October 12, 2025 • 33 mins
From the provocative title to the deeper mission, this conversation reframes S.E.X. as Self-Examination—a daily practice that heals, clarifies, and empowers. Jesse and Bernie welcome author Laura to unpack why couples react to her book cover, how “dots between the letters” signal an acronym, and why the real work is interior: accountability, honesty, and courage. Laura shares formative moments—silence as a coping mechanism, speaking up to stop harm, building safe spaces—and the fruit test: your life reveals your truth. Bernie adds a prosecutor’s lens on routine self-audits; Jesse connects faith and purpose after leaving the entertainment grind. Together, they map the stakes: unaddressed guilt, health impacts, family systems, and cultural pressure to “wait until Monday” to change. By the end, you’ll have a blueprint for reflective living—SWOT for the soul, grace for the journey, action for today. Listen now and share with someone who’s ready to look within.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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(00:01):
Coming up on this editionof the Joint Podcast
side, I'm telling
you, the husbands, the husbandsalways say, you're right.
You can never have too much.
But the wires are like, yes you can.
Yes you can.
So
at the intersection of logic and truth,
(00:24):
this is the logical lawyer andit's that part exploring legals.
Social and cultural issues withinsight, clarity and purpose,
truth and logic, sharp and clearinsight and hope we bring it here
(00:46):
where truth needs, logic and action.
It's the logical lawyerand it's that part.
Welcome to the talk of the Times, a jointproduction of the logical lawyer with.
Host Bernie Brown and the It's that partPodcast hosted by yours Truly, Jesse Lee
Hammonds and although we approach thevarious items and persons of interest.
(01:11):
From different backgrounds professionally.
Bernie being a prosecutor and formerLos Angeles, California Assistant City
Attorney, as well as a Hall of Fame memberof the John m Langston Bar Association
of Los Angeles, just to name a coupleof headliners and me, a long time.
Former manager of human resourcesand corporate assets at the Fortune
(01:33):
500 Company at and t and formerRadio and International Club Jock.
We have a shared commitment toclarity, logic, lawfulness, relevance,
as well as truth in every fact.
All brought together with realconversations amongst ourselves
and with others about the times inwhich we have and currently live.
(01:57):
It's the talk of the times.
You can see it.
Last time I was here I was with my buddy.
Yeah, I know, I know.
I was thinking that same thing that, uh,
Dr. Chaco.
Yeah.
Dr. Chaco.
Yeah.
Around this time.
Huh?
Yeah,
he's
great.
Every time it was around, it wasaround September because of September,
(02:17):
October when we was getting readyfor the campaign, I was campaigning.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
As a matter of fact.
And in fact, I was going to alludeto that, uh, that I was looking at
that your campaign picture, you know?
Mm-hmm.
Just a few minutes ago.
Um, but yeah.
Uh, in fact, on my phone,you know, Al on Apples.
It will present memories to you.
(02:38):
Mm-hmm.
Every day.
'cause I've taken, I don't know, hundredsof photos and videos of him every day.
He, his pictures on my phone, you know?
You know, and, and it's, I mean,it's real cool, you know, uh,
'cause it just makes me, you know,reminisce about, you know, you know
(02:58):
everything, you know, I mean, we were.
Uh, you know, we weredoing this constantly.
I was speaking with him pretty much almostevery day in one way or another, you know?
Mm-hmm.
But what I was gonna show you, Iwas ready for you this morning.
You see that
Uhhuh?
(03:18):
What's that?
That's a
20 bill.
That's an Andrew Jackson?
Yes.
Uh, that was, that was for you.
I was going to pay for, oh.
Because, oh yeah.
You were
there this morning.
Uh, yeah, I, I was there.
I I, I'm there, I'm there every Sunday.
Um, but, uh, I was, I was movingand grooving, but I was there.
I know.
(03:38):
And, uh, so yeah, I said, I'm,I'm ready because I usually
don't carry cash, you know?
Yeah, yeah.
It is very, very rare.
Um, and I was actually trying to,I put it in an email to, to Bernie.
I was actually going to send him one, butit wasn't going to get there before today.
I ordered
one on Amazon and I'm still waiting.
(04:00):
It should get here in a couple of days.
Oh wow.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's what it was telling me.
Well, thank
you first of all for purchasing it.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
Writing it.
It's, uh, it's a lot tounpack in the beginning.
I will say that.
But it all makes sense.
Well, you know
what, though?
Now, now that's, that's a, that'sa good spot to actually begin.
Is it in here?
Huh?
(04:20):
What was that?
Have we started?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Basically, yes.
I mean, because you know, production isall the time, all the time production.
That's, that's right.
I forgot
all the time.
So, and then I know that, you know,because I've read it in the book that I
know that many people, when they look atthe title, they feel some kind of way.
(04:45):
Mm-hmm.
Oh my gosh.
Yes.
So, so husbands and wives are arguing andI just have to say, Hey, not about that.
Well, yeah.
Well, well then elaborate on that.
You know, what, uh, what brought you to.
Uh, create such a provocative title.
I'll, I'll use the wordprovocative, you know?
Yeah, yeah.
Uh, and then what kind of reactions,um, do you typically get after the heads
(05:13):
pop off and, you know, you have to pick'em up off the floor and all of that?
Well, you know, um, like I said, husbandsand wives, um, husbands will look at
the title first and they'll say, seeds.
See, I told you, and then there'sbeen wives who've looked at
it without the husband around.
(05:35):
Yes you can.
Yes you can.
Mm-hmm.
And so I said, wait a minute,are you looking at the
parentheses in, at the bottom?
And then they'll look realclosely and they'll be like, oh.
And so we've, um, yeah, it's beeninteresting because again, it,
you can never have too much sex.
That just takes you in adifferent direction anyway.
Right.
But then when you look at the smallprint underneath the self-examination,
(05:57):
that's when people are like, oh, youknow, 'cause it kind, it's almost
like it deflates them because theywanted to have the conversation.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
And um, but I said,okay, well we can talk.
You know, but I'm, that'snot what this is about.
That's
one of your next booksgoing down the road.
Right, right.
Right.
Okay.
Right.
For, for for Saints, you know?
Right.
(06:17):
For the Saints.
Right.
Sex.
Sex for Saints.
Sex for Saints.
Hey, there you go.
Right there.
Write that down.
Well, my logical analysisleads to the conclusion that.
Under either analysis, it is acorrect, it is a correct proposition.
Mm-hmm.
Shall we say you cannever have too much sex?
(06:39):
Yep.
Or self-examination.
Yep, exactly.
Whichever it may be.
And if you look at the, the, the subtitleat the bottom, they, they don't get, they
don't look at that either, because there'sa subtile at the bottom that says, stop
blaming others and take responsibility.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
So, again, they bypass all of that becausethey still wanna talk about, you know, the
first word and it's all caps, you know?
(07:02):
And I tell people, 'cause you know,growing up, depending on where you
grew up, you know when you take a wordand you put dots in between, that lets
you know that it means, it's stands.
It's an acronym for something.
But again, depending on who'sreading it, that's the first
thing that their mind goes to.
Mm-hmm.
Versus, oh, that's an acronym justright off the bat, you know, it's
an acronym by the dots in between.
(07:23):
But yeah, you're right, Mr. Burn.
You're correct.
