January 31, 2024 • 26 mins
Join hosts Mark and Cindy on their inspirational podcast, Mercy on Display. This episode centers on their remarkable love story, enlightening listeners on how faith and God's divine mercy transcend the challenges of distance, cultural differences, and personal pain. Discover how the couple went from separate lives in Indiana and Oregon to being joyfully united via a common thread - God's mercy.
Despite the geographical gap, God led Cindy to draw close to Mark's positivity, sparking a connection that changed their lives forever. Learn about their moments of joy, humor, vulnerability, and honesty - their laughter as well as their tears, and how their love stood firm even when cultural differences resulted in a month-long separation. Their story underlines the astounding power of a faith-based journey and the remarkable beauty of God's plan.
Dive right into their conversations, highlighting the importance of the individual over societal judgment, and the key role of faith in overcoming obstacles. Read about the skepticism they faced within their own family due to their cultural differences and how they learned to not only accept, but celebrate these differences. Discover how Cindy, a Latina Christian from a Catholic background, and Mark, a Slavic Christian from a Sabbath-keeping community, are brought together thanks to God's mercy.
Mark and Cindy also discuss the profound importance of praying to God in their relationship, using it as a cornerstone to communicate effectively and ease misunderstandings. They attribute their peace-filled relationship and family life to their unwavering devotion to God. Finally, the couple imparts words of wisdom for other intercultural couples, encouraging them to trust in God's plans and seek His guidance. Their intercultural love story is not only heartwarming but also deeply inspiring, proving that faith, love, and respect can blend cultures in harmony.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:04):
Hello i'm mark and i'm cindy and
we're the hosts of mercy on display a storytelling podcast about god's mercy
in people's lives from dating to marriage parenting to careers and everything
in between we hope you'll be inspired encouraged and grounded in god's purpose.
Music.
For your own life we're glad you're here thanks for joining us,
(00:44):
Hello, everyone. Hello, everyone. Welcome to the show and good evening.
Today, we're going to be talking about how the Lord brought us together.
Which is a very exciting story
that i that i like to share it's both i think it's
very could be surprising for
the little bit the older generation and still surprising for the our age group
(01:10):
even as as well so yeah nonetheless exciting because actually it's it's wonderful
the way the lord writes his story yeah so if you heard episode one episode Episode two,
I briefly hint at that the Lord told me about Mark.
So when I was in law school, I actually got partnered up with a young man named
(01:35):
Mark from my church in Indianapolis.
He was not my husband.
And I remember hearing that name and it meant something to me.
It was very special. I thought that name I should hold on to means something. It's special.
I thought maybe I'll name my child Mark or something. I think that's what I thought.
And then I remember way before I got baptized, after a really bad breakup situation,
(02:01):
I was in my law school's library looking up at the moon.
And I said, Lord, is there someone out there who can love so much and give so
much of themselves like the way I do? Deeply, yeah.
Is there someone who can make the room just brighter and smile and who's so kind and gentle?
(02:24):
And the Lord replied to me he said yeah there is and I said really like someone
who has the same personality as me someone who understands me and he said yeah
there is and what if he's bald,
I'm not even kidding you that is what the Lord said what if he's bald and I thought,
(02:46):
just kind of chuckled to myself I was like well I guess that's not bad and I
remember actually going on a date with a bald man and this is before us this
is before us and like i was just like no this is this is this person's not it
this person's definitely not the one but i gave it a shot.
(03:07):
So what's interesting is that both you and i were were interested in from history
and learning and And you and I,
we were part of the same Myers-Briggs personality test Facebook group on Facebook, which are ENFJs.
Yes. So if you're familiar with this test, it basically is very similar personalities.
(03:32):
It varies by percentages. But for those who don't know what this is,
this is basically a test where it tells you what your personality is.
Like if you're an extrovert, an introvert, a person who's very intuitive,
or maybe you're more kind of a person who feels or thinks, or a more organized
person, or you're a disorganized person,
(03:54):
doesn't mean they're bad qualities, it just makes up the percentages of who you are.
And so we were really into that type of test and finding out what the people
around us and how they think.
And I think those tests as well would actually help whether you're in school
or if it's, like you shared with me much later that even some actually professions or some jobs,
(04:20):
some companies will have you test for that.
And just for the sense of to find out your strengths, maybe even your weaknesses
to better understand of what do you gravitate towards, how to communicate. Yeah.
And so we were both part of the same group. And I remember Mark posted something about the Lord and...
(04:42):
He posted that he had recently gotten rejected when I was thinking or gone through
a breakup, something like that.
And I thought, well, me too.
