June 17, 2025 • 54 mins
What if everything you’ve been told about your body was wrong? In this powerful episode of The Midlife Makeover Show, veteran journalist turned professional bodybuilder Anne Marie Chaker joins Wendy to challenge society’s obsession with thinness and reveal how strength training transformed her life at midlife. From struggling with postpartum depression and addiction to becoming a symbol of strength, Anne Marie shares her personal story and the fascinating research behind women’s strength, body image, and longevity. Get ready to flip the script on your fitness, confidence, and midlife potential!
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What You’ll Learn:
- Why midlife is the perfect time to build strength (not shrink!)
- The surprising history of diet culture and thinness
- How lifting weights supports bone health, longevity, and mental well-being
- Easy ways to start strength training (even at home or in an RV!)
- The power of finding your “why” for fitness and health
🎧 Tune in now at TheMidlifeMakeoverShow.com or wherever you listen to podcasts!
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✨Read the blog: 282 💪 Stronger Not Smaller: Redefining Midlife Fitness & Power with Anne Marie Chaker at https://wendyvalentine.com/redefining-midlife-fitness/
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👉 Connect with Anne Marie
https://annemariechaker.com/ https://www.instagram.com/annemariechaker/ https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/709922/lift-by-anne-marie-chaker/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (00:00):
We're inherent athletes, right? And it's important for
(00:02):
women to feel that way. It gives us
confidence. We have strength. And that's what
I'm hoping that the book shows
is that, like, this is something innate in us.
we are badass, muscular creatures
by history and by nature. And,
just the weightlifting and the athleticism and the
(00:23):
nutri. All of it, like, kind of rekindled
all of that for me. And so, like, the journalist in me
wanted to dig in and find out, like,
more like, why didn't I.
Why wasn't I getting this before? And what's the story
behind that?
>> Wendy Valentine (00:40):
Hey there, beautiful. I'm Wendy Valentine, your host
of the Midlife Makeover show, where it's never too
late to wake up to your best life. Whether you're
navigating a career change, empty nesting,
menopause, or wondering what's next, you're in
the right place. Every week, a bring you real
talk, laughs and inspiring conversations
(01:00):
with experts and extraordinary women who have
transformed their lives from self care and
relationships to starting over and finding freedom.
This is your time to reinvent,
rediscover, and reignite the woman you were
always meant to be. So hit that subscribe
button and let's rewrite the rules of midlife.
Your new adventure starts now.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (01:26):
Foreign.
>> Wendy Valentine (01:33):
Ladies, have you realized how
powerful you really are? I mean,
seriously, watch a woman for a day.
She's answering emails, flipping pancakes, solving
world problems, scheduling doctor's appointments,
managing hormones, handling the
472 tabs open in her brain
and. And somehow still finds time to
(01:55):
put on mascara like she's in a Maybelline commercial.
We truly are magic. And
have you ever seen two girlfriends get together to
tackle a to do list? Forget it. By the
end of the day, there's smoke coming off the whiteboard and
half of the business is launched. Now
multiply that energy by hundreds of
(02:17):
women. Game over, world. We're coming
for you. That's the power of the
Women Waking Up Team. We are
midlife women on a mission to rise up,
speak out, and help other women do the
same. Because when one woman
wakes up, it ripples out. It's the
butterfly effect. And this is
(02:39):
the moment. So if you've been meaning to
join, now's the time. This is
your last call to be part of something
bigger than a book. When you join the
Women Waking up team, you'll get the advanced
PDF copy of my book, Women Waking
the Midlife Manifesto for Passion, Purpose
and Play. You'll get to read it in July
(03:03):
before anyone else in the whole wide world.
And on, launch day, September 9th, you'll leave a review
on Amazon that helps other women feel
seen, heard, and inspired to change her
life. And guess what? You'll also
receive over a thousand dollars in
bonuses as a thank you. Oh, and speaking
(03:23):
of girlfriends, invite them to join you.
Read the book together, Talk about the tools,
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side. How cool is that? Because when
women gather, we don't just get stuff done.
We move mountains. Hello.
So come on, let's do this. Sign
up@wakeup team.com.
(03:46):
together we rise. Together we wake
the world. Now let's get into
today's show.
Welcome back to, the Midlife Makeover Show. I'm your host,
Wendy Valentine. And today's guest is going to
flip the script on how we think about our bodies,
our, strength, and the stories we've been told for
generations. Ann Marie Chaker
(04:07):
is a veteran journalist who spent over two
decades reporting for the Wall street,
covering everything from politics to cultural trends to
breaking news, including the events of 9
11. But in midlife, Ann
Marie took on a new beat, her own body.
She became a professional bodybuilder and wrote the
(04:27):
viral article, I never thought I'd write this. I
am a female bodybuilder, which has been viewed
over 500,000 times. Oh, my gosh. You
go, girl. In her new book, Lift
with the most amazing, gorgeous cover, Ann
Marie dives deep into how the modern obsession
with thinness has limited women physically,
(04:47):
emotionally, and even politically. But
here's the twist. By building strength,
women can break free from body image
insecurities and reclaim true power.
We're going to talk about her journey, the history behind
diet culture, and how every woman in midlife can
redefine what it means to be strong.
Please welcome Ann Marie to the
(05:09):
show.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (05:16):
Y' all.
>> Wendy Valentine (05:16):
We have been talking for probably 30 minutes before
we started. Oh, are
we supposed to do it?
>> Anne Marie Chaker (05:23):
I felt like we could keep going. It was fun. So
I love your life. I, like, I was getting a little window into
your, your life there and.
>> Wendy Valentine (05:30):
Yeah, I know my wild life. You know, you gotta keep
wild.
so first question for you. How did you
go from being a journalist to being a
bodybuilder? What inspired you?
>> Anne Marie Chaker (05:43):
Yeah, so it was, like
many things, it was a story kind of
born of struggle. I was in
a very unhealthy way, at some
point, in my life where the shit
really hit the fan, as it does for many of us. At some
point, I had just had my second baby
(06:03):
and Was really struggling with,
postpartum stuff, depression.
and then a couple weeks of
that, I was nursing my baby on the couch and a
neighbor came over to tell me my dad suddenly had a heart
attack while walking the dog. I mean, I just spoken to my
dad about like a grocery run. So
that was hugely devastating.
(06:26):
finding dad, just a. They, My folks
lived a couple doors down. and then my
marriage disintegrated. So it was like boom, boom,
boom, within weeks of each other. You know,
my dad was gone, my husband had left and I had
this baby and wasn't doing so hot. I think I
counted something like 11 days of
(06:46):
not being able to sleep. Which I know sounds completely
insane, but it's a sign of deep depression when you
just like cannot sleep sleep. Right. So, a
neighbor of mine, a friend came over and we were kind of cross
legged on the couch and I was crying and she said, just
have a glass of wine to help you sleep. This is
insane. So that's where it started. I
started. I was never much of a drinker before, but
(07:09):
had half a glass of wine to take the edge off and then it
became more. And then that became more in a bottle
in there. And this went on for years. I just couldn't
stop. I was really, quite literally addicted to the
stuff. And
all this came to a head one day I was taking, ah, my
daughters to an ice hockey tournament. They played ice hockey at the
(07:31):
time. And we were staying at a dinky hotel,
where the tournament was. And there was a woman,
a hockey mom in the, in the fitness room of this
dinky hotel who was just looked incredible.
She was the mom of like a kid on my team
and I was coaching at the time. And
her muscles were popping. She was beautiful, but
(07:52):
not because she was thin, but because she was really fit
and she really knew what she was doing. Like she was like
logging things in and she had packed a band
with her. I'd never seen anyone do that.
And the way she was lifting weights, I. So I was
looking at her and I was just like,
give me some of that. so I went up with, to
(08:12):
her and I kind of said, you know, what's your deal?
Like, what are you, a crossfitter? What?
I said, you look amazing. I look terrible. I think I have a
drinking problem. so she said, no, no, I do
bodybuilding and blah, blah,
blah. She was talking about like her workouts and she
tracks macronutrients and the nutrition Is a big part of
(08:33):
it. And she has a coach. And I thought, my God, she's like,
intense. But I kind of loved that.
Like, I loved the. So she put me in touch with her
coach and said, she'll work with you. Like, you don't have to be a
bodybuilder. She'll work with you on, like, fitness and
nutrition. And so was a retired
bodybuilder, this coach. So I got home and
I reached out to this lady and that's where my
(08:55):
fitness journey started.
>> Wendy Valentine (08:58):
A very healthy journey.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (09:02):
Yeah. You know, what was
interesting was, yeah, it started
with nutrition. Like, you know,
it didn't start with like, to the gym and like,
like do all these dead. It really.
The coach just kind of looked at what it was I was
eating every day. And we quickly
found, just from
(09:25):
tracking, that I was basically going from coffee
in the morning to mindlessly, you know, whatever
scraps came off my toddler's plates at the time
to wine and. Which
was not exactly the breakfast of champions. Right. so.
So she was like, you're not eating nearly
enough. And that blew my mind because
(09:45):
we've been taught our whole lives to like, that we're always
eating too much and to like, cut your portion sizes
and to like, you know, diet and the number on the scale.
So the idea that like, wow, I should be
eating more kind of rocked my world.
and protein. And she talked to me about
macronutrients. So we started tracking the
macronutrients and focus attention on
(10:07):
protein. And I was eating really well. I
was focusing on whole foods. And,
my craving of alcohol sort of
naturally waned. Just what do
you think is, do.
