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January 6, 2025 63 mins

Have you ever dreamed of starting over, simplifying your life, and finding true fulfillment? Gail McNeill shares her inspiring journey of leaving her corporate job in the UK at 56, selling her 22-room home, and creating a minimalist, vibrant life in Portugal. In this episode, Gail and Wendy dive into the courage it takes to embrace change, the beauty of downsizing, and the freedom that comes with focusing on what truly matters. Gail also offers her top wellness tips, her experience with intermittent fasting, and insights from her transformative book, The Midlife Edit. If you’re ready to thrive in midlife, this episode is your guide to designing your next chapter!

 

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
>> Gail (00:00):
Because your path in life is growing in front of you. It
always is. And it's up to you. Sliding doors. Do you get
on the train? Do you not get on the train? I always say,
get on the train. You can get off the train again, but
get on the train. And that's the advice I give to everybody. When
I don't know what to do or I'm scared, I'm just like,
what's the worst that can happen? You know, if you're jumping out, if you're jumping

(00:20):
out of a plane with a parachute, I say, don't do that. But
apart from that, you know, just try it, do it. If you don't
like it, go back to what you've done before.

>> Wendy Valentine (00:29):
Hey, midlifers, welcome to the midlife.
Are you ready to break free from your mundane
midlife? Are you feeling trapped in a vicious cycle
of rinse and repeat days? No matter if you're
experiencing a divorce, hangover, job burnout,
or you just have the midlife blues, I
got you. Hey, I'm Wendy, your

(00:50):
hostess of the midlife mostest. I, too, was hit
by midlife like a freight train. I too felt stuck
in the same dull chapter. I wanted the
clarity of how to create a new life beyond divorce
and the courage to leave an unfair, fulfilling
career. But I kept telling myself that I wasn't
worthy. And it was just easier to stay in my comfort

(01:10):
zone until I found a little secret.
The freedom to live my life my way.
In this podcast, you will learn how to achieve
a vibrant midlife mind and body, how to create
solid relationships through love and loss, and
how to create an awesome second half of
life. Grab your grande latte, pop in

(01:30):
your earbuds, and let's get this midlife party
started.
Hey there, my beautiful midlife maven.
Big news. Enrollment is officially
open for my Freedom at MidLife 7 week
group coaching program starting January
16th. This program is your step
by step guide to transforming your life and

(01:53):
rediscovering the confident, joyful
and badass version of Y O
U. If you've been feeling stuck,
overwhelmed, or even a little lost,
don't worry. I got you, girl. And
hey, you may have missed the three dollar coupon
that expired on December 31st, but, uh,

(02:13):
no worries. I'm still giving you
200 off. Just use the
code 200 at checkout
before January 10th. And let me
tell you why I created this program.
At age 45, my life was a
mess. And I mean an absolute mess.

(02:34):
I was broke, divorced, sick, and
emotionally drained. I felt stuck
Staring at a pile of broken pieces and
wondering what the heck just happened?
How do I even begin to fix this?
Then one day, I had this crazy
vision of myself driving an

(02:54):
RV across the country. Free,
happy, confident, and at peace.
That vision saved me because
it showed me what was possible. Fast
forward to today. I, uh, rebuilt my
life step by step and created
the exact tools and techniques I teach
you in this program. And guess what?

(03:16):
If I can do it, so can you. I
promise. Here's what's waiting for you and
the Freedom Program. Seven
transformative steps with easy to
follow tutorials. From rediscovering
your inner superhero to building
confidence, setting boundaries, and creating a
life you love, this program has, ah,

(03:39):
everything you need to thrive in midlife.
You'll also be a part of the Sister Circle
community. You'll have a private group of
incredible women cheering you on every
step of the way. You'll get the Freedom
Playbook, your personal guide to walk you through each
step. And we meet every
single week for live coaching,

(04:01):
calls for guidance, encouragement, and a
little Q A. And you get my
exclusive meditation series designed
to nourish your mind, body and
soul. Let's be honest here. If
you're feeling stuck, disconnected from your dreams,
or frustrated with your health and energy,
this program is for you.

(04:24):
Midlife isn't an ending. Let me remind you of
that. It is not an ending. It's a chance to reinvent
yourself and create the life you deserve.
I want you to head over to
freedomidlife.com to sign
up. Use code 200 to
save $200. But hurry. Please, please,
please. This offer ends on January

(04:46):
10th. All right, let's dive into
today's episode. But seriously, don't forget to join us.
Uh, your freedom is waiting.
Hey there, my beautiful midlife warriors. And welcome
back to the Midlife Makeover Show. I'm your host, Wendy
Valentine. And today's guest is someone who
truly embodies courage, transformation,

(05:07):
and the beauty of embracing limitless possibilities
at midlife. Gail has been on an
incredible journey, and she's here to inspire
us all in 2019. At, uh, 56
years young, she did what many of us only
dream about. She quit her corporate job in the
uk, uprooted her life, and designed a

(05:27):
minimalist haven in the stunning landscapes
of southern Portugal. Yes, Gail and I are
neighbors. How cool is that? But Gail's
journey isn't just about creating a new home. It's about
building a new life. One rooted in holistic
wellness, personal development, and a whole lot of
adventure from plant based whole Food cooking and
intermittent fasting to meditation.

(05:49):
Kettlebells, paddle boarding and hiking. My
fave. This woman has mastered the art of
thriving in midlife and beyond. Her
new book, the Midlife Edit, it's excellent.
A transformative self help Journey for Women is
a premier guide for women in midlife who are ready to
rediscover their purpose, build resilience, and

(06:09):
create a life they love. Today,
Gail will be sharing her story, her top
tips for holistic wellness and how
you can transform midlife into your
greatest chapter yet. Please
welcome the incredible Gail to the show.

>> Gail (06:27):
Ah. That was amazing.

>> Wendy Valentine (06:29):
Thank you.

>> Gail (06:29):
I was wondering who that was about. It's about me.

>> Wendy Valentine (06:32):
Who is that amazing woman?

>> Gail (06:34):
I want to meet her. Uh.

>> Wendy Valentine (06:37):
We had such a great chat even before we hit record.
I mean, we have so much in
common. We both live in Portugal. We both sold
everything. We both were like, the heck with this, let's
start something new. So
what inspired you to just like, all
right, I'm going to start a new life. I'm leaving
my corporate job, I'm moving to Portugal. What

(07:00):
sparked that?

>> Gail (07:03):
Well, big question. So
I had always been somebody who was very
success focused, success driven,
and I was very motivated by
success. So I. The harder I work,
the more money I earned, uh, the bigger the house I got, the better my
car got. And I ended up with this

(07:23):
huge house with 22 rooms. It was, it was
huge and it was the most beautiful house.
It was very run down when we bought it, but over the
years we, uh, restored it. It. And it was
stunning. And then there were a couple of things that
kind of changed the way that I thought. So I was
in the house and I walked into one of the rooms and

(07:43):
then I had this moment of when was the last time
I came in this room? And I couldn't remember the
last time I'd been in that room. And I figured, well, I
obviously don't need it if I am not going in this
room. And then the second
thing was I had got
everything I'd always
wanted. You know, the beautiful house, the beautiful

(08:05):
cars, the luxury holidays, everything. I
needed money in the bank. But I still, I still
felt like I wanted something else. Something else. But what
is that something else? What is that something else? And
then I realized that, you know, actually the most precious thing
I could gain, obtain is
time. That's the most. That's the most precious

(08:26):
thing. And it's something I didn't have because, I mean,
it was, it was my own choice to be
so focused on the success. And I don't know why, but it
was suddenly having this huge house, which is two of us in it,
and thinking, why am I working so
hard to basically keep this house,
this huge family home that two people are
in? What is. What is that giving me? Of course, it's an

(08:48):
investment, and it's going up every year, and it's something that I can sell
and downsize. But is it giving me any joy? Well,
not really, because it's. Takes so much maintenance, it takes so much
money, uh, to actually just stand still
with that home. And so I thought, well, I've got this
nice house, nice car, nice everything, but
I'm still seeking something else. And
then I. I watched the film up

(09:11):
in the Air with George Clooney. Oh, yeah, yeah,
yeah. And in the
film, he says, oh, imagine everything you
own in a backpack. And he's talking about how,
uh, your belongings are a burden.
And honestly, I don't think I heard another word of that
film, because all I could think of, I was fixated on the

(09:32):
idea, uh, of, oh, my goodness,
what if you could get everything you own, uh, in a
backpack? Imagine how agile you'd be.
Imagine where you could go live wherever you wanted, you
know? And then I start looking around the house, and I'm like, what's that
painting on the wall? What value is it bringing me? I've got to look after it.
I've got to clean it. It's just sitting there. Uh, and so.