And this guy is so positive about talking about the Lord and on a public forum talking about God.
So I said, I commented and I said, this is great.
(05:03):
You know, I barely ever see someone who posts about this.
If you ever need someone to talk to, let me know.
But I kind of didn't mean it. And then as I logged off- You were actually scared.
You were thinking like, why- Well, I logged off Facebook and then I felt the
Lord say, you should message him. I was like, am I really?
And it wasn't like, you know, he and the Lord's voice, the voice of the Lord.
(05:24):
It was more like a feeling. Like the Lord put that in my heart.
And I thought, okay, I will send him a message.
And mind you, Mark had really scary photos back then.
I still do. No, you did not. I actually smile now for a Slavic.
Yeah, no, he did not smile in his photos. He looked pretty scary.
(05:48):
But I thought, you know, if I am feeling this gut feeling that I need to message,
and I didn't know what to call it, you know, I just could feel like it was coming
from God, then I need to message this person.
I thought he was just kind of my friend or something, someone to help me through
the difficult time I was going through.
And that was yeah that was actually
(06:09):
so i think it was it was very
interesting and i believe that it that that moment in
that journey helped the both of us because unlike you
said going through breakups going through broken relationships
or and things like that and and
we both started off as friends and i believe just as
in a sense of support for one another and
(06:31):
it was not long and until i
started expressing my romantic interest to
you that hey you're very beautiful you're
cute well first of
all let me clarify to the public that you were in oregon i
was in indiana so miles away the fact that this gentleman i already had talked
(06:54):
to him on the phone and on facetime i could tell he was a real person he was
very kind a christian had been praying with me he started saying I think you're very beautiful and.
And kind of flirting by text message, I told my friends, I don't know what to do.
(07:15):
What do I do with this? Honestly, what do I do with this? My friends encouraged me, honestly.
They all said, well, he sounds like a very genuine person, a kind person.
And I remember telling you the only way I would meet you is if my mom, my family is there.
Because you have to be careful nowadays. You have to be really careful.
Definitely. And so my mom drove up to my city and we met you at the airport.
(07:39):
And my mom says, actually looking back now, she says, when I met him,
I thought, oh boy, they have the same personality. This is something.
And I remember we went to a Thai restaurant in downtown Indianapolis, my favorite place.
(07:59):
And you were so charming but very kind very very quiet and you opened the door
for me and you pulled out an umbrella so I wouldn't get wet because it started
to rain and I remember looking up at you and I saw your eyes and they changed
color but at that time they were green,
and I remember hearing the Lord say there he
(08:22):
is that's it that that's all
he said there he is and my heart just
felt like it was going a thousand miles a minute
and i was so
i turned red thinking can my mom hear my heartbeat she knows she knows yeah
(08:42):
yeah so that was the beginning and you you met my family from that moment on
it was a lot of traveling yeah i think i traveled.
Give or take maybe close to every four months to see you.
I remember actually, I haven't shared that with you until much later.
(09:07):
I think I ran out of vacation time.
And so my boss was up front. He said, it looks like you have no vacation time.
Like you want to take the time off, it's going to be unpaid.
I said, I definitely know what I'm getting into. Definitely, yes, I understand.
I'm going. So, of course, I'm not sharing details at work, you know,
like, hey, I'm interested in this wonderful, beautiful girl.
(09:29):
She's all the way out in Indiana, but I definitely wanted to see her. Wow.
I think you briefly shared that, but not all the details. So,
wow. I don't even know what to say to that.
Besides, I was very much falling in love with you. and I just was very excited
(09:52):
because I knew that our relationship was not just dating.
I knew our relationship would lead to marriage.
And this is where the difficult part comes, we have different cultures.
Definitely, yeah. You're Slavic, so you speak Christian.
You come from a Sabbath-keeping community. I'm Latina. I come from a Catholic
(10:15):
community, but I'm becoming a Christian.
I'm a national Christian, and I definitely don't want to go back into a church that has rituals.
Right. And so I'm thinking at that time, everything's going to work out. The Lord told me, right?
But on your end. It was a tough journey for us, especially for my side of the
(10:40):
family, for parents, because, you know, this was definitely a young Slavic guy,
your own kid, your own son.
And definitely stepping out of the norm or circle or what maybe they would have, were expecting.
It's like, and Mark has fallen in love with this Latina girl,
(11:03):
a thousand miles away, and they're dating, they have a relationship,
and when you're Christian, And, you know, and obviously the conversations that
come next are about like, okay, you know, marriage, what does that look like to you?
(11:24):
You start talking about the future, you know, your values, what's important for you.