>> Wendy Valentine (10:20):
You think that was more because of the foods? Was it
a mental thing?
>> Anne Marie Chaker (10:25):
I don't know. I think it might have been a combination of
things. I think, that. And you know, she was
sending me to the gym also,
not for cardio. Which was another thing I'd always
associate with the gym is like, you go there to
burn calories and like run on the treadmill or whatever.
But she was assigning, she was assigning
weightlifting exercises to me. So it was this combination
(10:48):
of, you know, eating really well
and getting my spilkey's out
in the gym through weightlifting. That just kind of
made me feel really good. And
and I just didn't have
this craving. I think maybe
sometimes I don't know if like we reach
for wine or
(11:10):
alcohol not thinking that
we're consuming any, like, it's okay because we're
Just. But it's actually, like. It's stuff that
does something to your body, and it's. It is a
toxin. And, like, you know, we kind of
mindlessly reach for it, but, you know, not.
There's. Not. There's anything wrong with that sometimes. But, like, you
know, it is addictive, and if you're leaning on it too much, you're
(11:33):
probably maybe not making the best food choices.
so maybe that was some of what was happening.
I think the other thing was happening was just, like, I
had always been an athlete in college, and then
that aspect of my life was gone. and,
like, the traditional, fitness
classes never really appealed to me. Like,
(11:54):
I'm not a yoga person. I'm not, like, a
jogger mommy person. Like,
so there was nowhere for my,
you know, stuff to go.
>> Wendy Valentine (12:05):
Yeah. Ah, you couldn't get the energy out, which.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (12:08):
Yeah, yeah, you need to.
So what.
>> Wendy Valentine (12:12):
What did you notice after, like, maybe even
if you can remember, you know, a few weeks after
you were into it, like, what did you notice mentally and
physically, spiritually, emotionally?
>> Anne Marie Chaker (12:26):
my confidence soared.
and what I mean by that
is I just, like,
I started kicking ass at work. Like, I, you know,
would go for a lift, I would come back to my desk, I
would have, like, amazing new ideas.
And. But more than that, like, I was more
(12:47):
productive. I kind of pushed back.
Like, I. I was just, like, felt
comfortable saying no.
and, I heard it in my voice, too. Like,
I would get on the call, on
interviews, like, interviewing people, and I could feel,
like, a sort of athletic
confidence in my voice. And it was kind of like
(13:09):
the feeling was like a homecoming to,
like, the athlete I'd once been and kind of lost
and just kind of feel like we're
inherent athletes. Right. And it's important for women
to feel that way. It gives us confidence.
We have strength. And that's what I'm hoping
that the book shows is that, like, this is something
(13:31):
innate in us. we are badass,
muscular creatures by history and
by nature. And, just the weightlifting and the
athleticism and the nutri. All of it, like, kind
of rekindled all of that for me. And
so, like, the journalist in me wanted to dig
in and find out, like, more like,
(13:52):
why didn't I. Why wasn't I getting this
before? And what's the story behind that?
>> Wendy Valentine (13:57):
Yeah, well, exactly. Like, why is society
not telling us, like, hey, you get. You should be stronger.
You should.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (14:04):
Yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (14:04):
better care of your body. Right. Not just for the
reasons. Right. So I Actually. Oh, do you have your
book with you?
>> Anne Marie Chaker (14:12):
Why, yes, I do.
>> Wendy Valentine (14:13):
Yeah. Please. Look at that thing. It is
so pretty. I. Okay. Is that your arm?
>> Anne Marie Chaker (14:20):
So everybody's gonna ask me this. It
is not. This is
not my arm, but I will say my art. So I had this thing
with the publisher, was just like. I was like, okay, can we put my
arm? Because my arm is just as jacked as this.
But this. But everybody's gonna ask me, like, is that
your arm? And I want to be able to say yes. And
(14:40):
they were like, well, it wouldn't be too complicated.
Exchange. Fine.
>> Wendy Valentine (14:44):
Just say yes.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (14:44):
I had a picture. I know. Maybe I should just be like,
yeah, it's my fucking arm.
>> Wendy Valentine (14:48):
That's my arm. And you should see my m.
Legs.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (14:52):
I even had a photographer to kind of fight for this.
I had a photographer take a picture of me on my arm, and I was like, use
this one.
>> Wendy Valentine (14:59):
Yeah. It's a great, great cover. I love
it.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (15:02):
Thanks. I like it too.
I really like the color. This pink. It's so.
It's like an ironic. I. I just love
this color.
>> Wendy Valentine (15:11):
you had on your Instagram, I think you had found a
fingernail polish.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (15:15):
The nail polish. Yes.
>> Wendy Valentine (15:16):
And I was like, it is. It's kind of like a. I don't know.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (15:19):
What.
>> Wendy Valentine (15:19):
What?
>> Anne Marie Chaker (15:20):
Like a kind of orchid. I think the nail
polish color was like, orchid or something. But it's like. It's an
ironic. It's like, let's go with pink. But it's like kind
of an edgy, ironic pink.
>> Wendy Valentine (15:30):
You know what I love about it? Because it's combining.
It's a good blend of, masculine and feminine energy.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (15:36):
Yeah. Oh, my God, I love that. You nailed
that. Yeah. I love, like, the orange and the pink,
like, and then blues and then.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. so I love it too.
>> Wendy Valentine (15:47):
And I did already start reading the book. It is
so, so good. And today
is pub date for you, which I know, as an author is
a big day, so, yes, it is.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (15:59):
Ready? A Hallmark card for that or something?
Yeah. Right.
>> Wendy Valentine (16:05):
Yes.
so what I would like to do, the book is divided up
into three parts, and it's so brilliant the way you have
it. So Pool, part one is
pool. Pulling Back the Curtain on the Story
of Women's Bodies. Chapter one is the story. Story
of Skinny. How We Got the Idea We Were
supposed to be thin. Dive into that a little
(16:26):
bit. That's interesting. The History
of us.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (16:31):
Yeah. So, you know, I was
telling you about, like, my. You know, I'm this
sample size one. And yet, like,
what's going on here? Like, transformed into this
different person with this weightlifting and this,
you know, focus on more. More and better food.
And,
(16:52):
And, like, basically, the. The best way I can describe
the feeling is that, like, I had come home into this
body that I felt like I was always meant to inhabit. And,
like, that I performed best at.
So, I kind of researched,
like, what does history say about,
like, the way we were once built? And I became really
(17:12):
enamored of this study out of Cambridge,
from just a couple years ago. this woman, this anthropologist,
had bothered to. Nobody had ever done this.
People always compared early women's
bones to early men's bones,
but she. Yeah, because, like,
(17:32):
you know, And then they really focused on the
men's bones because they kind of showed
an interesting trajectory over time
of like, okay, well, here's when men started
using tools more and their bodies became
less muscular, and they relied more on different
tools and as technology. So, you know,
(17:52):
and the women's bodies tended to not
change as much. So the focus was always. But this
woman was really wanted to learn more about these early
women's bones structure. So she compared
them to, women's bone
structure at, Cambridge. The modern students
that were there. A, population mixed of, you know,
students, athletes, more sedentary girls and
(18:14):
so forth. And she found the early women's
bones were the
size of Olympic rowers today. Like,
elite rowers today. Like modern
elite rowers. Meaning, like, these
early women were buff badasses. And.
And this notion that they were
out picking berries in the field while the men
(18:36):
hunted was totally like a
myth. It was not true. These women were
hauling, they were lifting
heavy things. They were obviously an
integral part of agriculture. Hear
me.
>> Wendy Valentine (18:51):
Dog is going, oh, no, no, I can't hear.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (18:54):
Okay, okay. they were obviously an
integral part of agriculture.
So I, So then I started
exploring. Well, there's like, a whole
history of, you know,
skinny, like. So what was the deal with that? Like,
so, right. The. The focus on
(19:15):
thinness actually came
in the latter part of the 1800s. So it's a
fairly recent phenomenon. All this
through these. These early millennia.
Like, we were always these buff, strong badasses.
And so it's only 1860s,
1880s, when food became
(19:35):
more plentiful, and
it's, you know, thin started to become
seen more as a status symbol.
You start, start hearing more about
corpulence, corpulence being something
that was maybe not seen very well.
And then you Know, food
restriction kind of came about,
(19:58):
as like a moral virtue. So there were all of these
threads that were, you know, over the
decades kind of feeding into this,
you know, skinny is good thin, let's
be thin culture. So that's a fairly.
And the other thing that I found, which was really
interesting is these waves of science. Skinny
(20:18):
kind of came about in. At moments
where women started to get more power.
So, ah, that
perhaps it's not coincidence that,
the flappers came about when
women got the vote. and then
when, there was that sort of second wave
(20:40):
of feminism and Equal Rights Amendment and all
of that in this 60s and 70s,
you had Twiggy, and
that. So, you know, then when, in the 80s
when, you know, women started infiltrating the
boardroom and like, you know, became,
you know, working girl in the big shoulder pad, then you
had like, the waifs. So it's
(21:02):
almost like there could be an argument that there was this like,
cultural movement to kind of
keep women in their more childlike,
state, less powerful state at
moments when, we seem to
be grabbing for more power. So. Interesting.
I became very interested in that.
>> Wendy Valentine (21:22):
Yeah, that is, yeah,
definitely in the 80s. I mean, that was like the diet
decade, when all those crazy bits were
coming out. Right. And women were starting today.
Yeah.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (21:36):
You know, this is coming at a moment where we.
