.
Reach out if that that hits your spirit.
I want you to tag me and say London.
What about this? Come up with your own archetype and we can add it to the list because I'm sure there could be more.
And another friend who I shared these archetypes with before I.
recorded this podcast episode, let me know.
(21:18):
He was like, Hey, you know, again, we, uh, we're not stuck.
We could be those at any given moment, and that is true.
These archetypes could fluctuate.
You can actually be a eternal judge, believe it or not.
But one day decide that that may be too heavy for you and swiftly switch to something.
I'm not saying you're gonna jump up to the divine forgiver, but move up the scale and be a little bit more forgiving.
(21:42):
My goal is to, as a just worry, forgiver at this moment, this time in my life, to move towards the divine forgiver and let things roll off my back like water on a dust bag.
Alright guys.
Thank you.
For spending this time with me today.
And as always, I love you guys.
(22:03):
You guys are, you know, you're rock stars.
I'm, I'm, I'm really glad that I get to do this and have this podcast and have an audience to listen to me.
So until next time, rock stars, stay soft, stay wild, and stay becoming as my.
Good, Michelle Obama would say.
Now this has been the Hood of Debutante podcast again.
(22:25):
I am London Bambi, and let me let you know I forgive when it's real.
Alright, I'm signing off.
Peace.
Let's roll up is a new high.
Good Last of good vibes is a safe space to talk about are the dope things that's on our mind from world travel philosophies.
We stay stylish.
Coming.
Rock with me is a good time.
We got the sauce.
Make champagne, which is reality.
Um, we do it for the culture.
Gotta show him what we can be.
This is the high life.
Yet we also fancy keep it a g cus we are family.
(00:38):
This debutante the debut.
Okay, I'm gonna stop singing one day.
Yo.
Yo.
What's up Rock stars.
Welcome to another episode of the Hood Wun podcast with me, your host, London Bambi.
(01:04):
And today I got something sacred for you.
Today's topic came from a conversation I was having with a few friends of mine, pretty much is surrounded by for forgiveness.
My friends was trying to say that I am what they perceive to be a hard forgiver, and I gotta say that I'm the type of person that if you are in my life, if I care about you, I love you.
(01:25):
I'm not gonna assume you're coming from a place of malice.
When you say something about me, I'll actually take it in and self-reflect and think to myself like, okay, this is the way the world perceived me.
Or, I'm coming off in a world.
Is there some validity to it? And so I started to go on an internal search and even an internet search to try to find what type of forgivers are there.
(01:47):
I'm, if I was to be considered a hard forgiver.
There must be some way to gauge this, right? So as I'm searching the internet, I be, I didn't find anything, to be honest.
I didn't find any type of archetypes of different levels of forgiveness.
And I to then realize, I was like, okay, it must mean that I'm supposed to create these archetypes.
(02:10):
So I took it upon myself to create.
Six different archetypes of forgivers, and this episode is a map of the emotional terrain we travel after harm.
A spectrum, a landscape, a compass that tells you where you are when it comes to forgiveness.
Not where you should be, but where your truth.
(02:33):
Lives because here's the real forgiveness.
Ain't one size fit all.
It's not always holy.
It's not always soft.
And babe, sometimes it is not even possible.
So I created this spectrum for the ones who forgive easily and the ones who never do for the ones stuck in the middle for the saints, the scorch and the silence.
(02:54):
So let's walk through all six archetypes deeply with honesty, with poetry and with soul.
Okay, now.
I am gonna start it off with the most forgiving, to the least forgiving.
And I'll start off with their core traits.
Alright, so the, the most forgiving I call the divine forgiver, their core traits are unconditional love.
(03:17):
Radical acceptance.
They're egoless and compassionate.
They have spiritually transcended, they have a.
Deep presence without judgment.
Now the divine forgiver is the one who sees with the eyes of the eternity.
They don't just forgive.
You get the sense that they never held the grudge to begin with.
They operate on a frequency.