And from having children, raising the family.
So all of those important questions. And so it definitely was very difficult,
I think, on my side of the family, for parents, and a long journey,
(11:44):
and it wasn't easy for you.
And I think also it was the language, I mean, being able to communicate with
your parents who understand some English, but their main primary language is Russian.
I think that was a fear of, is there going to be communication?
How are we going to communicate as a family?
So we broke up. Yeah, there was a moment that we actually broke up.
(12:06):
For about a month? Mm-hmm, for a month.
After, I think we were dating for a year. That's right, yeah.
And things didn't go well as well when I had visited here, your family.
It was very chaotic between my parents and your parents for a little bit.
And I thought, why isn't it working out?
(12:26):
The Lord told me this. Like, what is going on? You know, I'm so confused.
Confused, I'm upset, I'm thinking, I know Mark's a wonderful man,
whoever gets to marry him, because at this point, I'm thinking,
I have to, I have no choice but to forget about it, right?
I thought, okay, Lord, I'm heartbroken thinking that he's going to end up with somebody else,
(12:50):
but at the same time, she's going to be so blessed, whoever ends up with Mark,
mark it's going to be have joy in her life he's
going to care for her so well and i cried
and i remember thinking all right
lord if mark was so amazing and
such an incredible person to have
(13:10):
in my life even for that brief time and i and you say you have better things
for those who love you then lord and that this i was already baptized i was
already saved i said lord then i trust that that you're going to put the right
person in my path, and it's going to be better than Mark.
I don't know how. I can't even imagine that. But somehow, it's going to be better
(13:32):
than Mark. And I just prayed for you. I prayed for your future,
that the Lord will bless it.
And I said, all right, in Jesus' name, amen. And then the next day, you called me.
Crying on the phone, saying I'm sorry.
Yeah. And from that moment on.
He continually told me how much he loved me. And we got engaged in Washington, D.C.
(13:58):
It was very special. It was on 4th of July. It was just so beautiful.
And now here we are, six years later, going on to our seventh year of marriage.
Praise the Lord. Praise God.
And I knew that you were going to be my wife when we were dating.
And it was so hard to see that tug and pull,
(14:23):
to see my family in the middle, because I wanted to have peace,
not any turmoil or any heaviness or any problems with my side of the family.
And then the question that can remain in my heart and my mind,
like, okay, why is this not working out?
I understand there's big differences between between, well, mainly it was actually
(14:48):
a culture, the Latino culture and the Slavic culture.
It's so similar from family values, upbringing and things like that.
I think it was mainly the language. I just want to try and get to the language.
Honestly, I'm not Slavic. Like I'm not a, I'm half Caucasian.
You know, I'm not full Caucasian and there's a lot of history in my family.
(15:11):
And I think your parents had a lot of concerns and
obviously I had a very questionable background compared to
a Slavic girl who grows up in the church right and
and they they were aware of that and they also were aware that I had recently
gotten saved and they were very joyous and happy for that I know that and I
love your family I love I loved mom since then and she's she's always been my
(15:37):
mom my second mom so I definitely thought.
From what I've learned is that there's this perception of the Latina community
and the Slavic community that has a good reputation in other marriages that
have happened cross-culturally perhaps or stories they've heard from others
(15:58):
or things that they've seen.
But the thing is, you can't judge a person just by somebody else's story.
You really can't. I think we could be be hypocrites yourself by doing that,
for judging somebody else just from one story or from one circumstance you've
had or a few of those. Each person is different.
(16:19):
And how the Lord uses that person, that's what matters. How is the Lord in their lives?
Is there fruit of the Holy Spirit showing in their lives?
And I know that with me and with you,
the person that matters the most in our marriage it's
not each other it's god he's the
(16:40):
one that unifies us people ask
well you have different cultures different languages how do
you make it work well here's a beautiful wonderful thing my parents love mark
they speak english mark's learning spanish and they love him they ask about
him my mom calls him her beautiful boy you know she loves you her third child
(17:01):
your father My father has grown to know who I am.
And the other day he called me hija, which means daughter in Spanish.
That made me almost tear up, but I didn't want to tear up in public.
It really is the transformation of the Lord.
Because I remember October 6th, you told your parents you were going to marry me.
(17:26):
And I flew into Portland and we wanted your parents' blessing. Thank you.
And it went from your family did not want me to be involved in your life to
your mother being so amazing, asking for forgiveness for any wrongdoing.
I mean, asking her for forgiveness for anything and reconciling.
(17:49):
And I remember her telling me, Cindy, I'm a lioness.
I'm going to fight for my young.