Yes.
Never,
never too much.
My wife wouldn't agree, but
has,
I'm telling you, the husbands, thehusbands always say, you're right.
You can never have too much.
But the wires are like, yes you can.
Yes you can.
That would be a nicepodcast though, right there.
(07:44):
Well, keeping on with that.
Was there a moment in your own life?
Uh oh.
We'll just use the, uh, the analogythere, uh uh or the acronym.
Of self-examination, uh, thatchanged everything for you?
Well, yeah.
I, you know, I think, um,there's a question in the book.
I forget which chapter it was.
(08:06):
It might have been chapter three,which is my favorite chapter.
Um, I think it's, uh, it's,it was, it's your fault.
It's my, I'm the.
What is this?
Uh, it's the sex talk.
It's my fault and it's their fault.
Right?
Right.
And
so at, at some point when I was,I think I was looking for a job or
something and I wanted to reallyhone in where I needed to be.
And, uh, a friend of mine had recommended,you know, you take your top three.
(08:30):
Skills or your interests or thebest place that you know, that
you fit different genres or yourcharacteristics, and then you can
kind of hone in where you wanna work.
Mm-hmm.
And so, um, so I, I asked about 10 of myclosest friends that I knew, that knew
me outside of church, knew me outside of.
(08:50):
And then I asked some peoplethat also worked for me and they
just started breaking it down.
And they were, some of the, some of themhad similar, most of 'em had similarities,
uh, basically what I'm doing now for a jobor, uh, counseling or something like that.
But there was one where, um, a friendof mine said, you know, I tend to be.
I can't think of the,I like I'd be shut off.
(09:11):
Like I tend to act like stuffis not happening and it's
probably a defense mechanism.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
It's almost like, you know, ifyou ignore it, it'll go away.
And um, when she said that, I really tookthat to heart and I said, you know what?
I really do, I do that.
I still do it, but it took mewriting the book and really just, um,
(09:32):
again, doing some self-examination.
Like it's almost like if the threeof us are in a room and let's
just say you two get into a fightbecause I don't like violence.
Mm-hmm.
I will shut down and just look forsomething else to do versus trying
to stop you guys from fighting.
And so I could have prevented, youknow, somebody throwing a blow if I'd
(09:55):
have just sat between you and said,Hey, this is not the way to handle it.
But what I do is I would, likeI said, I would shut down and
I'd be like, you know what?
I'm getting outta here 'cause thisdon't have nothing to do with me.
But there's, there's reasons whyI think God allows us to be in
certain situations, but to be, tobe privy to certain conversations
as well as different activities.
And that could have been a perfectopportunity, like I said, to, to stop.
(10:18):
And, hey, let's talk about this.
We're grown.
We can do this a lot better.
Versus me just shuttingdown and to protect myself.
Mm-hmm.
And then walk away.
And so when she said that, Ireally did start thinking about
the times I'd done that as a, youknow, growing up and then even.
Now as a grown, grown adult,when, when do I do that?
(10:40):
And so I've, I've had to, thisbook has really made me take a look
at my own self within and see howam I contributing to the drama?
Because even sometimes beingsilent is being okay with
different things that are going on.
Versus saying somethingright, and so that's that.
Definitely that statement played a rolein me really examining myself and like,
(11:05):
okay, how many things have you sat byand allowed to happen when you could've
maybe whispered in somebody's ear?
I may not have to get directly involved,but I can say something to somebody
else versus just, you know, doing this,you know, closing, plugging my ears.
And closing my eyes.
That's the here see no evil.
See no evil here.
No evil.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
(11:25):
Yeah.
No evil.
You, you, your,
your coping mechanism.
Exactly.
That was a coping.
Yep.
Yep.
Well, I really, the premise of yourbook, I really think that you just
can't get enough stuff evaluation.
Self-analysis, uh, and I think it shouldbe a part like you suggested in your book
that a part of a daily routine mm-hmm.
(11:49):
Where you look at yourselfand evaluate yourself.
I know as a child, I, as a youngadult, I started evaluating
myself very early and, uh.
Uh, trying to evaluate howto become a better person.
Mm-hmm.
Like you, like you suggested howto address certain situations.
(12:11):
Mm-hmm.
And, and how to advance myself,make myself, uh, uh, more successful
in the workplace, uh, and in life.
So, uh, that your book is justfantastic in the analysis.
I agree.
Yes.
Uh, uh, of, of life.
It, it's a, it's a piece of wisdom.
(12:33):
Mm-hmm.
And you know, Mr. Bernie,thank you, Mr. Bernie.
To your point, you know, as a kid, somy mother was raised by the, what they
would call the great generation, andthen she became the silent generation.
So to speak that kind of life into usas kids to say, you know, look in the
mirror, put your shoulders back, that kindof look at within, was that your fault?
(12:57):
Because that ball, whatever, whatever,you know, we didn't get those ours.
Ours was do as you say, not as I do.
Um, yes ma'am.
No ma'am.
You know, those kind of things.
We weren't allowed to sit upunderground people and have
those type of conversations.
Um, but I think honestly, if ourgeneration, if I said my mother's
generation had kind of spoke that into us,I think some, some of our family members
(13:22):
did, I'll say in my household we didn't.
Um, and it might've been something thathappened with them, you know, but in
their, when they were being raised, but mygrandfather and my grandmother didn't say.
Those type of things.
Like you said, you, how manyelementary kids do you know are
self doing self examination?
Now, if they're in a sport, maybethat's something they do, right?
(13:42):
Like maybe I'm holding the backwrong, or maybe how am I holding my
shoulder when I throw the football?
That kind of thing.
Yeah, but for like life and justyour personhood, not too many
elementary school kids are doing that.
Even, even in junior high.
It's a, they're probably doingit for the wrong reasons,
probably,
you know, to be popular versus.
The better themselves.
And then when they get to high school,there's somebody who probably whispered
(14:05):
in their ear, say, Hey, let's, let'sfight for the, the greater good.
But it's not a, it's only a handful.
So I like, I like, I like thatwe need to do more of that.
We need to probably talk to our youngerones about doing more self-examination
now.
Those are absolute pearls of wisdom.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, it just takes me back my,through my younger years when.
(14:26):
When, uh, I would be sitting there andI, I, you know, I don't want to talk
about it, but I have to say, okay,I'm gonna admit something on the air.
I should never admit, yearsago I used to smoke marijuana.
Okay.
Ooh,
ooh.
(14:47):
And there would be times when Iwould just sit back and I do not
allocate the use of marijuana, right?
But there would be times when I'djust sit back and just self evaluate.
Mm-hmm.
A daily quiet time.
I didn't do it daily, but a quiet time.
You don't need marijuana to do that, but I
(15:07):
maybe this time every day to sitback and, and be quiet and listen
to yourself and analyze yourself.
And that is a lifelong,a lifelong adventure.
I know as an old person, I'mstill evaluating everything.
No.
First of all, you're notold, you are seasoned.
No.
Okay.
You are seasoned.
(15:27):
Be like you said.
And then speaking of theseasoning, the older we get.
The more seasoned we get because we'velearned from the, the past, even if
it was a year ago or six months ago.
Mm-hmm.
Um, just like I was saying in thebeginning of the book, there's a lot
to unpack, but it's there for a reasonso that then people can see how I
started to try to use, I, in the bookI talk about, I only started using
(15:50):
wisdom like in the last 12 years.
