May 13, 2025 • 45 mins
In this powerful episode of The Midlife Makeover Show, Wendy Valentine sits down with Jim Murphy, the bestselling author of Inner Excellence and a renowned performance coach to top athletes and leaders worldwide. Jim shares his journey of personal transformation, the incredible moment his book skyrocketed to the New York Times bestseller list thanks to Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver A.J. Brown, and the core principles that drive his life-changing teachings: Love, Wisdom, and Courage.
Jim and Wendy dive deep into how mental toughness and spiritual strength shape not only athletic performance but life as a whole. They explore the idea of surrender, the importance of detachment from material possessions, and how to cultivate a mindset of peace and joy, regardless of external circumstances. Jim also opens up about his personal story of financial struggle and spiritual awakening just before Inner Excellence took off, proving that true strength is forged through adversity.
What You’ll Learn:- The Three Pillars of Inner Excellence: Discover why Love, Wisdom, and Courage are at the core of living a purpose-driven, fulfilled life.
- The Power of Surrender: How letting go of control opens the door to greater strength and clarity.
- Mindset vs. Heartset: Learn why Jim believes our heart—not our mind—is the true engine of personal transformation.
- Navigating Adversity with Grace: Jim’s personal story of hardship and faith that led to his book’s explosive success.
- Applying Inner Excellence to Everyday Life: Real-life strategies for developing resilience, mastering your ego, and living with purpose and intention.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
>> Jim Murphy (00:00):
So our human nature is self centered and constant. Ah,
pursuit of comfort. So like I wrote in the book
anytime I. If I had the option, what
would I, rather have? a poke in the eye or, or a
relaxation in the hot tub? I've never chosen
the poke in the eye. It's my whole human nature
is always what's the easiest way? What's the most
(00:22):
comfortable way? Can I just have a lot of money and a lot.
And a lot of really nice things and eat wherever I want and do
whatever I want and just that, that sort of freedom, that's not
really freedom. Freedom is to be
really connected deeply to a mission
and a vision that changes the world.
>> Wendy Valentine (00:39):
Hey there, beautiful. I'm Wendy Valentine, your host
of the Midlife Makeover show, where it's never too
late to wake up to your best life. Whether you're
navigating a career change, empty nesting,
menopause, or wondering what's next, you're in
the right place. Every week I'll bring you real
talk, laughs and inspiring conversations
(01:00):
with expert and extraordinary women who have
transformed their lives from self care and
relationships to starting over and finding freedom.
This is your time to reinvent,
rediscover and reignite the woman you were
always meant to be. So hit that subscribe
button and let's rewrite the rules of midlife.
Your new adventure starts now.
>> Jim Murphy (01:26):
Foreign.
>> Wendy Valentine (01:34):
Ways I overcame divorce, disease and
depression was by changing my mind.
Literally changing my thoughts
changed my life. That's why I created the
Freedom Meditations. So you too
can change your life. If you're feeling
stuck in your thoughts, overwhelmed by life's
challenges, unsure of the next chapter, or
(01:56):
disconnected from your true self, the
Freedom Meditations are for you.
These meditations, rooted in my
exclusive Freedom Framework, are designed to
help you achieve inner peace, empowerment
and clarity. And the best part,
each meditation is only 15 minutes.
Just 15 minutes a day to change your life.
(02:19):
The Freedom Meditations are available now for
an introductory price of just $29.
Head to freedommeditations.com
to grab your session and start your transformation.
Welcome back to the Midlife Makeover Show. I'm your
host, Wendy Valentine. And today I am
absolutely thrilled to introduce you to
(02:40):
a powerhouse and the world of peak performance
and personal transformation. Jim
Murphy. J. Jim is the number
one New York Times bestselling author
and performance coach to some of the
world's greatest athletes and
leaders. Just like me. His groundbreaking
book, Inner Excellence has transformed the way
(03:03):
athletes approach mental toughness,
mindset and living a life of purpose.
Just recently, this is so cool. His book
made headlines when it was spotted in the hands
of 15 Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver
A.J. brown during the playoffs,
sparking a phenomenon that shot it to
the number one spot on the New York Times bestseller list.
(03:27):
Now, with over 200,000 copies sold
and counting, inner excellence is spreading like
wildfire. And for good reason. Today
we're diving deep into Jim's life changing
principles of love, wisdom and
courage. The mindset shifts that separate good
from great and how inner excellence is helping people
live an extraordinary life. Whether you're
(03:49):
on the field, in the boardroom, or
navigating midlife transitions. So
get ready to take notes because this is going to be
packed with game changing, pun intended insights.
Please welcome Jim Murphy to the show.
>> Jim Murphy (04:04):
Thanks, Wendy.
>> Wendy Valentine (04:05):
You're welcome. That's it. We're done. No, just kidding.
It was just the intro. The intro was so good, you know,
that was powerful. Yeah. Welcome. It
is, it's an honor to have you here. And,
Okay, we have to. I'm sure you've been asked this question before,
A.J. brown. Where were you? How
did you find out? And most importantly, Jim,
(04:27):
how did you feel?
>> Jim Murphy (04:29):
Yes, let me tell you, Wendy. So I'm in downtown Dallas,
Texas on Sunday, January 12th.
And it was actually a very somber time in my life.
Business, was slow. Actually didn't pay off my credit cards
in January, first time in years. And, I
don't often check my checking account, so I didn't know how much was in
there. But I'll. But that'll, that'll come into play here in a
(04:51):
minute. I had just written a book called the Best Possible Life.
How to Live with Deep Contentment, Joy and Confidence, no Matter what, A book
about the spiritual life. So that had just come out in
November. And so now we're into January of this year,
2025. And,
I'm walking around empty downtown Dallas and my mom actually was
dying. She died four days later. And so it was a very
somber time. Kind of lonely. Life is slow,
(05:13):
Business slow, Mom dying. And,
yeah. And so, I look up at the skyscraper and I
think, the question comes into my mind, would you rather
own that skyscraper straight out or all the hundreds of
millions of dollars it's worth? Or would you have rather
understood everything that you learned from writing the best
possible life? A life about the spiritual life. A book
(05:33):
about the spiritual life. And I thought, no, I
wouldn't trade it for hundreds of millions of dollars. And so
I thought, well, you know, at least you got that.
That's that's nice. And then a
couple hours later, AJ Brown does his thing and
my life changes. What. What's
interesting about the, the financial part was
(05:54):
a few days later, I'm going to the. I fly into
Philadelphia and I'm on the street, and this guy asked me for
money, and I had no money in my wallet. So I go to the ATM to get some
money, and I try to get up 300 and the ATM says
insufficient funds. And so then I try 200
and it says insufficient funds. I try 100 and
then I get the money. I find the guy, I give him some money.
(06:15):
A few days later, my mortgage payment bounces and my
checking account goes overdrawn. So that was
the week of January 12th. And you know what else happened
that week? We sold about 100,000 books. And
so it was a, ah, crazy dynamic.
>> Wendy Valentine (06:30):
You know. Thank you for sharing that. And I'm so sorry
about your mom.
>> Jim Murphy (06:35):
thank you.
>> Wendy Valentine (06:35):
She's proud of you. I know it.
>> Jim Murphy (06:37):
Thank you. My mom had such a big impact on
me. You know, she. Her family, samurai lineage,
and she's full Japanese. And, her
immense spiritual strength, her gratitude
was just so phenomenal and such a huge
impact on my life.
>> Wendy Valentine (06:55):
So. I don't know if you've heard this quote from Steve
Jobs. You can't connect the dots looking
forward. You can only connect them looking backwards.
And that's one of those. This is one of
the. Like, I'm sure you're still like, ah, just like, you're like you're in a
dream, which we all are really.
but you're looking back at that pivotal
(07:15):
dot that happened.
And I believe that everything happens for a reason. And perfect time,
the good, the bad, the happy, the sad. Right?
I think that is so incredible. And I. And I
love that.
And it's not that A.J. brown isn't, like,
totally awesome and totally cool and, obviously a
(07:35):
pivotal moment right there, but it's you that
made the book the success,
right? It just happened to be that catalyst moment
that just truly launched it,
but it was right when it needed to
be. Have you thought about that? Like, if the book had
hit, like, years ago, how different.
>> Jim Murphy (07:58):
Yeah, I totally thought about that. Many, many
times. All the miracles that have happened, there's no way I could
have orchestrated the timing of everything. like for
eight, for example, AJ Brown playing for the Philadelphia
Eagles, that. That city is where
my hero, I, call him my hero, Shane
Claiborne, he moved there 25 years ago
(08:18):
into one of the neediest parts of the city,
Kensington, where the high school dropout dropout
rate is over 40%. And so he's been
there doing this amazing work for people that really need it. And I'm
going to work with him. Just so happens that they're
in the same city. And so this whole thing being embraced
by people from Philadelphia so immensely is
such an incredible gift because I'm going to go there and we're going to
(08:41):
do some great things together with Shane.
>> Wendy Valentine (08:43):
That is so cool.
So, before we hit record, I told you I had, like,
so many things to share with you, in regards to
your book. So right before I left
Madeira, Portugal, I lived there part of the
time. And then I keep the RV here in the States and
storage. Right. So, I had
gotten an email, I believe, from your
(09:04):
publisher wanting to have you on the show. And I was like,
jim Murphy, who's this Jim Murphy? You know, I'm like, looking it
up. And I was. I was
so captivated by the book, the
idea of the book and what it was all about. And I was like, no
joke. I was looking for a book. I
always listen to a book on audio when I'm driving
the rv and I could not find a book
(09:27):
I really wanted to listen to. And I was like, oh, this is
perfect. I'll listen to his book. Right?