Please forgive me, though. I've treated you. you and
honestly from that moment on i knew that
it was all the lord he is
the one that transformed her heart he's the
one that brought her into that place where she could love and accept someone
(18:13):
else from a different culture into her home despite what anybody else might
say because the lord the lord was the one that was writing the story not her
and i'm really grateful for that amen me Me too.
And so praise God for that. Amen.
So yeah, how do we make it work? The answer is Jesus.
(18:33):
Definitely lots of Jesus. We, and for Cindy and I, we even see immediately,
you know, if things at any moment started getting over the top,
you know, over our heads and whether, you know, and work catches up with us,
you know, stress in some way or form.
And we know that it's not gonna be us that are going to fix it,
(18:57):
But it's taking that step as a husband and wife to seek out the Lord.
That you go to the Lord in prayer.
And the Lord helps. He immediately helps.
When the tensions are high, you're thinking either you're upset at one another
and or you're upset at the amount of stress that could be around your life.
(19:22):
But the Lord immediately reminds you that when you have your eyes on Jesus Christ,
that he's able to take any heaviness away, that he's able to bring in his peace.
And that's exactly how we just take those steps in order to make our marriage work.
(19:45):
It will never be that, you know, Mark is so amazing or Cindy is so amazing that
both of us understand that we have to search out God, seek out the Lord, come to Him in prayer.
For us, as we use this analogy with others, that it's like a triangle,
that you have Cindy, you have Mark, and you have Jesus, you have the Lord.
(20:09):
And the more that we walk towards God, we know that we will be closer to one another as well.
We can be on the same page. We can experience the Lord's peace.
We can experience the Lord's joy.
Yeah. Yeah. I know that we took premarital classes before we even got married
and I was with an American pastor and he recommended the book by- Timothy Keller.
(20:33):
Thank you. And it's called The Meaning of Marriage.
So this book, I remember, I don't remember everything, but I do remember him
talking about serving one another.
And that's literally what we've been trying to do in our life.
Yeah, definitely. And I've never sat down with the pastor. I never had that approach.
(20:54):
I know that lately I've been hearing that some of our churches are taking those
steps of premarital marriage.
Counseling in in a way and i think
that's so beneficial for for young couples and that
really has helped me and and for the
both of us that it was before we even got
married before we were a husband and wife that we
(21:17):
and this this book is written by a
christian author yes and this book
really was what was a cornerstone of what
a marriage communication should look like in
christ christ and and we went
from being two very
young people who've never been married who've never lived with anybody else
(21:39):
to trying to figure out
how to communicate how to serve and love one another to break generational cycles
or anything like that in our families to how how we are now where we've spent
so much time into our marriage and solidifying that in christ and that's how
two Two different cultures,
(22:00):
two different people from different countries have come able to come together
and be able to be with one another.
It really is a story that, for me, is mind-blowing that someone came from South
America and the other one came from Kazakhstan or Kyrgyzstan from Slavic roots and upbringing.
(22:23):
Yeah. Yeah, it really is humbling to know that the Lord wrote this story specifically
and we've seen him through it.
So I'm just really grateful to be married to you. I'm grateful to be married to you.
I love you. So I love you too, Sunshine.
So now that you know a little bit about us, when you're wondering how it works
(22:46):
out, you'll know. No, we say prayers together when we're struggling to communicate.
When we are having a difficult time, we'll ask each other, hey,
could you just stop for a second and pray right now with me?
We will literally pause any arguments we had in the past and we will pray.
(23:06):
And that was so hard from the beginning because especially if you have never
seen that play out or someone showed that to you in your life, that was so new to us.
And it was difficult to do as well. But it became little by little easier and
(23:28):
easier to do because we understood that it doesn't matter whether I'm right or wrong right now.
And exactly how I feel is that it's the Lord that matters.
And when you come to God and together, and oh boy, it's hard,
and it's difficult because you're trying to set your humanness aside,
(23:49):
that to make it not about yourself and not about your feelings.
But you—and when you come to the Lord together.
And the Lord answers. He helps. He steps in. He lifts up all that heaviness.
And when you put your eyes in Jesus Christ, it's not just how others say it. Put your eyes in Jesus.
(24:11):
No, you have to take that step. You have to choose God.
You have to choose the Lord, and you have to choose peace, peace in your marriage,
peace in your home, and love above the fact whether you want to be right right
now or right or wrong. Yeah.
And then we're going to be talking more about communication in the next episode.
(24:33):
I will leave you with this.
For those who are thinking of marriage outside of your own culture or of your
own language, know this.
The Lord is the one who will place your spouse in your life.