Right.
And, and you with my age, you'd belike, really in the last 12 years.
But that, but it took alot of self-examination.
I had to really look at myself,what I, the type of work I do,
different ministries, uh, thecommunity, all that kind of stuff.
I had all, everything in thisbook can be applied to whatever.
(16:11):
You do?
Yes.
And I had to look at myself firstbefore I could give it to anybody else.
So.
Well, I love the way you, you go into, uh,certain things like it's just so broad.
It's it's diet and it's exercise and it's.
Laziness and blaming others.
And it's, it is everything.
(16:31):
It's the broad perspective of life.
Mm-hmm.
That you conduct an analysis,a self-analysis in, in all
areas of life, which is really.
Quite pervasive and, and and refreshing.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Well, you know, two, two things,uh, I'll make a confession too.
(16:56):
Hey, hey.
That's what it's about.
This.
They gonna read the book and everybodygonna be telling on themselves
what you're doing way back when
Smoke.
Oh, no.
You know, I mean, uh, I was, Iwas Jesse St. John the, the dj.
(17:22):
No, but, uh, you know,
and I came to a point that I, Isaid, look, I can't serve to God.
That's, that's one of the reasons whyI'm not in the entertainment, uh, uh,
business, um, you know, full forcethese days because I made that choice.
I said.
I'm, I'm not gonna go that way.
I see that lifestyle.
(17:42):
I've been in the lifestyleand, um, I, I just can't do it.
You know?
I, I just couldn't do it andI just stopped, you know?
Uh, and so.
You know, I raised my hand to that,you know, as far as this, I, I examined
myself there, you know, I mean, noone had to tell me that, that just,
(18:04):
that was between me and the Lord.
And now, and now everybodyelse, you know, but
you, Ray, uh, you, you say.
Yeah, in, in this book that it mightmake people want to apologize to
themselves and to others and even God.
Uh, why do we, why do you thinkwe carry so much hidden guilt?
(18:28):
Well, I, again, great question.
I think, um.
And a lot of it has to dowith how you were raised.
Like Mr. Bernie was saying,he was doing self-examination
as an elementary school kid.
Um, depending on your householdor your school and the term that
they use now is safe spaces, right?
Mm-hmm.
Maybe there weren't a lot of safespaces for people to come to and
(18:52):
confess what they've done Right.
Um, and no, no reflection onthe church that does confession.
I'm talking about just.
Going to somebody else and or an adultand saying, Hey, this is what happened.
This is what I messed up.
Uh, also I think it has to do withwe don't, we don't like consequences.
Mm. We are human.
(19:13):
Um, we don't like negativeconsequences or what we perceive with.
To be negative consequences.
Um, even like for me, just like yousaid in the book where I talk about,
uh, I would go back to my youngerself and tell her to fight for herself
when, when things were going left and.
Depending on what the issue was withanybody, you hold onto stuff for so
(19:38):
long because you feel like if you letit out, it may hurt somebody else.
Let's just, I think in that, there'sa part in there where I talk, I
think I talked about I was molestedor something, and you know, you
hold onto that as a kid, right?
Because you don't wanna tell 'causewell, number one, they're either
gonna believe you or they're not.
Mm-hmm.
And then if you find out who it is.
Then it depends.
(19:58):
If it's a family member or a closefamily friend, then it just, it
could just mess up a whole, it, itcould just explode in a way where
it don't seem like it's your fault.
'cause not everybody in thefamily's mad at each other or the
neighbors aren't getting along.
Or just even let's just, even in thepolitical climate that we're in, right?
Uh, you don't tell,then everything's good.
(20:19):
It's almost like it didn't happen.
Like just let it go andeventually it'll go away.
But as soon as people starttalking, it causes friction.
Mm-hmm.
And for those, whether the politicalarena, like I said, social church.
In your job, whatever it is, when youhold onto stuff like that, especially
if it's something really importantthat's vital to the success or the
(20:42):
demise of someone's either life ortheir career, that's a heavy burden.
Heavy, I think.
And I think we think, andI'll say for myself, I always
felt like I could handle it.
Because we were raised not to talk, right?
You didn't air your dirty laundry.
You, you took it and you justheld it until you, they died.
And then you go to the grave and you justconfess it there and leave it in the grass
(21:05):
and hoping it's not with you anymore.
But that's really not true.
Um, I, I venture to say that whoeverlistens to this afterwards, it, it
won't take long for something topop up in their, their heads, what
they've been carrying for decades.
Uh, I mean like decades upon decades.
And, um, unfortunately, some of thisstuff people take to their grave, right?
Um, and it causes health issues, youknow, but I think for the most part,
(21:27):
the reason why they hold onto it is, is,is because of that, all those reasons.
Um, and it's unfortunate because again,depends on how your household is, and
even some cultures you don't talk, right?
Mm-hmm.
You just don't, you justkeep it to yourself.
Um, we'll do, let God sort it out.
You know, in the rapture, they don't,they don't, uh, they won't allow women,
(21:48):
men, boys and girls, whoever, to saywhat they need to say, but when they
hold it in for so long, it and healthproblems comes with that as well.
You know, the stress of holding certainthings in and not telling, you know, so.
I see you.
Your book is a mental health book.
It's all that wrapped intoone mental health wellness.
(22:10):
Uhhuh, excuse me,
this is, yeah.
Mental and physical.
I shouldn't limit it to, mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
All encompassing.
Yeah.
You were earlier.
I wanna go back to somethingyou said, Mr. Bernie.
You were talking about, uh, exercisingand her eating and things like that.
I mean, you know.
It is always Wait till Monday, right?
(22:32):
I'm gonna eat better or I'mgonna start exercise on Monday.
Why do we wait till Monday?
Why do we, I mean, it's Wednesday.
Why do we wait till Monday or
New Year's?
Or New Year's?
I'm gonna start the new year off.
Right?
It's, it's the, it's the same thing.
We make excuses and of coursethere, there are some legitimate
mental health issues that are there.
(22:52):
There are some legitimate physical healthchallenges and some legitimate just.
Social awkwardness that peoplejust may have for what, you
know, that that contributes towhy those things don't get done.
But for those who are not really dealingwith those things, some of it is laziness.
I'll, for myself, I've always been activeand I'm, I'm not gonna blame it on the
(23:15):
pandemic 'cause we had plenty of timethen we just had no time on our hands.
But you know what I keptsaying, Ugh, it's too cold.
When the winter came, it was cold.
I can't get up that early.
It's cold.
Wait till it get warm.
Well, then when it got warm,something else would distract me
and I'd get involved with that.
I said, you know what,I'll go at seven o'clock.
Nobody's working, but we'll justsit here in front of the tv.
Everything I had was here.
(23:35):
I bought an exercise bike.
I bought the stationary bike,and it's over there collecting.
So it's mo lack of motivation.
Some of it is just laziness too.
You know, we like anything,we really don't wanna give up
certain comforts to, to do better.
'cause we get, we are comfortablein that, in that space.
Um, whether it's, you know, wellness ormental health or whatever it is, it's.
(23:58):
There's a comfortable, and it's evensomewhat of a safe space too, to just,
you know, I'll just hold this to myself.
It, we'll get to it eventually.