(09:52):
And then I'm going around the house and I'm. Why do I need shoes? Why
do I need that many coats? Why do I need all this gardening
equipment? Excuse me.
And then, um, I. I just looked at this house
and thought, I. I don't need this. And
actually, if I sold this house, I could go anywhere
in the world if I wanted to. So

(10:12):
I said to my husband, sorry, I've had
a cold. I'll let you edit that out.

>> Wendy Valentine (10:19):
We'll edit that cough. Yeah,
Jack, edit that cough.

>> Gail (10:25):
So, um. So my husband and I had always
talked about moving to Italy. Moving to Italy. And
I'd learned Italian. We'd been to Italy maybe
30 times. That's no exaggeration. We've been to Italy.
And I got this idea of, well,
actually, you know, why Italy? Why not somewhere else?
And so this whole journey began really, really

(10:45):
quickly, from watching George Clooney
to realizing my son was never going to come home. He left
home when he was on his
adventures. And then we thought, well, we're saving this
family home for him, but he's not in It.
So, uh, this is our
opportune moment to do something different.
So we don't have anyone else that we're responsible for. My

(11:07):
parents are healthy, uh, they're self
sufficient. I don't have any more children. I only have one
child. We had, um, we had the ability
to downsize, get our capital from our house
and then say, hey, let's do something crazy.
So we said, this is a window of opportunity. Not everyone has
that, but we have that window of opportunity. Maybe things change
in the future. Maybe we have to go back to the uk.

(11:30):
Maybe we have to settle somewhere, I don't know. But we thought this
is a window of opportunity. But we were still thinking about
Italy. And then I just happened to see this
show about, uh, the north of Portugal
actually, and this couple were relocated to the
north of Portugal. And I thought, that's the kind of Portugal I
haven't seen. I haven't seen that. It's,
it's so rugged, it's so beautiful. It's so

(11:52):
unspoiled. It's so rustic. So
typical me. Booked a flight for, uh, within 48
hours of seeing that TV show.
So.

>> Wendy Valentine (12:01):
Awesome.

>> Gail (12:02):
Yeah, about 48 hours to seeing that TV show. We
were there in the north of Portugal, and yes, the
scenery is stunning. It's beautiful, it's fantastic, it's
outstanding. It's just, just, it's just so
unspoiled and the windswept. And then it started
raining and it didn't stop raining. And I was like, well, if I'm going to move to
a country, I, I really don't want to move anywhere where
it's raining. And then we looked on the weather chart and it

(12:25):
said it wasn't raining in Algarve. And I said, oh, I don't want to go to Algarve.
That's where everyone goes in Portugal.

>> Wendy Valentine (12:31):
But there's a reason why they go there, right?

>> Gail (12:33):
We put in the car and we drove down to the south of
Portugal. We were like, that's why people come here because
it's always sunny. So, um,
so yeah, that's. That was the whole story of we've got this house,
don't need it anymore, got this window of opportunity. Let's
go somewhere else. We came to Portugal.
I walked into the market hall in Lol, which is

(12:53):
a market town in, in Algar. And I just said,
I can do this, I could live here. I can do it. And I think
the thing is, most people overthink things and I just thought, let's not overthink
it. I can think of a million reasons not to do it, but I only need
one reason to do it. And that's. That's why,
uh, and that was the decision to just go, right, let's go for it. And that's
what we did.

>> Wendy Valentine (13:12):
So courageous. You know, it's interesting, like,
with change, change can be either
voluntary or involuntary, right? Like, so, for
example, you get served with divorce papers that
you're being forced to change, right? If you get,
uh, fired from your job, you are being forced to change. If you
get a bad diagnosis, you're being forced to

(13:32):
write. But then when you're living
a comfortable, nice life,
to voluntarily go, you know what, let's
just uproot this whole thing and do something
totally different. To me, that's
even more courageous, because that's like,
you could have. You could have just stayed right where

(13:53):
you were. What did your friends and family think when you were
like, yeah, we're going to move to Portugal.

>> Gail (13:57):
I don't think they were too surprised because originally, um,
we had lived in the middle of England. So we
were in the middle of England. That's the only place
to say, really. Says in Worcestershire. And then,
um, I decided I wanted to live by the. By the sea,
by the ocean. So one day I just put my house
on the market and moved, you know, three hours away down

(14:18):
to the coast. And people. That people are like, why, you know, all your
family live here? And I said, well, I want to live by the ocean. So
they. I've got a bit of a history of, oh, let's just do
it. Don't just. Let's just do it.
So, I mean, I've got a story. My husband will tell you. This is
completely true. He came home from work
and said, there's a for sale sign in the garden. I don't

(14:38):
think that should be there. Who's. I wonder where that. I went, oh, no, no,
we're moving. I've already put on the
market. It's already on the market. Don't worry about
it. I've sorted it out. And so he's. He's used
to my, um.

>> Wendy Valentine (14:51):
He's totally cool with it.

>> Gail (14:53):
Yeah. Because I used to get annoyed with him when I do these things.
Kind of spur the moment. So I remember being at work and someone said, oh,
I've just come back from Thailand. It was amazing. And, oh, let
me show you some pictures. I was like, oh, I fancy going there
straight online. Books and flights, booked a holiday.
Um, and I said to my husband, are you doing anything for the next Two weeks. He was
like, no, no. Can you take two weeks off? He's like,
yeah. Why? I said, I was telling you, when I get home,

(15:15):
I got home, I said, tomorrow. Tomorrow we're going to Thailand
for two weeks. And what. He's
used to me doing things on the spur of the moment. So for me to say, come on, let's
move to Portugal. Yeah, okay, why not? I'm
very lucky in that. He's just like, you want to do it? Let's do
it. You know, am I not. I don't. Do I want to do it?
I don't know. She wants to do it. Let's do it. You know, what can go

(15:35):
wrong? What can go wrong at the end of the day?

>> Wendy Valentine (15:38):
Yeah. What, uh, what fears or doubts,
if any, bubble to the surface during this whole
time?

>> Gail (15:45):
I think learning the language was the biggest thing
because, um, you know, when you're
younger, it's so easy to pick up a language and it's so
easy to mingle with
people. Yeah. Ah. If you've got. Especially if you've got children. If you've
got children, you're at the school gate and you hear other languages
and you hear people, and there's children's parties

(16:05):
and so. And so you're meeting other parents.
But I. The only concern for me was how do
I meet people without relying on expats,
without other English immigrants.
And I really have shied away from
that because. Oh, we've got a meeting, English, uh,
expats, next Tuesday. You're coming. No, no, I'm not

(16:25):
coming because I want to. I want to meet people. I want to meet
Portuguese. I want to meet people from
other countries. I don't want to just stay in my little piece of
England. It's very easy to do that. And I'm sure it's the same for you in
Madeira, is it?