It was so wild that
every single thing. And it has this.
The last few weeks for me have just been
insane. but okay, it's. It's totally
okay. But every single thing, every
chapter that just happened to address
(09:50):
whatever it was that I was going through in
that moment.
And I will start with this is wild.
so I'm driving in South Dakota
down the highway, got the rv and I.
The, rv. His name is Felicia, by the way. Like,
and then, I have this little towable called Fiona the
Fiat. And I tow her behind me.
(10:13):
And, it was dark and raining. It was in the morning.
And I mean, I've been towing for like a couple years.
So I was like, you know, very familiar with it. Right.
I couldn't see the. Behind me. The camera was
dirty, so I couldn't see the car.
And, so I'm driving down the highway and,
people are like, waving. And I'm like, oh, they're just
(10:33):
so friendly here in South Dakota. I'm like, hi.
You know, And I was like, oh, I think they're trying to tell
me to pull over. Like something's wrong.
I pull over,
no shit. My car is on fire.
On fire. So
my first thought is, I'm like, I've got to get this car
(10:55):
unhooked from the RV before the
RV catches on fire.
And these two angels, just
two guys in a pickup truck, happen to pull
over with me with one of them jumps out with the
little fire extinguisher, and one of
them's trying to just get the fire down
enough so that we can detach
(11:17):
the car from the rv. So we're
working as fast as we possibly can. I mean, it was
so crazy. In the same time, talking to nine
one one, I'm like, oh, my God, the car's on fire. You
know? So anyways, we get the car unhooked, and I'm like.
And I had to drive the RV down the highway to get
it away from the burning vehicle. I mean, this sucker
(11:39):
is like a burnt marshmallow now.
Point is, not. Besides just, like, the regular
traumatic experience of this car going up into flames.
After I settled down and I continued on with
my road trip that day, I was like, I
need to listen to Jim
Jimmy something good. And you
(12:01):
were talking about material
possessions and stuff and
how. And. And I've shared with you already. Like,
I got rid of everything. Everything I have is
inside this little box on wheels.
And it was. I. I, did even have. In
the back of Fiona in the. In the back seat, I had
my suitcases, and it was filled with, dresses for all
(12:24):
my podcast interviews that, you know, from, for the book.
And I was like, oh, my God, all of that's torched.
Everything's gone. You know, and it was just like, your
words were like this reminder of,
it's okay. Like, everything
is okay. Like, you. You. I'm healthy. And I
was like, I just went into this nice
(12:45):
feeling of gratitude, of just, like, I'm
alive. It's. Everything's okay. Nobody was
harmed. It could have been way
worse. And, So, yeah, you never
know the impact that you can
have on people. Even just those, like,
two words of, like, right at the right time. So thank
(13:05):
you.
>> Jim Murphy (13:06):
That's amazing. Thank you for sharing that.
You know, it reminds me, I just had this conversation with an executive
who's facing this situation, maybe the toughest
he's ever faced. He possibly could lose,
his huge house, his. All his
money, everything. Could lose it all potentially. And
so, we were having this conversation, and I said,
just remember, as you go forward, the number one thing
(13:29):
that you have is. And, And that you could
do, because we. He talked about, I just really got to be productive and I said
the number one thing, the most productive thing that you could possibly do
is to become a certain type of person.
And so it doesn't matter how many followers you
have, how many millions of dollars you have, or lack
of followers or money you have. The number one thing is who
(13:49):
you're becoming. And, Because who you're becoming is where you. What you take
with you everywhere you go. And if you have inner
peace and inner strength inside you, then you go
out into the world and strength. But if you've got, anxiety
and fear and. And, envy inside of
you, then you go out into the world in weakness, no matter how many
millions of dollars you have.
>> Wendy Valentine (14:08):
Yeah. Yeah. It's,
it's. It's detachment. It's surrender. I think
sometimes we. We think of surrender as a sign of
weakness, but it's actually strength when you're waving
that white flag and it's like
you're. You're not. It's like being in the world but not of it. Right.
Being in the game, but not of it.
(14:30):
Yeah. Being in a relationship, but not of, it being, in
a traumatic experience of your car going up in
flames. You know, like, you almost have to
just like what? I like being an
observer in moments like that. And your most
critical moments of just kind of like
zooming out. I kind of like the zoom out approach. You know, like if you were like
(14:50):
a drone, you know, you kind of like get inside that little
drone and you zoom out and you're just like watching and
observing so that you're. Because
we. I mean, it's only natural, I think, as human
beings. We're human beings being human. Right. Like,
we are. We are emotional creatures. It's only
natural to get emotionally caught up in
stuff. But if you get, as, you know, if you get so
(15:12):
emotionally attached to it, you can't even. I think you talked about
that too. I can't remember what you had said about that, but it's almost
like you can't. You can't think
your way through it or think logically because you're
so. So overwhelmed
emotionally with something, no matter what it is.
>> Jim Murphy (15:30):
Can I share a story with you about surrender? Yes.
>> Wendy Valentine (15:32):
Yeah.
>> Jim Murphy (15:32):
Well, if we, if we think about surrender, there's a few
things that are so important to think about. Is. One is.
Is, Alcoholics Anonymous. I mean, they've changed millions
and millions of lives and that. And the basis is. Is
to surrender to our power greater than yourself. And I think
everybody really knows that there is a power
greater than Ourselves, whatever that power is
(15:53):
that that holds the stars in place and grows the
grass, that power is, something that we can
all connect to. And
if you imagine I was at a,
Ryder cup and top 10 golfer in the world asked me,
jim, I'm too attached to my results and
circumstances that's causing this anxiety and
(16:14):
fear and frustration. And he
said, what can I do? And I said, well, imagine there's a kid
that loves lollipops. And, is there a
way that you could easily take that lollipop from
him where he hands it over very easily
with no struggle? And, he
said, well, how could I do that? And they said, well, you just trade him a bigger
(16:34):
lollipop. And so do you think what
kid wouldn't surrender their little lollipop
for a bigger one? And this is the essence of inner
excellence. We're surrendering our little strength
for greater strength.
We're surrendering our limited vision for greater
vision.
>> Wendy Valentine (16:50):
Yeah. And it's sweeter, no pun
intended.
>> Jim Murphy (16:53):
Our little truth or capital T? Truth.
>> Wendy Valentine (16:56):
Yeah, yeah. And litters your little
self or your higher self. Right. I mean, I
think before, you know, for me, like before I, took
off in this wild journey, you know,
years ago, selling everything, bought the rv, started the
podcast, started writing my book, blah, blah, blah,
the greatest, greatest thing
(17:17):
that I had to do and the greatest gift I
gave to myself was literally
just getting out of my own way.
I was the one standing in my own way.
I'm like, it would be great to blame
everybody. The economy,
politics, your mother, your father,
(17:38):
your husband, all of that stuff. Stuff. But
it's really you. I mean, it is.
I had to have that kind of like,
moment where I was like, girl, you can't
blame anybody but yourself. And it's not really blame or
shame. It's just like, give yourself the
gift of, just enjoying your life the way
that you, your spirit would want to live.
(18:02):
Because the rest.
>> Jim Murphy (18:02):
The question is. Yeah, the question is,
are you willing to let go of your past? Are you
willing to let go of who you've been? To become
who you can become?
>> Wendy Valentine (18:12):
Yep. And that's really, that's. That
is, that is such a good question. Because
that is a very tricky thing for people
because, it's just like, I love
quotes, obviously. Marianne Williamson. Our
deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that
we're powerful beyond measure. It is our light,
(18:33):
not our darkness, that most frightens us.
And I remember years ago reading that
and thinking, what if and this is a
question for all of us. What if you
stepped into your light
fully because
you might have to leave a job, you
(18:53):
might have to leave a relationship, you might
have to just even like with what I was
listening to today in your book. And
sometimes it's, it's, it's,
it's challenging to actually reach
that inner excellence. It is, it's not like
just handed to you on a silver platter. Wouldn't that be great?
(19:14):
Like you have to put the work in, you have
to like it's. Yeah.
>> Jim Murphy (19:19):
So our human nature is self centered and constant,
pursuit of comfort. So like I wrote in the book,
anytime I, if I had the option, what would
I rather have? a poke in the eye or, or a
relaxation, in the hot tub. I've never chosen the
poke in the eye. It's my whole human nature
is always what's the easiest way, what's the most
(19:41):
comfortable way. Can I just have a lot of money and a lot,
and a lot of really nice things and eat wherever I want and do
whatever I want and just that sort of freedom, that's not
really freedom. Freedom is to, is to be
really connected deeply to a
mission and a vision that changes the world.
>> Wendy Valentine (20:00):
Plus two. Yeah, I like that. Plus you. I
feel like you really appreciate more now. For example, like
you told the story about going to the ATM machine and then
you sold a hundred thousand copies, right?
It's the dichotomy of life, right? You
wouldn't know, you wouldn't know light if you
didn't know dark. You wouldn't know joy if you didn't know
(20:20):
sadness. And so now it's like experiencing
both, it's like, oh, like you really
appreciate it more of just that
and knowing that no matter
where you are at in your life, no matter your, you're not your
circumstances, you can still have that peace
and that love and wisdom and courage, right?
With despite what's going on around you.
(20:43):
Because I mean especially here, you know,
m majority of the people here I would think are at
midlife. They're going to have parents unfortunately that
are passing away. They're going to have, there's,
there's going to be lots of tragedies that that
happen. And I think the key is,
is like how, how do you go through
(21:03):
all of that and still have
your peace?