Yeah.
So your self-examination isan honest self-examination.
Mm-hmm.
You gotta be honest with you.
You have to be truthful
and you, and if you can't be honestwith yourself, I think somebody's
(24:20):
even said this a long time ago.
If you can't be honest with yourself,you who, are you gonna be honest with?
Facts?
That's facts right there.
Now, you know, on that pointright there of truth, um, how do
we know when our outer life hasdrifted from our inner truth?
(24:40):
Hmm.
That's a deep question.
Um, I would say by the fruit.
Hmm.
Um, apple don't grow.
That's biblical.
Apple doesn't grow oranges.
That's biblical.
And I have an orange tree,which I'm very proud of.
But if Apple started sprouting.
I had have to say, let's cut the trunkopen 'cause something's not right.
(25:01):
Right,
right.
It's been producing oranges for50, 60 years and all of a sudden
you wanna come up with apples.
Um, but you know, speaking oftruth, a lot of people, a lot of
people wanna speak their truth, butthey don't want to hear the truth.
Mm. Because if that was what, when Iwent back and asked my friends, what
(25:23):
are my strength, they like, I feel like.
Everyone should do a SWOT analysis.
What are your strengths, your weaknesses?
What are the opportunities or oppositions?
And then what are the threats, right?
Like if you have a, someoneyou really trust help you do
a SWOT analysis, it can hurt.
(25:43):
Because I'm telling you some ofthe things that they listed, I was
like, Ooh, do I really do that?
But we get so used to us and then we asksomebody else, okay, tell me what you see.
And you don't, you want them to reallytell you the, they want, they, we
want to tell her what we want to hear.
We don't really want the truth.
But if I really did say, you know what?
(26:04):
You know you're really pompous,you're arrogant, you're very selfish.
If we said that, they'd be like.
They would be so defensive.
But if that person saw it in a movieand they saw that person acting
the same way they do, they wouldsay, ah, he was all about himself.
Very narcissistic.
So you could see it in other people,but you can't see it in yourself.
(26:27):
And I think that thefruit, that's, that's it.
That's it.
I don't think people know.
About what you've been through.
Is that, and I'm sorry, is thatmentioned in your book, you mention?
Yes.
It's in the, I think it's in theforward, I believe it's in my forward
'cause it's, it talks about, um,'cause that's why I said it's a lot to
(26:49):
unpack in the beginning, but I do makeit clear I'm only a licensed driver.
I'm not A-L-M-F-T, I can't write anyprescriptions or anything like that,
but I use it as like, just really a,a kind of like a, what do you call
it, kind You open up with a joke.
They kind of get people liketo laugh about something 'cause
(27:10):
it's really about to get serious.
And then as you go throughthe book, there's more.
There's seriousness and then there'sstuff to laugh at, and there's
some, some gems in there, right?
Some little nuggets thatyou can take with you.
But yeah, it's in there.
It's just, just talking about how evenwatching one of my sisters, uh, she
was in domestic violence situation inher marriage, and I put in there that
(27:31):
I picked up that plumber's wrench and Iwas getting ready to, to hit him because
see, I, I had learned by then, yeah.
That.
'cause I had gone through some stuffand she was now going through some new
stuff that I had already been through.
So I said, you know what, ofcourse violence is not the answer.
But in that moment she was pregnantand he wasn't caring about what was
(27:54):
going on and how she was feeling, andyou were talking about the sex thing.
So that's what it was about.
And her, her pregnancy was a reallydifficult one, so she had to stay off of
her feet, and because he was in there, youknow, physically hitting on her and stuff,
I just said, I can't take it anymore.
I came outta the other bedroom andI picked up that plumber's wrench
and I said, if you hit her one moretime, I said, we both going to jail,
(28:16):
one of us going to the hospital,and one of us was going to jail.
And I was serious about that, but.
But it's, it's like that again.
I had to, I had to show real examplesof my own life so that people can see
what I had, how I got to where I am now.
It's just like, um, you can'ttell people, or let's just say
for you who are husbands, I can'ttell you how to love your wife.
(28:40):
If I've never been a husband,I can't tell you how to raise
your kids if I've never raised.
Kids.
I mean, I can suggest some things, right?
But if you haven't really been in the,in the trenches with married couples
when they've either lost a child or lost,maybe their spouse passed away prior to
now the new spouse, or you've got a childwho's in jail or whatever the case, I
(29:00):
can't speak to that, so I can't reallytell you how you can get through it.
As a Christian, I'll saypray about it, right?
That's about as much as we can say,which is kind of a churchy response, but
I can't walk you through your journeyif I haven't walked that road before.
And so, and that was the, thecatalyst for putting the early
stuff in there that, that.
(29:21):
That meat and potatoes in thebeginning, the middle, and the end,
so that you can see, okay, wellmaybe, maybe she knows something
about a, a little bit about something.
Right.
Uh, well I saw the, the Mary d Welshinterview and I just, it, it, it was just
powerful, uh, what you've gone through.
(29:43):
Do you wanna mention that at all, or?
Well, you know what, uh, uh,Laura, I was gonna ask you,
would you mind if I give them.
Give the listeners a little sneakpeek by reading the, the forward here.
Just a little sleek sneak peek.
No, go for it.
And then we can get to, to, to the,some more meat and potatoes there.
Okay.
Um, as, as, uh, brother Bernie was, uh,speaking up as the author of this book.
(30:08):
I wanna make it clear thatwhile I am a licensed driver,
I am not a licensed therapist.
The insights shared here comefrom my own experiences, heartfelt
conversations with friends, lessonsfrom family, wisdom from my community.
And even encounterswith perfect strangers.
(30:32):
This book is not intended to diagnose ortreat any conditions you may be facing.
Instead, it serves as a spark, onethat may stir memories of the past,
inspire hope for the future, andencourage deep self-reflection.
By the time you finish reading, you mightfeel compelled to apologize to others,
(30:56):
to yourself, to God, and maybe even me.
You gotta get thatbook, find out the rest.
So go on with, with uh, uh,uh, response to Bernie there.
Well, I was just wondering.
As I saw about your medical challenges,and I didn't know whether you wanted to
(31:19):
speak on that because those are just uh
oh.
I actually, I don't mind.
It's so funny that youbring that up because.
Uh, to her, to her fault.
She didn't realize this, thisbook was not about breast cancer,
but because they crossed pathssomewhere in there, it works, right?
(31:40):
So even with the breast cancer,um, as you saw on the show,
I've been diagnosed twice.
Um, that that's a podcast all itself.
But, um.
But that was, that was quite the journey.
So I always tell people, God shows me,
and that's the talk of the times.
On behalf of the co-host BernieBrown, we thank you for listening.
(32:01):
And we hope it compels you into actionor triggers some mindful thought
about the times in which we live.
We also invite you to check outthe Logical Lawyer, Bernie Brown
and the It's that Part Podcast withyours truly, Jesse Lee Hammonds,
wherever you listen to your podcast.
And for even more, Bernie, check out hisbook on Amazon, a prosecutor's analysis
(32:25):
of Personal Supernatural experiences,which is a collection of fascinating
stories awaiting your verdict of factfiction, fabrication, or fantasy.
You decide you can also connectwith Bernie on his website,
the Logical attorney.me.
That's the logical attorney dot.