>> Wendy Valentine (16:37):
Yep. Yeah. It is very easy to kind of get
in a comfort zone and stay with the same.
But I'm like you. I want it. Like, there's. Why did
I move to Portugal? Like, because I want to meet Portuguese. I want to
eat Portuguese food. Like, you know, if I want to do the
same thing and hang out. Not that, you know, I'm against hanging out with Americans
here, but, you know, it's like, I want to meet different

(16:58):
cultures, and that's what. Is. What's great here. I'm sure for you,
too, in the Algarve, you meet people from all
over, which is so cool.
Yeah. That people want to. That visit your.
Where you live, which Is pretty neat. Cruise ships and,
like, it's so cool.

>> Gail (17:14):
Oh, yeah. Because you get more cruise ships there. We don't get cruise ships
here. Uh, I know at one point that I think they may get
put into Portimout, which is quite far from here. They
do pull in there, but we get a lot of American visitors
here. Canadian, uh, Canadians, especially in the winter,
because, of course, the winters are quite mild here. But, uh, there's
lots of English, lots of French, lots, uh, of

(17:34):
Swedish as well. So. Yes, that was my only
concern, which was, you know, how am I going to meet people if I don't
speak fluent Portuguese? However,
the. As we discussed before this, uh, a lot
the Portuguese can speak English
fluently. And they. They understand the sense of
humor, um, comedy,
timing, everything. They're so in tune.

(17:57):
And no one was. No one was happier than me going to the
cinema and realizing that all films are in
English. Yes.

>> Wendy Valentine (18:04):
Yes. Yeah. And they're. And they're just so welcoming and
friendly, and that makes it easier to. To be able
to adjust and kind of move into a new society.
Yeah.

>> Gail (18:13):
Yeah.

>> Wendy Valentine (18:14):
What were some of the biggest challenges when you were downsizing and
decluttering?

>> Gail (18:20):
Oh, uh, I. I think the thing
is, I think for a lot of people it would be really, really hard to let
go of things. But I don't have any emotional
attachment on objects. None at all.
I think some people would say I'm very cold, the, uh, way that I
deal with things. So, for example,
I, uh, love the whole Dodd stagnant, the whole Swedish death
cleaning. That whole philosophy of.

>> Wendy Valentine (18:43):
Yes.

>> Gail (18:43):
Getting rid of everything before you get too old to be
able to deal with it yourself.

>> Wendy Valentine (18:48):
Right.

>> Gail (18:48):
Uh, so when I was downsizing, I'd pick something up. My.
My son is 30 now. He was that. He's 30 now.
But at the time, you know, you've got these drawings and these books and
the cards and things. And I just thought, you
know, a normal person would hang on to these.
I'm burning them. And, um, the reason I
burnt them is because there's no going back from

(19:08):
burning them. And that's true.

>> Wendy Valentine (19:11):
Yeah.

>> Gail (19:11):
And even with photographs, I had packets and
packets of photographs. And I would open the
packet and I'd only allow myself to choose one from each
packet. And then I burn the
negatives and I burn the photos
because I thought, there's no going back. I've made
that decision. I've picked my one photo. It has to go. So

(19:31):
I think that most people would have found downsizing
difficult from the emotional aspect of
things. That, uh, the emotions attached to
objects. I don't have that. I don't have that
at all.

>> Wendy Valentine (19:43):
I don't either. Yeah, so, I mean, the way I look at it,
you come into this world with nothing, you will leave with
nothing.

>> Gail (19:50):
Yeah.

>> Wendy Valentine (19:50):
So what? Who cares? Like what? And, and
now, like with traveling, like when you were talking about
the house, selling the house and getting
rid of everything. Right. Meant freedom.
Freedom to travel, freedom to like the
backpack way of life, right?

>> Gail (20:07):
Yeah.

>> Wendy Valentine (20:07):
Because otherwise you're stuck and it
makes it so much challenging. And now, I mean,
I love buying little knickknacks. I used to, but
now, uh, I'll pick something up. And I'm like, do
I really want to carry this sucker around everywhere?
Like, and in the rv,
it's like the rule is if you bring something in,

(20:27):
something has to go. Yes. So then
I'm like, oh, no, what am I? Like, if I buy
this, something's gotta go. Like. But
it's, it's so freeing, isn't it?

>> Gail (20:38):
Oh, it's amazing. It's amazing because I,
I. Little things can cause not arguments in our house. I'll
give you an example. My husband bought me this little
carved. He knows I love birds. I absolutely love birds. He bought me
this little carved wooden bird. I can't tell you how angry
it made me. He's like, why? You look
angry, you look upset. And I said, I just

(20:59):
got rid of everything I owned. Um, I just gave away everything
I owned. And you're giving me something I really don't
need. And I was trying to get it into his
head, when you go on a trip, please don't bring me anything back unless it's
food. I don't want it because I don't need
things. I mean, the things behind me, I've had to kind of
grab them to kind of get little stage behind me. This

(21:19):
painting I made myself with some acrylic paints and
a three pound canvas. Because I was like, I have to
create this, this illusion. I'm living in this
lovely, you know, create creative space.
But actually I live in a, uh, rented house with
everything. All the furniture is. Came with the
house. Yeah. And I live a very,
very basic life. I buy clothes because I like

(21:42):
buying clothes, but I don't buy many. I think people would be shocked
how few I buy. But I buy food and, um,
clothes occasionally. I don't buy anything else. Nothing
else. Because I, uh, pick like you. I pick it up and go, do I
need this? Will it enhance my life? Yeah. Can I live without
it? If I was, if the house was burning down, would
I save it? No. Right. I don't need it.

>> Wendy Valentine (22:01):
Exactly. You mentioned before, about
time was the one thing that you wanted more
of and, and actually like, yeah. Not having
so many things and stuff to maintain, that gives you
more time. So looking
back at Gail before, what,
what was your day to day life like

(22:22):
then and what is it like now?

>> Gail (22:25):
Well, I think before, because I had this huge house, that
meant it was quite a greedy beast that needed feeding with
money every month. You. I was so focused on
work. I am a workaholic. I,
I freely admit that I'm a
workaholic and I can't help
myself. So suddenly when you don't
have these outgoings every month, it's like, well,

(22:47):
what do I do? I don't have to do that thing
anymore. Yes. To earn, uh, that money. What do I do?
Of course I create more work for myself by doing something else.
I'm like, oh, I need a website. I need to,
I need to motivate other people to do the same as me. I need to
start an Instagram. Not expecting anyone to ever follow me on there.
Maybe 10 people.
And then I find I've got, you know, uh, now

(23:09):
it's over 600,000
people Follow me on there. It's about a million people altogether on all my
platforms. And I'm like, why have I created another beast?
But of course, that one doesn't need feeding in the
same way because this is, that's a creative
outlet for me. That's a way for me to.

>> Wendy Valentine (23:27):
And just sharing, just sharing
Gail with the world.

>> Gail (23:33):
But it's really, it's really different because before I was
motivated by earning the money to feed the beast that
was the house and the car and everything. And
now it. You, I, you still need a
purpose, though. You still need a purpose. And that's where,
uh, the book came from. It's like, well, I found my
way out of the darkness. I need to help other women find their way out
of the darkness. That's what I need to do. I need to

(23:55):
have a value. Because when, when my son left
home. Sorry.
When my son left home, he is
suddenly, uh, he's self sufficient. He's gone. Uh,
which is amazing. That's, that's like, well done, mom. You've done a great
job. He's self sufficient, he's confident, he's successful.
That's great. But it's okay, well, what's my purpose now?

(24:16):
What's my value to society? What's my value in
general? I'm not a mom anymore. I'll always be his mother, but
I'm not a mum anymore because I don't have a day to day role
doing that. So then I created this
other interest. I mean, I've got so
many interests. Origami,
paddleboarding, paint,
painting, writing. Uh,

(24:37):
I'm doing all the things that I didn't have time to do
before.

