June 10, 2025 • 49 mins
In this empowering and heart-centered episode of The Midlife Makeover Show, Wendy welcomes Kristi Simons, a former educator turned teen life coach, who’s on a mission to help teenagers thrive emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Kristi shares powerful insights on how confidence isn’t just something we feel—it’s something we do. With heartfelt stories and actionable tools, she shows us how we can support our teens without trying to fix them and why emotional intelligence is the missing link in so many young lives.
From her own journey of disconnection as a teen to now coaching young people on how to trust themselves, take brave action, and reverse engineer how they want to feel, Kristi’s work is transformational. Whether you’re raising teens or healing your own inner teen, this conversation is packed with soulful wisdom, laughter, and inspiration.
What You’ll Learn:
- Why emotional intelligence is more important than straight A’s
- How reverse engineering your emotions can boost confidence
- The difference between coaching and therapy—and why teens may need both
- Tips for parents to support teens without hovering or “fixing”
- How Kristi helps teens build spiritual and emotional resilience
🎧 Tune in now at themidlifemakeovershow.com or wherever you listen to podcasts!
👉 Connect with Kristi
Website: https://kristisimonscoaching.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kristisimonscoaching/
🌟 Explore All Things Midlife & More
📖 Preorder Women Waking Up
🧘♀️ Find Your Inner Calm with FREEDOM Meditations
🦸♀️ Unleash Your Midlife Superpowers!
📸 Follow My Midlife Adventures on IG!
🛍️ Shop My Favorite Midlife Must-Haves!
🎤 Know Someone Inspiring? Nominate a Guest!
⭐️ Love the S
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
>> Kristi Simons (00:00):
That's the other beautiful part about like making
progress and just creating progress on a daily basis
is you'll also start to notice that like your shift
or your perspective not only shifts
like within, it also shifts without.
And so you start to see people, yourself
included, through like a, different lens. And it is
(00:20):
definitely more loving. And
again, you just continue working the muscle and it just
continues to get stronger and stronger. And then you're able to tap
into your own feelings
and also other people's. Like, you can really start to connect with
that because your walls aren't up anymore. And it makes life
so much easier. It really, truly does.
>> Wendy Valentine (00:42):
Hey there, beautiful. I'm Wendy Valentine, your host
of the Midlife Makeover show, where it's never too
late to wake up to your best life. Whether you're
navigating a career change, empty nesting,
menopause, or wondering what's next, you're in
the right place. Every week, I'll bring you real
talk, laughs and inspiring conversations
(01:02):
with experts and academ extraordinary women who have
transformed their lives from self care and
relationships to starting over and finding freedom.
This is your time to reinvent,
rediscover and reignite the woman you were
always meant to be. So hit that subscribe
button and let's rewrite the rules of midlife.
Your new adventure starts now.
(01:35):
You know, when I hit my mid-40s, everything
felt like it was literally falling apart.
Divorce, debt, illness, grief.
I had no job, no direction, and
honestly, no idea who I was anymore.
So one day I walked into a Barnes and Noble
hoping to find a book that could pull me out of the
(01:56):
trenches. A guide, a light, something,
anything to help me make sense
of what I was going through. But I searched
those shelves from top to bottom and came up
empty. And yes, sure, I had
read all the self help books to help myself,
but I wasn't looking for another how to be
(02:18):
happy book. I wanted a book
that could talk to me. A,
midlife woman with an empty nest, an
empty bank account, and an emptiness
inside she couldn't explain.
There was nothing for the woman who
wanted to reinvent, rediscover
and rise. So
(02:40):
I made a vow to myself right then and there,
if I couldn't find the book I needed, I would
write it. And that's how Women
Waking up the Midlife Manifesto for
Passion, Purpose and Play was born.
This book is part memoir, part guidebook,
and 100% midlife empowerment.
(03:01):
It's packed with stories, tools, and a
seven step method I use to rebuild my
life from the ground up. I wrote it
for the woman who's feeling stuck. For the woman who's
ready to break free but doesn't know how
to. For the woman who's quietly wondering, is.
This really all there is?
(03:22):
This isn't just a book. It's a movement.
And you can be part of it. It's called
the Women Waking Up Team and there
are just eight days left to join.
Here's how it works. Instead of waiting until
the book comes out in September, you'll get an
advanced PDF copy of Women Waking
(03:42):
up in July. That's right, you
get to read it before anyone else in the whole
wide world. Then, on launch
day, September 9th, you'll post a review on
Amazon. That review helps other
women find the book, feel seen,
and know they're not alone.
Because your voice matters. Your review
(04:05):
matters. And the more voices we have, the more
lives we can touch. And yes,
you'll also receive over
$1,000 in bonuses.
But more than that, you'll be part of
something meaningful. This is your
chance to help wake up the world one
woman at a time. So here's what you do.
(04:28):
Number one, pre order women waking up
on Amazon. Number two, go
to wakeupteam.com that is
wakeupteam.com and sign
up by June 18th. Number
three, get your advanced copy in July.
Number four, read women waking up
(04:49):
before it even hits the shelves. And
number five, leave your Amazon review on
launch day, September 9th. And if
you already pre ordered the book, first of all, thank
you. Second of all, you can still join the
team and get early access. Just
head towake up team.com.
(05:09):
i'm so grateful for you. This is the
book I needed and now it's
yours. Let's wake up the world together.
Now let's dive into today's show.
Welcome back to the Midlife Makeover Show. Today's
guest is not only a passionate coach
and former educator, but also a
(05:30):
fierce advocate for our next generation.
Woohoo. Christy Simons is a
teen life coach who's made it her mission to
teach teenagers what she wishes she had
known at her age. Practical tools,
emotional awareness and the confidence to
trust themselves and take brave action.
As a former teacher and a mom to two amazing
(05:52):
kids, Listen to these names. They are adorable.
Hendrix and Beatrix, both with
exes. I love it. Christie brings both heart
and real world experience to every everything
she does. In this episode, we'll chat about
how confidence is more than just a feeling.
It's something we do. word.
Christy will share how she helps teens Reverse
(06:14):
engineer how they want to feel, why taking action
is the ultimate confidence builder. I totally agree.
And how parents can support their teens
without fixing everything for them.
This conversation is empowering, heartfelt,
and packed with wisdom for anyone
raising, mentoring, or being a
teenager.
(06:35):
Please welcome Christy to the show.
>> Kristi Simons (06:40):
Oh, my gosh, I'm smiling so big right now. That was
incredible. I literally felt I was seeing in my mind, like, you know,
before, like, a football game, when they all come, like, running through the
smoke, and there's the lights and the music and the. The
mascot. You feel like the mascot on the show right now. I
appreciate you, and I appreciate all of that. That
was incredible. Well, confetti, I've never been
(07:00):
introduced.
>> Wendy Valentine (07:03):
What's funny, you know, I. I used to, I used to
record these separately. Like, I would just
record them afterwards or whatever, and then I'd have the editor
attach it, you know, and then I was being
interviewed by someone, and she did that, and I was
like, damn. I kind of like that. I was like, you know,
like, little boost, you know, for the guests. And they're like,
(07:23):
damn, who's she talking about?
so, yeah, I love it, too. Kind of like brings the energy
instead of just like all of a sudden going, and here we are,
you know?
>> Kristi Simons (07:35):
And, I mean, it truly is such a gift, though. I do want to thank you
for having me. I was thinking about this earlier,
and what came through for me, too, was just that every time I get
to have a conversation like this, it's almost as if.
Almost bridges, like, this gap for me in my memory. So there
are always things that will come to surface that I am
needing to hear. And then I feel like in turn, in these convers,
(07:57):
that same thing is happening for other people. So
meaningful conversations are just my absolute favorite thing. So. I
feel honored to be here with you.
>> Wendy Valentine (08:04):
Yeah, it's. I'm so honored to have you
here. And I shared with you earlier that
it's always my thing. Like, in the morning when I'm getting ready, I
think about my guest. Like, the guest, the. The interview
I'm going to be having. I think about my listener. Like, what do they
need to hear? And what can I ask that can really help
them, you know, and help you? And.
(08:25):
And I. I love this. First of all, you.
You are the very first teen coach
that I've ever had on the show. And you think
about. There's a lot of. A lot probably
midlifers out there that still have teens
at home or even shoot. I mean,
you could even have a, Teenager grandchild.
(08:46):
I mean, really. Right. So.
And it made me think
about teenager Wendy.
And I think that's we should all, whoever's listening
right now, think about who you were back
then. You know, like the who you were as a
teenager, what you struggled with,
(09:06):
what was easy, what was fun, what was
challenging. And I mean, those are
critical, critical years
of our lives. I'm curious, what were you
like as a teenager and what were some of your
struggles?
>> Kristi Simons (09:22):
Well, what I was just thinking about is that question I told you before that
I ask everybody that comes onto my podcast. It's if you could
speak to your team self, what would she need to hear? And
it's probably like my favorite thing. Like, I wish I could honestly take
clippets of all of those moments for all of the guests that have been on the
show and just like compile them, like put them all together. Because that's
truly where the value is. And our answer will change,
like on a day to day basis. For
(09:44):
me, it's really about understanding
back then that like, there was this power source
within that I could tap into. I was just
numbing myself to that. And it's because I didn't feel
accepted. And a lot of things were really
based on external factors. And
so had I learned to come
back, like within and really
(10:06):
reconnect with myself and my authenticity and the things that I
love just by asking myself simple questions on a daily basis
and then taking action in that direction, it
would have significantly changed the trajectory of my
life. So my teen self was really the
opposite of that. She was disconnected,
she was numbing constantly. She was
(10:26):
putting herself in, putting herself in situations with
people, that really did not serve her.
That caused a lot of shame
for me, like, especially as I moved into
adulthood, had my children and went on my
own healing journey, I started to recognize, like, when I
started doing this work and stepped away from teaching that my team years are
(10:47):
really the reason why I do this. Like, it's her voice that has been
trying to speak the loudest. It's her power that I'm
tapping into now because I never tapped into it back
then. And this is what is guiding the way that I teach
teams. moving forward.
>> Wendy Valentine (10:59):
What was your support like back then and your
guidance?
>> Kristi Simons (11:05):
Looking back and understanding what I
know now, my parents, my
teachers, everyone around me really,
they didn't understand what I also didn't understand.
And so to expect
them to teach me something that they didn't know themselves. This is why I
talk a lot on my podcast too, about Just how
(11:27):
teachers are doing their best. I was doing my best back when I was
in the classroom. But really, truly, when I look at, at
like the whole picture, they are really
missing a lot of the key foundational
skills that are really going to help our youth to
thrive as they get older, as they
explore, as they move through life with
all the challenges they will face, like building resilience and
(11:50):
just being able to understand emotional intelligence.