>> Jim Murphy (21:07):
So you mentioned that the dichotomy of life.
So that's a very important concept to understand
most people because like I said, human nature is the self
centered pursuit of comfort and
most people, ah, constantly
avoid, like, like me, constantly avoid
discomfort and always pursuing comfort. But what I
(21:29):
found is that the best possible life, a life
of deep contentment, joy and confidence, no matter what. A
life filled with love, joy, peace,
patience, kindness and goodness and
faithfulness and gentleness and
especially self control. That life
has one foot in joy, one foot in suffering.
>> Wendy Valentine (21:49):
Yeah, that's true. Yeah.
And, and again, I think that's just part of being human. It's
just part of the human experience. Right? It's. You
can't avoid tough times.
It's going to happen.
Right, so love, wisdom,
courage. Is that right? Those are the three. Three. How did
you come up with those?
>> Jim Murphy (22:10):
You know, it's amazing. When I'm in the five years full time
writing and researching for inner excellence,
it kind of came down to those three I felt were the most
powerful resources in the universe. And then I'm
doing more research, reading about the Samurai, my mom's
lineage. And then I read about the code of the
samurai, the Bushido code. And it
says it's based on three principles. Love,
(22:32):
wisdom and courage. And I was like, oh my gosh,
those are the three I chose. And I'm Japanese and that's my
weird. I come from that lineage. And I was like,
oh my gosh, this was not random.
So, you know, and I don't know,
like I don't remember exactly what led to
those three, but I do know that
(22:54):
love is What happened was I
realized that your heart is the key to your life, your spirit, your
will. That was one of the biggest things that I learned in the desert, is that
if you want to live an extraordinary life, training your heart,
the deepest part of you, your spirit and your will, is the most
important thing that you'll ever do. And it's
that willingness to surrender to a power greater than yourself.
(23:16):
And so, realizing that what I
think that I want most as far as if I could have
any feeling or anything in the world, I want anything that
I ever want in the world, it's because I want joy.
M and I define joy as a deep sense of well
being, freedom and gratitude, independent of
circumstance. An inner buoyancy that, that
(23:36):
keeps you, connected to the
realities of heaven. Whereas happiness is a
temporary positive feeling based on what's happening.
And so, because joy is such a
amazing, thing and joy comes from love. And
so, and love, there's no fear in love.
The greatest challenge we have in performance and in life is
(23:57):
getting in our own way. Like you said our self centeredness and that
leads to fear. And
if you want to be fearless, then you're selfless. And the way to be selfless
is through love.
>> Wendy Valentine (24:07):
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esteem, greater confidence, less burnout,
(24:29):
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(24:51):
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Did you ever read any of David Hawkins books?
He, he talks about like, yeah. Do
you remember him talking about the different levels of
frequencies of emotions?
(25:13):
I think, I believe gratitude is number
one, like the highest form. And then there's joy.
I mean they pretty much go hand in.
>> Jim Murphy (25:21):
That's a great, great book. you know, when I think of gratitude,
it's, it's part one of our four daily goals. The other three
are to be present to give the best of what you got each day
and, and to focus on your routines and only what you can control.
Gratitude is so huge. I always think of it as connected,
kind of a five part entity. Gratitude
connected to, directly to inner strength, inner peace, which
(25:42):
is connected to inner strength. It's connected to mental
toughness and they're all connected to beauty. And
so gratitude is kind of the key
point. That hinge there.
>> Wendy Valentine (25:53):
Yeah.
You know, it's interesting. I feel like
it's so easy for all of us. Like we can, we can listen to
podcasts, we can read books, we can do all
the things. You're absorbing this knowledge,
but really that's in. The second element is
wisdom. It's, it's when you're able to
apply this knowledge in your life,
(26:15):
when it's a part of you. It's, it's like
it becomes a knowingness I guess.
Right. And you don't really know, you don't really know.
Became a knowingness until
way after the fact. Right. Like I'm going
to share one more. A second experience that I had. I can't
give too many details, but I had
(26:37):
a moment with, with someone that
was really, really
criticizing me. to the point just like,
I mean, just like a bully. And it was one of those
moments again, kind of like I had like this like out of body
experience where I was just like, I'm like I
was there, I was hearing everything, but I was like,
(26:57):
hm, what do I do with this? You know, I was like tapping
in. And
again, like your words came at the perfect time
because then it was shortly after. That's when it was the.
What, is it the self mastery is mastering ego. The
unembarrassable, unoffendable and
unirritatable. Yeah, I was all
three and then some. you know, but
(27:19):
here's the thing. Like as we were all
learning to be better people better.
You know, everything in life that
give yourself grace. Like, even
when you're going through something that's horrific and
you're like, damn, I really didn't do too great with all
that, you know. But you learn from it.
(27:41):
And I feel like I don't,
I don't, I don't stay down for too long.
Like I bounce back quicker. And that
even that is something to pat yourself on the back for.
Like, okay, cool, cool. I'm not like, I could have
gone into a massive depression for, you know, two weeks,
but I was like, I give it a day or two and I'm like,
(28:01):
okay, I'm good to go. You know, like,
I think it's just really learning more
about who you are, what you love,
what brings you that joy and
just continuing. It's. I mean, we're just like. We're like our
own little guinea pigs in life.
>> Jim Murphy (28:19):
I got a little story for you, Wendy.
>> Wendy Valentine (28:21):
Oh, good.
>> Jim Murphy (28:23):
So,
the other day I was. I was, meeting m
someone and I drove an hour to meet them and
I think they might have forgotten about me. And I was, I was
pretty busy and I was in another state and I had a bunch of people that,
that wanted to get together, but I chose this one person,
drove an hour to meet them and I think they kind of forgot about me. And so
(28:45):
then they, they, We were going to meet for lunch and they said, let's meet for dinner
instead. And so I remember thinking, I'm not going to eat for
dinner. I. You know, you had your chance. And then,
and then, I started thinking about, okay, what am I going to do instead?
And then I thought, wait a second. Is there any part of you that
took that personal? Like, is your
ego involved here? Because we always want to know. Because
(29:06):
the ego is a part of me that's. That's always comparing, always
threatened, never satisfied, always empty,
over inflated or under inflated. And I don't want to be mastered by
my ego. I want to master the ego, not be mastered by it. And so
I always want to understand, is this my ego? And so I asked
myself, is there any part of you that took that personal? And
I said, probably. And
(29:27):
so, yes, I did. And then I say,
okay, so what if you were not to take it personal
whatsoever, completely free to make any decision
you wanted, including go to dinner with. With this person?
And, I thought,
I think I would stay in town, this part of town that I drove
to, and I would go to dinner with them.
(29:48):
And so I did, and it was a great dinner, and they
were happy that I was there, and it was. It was wonderful.
And then the next morning, in that same town where I spent the night, because I
decided this day, I went to go find a coffee
shop to have a, weekly meeting with a spiritual mentor.
So I went to the coffee shop to do our zoom call. And I'm driving in
this coffee shop, this area, looking for it, and I'm like, man, ah, this
(30:09):
place looks familiar. And then I was like,
oh, I know what this is. This is where one of my clients
lives. So I texted this client, this client who
was. Who was actually world number one. and, I said,
hey, how's it going? Just, just in this neck
of the woods, just want to say hello. And then the client's like, oh, my gosh,
it's so great to hear from you. We went for brunch the
(30:29):
next day and had this great day. And, that would not have
happened had I not stopped and said, yeah,
am I taking this personal? Because I would have went to some other part of the state.
Uh-huh.
>> Wendy Valentine (30:39):
Goes to show, everything happens for a reason, too.
>> Jim Murphy (30:42):
Well, another big part of that is to. So how do we not
take things personal? The key here is inter
excellence principle number two. And it is
everyone always does the best they can with what they have in their
heart. And so anyone
that does anything that's rude or
unhelpful or mean or terrible,
(31:02):
it doesn't mean, like, if someone does something that's horrific, it doesn't
mean that they shouldn't pay the consequences. I'm not talking about what should happen
to that person. I'm talking about, what caused
their behavior is. Well,
or at least here's how you can think about it. No one ever
hurts anyone on Purpose. If they're filled with love, joy and peace,
never would happen. It's only by accident. And
(31:23):
so if someone does something that is mean or hurtful or rude
or whatever, it's because they're lacking these resources.
And so if anyone ever says anything that's not
helpful or is rude, then. And if
you remember this principle that they're doing the best they can with
what they have in their heart. In other words, with their
childhood, with their wounds, their fears,
(31:44):
their beliefs, their lens through seeing the world,
they did the best they could with what they had. And not
only that, you would have said or done the
exact same thing they said or did if you
had their heart.
>> Wendy Valentine (31:57):
Yes, it's true. Right, Right. Yeah.
>> Jim Murphy (31:59):
so this stops us from judging, which allows us to stay in that
flow of resonance where we're at our best. Because when we
judge, we lose curiosity, we lose our vision, we
lose pretty much everything when we judge others. It creates
this negative energy within us.
>> Wendy Valentine (32:14):
How do you find that happy medium of
boundaries and that detachment
and that understanding?
>> Jim Murphy (32:22):
Yeah, it's a great question.
Well, unconditional love, it's
fearless, right? It's the most powerful force in the universe. It also has
strict boundaries. For example, Little Boaz, my 6 year
old nephew, if he, he wants to eat, say, a pound
of chocolate or wants to go play in the highway,
my answer would be no. Not even if he asked 10
times, or 100 times, or a thousand times. Right. Because unconditional
(32:45):
love has strict boundaries. Very
strict. Right. You don't, you don't give someone, what
they want necessarily. You hope what they want
is what's best for them. Because if,
if what they want is not what's best for them, and you know what's best for
them, then you're going to give them what's best for them if you love them. Right?