>> Wendy Valentine (24:41):
Yes, time, yeah, it's time.

>> Gail (24:43):
And I think the thing is, a lot of people don't realize how
precious their time is. So, you
know, we all scroll occasionally. You're scrolling, you're like, what
am I doing? I've just wasted an hour scrolling. I could have
done an hour of Portuguese. I could have painted, I could
have written a poem. I could have, I could have baked a cake,
whatever it is, I could have done something else.

(25:04):
So, um, and also I'm getting to the
age where my friends are dying.
I'm being honest, they're dying. And I'm
thinking, if they had an evening, would
they be scrolling on their phone or would they, would
they, it's so precious that evening,
what would they do with it? So I tried to, I tried to learn things,
I tried to do creative things. So the old me was

(25:26):
working, working, working, exhausted.
Now I'm working when I want to work.
Um, I don't have to earn a lot of money. I
like earning money. Who doesn't like earning money? But I don't have to earn a lot
of money. So now I'm doing things that
have value to me but also have value to other people.
But I'm also doing the creative things as well. You

(25:47):
know, spending more time with my dog, spending more time outside
learning, uh, different sports, um,
taking up kettlebell. I didn't know what I was doing when I started doing that.
Taking up jump rope. It's just
realizing that you are the creator of your
universe. And if you, um, don't take that for
granted, you, you can achieve

(26:08):
so much more. You can be so much more. So the
old me was very work, work, work, work, work,
blinkered. But now my eyes are fully open
and now I'm very conscious that if I'm working too
much, I stop and I take time out to do
things I enjoy because I just don't think people have
enough fun anymore. People have kind of forgotten their inner
child and it has become this very

(26:30):
sensible suit wearing, middle aged
person who, uh, has lost the ability to even laugh
or smile. So that's. The old me was very
serious and the new me is very like,
hey, nothing's the problem? Are we dead? No. Right. Everything's
good.

>> Wendy Valentine (26:45):
Yeah. You know, the number one regret of the dying is
living life for everyone else. And so many people
don't take that big leap because they're so
worried of what everyone else is going to say or what they're going
to think. And, oh, my gosh, I better just stay right where
I'm at. It's going to upset the apple cart.
And then they end up just being bored

(27:06):
or lonely or they're. Or
unfulfilled and, uh,
filling their time with things that they don't really want to
do.

>> Gail (27:15):
No, I think the thing is it's also learning to be authentic
as well. I think when you have a little bit of time, when
you're not focused on money or, you know, paying the bills
and things like that, when you're not paying bills, you can kind of take a
step back and say, well, what makes me happy? Am I being
true to myself? Well, no, if you're working for a corporation, you're
not. You're playing a role, and you're.

(27:35):
You're blinkered in what you're seeing. You're. You're careful about
what you're saying. And then when you no longer work for a
corporation and you don't have somebody, you know,
um, hitting you every day for results, you
can say what you want, you can be who you want.
And, uh, I'm quite. I'm quite an energetic
life. Life, whatever, person. And I realized at
work I was never like that. I was very quiet.

(27:58):
Not quiet, but very. People would say I was
icy. It's because I was just in protective mode all the time.
You know, uh, careful about what you're saying about.
Careful about how you're presenting yourself now. I don't care
if people don't like me. I just don't care. Uh, if you don't like
me, that's great, because I probably wouldn't like you. So that's
okay. And I think so many people
worry about what other people think about them. I really

(28:20):
don't.

>> Wendy Valentine (28:21):
I know. I don't either. I think that's one of the. The nice things
that do come along, I think, in midlife is, uh,
you just start to care less and less because you have time for it.
No, the energy for it.

>> Gail (28:33):
But you're so tired. You're tired of being tired of
being critiqued. You're tired of people telling you what to
do.

>> Wendy Valentine (28:39):
Yeah.

>> Gail (28:39):
And even. And I only learned this in
the last few years, is learning to say no. Why
did it take me so long to say, learn to say no.
Someone says, do you want to do this? Oh, I could do that. Oh,
maybe I could jiggle these.

>> Wendy Valentine (28:52):
Now I try to think of some excuse. Yeah.

>> Gail (28:57):
Just like, no. So now I just go, oh, no, that's not
for me. And then people go, oh, okay. And then
that's it. That's the end of the conversation.

>> Wendy Valentine (29:05):
Yeah.

>> Gail (29:05):
So I have this thing, my husband will always, if he said, you want to do this? Like,
oh, yeah, that's for me. Or I say, oh, no, that's not for me. And he was jokes
and saying, oh, you're deciding what's for you, what's not for
you? Because I just go, no, that's not for me. I'm not interested. Um,
and I think because my, uh, generation, we
were raised as people pleasers, you, you know, did what you were
told. Why did it take me so long to shake that off?

(29:25):
I just don't know.

>> Wendy Valentine (29:27):
Yeah, and the perfectionism, all of that, it's
like, yeah, I'm. I'm. I'm
perfectly imperfect.

>> Gail (29:34):
Absolutely, Absolutely. Oh, you shouldn't wear a short
skirt or shorts because you're 57. I don't
care. I wear shorts nearly every day.
Someone said, why'd you still bother wearing makeup? You know, you're too old for
makeup, aren't they? I won't never be too old for makeup.

>> Wendy Valentine (29:49):
Ah, you know,
just like, put it on today. I was like, I'm gonna put on a red lipstick.
It always makes me feel more Darren and amazing. I'm
like, not, you know, who cares?
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(30:12):
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(30:32):
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(30:54):
spot. That's bestyear
yet.net let's make
2025 the year you truly
come alive. So when you start. So when you moved
to Portugal and you started kind of just sharing your story,
did you think it would evolve into what it is now?

>> Gail (31:11):
No, no, it's. I, I have
these moments, uh, where I kind of run away from
it because it's overwhelming. So
when I first started posting, uh, it was just a bit of
fun. It was just a fun way to connect with
people. And I was growing my hair out
to Silver, uh, and I was connecting with

(31:31):
other women who were doing the same because they were connecting with me. And that's just a bit
of fun. And I had like 10 followers. Oh,
this is a bit of fun. And then overnight
it became 70,000 and I was like,
what? What? I didn't sign up for this. So then I
disappeared for a few months and then I kind of come
back and start having a little look again and, oh, yeah, yeah, some m.

(31:52):
Nice people. I'll find out what they're doing. And then it just
exploded. Um, and I still, to this day,
don't think anybody's watching or reading. I can see how many
views, you know, has been millions of views on some of my videos.
And it blows my mind because I didn't,
I didn't do it for that. It's kind of an
accidental success, I suppose, if
you can, if you consider followers as success.

(32:15):
I don't think of them as followers. I, I can, I kind of
consider people as just, oh, they're interested in the same things as me.
I hate that whole. Yeah.

>> Wendy Valentine (32:22):
What do you, what do you think it is? What do you think? I mean, besides the fact that you're
amazing. But, but what do you think that they're so. I
mean, a lot of people will live vicariously through,
through others, right? Is, what is it, do
you think about your story that they're just fascinated
with?

>> Gail (32:38):
Well, I know because I meet a lot of people and they also messaged
me and they said one, it's my energy. They literally
like how, you know, you're dancing around, you're doing this, you're cycling, you're
paddleboarding. Your what? Where are you getting your energy from?
And, uh, they said that I motivate them.
So if they see me skipping, they're like, well, she can do it.
I'm 30, so, uh, maybe I should give it a go.