Indeed. In order to find that person, ask
the holy spirit for help lean in seek
(24:54):
out the lord he will answer you and
he will bless you greatly he says his word
says he loved for those who love him he will bless right so if you're going
to believe for the spouse that he has for you he already has that person in
mind so pray for that person i know that mark was praying for me and i started
(25:16):
praying for my future husband at that time before I met him.
And the Lord answered for each other.
So we'll just leave you with that, that you need to seek out the Lord if you're
wondering what's next, and then you gotta put Jesus in the middle of it.
That is how you're gonna love your spouse the best way possible.
Indeed, definitely. Thank you so much for listening, and we appreciate it.
(25:40):
And we hope that you have been inspired, had some good laughs from this episode.
May God bless you, and you now know a little bit more about Mark and Cindy.
(26:02):
Music.
Hello i'm mark and i'm cindy and
we're the hosts of mercy on display a storytelling podcast about god's mercy
in people's lives from dating to marriage parenting to careers and everything
in between we hope you'll be inspired encouraged and grounded in god's purpose.
Music.
For your own life we're glad you're here thanks for joining us,
(00:44):
Hello, everyone. Hello, everyone. Welcome to the show and good evening.
Today, we're going to be talking about how the Lord brought us together.
Which is a very exciting story
that i that i like to share it's both i think it's
very could be surprising for
the little bit the older generation and still surprising for the our age group
(01:10):
even as as well so yeah nonetheless exciting because actually it's it's wonderful
the way the lord writes his story yeah so if you heard episode one episode Episode two,
I briefly hint at that the Lord told me about Mark.
So when I was in law school, I actually got partnered up with a young man named
(01:35):
Mark from my church in Indianapolis.
He was not my husband.
And I remember hearing that name and it meant something to me.
It was very special. I thought that name I should hold on to means something. It's special.
I thought maybe I'll name my child Mark or something. I think that's what I thought.
And then I remember way before I got baptized, after a really bad breakup situation,
(02:01):
I was in my law school's library looking up at the moon.
And I said, Lord, is there someone out there who can love so much and give so
much of themselves like the way I do? Deeply, yeah.
Is there someone who can make the room just brighter and smile and who's so kind and gentle?
(02:24):
And the Lord replied to me he said yeah there is and I said really like someone
who has the same personality as me someone who understands me and he said yeah
there is and what if he's bald,
I'm not even kidding you that is what the Lord said what if he's bald and I thought,
(02:46):
just kind of chuckled to myself I was like well I guess that's not bad and I
remember actually going on a date with a bald man and this is before us this
is before us and like i was just like no this is this is this person's not it
this person's definitely not the one but i gave it a shot.
(03:07):
So what's interesting is that both you and i were were interested in from history
and learning and And you and I,
we were part of the same Myers-Briggs personality test Facebook group on Facebook, which are ENFJs.
Yes. So if you're familiar with this test, it basically is very similar personalities.
(03:32):
It varies by percentages. But for those who don't know what this is,
this is basically a test where it tells you what your personality is.
Like if you're an extrovert, an introvert, a person who's very intuitive,
or maybe you're more kind of a person who feels or thinks, or a more organized
person, or you're a disorganized person,
(03:54):
doesn't mean they're bad qualities, it just makes up the percentages of who you are.
And so we were really into that type of test and finding out what the people
around us and how they think.
And I think those tests as well would actually help whether you're in school
or if it's, like you shared with me much later that even some actually professions or some jobs,
(04:20):
some companies will have you test for that.
And just for the sense of to find out your strengths, maybe even your weaknesses
to better understand of what do you gravitate towards, how to communicate. Yeah.
And so we were both part of the same group. And I remember Mark posted something about the Lord and...
(04:42):
He posted that he had recently gotten rejected when I was thinking or gone through
a breakup, something like that.
And I thought, well, me too.
And this guy is so positive about talking about the Lord and on a public forum talking about God.
So I said, I commented and I said, this is great.
(05:03):
You know, I barely ever see someone who posts about this.
If you ever need someone to talk to, let me know.
But I kind of didn't mean it. And then as I logged off- You were actually scared.
You were thinking like, why- Well, I logged off Facebook and then I felt the
Lord say, you should message him. I was like, am I really?
And it wasn't like, you know, he and the Lord's voice, the voice of the Lord.
(05:24):
It was more like a feeling. Like the Lord put that in my heart.
And I thought, okay, I will send him a message.
And mind you, Mark had really scary photos back then.
I still do. No, you did not. I actually smile now for a Slavic.
Yeah, no, he did not smile in his photos. He looked pretty scary.