So this is, this is how unconditional love works. And it's a great question
(33:05):
to ask for any situation is how can I love
this person the best? Sometimes it means
creating a boundary, other times it means sending
them a book or, or, giving them a hug or
whatever it is that's such a good.
>> Wendy Valentine (33:19):
What did you say? What is the best way I can love this person?
Yeah, I love that. it's interesting, I
was thinking about this the other day. The love, wisdom, and courage.
It's interesting. They're not tangible. They're not tangible
things. You know what I mean? Like, I couldn't
hand you a jar of love. I Can't hand you a jar of
wisdom or a jar of courage. This stuff
(33:41):
is created within us that we create,
that we, that we choose
actually to nurture.
>> Jim Murphy (33:50):
The way I think about it is we're created a certain way.
And if you don't understand how you're created or what
you're created for, you're going to be constantly pursuing it,
looking for it everywhere you can. And most people spend their entire
lives pursuing this, this piece
inside them by getting symbols of success.
Because those symbols, if I get these symbols, money or
(34:11):
status or followers, then people are going to give me some
sort of love in return. Right? And, but it's
always a false, A, temporary love just based on what I gave them.
And so I gave them a great performance and I won the
Masters. So I'm going to get this love, or I gave them a
great concert, or I gave them some money, or I bought them a meal,
then I'm going to get something in return. And so this, this
(34:31):
is the false love that most people have pursued because they don't know how
to get any, other kind of love. So.
But it's so important to understand that, that we are
created for relationship, yeah, with God,
self, others, our work, the
environment, and, wisdom. The way I define
wisdom is to know who God is, the creator of the universe, and
(34:52):
therefore who you are, what he's doing in the world, and how you can join
in. Because if you don't have wisdom,
wisdom is really an understanding of eternal truths. Capital
T truths. Because it's true. Like this is,
this is a, you're in an, rv and I'm in a hotel room and
I'm sitting on a chair. These are all true things, but they're not
eternal things. The what, what happens is people,
(35:12):
they, they grab onto and worship things that are
not lasting. Like for me, I, my God
for most of my life was being a superstar and this was
very, very, unstable.
And so what interaction says, hey, let's,
you're, you're worshiping something, you have faith in something.
Let's put it in something that's powerful and stable.
>> Wendy Valentine (35:34):
Well, and as we know, it's like we come into this world with nothing,
we'll leave with nothing. Right? And
I mean, here's a little science for everyone.
An atom is
99.9999 energy,
which leaves only 0.00001%
matter. So why does it matter? We are more
energy than matter. Like the chair you're sitting
(35:57):
on, the dinette that I'M sitting on. It's all
energy. Like with our human eye, it looks like
physical, very important physical matter,
you know, but it's all energy
and we are energy. And like we're just kind of
swimming in this little soup bowl
together. And there's really, like, if you break
(36:17):
it down that way into, into that energy,
it's. It's way more important and way
more powerful than the labels that we
attach to that.0001% of
matter, including titles, including
Ph.D. or Maryland or
author or athlete. You know what I mean? Like,
(36:38):
it's, it's so much more powerful
that. Than that. And I think when you can tap into
that energy and just swim with it
and dance with the universe, it's so
much more enjoyable. And it's so not.
So it doesn't. You don't feel that pressure that you do.
>> Jim Murphy (36:57):
So I always tell my professional athletes and Olympic athletes that the
number one most important thing every day is your
energy. It's your heart. Guard your heart. Because that's where
everything you think, say and do flows from it. When I say guard your heart,
I mean be very intentional about what
you look at, what you watch, read, who you spend time
with, because your overall
(37:17):
energy is going to be the most
important factor that impacts your day.
And so there is an energy that grows the grass and
spins the earth and holds the stars in place that you can connect
to every day. And the farther you are from that, the more fear you
have, the closer you get to that, the more love and fearless you are.
And so we as humans, we get so caught
(37:38):
up in the temporary, superficial, oh, I just missed
that pot. Or I don't, oh, I just made a mistake. Or oh,
I just lost this or lost that. And we just ride these
emotional roller coasters based on our circumstances
and results, when these are all very temporary,
superficial things. And what's far more important than
whatever you think the problem is that you're facing right now is,
is the energy you have and who you're becoming based on that
(38:01):
energy.
>> Wendy Valentine (38:02):
Yeah, yeah, I know. I was like, when I. When
I shared that moment with you when I was
being criticized horribly by
someone, and I remember thinking, like,
I. I can choose my energy, how I
receive this, whether I hold on
to it, you know, like, make it personal.
(38:22):
But we all have that choice of the
energy that we receive in the energy that we put
out there, the love and, and if
someone's bringing you down or something,
then. Then do something about it, right? Because,
I mean, I'm like an energy snob now
in a good way. You know, like to me that's self
(38:44):
care. Like I'm, I, I'm going to
protect this heart. Not so much. Not
like protecting as as in putting up walls
so that nothing can go in or out. But as
in I want
to be able to give and love give,
give and receive love freely.
(39:04):
And if there is energy,
horrible toxic energy that is weighing
that down, then that makes it more challenging for
me to be able to do what I do right on a
daily basis.
>> Jim Murphy (39:17):
So what someone says about you, it says much more about
them than it does about you. When someone's, what someone
says about you is based on their, the vision
that they have of the, the world and they
have them themselves. And so we're all
created in God's image.
And so how I treat you is based on how I
see what I believe about myself, about God, about the
(39:38):
universe, about all of us. Like are we all connected? Are we not?
Am I in self protection or this, this creative self
expression that's egoless. Because
when I interact with somebody
and someone's interacting with me, the
energy that we exchange is based on what
we see as possible. What the,
(39:59):
the the expansion, expansion
or expansiveness of our vision. For
example, the more connected someone
is, the more they're going to see what's possible for the person they're
talking to. The less connected they are, the more
isolated they are, the lower, the smaller their
vision and the less they're going to see the possibilities for that
person. So that's why it's so crucial to
(40:21):
understand that when someone says something about you,
says so much about that person, much more than
it says about you. I mean none of it may be true or not, but it really tells a lot
about the person.
>> Wendy Valentine (40:31):
Yeah, funny, I was also thinking too when I
had so many great thoughts when I was listening to your book.
but my, we always say mindset, but it's
really heart set.
>> Jim Murphy (40:43):
Yes, exactly. Yeah, your mind. We use the mind to train the
heart because what's in your heart is where everything you
think saying do comes from. And when you're squeezed, what's in your heart,
when you're under pressure, what's in your heart is going to come out. Just like you squeeze
an orange that's not going to get apple juice, we're going to get
orange juice because whatever's inside is going to come out. And that's what
happens when we're squeezed. We have this a lot of times we have false
(41:03):
peace if we have really good circumstances or results and we're happy. Right.
This temporary positive feeling. But take away all
of your possessions and all of your achievements and status and then
are you still happy? Like, you're not going to be happy, but can you have peace?
Can you have joy? And then, you know, that's a real,
real test.
>> Wendy Valentine (41:19):
Yeah. I mean, inner, Inner excellence
really is outer excellence. It is. The
outer excellence is a result of that.
Because if you, if you're happy here in your
heart and in your mind and in your
body and in your spirit, the
world is just different to you. I
(41:39):
mean, I don't know about, like, how different your life has
changed. Just what's going on around you.
Dependent on how you feel on the inside.
>> Jim Murphy (41:49):
Yeah. I mean, my life changed a lot in January 12th. And,
I think my life, my whole life has been training
for this moment. And that same thing for you, you know, when your
car caught on fire, this was training for you. And
it wasn't like you said, it wasn't just a random, terrible thing, but
it's training for you. And so it's so important
to understand that everything that we go through is training
(42:12):
for us, for our future.
>> Wendy Valentine (42:14):
Yeah. And, and how you can even grow from that,
whatever it is that you're going through.
You know, it's like I, I feel like any, anything
that hap. No matter how small or how big,
I'll take that moment and go, okay, what can I learn?
What do I got here? Like, there's something here. I
just know it. And sometimes, sometimes you don't always get the
(42:35):
lesson right away. It, might come to you later on,
or you might realize you might come into another
state, similar situation where you realized you handle
that situation way better than the time before.
And then you're like, oh, damn, I did grow from that.
You know, I love it. I could talk about
this stuff all day.
(42:56):
All right, so where can we find you? Where does everyone
get your book? You already know I got it.
>> Jim Murphy (43:02):
Yeah. So I have a website, inner excellence.com, where you can sign up
for the VIP newsletter and follow all the workshops and
where I'll be and, what we got going next. Any
retreats? and then, Inter Excellence
is in most bookstores that sell English level
English language books. And then I'm also on Instagram, Inter Excellence,
Jim Murphy, and most other social media.
>> Wendy Valentine (43:22):
I've enjoyed watching all your interviews and
doing all the, you know, book signings. That's so
cool.
>> Jim Murphy (43:28):
Thank you so much. Thanks for having me.
>> Wendy Valentine (43:30):
Yeah, thanks, Jim. and I look forward to listening to the rest of the
book, on the way down to Florida.
>> Jim Murphy (43:35):
Oh, awesome. Well, have a great trip and keep me posted.
>> Wendy Valentine (43:39):
All right, thank you so much, everyone.
Have a great day.
Did this podcast inspire you? Challenge you?