(32:58):
So I know that they're, they're saying, Well, I thought 57 was
old, you know, and these are 30 year olds. There's
a lot of younger women following me and they say, um,
oh, I wish my mom would look after herself like you. And I
show your account to my mom and you know, she's
not really interested. But you know, I've started eating properly and I've
started, started skipping and I've started doing this. So

(33:19):
I know that people are, they're looking for somebody to
inspire the same way as I was looking to inspire
me. I, I mean, there's two people that I
absolutely adore is Mimi Kirk.
Mimi Kirk is a, I think
she's 80 something now. 82, I want to
say. She's 82 and she's 82 and she
walks 10 miles every day. And she's a vegan cook.

(33:41):
She's written vegan cookbooks.

>> Wendy Valentine (33:43):
Books.

>> Gail (33:43):
Well, they're not she cookbooks because she, she is raw. So they're
vegan food books because she's not cooking. But you
know what I mean? So there's Mimi Kirk.
Um, and she inspires me because I know where she can walk 10
miles a day. If she can eat only more, then so can I.
There's Jane Goodall. I think she's amazing. She's the
uh, naturalist and she's the lady with the chimps.

(34:03):
And she's um.

>> Wendy Valentine (34:05):
Oh yes, that's right. Yes.

>> Gail (34:06):
She's still doing that now. She's still touring the world now. And
I'm like, she's incredible. And then you've got, um,
Joan McDonald trained with Joan. She's, I
think she's late 70s and she's doing, you know, the
lifts and everything. And so I,
I was looking for somebody to inspire me,
but I didn't find one person who was talking about

(34:27):
food, fasting, fitness, uh,
you know, downsizing, empty
nesting, all of these, all of these
subjects. Um, and I suppose that's why I
wrote the book, because I thought, well, and the book,
I don't know whether I created it too big really, as in too many
subjects, because that's my, my head is like a box of frogs.
And I'm like, I have to tell people about fasting. I have to tell people

(34:49):
about downsizing. I have to tell people about eating plants.
I have to tell people about the blue zone diets. Because,
because there's so much that.

>> Wendy Valentine (34:56):
There's a lot. Because.

>> Gail (34:57):
Right.

>> Wendy Valentine (34:58):
I mean, in midlife there's so much going on.

>> Gail (35:01):
Yeah.

>> Wendy Valentine (35:01):
Oh, there's the menopause. You get the empty nest. You've got
career changes, relationship changes, body changes. There's,
there's so much going on between your
40s and your 50s. Whether we want,
whether we want it or not, a lot of these changes are just
happening.

>> Gail (35:16):
Mhm, absolutely. I mean, your skin changes.

>> Wendy Valentine (35:19):
Yes.

>> Gail (35:20):
You know, and there's the weight gain, of course, that, that's
inevitable I suppose because you, you
just don't need to eat so much when you get older. It's that simple.
And I, and I think people over complicate the whole
weight, um, the weight
debate of what you should do. You know, if you
don't eat too much, you don't put on weight unless you've got a

(35:40):
medical condition. Of course. You know, let's, yes, let's say you haven't got
medical condition. You're either eating too much, drinking
too much, through alcohol calories that way or you're not
moving enough. It's that simple. It's that
simple. So, um, I mean, I know
I.

>> Wendy Valentine (35:54):
Always said that too. I'm like, it's not rocket science.

>> Gail (35:57):
It, I agree with you. However, I think people
don't know how to counter calorie. People don't understand the
nutritional value of things and that's not their fault. It's
very, very difficult to understand calories and
which calories are good calories and which calories, bad calories
because you can eat, you know, 10 jelly beans and
that's a good, a good snack calorie wise or you can

(36:18):
eat an apple and that will keep you feeling fuller for
longer. So I think it's such a complex subject that
nobody, not many people take the time to learn
about. And of course you've got this constant balancing act of,
of well, how much exercise did I do today? Have I eaten enough
or have I eaten too much? Should I exercise more?
So I think that uh, it can be over

(36:38):
complicated and I think people get really, really
confused by, or what should I be doing? Should I
be running? Should I. People say to me I can't run and I can't
skip. What should I be doing? And I'm like, do whatever exercise
you really enjoy. It's that exactly.

>> Wendy Valentine (36:52):
Just like you said earlier. Just don't overthink it.

>> Gail (36:54):
Don't ever think anything. Well, I mean I chose this jump rope
skipping because where I live is really, really
hot. So I had to find something I could do
indoors. I don't want to pay for something
monthly. So I wanted something was a one off purchase,
which is a rope. And then I thought I don't need much
equipment, I need a pair of feet, you know, and
a good sports bra and a rope. That's it. That's all you need is

(37:17):
a good sports bra and a rope. That is it.
And so that's why I started with jump rope. You should do
something you love. Walking,
canoeing, cycling, yoga, ballet,
tap, whatever it is, just keep moving. Because
that's the most important thing that we can do is to, you know, maintain
our strength and our fitness. Because most of
us end up falling over, uh, and we never recover from

(37:39):
that.

>> Wendy Valentine (37:40):
Yes, exactly. Before your midlife
edits, were you that much into health and wellness
before or did that kind of come after?

>> Gail (37:50):
Yes, I was. So before, before, because
I put a lot of weight on in 2021, I
put a lot of weight on, and that was lockdown. That was the whole, you can't
exercise, you know, Prior to that, I'd been
walking, no exaggeration, six hours a day,
hiking six hours a day. I'd hike three hours in the morning, three
hours in the evening. My dogs were so happy
and so I was burning a lot of calories. I was slim,

(38:12):
I was fit. Probably upper body, not so much
because I. It was mainly hiking, but I
had a, uh, whole food plant based
every day, and I was walking every day. However, when I
was confined during lockdown, that gin and tonic
became a little bit more attractive because there was
nothing else to do in the evening. So I go back

(38:32):
for my one walk a day. And then in the evening it was like, oh,
okay, well, I'll go and watch the sunset. Uh, I'll take a gin and
tonic with me. So I was drinking
one gin and tonic. Oh, well, two gin and tonics. Okay.
So it's having two gin and tonics mix. And then,
uh, I don't think my food really changed, but I was drinking
more alcohol than I'd ever drunk before in my whole life.

(38:53):
And so. And also, I wasn't exercising as much.
And it was only when I filmed myself
because I love filming things. And I was filming this little
river setting in the north of Portugal, and I was diving into the
water with my dog.

>> Wendy Valentine (39:05):
I saw that. I saw that real. And it was like, there
you had the captions off to the side that people were like. Like
as if this was somebody else else, you know?

>> Gail (39:14):
Yeah. Oh, they were saying, oh, that's not you. That's not you
and me. And I was filming it because it was such a
beautiful, perfect setting. And then a few weeks
later, I was kind of going through my videos and
deleting and clearing them out. What? Who's
that? And, oh, that's me.
That's me. How. What. How did that happen? And,

(39:34):
um. And. But for me, it wasn't so much my weight
because I'm carrying a lot of extra weight at 32 pounds. I'm
carrying a lot of extra weight, but I just looked.
My eyes were just not sparkling because my husband always says, you've
got really sparkly eyes. The whites of your eyes are
white, that your color of your eyes is very vibrant. And I could
just see that I'd lost my sparkle. So that's
when I was like, okay, so I've got to do something. So it's like,

(39:57):
what did I do before? Why have I put this weight on? What have I
changed while I'm drinking? Okay, I got to stop drinking.
Um, how do I control. How do I
control my food without it being
micromanaging everything I eat? Okay, well, I'll do
intermittent fasting. I'll try that. So I tried
intermittent fasting and the weight just fell off.
It fell off so quickly. It really

(40:19):
surprised me. So I lost the weight, 32
pounds within about three months. I was like, my God, that's amazing.

>> Wendy Valentine (40:24):
Wow, that's awesome.