(03:37):
Most folks can't even hear, okay? They don't need an apology, a reason or a change of behavior.
Forgiveness for them isn't reaction.
It's a posture, a calling.
It's like a way of being for them.
They are the well that never runs, dried up.
Ocean that receives every storm but never throws it back.
The divine forgiver doesn't live in the wound.
(03:57):
They live in the wind.
Fluid unbothered transcended.
They don't look at you as what you did, but at as what you're becoming.
I guess I can say this archetype is forged in spirit.
They've experienced an awakening.
They've experienced the ego depth that the lost that they had, cracked them open in a way that it never closed again.
(04:19):
Think about the monks, the mystics.
Some people may even say Jesus or somebody you may consider the chosen one.
This archetype often walk with a spiritual presence or what I like to call a cosmic clarity.
They're not naive, but they're wise beyond this lifetime, and I've met people like this because they believe forgiveness is liberation.
Not just for others, but for themselves to withhold forgiveness will be to entangle with pain, and they're not here for this entanglement.
(04:47):
They don't just forgive because you deserve it.
They forgive because they are free.
I.
I, I actually have a good friend who I believe is a divine forgiver.
They don't know it.
but it's hard to see the full picture who you are when you're just the thread in the tapestry.
Right? And, the way like the divine forgiver respond to harm is, I.
Instant forgiveness.
(05:08):
They quietly release, like whatever they're holding, they don't confront, push or withdraw.
They may express sorrow for the harm, but they are never scorned.
Like they don't even try to harm the harmer.
It's not denial.
It is just divine detachment.
I look at it as they transmute the pain into compassion and keep moving.
Often they are blessing the ones who hurt them and they like literally just, I don't know how, like, just like let, it's like water off of a dust bag, let it roll off their back.
(05:38):
They're like, yo, it's cool.
We're good.
We, nothing.
Nothing.
Wrong.
We good.
You don't have to be upset.
You don't have to, you know, apologize.
They, again, like I said, they don't need any apology.
So that is what I consider the divine forgiver.
Now the divine forgiver is something I believe.
We all should try to aspire to because to me, these people, they are godsend, literally godsend.
(06:00):
These are the true, true deep, deep healers of the world because they understand harm is going to happen while you're on this physical plane, and regardless of how it looks, they always choose to run towards delight and believe in the best of you.
I'm not a divine forgiver, but they do exist.
I would say that because I, like I said before.
(06:22):
I have a friend who I believe is a divine forgiver.
Okay, next we're gonna move on to the grieving saint.
Now, the core trait of the grieving saint is they are emotionally vulnerable.
They're deeply empathetic.
They're resilient through sorrow, and they are graceful under pressure, and they get wounded, but they're still loving.
(06:45):
The grieving saint is the one who forgives with like the trembling hands.
You know, the one that lip is still like equivalent while they're crying and you know, they're like, okay, I understand, but I'm hurting.
They forgive, but they're feeling the pain deeply.
You know, not that the vine forgiver doesn't feel the pain, but it, it comes off as the divine forgiver just have a better understanding.
(07:07):
So they don't let the pain get to them.
So, they forgive, not because it's easy, but because they know, they know what pain is and they still choose softness.
Their forgiveness has a cost.
It breaks them open.
It's not divine, but it's the deeply painful.
Part of being a human for them.
Okay? So they understand this pain a little deeply, and they feel it a little heavier, I feel, than a divine forgiver.
(07:33):
But they're still able to forgive this archetype is the candle that burns in a storm.
Their mercy is soaked in tears.
They whisper prayers for the ones who broke them.
Not because they forget, but because they refuse to become what hurt them.
When I think of the, grieving saint.
You know when they say hurt people, hurt people, they understand this all too well.
(07:55):
So they're like, okay, you are hurt, but I don't want to be the hurt person that's hurting another person.
And that's the way I think of the grieving saints.
The grieving saints.
They are often survivals.