Trigger you to make a change or spit out your coffee
laughing? Good. Then there are three ways you can
thank me. Number one, you can leave a written review
of this podcast on Apple iTunes. Number
two, you can take a screenshot of the episode
(44:01):
and share it on the social media and tag me Wendy
Valentine. Number three, share it with
another midlifer that needs a makeover. You know who
I'm talking about. Thank you so much for listening to
the show. Get out there and be bold. Be
free. Be you.
>> Jim Murphy (44:26):
Sa.
So our human nature is self centered and constant. Ah,
pursuit of comfort. So like I wrote in the book
anytime I. If I had the option, what
would I, rather have? a poke in the eye or, or a
relaxation in the hot tub? I've never chosen
the poke in the eye. It's my whole human nature
is always what's the easiest way? What's the most
(00:22):
comfortable way? Can I just have a lot of money and a lot.
And a lot of really nice things and eat wherever I want and do
whatever I want and just that, that sort of freedom, that's not
really freedom. Freedom is to be
really connected deeply to a mission
and a vision that changes the world.
>> Wendy Valentine (00:39):
Hey there, beautiful. I'm Wendy Valentine, your host
of the Midlife Makeover show, where it's never too
late to wake up to your best life. Whether you're
navigating a career change, empty nesting,
menopause, or wondering what's next, you're in
the right place. Every week I'll bring you real
talk, laughs and inspiring conversations
(01:00):
with expert and extraordinary women who have
transformed their lives from self care and
relationships to starting over and finding freedom.
This is your time to reinvent,
rediscover and reignite the woman you were
always meant to be. So hit that subscribe
button and let's rewrite the rules of midlife.
Your new adventure starts now.
>> Jim Murphy (01:26):
Foreign.
>> Wendy Valentine (01:34):
Ways I overcame divorce, disease and
depression was by changing my mind.
Literally changing my thoughts
changed my life. That's why I created the
Freedom Meditations. So you too
can change your life. If you're feeling
stuck in your thoughts, overwhelmed by life's
challenges, unsure of the next chapter, or
(01:56):
disconnected from your true self, the
Freedom Meditations are for you.
These meditations, rooted in my
exclusive Freedom Framework, are designed to
help you achieve inner peace, empowerment
and clarity. And the best part,
each meditation is only 15 minutes.
Just 15 minutes a day to change your life.
(02:19):
The Freedom Meditations are available now for
an introductory price of just $29.
Head to freedommeditations.com
to grab your session and start your transformation.
Welcome back to the Midlife Makeover Show. I'm your
host, Wendy Valentine. And today I am
absolutely thrilled to introduce you to
(02:40):
a powerhouse and the world of peak performance
and personal transformation. Jim
Murphy. J. Jim is the number
one New York Times bestselling author
and performance coach to some of the
world's greatest athletes and
leaders. Just like me. His groundbreaking
book, Inner Excellence has transformed the way
(03:03):
athletes approach mental toughness,
mindset and living a life of purpose.
Just recently, this is so cool. His book
made headlines when it was spotted in the hands
of 15 Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver
A.J. brown during the playoffs,
sparking a phenomenon that shot it to
the number one spot on the New York Times bestseller list.
(03:27):
Now, with over 200,000 copies sold
and counting, inner excellence is spreading like
wildfire. And for good reason. Today
we're diving deep into Jim's life changing
principles of love, wisdom and
courage. The mindset shifts that separate good
from great and how inner excellence is helping people
live an extraordinary life. Whether you're
(03:49):
on the field, in the boardroom, or
navigating midlife transitions. So
get ready to take notes because this is going to be
packed with game changing, pun intended insights.
Please welcome Jim Murphy to the show.
>> Jim Murphy (04:04):
Thanks, Wendy.
>> Wendy Valentine (04:05):
You're welcome. That's it. We're done. No, just kidding.
It was just the intro. The intro was so good, you know,
that was powerful. Yeah. Welcome. It
is, it's an honor to have you here. And,
Okay, we have to. I'm sure you've been asked this question before,
A.J. brown. Where were you? How
did you find out? And most importantly, Jim,
(04:27):
how did you feel?
>> Jim Murphy (04:29):
Yes, let me tell you, Wendy. So I'm in downtown Dallas,
Texas on Sunday, January 12th.
And it was actually a very somber time in my life.
Business, was slow. Actually didn't pay off my credit cards
in January, first time in years. And, I
don't often check my checking account, so I didn't know how much was in
there. But I'll. But that'll, that'll come into play here in a
(04:51):
minute. I had just written a book called the Best Possible Life.
How to Live with Deep Contentment, Joy and Confidence, no Matter what, A book
about the spiritual life. So that had just come out in
November. And so now we're into January of this year,
2025. And,
I'm walking around empty downtown Dallas and my mom actually was
dying. She died four days later. And so it was a very
somber time. Kind of lonely. Life is slow,
(05:13):
Business slow, Mom dying. And,
yeah. And so, I look up at the skyscraper and I
think, the question comes into my mind, would you rather
own that skyscraper straight out or all the hundreds of
millions of dollars it's worth? Or would you have rather
understood everything that you learned from writing the best
possible life? A life about the spiritual life. A book
(05:33):
about the spiritual life. And I thought, no, I
wouldn't trade it for hundreds of millions of dollars. And so
I thought, well, you know, at least you got that.
That's that's nice. And then a
couple hours later, AJ Brown does his thing and
my life changes. What. What's
interesting about the, the financial part was
(05:54):
a few days later, I'm going to the. I fly into
Philadelphia and I'm on the street, and this guy asked me for
money, and I had no money in my wallet. So I go to the ATM to get some
money, and I try to get up 300 and the ATM says
insufficient funds. And so then I try 200
and it says insufficient funds. I try 100 and
then I get the money. I find the guy, I give him some money.
(06:15):
A few days later, my mortgage payment bounces and my
checking account goes overdrawn. So that was
the week of January 12th. And you know what else happened
that week? We sold about 100,000 books. And
so it was a, ah, crazy dynamic.
>> Wendy Valentine (06:30):
You know. Thank you for sharing that. And I'm so sorry
about your mom.
>> Jim Murphy (06:35):
thank you.
>> Wendy Valentine (06:35):
She's proud of you. I know it.
>> Jim Murphy (06:37):
Thank you. My mom had such a big impact on
me. You know, she. Her family, samurai lineage,
and she's full Japanese. And, her
immense spiritual strength, her gratitude
was just so phenomenal and such a huge
impact on my life.
>> Wendy Valentine (06:55):
So. I don't know if you've heard this quote from Steve
Jobs. You can't connect the dots looking
forward. You can only connect them looking backwards.
And that's one of those. This is one of
the. Like, I'm sure you're still like, ah, just like, you're like you're in a
dream, which we all are really.
but you're looking back at that pivotal
(07:15):
dot that happened.
And I believe that everything happens for a reason. And perfect time,
the good, the bad, the happy, the sad. Right?
I think that is so incredible. And I. And I
love that.
And it's not that A.J. brown isn't, like,
totally awesome and totally cool and, obviously a
(07:35):
pivotal moment right there, but it's you that
made the book the success,
right? It just happened to be that catalyst moment
that just truly launched it,
but it was right when it needed to
be. Have you thought about that? Like, if the book had
hit, like, years ago, how different.
>> Jim Murphy (07:58):
Yeah, I totally thought about that. Many, many
times. All the miracles that have happened, there's no way I could
have orchestrated the timing of everything. like for
eight, for example, AJ Brown playing for the Philadelphia
Eagles, that. That city is where
my hero, I, call him my hero, Shane
Claiborne, he moved there 25 years ago
(08:18):
into one of the neediest parts of the city,
Kensington, where the high school dropout dropout
rate is over 40%. And so he's been
there doing this amazing work for people that really need it. And I'm
going to work with him. Just so happens that they're
in the same city. And so this whole thing being embraced
by people from Philadelphia so immensely is
such an incredible gift because I'm going to go there and we're going to
(08:41):
do some great things together with Shane.
>> Wendy Valentine (08:43):
That is so cool.
So, before we hit record, I told you I had, like,
so many things to share with you, in regards to
your book. So right before I left
Madeira, Portugal, I lived there part of the
time. And then I keep the RV here in the States and
storage. Right. So, I had
gotten an email, I believe, from your
(09:04):
publisher wanting to have you on the show. And I was like,
jim Murphy, who's this Jim Murphy? You know, I'm like, looking it
up. And I was. I was
so captivated by the book, the
idea of the book and what it was all about. And I was like, no
joke. I was looking for a book. I
always listen to a book on audio when I'm driving
the rv and I could not find a book
(09:27):
I really wanted to listen to. And I was like, oh, this is
perfect. I'll listen to his book. Right?
It was so wild that
every single thing. And it has this.
The last few weeks for me have just been
insane. but okay, it's. It's totally
okay. But every single thing, every
chapter that just happened to address
(09:50):
whatever it was that I was going through in
that moment.
And I will start with this is wild.
so I'm driving in South Dakota
down the highway, got the rv and I.
The, rv. His name is Felicia, by the way. Like,
and then, I have this little towable called Fiona the
Fiat. And I tow her behind me.
(10:13):
And, it was dark and raining. It was in the morning.
And I mean, I've been towing for like a couple years.
So I was like, you know, very familiar with it. Right.
I couldn't see the. Behind me. The camera was
dirty, so I couldn't see the car.
And, so I'm driving down the highway and,
people are like, waving. And I'm like, oh, they're just
(10:33):
so friendly here in South Dakota. I'm like, hi.
You know, And I was like, oh, I think they're trying to tell
me to pull over. Like something's wrong.