Like that is the key, that is the foundation of everything. Like it
needs, to be also learning how like to think about what you
think about.
This came to me as like a visual too today.
And maybe it was for this part of the podcast specifically, but
I thought about it in terms of bees. I have a fear of bees.
It's like one of those fears where like in the summertime, because I know summer's
(12:12):
approaching, right. Like we're in spring now. And like, I'm the type
of person that won't even like step outside if I see
like bees like flying around, like my back deck.
I'm terrified of them because I've been swung once.
Because I'm the type of person that likes to swap my hands to like get them
away. I'll take a pillow, like I'll whack them all around because
I'm just, I'm terrified. And I
(12:33):
realize that our thoughts can be a lot like that.
>> Wendy Valentine (12:36):
Yeah.
>> Kristi Simons (12:36):
If we learn to just like let them pass and
not react like moving our
hands all about and trying to like essentially
control the situation, like they will just like they will just
be literally like a bee and they will just,
they won't sting you and then you won't have that hyper vigilance.
So it's really just about training ourselves and training like
(12:57):
our mind. So really truly my teen self
needed so much guidance in terms of her mindset and
just learning how to use that emotional power that she
had, for good in her life.
>> Wendy Valentine (13:08):
Yeah. And it's learning to respond
rather than react.
And and most importantly, being proactive
rather than reactive. Right. Always
getting ahead of whether it's, you know,
and I mean, I, when I think back,
my gosh, again, you know, with my teen
years, I mean, I was on my own since 15,
(13:31):
since I was 15 years old. And
I struggled. I was a very strong
woman. I would say woman, because I had to be a woman.
And then I was like, I had, you know, I was pregnant at the age of 19
and even, even though like
I, I started seeing a therapist when I was a
teenager for some reason I Had this insight and this
(13:52):
intuition, like, I need to see a therapist. I would
go to support groups, like, at night and stuff,
after school and after work and after school.
And, But I, I, I think back, like, how
much a coach. There's a difference,
right? There's a difference between a coach and therapist. And I feel like
whether it's as an adult or
(14:13):
especially as a teenager, sometimes a coach is
not as intimidating, if you will. And a
coach is going to literally coach
you through your life. Not
just. And I love therapy. I, again, like,
I'm pro therapy. I've been,
you know, seeing a therapist for decades.
(14:33):
But there is a difference.
So actually, what, what do you feel is the difference between
coach and therapy?
>> Kristi Simons (14:40):
I knew this question was coming, and the first thing that I
want to say is I just see it as like, such
a compliment. Like, they both complement one
another. And you're right. It's also like,
and they are so different
in the sense that there's just. Well, for me
personally, like, I can speak from my own experience and then also what
(15:00):
I see with my clients, but for me personally, because
I do have my own coach as well. I've been with her for three years.
It's, it's the community, it's the accountability,
it's the being able to check in and knowing that you
have almost like, what you did for me at the beginning of this
show when you just, like, you acted like my biggest fan,
the biggest cheerleader I've ever had. Like, that's
(15:20):
huge. It's all about that connection. Like, we talk
about reverse engineering how teens want to feel. And this is what I do
for myself on a daily basis too. Like, it's all about that. It's
about that feeling. Like, I feel so lit up to have this conversation with
you just because of how you set that energetic tone
for me.
>> Wendy Valentine (15:36):
It's so good.
>> Kristi Simons (15:36):
That is awesome. Just bringing that to,
like, the space for them, right? Like, we're not just talking or
having them kind of talk in circles about
what's going on with them. That's important too. And
it's really important to, like, for me,
in my own work, like, I move that energy.
I'm a Reiki master. I do energy healing with my
clients. I do guided self love
(15:59):
meditations. So really helping
them to look at those beliefs that they
have and then recognizing, like,
from those beliefs, like, the thoughts and the feelings are
being created and then that's what's creating their reality. So just
helping them to, like, hear a different language, essentially.
I Started saying, like, once I met my coach, I felt like I was
(16:19):
literally like, immersed in this space where
the language was different. Like, it felt like a language of self, love,
confidence and empowerment. And that wasn't one that I was used
to hearing before. It was a lot of fear, scarcity,
lack. Like, things don't ever work out for me. Things always go
wrong. and now it's just like
a flip has been switched because I'm so consistent with these
practices. And it's just, it's impossible not to
(16:42):
see possibility once you focus your energy and attention somewhere
else.
>> Wendy Valentine (16:46):
No, I love that you know what to
like when you think about those teen years,
how pivotal that is. And I think you mentioned something in the
beginning, like, the
trajectory of your
life would be so different. Like, think,
think. If, like, I mean, no joke. I mean,
it probably wasn't Until I was 50 years old two
(17:08):
years ago, no joke, that I literally
finally fell in love with me.
That I finally liked Wendy, and I love
Wendy. But. And
that took decades of
trying to unravel and
eliminate these limiting beliefs that were
(17:28):
just hanging on, you know, and
think that if a teenager would be able
to eliminate those limiting beliefs,
before they're 20 years old, like, my God,
like, think of how powerful
they're. They would be and how, how
amazing and extraordinary their life would be just
(17:50):
by them falling in love with themselves
as a teenager.
>> Kristi Simons (17:55):
Can I tell you something?
>> Wendy Valentine (17:57):
Please.
>> Kristi Simons (17:57):
Wild that you brought that up.
>> Wendy Valentine (17:59):
Yeah.
>> Kristi Simons (18:00):
I literally on a walk today
was having thoughts, as we all do. They
just flood in constantly. 60
plus thousand a day. And I noticed
something. And I've been noticing something more so recently. Like,
this has been definitely more present for me in the
last year, I would say. And it speaks to
(18:20):
exactly what you were saying. I had a thought today
and I typed it in my phone because I do keep like, just an
intuition kind of like, folder where I know my intuition
is speaking to me. And like, I heard, like the thought
said, like, I love myself. So I literally like, typed that
into my phone and I got super emotional because I was like, I.
I've never, like, I know I've never thought that before. I've never had that
(18:40):
thought before. Maybe when I was younger and I don't
remember, but definitely not when I was a teen and definitely not
like, moving through like my 20s. And even like, as I started my
journey as a mom. Yeah, there
was a lot more shame there and a lot more guilt for the things,
that I hadn't yet forgiven myself for. And
so yeah, it was just really, really
special. And that's also the connection that I hope that they
(19:03):
can also connect with.
>> Wendy Valentine (19:06):
Yes. Yeah. And I think, God, I should
have looked this up before. And you. You might know this.
but isn't it like the. The human
brain of a teenager when,
like, male versus female, of
when it's fully developed? And that's like.
That's a huge part of that, too, because the brain is still
developing during those critical years,
(19:28):
and at the same time, it's trying to develop
you. You've got the influence of freaking social
media, friends,
bullies, you know,
family. Like, all of this is flooding into
this sponge
inside their. Their
innocent minds. And. And then all
(19:50):
of a sudden, next thing you know, it's almost like one of those things. It's like,
oh, years go by, like, you're in your 20s. You're like, holy.
Why. Why do I think this way how I like it?
You know? And if. If it's not addressed,
it does. It literally will. Like your.
Your teen year. I've had not thought about this until this morning.
Like, your teen years literally do,
(20:10):
like, pave the path for your future.
I mean, they can.
>> Kristi Simons (20:16):
Yeah. And to be
clear, like, I've given myself a ton of compassion for
this.
>> Wendy Valentine (20:23):
Yeah.
>> Kristi Simons (20:23):
My journey is what, like, it was
what it was. And, like, I'm here today, and
I'm able to use that as my story to speak
and bring awareness and also do work that,
like, I never thought I would be doing. I never saw myself leaving
teaching ever in a million years. I was there for over a
decade. Excuse me. Before, I
(20:43):
ended up taking the leap and just trusting myself.
but that was, like, a really huge decision. And it was a scary one, too.
Yeah. A really scary one to make. But I'm so grateful that I
did because I continue to learn so much about myself.
And it just. That's what it feels like to me. It
feels like for them. And I know that they kind of speak the
same truth that I've always spoken when I was a teen. And it's
(21:04):
probably why I'm. I still feel like that's where all of this is
coming from for me. Like, I wanted freedom. I wanted the freedom to
express, explore. I'm a very creative
soul. I can tell by nature. So, like, I just want to be
creating. I want to be free to do that. I want to be of service
to other people. I'm just. I love
tapping into other people's energy, like, connecting with them
and just. Yeah.
(21:27):
Bringing ideas to Life is like what's coming through right now. And
I can see that for them as well. Like, they just want to be able to explore.
They want, they want their independence. They want to be able to learn
and build that resilience. But it feels to
me for them that gets blocked a lot
of the time. Like their soul is
trying to learn and expand. Like they're at that
place where they're ready to do that for themselves. And we
(21:50):
just, like, we stop them, we block them, the
words around them. Like you said, there's so much that comes into
their field. And then if they don't have
those emotional intelligence skills, they just start,
you know, repeating all the things that they hear essentially,
and believing that that is true versus what is actually true and
what lights them up in the direction they actually want to go in and explore for
(22:10):
themselves.
>> Wendy Valentine (22:12):
Yeah, there's so many distractions. I mean, as
an adult, as for all of us, right?
Adults or, or teenage. But teenagers especially,
you know, I mean, it's. It's a very. Like, even if you had
an amazing teen life,
the. It's still weird. It's still just like
awkward. Like you're still trying to, you know, you're trying to
(22:32):
figure out and you know, like you're going to be out of your house
soon and living as an adult. And then it's like, it's
just like, oh, so strange, you know.
This popped my mind about, I had, I had posted a
reel a couple weeks ago, ended up going like
viral on Tick Tock, which was wild because Tick
Tocks, that's talk about awkward. But anyway,
(22:53):
talk is awkward. Anyways, I know
I just throw my stuff on there just for the hell of it, you know. And I'm
like, why is this thing so popular? It's like
27, 000 views or something crazy. But
anyways, all it was was the video of me. And I was
just talking direct to camera. Said
when I was. When I was a little
girl, kids used to make fun of my
(23:16):
laugh. And so I literally
would try to stop laughing out loud
because they were making fun of me. And so I thought, okay, my
laugh must really be bad. So I just started going, like
I would try, like laugh with my mouth closed. And
then I said, I had a teacher
in high school that
basically made fun of my speech. And she was
(23:39):
criticizing me in front of the class. I was standing up in class,
like doing a book report. She criticized me.