>> Wendy Valentine (21:39):
In other words, what is, what is that message
then that we're receiving? If you want
to be more powerful and if you really want
to stand in your truth and if you want, you want to be
a woman, you're going to go do all these badass things.
You need to be smaller.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (21:56):
It's almost like society, like a patriarchal
society kind of telling us to.
Pushing us back into our
place. Right?
>> Wendy Valentine (22:06):
Yeah. Like, we really don't want.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (22:07):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I, think, we are in
this moment now where forces,
that are shaping us have changed. And I think
now you're hearing, I think, in
a really powerful way, like, people in midlife,
(22:29):
women in midlife are, you know, really looking at
menopause, as a
new opportunity. Right. Like, yeah, well,
wait, we don't have enough, you know, doctors
telling us to. How to take care of ourselves and like,
you know, helping us with these symptoms and like,
wait, we should actually be lifting weights. It's
(22:49):
not good for us to, you know, look frail
at 50 and say, actually, you know,
it's not good. Like, osteopenia is not a good thing and
osteoporosis is this is what it is. And we should be live.
Like we're in this moment where like women
are kind of saying what the. Like we. This,
you know, this whole skinny thing hasn't served us well.
>> Wendy Valentine (23:10):
No.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (23:10):
and it's exhausting.
>> Wendy Valentine (23:12):
It's, you know, it's exhausting
around for decades. Just hungry.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (23:18):
Yeah, hungry.
>> Wendy Valentine (23:19):
And I learned that too about like you,
you actually can eat more.
And it, this whole thing of like eating less is.
No, no, like you need body
is your body's creaming more.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (23:34):
Yeah. And there's like the,
it's not our fault, right? Because the messages
are everywhere. From the moment we're born.
It's like thin is at the
grocery, everything is a thin, you know, and like
the jeans are skinny. And it's just like these
messages of skinny and thin are
permeate our entire culture. So of
(23:56):
course we're like all screwed up about it
because it's what we've been fed from day. Day one.
no.
>> Wendy Valentine (24:03):
No pun intended. Yeah, right.
Yeah.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (24:07):
and there's a never enoughness about it
too. Right? Like that was like my whole
struggle, my whole life. It was just like I
wanted to be good. I wanted to like meet this
like idea of perfection. And yet like,
I could never quite. Like, I was never
skinny. Like I could never quite get there. I was always
(24:27):
athletic. I like to eat and like I could never.
So there's just like this
drumbeat of, I don't know,
disappointment and self loathing
and. And so when
I just, I discovered strength, it was just like
a drink of water. And I
(24:47):
really wanted to get under like the why
and the how. And I really wrote
the book to help women understand
that like they have this in them.
And this is how I did it. And this is how
you can do it too.
>> Wendy Valentine (25:04):
I know. It's so good. I love it, I love it, I love it.
Let's see, part two. Building Push.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (25:10):
Push.
>> Wendy Valentine (25:11):
Get it. The first one was pull. Second one is push.
Building a longer life and empowering a new
generation.
Chapter 4. Aging BC
Strength Training for a longer life.
So aging beast fully. I love that.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (25:27):
there's always this, this guy at the
gym. and it's a young guy
and I, I'll admit I grunt when I,
you know, put something down or lift something up. I make noises
and he always kind of gives me a fist bump and
he's this beast and I just kind of love
like he's young enough to be my son and I love that he
(25:49):
could tell. He felt like, he could tell me I was a beast.
So I don't know. I. I guess
part two. So part one is kind of like
where this came from. And then part two
is just like the why,
and the how. Like, this is how you can build,
a strength training approach
(26:10):
and kind of be a beast. And it's okay
to be a beast. It's a, it's something that, like,
we've been kind of engineered to not
be, always taught to be
polite and to be good and be quiet and to live.
But it's okay to sweat and grunt and like,
crash the bar and fist bump the guy at the
(26:30):
gym. And so, and it doesn't have to be
complicated. That's the thing. Like, we get
slammed with so much marketing and,
and you know, you have to balance on this ball with.
It's really, you know, there's maybe a
couple things, three, four things that you can
do. you can do it at home, you can do it at the gym
(26:51):
if you like. Going to a gym, you don't need a lot,
but you just need to start lifting some
weights. And, you know, that
chapter explains how to. How to set it set up your
week, and what to do what you can kind of cobble together
in a given week.
>> Wendy Valentine (27:08):
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Now you've got nothing to lose and everything
to gain. How does it help with, with strength
training? How does it help with aging? Whether that be
(28:12):
like, your bones or your muscles.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (28:14):
Yeah, so, strength
training is kind of like the ultimate
protector of bone. It cushions
the bone. you know, women
lose, are susceptible to bone loss
as they age, as you know. So,
by building,
(28:36):
But by building more muscle, we
help, build more
bone matter. so it not only
helps build the bone matter, but it also helps
protect the bone against, damage
and breakage. So it's this beautiful kind
of two pronged thing. So that's why women are
(28:58):
being told to strength train like never before because
it prevents osteoporosis and osteopenia and
it also like, protects against balls.
>> Wendy Valentine (29:07):
I noticed a huge difference. I started strength
training probably, what, a couple of
years ago and I have a amazing trainer
here on the island. And I have
four, three to four herniated
discs in my spine.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (29:23):
Wow.
>> Wendy Valentine (29:24):
I know. And they're so sensitive
to where like, if I'm loading the dishwasher, it'd be
like, shit, you know, like, I'm done.
but since I started strength training,
I have not had a disc pop out
ever since. And m. I totally
believe it's. My back is stronger, my neck
(29:45):
is stronger.
and I just. Yeah, I mean I just feel. But I. And my
posture is better because of strength training.
And I would have to say too, I lose
weight. Like, and that's the thing. If you need to
lose weight, you can lose weight with
strength training. We don't think that we can because we have been
(30:05):
trained to like, you must run, you know, for
45 minutes on the treadmill.
Actually, with strength training, you're
burning calories. Your. Because,
and especially like leg day, you know, like, you know,
leg day, like, that's the day, like, if you think
about it, your legs, your,
(30:26):
your booty, that's a, that's a lot
of muscle going on there.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (30:31):
Yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (30:32):
And when you're, yeah, when you're working those
muscles, you're burning
fat.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (30:38):
Yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (30:39):
And sometimes it's like two days later, I'm still, I
can feel it. I can still feel like it's burning and it's
like such a nice, nice feeling.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (30:48):
Yeah. There's. One of my favorite quotes in the book
was from a doctor, at Mayo Clinic who
said something like, you're building like,
a better metabolic engine for your body. And
it's like having a V8 engine versus
like a V4 or whatever.
yes. So, yeah, you're building a better metabolic
engine. And then also there's a ton of
(31:11):
really interesting research about like
the, you know, the, the mental health
effects of lifting weights. One of
my favorite that just made me stop and think
was the study that
showed, the effects on memory and
how, this researcher compared,
(31:32):
people who did only strength training,
people who did a combination of strength and cardio,
and then people who did, Nothing at all.
or just people who did cardio only and
then people who did nothing at all and then,
showed this population cards and then asked
them to remember the images on the cards.
(31:55):
It was the population who did
strength training only that had the
best memory of what was on
those cards than those that did
strength and cardio and you
even just cardio. So I thought that was really
interesting. Yeah, there's all this like, you
(32:15):
know, and I even feel it. I don't know about you, but like,
I feel like I'll look at myself in the gym
mirror and my first set and I'll look at myself, be like,
oh, you know, and then I'll do like
a set of something and like a look
at myself. Yeah, I'm like, you know, not
bad. Like, and it's not because
(32:35):
I've changed in like the 30 seconds, but
it's because, like, there's something in you
that just kind of. Your endorphins are up, you're
feeling good, you know, your confidence source.
It's always amazing to me. And when I go home after
a good workout, I feel like a brand new
person. It's just like, you can't bottle the stuff.
(32:55):
It's just.
>> Wendy Valentine (32:56):
I know. It feels so good.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (32:58):
Yeah, it feels really good.
>> Wendy Valentine (32:59):
What you were saying earlier, it's like, when you make your muscles
stronger, your body stronger, you making yourself
mentally stronger and emotionally stronger to like, you were
saying where you kind of felt like, okay, you could stand
up and speak up for yourself a little bit better.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (33:14):
Yeah, it's.
>> Wendy Valentine (33:15):
It's really, really fascinating.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (33:17):
Yeah. Yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (33:18):
I was just gonna make one other point. I freaking forgot what the heck
it was. Well, you can tell I'm not in the strength
memory.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (33:26):
I do this.
>> Wendy Valentine (33:31):
I was thinking, I was thinking, like, I not only
work out for my 52 year old self,
I work out for my 92 year old self. I always.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (33:39):
Yeah, I love that of the Wendy.
>> Wendy Valentine (33:42):
When she's in her 90s and I
want her to be like, thank you so
much for taking care of me, for
eating well, going to the gym,
sweating, whatever you had to, like. I want her
to be thanking me one day
for everything that I've done for her so that
she can take a walk in the park. She can. And here
(34:05):
in Madeira, like, the hills are like, it's like basically like
a triangle.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (34:09):
Oh, wow.
>> Wendy Valentine (34:10):
Yeah. I mean, I, I want her to be
able to do all those things and play with the
grandkids and to still travel in her
90s, so I encourage everyone
listening. Think about your
80 year old self, your 90 year old self and
think about you're taking care of her
today. Yeah, like what you do today is going to affect you
(34:32):
tomorrow.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (34:33):
No, totally.