I pull over,
no shit. My car is on fire.
On fire. So
my first thought is, I'm like, I've got to get this car
(10:55):
unhooked from the RV before the
RV catches on fire.
And these two angels, just
two guys in a pickup truck, happen to pull
over with me with one of them jumps out with the
little fire extinguisher, and one of
them's trying to just get the fire down
enough so that we can detach
(11:17):
the car from the rv. So we're
working as fast as we possibly can. I mean, it was
so crazy. In the same time, talking to nine
one one, I'm like, oh, my God, the car's on fire. You
know? So anyways, we get the car unhooked, and I'm like.
And I had to drive the RV down the highway to get
it away from the burning vehicle. I mean, this sucker
(11:39):
is like a burnt marshmallow now.
Point is, not. Besides just, like, the regular
traumatic experience of this car going up into flames.
After I settled down and I continued on with
my road trip that day, I was like, I
need to listen to Jim
Jimmy something good. And you
(12:01):
were talking about material
possessions and stuff and
how. And. And I've shared with you already. Like,
I got rid of everything. Everything I have is
inside this little box on wheels.
And it was. I. I, did even have. In
the back of Fiona in the. In the back seat, I had
my suitcases, and it was filled with, dresses for all
(12:24):
my podcast interviews that, you know, from, for the book.
And I was like, oh, my God, all of that's torched.
Everything's gone. You know, and it was just like, your
words were like this reminder of,
it's okay. Like, everything
is okay. Like, you. You. I'm healthy. And I
was like, I just went into this nice
(12:45):
feeling of gratitude, of just, like, I'm
alive. It's. Everything's okay. Nobody was
harmed. It could have been way
worse. And, So, yeah, you never
know the impact that you can
have on people. Even just those, like,
two words of, like, right at the right time. So thank
(13:05):
you.
>> Jim Murphy (13:06):
That's amazing. Thank you for sharing that.
You know, it reminds me, I just had this conversation with an executive
who's facing this situation, maybe the toughest
he's ever faced. He possibly could lose,
his huge house, his. All his
money, everything. Could lose it all potentially. And
so, we were having this conversation, and I said,
just remember, as you go forward, the number one thing
(13:29):
that you have is. And, And that you could
do, because we. He talked about, I just really got to be productive and I said
the number one thing, the most productive thing that you could possibly do
is to become a certain type of person.
And so it doesn't matter how many followers you
have, how many millions of dollars you have, or lack
of followers or money you have. The number one thing is who
(13:49):
you're becoming. And, Because who you're becoming is where you. What you take
with you everywhere you go. And if you have inner
peace and inner strength inside you, then you go
out into the world and strength. But if you've got, anxiety
and fear and. And, envy inside of
you, then you go out into the world in weakness, no matter how many
millions of dollars you have.
>> Wendy Valentine (14:08):
Yeah. Yeah. It's,
it's. It's detachment. It's surrender. I think
sometimes we. We think of surrender as a sign of
weakness, but it's actually strength when you're waving
that white flag and it's like
you're. You're not. It's like being in the world but not of it. Right.
Being in the game, but not of it.
(14:30):
Yeah. Being in a relationship, but not of, it being, in
a traumatic experience of your car going up in
flames. You know, like, you almost have to
just like what? I like being an
observer in moments like that. And your most
critical moments of just kind of like
zooming out. I kind of like the zoom out approach. You know, like if you were like
(14:50):
a drone, you know, you kind of like get inside that little
drone and you zoom out and you're just like watching and
observing so that you're. Because
we. I mean, it's only natural, I think, as human
beings. We're human beings being human. Right. Like,
we are. We are emotional creatures. It's only
natural to get emotionally caught up in
stuff. But if you get, as, you know, if you get so
(15:12):
emotionally attached to it, you can't even. I think you talked about
that too. I can't remember what you had said about that, but it's almost
like you can't. You can't think
your way through it or think logically because you're
so. So overwhelmed
emotionally with something, no matter what it is.
>> Jim Murphy (15:30):
Can I share a story with you about surrender? Yes.
>> Wendy Valentine (15:32):
Yeah.
>> Jim Murphy (15:32):
Well, if we, if we think about surrender, there's a few
things that are so important to think about. Is. One is.
Is, Alcoholics Anonymous. I mean, they've changed millions
and millions of lives and that. And the basis is. Is
to surrender to our power greater than yourself. And I think
everybody really knows that there is a power
greater than Ourselves, whatever that power is
(15:53):
that that holds the stars in place and grows the
grass, that power is, something that we can
all connect to. And
if you imagine I was at a,
Ryder cup and top 10 golfer in the world asked me,
jim, I'm too attached to my results and
circumstances that's causing this anxiety and
(16:14):
fear and frustration. And he
said, what can I do? And I said, well, imagine there's a kid
that loves lollipops. And, is there a
way that you could easily take that lollipop from
him where he hands it over very easily
with no struggle? And, he
said, well, how could I do that? And they said, well, you just trade him a bigger
(16:34):
lollipop. And so do you think what
kid wouldn't surrender their little lollipop
for a bigger one? And this is the essence of inner
excellence. We're surrendering our little strength
for greater strength.
We're surrendering our limited vision for greater
vision.
>> Wendy Valentine (16:50):
Yeah. And it's sweeter, no pun
intended.
>> Jim Murphy (16:53):
Our little truth or capital T? Truth.
>> Wendy Valentine (16:56):
Yeah, yeah. And litters your little
self or your higher self. Right. I mean, I
think before, you know, for me, like before I, took
off in this wild journey, you know,
years ago, selling everything, bought the rv, started the
podcast, started writing my book, blah, blah, blah,
the greatest, greatest thing
(17:17):
that I had to do and the greatest gift I
gave to myself was literally
just getting out of my own way.
I was the one standing in my own way.
I'm like, it would be great to blame
everybody. The economy,
politics, your mother, your father,
(17:38):
your husband, all of that stuff. Stuff. But
it's really you. I mean, it is.
I had to have that kind of like,
moment where I was like, girl, you can't
blame anybody but yourself. And it's not really blame or
shame. It's just like, give yourself the
gift of, just enjoying your life the way
that you, your spirit would want to live.
(18:02):
Because the rest.
>> Jim Murphy (18:02):
The question is. Yeah, the question is,
are you willing to let go of your past? Are you
willing to let go of who you've been? To become
who you can become?
>> Wendy Valentine (18:12):
Yep. And that's really, that's. That
is, that is such a good question. Because
that is a very tricky thing for people
because, it's just like, I love
quotes, obviously. Marianne Williamson. Our
deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that
we're powerful beyond measure. It is our light,
(18:33):
not our darkness, that most frightens us.
And I remember years ago reading that
and thinking, what if and this is a
question for all of us. What if you
stepped into your light
fully because
you might have to leave a job, you
(18:53):
might have to leave a relationship, you might
have to just even like with what I was
listening to today in your book. And
sometimes it's, it's, it's,
it's challenging to actually reach
that inner excellence. It is, it's not like
just handed to you on a silver platter. Wouldn't that be great?
(19:14):
Like you have to put the work in, you have
to like it's. Yeah.
>> Jim Murphy (19:19):
So our human nature is self centered and constant,
pursuit of comfort. So like I wrote in the book,
anytime I, if I had the option, what would
I rather have? a poke in the eye or, or a
relaxation, in the hot tub. I've never chosen the
poke in the eye. It's my whole human nature
is always what's the easiest way, what's the most
(19:41):
comfortable way. Can I just have a lot of money and a lot,
and a lot of really nice things and eat wherever I want and do
whatever I want and just that sort of freedom, that's not
really freedom. Freedom is to, is to be
really connected deeply to a
mission and a vision that changes the world.
>> Wendy Valentine (20:00):
Plus two. Yeah, I like that. Plus you. I
feel like you really appreciate more now. For example, like
you told the story about going to the ATM machine and then
you sold a hundred thousand copies, right?
It's the dichotomy of life, right? You
wouldn't know, you wouldn't know light if you
didn't know dark. You wouldn't know joy if you didn't know
(20:20):
sadness. And so now it's like experiencing
both, it's like, oh, like you really
appreciate it more of just that
and knowing that no matter
where you are at in your life, no matter your, you're not your
circumstances, you can still have that peace
and that love and wisdom and courage, right?
With despite what's going on around you.
(20:43):
Because I mean especially here, you know,
m majority of the people here I would think are at
midlife. They're going to have parents unfortunately that
are passing away. They're going to have, there's,
there's going to be lots of tragedies that that
happen. And I think the key is,
is like how, how do you go through
(21:03):
all of that and still have
your peace?
>> Jim Murphy (21:07):
So you mentioned that the dichotomy of life.
So that's a very important concept to understand
most people because like I said, human nature is the self
centered pursuit of comfort and
most people, ah, constantly
avoid, like, like me, constantly avoid
discomfort and always pursuing comfort. But what I
(21:29):
found is that the best possible life, a life
of deep contentment, joy and confidence, no matter what. A
life filled with love, joy, peace,
patience, kindness and goodness and
faithfulness and gentleness and
especially self control. That life
has one foot in joy, one foot in suffering.
>> Wendy Valentine (21:49):
Yeah, that's true. Yeah.
And, and again, I think that's just part of being human. It's
just part of the human experience. Right? It's. You
can't avoid tough times.
It's going to happen.
Right, so love, wisdom,
courage. Is that right? Those are the three. Three. How did
you come up with those?