Survivors of betrayal, of abandonment, of unspeakable loss.
They set with their darkness, but instead of turning cold, they become warm.
Anyway, this archetype is formed through heartbreak and rebirth.
(08:18):
Forgiveness is their rebellion against becoming bitter.
Their whole goal is not to become bitter, so they're carrying the pain and they're going to forgive you.
But they, hold the pain so close so they could know what not to become.
Do you get what I'm saying? I would say their philosophy would be, I forgive you, not to save you, but to save me.
(08:39):
They carry their grief like an armor.
Their forgiveness is not quick though it's earned internally, not through your apology, but through their process.
It's like a deep alchemy of sorrow into grace.
That's the way I would really, try to wrap this up.
and the way they respond to harm is they retreat, they mourn, they don't deny what has been done.
(09:00):
Their silence is not indifference, it's emotional digestion.
Over time, they return to themselves and if they forgive, it's not loud.
It's really sacred.
A quiet releasing of the way, not a memory of the burden.
And that's the way I think of the grieving saint.
So the grieving saint don't want to be the person that's hurting people.
(09:20):
So they get hurt and they understand hurt people, hurt people, like I said before, but they refuse to become the person that hurt them and carry that on.
All righty.
Now the next one is number three.
I would say this person is called the bounder healer.
This is what I call this, this person.
Okay.
And their core traits are emotional intelligence, self-protective.
(09:46):
They are clear communicators.
They experience healing with.
Work.
Okay.
And they value peace over performance.
Now, the boundary healer doesn't forgive automatically.
Okay? Now we're getting into where they have boundaries.
So we're reaching the healer that actually understand their boundaries.
That's why I call this healer the boundary healer.
(10:08):
So their healing doesn't come that easy as the other two, and they're not about to perform peace for your comfort.
This archetype has done the inner work, they've bled, healed, stitched up their soul, and now they guard it like it is sacred because.
Believe it or not, your boundaries are sacred, and I don't think we talk about that enough.
There may be another podcast episode, but your boundaries are now, they are not soft, but structured.
(10:33):
They are the roses with thorns.
This healer, they knows healing doesn't mean access.
They forgive when it's real, not when it's, their forgiveness is clear-eyed, not clouded by guilt or spiritual guilt tripping.
This archetype is shaped by.
Therapy.
They're shaped by their boundaries, their spiritual awakening with self-knowledge.
(10:54):
They've unlearned people pleasing.
They've learned to read their body's nose.
They've learned where their boundary strongly lies, and it comes from a place of trauma.
A lot of times they've studied themselves and they understand that what they've built, somebody is trying to break down their walls that can be easily forgiven for them.
(11:15):
All right.
And I would say the philosophy they live by is, I can forgive you, but I don't have to let you near me ever again.
So once you cross their boundaries, you might have access to them, but.
Not as soon as, as if the wound is fresh.
No, the bounder healers, you need to give them time.
Those are the ones that they gotta have time to sniff you out.
(11:39):
Again.
You may need to get a reentry pass.
Uh, but uh, like the other two.
Forgivers.
They're like, no, ma'am, I don't have to let you back into my life.
I can forgive you and love you from afar.
That's the way I think of them when they say, Hey, I forgive you and I love you from afar.
That is the boundary healer, because to them, forgiveness is not about, reconciling.
(11:59):
It's about their space.
They know that closure is an inside job.
So before they can really, really forgive you, they need that time and space from you to really heal.
All right? And how they respond to harm is they pause, they assess.
They don't ghost, but they will cut off the energy that had hurt them.
If they forgive, it's on their term and in their timing and usually with new rules.
(12:24):
Alright? They believe in accountability, not amnesia.
So it's not like, forgive and forget.
When I think of forgive and forget, that would be the divine forgiver.
And maybe even the grievance saint, but this, no, they, they are not about the forgive and forget.
All right, so that is what I would call it, the bounded healer.
(12:46):
Now we're gonna move on to the just warrior.