Longevity is like a, another big.
I mean there's so much interest right now in
longevity. And here's the other thing that my book takes
apart is another reason like women are so
much more badass than we give ourselves credit for
is that in a lot of ways we are
stronger than men.
(34:54):
we live longer than men. I
mean with all of the attention on like the Broie culture
of like you know, exchanging blood with
our sons and like,
like actually for, for as long as records
have been kept, women live
much longer than men and like three quarters
(35:14):
of the centenarians that have been recorded and
it's are women. So that
was one. And then like there are studies on
fatigue. It's like yeah, on average a man
might be able to like lift
a heavier thing, but women,
there's all these like studies that show that women
(35:34):
can outlast men in terms
of like their ability to hold
positions or stamina out.
Stamina?
Ah. And what was the other thing
like our muscular makeup is
one like men's must. Men have more type
(35:55):
2 muscle fibers where quick,
you know, quick reaction type musculature,
whereas we have like more fatigue
resistant, muscularity. So
there's all this fascinating research about
how women are really not the
weaker sex at all and that, you know, the book makes
(36:15):
an argument that we should really like be capitalizing on that.
>> Wendy Valentine (36:18):
Yes. Yeah, that's, that's fascinating.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (36:21):
Oh yeah, can't wait to read the rest.
>> Wendy Valentine (36:24):
okay. Part three is lift
Taking our bodies back. Chapter five is
the mental game. Don't overthink and find your
why.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (36:34):
Yeah, yeah, find your why. And your why
is like it's something that can change,
you know, all the time. you know I
like, I'm proud of like my
bodybuilding and I'm competing
right now and bodybuilding is a big
part of what I do. it's part
of my identity. but I'm also like,
(36:56):
you know, there will be a time where maybe I don't
do that anymore and I
still plan on strength training but maybe my why will
be like your why. Like you know, I'm doing this
to like live a long life
and be able to see my grandchildren and play with
them and like, you know, be able to travel and do
(37:16):
all the things like when I'm in when I'm in my
70s and 80s. I don't want to lose those decades.
so yeah, being in touch with your why.
And I would, you know that right.
>> Wendy Valentine (37:29):
Now back, back then you're. I'm guessing.
But maybe your why was just to give you some,
some sense of purpose. Getting out of the. And
overcoming the addiction. And sometimes
like that's the best thing.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (37:42):
I had lost myself. I really felt like
I had lost myself. I looked in the mirror and I
was just like, I could see it in my fate. Like I
didn't look happy. I looked. It wasn't
because I was, I was not really overweight per se, but
I just looked like out of shape and
unhappy and just you could see the loss. And I
(38:02):
just felt like I needed to reconnect with that
like kick ass girl of my youth.
Like, where was she? And you know, exercise
really did that for me.
>> Wendy Valentine (38:13):
Bring back your, your super she
rose.
let's see. Oh, Chapter six. Building your routine.
A guide to beasting out. That's what I
love. So I'm guessing then you provide a routine
in there with weight.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (38:29):
Yeah, yeah. And really kind of like ease people
in. So like, you know, just to start,
like ask yourself, are you
a gym person? Because not everybody is into like going to
a gym and that's okay. I kind of like
both. So you know, having a few things at home and here's what
you need at home to kind of set up a regular
(38:50):
practice. And you don't need much like
I would say a couple pairs of dumbbells.
A band is good and they're like totally
cheapo. You can get five dollar band off Amazon.
like a bench that you can adjust the
incline is really good to have and I
feel that you have a pretty decent setup
(39:12):
and that doesn't take up a lot of room. If you want, and you
want to build then like, yeah, later, a barbell,
like an Olympic barbell and a squat rack. But you don't need that
to start. and then
you know, gyms are great if you want to sign up for gym.
Nice thing about the gym, they have more stuff, there's
more space, there's other people there. So if
(39:33):
you're, you know, if you like, you
know that social, like I actually kind of
like, you know, getting out of the house and like seeing
new people and being able to.
>> Wendy Valentine (39:44):
Yeah, I think it motivates you too. You see other people working
out.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (39:47):
So like. Exactly. They're playing their music and
that's good. Yeah, yeah. but then also, like, it's good
to have stuff at home, too, on the days you don't feel like going out, but you
just want to get something in. So kind of
take people through that and then how to organize
your workouts. Like, I, think of them
in terms of splits. So one day might
(40:07):
be more of, like, a leg and butt day.
one day might be more of a leg and kind of
hamstrings day. I'll do two leg days
a week. one
day might be, like, more back
and biceps. Another day
might be chest and triceps. So aiming for,
(40:28):
like, three or four times a week. And, you know, it doesn't
have to be like, an hour. You can think of
it in terms of, you know, 30 to 40 minutes
getting, like, three, four sets of,
of things done. And then, you know,
my coach always says something is better than nothing.
So. Yeah, whatever. Whatever way
(40:49):
makes the most sense. But just, like, I even.
I've heard of people putting things in different corners
of their house just so that, like, when they walk by,
they see it, and then they. They'll know to do, like, a.
A few sets of something. So whatever, you
know, Whatever. Whatever works for you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (41:08):
Even, I think I shared with you earlier, but even in the rv,
like, I had a few weights. I had
the bands. I don't even know
what they're called. You know how, like, you put the band around
your. Your thighs and you do, like, kind of
like the moving squats?
>> Anne Marie Chaker (41:25):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I would do that.
>> Wendy Valentine (41:27):
I mean, the RV is. I mean, it's 100 square
feet, and my hallway.
Hallway, if you will, with the whole thing. I mean, it's
like maybe this wide.
It's not that big, but you can make it
work, right? So I literally would go from, like, I would take
the van, and I would. I would move from the bathroom
(41:47):
over to the cab, back and forth.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (41:50):
Yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (41:50):
And then I would even do, like, on the back of the.
The kitchen counter, I would do the, like, where I'd.
I'd kind of, put my hands back there
and then put my feet up on the couch, and I would just, like.
I don't even know what those are called.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (42:03):
Tricep dips. Yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (42:05):
But I mean, where there's a will, there's a way.
And.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (42:08):
Yeah, and I would say, too.
>> Wendy Valentine (42:09):
I don't be curious what you think as well, but,
I mean, some. Some women can be
intimidated by going into the gym and all
the weights or even doing it at home. There's A
ton of apps out there where
they show you how to do things if you need a little bit more
instruction. I had a friend, Amy,
(42:29):
actually, that she, she hired a trainer
just, just so that this trainer would just
create a routine for her. Like, she went, just
only like maybe three or four times with this
trainer, just so she would like, okay, this machine,
this is what you're going to do. And this on these days.
And that helped her just to get going and
(42:50):
to have that confidence to go into the gym by herself.
So you just figure it out and yeah,
I mean, God, YouTube, there's tons of stuff.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (42:59):
There's tons of stuff on YouTube.
you know, if you join one of the gym, take advantage.
Sometimes they'll give you like a freebie two, three sessions with
a personal trainer. Take m it because
first of all, get them really put them to work,
get them to help you set up a routine that
you can follow every week. And,
(43:20):
it also kind of helps you learn what the different piece, some of the pieces
of equipment might be foreign to you. Helps
you learn what's available. I will say I did a story
recently, where I interviewed, like, gym
CEO. Some of these, like, women are
infiltrating these spaces like never before.
it's great. Like, when I started, I,
(43:40):
there were very few women in the gym. This was before
COVID 2019 was when I kind of started my,
strength training journey. And I was feeling far.
Now it's like 50,
55% of people who are in the weight
rooms are women. This is wonderful. And I
always make a point to be the weirdo, to
(44:01):
like, reach out to a woman next to me or whatever and be like,
hey, good memory.
It was great. Like, whatever kind of like
gets you chatty. Like, it's important for
women to kind of get to know each other and take up space
in these spaces as well.
>> Wendy Valentine (44:17):
Yeah, I think too, like, with weights, you just. There's only
weights can give you that certain type of look and the cut, like when you're
wearing a sleeveless dress or, you know, it's just
like. And it's nice. Like you look in the mirror like,
you know, and you don't have to be like super buff, but just a
little bit. Nice tone. It like, gives you nice
tone.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (44:36):
Yes. Yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (44:38):
So last but not least, chapter seven. Eat like a
bodybuilder. The value of protein and
other. And it got cut off.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (44:46):
Oh. And other macronutrients. Yeah, that's what it was.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah. So
bodybuilders Think of food in terms of, like, the big three
macronutrients, which is carbs,
proteins and fats. And,
the main name of the game, I would say, is
meeting enough, ah, protein. So if you're
(45:07):
really, like, devoted to the
lifestyle and like, trying to lift weights,
ideally you should be getting
about a gram of protein per
pound of body weight. So I consume somewhere between
120, 130 grams of,
protein a day, which suits me fine.
(45:29):
I'm very active, I lift a lot of weights and
I'm very hungry. So, so. And I'm a
unabashed carnivore. So, so,
yeah, and then like, carbs is
something that has been vilified. but,
you know, carbs are important. It should be
about 50% of what you consume.
(45:49):
so I talk about, like, what I
eat in terms of my favorite carbs. and then
fats are fats won't make you fat. I consume, about,
ah, 15% of what I consume is in
healthy fats. So, the name of the game is just
kind of staying ahead and like, prepping your fridge,
prepping your meals ahead of time. I really try not to
(46:10):
eat out very much.