And then I became fearful of public
speaking. So I shut down my
voice, shut down my laugh. I shut down my voice.
And then in the real, I went on to say
that I had a boyfriend that
(23:59):
beat the. Out of me, and
I therefore stopped standing up for
myself. And, no, I
had stood up to him, and then he beat the shit out of me. And then
in my mind, that was okay. I
shouldn't stand up for myself, because this is what happens.
And you think about those three
(24:20):
critical moments
as a teenager and how
that affected me. My whole. I mean,
that thread stayed with me in my
20s. those. You think about this, too. It.
It also was my choice in my
relationships. Friends, I'm, in
(24:41):
air quotes here. Friends, you know, you think
are friends. And like, the people that I chose
in my life all stemmed
back from all of that. Some from that criticism
and then some. Right. But. But think
that if I had a
coach to, to speak
(25:02):
to, and I could, and, and this coach would tell me,
wendy, no, no, no, honey, you keep
laughing. You get back up there and
you. You say your speech. You do. You, like,
don't you ever shut down ever, ever, ever?
Because, I mean, that took me decades to unravel all that
crap. So I know for
(25:25):
a fact if I. If I. I see. I needed you back
then.
>> Kristi Simons (25:28):
If I had Christy,
I needed you too, for sure.
>> Wendy Valentine (25:35):
But, you know, like, think about that. I'm sure we all
have a moment.
>> Kristi Simons (25:39):
They're, like, energetic. They're energetic ties, too.
Yeah, energetically speaking. They like
that stuff. It creates, like, buildup. It creates
blockages until we're ready to, like, actually release and let it
go. So, yeah, it does almost make you feel
like you're, like, restricted, like you're tied up. And. And
honestly, for a lot of us, too, like, a lot of that will
go sub. Like, it will be subconscious. And we don't even realize
(26:01):
until we actually sit with ourselves and
we allow it the space to come up. As I said, I was just numbing
all of that because I didn't want to hear any of it back then. I also
didn't realize either. Like, I wouldn't have had the language to speak about
it the way I do now, but that was
essentially, like, come full circle. What I wanted to
highlight is that the external factors, too, like,
(26:21):
I wish she knew that you're never going to be able to
control any of that. The only thing that you can
control is yourself. And so once you tap
into that power, as I spoke of in the beginning,
like you do, you become unstoppable. Once you
understand how your mind, body, and soul are all
Connected how it all works. Your mental,
(26:41):
physical, emotional, and spiritual energy. Like, just making sure
that you're checking in with that. and it's not to say that you're going to have,
like, perfect days. There's no perfection here.
It's literally just progress. It's just progress and
coming back to this again and again. And by coming
back to this, I mean just like yourself. It's just you
are your greatest work. This is your
(27:01):
life, and you deserve to be able to show up for it in a way
that feels truly authentic and that helps you to feel truly
confident. And confidence comes from those four key areas.
And just, putting that and making that a priority for yourself.
>> Wendy Valentine (27:15):
One of the greatest ways I overcame divorce,
disease, and depression was by changing my
mind. Literally changing my
thoughts, changed my life. That's why I
created the Freedom Meditations. So you,
too, can change your life. If
you're feeling stuck in your thoughts, overwhelmed by
life's challenges, unsure of the next chapter,
(27:38):
or disconnected from your true self, the
Freedom Meditations are for you.
These meditations, rooted in my
exclusive Freedom Framework, are designed to
help you achieve inner peace, empowerment,
and clarity. And the best part,
each meditation is only 15 minutes.
Just 15 minutes a day to change your life.
(28:01):
The Freedom Meditations are available now
for an introductory price of just
$29. Head to,
freedommeditations.com to
grab your set and start your transformation.
So I'm curious, with your podcast,
is it mostly, is it the moms that
are listening or is it the teens that are listening or both?
>> Kristi Simons (28:23):
Yeah, it's definitely the moms, which is maybe where, like, the
name change came from, because it was formerly confident teen. And
then recently I was. Yeah,
I was just in a meditative session, and
it came through, like, very strongly that it was time for a change.
So I changed it to Intuition for Women and Teens,
because it really is the moms, like, the soul led, ambitious
(28:44):
women who are raising teens that I connect with.
And it's the teens that end up usually having,
like, a lot of resistance, too, to stepping outside
of their comfort zone and, you know, embracing this
new language. Right. When you get so comfortable hearing and doing
things a certain way. but
it's fascinating to me, like, once they do the shifts
(29:05):
over time that you're able to witness, actually, I should
say that they are able to witness. Like, it's
profound. And it comes back to those beliefs, like, believing that they
are not enough, believing that people are judging them,
that they, like, won't be essentially accepted for who
they are, is what comes back so often and then
it shifts not
(29:25):
to, like, oh, people are starting to accept me now. It's like I'm
starting to accept myself. And I realize the more that I do
that, the more I'm going to connect with people that are actually
aligned, with me that are, you know, meant to be.
>> Wendy Valentine (29:41):
You think, too, that it's, you know,
the. The stronger we become as
women, then we raise
stronger sons and daughters, and
then, therefore, they become strong, and then they,
you know, it's like this beautiful ripple effect.
>> Kristi Simons (29:58):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. As I spoke of in the
beginning, the community being in that environment,
like hiring my own coach that is,
and her name is Heather Chauvin, by the way. I don't know if you know her, if you don't.
>> Wendy Valentine (30:11):
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, that's right. That's how we got connected.
Yes, yes.
>> Kristi Simons (30:16):
So that just came. Yeah, I wanted to make sure I highlighted that as
well. But she has significantly
impacted my life. Back when I had
my son was when
I really hit a rock bottom. I.
And I see it as a rock bottom only because, like, the decision
I made then, there was so much shame and so much guilt that I
(30:37):
had to move through, but I essentially chose to stop
breastfeeding so that I could just get back to drinking. And then with
my daughter, I had the realization and was like, oh, my
gosh, what am I doing? and so
I just had to move through that, really release that, and
let that go. And that's when I found her.
And she really helped me to, like, hear all of
(30:57):
those thoughts and then to tap into love
versus all the fear and the shame and everything that was coming up.
Like, she taught me how to move through that. And,
yeah, she has just had a profound impact on my life. It's
obviously the reason, too, that I left teaching and that I'm doing the work
I do today. And it just kind of grew organically. It started
with tutoring, then I was kind of doing, like, life
coaching, just life skills. And then it moved into emotional
(31:20):
intelligence. And now it feels more like
spiritual life coach, and just
attracting that are soul led. So it's very, very cool.
>> Wendy Valentine (31:30):
Yeah, it's. It's an awesome, awesome niche
to be in. It really can make a
huge. Well, you already are. You are making a huge
difference in the world. Yeah.
the reverse engineering, the emotions. Tell us
about that.
>> Kristi Simons (31:47):
Yeah, so this is. Well, as a former
teacher, I feel like there are a lot of things, again, that
I can bring from teaching into the work that I do now.
And one thing that we were always taught to
highlight was reverse engineering, like, a concept,
an expectation that we had for our students. And so I see
it the same way now. It's just at the
end of the day. And we spoke about this just in conversation with, like,
(32:10):
where you're at, like, how you travel and you're doing your book tour
and your work the way you're doing it. And it was just
having this realization that it's like, oh, my gosh. Yeah.
When it comes down to all of the things that you have,
why do you have them? Like, why do we need all of these
things? And realizing that at the end of the day, everything
comes back to how you want to feel. And
(32:32):
feelings, to me, like, emotions and emotion is just the
E for emotion stands for energy in motion. So it's just energy in
motion. It's chemicals in our body that are
creating signals, and that's literally what
we are after. Like, this is where emotional
intelligence, all of this stuff all ties in. It's
really about reverse engineering how you want to feel. So this is something
(32:52):
that I have been doing for myself on a daily basis. And this
is what brings me, or has brought me closer
and closer and continues to. To my authenticity and to things that
I love and feeling my absolute best. And
slowly shedding the worries and the doubts
and all the judgments that I'm perceiving, too, and the comparisons
that are coming up and all that stuff, right? Feeling like I'm not fitting
(33:13):
in, even though I'm just. I'm starting to be
more like me. And that's, like, that's how it should be.
I once had this visual of, like, all people
just being, like, every single possible, like, color
of the rainbow. And, like, if everybody was just, like, one
blue or we were all, like, blue but a bunch of shades of blue, like, it
wouldn't be as beautiful as it is if everybody
(33:34):
just shines their light in their own way. and so
that is essentially reverse engineering how you want to feel.
It's writing out, like, brain
dumping a list of things that are, like, on your heart.
So really taking that time to connect with yourself
and then pulling out the feelings those are. This is where you, like,
you ask yourself the questions like, how would this make me feel if I
(33:55):
do this? And then recognizing that if there are like. Like,
bigger goals that you have for yourself, bigger visions or dreams that
you have, you can still go after that
feeling just by putting small habits on your calendar. And then
you're starting to shift yourself into.
Because that version of you that wants that vision that you have.
Like she is feeling or he is feeling this way
(34:15):
about it. So you have to align yourself energetically with the feeling
in order to get there, in order to receive
all of the like next steps
that will guide you towards that path
there.
>> Wendy Valentine (34:28):
Have you read And I love the whole reverse engineering
concept. I mean I, I talk about that like with, you know, this is
how I, why I'm at where I'm at
right now. Because I reverse engineer this dream of
mine, right?
>> Kristi Simons (34:40):
Of it kind of feels like manifesting to me.
Like that's kind of what just came through. But I don't even call it
manifesting. Like I just call it trusting myself. Like it's
just trusting myself and trusting the feeling.
Like you making me feel like a dance party. I'm like,
I want to follow you. I'm gonna be all up in all your stuff
forever now just because of your energy.
>> Wendy Valentine (35:00):
Dance party.
>> Kristi Simons (35:02):
I'm gonna take a bite of my hair really quick.
>> Wendy Valentine (35:03):
Take a bite of your pair.
So there's there's a book called.
Oh my gosh, why can't I remember the name of it?
It's by David Hawkins. He is actually from. He
was incident. I think he's passed away but an amazing
author. And he talked about
emotions and how. So there's 19
basic emotions that we all have as a human being
(35:26):
and that each emotion has an
energy, has a vibration as a
frequency, right. Just like the
frequency of anything of electricity. Right.
And he. I don't know how in the world
but how he did this but did some type of project
where he was able to measure
the frequencies of all the different emotions. Whether
(35:49):
you know, gratitude being the highest and I
think the lowest is like depression, right.