>> Jim Murphy (22:10):
You know, it's amazing. When I'm in the five years full time
writing and researching for inner excellence,
it kind of came down to those three I felt were the most
powerful resources in the universe. And then I'm
doing more research, reading about the Samurai, my mom's
lineage. And then I read about the code of the
samurai, the Bushido code. And it
says it's based on three principles. Love,
(22:32):
wisdom and courage. And I was like, oh my gosh,
those are the three I chose. And I'm Japanese and that's my
weird. I come from that lineage. And I was like,
oh my gosh, this was not random.
So, you know, and I don't know,
like I don't remember exactly what led to
those three, but I do know that
(22:54):
love is What happened was I
realized that your heart is the key to your life, your spirit, your
will. That was one of the biggest things that I learned in the desert, is that
if you want to live an extraordinary life, training your heart,
the deepest part of you, your spirit and your will, is the most
important thing that you'll ever do. And it's
that willingness to surrender to a power greater than yourself.
(23:16):
And so, realizing that what I
think that I want most as far as if I could have
any feeling or anything in the world, I want anything that
I ever want in the world, it's because I want joy.
M and I define joy as a deep sense of well
being, freedom and gratitude, independent of
circumstance. An inner buoyancy that, that
(23:36):
keeps you, connected to the
realities of heaven. Whereas happiness is a
temporary positive feeling based on what's happening.
And so, because joy is such a
amazing, thing and joy comes from love. And
so, and love, there's no fear in love.
The greatest challenge we have in performance and in life is
(23:57):
getting in our own way. Like you said our self centeredness and that
leads to fear. And
if you want to be fearless, then you're selfless. And the way to be selfless
is through love.
>> Wendy Valentine (24:07):
Grab your Sharpie because it's time to set
solid permanent boundaries in your
relationships and in your life. And why
do you need boundaries? Boundaries tell the world
where you draw the line. Where you say yes
and where you say no. Studies have shown
that people who have healthy boundaries have higher self
esteem, greater confidence, less burnout,
(24:29):
a greater sense of identity and less
stress. Being clear with your boundaries
means you are clear with who you are and how you
live your life. To help you set clear boundaries,
I created a free guidebook called the Boundary
Boss Blueprint. Please go to
wendyvalentine.com
forward/boundary to receive
(24:51):
your free download. So you too can
be a boundary boss with less stress, higher
self esteem and greater health and
happiness.
Did you ever read any of David Hawkins books?
He, he talks about like, yeah. Do
you remember him talking about the different levels of
frequencies of emotions?
(25:13):
I think, I believe gratitude is number
one, like the highest form. And then there's joy.
I mean they pretty much go hand in.
>> Jim Murphy (25:21):
That's a great, great book. you know, when I think of gratitude,
it's, it's part one of our four daily goals. The other three
are to be present to give the best of what you got each day
and, and to focus on your routines and only what you can control.
Gratitude is so huge. I always think of it as connected,
kind of a five part entity. Gratitude
connected to, directly to inner strength, inner peace, which
(25:42):
is connected to inner strength. It's connected to mental
toughness and they're all connected to beauty. And
so gratitude is kind of the key
point. That hinge there.
>> Wendy Valentine (25:53):
Yeah.
You know, it's interesting. I feel like
it's so easy for all of us. Like we can, we can listen to
podcasts, we can read books, we can do all
the things. You're absorbing this knowledge,
but really that's in. The second element is
wisdom. It's, it's when you're able to
apply this knowledge in your life,
(26:15):
when it's a part of you. It's, it's like
it becomes a knowingness I guess.
Right. And you don't really know, you don't really know.
Became a knowingness until
way after the fact. Right. Like I'm going
to share one more. A second experience that I had. I can't
give too many details, but I had
(26:37):
a moment with, with someone that
was really, really
criticizing me. to the point just like,
I mean, just like a bully. And it was one of those
moments again, kind of like I had like this like out of body
experience where I was just like, I'm like I
was there, I was hearing everything, but I was like,
(26:57):
hm, what do I do with this? You know, I was like tapping
in. And
again, like your words came at the perfect time
because then it was shortly after. That's when it was the.
What, is it the self mastery is mastering ego. The
unembarrassable, unoffendable and
unirritatable. Yeah, I was all
three and then some. you know, but
(27:19):
here's the thing. Like as we were all
learning to be better people better.
You know, everything in life that
give yourself grace. Like, even
when you're going through something that's horrific and
you're like, damn, I really didn't do too great with all
that, you know. But you learn from it.
(27:41):
And I feel like I don't,
I don't, I don't stay down for too long.
Like I bounce back quicker. And that
even that is something to pat yourself on the back for.
Like, okay, cool, cool. I'm not like, I could have
gone into a massive depression for, you know, two weeks,
but I was like, I give it a day or two and I'm like,
(28:01):
okay, I'm good to go. You know, like,
I think it's just really learning more
about who you are, what you love,
what brings you that joy and
just continuing. It's. I mean, we're just like. We're like our
own little guinea pigs in life.
>> Jim Murphy (28:19):
I got a little story for you, Wendy.
>> Wendy Valentine (28:21):
Oh, good.
>> Jim Murphy (28:23):
So,
the other day I was. I was, meeting m
someone and I drove an hour to meet them and
I think they might have forgotten about me. And I was, I was
pretty busy and I was in another state and I had a bunch of people that,
that wanted to get together, but I chose this one person,
drove an hour to meet them and I think they kind of forgot about me. And so
(28:45):
then they, they, We were going to meet for lunch and they said, let's meet for dinner
instead. And so I remember thinking, I'm not going to eat for
dinner. I. You know, you had your chance. And then,
and then, I started thinking about, okay, what am I going to do instead?
And then I thought, wait a second. Is there any part of you that
took that personal? Like, is your
ego involved here? Because we always want to know. Because
(29:06):
the ego is a part of me that's. That's always comparing, always
threatened, never satisfied, always empty,
over inflated or under inflated. And I don't want to be mastered by
my ego. I want to master the ego, not be mastered by it. And so
I always want to understand, is this my ego? And so I asked
myself, is there any part of you that took that personal? And
I said, probably. And
(29:27):
so, yes, I did. And then I say,
okay, so what if you were not to take it personal
whatsoever, completely free to make any decision
you wanted, including go to dinner with. With this person?
And, I thought,
I think I would stay in town, this part of town that I drove
to, and I would go to dinner with them.
(29:48):
And so I did, and it was a great dinner, and they
were happy that I was there, and it was. It was wonderful.
And then the next morning, in that same town where I spent the night, because I
decided this day, I went to go find a coffee
shop to have a, weekly meeting with a spiritual mentor.
So I went to the coffee shop to do our zoom call. And I'm driving in
this coffee shop, this area, looking for it, and I'm like, man, ah, this
(30:09):
place looks familiar. And then I was like,
oh, I know what this is. This is where one of my clients
lives. So I texted this client, this client who
was. Who was actually world number one. and, I said,
hey, how's it going? Just, just in this neck
of the woods, just want to say hello. And then the client's like, oh, my gosh,
it's so great to hear from you. We went for brunch the
(30:29):
next day and had this great day. And, that would not have
happened had I not stopped and said, yeah,
am I taking this personal? Because I would have went to some other part of the state.
Uh-huh.
>> Wendy Valentine (30:39):
Goes to show, everything happens for a reason, too.
>> Jim Murphy (30:42):
Well, another big part of that is to. So how do we not
take things personal? The key here is inter
excellence principle number two. And it is
everyone always does the best they can with what they have in their
heart. And so anyone
that does anything that's rude or
unhelpful or mean or terrible,
(31:02):
it doesn't mean, like, if someone does something that's horrific, it doesn't
mean that they shouldn't pay the consequences. I'm not talking about what should happen
to that person. I'm talking about, what caused
their behavior is. Well,
or at least here's how you can think about it. No one ever
hurts anyone on Purpose. If they're filled with love, joy and peace,
never would happen. It's only by accident. And
(31:23):
so if someone does something that is mean or hurtful or rude
or whatever, it's because they're lacking these resources.
And so if anyone ever says anything that's not
helpful or is rude, then. And if
you remember this principle that they're doing the best they can with
what they have in their heart. In other words, with their
childhood, with their wounds, their fears,
(31:44):
their beliefs, their lens through seeing the world,
they did the best they could with what they had. And not
only that, you would have said or done the
exact same thing they said or did if you
had their heart.
>> Wendy Valentine (31:57):
Yes, it's true. Right, Right. Yeah.
>> Jim Murphy (31:59):
so this stops us from judging, which allows us to stay in that
flow of resonance where we're at our best. Because when we
judge, we lose curiosity, we lose our vision, we
lose pretty much everything when we judge others. It creates
this negative energy within us.
>> Wendy Valentine (32:14):
How do you find that happy medium of
boundaries and that detachment
and that understanding?
>> Jim Murphy (32:22):
Yeah, it's a great question.
Well, unconditional love, it's
fearless, right? It's the most powerful force in the universe. It also has
strict boundaries. For example, Little Boaz, my 6 year
old nephew, if he, he wants to eat, say, a pound
of chocolate or wants to go play in the highway,
my answer would be no. Not even if he asked 10
times, or 100 times, or a thousand times. Right. Because unconditional
(32:45):
love has strict boundaries. Very
strict. Right. You don't, you don't give someone, what
they want necessarily. You hope what they want
is what's best for them. Because if,
if what they want is not what's best for them, and you know what's best for
them, then you're going to give them what's best for them if you love them. Right?
So this is, this is how unconditional love works. And it's a great question
(33:05):
to ask for any situation is how can I love
this person the best? Sometimes it means
creating a boundary, other times it means sending
them a book or, or, giving them a hug or
whatever it is that's such a good.