I just, like, it's nice. But I used
to rely a lot on quick
takeout. And, I've really kind of
focus more on eating at home and grocery shopping
and meal prepping for the week. And what I mean by
that is, you know,
(46:31):
the old Tupperwares and I kind of stash, like, I always
have like, a big salad, at the ready.
I. My carbs. There's usually, some
cooked white rice in a Tupperware. I have some,
boiled potatoes or sweet potatoes in another
Tupperware. And then I have,
cooked up some protein. So it could be like
grilled chicken breasts. It could be
(46:53):
turkey crumbles. I like to combine, 93
and 99 Turkey with me a little taco
seasoning or whatever. what else I
got in there? I mean, liquid egg whites. I do a lot of
smoothies. I put liquid egg bites in there, pure
eggs. so, you know, from there you can
cobble together lots of different,
lots of different meals, for yourself, for
(47:16):
the kids. you don't have to. It
doesn't. Eating well doesn't have to mean recipes and
sauces and.
>> Wendy Valentine (47:23):
Yeah, I know. I've kind of gotten away from that myself.
Having, you know, with raising three kids and
cooking dinners. And now it's like, oh,
I'm happy with Just good old piece of, you know,
sauteed chicken and a salad on the side.
Yeah, no, not that. I'm just like.
And it's too not to have a bunch of additional
(47:45):
stuff on there. I use more herbs and spices now
than I did before, but keeping very
simple. But yeah, you're right. It doesn't.
It doesn't mean that it's going to take even more time.
It's like if you just. Just cut that time out
of your schedule. Like, okay, I'm going to go to the. Go to the
store, get all these things for the week, and then you're kind
(48:05):
of glad that you did all that. Then it's like for the rest of the week, you're like,
ah, I got Tupperwares full of stuff. You know, it
makes it so much easier.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (48:12):
Yeah, yeah. No, I think it's a good way to be.
So. Yeah, that's. Those are my greatest hits.
>> Wendy Valentine (48:18):
I'm going to the gym tomorrow. So I'm like, what,
what, are you working tomorrow?
>> Anne Marie Chaker (48:24):
So I. Tomorrow
is going to be some upper body and,
some cardio. I'm cutting for my next competition later this
summer, so. Car the card.
The old cardio gets kicked up a notch these days.
I've, I've really started just to mix things up a bit. I've started
going to Orange Theory. there's an Orange Theory a
(48:46):
couple blocks from me and, I think they do a great job.
I really like the energy in there. Not I don't every
day, but, a couple times a week. Just sometimes it's just
nice to tell someone else telling you what to do and
playing the music and it's good.
I like the. I like the orange.
>> Wendy Valentine (49:02):
Yeah, I just. I. Same. Well, not an orange Theory, but I.
I actually belong to two gyms and it's kind of nice because
it changes it up a little bit. Different people.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (49:10):
Oh, yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (49:11):
Different class.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (49:11):
Yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (49:12):
And I love. In classes, like, I
love spinning.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (49:16):
Do you?
>> Wendy Valentine (49:16):
yeah, it's like meditation for me.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (49:18):
Yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (49:19):
I wish it would be appropriate to sit
and take notes on a spinning bike because I'm like, I'll come
up with some really good ideas. I'm like, interesting.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (49:28):
Like. Yeah, yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (49:30):
To me it's, yeah. Very meditative. I enjoy
the cycling. And because of my spine, I can't. I can't
do. I can't run anymore.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (49:38):
Yeah. And.
>> Wendy Valentine (49:39):
But that's. That's part of it too. You kind of learn your body.
What can you do? You learn your body, you just work around it. Like,
there's.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (49:45):
Yes.
>> Wendy Valentine (49:46):
Always something. but. Yeah. And. And to
enjoy it. Like, find something that you enjoy and
not everything we're gonna enjoy. There's. Sometimes I'm like,
hate. Like that machine or this. Or like.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (49:57):
Right.
>> Wendy Valentine (49:57):
Doing it anyway.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (49:58):
Right, right, right. Yeah, Always
kind of. There's something called the perceived rate of
exertion. so on a scale of 1 to
10, 10 being the hardest, it's good
to kind of hit that. 8, 9. Like, maybe you
could eke out one more or two more.
But really kind of like it's m
(50:19):
hard but in a good way, you know? Yeah, I like. I
like that feeling.
>> Wendy Valentine (50:23):
Yeah, exactly. Thank you so much.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (50:25):
This is. Hey, Wendy. This was so fun. You're so.
>> Wendy Valentine (50:28):
I hope everyone gets your book, because
I think it'll be so helpful.
so speaking of, where do we find you? How do we get
the book?
>> Anne Marie Chaker (50:38):
So, my name is Ann Marie Chaker. C
H A K E R. I'm on Instagram, AnnMarie
Shaker. I also have a website, annmarie
checker.com and you can see all the links, where you can get
the book. It's available Amazon, Barnes
and Noble, Target, Walmart, anywhere books are
sold. So, yes, you can also follow me on
(50:58):
substack. I write a substack newsletter.
so it's
annmarieche.substack.com.
>> Wendy Valentine (51:05):
You'Re just everywhere, doing your thing.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (51:07):
All over the place.
>> Wendy Valentine (51:08):
All over the place. Yeah.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (51:10):
Like, Wendy in an rv.
>> Wendy Valentine (51:11):
I know, right? I know. And I'll be doing my book
tour in the rv, so that's gonna be.
Oh, I know.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (51:19):
that'll be great. Social.
>> Wendy Valentine (51:20):
Oh, maybe I can come see you. I'm going through. I'll be
going, from Miami all the way up to New York and
then to Chicago. So I'll be going. Oh,
I'll swing by.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (51:30):
Yes, Yes. I would love to
see you in.
>> Wendy Valentine (51:33):
D.C. workout in the RV. You can show.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (51:36):
Oh, fun.
>> Wendy Valentine (51:37):
Oh, my God.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (51:38):
I would love. Seriously, Will you
reach out if you get up here?
>> Wendy Valentine (51:43):
Yeah.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (51:43):
Okay. Okay. Be m fun.
>> Wendy Valentine (51:45):
Yeah, I'll. I'll end up. We're still trying to figure out the.
The tour cities and dates and stuff, so it'll be
fun.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (51:52):
Awesome. Awesome.
>> Wendy Valentine (51:53):
Yeah, I got. And that's the thing. I got to have lots of energy
for that, so I can do it.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (51:58):
Yes, yes, you can totally do it.
>> Wendy Valentine (52:00):
Me, woman. Hear me roar.
All right, thank you so much, everyone. Have a great day.
Did this podcast inspire you? Challenge you?
Trigger you to make a change or spit out your coffee.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (52:13):
Laughing.
>> Wendy Valentine (52:14):
Good. Then there are three ways you can thank me.
Number one, you can leave a written review of this
podcast on Apple iTunes. Number two,
you can take a screenshot of the episode and share it
on social media. And tag me Wendy
Valentine. Number three, share it with
another midlifer that needs a makeover. You know who
I'm talking about. Thank you so much for listening to
(52:37):
the show. Get out there and be bold. Be
free.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (52:40):
Be you.
We're inherent athletes, right? And it's important for
(00:02):
women to feel that way. It gives us
confidence. We have strength. And that's what
I'm hoping that the book shows
is that, like, this is something innate in us.
we are badass, muscular creatures
by history and by nature. And,
just the weightlifting and the athleticism and the
(00:23):
nutri. All of it, like, kind of rekindled
all of that for me. And so, like, the journalist in me
wanted to dig in and find out, like,
more like, why didn't I.
Why wasn't I getting this before? And what's the story
behind that?
>> Wendy Valentine (00:40):
Hey there, beautiful. I'm Wendy Valentine, your host
of the Midlife Makeover show, where it's never too
late to wake up to your best life. Whether you're
navigating a career change, empty nesting,
menopause, or wondering what's next, you're in
the right place. Every week, a bring you real
talk, laughs and inspiring conversations
(01:00):
with experts and extraordinary women who have
transformed their lives from self care and
relationships to starting over and finding freedom.
This is your time to reinvent,
rediscover, and reignite the woman you were
always meant to be. So hit that subscribe
button and let's rewrite the rules of midlife.
Your new adventure starts now.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (01:26):
Foreign.
>> Wendy Valentine (01:33):
Ladies, have you realized how
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She's answering emails, flipping pancakes, solving
world problems, scheduling doctor's appointments,
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and. And somehow still finds time to
(01:55):
put on mascara like she's in a Maybelline commercial.
We truly are magic. And
have you ever seen two girlfriends get together to
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multiply that energy by hundreds of
(02:17):
women. Game over, world. We're coming
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wakes up, it ripples out. It's the
butterfly effect. And this is
(02:39):
the moment. So if you've been meaning to
join, now's the time. This is
your last call to be part of something
bigger than a book. When you join the
Women Waking up team, you'll get the advanced
PDF copy of my book, Women Waking
the Midlife Manifesto for Passion, Purpose
and Play. You'll get to read it in July
(03:03):
before anyone else in the whole wide world.
And on, launch day, September 9th, you'll leave a review
on Amazon that helps other women feel
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(03:23):
of girlfriends, invite them to join you.
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We move mountains. Hello.
So come on, let's do this. Sign
up@wakeup team.com.
(03:46):
together we rise. Together we wake
the world. Now let's get into
today's show.