(05:48):
But I thought, you know, if I am feeling this gut feeling that I need to message,
and I didn't know what to call it, you know, I just could feel like it was coming
from God, then I need to message this person.
I thought he was just kind of my friend or something, someone to help me through
the difficult time I was going through.
And that was yeah that was actually
(06:09):
so i think it was it was very
interesting and i believe that it that that moment in
that journey helped the both of us because unlike you
said going through breakups going through broken relationships
or and things like that and and
we both started off as friends and i believe just as
in a sense of support for one another and
(06:31):
it was not long and until i
started expressing my romantic interest to
you that hey you're very beautiful you're
cute well first of
all let me clarify to the public that you were in oregon i
was in indiana so miles away the fact that this gentleman i already had talked
(06:54):
to him on the phone and on facetime i could tell he was a real person he was
very kind a christian had been praying with me he started saying I think you're very beautiful and.
And kind of flirting by text message, I told my friends, I don't know what to do.
(07:15):
What do I do with this? Honestly, what do I do with this? My friends encouraged me, honestly.
They all said, well, he sounds like a very genuine person, a kind person.
And I remember telling you the only way I would meet you is if my mom, my family is there.
Because you have to be careful nowadays. You have to be really careful.
Definitely. And so my mom drove up to my city and we met you at the airport.
(07:39):
And my mom says, actually looking back now, she says, when I met him,
I thought, oh boy, they have the same personality. This is something.
And I remember we went to a Thai restaurant in downtown Indianapolis, my favorite place.
(07:59):
And you were so charming but very kind very very quiet and you opened the door
for me and you pulled out an umbrella so I wouldn't get wet because it started
to rain and I remember looking up at you and I saw your eyes and they changed
color but at that time they were green,
and I remember hearing the Lord say there he
(08:22):
is that's it that that's all
he said there he is and my heart just
felt like it was going a thousand miles a minute
and i was so
i turned red thinking can my mom hear my heartbeat she knows she knows yeah
(08:42):
yeah so that was the beginning and you you met my family from that moment on
it was a lot of traveling yeah i think i traveled.
Give or take maybe close to every four months to see you.
I remember actually, I haven't shared that with you until much later.
(09:07):
I think I ran out of vacation time.
And so my boss was up front. He said, it looks like you have no vacation time.
Like you want to take the time off, it's going to be unpaid.
I said, I definitely know what I'm getting into. Definitely, yes, I understand.
I'm going. So, of course, I'm not sharing details at work, you know,
like, hey, I'm interested in this wonderful, beautiful girl.
(09:29):
She's all the way out in Indiana, but I definitely wanted to see her. Wow.
I think you briefly shared that, but not all the details. So,
wow. I don't even know what to say to that.
Besides, I was very much falling in love with you. and I just was very excited
(09:52):
because I knew that our relationship was not just dating.
I knew our relationship would lead to marriage.
And this is where the difficult part comes, we have different cultures.
Definitely, yeah. You're Slavic, so you speak Christian.
You come from a Sabbath-keeping community. I'm Latina. I come from a Catholic
(10:15):
community, but I'm becoming a Christian.
I'm a national Christian, and I definitely don't want to go back into a church that has rituals.
Right. And so I'm thinking at that time, everything's going to work out. The Lord told me, right?
But on your end. It was a tough journey for us, especially for my side of the
(10:40):
family, for parents, because, you know, this was definitely a young Slavic guy,
your own kid, your own son.
And definitely stepping out of the norm or circle or what maybe they would have, were expecting.
It's like, and Mark has fallen in love with this Latina girl,
(11:03):
a thousand miles away, and they're dating, they have a relationship,
and when you're Christian, And, you know, and obviously the conversations that
come next are about like, okay, you know, marriage, what does that look like to you?
(11:24):
You start talking about the future, you know, your values, what's important for you.
And from having children, raising the family.
So all of those important questions. And so it definitely was very difficult,
I think, on my side of the family, for parents, and a long journey,
(11:44):
and it wasn't easy for you.
And I think also it was the language, I mean, being able to communicate with
your parents who understand some English, but their main primary language is Russian.
I think that was a fear of, is there going to be communication?
How are we going to communicate as a family?
So we broke up. Yeah, there was a moment that we actually broke up.
(12:06):
For about a month? Mm-hmm, for a month.
After, I think we were dating for a year. That's right, yeah.
And things didn't go well as well when I had visited here, your family.
It was very chaotic between my parents and your parents for a little bit.
And I thought, why isn't it working out?
(12:26):
The Lord told me this. Like, what is going on? You know, I'm so confused.