>> Wendy Valentine (33:19):
What did you say? What is the best way I can love this person?
Yeah, I love that. it's interesting, I
was thinking about this the other day. The love, wisdom, and courage.
It's interesting. They're not tangible. They're not tangible
things. You know what I mean? Like, I couldn't
hand you a jar of love. I Can't hand you a jar of
wisdom or a jar of courage. This stuff
(33:41):
is created within us that we create,
that we, that we choose
actually to nurture.
>> Jim Murphy (33:50):
The way I think about it is we're created a certain way.
And if you don't understand how you're created or what
you're created for, you're going to be constantly pursuing it,
looking for it everywhere you can. And most people spend their entire
lives pursuing this, this piece
inside them by getting symbols of success.
Because those symbols, if I get these symbols, money or
(34:11):
status or followers, then people are going to give me some
sort of love in return. Right? And, but it's
always a false, A, temporary love just based on what I gave them.
And so I gave them a great performance and I won the
Masters. So I'm going to get this love, or I gave them a
great concert, or I gave them some money, or I bought them a meal,
then I'm going to get something in return. And so this, this
(34:31):
is the false love that most people have pursued because they don't know how
to get any, other kind of love. So.
But it's so important to understand that, that we are
created for relationship, yeah, with God,
self, others, our work, the
environment, and, wisdom. The way I define
wisdom is to know who God is, the creator of the universe, and
(34:52):
therefore who you are, what he's doing in the world, and how you can join
in. Because if you don't have wisdom,
wisdom is really an understanding of eternal truths. Capital
T truths. Because it's true. Like this is,
this is a, you're in an, rv and I'm in a hotel room and
I'm sitting on a chair. These are all true things, but they're not
eternal things. The what, what happens is people,
(35:12):
they, they grab onto and worship things that are
not lasting. Like for me, I, my God
for most of my life was being a superstar and this was
very, very, unstable.
And so what interaction says, hey, let's,
you're, you're worshiping something, you have faith in something.
Let's put it in something that's powerful and stable.
>> Wendy Valentine (35:34):
Well, and as we know, it's like we come into this world with nothing,
we'll leave with nothing. Right? And
I mean, here's a little science for everyone.
An atom is
99.9999 energy,
which leaves only 0.00001%
matter. So why does it matter? We are more
energy than matter. Like the chair you're sitting
(35:57):
on, the dinette that I'M sitting on. It's all
energy. Like with our human eye, it looks like
physical, very important physical matter,
you know, but it's all energy
and we are energy. And like we're just kind of
swimming in this little soup bowl
together. And there's really, like, if you break
(36:17):
it down that way into, into that energy,
it's. It's way more important and way
more powerful than the labels that we
attach to that.0001% of
matter, including titles, including
Ph.D. or Maryland or
author or athlete. You know what I mean? Like,
(36:38):
it's, it's so much more powerful
that. Than that. And I think when you can tap into
that energy and just swim with it
and dance with the universe, it's so
much more enjoyable. And it's so not.
So it doesn't. You don't feel that pressure that you do.
>> Jim Murphy (36:57):
So I always tell my professional athletes and Olympic athletes that the
number one most important thing every day is your
energy. It's your heart. Guard your heart. Because that's where
everything you think, say and do flows from it. When I say guard your heart,
I mean be very intentional about what
you look at, what you watch, read, who you spend time
with, because your overall
(37:17):
energy is going to be the most
important factor that impacts your day.
And so there is an energy that grows the grass and
spins the earth and holds the stars in place that you can connect
to every day. And the farther you are from that, the more fear you
have, the closer you get to that, the more love and fearless you are.
And so we as humans, we get so caught
(37:38):
up in the temporary, superficial, oh, I just missed
that pot. Or I don't, oh, I just made a mistake. Or oh,
I just lost this or lost that. And we just ride these
emotional roller coasters based on our circumstances
and results, when these are all very temporary,
superficial things. And what's far more important than
whatever you think the problem is that you're facing right now is,
is the energy you have and who you're becoming based on that
(38:01):
energy.
>> Wendy Valentine (38:02):
Yeah, yeah, I know. I was like, when I. When
I shared that moment with you when I was
being criticized horribly by
someone, and I remember thinking, like,
I. I can choose my energy, how I
receive this, whether I hold on
to it, you know, like, make it personal.
(38:22):
But we all have that choice of the
energy that we receive in the energy that we put
out there, the love and, and if
someone's bringing you down or something,
then. Then do something about it, right? Because,
I mean, I'm like an energy snob now
in a good way. You know, like to me that's self
(38:44):
care. Like I'm, I, I'm going to
protect this heart. Not so much. Not
like protecting as as in putting up walls
so that nothing can go in or out. But as
in I want
to be able to give and love give,
give and receive love freely.
(39:04):
And if there is energy,
horrible toxic energy that is weighing
that down, then that makes it more challenging for
me to be able to do what I do right on a
daily basis.
>> Jim Murphy (39:17):
So what someone says about you, it says much more about
them than it does about you. When someone's, what someone
says about you is based on their, the vision
that they have of the, the world and they
have them themselves. And so we're all
created in God's image.
And so how I treat you is based on how I
see what I believe about myself, about God, about the
(39:38):
universe, about all of us. Like are we all connected? Are we not?
Am I in self protection or this, this creative self
expression that's egoless. Because
when I interact with somebody
and someone's interacting with me, the
energy that we exchange is based on what
we see as possible. What the,
(39:59):
the the expansion, expansion
or expansiveness of our vision. For
example, the more connected someone
is, the more they're going to see what's possible for the person they're
talking to. The less connected they are, the more
isolated they are, the lower, the smaller their
vision and the less they're going to see the possibilities for that
person. So that's why it's so crucial to
(40:21):
understand that when someone says something about you,
says so much about that person, much more than
it says about you. I mean none of it may be true or not, but it really tells a lot
about the person.
>> Wendy Valentine (40:31):
Yeah, funny, I was also thinking too when I
had so many great thoughts when I was listening to your book.
but my, we always say mindset, but it's
really heart set.
>> Jim Murphy (40:43):
Yes, exactly. Yeah, your mind. We use the mind to train the
heart because what's in your heart is where everything you
think saying do comes from. And when you're squeezed, what's in your heart,
when you're under pressure, what's in your heart is going to come out. Just like you squeeze
an orange that's not going to get apple juice, we're going to get
orange juice because whatever's inside is going to come out. And that's what
happens when we're squeezed. We have this a lot of times we have false
(41:03):
peace if we have really good circumstances or results and we're happy. Right.
This temporary positive feeling. But take away all
of your possessions and all of your achievements and status and then
are you still happy? Like, you're not going to be happy, but can you have peace?
Can you have joy? And then, you know, that's a real,
real test.
>> Wendy Valentine (41:19):
Yeah. I mean, inner, Inner excellence
really is outer excellence. It is. The
outer excellence is a result of that.
Because if you, if you're happy here in your
heart and in your mind and in your
body and in your spirit, the
world is just different to you. I
(41:39):
mean, I don't know about, like, how different your life has
changed. Just what's going on around you.
Dependent on how you feel on the inside.
>> Jim Murphy (41:49):
Yeah. I mean, my life changed a lot in January 12th. And,
I think my life, my whole life has been training
for this moment. And that same thing for you, you know, when your
car caught on fire, this was training for you. And
it wasn't like you said, it wasn't just a random, terrible thing, but
it's training for you. And so it's so important
to understand that everything that we go through is training
(42:12):
for us, for our future.
>> Wendy Valentine (42:14):
Yeah. And, and how you can even grow from that,
whatever it is that you're going through.
You know, it's like I, I feel like any, anything
that hap. No matter how small or how big,
I'll take that moment and go, okay, what can I learn?
What do I got here? Like, there's something here. I
just know it. And sometimes, sometimes you don't always get the
(42:35):
lesson right away. It, might come to you later on,
or you might realize you might come into another
state, similar situation where you realized you handle
that situation way better than the time before.
And then you're like, oh, damn, I did grow from that.
You know, I love it. I could talk about
this stuff all day.
(42:56):
All right, so where can we find you? Where does everyone
get your book? You already know I got it.
>> Jim Murphy (43:02):
Yeah. So I have a website, inner excellence.com, where you can sign up
for the VIP newsletter and follow all the workshops and
where I'll be and, what we got going next. Any
retreats? and then, Inter Excellence
is in most bookstores that sell English level
English language books. And then I'm also on Instagram, Inter Excellence,
Jim Murphy, and most other social media.
>> Wendy Valentine (43:22):
I've enjoyed watching all your interviews and
doing all the, you know, book signings. That's so
cool.
>> Jim Murphy (43:28):
Thank you so much. Thanks for having me.
>> Wendy Valentine (43:30):
Yeah, thanks, Jim. and I look forward to listening to the rest of the
book, on the way down to Florida.
>> Jim Murphy (43:35):
Oh, awesome. Well, have a great trip and keep me posted.
>> Wendy Valentine (43:39):
All right, thank you so much, everyone.
Have a great day.
Did this podcast inspire you? Challenge you?
Trigger you to make a change or spit out your coffee
laughing? Good. Then there are three ways you can
thank me. Number one, you can leave a written review
of this podcast on Apple iTunes. Number
two, you can take a screenshot of the episode
(44:01):
and share it on the social media and tag me Wendy
Valentine. Number three, share it with
another midlifer that needs a makeover. You know who
I'm talking about. Thank you so much for listening to
the show. Get out there and be bold. Be
free. Be you.
>> Jim Murphy (44:26):
Sa.
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