So when my friends say that I am a hard forgiver, I believe they're talking about this part of me right now.
The characteristics or the core traits of the just Warrior is justice.
They are morally grounded, they're protective of others.
They're bold, honest, and clear, and they are deeply principled.
(13:10):
Right? And so I was thinking about.
This as I was coming down this list going from the most to the, least forgiving.
So when I got to four, I was like, okay, this feels right.
This feels right.
So I began to, think about myself as the just warrior forgiver.
Now, the just warrior don't play about fairness.
All right? Their forgiveness come only after the scales have been balanced, not before.
(13:35):
They do not conflate healing with.
Silence and they refuse to forgive just to make other people comfortable.
This archetype stands at the altar of truth with their sword drawn.
They hold their pain in one hand and a principle in the other.
Their love is fierce.
Their forgiveness is conditional, not because they're cold, but because they honor what was broken.
(13:56):
And this is true.
Just Warriors are shaped by injustice, systematic, interpersonal, ancestral wrongs.
They've seen harm go unchecked and unchallenged, and they vowed never to repeat that cycle.
They often merged through activism, rebellion, and a personal awakening to oppression and harm.
Now their forgiveness philosophy is, I forgive when the truth shows up.
(14:21):
Not before.
Alright, so.
The just warrior don't play that, don't play that shit, right.
They forgive when there's hardcore evidence that you want to change and you can explain why the harm was done, where were you in that head space and that it, it can't come without those tough conversation.
(14:42):
For them, forgiveness without change is betrayal.
Accountability is the price of peace.
They won't accept crumbs and call it closure.
Now how they respond to harm with confrontation, with clarity.
They named the harm and demand it be seen, acknowledged, and addressed.
They may forgive, but only after a repair, and if no repair is offered, they will not.
(15:05):
Fake grace.
Their silence is a stance.
Their distance is a decision.
So I guess I'm more of a just warrior forgiver because as I was writing this down and thinking about all the traits that I was gonna put in the just warrior forgiver, it fits me in a way I forgive very much.
So now we're gonna go to the next level, which is the scorched one.
(15:29):
All right.
The scorched one.
The core traits of the scorch ones is they are raw.
Guarded.
They are quietly wounded.
They are emotionally complex, sensitive, but cut off in between hope and heartbreak.
Now, the scorch one wants to forgive, but they can't.
Not yet.
Maybe not ever.
This archetype is still living in a burn.
(15:51):
The apology that never came, the closure that never landed, and even if it did, it might be too late.
They are the ashes of what was once bright.
Their silence isn't petty, but it is protective.
They want to let go, but the wounds keep whispering.
They carry heartbreaking.
Their bones like old weather.
They don't lash out.
They don't speak often, but their soul remembers everything.
(16:15):
This archetype is shaped by deep betrayal, ghosting, gaslighting.
Family, T arrangement, cruelty, where there should have been cared.
Many of them once trusted, easily gave freely until they were burned.
Now they live inside their scorch ground.
Their forgiveness philosophy would be, I.
They might say something like, I've tried, I swear I've tried, but the hurt still talks louder than my healing.
(16:42):
Their forgiveness is not a refusal, it's a process that just keeps breaking, and this is where it gets really, really dark.
they vanish not to punish, but to protect themselves.
They might stay silent for years.
They may revisit the wound privately over and over.
Sometimes their forgiveness is whisper.
Were to the stars, never to the person.
It's grief, not revenge, and it's survival for them.
(17:05):
I actually know somebody, this archetype came from somebody.
I would consider it the way they try to get over things.
But can't as them being scorched.
So that's why I called this forgiver, the scorched one, because I knew somebody who was really trying to get past, they hurt, but they just couldn't.
And it wasn't that they wanted to hold onto this pain.
(17:26):
I could tell they really didn't.
but we all have our own internal journey.
So this one is dedicated to that person when I thought about the scorch one.
And so, yeah, and I still get sad kind of when I think about how they held onto things.