>> Gail (40:25):
It was amazing. And then I thought, well, I need to
tone this up now because there's a lot of jelly belly going
on here. So. So that's where I thought, well, I
can't. You know, the walking thing, I can't walk miles
here because it's so dry, it's so
arid. Lots of the plants are very vicious, so you'll
end up with ripped. Ripped open legs. That's no exaggeration.

(40:46):
So I was like, okay. And that's where I thought, okay, I'll try the
jump rope. And I. Day one, I thought I was going to die.
There's a video of me and I'm lying on the floor and I'm like, what am
I doing? I'm going to die. I kept going
for a month. I was like, I'm going to do a month. I'm going to do a month. And then
I've never looked back. I just love it.
It's such an incredible workout on the

(41:06):
spot indoors. It's just
amazing. I love jumping.

>> Wendy Valentine (41:10):
Right. One thing I've noticed with you within the stories
that you share is that you
became. You were conscious of where you
became unconscious, if you will. Yeah, very
like. And we all, like, we all, you know, fall off
and like, okay, we're get out of our
routine or whatever. Like, it happens. We're
human beings. Means being human, right? But then the key is, is

(41:33):
that awareness to get you back on track
to change things up. Like, okay, this isn't working. Like,
I need to try something else. I need to change my diet. I need to
get out. I need to walk more. I need to do more. I need to move
to Portugal, whatever it is.

>> Gail (41:46):
Yeah.

>> Wendy Valentine (41:47):
It's that awareness of, like, all right,
this is not working for me. Right.
Yeah. Oh,
no. I was just gonna say too.

>> Gail (41:57):
The.

>> Wendy Valentine (41:58):
The courage to change. The courage,
no matter how small the change is. No matter
if. It's. Okay. I'm gonna start. I'm gonna go buy a jump
rope. I'm gonna start jump roping. Right? I'm gonna change my
diet. I'm gonna. It doesn't have to be such
big leaps. I think sometimes people feel like they'll
watch people like you and I break these big
leaps in our life. Like, it didn't just happen

(42:20):
overnight, right? It was literally picking
up one thing in your house and going, okay, is this going in the garbage?
Am I gonna burn it in the fire? What am I doing with this? You know,
I mean, like, like it's it worthy. Uh,
this is the end, right? Not the end, but this is the
byproduct, right? They didn't see all the steps
that needed to take to get you to the other side, but

(42:41):
the other side is always very possible. It is taking those
tiny little steps that kind of equal one big
leap, if you will.

>> Gail (42:48):
But I think it's more scary to stay where you are.

>> Wendy Valentine (42:51):
Yeah, I do too. Yes.

>> Gail (42:52):
I, I, you know, people say, oh, you know, I love
routine, and routine's good for you. I hate routine. I wish
every single day of my life could be completely different. I wish I
could wake up every day in a completely different place and figure
out, okay, where. Where do I get food from? Uh, you know, what do I need to
wear? What can I do? What's that over there? That,
to me, would be my idea of heaven, which is waking up in the morning not

(43:13):
knowing where I am now. A, uh, lot of
people are, ah, so scared of change. They stay where they
are. And to me, that's more scary.
You don't like your partner, you don't like your house, you don't
like your job. You don't. You don't like your dog. Whatever it is,
you don't like it. You don't like your body, you know, but you're doing
nothing about it. To me, that's, that's more
scary than, uh, than trying something. I would

(43:36):
rather try and fail than never having tried. I
want to be the old lady with so many ridiculous
stories of all the crazy things I've done.
Yeah, when I did that, that was
crazy then.

>> Wendy Valentine (43:48):
Did you remember the one quote about sliding in
your, your Gravesite, like sideways
wine in one hand, chocolate in the other. Like,
woohoo, what a ride. Rather than okay, just,
just slowly laying down in your casket. Um,
like, yeah, like it should be filled with so
many amazing stories. So much so that, like,
I. I hope that when, when I'm on my deathbed, like,

(44:11):
there's so many things to think about that I'll
be like, oh my God, like, I want to just stay alive just so I can think about all the cool
shit that I did in life.

>> Gail (44:18):
Yeah, I know what people say to me, oh, you've got a bucket list. And I'm like, well,
no, because as soon as I think of something, I do it.
Yeah, just do it. I literally like, oh, that's. I mean,
even, uh, buying my old vintage car
because I've always had really nice luxury cars and I thought I'd like a really
nice, like, old vintage car that I don't care if someone
hits it. And uh, you know, everybody loves an old car, don't

(44:38):
they? And I was just, I'm just gonna go buy one and I just literally went out and bought one
that day. And I just think that people spend so much time
thinking about things, they.

>> Wendy Valentine (44:45):
Never do them and they talk themselves out of it.

>> Gail (44:48):
Oh, you can talk yourself out of anything. Yeah. And I'm
somebody, I'm very analytical. I'm analyzing stuff, stuff all
day, every day because I say to the person, oh, do you remember the other
day you said this? Well, I've thought about it and I've come up with five different
options. He's just like, who does that? But I do.
I'm very, I'm analyzing myself all the time.
Have I eaten the right food? Have I exercised enough today?

(45:08):
Am I taking care of my mental health? Am I remembering to
breathe? Am I remembering to breathe properly?

>> Wendy Valentine (45:13):
Am I what?

>> Gail (45:14):
Have you been grateful for something today you need to be grateful.
And then when I go to bed, I'm lying there and I think, right, I
need to think about positive thoughts about things that
I want to achieve or things I want for other
people. And I want to go to bed in a
positive, uh, mindset. So I'm
very analytical and I think it's only when I kind of
slipped and I was drinking so I couldn't be

(45:36):
analytical. That kind of things. I
mean, it was a very weird time for everybody, wasn't it? It was a very much.

>> Wendy Valentine (45:42):
It was strange. Yeah.

>> Gail (45:44):
I don't think I'm ever going to get over that whole period because it,
it was just a really bad Time for me, I
feel like it was, uh, my parents had
the war in their life and that was like a massive
event. And I can't say that Covid is the same as
a war because I've never been. However, taking away
everybody's right to even go outside

(46:04):
your door was, it was a very weird feeling.
It was a very weird feeling.

>> Wendy Valentine (46:09):
Yeah, it was very, very strange.

>> Gail (46:12):
Yeah. So for me it was the whole shift
in that time where our, uh, life as it was,
was just completely changed. So I found
that very difficult to deal with. The fact that my son was in another
country. I couldn't just hop on a plane and see him.
So for me it was kind of this major
event that I didn't deal very well with.

(46:33):
But I, like you said, I had the self awareness to
say, oh, you're drinking too much, you're not
looking after yourself and it's time to
change. I mean, there's not one good thing about alcohol. There's,
there's not one health benefit for alcohol.

>> Wendy Valentine (46:47):
Hm.

>> Gail (46:47):
But of course that's not what we're marketed, is it? But
yeah, you have a lot of self awareness. Every day
I'm analyzing what I've done, what I'm doing, what I plan to
do.

>> Wendy Valentine (46:57):
Mhm. Uh, that saying of a
comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows
there.

>> Gail (47:03):
That's so true.

>> Wendy Valentine (47:04):
Yeah. How do you feel like you've grown in just the
last few years as a woman, as a human?