Confused, I'm upset, I'm thinking, I know Mark's a wonderful man,
whoever gets to marry him, because at this point, I'm thinking,
I have to, I have no choice but to forget about it, right?
I thought, okay, Lord, I'm heartbroken thinking that he's going to end up with somebody else,
(12:50):
but at the same time, she's going to be so blessed, whoever ends up with Mark,
mark it's going to be have joy in her life he's
going to care for her so well and i cried
and i remember thinking all right
lord if mark was so amazing and
such an incredible person to have
(13:10):
in my life even for that brief time and i and you say you have better things
for those who love you then lord and that this i was already baptized i was
already saved i said lord then i trust that that you're going to put the right
person in my path, and it's going to be better than Mark.
I don't know how. I can't even imagine that. But somehow, it's going to be better
(13:32):
than Mark. And I just prayed for you. I prayed for your future,
that the Lord will bless it.
And I said, all right, in Jesus' name, amen. And then the next day, you called me.
Crying on the phone, saying I'm sorry.
Yeah. And from that moment on.
He continually told me how much he loved me. And we got engaged in Washington, D.C.
(13:58):
It was very special. It was on 4th of July. It was just so beautiful.
And now here we are, six years later, going on to our seventh year of marriage.
Praise the Lord. Praise God.
And I knew that you were going to be my wife when we were dating.
And it was so hard to see that tug and pull,
(14:23):
to see my family in the middle, because I wanted to have peace,
not any turmoil or any heaviness or any problems with my side of the family.
And then the question that can remain in my heart and my mind,
like, okay, why is this not working out?
I understand there's big differences between between, well, mainly it was actually
(14:48):
a culture, the Latino culture and the Slavic culture.
It's so similar from family values, upbringing and things like that.
I think it was mainly the language. I just want to try and get to the language.
Honestly, I'm not Slavic. Like I'm not a, I'm half Caucasian.
You know, I'm not full Caucasian and there's a lot of history in my family.
(15:11):
And I think your parents had a lot of concerns and
obviously I had a very questionable background compared to
a Slavic girl who grows up in the church right and
and they they were aware of that and they also were aware that I had recently
gotten saved and they were very joyous and happy for that I know that and I
love your family I love I loved mom since then and she's she's always been my
(15:37):
mom my second mom so I definitely thought.
From what I've learned is that there's this perception of the Latina community
and the Slavic community that has a good reputation in other marriages that
have happened cross-culturally perhaps or stories they've heard from others
(15:58):
or things that they've seen.
But the thing is, you can't judge a person just by somebody else's story.
You really can't. I think we could be be hypocrites yourself by doing that,
for judging somebody else just from one story or from one circumstance you've
had or a few of those. Each person is different.
(16:19):
And how the Lord uses that person, that's what matters. How is the Lord in their lives?
Is there fruit of the Holy Spirit showing in their lives?
And I know that with me and with you,
the person that matters the most in our marriage it's
not each other it's god he's the
(16:40):
one that unifies us people ask
well you have different cultures different languages how do
you make it work well here's a beautiful wonderful thing my parents love mark
they speak english mark's learning spanish and they love him they ask about
him my mom calls him her beautiful boy you know she loves you her third child
(17:01):
your father My father has grown to know who I am.
And the other day he called me hija, which means daughter in Spanish.
That made me almost tear up, but I didn't want to tear up in public.
It really is the transformation of the Lord.
Because I remember October 6th, you told your parents you were going to marry me.
(17:26):
And I flew into Portland and we wanted your parents' blessing. Thank you.
And it went from your family did not want me to be involved in your life to
your mother being so amazing, asking for forgiveness for any wrongdoing.
I mean, asking her for forgiveness for anything and reconciling.
(17:49):
And I remember her telling me, Cindy, I'm a lioness.
I'm going to fight for my young.
Please forgive me, though. I've treated you. you and
honestly from that moment on i knew that
it was all the lord he is
the one that transformed her heart he's the
one that brought her into that place where she could love and accept someone
(18:13):
else from a different culture into her home despite what anybody else might
say because the lord the lord was the one that was writing the story not her
and i'm really grateful for that amen me Me too.
And so praise God for that. Amen.
So yeah, how do we make it work? The answer is Jesus.
(18:33):
Definitely lots of Jesus. We, and for Cindy and I, we even see immediately,
you know, if things at any moment started getting over the top,
you know, over our heads and whether, you know, and work catches up with us,
you know, stress in some way or form.
And we know that it's not gonna be us that are going to fix it,
(18:57):
But it's taking that step as a husband and wife to seek out the Lord.
That you go to the Lord in prayer.