But I.
Yeah.
Um, moving on to the last and the final forgiving archetype, and I'll call this one the eternal judge.
(17:51):
Now, this is the least forgiving their court traits is they are mor morally firm.
They're unyielding, they detach from sentiment.
They are.
Furiously discerning and they are spiritually protective.
Now, the eternal judge forgives no one, okay? Not because they lack love, because they honor the truth more.
(18:12):
This archetype believes that some betrayals deserves distance.
Some harms don't get healing, and some people lose the right to be forgiving.
They are the cold moonlight on a battlefield.
They remember everything.
Thing not to carry the hate, but to prevent harm from rewriting history.
They are the ancestors who refuse to forget.
They are not cruel, but they are clear.
(18:33):
Forgiveness to them is surrendering, and they do not surrender.
All right.
Often they are shaped by generational trauma.
Identity shattering and betrayed, or years of watching harm be excused.
These are the survivors who said never again.
They become activists of harm and they protect their memory like a scarred law.
(18:57):
I would say their forgiving philosophy is they may say something like, I don't forgive because I believe in consequences.
Some things should be remembered, not released.
They are not angry.
I would say that they are a principle.
Forgiveness in their eyes can whitewash the truth and they refuse to whitewash history.
They respond to harm easily by cutting you off completely.
(19:19):
No warning, no call, no reunion.
Their silence is the power.
Their distance is their protection.
If they speak, it's often once clearly and final.
After that, they're gone and they don't look back.
Alright, so those are the six archetypes and the.
Eternal judge, you don't wanna be on the end of that.
(19:41):
You don't want to ever have to look for forgiveness from somebody with that type of, forgiveness, philosophy.
All right, so those are the six archetypes I came with.
So now that you met them, all the six faces of forgiveness that I create from the vine to done.
You may say, I want you to ask yourself this.
Where do I live on the spectrum? What shaped that? And do I want to stay there? Because again, we have the flexibility to change our mind.
(20:09):
No archetype is better than the other.
I also wanna put that out there.
They're just different places, different truth, different ways.
Our souls respond to harm.
You can be a divine with your child.
A grieving with your ex, a boundary healer with your family.
A just warrior with your politics, a scorched one from that one friend who betrayed you and an eternal judge with somebody who abused you.
(20:33):
It is all valid and it is all sacred, and you are still a master.
Peace.
All right my friend.
I'm so glad I got that out there.
Again, I know my episodes are random, but if you wanted, was ever wondering what type of forgiver you are, I am glad you listened to this episode and I hope you're able to find an archetype that you can relate to.
(20:56):
And if you was listening and say, Hey, there's still something missing, let me know.
Reach out if that that hits your spirit.
I want you to tag me and say London.
What about this? Come up with your own archetype and we can add it to the list because I'm sure there could be more.
And another friend who I shared these archetypes with before I.
recorded this podcast episode, let me know.
(21:18):
He was like, Hey, you know, again, we, uh, we're not stuck.
We could be those at any given moment, and that is true.
These archetypes could fluctuate.
You can actually be a eternal judge, believe it or not.
But one day decide that that may be too heavy for you and swiftly switch to something.
I'm not saying you're gonna jump up to the divine forgiver, but move up the scale and be a little bit more forgiving.
(21:42):
My goal is to, as a just worry, forgiver at this moment, this time in my life, to move towards the divine forgiver and let things roll off my back like water on a dust bag.
Alright guys.
Thank you.
For spending this time with me today.
And as always, I love you guys.
(22:03):
You guys are, you know, you're rock stars.
I'm, I'm, I'm really glad that I get to do this and have this podcast and have an audience to listen to me.
So until next time, rock stars, stay soft, stay wild, and stay becoming as my.
Good, Michelle Obama would say.
Now this has been the Hood of Debutante podcast again.
(22:25):
I am London Bambi, and let me let you know I forgive when it's real.
Alright, I'm signing off.
Peace.
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