(32:45):
ME and connect with me at it's thatpart.com, where you can also access
both podcasts and now you've got it.
It's the talk of the times
at the intersection of logic and truth.
(33:06):
This is the logical lawyer and it's thatpart exploring legal, social, and cultural
issues with insight, clarity, and purpose.
Truth and logic, sharp and clearinsight and hope we bring it here
(33:27):
where truth, logic, and action.
It's the logical lawyerand it's that part.
Coming up on this editionof the Joint Podcast
side, I'm telling
you, the husbands, the husbandsalways say, you're right.
You can never have too much.
But the wires are like, yes you can.
Yes you can.
So
at the intersection of logic and truth,
(00:24):
this is the logical lawyer andit's that part exploring legals.
Social and cultural issues withinsight, clarity and purpose,
truth and logic, sharp and clearinsight and hope we bring it here
(00:46):
where truth needs, logic and action.
It's the logical lawyerand it's that part.
Welcome to the talk of the Times, a jointproduction of the logical lawyer with.
Host Bernie Brown and the It's that partPodcast hosted by yours Truly, Jesse Lee
Hammonds and although we approach thevarious items and persons of interest.
(01:11):
From different backgrounds professionally.
Bernie being a prosecutor and formerLos Angeles, California Assistant City
Attorney, as well as a Hall of Fame memberof the John m Langston Bar Association
of Los Angeles, just to name a coupleof headliners and me, a long time.
Former manager of human resourcesand corporate assets at the Fortune
(01:33):
500 Company at and t and formerRadio and International Club Jock.
We have a shared commitment toclarity, logic, lawfulness, relevance,
as well as truth in every fact.
All brought together with realconversations amongst ourselves
and with others about the times inwhich we have and currently live.
(01:57):
It's the talk of the times.
You can see it.
Last time I was here I was with my buddy.
Yeah, I know, I know.
I was thinking that same thing that, uh,
Dr. Chaco.
Yeah.
Dr. Chaco.
Yeah.
Around this time.
Huh?
Yeah,
he's
great.
Every time it was around, it wasaround September because of September,
(02:17):
October when we was getting readyfor the campaign, I was campaigning.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
As a matter of fact.
And in fact, I was going to alludeto that, uh, that I was looking at
that your campaign picture, you know?
Mm-hmm.
Just a few minutes ago.
Um, but yeah.
Uh, in fact, on my phone,you know, Al on Apples.
It will present memories to you.
(02:38):
Mm-hmm.
Every day.
'cause I've taken, I don't know, hundredsof photos and videos of him every day.
He, his pictures on my phone, you know?
You know, and, and it's, I mean,it's real cool, you know, uh,
'cause it just makes me, you know,reminisce about, you know, you know
(02:58):
everything, you know, I mean, we were.
Uh, you know, we weredoing this constantly.
I was speaking with him pretty much almostevery day in one way or another, you know?
Mm-hmm.
But what I was gonna show you, Iwas ready for you this morning.
You see that
Uhhuh?
(03:18):
What's that?
That's a
20 bill.
That's an Andrew Jackson?
Yes.
Uh, that was, that was for you.
I was going to pay for, oh.
Because, oh yeah.
You were
there this morning.
Uh, yeah, I, I was there.
I I, I'm there, I'm there every Sunday.
Um, but, uh, I was, I was movingand grooving, but I was there.
I know.
(03:38):
And, uh, so yeah, I said, I'm,I'm ready because I usually
don't carry cash, you know?
Yeah, yeah.
It is very, very rare.
Um, and I was actually trying to,I put it in an email to, to Bernie.
I was actually going to send him one, butit wasn't going to get there before today.
I ordered
one on Amazon and I'm still waiting.
(04:00):
It should get here in a couple of days.
Oh wow.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's what it was telling me.
Well, thank
you first of all for purchasing it.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
Writing it.
It's, uh, it's a lot tounpack in the beginning.
I will say that.
But it all makes sense.
Well, you know
what, though?
Now, now that's, that's a, that'sa good spot to actually begin.
Is it in here?
Huh?
(04:20):
What was that?
Have we started?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Basically, yes.
I mean, because you know, production isall the time, all the time production.
That's, that's right.
I forgot
all the time.
So, and then I know that, you know,because I've read it in the book that I
know that many people, when they look atthe title, they feel some kind of way.
(04:45):
Mm-hmm.
Oh my gosh.
Yes.
So, so husbands and wives are arguing andI just have to say, Hey, not about that.
Well, yeah.
Well, well then elaborate on that.
You know, what, uh, what brought you to.
Uh, create such a provocative title.
I'll, I'll use the wordprovocative, you know?
Yeah, yeah.
Uh, and then what kind of reactions,um, do you typically get after the heads
(05:13):
pop off and, you know, you have to pick'em up off the floor and all of that?
Well, you know, um, like I said, husbandsand wives, um, husbands will look at
the title first and they'll say, seeds.
See, I told you, and then there'sbeen wives who've looked at
it without the husband around.
(05:35):
Yes you can.
Yes you can.
Mm-hmm.
And so I said, wait a minute,are you looking at the
parentheses in, at the bottom?
And then they'll look realclosely and they'll be like, oh.
And so we've, um, yeah, it's beeninteresting because again, it,
you can never have too much sex.
That just takes you in adifferent direction anyway.
Right.
But then when you look at the smallprint underneath the self-examination,
(05:57):
that's when people are like, oh, youknow, 'cause it kind, it's almost
like it deflates them because theywanted to have the conversation.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
And um, but I said,okay, well we can talk.
You know, but I'm, that'snot what this is about.
That's
one of your next booksgoing down the road.
Right, right.
Right.
Okay.
Right.
For, for for Saints, you know?
Right.
(06:17):
For the Saints.
Right.
Sex.
Sex for Saints.
Sex for Saints.
Hey, there you go.
Right there.
Write that down.
Well, my logical analysisleads to the conclusion that.
Under either analysis, it is acorrect, it is a correct proposition.
Mm-hmm.
Shall we say you cannever have too much sex?
(06:39):
Yep.
Or self-examination.
Yep, exactly.
Whichever it may be.
And if you look at the, the, the subtitleat the bottom, they, they don't get, they
don't look at that either, because there'sa subtile at the bottom that says, stop
blaming others and take responsibility.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
So, again, they bypass all of that becausethey still wanna talk about, you know, the
first word and it's all caps, you know?
(07:02):
And I tell people, 'cause you know,growing up, depending on where you
grew up, you know when you take a wordand you put dots in between, that lets
you know that it means, it's stands.
It's an acronym for something.
But again, depending on who'sreading it, that's the first
thing that their mind goes to.
Mm-hmm.
Versus, oh, that's an acronym justright off the bat, you know, it's
an acronym by the dots in between.
(07:23):
But yeah, you're right, Mr. Burn.
You're correct.
Yes.
Never,
never too much.
My wife wouldn't agree, but
has,
I'm telling you, the husbands, thehusbands always say, you're right.
You can never have too much.
But the wires are like, yes you can.
Yes you can.
That would be a nicepodcast though, right there.
(07:44):
Well, keeping on with that.
Was there a moment in your own life?
Uh oh.
We'll just use the, uh, the analogythere, uh uh or the acronym.
Of self-examination, uh, thatchanged everything for you?