And if you think about it too like the, the frequencies of
that. If like we're like woohoo. Excited
like you're literally. The energy
wave is super fast when you're,
you're feeling gratitude or joy or
(36:09):
happiness, right? Like the energy wave is literally
running super fast. And then when you're
depressed or you're feeling jealousy or
grief or anger, it's very,
very slow. Which makes sense, right?
Because when we're sad or depressed,
we're you know, we are slow, our bodies
(36:30):
are slow, our minds are slow. Like everything is.
But when we're excited, we're feeling gratitude,
we're like literally radiating. Our
energy is radiating. And what
I've that when I read that book,
I'll think of the name of it. Anyways, I read
that book and one of like, the darkest nights of my
(36:51):
soul, and it clicked for
me. I was like, oh, shit.
I literally have control over my emotions.
You know what I mean? I was like, oh, okay, this
feels like. Like, what does depression feel like? When I
was obviously very depressed, I was like, I'm slow, I'm
sluggish. My, my, my. I'm,
radiating just Bl. Right. Like,
(37:14):
and we've all experienced that. Like, someone walks into a
room, they either light up the room,
totally dim it down. Right.
So we know what that feels like. We
all do. Like, okay, what does joy feel like? Oh, it feels
like this. And you can work
your way up that ladder
(37:36):
of higher emotions at the
same time. One thing I did realize also with this. Another
aha. Was it's okay to.
To feel grief, it's okay to feel anger. It's
okay. Like, all of these. Again, we're human beings being
human, we're built with all of these
emotions. Use those emotions, learn from
those emotions, knowing that
(37:59):
they can shift, you can move them. Like you have the
power to move those emotions and.
Because, Right. Like, I mean, of course, like when my brother
died, for example, I'm. I'm not going to be like, I need to feel
gratitude and be at a high energy, you know,
like, no, I give myself
permission to be on the bottom here and
feeling like, absolute. And I'm going to cry.
(38:21):
And, eventually you want to
move out of those states of low energy,
right? Because the longer you stay in those
lower energies, then it does affect
you. Right. Physically and mentally,
spiritually, emotionally, all of that.
So I. Yeah, I just wanted to share that. That was
(38:42):
probably a big eye opener for me.
And, going back to my.
To.
To teen, you know, the teen. The topic of
teens, if. If a
teenager knows that it's okay to have
anger, it's okay to be sad, it's okay
to end that, knowing that,
control their emotions and have that emotional
(39:03):
intelligence.
>> Kristi Simons (39:04):
Well, and that's the resilience piece, right? Because we all get to those
places. I look at it too. Like, it makes me feel,
like, dense. Like, I. I can even see this in other
people. Like, whether it's like a lot of like, density versus, like, they have
capacity to receive you and to be able
to actually connect. So the same goes for your
teen. And everybody is intuitive. Everybody knows.
(39:25):
Right. Like, you can tell if they are closed off
versus if they are like, open and ready to receive
you. It's. They make it very obvious. and
so, yeah, it's just about understanding that
we don't have to get stuck there, but that all of the feelings are
so important because they're happening for us. There is something
in all of them that if we actually took time to
look at that, it would help us learn so much
(39:48):
about ourselves. And that's really the whole point. And it doesn't
mean that for every single thing that comes up, you need to
sit pen and paper and, and figure everything out. It
doesn't have to be like that. It's just again, intuitively just
following like what feels good to you and then just aligning
yourself, like making sure that you reverse engineer to get back to where you
want to be once you're ready.
>> Wendy Valentine (40:08):
Yeah. Just the awareness, being conscious
of m. What you're saying and. Yeah,
like really? And I don't know, like, I think
too is like as we get older, we do
have a tendency to shut out that
intuition. And as teens, it still
can be very, very strong because then like when
(40:30):
you get out into the, to the world and you're working and
you're raising kids, you're like, wait, what intuition?
You know? So for teens
though, it is actually easier. They don't have
as. Even though it's not to say it's not hard being a
teenager, that it can be very hard. But
they also have more,
(40:50):
moments, I think of stillness than,
than we do as adults.
>> Kristi Simons (40:56):
Yeah. Well, I once heard it described too by
a teen. She said that
one of the most challenging parts is that like those thoughts
that I spoke of earlier, like when they come through and they're very
like fear based. If they,
like, if they grab hold of those, it almost feels like an
undertow that starts to like, pull you down. Type,
of like visual is like what she brought up. It's just like. And then
(41:19):
it's like once you, once you start kind of
down that rabbit hole of thinking all those thoughts, it's just like
it's never ending essentially. and so it's
becoming aware and like, how do you. Yeah.
Break that cycle for yourself? So, yeah, definitely having
the awareness is how you do it. And just
practicing growing that muscle.
>> Wendy Valentine (41:38):
Yeah. And even starting to, to I always say, like,
sometimes we don't really need to learn anything new. It's the
unlearning. It's the unlearning of what's
not working for you, what's not in
alignment with you. And if I had known that as
a teenager to unlearn some of the things that had
been taught to me just like you said earlier, you
(41:59):
know, they like, our parents were
doing the best that they could with what they were taught.
Right?
>> Kristi Simons (42:05):
Yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (42:06):
So, and it's, it's not really like, blaming or
being upset at them. Like, I can't believe, you know,
or, you know, even to be upset at the teacher that said that to me
that day. Like, well, she obviously
was doing what she had been taught, which is not very good.
But I forgive all of that. Right. We all
should forget. We don't have to. But forgive
where you can and be able to move
(42:29):
on from and learn from it and go, okay, I can rise above
this.
>> Kristi Simons (42:33):
That's the other beautiful part about like
making progress and just creating progress on a daily
basis is you'll also start to notice that like your
shift or your perspective not
only shifts like within, it also shifts
without. And so you start to see people,
yourself included, through like, a different lens. And it
(42:53):
is definitely more loving.
And again, you just continue working the muscle
and it just continues to get stronger and stronger. And then you're able
to tap into your own
feelings and also other people's. Like, you can really start to
connect with that because your walls aren't up anymore. And it makes
life so much easier. It really,
(43:13):
truly does.
>> Wendy Valentine (43:14):
I know, I know it is. I had
a experience the other day where it was
like something that were like, the old Wendy
would have been so worked up. Like, I would have been so
annoyed. I wouldn't, oh my gosh. But
now I was just like, whatever,
you just let it go. Because I'm like, like you said
(43:36):
earlier, but like, what can you control? I, can control
me. Right? So it's like, how can I
control these emotions internally and just
let them Again, as you said, it's like energy in
motion. Right. Just let it flow, let it
flow and let it go. So
you have, you have the podcast. You do,
(43:56):
ah, one on one coaching?
>> Kristi Simons (43:59):
I have a group coaching, ah, program for teens
that happens on Sundays. And we literally do like four
Sundays of the month. It's mental, physical, emotional,
spiritual energy. And then it just rotates monthly,
rinsing and repeating the same process over and
over again because we don't need to complicate things.
And just the community connection. Right. Is, as I
said, probably like the highlight, just being able to connect with other
(44:21):
souls who are navigating the same challenges
and wanting to just hear a different language. So that's the,
teen soul group that happens on Sundays. And then throughout the
week I do soul readings and
Reiki energy healing and meditations for soul led
women, just looking to move through their own energetic
blocks and wanting more clarity and more connection
(44:42):
with themselves so they can connect with others. I also
do offer, if it ever feels
aligned, like, I do connect with loved ones on the other side as well.
So that is something that has been coming through a lot in the readings
that I do. So that's been really, really fun.
>> Wendy Valentine (44:56):
Wow, that's so cool.
>> Kristi Simons (44:58):
Some of the way. Some of the ways that I work with people.
>> Wendy Valentine (45:00):
That is amazing. I love it. Wow. You were. I'm
so glad you took the leap.
>> Kristi Simons (45:06):
Thank you.
>> Wendy Valentine (45:07):
Yeah.
>> Kristi Simons (45:07):
You know what?
>> Wendy Valentine (45:08):
That.
>> Kristi Simons (45:08):
That means so much because I actually did have a
client, just on the weekend, and
it's somebody who came to me, and she wanted to book this
as a birthday gift for herself. And she
told me, too, that, like, she kind of hesitated, but then she was like, no. Like,
I just. I felt really excited. Like, so I followed that pull.
And so I remember asking her at the beginning, because I
(45:29):
go through, like, my whole spiel before a soul reading, and I asked her, like,
if. And I felt like I needed to ask her. I'm like,
if there's somebody who wants to come through from the other
side, like, are you open to that? Because I just want to respect people's
boundaries too. And she kind of gave me this answer,
like, I don't. Like, I. I don't want to get my hopes up, essentially, because I
don't feel like anybody will. And I was like, okay,
(45:49):
that's confirmation enough. Like, her brother showed up. She
lost him when she was actually a teenager. He passed away
at 8 years old. And, yeah, it
was just. It was so profound for her, like,
once he came through and just, like, she was able to connect with him,
like, not only, like. Like, feeling wise, like,
physically, but also emotionally. And then she was almost,
(46:10):
like, being led in the session to, like, intuitively answer some
things for herself. And, yeah, he just sent her so
many beautiful signs, and it was just so cool to be able to be a part of
that.
So, I mean, I love my soul group. I love teaching emotional
intelligence, but really, truly, like, these are the gifts that have opened up
for me in the last little while. And again,
never could have ever expected this coming.
(46:31):
but, yeah, it's just. It's so incredible to be able to do this work
and to connect with other people's energy in that way and to be able to, like,
share in that connection with, like, their loved ones is
just. It's magic.
>> Wendy Valentine (46:42):
Ah. that is so awesome. I love that.
>> Kristi Simons (46:45):
Yeah, you know, thank you.
>> Wendy Valentine (46:47):
Being here in Sedona, this is. There's a lot of.
You need to come here. This is where it's at.
>> Kristi Simons (46:54):
I know. I'm selling everything. I'm buying myself an rv
and I'll meet you out there.
>> Wendy Valentine (46:59):
Oh, my God, that'd be so cool. Thank you so much. And
where can we find you?
>> Kristi Simons (47:04):
yeah, so probably most active, check out
the podcast Intuition for women and Teens. I would say, it's
available anywhere you listen to your podcast. And
I'm on Instagram. I share daily
messages. and yeah, you can send me a private message there.
I love connecting with people. I will answer you.
And, it's Christy Simons S I M M O
(47:24):
N S coaching. I was about to say dot com.
That's my website. But, yeah, no dot com for the Instagram.
>> Wendy Valentine (47:31):
Christysimonscoaching.com for your website.
Thank you so much. You're awesome.
>> Kristi Simons (47:36):
Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate you.