Welcome back to, the Midlife Makeover Show. I'm your host,
Wendy Valentine. And today's guest is going to
flip the script on how we think about our bodies,
our, strength, and the stories we've been told for
generations. Ann Marie Chaker
(04:07):
is a veteran journalist who spent over two
decades reporting for the Wall street,
covering everything from politics to cultural trends to
breaking news, including the events of 9
11. But in midlife, Ann
Marie took on a new beat, her own body.
She became a professional bodybuilder and wrote the
(04:27):
viral article, I never thought I'd write this. I
am a female bodybuilder, which has been viewed
over 500,000 times. Oh, my gosh. You
go, girl. In her new book, Lift
with the most amazing, gorgeous cover, Ann
Marie dives deep into how the modern obsession
with thinness has limited women physically,
(04:47):
emotionally, and even politically. But
here's the twist. By building strength,
women can break free from body image
insecurities and reclaim true power.
We're going to talk about her journey, the history behind
diet culture, and how every woman in midlife can
redefine what it means to be strong.
Please welcome Ann Marie to the
(05:09):
show.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (05:16):
Y' all.
>> Wendy Valentine (05:16):
We have been talking for probably 30 minutes before
we started. Oh, are
we supposed to do it?
>> Anne Marie Chaker (05:23):
I felt like we could keep going. It was fun. So
I love your life. I, like, I was getting a little window into
your, your life there and.
>> Wendy Valentine (05:30):
Yeah, I know my wild life. You know, you gotta keep
wild.
so first question for you. How did you
go from being a journalist to being a
bodybuilder? What inspired you?
>> Anne Marie Chaker (05:43):
Yeah, so it was, like
many things, it was a story kind of
born of struggle. I was in
a very unhealthy way, at some
point, in my life where the shit
really hit the fan, as it does for many of us. At some
point, I had just had my second baby
(06:03):
and Was really struggling with,
postpartum stuff, depression.
and then a couple weeks of
that, I was nursing my baby on the couch and a
neighbor came over to tell me my dad suddenly had a heart
attack while walking the dog. I mean, I just spoken to my
dad about like a grocery run. So
that was hugely devastating.
(06:26):
finding dad, just a. They, My folks
lived a couple doors down. and then my
marriage disintegrated. So it was like boom, boom,
boom, within weeks of each other. You know,
my dad was gone, my husband had left and I had
this baby and wasn't doing so hot. I think I
counted something like 11 days of
(06:46):
not being able to sleep. Which I know sounds completely
insane, but it's a sign of deep depression when you
just like cannot sleep sleep. Right. So, a
neighbor of mine, a friend came over and we were kind of cross
legged on the couch and I was crying and she said, just
have a glass of wine to help you sleep. This is
insane. So that's where it started. I
started. I was never much of a drinker before, but
(07:09):
had half a glass of wine to take the edge off and then it
became more. And then that became more in a bottle
in there. And this went on for years. I just couldn't
stop. I was really, quite literally addicted to the
stuff. And
all this came to a head one day I was taking, ah, my
daughters to an ice hockey tournament. They played ice hockey at the
(07:31):
time. And we were staying at a dinky hotel,
where the tournament was. And there was a woman,
a hockey mom in the, in the fitness room of this
dinky hotel who was just looked incredible.
She was the mom of like a kid on my team
and I was coaching at the time. And
her muscles were popping. She was beautiful, but
(07:52):
not because she was thin, but because she was really fit
and she really knew what she was doing. Like she was like
logging things in and she had packed a band
with her. I'd never seen anyone do that.
And the way she was lifting weights, I. So I was
looking at her and I was just like,
give me some of that. so I went up with, to
(08:12):
her and I kind of said, you know, what's your deal?
Like, what are you, a crossfitter? What?
I said, you look amazing. I look terrible. I think I have a
drinking problem. so she said, no, no, I do
bodybuilding and blah, blah,
blah. She was talking about like her workouts and she
tracks macronutrients and the nutrition Is a big part of
(08:33):
it. And she has a coach. And I thought, my God, she's like,
intense. But I kind of loved that.
Like, I loved the. So she put me in touch with her
coach and said, she'll work with you. Like, you don't have to be a
bodybuilder. She'll work with you on, like, fitness and
nutrition. And so was a retired
bodybuilder, this coach. So I got home and
I reached out to this lady and that's where my
(08:55):
fitness journey started.
>> Wendy Valentine (08:58):
A very healthy journey.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (09:02):
Yeah. You know, what was
interesting was, yeah, it started
with nutrition. Like, you know,
it didn't start with like, to the gym and like,
like do all these dead. It really.
The coach just kind of looked at what it was I was
eating every day. And we quickly
found, just from
(09:25):
tracking, that I was basically going from coffee
in the morning to mindlessly, you know, whatever
scraps came off my toddler's plates at the time
to wine and. Which
was not exactly the breakfast of champions. Right. so.
So she was like, you're not eating nearly
enough. And that blew my mind because
(09:45):
we've been taught our whole lives to like, that we're always
eating too much and to like, cut your portion sizes
and to like, you know, diet and the number on the scale.
So the idea that like, wow, I should be
eating more kind of rocked my world.
and protein. And she talked to me about
macronutrients. So we started tracking the
macronutrients and focus attention on
(10:07):
protein. And I was eating really well. I
was focusing on whole foods. And,
my craving of alcohol sort of
naturally waned. Just what do
you think is, do.
>> Wendy Valentine (10:20):
You think that was more because of the foods? Was it
a mental thing?
>> Anne Marie Chaker (10:25):
I don't know. I think it might have been a combination of
things. I think, that. And you know, she was
sending me to the gym also,
not for cardio. Which was another thing I'd always
associate with the gym is like, you go there to
burn calories and like run on the treadmill or whatever.
But she was assigning, she was assigning
weightlifting exercises to me. So it was this combination
(10:48):
of, you know, eating really well
and getting my spilkey's out
in the gym through weightlifting. That just kind of
made me feel really good. And
and I just didn't have
this craving. I think maybe
sometimes I don't know if like we reach
for wine or
(11:10):
alcohol not thinking that
we're consuming any, like, it's okay because we're
Just. But it's actually, like. It's stuff that
does something to your body, and it's. It is a
toxin. And, like, you know, we kind of
mindlessly reach for it, but, you know, not.
There's. Not. There's anything wrong with that sometimes. But, like, you
know, it is addictive, and if you're leaning on it too much, you're
(11:33):
probably maybe not making the best food choices.
so maybe that was some of what was happening.
I think the other thing was happening was just, like, I
had always been an athlete in college, and then
that aspect of my life was gone. and,
like, the traditional, fitness
classes never really appealed to me. Like,
(11:54):
I'm not a yoga person. I'm not, like, a
jogger mommy person. Like,
so there was nowhere for my,
you know, stuff to go.
>> Wendy Valentine (12:05):
Yeah. Ah, you couldn't get the energy out, which.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (12:08):
Yeah, yeah, you need to.
So what.
>> Wendy Valentine (12:12):
What did you notice after, like, maybe even
if you can remember, you know, a few weeks after
you were into it, like, what did you notice mentally and
physically, spiritually, emotionally?
>> Anne Marie Chaker (12:26):
my confidence soared.
and what I mean by that
is I just, like,
I started kicking ass at work. Like, I, you know,
would go for a lift, I would come back to my desk, I
would have, like, amazing new ideas.
And. But more than that, like, I was more
(12:47):
productive. I kind of pushed back.
Like, I. I was just, like, felt
comfortable saying no.
and, I heard it in my voice, too. Like,
I would get on the call, on
interviews, like, interviewing people, and I could feel,
like, a sort of athletic
confidence in my voice. And it was kind of like
(13:09):
the feeling was like a homecoming to,
like, the athlete I'd once been and kind of lost
and just kind of feel like we're
inherent athletes. Right. And it's important for women
to feel that way. It gives us confidence.
We have strength. And that's what I'm hoping
that the book shows is that, like, this is something
(13:31):
innate in us. we are badass,
muscular creatures by history and
by nature. And, just the weightlifting and the
athleticism and the nutri. All of it, like, kind
of rekindled all of that for me. And
so, like, the journalist in me wanted to dig
in and find out, like, more like,
(13:52):
why didn't I. Why wasn't I getting this
before? And what's the story behind that?
>> Wendy Valentine (13:57):
Yeah, well, exactly. Like, why is society
not telling us, like, hey, you get. You should be stronger.
You should.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (14:04):
Yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (14:04):
better care of your body. Right. Not just for the
reasons. Right. So I Actually. Oh, do you have your
book with you?
>> Anne Marie Chaker (14:12):
Why, yes, I do.
>> Wendy Valentine (14:13):
Yeah. Please. Look at that thing. It is
so pretty. I. Okay. Is that your arm?
>> Anne Marie Chaker (14:20):
So everybody's gonna ask me this. It
is not. This is
not my arm, but I will say my art. So I had this thing
with the publisher, was just like. I was like, okay, can we put my
arm? Because my arm is just as jacked as this.
But this. But everybody's gonna ask me, like, is that
your arm? And I want to be able to say yes. And
(14:40):
they were like, well, it wouldn't be too complicated.
Exchange. Fine.
>> Wendy Valentine (14:44):
Just say yes.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (14:44):
I had a picture. I know. Maybe I should just be like,
yeah, it's my fucking arm.
>> Wendy Valentine (14:48):
That's my arm. And you should see my m.
Legs.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (14:52):
I even had a photographer to kind of fight for this.
I had a photographer take a picture of me on my arm, and I was like, use
this one.
>> Wendy Valentine (14:59):
Yeah. It's a great, great cover. I love
it.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (15:02):
Thanks. I like it too.