>> Gail (47:10):
Oh, I think I've had a, ah, full awakening. I think
I've had a full awakening of realizing that
the creator of my life, that I can
create every opportunity, anything
that I want, I can create. And that's being,
putting everything in a positive
way, thinking positively. You know, people talk
about raising your vibration and it's true. If you,

(47:33):
if you let yourself sink into the
mindset of doom and gloom and everything's
terrible, that's, that's what will be attracted to you.
Whereas if you say like, okay, that didn't work out
for me, but maybe it didn't work out for me in that way
for, for a good reason. And I'm grateful that that
happened and I'm excited for what
will uh, be because of, because things didn't work

(47:55):
out that way. So I changed the way that I think about everything.
I don't want anybody speaking negatively around me.
Everything has to be positive. And,
and I think I've, I've, I, I've
realized that you should never stop learning and never stop
questioning everything. And, and
also another One is that I've ah, realized that you,

(48:15):
you can't, you can't change
someone else's path for them. You have to give them
the tools, give them, shine the light for them.
But if they don't see the way that you feel
they should go. You should wish them luck and wave them,
wave them goodbye and wish well.
Because I think the thing is I was somebody that

(48:36):
people, uh, pleaser. But I, I wanted the best for everyone.
I literally someone would ask me for help and I was
in, I was like, not taking over, but I was just like,
oh, you could do this and you could do that and I've done this and I've done that.
And then, um, I thought, no, you have to give
people the tools to look after themselves or open
the doors themselves, give them the keys, but

(48:56):
don't, don't guide them there.

>> Wendy Valentine (48:59):
Exactly.

>> Gail (48:59):
Yeah. So shine the light.

>> Wendy Valentine (49:01):
People will change when they want to change, if they
change.

>> Gail (49:05):
Yeah. And you can't wake anyone up to their
potential or possibilities because
they have to wake themselves up or you have, they have to
get into the, so dark, deep into the
darkness that they, they, they see
your little bit of lights and you can help them, but
you, you definitely can't help other people lead their lives.

(49:25):
You can only give them the tools so they can help
themselves. And that's something I didn't realize before.
I thought I could help everybody and solve everybody's problems, but
wouldn't that be nice?

>> Wendy Valentine (49:34):
We could just like fix everyone and
everyone's happy.

>> Gail (49:38):
Yeah, yeah.

>> Wendy Valentine (49:39):
That's also, yeah, that's part of being a people pleaser and a
perfectionist. And let me just. Yeah, I, I had
that, uh, that's taken me a while too, to
learn that lesson. My brother actually taught me that lesson. I'm like, you
can't, you can't. You can be a catalyst.
You can be a positive impact in
people's lives, which is probably why you and I do what we
do. Right. But everyone

(50:02):
out there listening or watching us, it's up
to them to actually make those changes themselves.

>> Gail (50:08):
Yeah, you can. And also you can't
give people that spark. They have to find it within
themselves.

>> Wendy Valentine (50:14):
I know. And sometimes I think what you were saying earlier is
about like, sometimes you have to go into the dark to find that light.

>> Gail (50:20):
Fight you do. I always say that the darkness is a
place to explore, but it's not a place to linger. Uh, and uh,
and I say that because when you're in the darkness and everything
seems hopeless is that you shouldn't Fight it.
It sounds weird, but you shouldn't fight it. You should just like wallow there
and say, okay, this is not great, but
I'm here. What am I gonna do? So

(50:41):
it's almost like I'm in the darkness. I can't get out.
What are little steps that I can take to at least take control
of this chaos. And I think that's where the intermittent
fasting came from because I thought the world seems out of
control at the moment. I can't control anything. But I
could control, you know, I could. Oh, I can change the way that
I eat. I can, that's something I can do. Oh,

(51:01):
I can change the way that I think about exercise. It's not
punishment, it's actually a treat. It's a treat for
my body because then I feel amazing afterwards. And
um, you know, I had the cold shower after
every jump rope session. Why would you do that? And I
said, because it's horrible. And then I know,
I know that that's the um, most horrible thing that's going to happen to me
today. I've got it over with. So, you know, have this

(51:24):
cold shower and it's hideous and it's horrible. But afterwards
you feel refreshed. So yeah,
I've, I'm a different person. I, I think the
thing is I was so busy taking care of everyone else and worried about everyone
else. I really wasn't care, taking care of myself
at all. Not at all. Not mentally, not physically.

>> Wendy Valentine (51:42):
Mhm. I love the name of the book. Midlife
Edit.

>> Gail (51:45):
Yeah. Do you know that was. I, I,
it came to me really, really quickly because I thought I feel
like I'm editing my life. I feel like I'm, I've got
this story and I'm editing it and I can actually change the
plot every day. I can change the plot
every day. And then the COVID which is a
butterfly wing, I, I really

(52:06):
felt like I'd been this caterpillar my whole life,
but not even knowing I was the caterpillar. And it was only
when I was in this darkness. It's almost like the chrysalis
of um, reinvention that
I went in there, this little caterpillar and came out
this very uh, I felt
very powerful when I, when I came out of this darkness, I just felt

(52:26):
like I could do anything. I just thought because
like you said earlier, I stopped caring about what anybody
else thinks about anything I do, anything I
say. And I can be who I want to be,
how I want to be that person. And so the
midlife edit was okay,
well, you know, learning to say no was really difficult.

(52:46):
Why was it really difficult? But I've learned to say no. That's
amazing. And then I've realized that I'm the creator
of my, you know, bringing positivity
in, and I'm the creator of my life. What do I want? If you don't know what
you want, how are you going to get there? Yeah, exactly. Something as
simple as that. And, um, I don't like to say
meditation, because a lot of people get turned off when you say
meditation, because they could. It can mean different

(53:08):
things to different people. So for me, meditation
is kind of bringing all my power back to me and saying,
right, am I comfortable? Am I happy? Am I
stressed about anything? If I'm not,
why am I. What am I stressed about? Uh, maybe it's because I have an
exercise. Maybe I haven't eaten enough. Maybe I've been
online too much. And to me, it's the whole using
your mind to, uh, draw your

(53:31):
resources back and kind of like center yourself and go,
okay, no, I'm good. I'm safe. I'm comfortable. I don't
need anything. I'm. I'm. I'm stressed because I'm, you know, my
brain's creating these problems, but I don't need to be stressed.
And it's just a moment to calm, and then. And then I
kind of create this golden force field around me, this
imaginary golden force field where nothing can hurt
me.

>> Wendy Valentine (53:52):
And.

>> Gail (53:52):
And that, to me, is meditation. It's that just
centering your thoughts on yourself.

>> Wendy Valentine (53:57):
Yeah. Just listening. Listening. Observing the
thoughts. Yeah. I used to think the meditation
was, okay, I need to stop my thoughts. And I was like, okay, this is. Is,
uh, impossible. But then. Right. It's just like
watching the ticker tape of thoughts going across your mind
and not judging them, just be like. And it's like
this. I feel like you end up becoming kind
of your own coach, your own guide through your life.

>> Gail (54:20):
Yeah.

>> Wendy Valentine (54:20):
Talking to yourself, as crazy as it might be. Right.
But asking yourself those questions, even
difficult questions, listening for the answer of how you
feel about something. And it's just kind of like this
nice internal dialogue that you have with
yourself and knowing that you
can change that, you can change that
dialogue, you can change the thoughts, you can change

(54:42):
how you feel about something. Like, it's. It's
fascinating once you realize how
much power that you have over
yourself and who you are and who you are becoming.

>> Gail (54:54):
Absolutely. And I think the thing is, we all have problems,
and human nature is if you don't have a problem. You
will find one. You will. Creative. Yeah. Uh, you know,
we're really good at that. It's like, I don't have a problem. That means I have a
problem I don't know about. So we. We're.
We're, you know, that's just our, uh, mind, isn't it? It's, like,
burning too much. So
I do this thing where I'm like, well, what are the things that. I'm kind

(55:16):
of conscious that they're, uh, not a problem, but they're
things on my mind. I kind of imagine them all in front of me,
and then I just let them fall to the floor
and I see them all. Then they fall to the floor, and then I walk over
them in my mind, and I'm like, okay, well, they're obviously
not important. They're not that important because everything fell to the floor.
Uh, and I say that if you have your health

(55:36):
and your immediate family, your friends are healthy
too, there's really not a lot to worry about. If you've
got a warm shower, a belly full of
food, nothing else matters, really.
Nothing else matters, really. And it's just those basic
creature comforts. If you've got those roof of your head, you've
got food and clean water, you can
get through anything else.