>> Wendy Valentine (47:39):
Everyone. Have a great day. Thank you.
Did this podcast inspire you? Challenge you?
Trigger you to make a change or spit out your coffee
laughing? Good. Then there are three ways you can
thank me. Number one, you can leave a written review
of this podcast on Apple iTunes. Number
two, you can take a screenshot of the episode
(48:01):
and share it on the social media and tag me
Wendy Valentine. Number three, share
it with another midlifer that needs a makeover. You
know who I'm talking about. Thank you so much for
listening to the show. Get out there and be bold.
Be free. Be you,
(48:28):
Sam.
That's the other beautiful part about like making
progress and just creating progress on a daily basis
is you'll also start to notice that like your shift
or your perspective not only shifts
like within, it also shifts without.
And so you start to see people, yourself
included, through like a, different lens. And it is
(00:20):
definitely more loving. And
again, you just continue working the muscle and it just
continues to get stronger and stronger. And then you're able to tap
into your own feelings
and also other people's. Like, you can really start to connect with
that because your walls aren't up anymore. And it makes life
so much easier. It really, truly does.
>> Wendy Valentine (00:42):
Hey there, beautiful. I'm Wendy Valentine, your host
of the Midlife Makeover show, where it's never too
late to wake up to your best life. Whether you're
navigating a career change, empty nesting,
menopause, or wondering what's next, you're in
the right place. Every week, I'll bring you real
talk, laughs and inspiring conversations
(01:02):
with experts and academ extraordinary women who have
transformed their lives from self care and
relationships to starting over and finding freedom.
This is your time to reinvent,
rediscover and reignite the woman you were
always meant to be. So hit that subscribe
button and let's rewrite the rules of midlife.
Your new adventure starts now.
(01:35):
You know, when I hit my mid-40s, everything
felt like it was literally falling apart.
Divorce, debt, illness, grief.
I had no job, no direction, and
honestly, no idea who I was anymore.
So one day I walked into a Barnes and Noble
hoping to find a book that could pull me out of the
(01:56):
trenches. A guide, a light, something,
anything to help me make sense
of what I was going through. But I searched
those shelves from top to bottom and came up
empty. And yes, sure, I had
read all the self help books to help myself,
but I wasn't looking for another how to be
(02:18):
happy book. I wanted a book
that could talk to me. A,
midlife woman with an empty nest, an
empty bank account, and an emptiness
inside she couldn't explain.
There was nothing for the woman who
wanted to reinvent, rediscover
and rise. So
(02:40):
I made a vow to myself right then and there,
if I couldn't find the book I needed, I would
write it. And that's how Women
Waking up the Midlife Manifesto for
Passion, Purpose and Play was born.
This book is part memoir, part guidebook,
and 100% midlife empowerment.
(03:01):
It's packed with stories, tools, and a
seven step method I use to rebuild my
life from the ground up. I wrote it
for the woman who's feeling stuck. For the woman who's
ready to break free but doesn't know how
to. For the woman who's quietly wondering, is.
This really all there is?
(03:22):
This isn't just a book. It's a movement.
And you can be part of it. It's called
the Women Waking Up Team and there
are just eight days left to join.
Here's how it works. Instead of waiting until
the book comes out in September, you'll get an
advanced PDF copy of Women Waking
(03:42):
up in July. That's right, you
get to read it before anyone else in the whole
wide world. Then, on launch
day, September 9th, you'll post a review on
Amazon. That review helps other
women find the book, feel seen,
and know they're not alone.
Because your voice matters. Your review
(04:05):
matters. And the more voices we have, the more
lives we can touch. And yes,
you'll also receive over
$1,000 in bonuses.
But more than that, you'll be part of
something meaningful. This is your
chance to help wake up the world one
woman at a time. So here's what you do.
(04:28):
Number one, pre order women waking up
on Amazon. Number two, go
to wakeupteam.com that is
wakeupteam.com and sign
up by June 18th. Number
three, get your advanced copy in July.
Number four, read women waking up
(04:49):
before it even hits the shelves. And
number five, leave your Amazon review on
launch day, September 9th. And if
you already pre ordered the book, first of all, thank
you. Second of all, you can still join the
team and get early access. Just
head towake up team.com.
(05:09):
i'm so grateful for you. This is the
book I needed and now it's
yours. Let's wake up the world together.
Now let's dive into today's show.
Welcome back to the Midlife Makeover Show. Today's
guest is not only a passionate coach
and former educator, but also a
(05:30):
fierce advocate for our next generation.
Woohoo. Christy Simons is a
teen life coach who's made it her mission to
teach teenagers what she wishes she had
known at her age. Practical tools,
emotional awareness and the confidence to
trust themselves and take brave action.
As a former teacher and a mom to two amazing
(05:52):
kids, Listen to these names. They are adorable.
Hendrix and Beatrix, both with
exes. I love it. Christie brings both heart
and real world experience to every everything
she does. In this episode, we'll chat about
how confidence is more than just a feeling.
It's something we do. word.
Christy will share how she helps teens Reverse
(06:14):
engineer how they want to feel, why taking action
is the ultimate confidence builder. I totally agree.
And how parents can support their teens
without fixing everything for them.
This conversation is empowering, heartfelt,
and packed with wisdom for anyone
raising, mentoring, or being a
teenager.
(06:35):
Please welcome Christy to the show.
>> Kristi Simons (06:40):
Oh, my gosh, I'm smiling so big right now. That was
incredible. I literally felt I was seeing in my mind, like, you know,
before, like, a football game, when they all come, like, running through the
smoke, and there's the lights and the music and the. The
mascot. You feel like the mascot on the show right now. I
appreciate you, and I appreciate all of that. That
was incredible. Well, confetti, I've never been
(07:00):
introduced.
>> Wendy Valentine (07:03):
What's funny, you know, I. I used to, I used to
record these separately. Like, I would just
record them afterwards or whatever, and then I'd have the editor
attach it, you know, and then I was being
interviewed by someone, and she did that, and I was
like, damn. I kind of like that. I was like, you know,
like, little boost, you know, for the guests. And they're like,
(07:23):
damn, who's she talking about?
so, yeah, I love it, too. Kind of like brings the energy
instead of just like all of a sudden going, and here we are,
you know?
>> Kristi Simons (07:35):
And, I mean, it truly is such a gift, though. I do want to thank you
for having me. I was thinking about this earlier,
and what came through for me, too, was just that every time I get
to have a conversation like this, it's almost as if.
Almost bridges, like, this gap for me in my memory. So there
are always things that will come to surface that I am
needing to hear. And then I feel like in turn, in these convers,
(07:57):
that same thing is happening for other people. So
meaningful conversations are just my absolute favorite thing. So. I
feel honored to be here with you.
>> Wendy Valentine (08:04):
Yeah, it's. I'm so honored to have you
here. And I shared with you earlier that
it's always my thing. Like, in the morning when I'm getting ready, I
think about my guest. Like, the guest, the. The interview
I'm going to be having. I think about my listener. Like, what do they
need to hear? And what can I ask that can really help
them, you know, and help you? And.
(08:25):
And I. I love this. First of all, you.
You are the very first teen coach
that I've ever had on the show. And you think
about. There's a lot of. A lot probably
midlifers out there that still have teens
at home or even shoot. I mean,
you could even have a, Teenager grandchild.
(08:46):
I mean, really. Right. So.
And it made me think
about teenager Wendy.
And I think that's we should all, whoever's listening
right now, think about who you were back
then. You know, like the who you were as a
teenager, what you struggled with,
(09:06):
what was easy, what was fun, what was
challenging. And I mean, those are
critical, critical years
of our lives. I'm curious, what were you
like as a teenager and what were some of your
struggles?
>> Kristi Simons (09:22):
Well, what I was just thinking about is that question I told you before that
I ask everybody that comes onto my podcast. It's if you could
speak to your team self, what would she need to hear? And
it's probably like my favorite thing. Like, I wish I could honestly take
clippets of all of those moments for all of the guests that have been on the
show and just like compile them, like put them all together. Because that's
truly where the value is. And our answer will change,
like on a day to day basis. For
(09:44):
me, it's really about understanding
back then that like, there was this power source
within that I could tap into. I was just
numbing myself to that. And it's because I didn't feel
accepted. And a lot of things were really
based on external factors. And
so had I learned to come
back, like within and really
(10:06):
reconnect with myself and my authenticity and the things that I
love just by asking myself simple questions on a daily basis
and then taking action in that direction, it
would have significantly changed the trajectory of my
life. So my teen self was really the
opposite of that. She was disconnected,
she was numbing constantly. She was
(10:26):
putting herself in, putting herself in situations with
people, that really did not serve her.
That caused a lot of shame
for me, like, especially as I moved into
adulthood, had my children and went on my
own healing journey, I started to recognize, like, when I
started doing this work and stepped away from teaching that my team years are
(10:47):
really the reason why I do this. Like, it's her voice that has been
trying to speak the loudest. It's her power that I'm
tapping into now because I never tapped into it back
then. And this is what is guiding the way that I teach
teams. moving forward.
>> Wendy Valentine (10:59):
What was your support like back then and your
guidance?
>> Kristi Simons (11:05):
Looking back and understanding what I
know now, my parents, my
teachers, everyone around me really,
they didn't understand what I also didn't understand.
And so to expect
them to teach me something that they didn't know themselves. This is why I
talk a lot on my podcast too, about Just how
(11:27):
teachers are doing their best. I was doing my best back when I was
in the classroom. But really, truly, when I look at, at
like the whole picture, they are really
missing a lot of the key foundational
skills that are really going to help our youth to
thrive as they get older, as they
explore, as they move through life with
all the challenges they will face, like building resilience and
(11:50):
just being able to understand emotional intelligence.
Like that is the key, that is the foundation of everything. Like it
needs, to be also learning how like to think about what you
think about.
This came to me as like a visual too today.
And maybe it was for this part of the podcast specifically, but
I thought about it in terms of bees. I have a fear of bees.
It's like one of those fears where like in the summertime, because I know summer's
(12:12):
approaching, right. Like we're in spring now. And like, I'm the type
of person that won't even like step outside if I see
like bees like flying around, like my back deck.
I'm terrified of them because I've been swung once.
Because I'm the type of person that likes to swap my hands to like get them
away. I'll take a pillow, like I'll whack them all around because
I'm just, I'm terrified. And I
(12:33):
realize that our thoughts can be a lot like that.
>> Wendy Valentine (12:36):
Yeah.
>> Kristi Simons (12:36):
If we learn to just like let them pass and
not react like moving our
hands all about and trying to like essentially
control the situation, like they will just like they will just
be literally like a bee and they will just,
they won't sting you and then you won't have that hyper vigilance.