I really like the color. This pink. It's so.
It's like an ironic. I. I just love
this color.
>> Wendy Valentine (15:11):
you had on your Instagram, I think you had found a
fingernail polish.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (15:15):
The nail polish. Yes.
>> Wendy Valentine (15:16):
And I was like, it is. It's kind of like a. I don't know.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (15:19):
What.
>> Wendy Valentine (15:19):
What?
>> Anne Marie Chaker (15:20):
Like a kind of orchid. I think the nail
polish color was like, orchid or something. But it's like. It's an
ironic. It's like, let's go with pink. But it's like kind
of an edgy, ironic pink.
>> Wendy Valentine (15:30):
You know what I love about it? Because it's combining.
It's a good blend of, masculine and feminine energy.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (15:36):
Yeah. Oh, my God, I love that. You nailed
that. Yeah. I love, like, the orange and the pink,
like, and then blues and then.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. so I love it too.
>> Wendy Valentine (15:47):
And I did already start reading the book. It is
so, so good. And today
is pub date for you, which I know, as an author is
a big day, so, yes, it is.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (15:59):
Ready? A Hallmark card for that or something?
Yeah. Right.
>> Wendy Valentine (16:05):
Yes.
so what I would like to do, the book is divided up
into three parts, and it's so brilliant the way you have
it. So Pool, part one is
pool. Pulling Back the Curtain on the Story
of Women's Bodies. Chapter one is the story. Story
of Skinny. How We Got the Idea We Were
supposed to be thin. Dive into that a little
(16:26):
bit. That's interesting. The History
of us.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (16:31):
Yeah. So, you know, I was
telling you about, like, my. You know, I'm this
sample size one. And yet, like,
what's going on here? Like, transformed into this
different person with this weightlifting and this,
you know, focus on more. More and better food.
And,
(16:52):
And, like, basically, the. The best way I can describe
the feeling is that, like, I had come home into this
body that I felt like I was always meant to inhabit. And,
like, that I performed best at.
So, I kind of researched,
like, what does history say about,
like, the way we were once built? And I became really
(17:12):
enamored of this study out of Cambridge,
from just a couple years ago. this woman, this anthropologist,
had bothered to. Nobody had ever done this.
People always compared early women's
bones to early men's bones,
but she. Yeah, because, like,
(17:32):
you know, And then they really focused on the
men's bones because they kind of showed
an interesting trajectory over time
of like, okay, well, here's when men started
using tools more and their bodies became
less muscular, and they relied more on different
tools and as technology. So, you know,
(17:52):
and the women's bodies tended to not
change as much. So the focus was always. But this
woman was really wanted to learn more about these early
women's bones structure. So she compared
them to, women's bone
structure at, Cambridge. The modern students
that were there. A, population mixed of, you know,
students, athletes, more sedentary girls and
(18:14):
so forth. And she found the early women's
bones were the
size of Olympic rowers today. Like,
elite rowers today. Like modern
elite rowers. Meaning, like, these
early women were buff badasses. And.
And this notion that they were
out picking berries in the field while the men
(18:36):
hunted was totally like a
myth. It was not true. These women were
hauling, they were lifting
heavy things. They were obviously an
integral part of agriculture. Hear
me.
>> Wendy Valentine (18:51):
Dog is going, oh, no, no, I can't hear.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (18:54):
Okay, okay. they were obviously an
integral part of agriculture.
So I, So then I started
exploring. Well, there's like, a whole
history of, you know,
skinny, like. So what was the deal with that? Like,
so, right. The. The focus on
(19:15):
thinness actually came
in the latter part of the 1800s. So it's a
fairly recent phenomenon. All this
through these. These early millennia.
Like, we were always these buff, strong badasses.
And so it's only 1860s,
1880s, when food became
(19:35):
more plentiful, and
it's, you know, thin started to become
seen more as a status symbol.
You start, start hearing more about
corpulence, corpulence being something
that was maybe not seen very well.
And then you Know, food
restriction kind of came about,
(19:58):
as like a moral virtue. So there were all of these
threads that were, you know, over the
decades kind of feeding into this,
you know, skinny is good thin, let's
be thin culture. So that's a fairly.
And the other thing that I found, which was really
interesting is these waves of science. Skinny
(20:18):
kind of came about in. At moments
where women started to get more power.
So, ah, that
perhaps it's not coincidence that,
the flappers came about when
women got the vote. and then
when, there was that sort of second wave
(20:40):
of feminism and Equal Rights Amendment and all
of that in this 60s and 70s,
you had Twiggy, and
that. So, you know, then when, in the 80s
when, you know, women started infiltrating the
boardroom and like, you know, became,
you know, working girl in the big shoulder pad, then you
had like, the waifs. So it's
(21:02):
almost like there could be an argument that there was this like,
cultural movement to kind of
keep women in their more childlike,
state, less powerful state at
moments when, we seem to
be grabbing for more power. So. Interesting.
I became very interested in that.
>> Wendy Valentine (21:22):
Yeah, that is, yeah,
definitely in the 80s. I mean, that was like the diet
decade, when all those crazy bits were
coming out. Right. And women were starting today.
Yeah.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (21:36):
You know, this is coming at a moment where we.
>> Wendy Valentine (21:39):
In other words, what is, what is that message
then that we're receiving? If you want
to be more powerful and if you really want
to stand in your truth and if you want, you want to be
a woman, you're going to go do all these badass things.
You need to be smaller.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (21:56):
It's almost like society, like a patriarchal
society kind of telling us to.
Pushing us back into our
place. Right?
>> Wendy Valentine (22:06):
Yeah. Like, we really don't want.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (22:07):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I, think, we are in
this moment now where forces,
that are shaping us have changed. And I think
now you're hearing, I think, in
a really powerful way, like, people in midlife,
(22:29):
women in midlife are, you know, really looking at
menopause, as a
new opportunity. Right. Like, yeah, well,
wait, we don't have enough, you know, doctors
telling us to. How to take care of ourselves and like,
you know, helping us with these symptoms and like,
wait, we should actually be lifting weights. It's
(22:49):
not good for us to, you know, look frail
at 50 and say, actually, you know,
it's not good. Like, osteopenia is not a good thing and
osteoporosis is this is what it is. And we should be live.
Like we're in this moment where like women
are kind of saying what the. Like we. This,
you know, this whole skinny thing hasn't served us well.
>> Wendy Valentine (23:10):
No.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (23:10):
and it's exhausting.
>> Wendy Valentine (23:12):
It's, you know, it's exhausting
around for decades. Just hungry.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (23:18):
Yeah, hungry.
>> Wendy Valentine (23:19):
And I learned that too about like you,
you actually can eat more.
And it, this whole thing of like eating less is.
No, no, like you need body
is your body's creaming more.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (23:34):
Yeah. And there's like the,
it's not our fault, right? Because the messages
are everywhere. From the moment we're born.
It's like thin is at the
grocery, everything is a thin, you know, and like
the jeans are skinny. And it's just like these
messages of skinny and thin are
permeate our entire culture. So of
(23:56):
course we're like all screwed up about it
because it's what we've been fed from day. Day one.
no.
>> Wendy Valentine (24:03):
No pun intended. Yeah, right.
Yeah.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (24:07):
and there's a never enoughness about it
too. Right? Like that was like my whole
struggle, my whole life. It was just like I
wanted to be good. I wanted to like meet this
like idea of perfection. And yet like,
I could never quite. Like, I was never
skinny. Like I could never quite get there. I was always
(24:27):
athletic. I like to eat and like I could never.
So there's just like this
drumbeat of, I don't know,
disappointment and self loathing
and. And so when
I just, I discovered strength, it was just like
a drink of water. And I
(24:47):
really wanted to get under like the why
and the how. And I really wrote
the book to help women understand
that like they have this in them.
And this is how I did it. And this is how
you can do it too.
>> Wendy Valentine (25:04):
I know. It's so good. I love it, I love it, I love it.
Let's see, part two. Building Push.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (25:10):
Push.
>> Wendy Valentine (25:11):
Get it. The first one was pull. Second one is push.
Building a longer life and empowering a new
generation.
Chapter 4. Aging BC
Strength Training for a longer life.
So aging beast fully. I love that.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (25:27):
there's always this, this guy at the
gym. and it's a young guy
and I, I'll admit I grunt when I,
you know, put something down or lift something up. I make noises
and he always kind of gives me a fist bump and
he's this beast and I just kind of love
like he's young enough to be my son and I love that he
(25:49):
could tell. He felt like, he could tell me I was a beast.
So I don't know. I. I guess
part two. So part one is kind of like
where this came from. And then part two
is just like the why,
and the how. Like, this is how you can build,
a strength training approach
(26:10):
and kind of be a beast. And it's okay
to be a beast. It's a, it's something that, like,
we've been kind of engineered to not
be, always taught to be
polite and to be good and be quiet and to live.
But it's okay to sweat and grunt and like,
crash the bar and fist bump the guy at the
(26:30):
gym. And so, and it doesn't have to be
complicated. That's the thing. Like, we get
slammed with so much marketing and,
and you know, you have to balance on this ball with.
It's really, you know, there's maybe a
couple things, three, four things that you can
do. you can do it at home, you can do it at the gym
(26:51):
if you like. Going to a gym, you don't need a lot,
but you just need to start lifting some
weights. And, you know, that
chapter explains how to. How to set it set up your
week, and what to do what you can kind of cobble together
in a given week.
