Don't Let Their "Rubber Time" Break Your "Nerve Strings"

Everyone has a "rubber" friend and the frustration of having to wait is a universal feeling. But why does someone else's tardiness have the power to destroy our peace? In this Inner Sanctuary podcast episode, host BAC will explore with you that the root of discomfort lies not in their actions, but in our own attachment to expectations. We'll learn to "take back control" of our mood and transform "dead time" while waiting into "golden time" for ourselves. Listen along to find freedom even when your best friend is still on their way.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Welcome back to the "Inner Sanctuary" podcast channel.

(00:04):
I'm BAC.
We British have a small obsession with queuing and punctuality.
We consider being late a personal offense of serious magnitude,
ranking just below making tea incorrectly.
So, having a close friend whose watch seems to run on a completely different time zone.

(00:26):
is truly a test for the soul.
I believe all of us have at least one friend like this.
Do you have a close friend where every time you meet,
you have to add an extra 30 minutes of "waiting time" to your schedule?
That unspoken "lateness tax.
" Today, we'll talk about this universal struggle.

(00:49):
Why can something as small as waiting so effectively ruin our mood?
And is there a way to achieve "supreme peace" even when your friend is still.
fumbling around looking for their car keys at home?
Picture this familiar scene.
You arrive at the coffee shop right on time.

(01:10):
You choose a nice seat, order a drink.
5 minutes pass, you scroll your phone.
15 minutes pass, you start getting a bit restless.
30 minutes pass.
The moment the clock hand moves past the appointed time by just a few minutes,
a court session opens right in your mind.

(01:33):
You're simultaneously the prosecutor, the lawyer, and the judge.
The prosecution, i.
e.

,your anger,begins the accusation (01:42):
"Your Honor,the defendant clearly doesn't respect the plaintiff!
The defendant treats the plaintiff's time like garbage!
This is the 17th time this year!
This is evidence that this relationship isn't valued!
" The defense, i.

(02:03):
e.

, your attempt to understand, weakly argues (02:04):
"Your Honor, perhaps.
perhaps the defendant got stuck in traffic.
or had something urgent come up.
" And the judge, i.
e.

, your wounded ego, quickly bangs the gavel and delivers the verdict (02:20):
"The defendant is guilty!

Sentence (02:27):
The plaintiff will be resentful,irritated,
and make the upcoming meeting as heavy as a storm cloud!
" An entire grand tragedy plays out in your head,while in real life,
you're just sitting staring at a half-empty cup of coffee.
Bit disproportionate, isn't it?

The truth is (02:48):
Our annoyance isn't because they're late.
It comes from our attachment to the expectation that "they must be on time.
" We're giving them the power to disrupt our peace with just a clock.
Our mind is resisting an obvious truth that "our friend is always late,

(03:08):
" instead of accepting it as part of their character,
like how they enjoy durian or don't like horror movies.
So do we keep giving that friend the power to judge our mood?
Or can we declare "court adjourned" ourselves?
It turns out, freedom isn't when your friend miraculously becomes punctual.

(03:31):
Freedom is when they're still late.
but your heart remains calm.
Imagine your peace as a fortress.
For so long, you've given that friend a remote control to open the gates.
They arrive on time, gates open, you're happy.
They arrive late, gates close, you're annoyed.

(03:53):
True freedom is when you.
take back that remote control.
The fortress gates are always open from within,decided by you,
regardless of whether anyone outside is running late.
So how do you reclaim that remote control?

First (04:11):
Prepare a "Waiting Toolkit.
" This is an intentional action, almost an elegantly rebellious act.
Prepare a "waiting toolkit.
" It could be a book you've always wanted to read,
a podcast playlist,a notebook to jot down random thoughts.
When you have plans with that friend, bring this "toolkit" with a small sense of joy.

(04:37):
You know you're about to have 30 "golden" minutes for yourself, an unexpected gift.

Second (04:43):
Welcome the "Familiar Guest.
" When the feeling of annoyance starts knocking, don't fight it.
Try welcoming it like a familiar guest.
"Oh, hello anger, haven't seen you in a while.
Come on in.

" Observe how it changes your body (05:01):
do your shoulders tense up, does your jaw clench?
Just observe, don't judge, don't try to chase it away.
You'll find this guest is quite tactless—sitting there with no one to chat with,
it will eventually get bored and leave on its own.

(05:21):
And trust me,this will definitely be more effective than sending a series of messages with question marks to your friend.
When you transform waiting time into time for yourself,
their lateness is no longer an annoyance,but rather an opportunity to slow down,
a precious pause in busy life.

(05:43):
Finally,the secret to no longer being annoyed while waiting isn't changing your friend,
but changing our relationship with "waiting time.
" When we stop seeing it as "dead time" and turn it into "living time" for ourselves,
we've completely reclaimed control of our mood.

(06:04):
And something interesting will happen.
When your friend arrives and sees you happily reading instead of frowning at your watch,
they'll probably feel more relaxed,and the meeting will become much higher quality.
Thank you for listening to today's Inner Sanctuary podcast episode.

(06:24):
I'm BAC.
Do you have a "rubber" friend like this?
And what's your "waiting toolkit"?
Share in the comments.
If you found this podcast helpful,please share it with someone who's always waiting,
or even with that friend who's always late too.
Don't forget to follow "Inner Sanctuary" so you won't miss upcoming episodes.

(06:50):
Once again, thank you.
Wishing you a peaceful day.