Well, yeah.
I, you know, I think, um,there's a question in the book.
I forget which chapter it was.
(08:06):
It might have been chapter three,which is my favorite chapter.
Um, I think it's, uh, it's,it was, it's your fault.
It's my, I'm the.
What is this?
Uh, it's the sex talk.
It's my fault and it's their fault.
Right?
Right.
And
so at, at some point when I was,I think I was looking for a job or
something and I wanted to reallyhone in where I needed to be.
And, uh, a friend of mine had recommended,you know, you take your top three.
(08:30):
Skills or your interests or thebest place that you know, that
you fit different genres or yourcharacteristics, and then you can
kind of hone in where you wanna work.
Mm-hmm.
And so, um, so I, I asked about 10 of myclosest friends that I knew, that knew
me outside of church, knew me outside of.
(08:50):
And then I asked some peoplethat also worked for me and they
just started breaking it down.
And they were, some of the, some of themhad similar, most of 'em had similarities,
uh, basically what I'm doing now for a jobor, uh, counseling or something like that.
But there was one where, um, a friendof mine said, you know, I tend to be.
I can't think of the,I like I'd be shut off.
(09:11):
Like I tend to act like stuffis not happening and it's
probably a defense mechanism.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
It's almost like, you know, ifyou ignore it, it'll go away.
And um, when she said that, I really tookthat to heart and I said, you know what?
I really do, I do that.
I still do it, but it took mewriting the book and really just, um,
(09:32):
again, doing some self-examination.
Like it's almost like if the threeof us are in a room and let's
just say you two get into a fightbecause I don't like violence.
Mm-hmm.
I will shut down and just look forsomething else to do versus trying
to stop you guys from fighting.
And so I could have prevented, youknow, somebody throwing a blow if I'd
(09:55):
have just sat between you and said,Hey, this is not the way to handle it.
But what I do is I would, likeI said, I would shut down and
I'd be like, you know what?
I'm getting outta here 'cause thisdon't have nothing to do with me.
But there's, there's reasons whyI think God allows us to be in
certain situations, but to be, tobe privy to certain conversations
as well as different activities.
And that could have been a perfectopportunity, like I said, to, to stop.
(10:18):
And, hey, let's talk about this.
We're grown.
We can do this a lot better.
Versus me just shuttingdown and to protect myself.
Mm-hmm.
And then walk away.
And so when she said that, Ireally did start thinking about
the times I'd done that as a, youknow, growing up and then even.
Now as a grown, grown adult,when, when do I do that?
(10:40):
And so I've, I've had to, thisbook has really made me take a look
at my own self within and see howam I contributing to the drama?
Because even sometimes beingsilent is being okay with
different things that are going on.
Versus saying somethingright, and so that's that.
Definitely that statement played a rolein me really examining myself and like,
(11:05):
okay, how many things have you sat byand allowed to happen when you could've
maybe whispered in somebody's ear?
I may not have to get directly involved,but I can say something to somebody
else versus just, you know, doing this,you know, closing, plugging my ears.
And closing my eyes.
That's the here see no evil.
See no evil here.
No evil.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
(11:25):
Yeah.
No evil.
You, you, your,
your coping mechanism.
Exactly.
That was a coping.
Yep.
Yep.
Well, I really, the premise of yourbook, I really think that you just
can't get enough stuff evaluation.
Self-analysis, uh, and I think it shouldbe a part like you suggested in your book
that a part of a daily routine mm-hmm.
(11:49):
Where you look at yourselfand evaluate yourself.
I know as a child, I, as a youngadult, I started evaluating
myself very early and, uh.
Uh, trying to evaluate howto become a better person.
Mm-hmm.
Like you, like you suggested howto address certain situations.
(12:11):
Mm-hmm.
And, and how to advance myself,make myself, uh, uh, more successful
in the workplace, uh, and in life.
So, uh, that your book is justfantastic in the analysis.
I agree.
Yes.
Uh, uh, of, of life.
It, it's a, it's a piece of wisdom.
(12:33):
Mm-hmm.
And you know, Mr. Bernie,thank you, Mr. Bernie.
To your point, you know, as a kid, somy mother was raised by the, what they
would call the great generation, andthen she became the silent generation.
So to speak that kind of life into usas kids to say, you know, look in the
mirror, put your shoulders back, that kindof look at within, was that your fault?
(12:57):
Because that ball, whatever, whatever,you know, we didn't get those ours.
Ours was do as you say, not as I do.
Um, yes ma'am.
No ma'am.
You know, those kind of things.
We weren't allowed to sit upunderground people and have
those type of conversations.
Um, but I think honestly, if ourgeneration, if I said my mother's
generation had kind of spoke that into us,I think some, some of our family members
(13:22):
did, I'll say in my household we didn't.
Um, and it might've been something thathappened with them, you know, but in
their, when they were being raised, but mygrandfather and my grandmother didn't say.
Those type of things.
Like you said, you, how manyelementary kids do you know are
self doing self examination?
Now, if they're in a sport, maybethat's something they do, right?
(13:42):
Like maybe I'm holding the backwrong, or maybe how am I holding my
shoulder when I throw the football?
That kind of thing.
Yeah, but for like life and justyour personhood, not too many
elementary school kids are doing that.
Even, even in junior high.
It's a, they're probably doingit for the wrong reasons,
probably,
you know, to be popular versus.
The better themselves.
And then when they get to high school,there's somebody who probably whispered
(14:05):
in their ear, say, Hey, let's, let'sfight for the, the greater good.
But it's not a, it's only a handful.
So I like, I like, I like thatwe need to do more of that.
We need to probably talk to our youngerones about doing more self-examination
now.
Those are absolute pearls of wisdom.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, it just takes me back my,through my younger years when.
(14:26):
When, uh, I would be sitting there andI, I, you know, I don't want to talk
about it, but I have to say, okay,I'm gonna admit something on the air.
I should never admit, yearsago I used to smoke marijuana.
Okay.
Ooh,
ooh.
(14:47):
And there would be times when Iwould just sit back and I do not
allocate the use of marijuana, right?
But there would be times when I'djust sit back and just self evaluate.
Mm-hmm.
A daily quiet time.
I didn't do it daily, but a quiet time.
You don't need marijuana to do that, but I
(15:07):
maybe this time every day to sitback and, and be quiet and listen
to yourself and analyze yourself.
And that is a lifelong,a lifelong adventure.
I know as an old person, I'mstill evaluating everything.
No.
First of all, you're notold, you are seasoned.
No.
Okay.
You are seasoned.
(15:27):
Be like you said.
And then speaking of theseasoning, the older we get.
The more seasoned we get because we'velearned from the, the past, even if
it was a year ago or six months ago.
Mm-hmm.
Um, just like I was saying in thebeginning of the book, there's a lot
to unpack, but it's there for a reasonso that then people can see how I
started to try to use, I, in the bookI talk about, I only started using
(15:50):
wisdom like in the last 12 years.
Right.
And, and you with my age, you'd belike, really in the last 12 years.
But that, but it took alot of self-examination.
I had to really look at myself,what I, the type of work I do,
different ministries, uh, thecommunity, all that kind of stuff.
I had all, everything in thisbook can be applied to whatever.
(16:11):
You do?
Yes.