And the Lord helps. He immediately helps.
When the tensions are high, you're thinking either you're upset at one another
and or you're upset at the amount of stress that could be around your life.
(19:22):
But the Lord immediately reminds you that when you have your eyes on Jesus Christ,
that he's able to take any heaviness away, that he's able to bring in his peace.
And that's exactly how we just take those steps in order to make our marriage work.
(19:45):
It will never be that, you know, Mark is so amazing or Cindy is so amazing that
both of us understand that we have to search out God, seek out the Lord, come to Him in prayer.
For us, as we use this analogy with others, that it's like a triangle,
that you have Cindy, you have Mark, and you have Jesus, you have the Lord.
(20:09):
And the more that we walk towards God, we know that we will be closer to one another as well.
We can be on the same page. We can experience the Lord's peace.
We can experience the Lord's joy.
Yeah. Yeah. I know that we took premarital classes before we even got married
and I was with an American pastor and he recommended the book by- Timothy Keller.
(20:33):
Thank you. And it's called The Meaning of Marriage.
So this book, I remember, I don't remember everything, but I do remember him
talking about serving one another.
And that's literally what we've been trying to do in our life.
Yeah, definitely. And I've never sat down with the pastor. I never had that approach.
(20:54):
I know that lately I've been hearing that some of our churches are taking those
steps of premarital marriage.
Counseling in in a way and i think
that's so beneficial for for young couples and that
really has helped me and and for the
both of us that it was before we even got
married before we were a husband and wife that we
(21:17):
and this this book is written by a
christian author yes and this book
really was what was a cornerstone of what
a marriage communication should look like in
christ christ and and we went
from being two very
young people who've never been married who've never lived with anybody else
(21:39):
to trying to figure out
how to communicate how to serve and love one another to break generational cycles
or anything like that in our families to how how we are now where we've spent
so much time into our marriage and solidifying that in christ and that's how
two Two different cultures,
(22:00):
two different people from different countries have come able to come together
and be able to be with one another.
It really is a story that, for me, is mind-blowing that someone came from South
America and the other one came from Kazakhstan or Kyrgyzstan from Slavic roots and upbringing.
(22:23):
Yeah. Yeah, it really is humbling to know that the Lord wrote this story specifically
and we've seen him through it.
So I'm just really grateful to be married to you. I'm grateful to be married to you.
I love you. So I love you too, Sunshine.
So now that you know a little bit about us, when you're wondering how it works
(22:46):
out, you'll know. No, we say prayers together when we're struggling to communicate.
When we are having a difficult time, we'll ask each other, hey,
could you just stop for a second and pray right now with me?
We will literally pause any arguments we had in the past and we will pray.
(23:06):
And that was so hard from the beginning because especially if you have never
seen that play out or someone showed that to you in your life, that was so new to us.
And it was difficult to do as well. But it became little by little easier and
(23:28):
easier to do because we understood that it doesn't matter whether I'm right or wrong right now.
And exactly how I feel is that it's the Lord that matters.
And when you come to God and together, and oh boy, it's hard,
and it's difficult because you're trying to set your humanness aside,
(23:49):
that to make it not about yourself and not about your feelings.
But you—and when you come to the Lord together.
And the Lord answers. He helps. He steps in. He lifts up all that heaviness.
And when you put your eyes in Jesus Christ, it's not just how others say it. Put your eyes in Jesus.
(24:11):
No, you have to take that step. You have to choose God.
You have to choose the Lord, and you have to choose peace, peace in your marriage,
peace in your home, and love above the fact whether you want to be right right
now or right or wrong. Yeah.
And then we're going to be talking more about communication in the next episode.
(24:33):
I will leave you with this.
For those who are thinking of marriage outside of your own culture or of your
own language, know this.
The Lord is the one who will place your spouse in your life.
Indeed. In order to find that person, ask
the holy spirit for help lean in seek
(24:54):
out the lord he will answer you and
he will bless you greatly he says his word
says he loved for those who love him he will bless right so if you're going
to believe for the spouse that he has for you he already has that person in
mind so pray for that person i know that mark was praying for me and i started
(25:16):
praying for my future husband at that time before I met him.
And the Lord answered for each other.
So we'll just leave you with that, that you need to seek out the Lord if you're
wondering what's next, and then you gotta put Jesus in the middle of it.
That is how you're gonna love your spouse the best way possible.
Indeed, definitely. Thank you so much for listening, and we appreciate it.
(25:40):
And we hope that you have been inspired, had some good laughs from this episode.
May God bless you, and you now know a little bit more about Mark and Cindy.
(26:02):
Music.
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