So it's really just about training ourselves and training like
(12:57):
our mind. So really truly my teen self
needed so much guidance in terms of her mindset and
just learning how to use that emotional power that she
had, for good in her life.
>> Wendy Valentine (13:08):
Yeah. And it's learning to respond
rather than react.
And and most importantly, being proactive
rather than reactive. Right. Always
getting ahead of whether it's, you know,
and I mean, I, when I think back,
my gosh, again, you know, with my teen
years, I mean, I was on my own since 15,
(13:31):
since I was 15 years old. And
I struggled. I was a very strong
woman. I would say woman, because I had to be a woman.
And then I was like, I had, you know, I was pregnant at the age of 19
and even, even though like
I, I started seeing a therapist when I was a
teenager for some reason I Had this insight and this
(13:52):
intuition, like, I need to see a therapist. I would
go to support groups, like, at night and stuff,
after school and after work and after school.
And, But I, I, I think back, like, how
much a coach. There's a difference,
right? There's a difference between a coach and therapist. And I feel like
whether it's as an adult or
(14:13):
especially as a teenager, sometimes a coach is
not as intimidating, if you will. And a
coach is going to literally coach
you through your life. Not
just. And I love therapy. I, again, like,
I'm pro therapy. I've been,
you know, seeing a therapist for decades.
(14:33):
But there is a difference.
So actually, what, what do you feel is the difference between
coach and therapy?
>> Kristi Simons (14:40):
I knew this question was coming, and the first thing that I
want to say is I just see it as like, such
a compliment. Like, they both complement one
another. And you're right. It's also like,
and they are so different
in the sense that there's just. Well, for me
personally, like, I can speak from my own experience and then also what
(15:00):
I see with my clients, but for me personally, because
I do have my own coach as well. I've been with her for three years.
It's, it's the community, it's the accountability,
it's the being able to check in and knowing that you
have almost like, what you did for me at the beginning of this
show when you just, like, you acted like my biggest fan,
the biggest cheerleader I've ever had. Like, that's
(15:20):
huge. It's all about that connection. Like, we talk
about reverse engineering how teens want to feel. And this is what I do
for myself on a daily basis too. Like, it's all about that. It's
about that feeling. Like, I feel so lit up to have this conversation with
you just because of how you set that energetic tone
for me.
>> Wendy Valentine (15:36):
It's so good.
>> Kristi Simons (15:36):
That is awesome. Just bringing that to,
like, the space for them, right? Like, we're not just talking or
having them kind of talk in circles about
what's going on with them. That's important too. And
it's really important to, like, for me,
in my own work, like, I move that energy.
I'm a Reiki master. I do energy healing with my
clients. I do guided self love
(15:59):
meditations. So really helping
them to look at those beliefs that they
have and then recognizing, like,
from those beliefs, like, the thoughts and the feelings are
being created and then that's what's creating their reality. So just
helping them to, like, hear a different language, essentially.
I Started saying, like, once I met my coach, I felt like I was
(16:19):
literally like, immersed in this space where
the language was different. Like, it felt like a language of self, love,
confidence and empowerment. And that wasn't one that I was used
to hearing before. It was a lot of fear, scarcity,
lack. Like, things don't ever work out for me. Things always go
wrong. and now it's just like
a flip has been switched because I'm so consistent with these
practices. And it's just, it's impossible not to
(16:42):
see possibility once you focus your energy and attention somewhere
else.
>> Wendy Valentine (16:46):
No, I love that you know what to
like when you think about those teen years,
how pivotal that is. And I think you mentioned something in the
beginning, like, the
trajectory of your
life would be so different. Like, think,
think. If, like, I mean, no joke. I mean,
it probably wasn't Until I was 50 years old two
(17:08):
years ago, no joke, that I literally
finally fell in love with me.
That I finally liked Wendy, and I love
Wendy. But. And
that took decades of
trying to unravel and
eliminate these limiting beliefs that were
(17:28):
just hanging on, you know, and
think that if a teenager would be able
to eliminate those limiting beliefs,
before they're 20 years old, like, my God,
like, think of how powerful
they're. They would be and how, how
amazing and extraordinary their life would be just
(17:50):
by them falling in love with themselves
as a teenager.
>> Kristi Simons (17:55):
Can I tell you something?
>> Wendy Valentine (17:57):
Please.
>> Kristi Simons (17:57):
Wild that you brought that up.
>> Wendy Valentine (17:59):
Yeah.
>> Kristi Simons (18:00):
I literally on a walk today
was having thoughts, as we all do. They
just flood in constantly. 60
plus thousand a day. And I noticed
something. And I've been noticing something more so recently. Like,
this has been definitely more present for me in the
last year, I would say. And it speaks to
(18:20):
exactly what you were saying. I had a thought today
and I typed it in my phone because I do keep like, just an
intuition kind of like, folder where I know my intuition
is speaking to me. And like, I heard, like the thought
said, like, I love myself. So I literally like, typed that
into my phone and I got super emotional because I was like, I.
I've never, like, I know I've never thought that before. I've never had that
(18:40):
thought before. Maybe when I was younger and I don't
remember, but definitely not when I was a teen and definitely not
like, moving through like my 20s. And even like, as I started my
journey as a mom. Yeah, there
was a lot more shame there and a lot more guilt for the things,
that I hadn't yet forgiven myself for. And
so yeah, it was just really, really
special. And that's also the connection that I hope that they
(19:03):
can also connect with.
>> Wendy Valentine (19:06):
Yes. Yeah. And I think, God, I should
have looked this up before. And you. You might know this.
but isn't it like the. The human
brain of a teenager when,
like, male versus female, of
when it's fully developed? And that's like.
That's a huge part of that, too, because the brain is still
developing during those critical years,
(19:28):
and at the same time, it's trying to develop
you. You've got the influence of freaking social
media, friends,
bullies, you know,
family. Like, all of this is flooding into
this sponge
inside their. Their
innocent minds. And. And then all
(19:50):
of a sudden, next thing you know, it's almost like one of those things. It's like,
oh, years go by, like, you're in your 20s. You're like, holy.
Why. Why do I think this way how I like it?
You know? And if. If it's not addressed,
it does. It literally will. Like your.
Your teen year. I've had not thought about this until this morning.
Like, your teen years literally do,
(20:10):
like, pave the path for your future.
I mean, they can.
>> Kristi Simons (20:16):
Yeah. And to be
clear, like, I've given myself a ton of compassion for
this.
>> Wendy Valentine (20:23):
Yeah.
>> Kristi Simons (20:23):
My journey is what, like, it was
what it was. And, like, I'm here today, and
I'm able to use that as my story to speak
and bring awareness and also do work that,
like, I never thought I would be doing. I never saw myself leaving
teaching ever in a million years. I was there for over a
decade. Excuse me. Before, I
(20:43):
ended up taking the leap and just trusting myself.
but that was, like, a really huge decision. And it was a scary one, too.
Yeah. A really scary one to make. But I'm so grateful that I
did because I continue to learn so much about myself.
And it just. That's what it feels like to me. It
feels like for them. And I know that they kind of speak the
same truth that I've always spoken when I was a teen. And it's
(21:04):
probably why I'm. I still feel like that's where all of this is
coming from for me. Like, I wanted freedom. I wanted the freedom to
express, explore. I'm a very creative
soul. I can tell by nature. So, like, I just want to be
creating. I want to be free to do that. I want to be of service
to other people. I'm just. I love
tapping into other people's energy, like, connecting with them
and just. Yeah.
(21:27):
Bringing ideas to Life is like what's coming through right now. And
I can see that for them as well. Like, they just want to be able to explore.
They want, they want their independence. They want to be able to learn
and build that resilience. But it feels to
me for them that gets blocked a lot
of the time. Like their soul is
trying to learn and expand. Like they're at that
place where they're ready to do that for themselves. And we
(21:50):
just, like, we stop them, we block them, the
words around them. Like you said, there's so much that comes into
their field. And then if they don't have
those emotional intelligence skills, they just start,
you know, repeating all the things that they hear essentially,
and believing that that is true versus what is actually true and
what lights them up in the direction they actually want to go in and explore for
(22:10):
themselves.
>> Wendy Valentine (22:12):
Yeah, there's so many distractions. I mean, as
an adult, as for all of us, right?
Adults or, or teenage. But teenagers especially,
you know, I mean, it's. It's a very. Like, even if you had
an amazing teen life,
the. It's still weird. It's still just like
awkward. Like you're still trying to, you know, you're trying to
(22:32):
figure out and you know, like you're going to be out of your house
soon and living as an adult. And then it's like, it's
just like, oh, so strange, you know.
This popped my mind about, I had, I had posted a
reel a couple weeks ago, ended up going like
viral on Tick Tock, which was wild because Tick
Tocks, that's talk about awkward. But anyway,
(22:53):
talk is awkward. Anyways, I know
I just throw my stuff on there just for the hell of it, you know. And I'm
like, why is this thing so popular? It's like
27, 000 views or something crazy. But
anyways, all it was was the video of me. And I was
just talking direct to camera. Said
when I was. When I was a little
girl, kids used to make fun of my
(23:16):
laugh. And so I literally
would try to stop laughing out loud
because they were making fun of me. And so I thought, okay, my
laugh must really be bad. So I just started going, like
I would try, like laugh with my mouth closed. And
then I said, I had a teacher
in high school that
basically made fun of my speech. And she was
(23:39):
criticizing me in front of the class. I was standing up in class,
like doing a book report. She criticized me.
And then I became fearful of public
speaking. So I shut down my
voice, shut down my laugh. I shut down my voice.
And then in the real, I went on to say
that I had a boyfriend that
(23:59):
beat the. Out of me, and
I therefore stopped standing up for
myself. And, no, I
had stood up to him, and then he beat the shit out of me. And then
in my mind, that was okay. I
shouldn't stand up for myself, because this is what happens.
And you think about those three
(24:20):
critical moments
as a teenager and how
that affected me. My whole. I mean,
that thread stayed with me in my
20s. those. You think about this, too. It.
It also was my choice in my
relationships. Friends, I'm, in
(24:41):
air quotes here. Friends, you know, you think
are friends. And like, the people that I chose
in my life all stemmed
back from all of that. Some from that criticism
and then some. Right. But. But think
that if I had a
coach to, to speak
(25:02):
to, and I could, and, and this coach would tell me,
wendy, no, no, no, honey, you keep
laughing. You get back up there and
you. You say your speech. You do. You, like,
don't you ever shut down ever, ever, ever?