>> Wendy Valentine (55:58):
Yeah, I totally agree. Um, I love the Serenity
prayer. The. Grant me the serenity to accept the things
I cannot change, the courage to change the things that
I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
I remind myself of those times where I'm like, yeah,
I'm having a rough day. And I'm like, okay, seriously, like,
what can I change here? Even if it is just

(56:18):
changing my energy and change the vibration.
Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

>> Gail (56:22):
I think being grateful for. Even when bad things happen to you,
obviously, yeah, there are terrible things that happen to people, and
no one should be grateful for that. But, you know, when things go wrong in the day,
I just think, okay, well, I. I thank you for that. Thank
you. Because that's tested me. It's, you
know, it tested my patience or,
oh, actually, because that didn't work out, I can do this
instead. And I think some people get so caught up on

(56:45):
the things that didn't work out, they can't move on.
Whereas I'm literally somebody that goes, that didn't
work. Right next. Not even. And I don't
think about it ever again. Right next. That didn't work. Let's
try something else. Uh, and when things don't work
out, a hundred percent of the time, I
feel they work out better in the end.

>> Wendy Valentine (57:04):
Yes. Isn't that interesting?

>> Gail (57:06):
Yeah.

>> Wendy Valentine (57:07):
Just with Steve Jobs had said, you can't connect the dots
looking forward. You can only connect the dots looking backwards.

>> Gail (57:13):
Yeah.

>> Wendy Valentine (57:14):
So it's like, as you look back at your life, even like the really
shitty times in your life, it's like, oh, well, if
that hadn't happened, I wouldn't have gone to this dot and this thought
and this dot, and here I am now.

>> Gail (57:24):
Oh, absolutely. When I was working for this company
and I was sitting there listening to my
boss going on and on about something, and I was really
disagreeing with them and he.
They were. I can't explain the story, but they really wanted
me to do something. And I said, no, it's not in the customer's best interest to do
that. And they were like, well, you have to do it. And I said, but I'm not going to do
it. And having this conversation, there was like 20 people in the

(57:47):
room, and I just thought, this. This is
not going anywhere. Uh, what am I doing here? And I literally
put my coffee cup down, walked out of the
meeting, and I never went back.
I left the building and I never went back.

>> Wendy Valentine (58:02):
Because you're like,
I know.

>> Gail (58:05):
I. That's it, I'm done, I'm done.
And then my husband's like, oh, what are you doing home? I went. Went.
There's. Don't talk about it. But I'm not going back there.

>> Wendy Valentine (58:15):
Copy mug behind. I. I did.

>> Gail (58:18):
That's the thing I was annoyed about, because it was a really nice mug.

>> Wendy Valentine (58:21):
It would be funny if you walked by. You're like, I just came to get my
mug. Sorry, now I'm gone.

>> Gail (58:26):
But it was so. It was. I didn't even make a fuss. I just put
my coffee cup down and walked out there. Oh, she's gone to the bathroom. That's where
she's. He never came back.

>> Wendy Valentine (58:34):
Oh, my God, I love it.

>> Gail (58:35):
But that was their moment of. Of. This is going
nowhere. Do I want the rest of my life to be like this? No,
I don't. I'm gone. But, uh. But it's. It's having. I
don't think it's brave. I just think it's having the.
The energy to make. To deviate from
this path. That is because your path in life is growing
in front of you. It always is. And it's up to you.

(58:56):
Sliding doors. Do you get on the train? Do you not get on the
train? I always say, get on the train.
You can get off the Train again, but get on the train.
And that's the advice I give to everybody. When I don't know what to do or
I'm scared, uh, I'm just like, what's the worst that can
happen? Yeah. You know, if you're jumping out
of a plane without a parachute, I say, don't do that. But
apart from that, you know, just try it. Do it. If you don't

(59:19):
like it.

>> Wendy Valentine (59:20):
Right.

>> Gail (59:21):
Go back to what you're doing before.

>> Wendy Valentine (59:22):
Exactly. Just pivot and try something else.

>> Gail (59:25):
Yeah, absolutely.

>> Wendy Valentine (59:27):
What I love about this, I love the whole conversation, but it's
just simple wisdom. It's not
right. I mean, it's just. Just live
and. And enjoy your life.

>> Gail (59:39):
Because I think the thing is, a lot of people realize too
late, uh, the thing. And that's why I feel very blessed that
I had that moment in the darkness to kind of reevaluate my whole
life again. Uh, you know, what. What do I
want? What do I want for other people? What do I need to do to improve
myself? And on my 50th
birthday, I was seven years ago in Sicily, I met

(59:59):
this. This, um, doctor, and he was nursing
geriatric patients. And I said to him,
which patients do the best? Which patients do the
worst? What's your best bit of advice for aging?
And he said, the patients who lived by
their age, that, oh, well, I'm 80. I should be. I
should be sick. I should take tablets. I should be.

(01:00:20):
They were the ones that did the worst. Whereas the ones that were like, oh,
I don't care. 80 is just a number. He said
they were just living life to the max. And. And that
really, at that time, set me on a path of
age. Ah, means nothing. Yes. My face is changing.
My hair is changing. My body's changing. My mind isn't
changing. My mind isn't changing. My mind's still

(01:00:41):
expanding. And our minds should expand until the
day we die, really. But I think so
many people get into a rut with their
houses and their cars and their holidays and their jobs. Jobs
that they have. They need. They need people to
see how successful they are by the things that they've got.
Where anyone comes to my house, they're like, you're living in this?

(01:01:01):
And I'm like, yeah, it's great. It's just a little cottage in the
middle. In the middle of an orange grove.
It's nothing fancy. Yes, I could have a much
fancier house, but I don't need it.
Uh, and that's. That's something I'm really grateful that I learned from
him, which was, you know, don't be limited
by your age. Just. Just enjoy life every

(01:01:22):
day and then just learning to be happy with
less. You need so few things to make you
happy. So few things. Time is the
thing that will make you the happiest.

>> Wendy Valentine (01:01:33):
I love it. So good.
Where can we find you and how do we get your book? I already have
your book. But where can everybody else get your book?

>> Gail (01:01:41):
Well, I've got a website, 50sister.com.
50sister. Uh, I'm gonna have to change it to 60sister,
I guess in three years time. But 50sister.com is
my website and there's lots of jump rope information there,
jumping information. And, uh, there's a
bit about my book on there as well. You can buy it from Amazon.
Uh, there's also an audiobook which strangely has
outsold the, uh, paper version. It's. People have gone

(01:02:04):
crazy for the audio version, which is great. So, yeah,
50sister.com. Everything's on there. And I'm on
YouTube and Instagram are my two main
channels.

>> Wendy Valentine (01:02:13):
Thank you, Gail. You're awesome. I have
to see each other sometime. You come to Madeira? Uh, or I'm going
the Algarve.

>> Gail (01:02:20):
Yeah, definitely. I'd love that, Wendy. I really, really would. Thank
you so much. It's been really good, fun chatting.

>> Wendy Valentine (01:02:25):
Thank you, everyone. Have a great day.
Did this podcast inspire you? Challenge
you? Trigger you to make a change or spit out your coffee
laughing? Good. Then there are three ways you can
thank me. Number one, you can leave a written review
of this podcast on Apple iTunes. Number
two, you can take a screenshot of the episode and

(01:02:45):
share it on his social media. And tag me Wendy
Valentine. Number three, share it with
another midlifer that needs a makeover. You know who
I'm talking about. Thank you so much for listening to
the show. Get out there and be bold. Be
free.

>> Gail (01:03:01):
Be you,
sa.
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