Facing Fear: What’s Holding You Back from Healing and Connection? (Episode #75)

Facing Fear:

What’s Holding You Back from Healing and Connection?

Episode Summary:

In this episode of The Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn discuss a powerful and universal emotion—fear—and how it shapes our decisions, relationships, and personal growth. From the fear of being seen, rejected, or betrayed, to the fear of facing consequences or being alone, fear often acts as both a protector and a prison.

Dr. Skinner opens with a personal story from his teenage years rogueing potatoes—a vivid metaphor for rooting out danger before it spreads. Together, he and MaryAnn explore how fear manifests physiologically through the autonomic nervous system, how it can become embedded through trauma or cultural messaging, and how it often drives behavior unconsciously.

The episode dives into:

• How fear shows up in relationships after betrayal

• Why deception, gaslighting, and shame are often rooted in fear

• How childhood and intergenerational fear shape our worldview

• The difference between healthy fear and chronic fear

• The importance of boundaries as a path to safety and freedom

• A practical process for confronting fear: Find it, Face it, Flip it

• The value of fear as a gift that invites curiosity and awareness

Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their own fears, identify where they might be living in survival mode, and consider what conversations or choices fear might be preventing them from having.

Resources Mentioned:

• Polyvagal Theory – Dr. Stephen Porges: Understanding how the autonomic nervous system influences our sense of safety and connection.

• Internal Family Systems (IFS) – Dr. Richard Schwartz: Fear as a protector part within us that seeks to avoid pain or danger.

• Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) – Dr. Sue Johnson: How anxiety and fear impact attachment bonds and communication.

• Survivor’s Club by Ben Sherwood – A book on resilience and how people survive traumatic events like plane crashes.

• Recovery Capital Framework – Key elements for long-term recovery from addiction and compulsive behaviors.

• 12-Step Groups – The value of community, accountability, and confronting fear in healing from addiction or betrayal.

• Trauma-Informed Therapy – When fear is rooted in unresolved trauma, professional support can be vital for recovery.