Because, I mean, that took me decades to unravel all that
crap. So I know for
(25:25):
a fact if I. If I. I see. I needed you back
then.
>> Kristi Simons (25:28):
If I had Christy,
I needed you too, for sure.
>> Wendy Valentine (25:35):
But, you know, like, think about that. I'm sure we all
have a moment.
>> Kristi Simons (25:39):
They're, like, energetic. They're energetic ties, too.
Yeah, energetically speaking. They like
that stuff. It creates, like, buildup. It creates
blockages until we're ready to, like, actually release and let it
go. So, yeah, it does almost make you feel
like you're, like, restricted, like you're tied up. And. And
honestly, for a lot of us, too, like, a lot of that will
go sub. Like, it will be subconscious. And we don't even realize
(26:01):
until we actually sit with ourselves and
we allow it the space to come up. As I said, I was just numbing
all of that because I didn't want to hear any of it back then. I also
didn't realize either. Like, I wouldn't have had the language to speak about
it the way I do now, but that was
essentially, like, come full circle. What I wanted to
highlight is that the external factors, too, like,
(26:21):
I wish she knew that you're never going to be able to
control any of that. The only thing that you can
control is yourself. And so once you tap
into that power, as I spoke of in the beginning,
like you do, you become unstoppable. Once you
understand how your mind, body, and soul are all
Connected how it all works. Your mental,
(26:41):
physical, emotional, and spiritual energy. Like, just making sure
that you're checking in with that. and it's not to say that you're going to have,
like, perfect days. There's no perfection here.
It's literally just progress. It's just progress and
coming back to this again and again. And by coming
back to this, I mean just like yourself. It's just you
are your greatest work. This is your
(27:01):
life, and you deserve to be able to show up for it in a way
that feels truly authentic and that helps you to feel truly
confident. And confidence comes from those four key areas.
And just, putting that and making that a priority for yourself.
>> Wendy Valentine (27:15):
One of the greatest ways I overcame divorce,
disease, and depression was by changing my
mind. Literally changing my
thoughts, changed my life. That's why I
created the Freedom Meditations. So you,
too, can change your life. If
you're feeling stuck in your thoughts, overwhelmed by
life's challenges, unsure of the next chapter,
(27:38):
or disconnected from your true self, the
Freedom Meditations are for you.
These meditations, rooted in my
exclusive Freedom Framework, are designed to
help you achieve inner peace, empowerment,
and clarity. And the best part,
each meditation is only 15 minutes.
Just 15 minutes a day to change your life.
(28:01):
The Freedom Meditations are available now
for an introductory price of just
$29. Head to,
freedommeditations.com to
grab your set and start your transformation.
So I'm curious, with your podcast,
is it mostly, is it the moms that
are listening or is it the teens that are listening or both?
>> Kristi Simons (28:23):
Yeah, it's definitely the moms, which is maybe where, like, the
name change came from, because it was formerly confident teen. And
then recently I was. Yeah,
I was just in a meditative session, and
it came through, like, very strongly that it was time for a change.
So I changed it to Intuition for Women and Teens,
because it really is the moms, like, the soul led, ambitious
(28:44):
women who are raising teens that I connect with.
And it's the teens that end up usually having,
like, a lot of resistance, too, to stepping outside
of their comfort zone and, you know, embracing this
new language. Right. When you get so comfortable hearing and doing
things a certain way. but
it's fascinating to me, like, once they do the shifts
(29:05):
over time that you're able to witness, actually, I should
say that they are able to witness. Like, it's
profound. And it comes back to those beliefs, like, believing that they
are not enough, believing that people are judging them,
that they, like, won't be essentially accepted for who
they are, is what comes back so often and then
it shifts not
(29:25):
to, like, oh, people are starting to accept me now. It's like I'm
starting to accept myself. And I realize the more that I do
that, the more I'm going to connect with people that are actually
aligned, with me that are, you know, meant to be.
>> Wendy Valentine (29:41):
You think, too, that it's, you know,
the. The stronger we become as
women, then we raise
stronger sons and daughters, and
then, therefore, they become strong, and then they,
you know, it's like this beautiful ripple effect.
>> Kristi Simons (29:58):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. As I spoke of in the
beginning, the community being in that environment,
like hiring my own coach that is,
and her name is Heather Chauvin, by the way. I don't know if you know her, if you don't.
>> Wendy Valentine (30:11):
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, that's right. That's how we got connected.
Yes, yes.
>> Kristi Simons (30:16):
So that just came. Yeah, I wanted to make sure I highlighted that as
well. But she has significantly
impacted my life. Back when I had
my son was when
I really hit a rock bottom. I.
And I see it as a rock bottom only because, like, the decision
I made then, there was so much shame and so much guilt that I
(30:37):
had to move through, but I essentially chose to stop
breastfeeding so that I could just get back to drinking. And then with
my daughter, I had the realization and was like, oh, my
gosh, what am I doing? and so
I just had to move through that, really release that, and
let that go. And that's when I found her.
And she really helped me to, like, hear all of
(30:57):
those thoughts and then to tap into love
versus all the fear and the shame and everything that was coming up.
Like, she taught me how to move through that. And,
yeah, she has just had a profound impact on my life. It's
obviously the reason, too, that I left teaching and that I'm doing the work
I do today. And it just kind of grew organically. It started
with tutoring, then I was kind of doing, like, life
coaching, just life skills. And then it moved into emotional
(31:20):
intelligence. And now it feels more like
spiritual life coach, and just
attracting that are soul led. So it's very, very cool.
>> Wendy Valentine (31:30):
Yeah, it's. It's an awesome, awesome niche
to be in. It really can make a
huge. Well, you already are. You are making a huge
difference in the world. Yeah.
the reverse engineering, the emotions. Tell us
about that.
>> Kristi Simons (31:47):
Yeah, so this is. Well, as a former
teacher, I feel like there are a lot of things, again, that
I can bring from teaching into the work that I do now.
And one thing that we were always taught to
highlight was reverse engineering, like, a concept,
an expectation that we had for our students. And so I see
it the same way now. It's just at the
end of the day. And we spoke about this just in conversation with, like,
(32:10):
where you're at, like, how you travel and you're doing your book tour
and your work the way you're doing it. And it was just
having this realization that it's like, oh, my gosh. Yeah.
When it comes down to all of the things that you have,
why do you have them? Like, why do we need all of these
things? And realizing that at the end of the day, everything
comes back to how you want to feel. And
(32:32):
feelings, to me, like, emotions and emotion is just the
E for emotion stands for energy in motion. So it's just energy in
motion. It's chemicals in our body that are
creating signals, and that's literally what
we are after. Like, this is where emotional
intelligence, all of this stuff all ties in. It's
really about reverse engineering how you want to feel. So this is something
(32:52):
that I have been doing for myself on a daily basis. And this
is what brings me, or has brought me closer
and closer and continues to. To my authenticity and to things that
I love and feeling my absolute best. And
slowly shedding the worries and the doubts
and all the judgments that I'm perceiving, too, and the comparisons
that are coming up and all that stuff, right? Feeling like I'm not fitting
(33:13):
in, even though I'm just. I'm starting to be
more like me. And that's, like, that's how it should be.
I once had this visual of, like, all people
just being, like, every single possible, like, color
of the rainbow. And, like, if everybody was just, like, one
blue or we were all, like, blue but a bunch of shades of blue, like, it
wouldn't be as beautiful as it is if everybody
(33:34):
just shines their light in their own way. and so
that is essentially reverse engineering how you want to feel.
It's writing out, like, brain
dumping a list of things that are, like, on your heart.
So really taking that time to connect with yourself
and then pulling out the feelings those are. This is where you, like,
you ask yourself the questions like, how would this make me feel if I
(33:55):
do this? And then recognizing that if there are like. Like,
bigger goals that you have for yourself, bigger visions or dreams that
you have, you can still go after that
feeling just by putting small habits on your calendar. And then
you're starting to shift yourself into.
Because that version of you that wants that vision that you have.
Like she is feeling or he is feeling this way
(34:15):
about it. So you have to align yourself energetically with the feeling
in order to get there, in order to receive
all of the like next steps
that will guide you towards that path
there.
>> Wendy Valentine (34:28):
Have you read And I love the whole reverse engineering
concept. I mean I, I talk about that like with, you know, this is
how I, why I'm at where I'm at
right now. Because I reverse engineer this dream of
mine, right?
>> Kristi Simons (34:40):
Of it kind of feels like manifesting to me.
Like that's kind of what just came through. But I don't even call it
manifesting. Like I just call it trusting myself. Like it's
just trusting myself and trusting the feeling.
Like you making me feel like a dance party. I'm like,
I want to follow you. I'm gonna be all up in all your stuff
forever now just because of your energy.
>> Wendy Valentine (35:00):
Dance party.
>> Kristi Simons (35:02):
I'm gonna take a bite of my hair really quick.
>> Wendy Valentine (35:03):
Take a bite of your pair.
So there's there's a book called.
Oh my gosh, why can't I remember the name of it?
It's by David Hawkins. He is actually from. He
was incident. I think he's passed away but an amazing
author. And he talked about
emotions and how. So there's 19
basic emotions that we all have as a human being
(35:26):
and that each emotion has an
energy, has a vibration as a
frequency, right. Just like the
frequency of anything of electricity. Right.
And he. I don't know how in the world
but how he did this but did some type of project
where he was able to measure
the frequencies of all the different emotions. Whether
(35:49):
you know, gratitude being the highest and I
think the lowest is like depression, right.
And if you think about it too like the, the frequencies of
that. If like we're like woohoo. Excited
like you're literally. The energy
wave is super fast when you're,
you're feeling gratitude or joy or
(36:09):
happiness, right? Like the energy wave is literally
running super fast. And then when you're
depressed or you're feeling jealousy or
grief or anger, it's very,
very slow. Which makes sense, right?
Because when we're sad or depressed,
we're you know, we are slow, our bodies
(36:30):
are slow, our minds are slow. Like everything is.
But when we're excited, we're feeling gratitude,
we're like literally radiating. Our
energy is radiating. And what
I've that when I read that book,
I'll think of the name of it. Anyways, I read
that book and one of like, the darkest nights of my
(36:51):
soul, and it clicked for
me. I was like, oh, shit.
I literally have control over my emotions.
You know what I mean? I was like, oh, okay, this
feels like. Like, what does depression feel like? When I
was obviously very depressed, I was like, I'm slow, I'm
sluggish. My, my, my. I'm,
radiating just Bl. Right. Like,
(37:14):
and we've all experienced that. Like, someone walks into a
room, they either light up the room,
totally dim it down. Right.