And I had to look at myself firstbefore I could give it to anybody else.
So.
Well, I love the way you, you go into, uh,certain things like it's just so broad.
It's it's diet and it's exercise and it's.
Laziness and blaming others.
And it's, it is everything.
(16:31):
It's the broad perspective of life.
Mm-hmm.
That you conduct an analysis,a self-analysis in, in all
areas of life, which is really.
Quite pervasive and, and and refreshing.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Well, you know, two, two things,uh, I'll make a confession too.
(16:56):
Hey, hey.
That's what it's about.
This.
They gonna read the book and everybodygonna be telling on themselves
what you're doing way back when
Smoke.
Oh, no.
You know, I mean, uh, I was, Iwas Jesse St. John the, the dj.
(17:22):
No, but, uh, you know,
and I came to a point that I, Isaid, look, I can't serve to God.
That's, that's one of the reasons whyI'm not in the entertainment, uh, uh,
business, um, you know, full forcethese days because I made that choice.
I said.
I'm, I'm not gonna go that way.
I see that lifestyle.
(17:42):
I've been in the lifestyleand, um, I, I just can't do it.
You know?
I, I just couldn't do it andI just stopped, you know?
Uh, and so.
You know, I raised my hand to that,you know, as far as this, I, I examined
myself there, you know, I mean, noone had to tell me that, that just,
(18:04):
that was between me and the Lord.
And now, and now everybodyelse, you know, but
you, Ray, uh, you, you say.
Yeah, in, in this book that it mightmake people want to apologize to
themselves and to others and even God.
Uh, why do we, why do you thinkwe carry so much hidden guilt?
(18:28):
Well, I, again, great question.
I think, um.
And a lot of it has to dowith how you were raised.
Like Mr. Bernie was saying,he was doing self-examination
as an elementary school kid.
Um, depending on your householdor your school and the term that
they use now is safe spaces, right?
Mm-hmm.
Maybe there weren't a lot of safespaces for people to come to and
(18:52):
confess what they've done Right.
Um, and no, no reflection onthe church that does confession.
I'm talking about just.
Going to somebody else and or an adultand saying, Hey, this is what happened.
This is what I messed up.
Uh, also I think it has to do withwe don't, we don't like consequences.
Mm. We are human.
(19:13):
Um, we don't like negativeconsequences or what we perceive with.
To be negative consequences.
Um, even like for me, just like yousaid in the book where I talk about,
uh, I would go back to my youngerself and tell her to fight for herself
when, when things were going left and.
Depending on what the issue was withanybody, you hold onto stuff for so
(19:38):
long because you feel like if you letit out, it may hurt somebody else.
Let's just, I think in that, there'sa part in there where I talk, I
think I talked about I was molestedor something, and you know, you
hold onto that as a kid, right?
Because you don't wanna tell 'causewell, number one, they're either
gonna believe you or they're not.
Mm-hmm.
And then if you find out who it is.
Then it depends.
(19:58):
If it's a family member or a closefamily friend, then it just, it
could just mess up a whole, it, itcould just explode in a way where
it don't seem like it's your fault.
'cause not everybody in thefamily's mad at each other or the
neighbors aren't getting along.
Or just even let's just, even in thepolitical climate that we're in, right?
Uh, you don't tell,then everything's good.
(20:19):
It's almost like it didn't happen.
Like just let it go andeventually it'll go away.
But as soon as people starttalking, it causes friction.
Mm-hmm.
And for those, whether the politicalarena, like I said, social church.
In your job, whatever it is, when youhold onto stuff like that, especially
if it's something really importantthat's vital to the success or the
(20:42):
demise of someone's either life ortheir career, that's a heavy burden.
Heavy, I think.
And I think we think, andI'll say for myself, I always
felt like I could handle it.
Because we were raised not to talk, right?
You didn't air your dirty laundry.
You, you took it and you justheld it until you, they died.
And then you go to the grave and you justconfess it there and leave it in the grass
(21:05):
and hoping it's not with you anymore.
But that's really not true.
Um, I, I venture to say that whoeverlistens to this afterwards, it, it
won't take long for something topop up in their, their heads, what
they've been carrying for decades.
Uh, I mean like decades upon decades.
And, um, unfortunately, some of thisstuff people take to their grave, right?
Um, and it causes health issues, youknow, but I think for the most part,
(21:27):
the reason why they hold onto it is, is,is because of that, all those reasons.
Um, and it's unfortunate because again,depends on how your household is, and
even some cultures you don't talk, right?
Mm-hmm.
You just don't, you justkeep it to yourself.
Um, we'll do, let God sort it out.
You know, in the rapture, they don't,they don't, uh, they won't allow women,
(21:48):
men, boys and girls, whoever, to saywhat they need to say, but when they
hold it in for so long, it and healthproblems comes with that as well.
You know, the stress of holding certainthings in and not telling, you know, so.
I see you.
Your book is a mental health book.
It's all that wrapped intoone mental health wellness.
(22:10):
Uhhuh, excuse me,
this is, yeah.
Mental and physical.
I shouldn't limit it to, mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
All encompassing.
Yeah.
You were earlier.
I wanna go back to somethingyou said, Mr. Bernie.
You were talking about, uh, exercisingand her eating and things like that.
I mean, you know.
It is always Wait till Monday, right?
(22:32):
I'm gonna eat better or I'mgonna start exercise on Monday.
Why do we wait till Monday?
Why do we, I mean, it's Wednesday.
Why do we wait till Monday or
New Year's?
Or New Year's?
I'm gonna start the new year off.
Right?
It's, it's the, it's the same thing.
We make excuses and of coursethere, there are some legitimate
mental health issues that are there.
(22:52):
There are some legitimate physical healthchallenges and some legitimate just.
Social awkwardness that peoplejust may have for what, you
know, that that contributes towhy those things don't get done.
But for those who are not really dealingwith those things, some of it is laziness.
I'll, for myself, I've always been activeand I'm, I'm not gonna blame it on the
(23:15):
pandemic 'cause we had plenty of timethen we just had no time on our hands.
But you know what I keptsaying, Ugh, it's too cold.
When the winter came, it was cold.
I can't get up that early.
It's cold.
Wait till it get warm.
Well, then when it got warm,something else would distract me
and I'd get involved with that.
I said, you know what,I'll go at seven o'clock.
Nobody's working, but we'll justsit here in front of the tv.
Everything I had was here.
(23:35):
I bought an exercise bike.
I bought the stationary bike,and it's over there collecting.
So it's mo lack of motivation.
Some of it is just laziness too.
You know, we like anything,we really don't wanna give up
certain comforts to, to do better.
'cause we get, we are comfortablein that, in that space.
Um, whether it's, you know, wellness ormental health or whatever it is, it's.
(23:58):
There's a comfortable, and it's evensomewhat of a safe space too, to just,
you know, I'll just hold this to myself.
It, we'll get to it eventually.
Yeah.
So your self-examination isan honest self-examination.
Mm-hmm.
You gotta be honest with you.
You have to be truthful
and you, and if you can't be honestwith yourself, I think somebody's
(24:20):
even said this a long time ago.
If you can't be honest with yourself,you who, are you gonna be honest with?
Facts?
That's facts right there.
Now, you know, on that pointright there of truth, um, how do
we know when our outer life hasdrifted from our inner truth?
(24:40):
Hmm.
That's a deep question.
Um, I would say by the fruit.
Hmm.
Um, apple don't grow.
That's biblical.
Apple doesn't grow oranges.
That's biblical.
And I have an orange tree,which I'm very proud of.
But if Apple started sprouting.
I had have to say, let's cut the trunkopen 'cause something's not right.
(25:01):
Right,
right.
It's been producing oranges for50, 60 years and all of a sudden
you wanna come up with apples.
Um, but you know, speaking oftruth, a lot of people, a lot of
people wanna speak their truth, butthey don't want to hear the truth.
Mm. Because if that was what, when Iwent back and asked my friends, what
(25:23):
are my strength, they like, I feel like.
Everyone should do a SWOT analysis.
What are your strengths, your weaknesses?
What are the opportunities or oppositions?
And then what are the threats, right?
Like if you have a, someoneyou really trust help you do
a SWOT analysis, it can hurt.
(25:43):
Because I'm telling you some ofthe things that they listed, I was
like, Ooh, do I really do that?
But we get so used to us and then we asksomebody else, okay, tell me what you see.
And you don't, you want them to reallytell you the, they want, they, we
want to tell her what we want to hear.
We don't really want the truth.
But if I really did say, you know what?
(26:04):
You know you're really pompous,you're arrogant, you're very selfish.
If we said that, they'd be like.
They would be so defensive.
But if that person saw it in a movieand they saw that person acting
the same way they do, they wouldsay, ah, he was all about himself.
Very narcissistic.
So you could see it in other people,but you can't see it in yourself.
(26:27):
And I think that thefruit, that's, that's it.
That's it.
I don't think people know.
About what you've been through.
Is that, and I'm sorry, is thatmentioned in your book, you mention?
Yes.
It's in the, I think it's in theforward, I believe it's in my forward
'cause it's, it talks about, um,'cause that's why I said it's a lot to
(26:49):
unpack in the beginning, but I do makeit clear I'm only a licensed driver.
I'm not A-L-M-F-T, I can't write anyprescriptions or anything like that,
but I use it as like, just really a,a kind of like a, what do you call
it, kind You open up with a joke.
They kind of get people liketo laugh about something 'cause
(27:10):
it's really about to get serious.
And then as you go throughthe book, there's more.
There's seriousness and then there'sstuff to laugh at, and there's
some, some gems in there, right?
Some little nuggets thatyou can take with you.
But yeah, it's in there.
It's just, just talking about how evenwatching one of my sisters, uh, she
was in domestic violence situation inher marriage, and I put in there that
(27:31):
I picked up that plumber's wrench and Iwas getting ready to, to hit him because
see, I, I had learned by then, yeah.
That.
'cause I had gone through some stuffand she was now going through some new
stuff that I had already been through.
So I said, you know what, ofcourse violence is not the answer.
But in that moment she was pregnantand he wasn't caring about what was
(27:54):
going on and how she was feeling, andyou were talking about the sex thing.
So that's what it was about.
And her, her pregnancy was a reallydifficult one, so she had to stay off of
her feet, and because he was in there, youknow, physically hitting on her and stuff,
I just said, I can't take it anymore.
I came outta the other bedroom andI picked up that plumber's wrench
and I said, if you hit her one moretime, I said, we both going to jail,
(28:16):
one of us going to the hospital,and one of us was going to jail.
And I was serious about that, but.
But it's, it's like that again.
I had to, I had to show real examplesof my own life so that people can see
what I had, how I got to where I am now.
It's just like, um, you can'ttell people, or let's just say
for you who are husbands, I can'ttell you how to love your wife.
(28:40):
If I've never been a husband,I can't tell you how to raise
your kids if I've never raised.
Kids.
I mean, I can suggest some things, right?
But if you haven't really been in the,in the trenches with married couples
when they've either lost a child or lost,maybe their spouse passed away prior to
now the new spouse, or you've got a childwho's in jail or whatever the case, I
(29:00):
can't speak to that, so I can't reallytell you how you can get through it.
As a Christian, I'll saypray about it, right?
That's about as much as we can say,which is kind of a churchy response, but
I can't walk you through your journeyif I haven't walked that road before.
And so, and that was the, thecatalyst for putting the early
stuff in there that, that.
(29:21):
That meat and potatoes in thebeginning, the middle, and the end,
so that you can see, okay, wellmaybe, maybe she knows something
about a, a little bit about something.
Right.
Uh, well I saw the, the Mary d Welshinterview and I just, it, it, it was just
powerful, uh, what you've gone through.
(29:43):
Do you wanna mention that at all, or?
Well, you know what, uh, uh,Laura, I was gonna ask you,
would you mind if I give them.
Give the listeners a little sneakpeek by reading the, the forward here.
Just a little sleek sneak peek.
No, go for it.
And then we can get to, to, to the,some more meat and potatoes there.
Okay.
Um, as, as, uh, brother Bernie was, uh,speaking up as the author of this book.
(30:08):
I wanna make it clear thatwhile I am a licensed driver,
I am not a licensed therapist.
The insights shared here comefrom my own experiences, heartfelt
conversations with friends, lessonsfrom family, wisdom from my community.
And even encounterswith perfect strangers.
(30:32):
This book is not intended to diagnose ortreat any conditions you may be facing.
Instead, it serves as a spark, onethat may stir memories of the past,
inspire hope for the future, andencourage deep self-reflection.
By the time you finish reading, you mightfeel compelled to apologize to others,
(30:56):
to yourself, to God, and maybe even me.
You gotta get thatbook, find out the rest.
So go on with, with uh, uh,uh, response to Bernie there.
Well, I was just wondering.
As I saw about your medical challenges,and I didn't know whether you wanted to
(31:19):
speak on that because those are just uh
oh.
I actually, I don't mind.
It's so funny that youbring that up because.
Uh, to her, to her fault.
She didn't realize this, thisbook was not about breast cancer,
but because they crossed pathssomewhere in there, it works, right?
(31:40):
So even with the breast cancer,um, as you saw on the show,
I've been diagnosed twice.
Um, that that's a podcast all itself.
But, um.
But that was, that was quite the journey.
So I always tell people, God shows me,
and that's the talk of the times.
On behalf of the co-host BernieBrown, we thank you for listening.
(32:01):
And we hope it compels you into actionor triggers some mindful thought
about the times in which we live.
We also invite you to check outthe Logical Lawyer, Bernie Brown
and the It's that Part Podcast withyours truly, Jesse Lee Hammonds,
wherever you listen to your podcast.
And for even more, Bernie, check out hisbook on Amazon, a prosecutor's analysis
(32:25):
of Personal Supernatural experiences,which is a collection of fascinating
stories awaiting your verdict of factfiction, fabrication, or fantasy.
You decide you can also connectwith Bernie on his website,
the Logical attorney.me.
That's the logical attorney dot.
(32:45):
ME and connect with me at it's thatpart.com, where you can also access
both podcasts and now you've got it.
It's the talk of the times
at the intersection of logic and truth.
(33:06):
This is the logical lawyer and it's thatpart exploring legal, social, and cultural
issues with insight, clarity, and purpose.
Truth and logic, sharp and clearinsight and hope we bring it here
(33:27):
where truth, logic, and action.
It's the logical lawyerand it's that part.
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