So we know what that feels like. We
all do. Like, okay, what does joy feel like? Oh, it feels
like this. And you can work
your way up that ladder
(37:36):
of higher emotions at the
same time. One thing I did realize also with this. Another
aha. Was it's okay to.
To feel grief, it's okay to feel anger. It's
okay. Like, all of these. Again, we're human beings being
human, we're built with all of these
emotions. Use those emotions, learn from
those emotions, knowing that
(37:59):
they can shift, you can move them. Like you have the
power to move those emotions and.
Because, Right. Like, I mean, of course, like when my brother
died, for example, I'm. I'm not going to be like, I need to feel
gratitude and be at a high energy, you know,
like, no, I give myself
permission to be on the bottom here and
feeling like, absolute. And I'm going to cry.
(38:21):
And, eventually you want to
move out of those states of low energy,
right? Because the longer you stay in those
lower energies, then it does affect
you. Right. Physically and mentally,
spiritually, emotionally, all of that.
So I. Yeah, I just wanted to share that. That was
(38:42):
probably a big eye opener for me.
And, going back to my.
To.
To teen, you know, the teen. The topic of
teens, if. If a
teenager knows that it's okay to have
anger, it's okay to be sad, it's okay
to end that, knowing that,
control their emotions and have that emotional
(39:03):
intelligence.
>> Kristi Simons (39:04):
Well, and that's the resilience piece, right? Because we all get to those
places. I look at it too. Like, it makes me feel,
like, dense. Like, I. I can even see this in other
people. Like, whether it's like a lot of like, density versus, like, they have
capacity to receive you and to be able
to actually connect. So the same goes for your
teen. And everybody is intuitive. Everybody knows.
(39:25):
Right. Like, you can tell if they are closed off
versus if they are like, open and ready to receive
you. It's. They make it very obvious. and
so, yeah, it's just about understanding that
we don't have to get stuck there, but that all of the feelings are
so important because they're happening for us. There is something
in all of them that if we actually took time to
look at that, it would help us learn so much
(39:48):
about ourselves. And that's really the whole point. And it doesn't
mean that for every single thing that comes up, you need to
sit pen and paper and, and figure everything out. It
doesn't have to be like that. It's just again, intuitively just
following like what feels good to you and then just aligning
yourself, like making sure that you reverse engineer to get back to where you
want to be once you're ready.
>> Wendy Valentine (40:08):
Yeah. Just the awareness, being conscious
of m. What you're saying and. Yeah,
like really? And I don't know, like, I think
too is like as we get older, we do
have a tendency to shut out that
intuition. And as teens, it still
can be very, very strong because then like when
(40:30):
you get out into the, to the world and you're working and
you're raising kids, you're like, wait, what intuition?
You know? So for teens
though, it is actually easier. They don't have
as. Even though it's not to say it's not hard being a
teenager, that it can be very hard. But
they also have more,
(40:50):
moments, I think of stillness than,
than we do as adults.
>> Kristi Simons (40:56):
Yeah. Well, I once heard it described too by
a teen. She said that
one of the most challenging parts is that like those thoughts
that I spoke of earlier, like when they come through and they're very
like fear based. If they,
like, if they grab hold of those, it almost feels like an
undertow that starts to like, pull you down. Type,
of like visual is like what she brought up. It's just like. And then
(41:19):
it's like once you, once you start kind of
down that rabbit hole of thinking all those thoughts, it's just like
it's never ending essentially. and so it's
becoming aware and like, how do you. Yeah.
Break that cycle for yourself? So, yeah, definitely having
the awareness is how you do it. And just
practicing growing that muscle.
>> Wendy Valentine (41:38):
Yeah. And even starting to, to I always say, like,
sometimes we don't really need to learn anything new. It's the
unlearning. It's the unlearning of what's
not working for you, what's not in
alignment with you. And if I had known that as
a teenager to unlearn some of the things that had
been taught to me just like you said earlier, you
(41:59):
know, they like, our parents were
doing the best that they could with what they were taught.
Right?
>> Kristi Simons (42:05):
Yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (42:06):
So, and it's, it's not really like, blaming or
being upset at them. Like, I can't believe, you know,
or, you know, even to be upset at the teacher that said that to me
that day. Like, well, she obviously
was doing what she had been taught, which is not very good.
But I forgive all of that. Right. We all
should forget. We don't have to. But forgive
where you can and be able to move
(42:29):
on from and learn from it and go, okay, I can rise above
this.
>> Kristi Simons (42:33):
That's the other beautiful part about like
making progress and just creating progress on a daily
basis is you'll also start to notice that like your
shift or your perspective not
only shifts like within, it also shifts
without. And so you start to see people,
yourself included, through like, a different lens. And it
(42:53):
is definitely more loving.
And again, you just continue working the muscle
and it just continues to get stronger and stronger. And then you're able
to tap into your own
feelings and also other people's. Like, you can really start to
connect with that because your walls aren't up anymore. And it makes
life so much easier. It really,
(43:13):
truly does.
>> Wendy Valentine (43:14):
I know, I know it is. I had
a experience the other day where it was
like something that were like, the old Wendy
would have been so worked up. Like, I would have been so
annoyed. I wouldn't, oh my gosh. But
now I was just like, whatever,
you just let it go. Because I'm like, like you said
(43:36):
earlier, but like, what can you control? I, can control
me. Right? So it's like, how can I
control these emotions internally and just
let them Again, as you said, it's like energy in
motion. Right. Just let it flow, let it
flow and let it go. So
you have, you have the podcast. You do,
(43:56):
ah, one on one coaching?
>> Kristi Simons (43:59):
I have a group coaching, ah, program for teens
that happens on Sundays. And we literally do like four
Sundays of the month. It's mental, physical, emotional,
spiritual energy. And then it just rotates monthly,
rinsing and repeating the same process over and
over again because we don't need to complicate things.
And just the community connection. Right. Is, as I
said, probably like the highlight, just being able to connect with other
(44:21):
souls who are navigating the same challenges
and wanting to just hear a different language. So that's the,
teen soul group that happens on Sundays. And then throughout the
week I do soul readings and
Reiki energy healing and meditations for soul led
women, just looking to move through their own energetic
blocks and wanting more clarity and more connection
(44:42):
with themselves so they can connect with others. I also
do offer, if it ever feels
aligned, like, I do connect with loved ones on the other side as well.
So that is something that has been coming through a lot in the readings
that I do. So that's been really, really fun.
>> Wendy Valentine (44:56):
Wow, that's so cool.
>> Kristi Simons (44:58):
Some of the way. Some of the ways that I work with people.
>> Wendy Valentine (45:00):
That is amazing. I love it. Wow. You were. I'm
so glad you took the leap.
>> Kristi Simons (45:06):
Thank you.
>> Wendy Valentine (45:07):
Yeah.
>> Kristi Simons (45:07):
You know what?
>> Wendy Valentine (45:08):
That.
>> Kristi Simons (45:08):
That means so much because I actually did have a
client, just on the weekend, and
it's somebody who came to me, and she wanted to book this
as a birthday gift for herself. And she
told me, too, that, like, she kind of hesitated, but then she was like, no. Like,
I just. I felt really excited. Like, so I followed that pull.
And so I remember asking her at the beginning, because I
(45:29):
go through, like, my whole spiel before a soul reading, and I asked her, like,
if. And I felt like I needed to ask her. I'm like,
if there's somebody who wants to come through from the other
side, like, are you open to that? Because I just want to respect people's
boundaries too. And she kind of gave me this answer,
like, I don't. Like, I. I don't want to get my hopes up, essentially, because I
don't feel like anybody will. And I was like, okay,
(45:49):
that's confirmation enough. Like, her brother showed up. She
lost him when she was actually a teenager. He passed away
at 8 years old. And, yeah, it
was just. It was so profound for her, like,
once he came through and just, like, she was able to connect with him,
like, not only, like. Like, feeling wise, like,
physically, but also emotionally. And then she was almost,
(46:10):
like, being led in the session to, like, intuitively answer some
things for herself. And, yeah, he just sent her so
many beautiful signs, and it was just so cool to be able to be a part of
that.
So, I mean, I love my soul group. I love teaching emotional
intelligence, but really, truly, like, these are the gifts that have opened up
for me in the last little while. And again,
never could have ever expected this coming.
(46:31):
but, yeah, it's just. It's so incredible to be able to do this work
and to connect with other people's energy in that way and to be able to, like,
share in that connection with, like, their loved ones is
just. It's magic.
>> Wendy Valentine (46:42):
Ah. that is so awesome. I love that.
>> Kristi Simons (46:45):
Yeah, you know, thank you.
>> Wendy Valentine (46:47):
Being here in Sedona, this is. There's a lot of.
You need to come here. This is where it's at.
>> Kristi Simons (46:54):
I know. I'm selling everything. I'm buying myself an rv
and I'll meet you out there.
>> Wendy Valentine (46:59):
Oh, my God, that'd be so cool. Thank you so much. And
where can we find you?
>> Kristi Simons (47:04):
yeah, so probably most active, check out
the podcast Intuition for women and Teens. I would say, it's
available anywhere you listen to your podcast. And
I'm on Instagram. I share daily
messages. and yeah, you can send me a private message there.
I love connecting with people. I will answer you.
And, it's Christy Simons S I M M O
(47:24):
N S coaching. I was about to say dot com.
That's my website. But, yeah, no dot com for the Instagram.
>> Wendy Valentine (47:31):
Christysimonscoaching.com for your website.
Thank you so much. You're awesome.
>> Kristi Simons (47:36):
Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate you.
>> Wendy Valentine (47:39):
Everyone. Have a great day. Thank you.
Did this podcast inspire you? Challenge you?
Trigger you to make a change or spit out your coffee
laughing? Good. Then there are three ways you can
thank me. Number one, you can leave a written review
of this podcast on Apple iTunes. Number
two, you can take a screenshot of the episode
(48:01):
and share it on the social media and tag me
Wendy Valentine. Number three, share
it with another midlifer that needs a makeover. You
know who I'm talking about. Thank you so much for
listening to the show. Get out there and be bold.
Be free. Be you,
(48:28):
Sam.
Popular Podcasts
Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club
Welcome to Bookmarked by Reese’s Book Club — the podcast where great stories, bold women, and irresistible conversations collide! Hosted by award-winning journalist Danielle Robay, each week new episodes balance thoughtful literary insight with the fervor of buzzy book trends, pop culture and more. Bookmarked brings together celebrities, tastemakers, influencers and authors from Reese's Book Club and beyond to share stories that transcend the page. Pull up a chair. You’re not just listening — you’re part of the conversation.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com