>> Wendy Valentine (27:08):
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(27:28):
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(27:50):
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Now you've got nothing to lose and everything
to gain. How does it help with, with strength
training? How does it help with aging? Whether that be
(28:12):
like, your bones or your muscles.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (28:14):
Yeah, so, strength
training is kind of like the ultimate
protector of bone. It cushions
the bone. you know, women
lose, are susceptible to bone loss
as they age, as you know. So,
by building,
(28:36):
But by building more muscle, we
help, build more
bone matter. so it not only
helps build the bone matter, but it also helps
protect the bone against, damage
and breakage. So it's this beautiful kind
of two pronged thing. So that's why women are
(28:58):
being told to strength train like never before because
it prevents osteoporosis and osteopenia and
it also like, protects against balls.
>> Wendy Valentine (29:07):
I noticed a huge difference. I started strength
training probably, what, a couple of
years ago and I have a amazing trainer
here on the island. And I have
four, three to four herniated
discs in my spine.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (29:23):
Wow.
>> Wendy Valentine (29:24):
I know. And they're so sensitive
to where like, if I'm loading the dishwasher, it'd be
like, shit, you know, like, I'm done.
but since I started strength training,
I have not had a disc pop out
ever since. And m. I totally
believe it's. My back is stronger, my neck
(29:45):
is stronger.
and I just. Yeah, I mean I just feel. But I. And my
posture is better because of strength training.
And I would have to say too, I lose
weight. Like, and that's the thing. If you need to
lose weight, you can lose weight with
strength training. We don't think that we can because we have been
(30:05):
trained to like, you must run, you know, for
45 minutes on the treadmill.
Actually, with strength training, you're
burning calories. Your. Because,
and especially like leg day, you know, like, you know,
leg day, like, that's the day, like, if you think
about it, your legs, your,
(30:26):
your booty, that's a, that's a lot
of muscle going on there.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (30:31):
Yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (30:32):
And when you're, yeah, when you're working those
muscles, you're burning
fat.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (30:38):
Yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (30:39):
And sometimes it's like two days later, I'm still, I
can feel it. I can still feel like it's burning and it's
like such a nice, nice feeling.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (30:48):
Yeah. There's. One of my favorite quotes in the book
was from a doctor, at Mayo Clinic who
said something like, you're building like,
a better metabolic engine for your body. And
it's like having a V8 engine versus
like a V4 or whatever.
yes. So, yeah, you're building a better metabolic
engine. And then also there's a ton of
(31:11):
really interesting research about like
the, you know, the, the mental health
effects of lifting weights. One of
my favorite that just made me stop and think
was the study that
showed, the effects on memory and
how, this researcher compared,
(31:32):
people who did only strength training,
people who did a combination of strength and cardio,
and then people who did, Nothing at all.
or just people who did cardio only and
then people who did nothing at all and then,
showed this population cards and then asked
them to remember the images on the cards.
(31:55):
It was the population who did
strength training only that had the
best memory of what was on
those cards than those that did
strength and cardio and you
even just cardio. So I thought that was really
interesting. Yeah, there's all this like, you
(32:15):
know, and I even feel it. I don't know about you, but like,
I feel like I'll look at myself in the gym
mirror and my first set and I'll look at myself, be like,
oh, you know, and then I'll do like
a set of something and like a look
at myself. Yeah, I'm like, you know, not
bad. Like, and it's not because
(32:35):
I've changed in like the 30 seconds, but
it's because, like, there's something in you
that just kind of. Your endorphins are up, you're
feeling good, you know, your confidence source.
It's always amazing to me. And when I go home after
a good workout, I feel like a brand new
person. It's just like, you can't bottle the stuff.
(32:55):
It's just.
>> Wendy Valentine (32:56):
I know. It feels so good.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (32:58):
Yeah, it feels really good.
>> Wendy Valentine (32:59):
What you were saying earlier, it's like, when you make your muscles
stronger, your body stronger, you making yourself
mentally stronger and emotionally stronger to like, you were
saying where you kind of felt like, okay, you could stand
up and speak up for yourself a little bit better.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (33:14):
Yeah, it's.
>> Wendy Valentine (33:15):
It's really, really fascinating.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (33:17):
Yeah. Yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (33:18):
I was just gonna make one other point. I freaking forgot what the heck
it was. Well, you can tell I'm not in the strength
memory.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (33:26):
I do this.
>> Wendy Valentine (33:31):
I was thinking, I was thinking, like, I not only
work out for my 52 year old self,
I work out for my 92 year old self. I always.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (33:39):
Yeah, I love that of the Wendy.
>> Wendy Valentine (33:42):
When she's in her 90s and I
want her to be like, thank you so
much for taking care of me, for
eating well, going to the gym,
sweating, whatever you had to, like. I want her
to be thanking me one day
for everything that I've done for her so that
she can take a walk in the park. She can. And here
(34:05):
in Madeira, like, the hills are like, it's like basically like
a triangle.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (34:09):
Oh, wow.
>> Wendy Valentine (34:10):
Yeah. I mean, I, I want her to be
able to do all those things and play with the
grandkids and to still travel in her
90s, so I encourage everyone
listening. Think about your
80 year old self, your 90 year old self and
think about you're taking care of her
today. Yeah, like what you do today is going to affect you
(34:32):
tomorrow.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (34:33):
No, totally.
Longevity is like a, another big.
I mean there's so much interest right now in
longevity. And here's the other thing that my book takes
apart is another reason like women are so
much more badass than we give ourselves credit for
is that in a lot of ways we are
stronger than men.
(34:54):
we live longer than men. I
mean with all of the attention on like the Broie culture
of like you know, exchanging blood with
our sons and like,
like actually for, for as long as records
have been kept, women live
much longer than men and like three quarters
(35:14):
of the centenarians that have been recorded and
it's are women. So that
was one. And then like there are studies on
fatigue. It's like yeah, on average a man
might be able to like lift
a heavier thing, but women,
there's all these like studies that show that women
(35:34):
can outlast men in terms
of like their ability to hold
positions or stamina out.
Stamina?
Ah. And what was the other thing
like our muscular makeup is
one like men's must. Men have more type
(35:55):
2 muscle fibers where quick,
you know, quick reaction type musculature,
whereas we have like more fatigue
resistant, muscularity. So
there's all this fascinating research about
how women are really not the
weaker sex at all and that, you know, the book makes
(36:15):
an argument that we should really like be capitalizing on that.
>> Wendy Valentine (36:18):
Yes. Yeah, that's, that's fascinating.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (36:21):
Oh yeah, can't wait to read the rest.
>> Wendy Valentine (36:24):
okay. Part three is lift
Taking our bodies back. Chapter five is
the mental game. Don't overthink and find your
why.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (36:34):
Yeah, yeah, find your why. And your why
is like it's something that can change,
you know, all the time. you know I
like, I'm proud of like my
bodybuilding and I'm competing
right now and bodybuilding is a big
part of what I do. it's part
of my identity. but I'm also like,
(36:56):
you know, there will be a time where maybe I don't
do that anymore and I
still plan on strength training but maybe my why will
be like your why. Like you know, I'm doing this
to like live a long life
and be able to see my grandchildren and play with
them and like, you know, be able to travel and do
(37:16):
all the things like when I'm in when I'm in my
70s and 80s. I don't want to lose those decades.
so yeah, being in touch with your why.
And I would, you know that right.
>> Wendy Valentine (37:29):
Now back, back then you're. I'm guessing.
But maybe your why was just to give you some,
some sense of purpose. Getting out of the. And
overcoming the addiction. And sometimes
like that's the best thing.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (37:42):
I had lost myself. I really felt like
I had lost myself. I looked in the mirror and I
was just like, I could see it in my fate. Like I
didn't look happy. I looked. It wasn't
because I was, I was not really overweight per se, but
I just looked like out of shape and
unhappy and just you could see the loss. And I
(38:02):
just felt like I needed to reconnect with that
like kick ass girl of my youth.
Like, where was she? And you know, exercise
really did that for me.
>> Wendy Valentine (38:13):
Bring back your, your super she
rose.
let's see. Oh, Chapter six. Building your routine.
A guide to beasting out. That's what I
love. So I'm guessing then you provide a routine
in there with weight.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (38:29):
Yeah, yeah. And really kind of like ease people
in. So like, you know, just to start,
like ask yourself, are you
a gym person? Because not everybody is into like going to
a gym and that's okay. I kind of like
both. So you know, having a few things at home and here's what
you need at home to kind of set up a regular
(38:50):
practice. And you don't need much like
I would say a couple pairs of dumbbells.
A band is good and they're like totally
cheapo. You can get five dollar band off Amazon.
like a bench that you can adjust the
incline is really good to have and I
feel that you have a pretty decent setup
(39:12):
and that doesn't take up a lot of room. If you want, and you
want to build then like, yeah, later, a barbell,
like an Olympic barbell and a squat rack. But you don't need that
to start. and then
you know, gyms are great if you want to sign up for gym.
Nice thing about the gym, they have more stuff, there's
more space, there's other people there. So if
(39:33):
you're, you know, if you like, you
know that social, like I actually kind of
like, you know, getting out of the house and like seeing
new people and being able to.
>> Wendy Valentine (39:44):
Yeah, I think it motivates you too. You see other people working
out.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (39:47):
So like. Exactly. They're playing their music and
that's good. Yeah, yeah. but then also, like, it's good
to have stuff at home, too, on the days you don't feel like going out, but you
just want to get something in. So kind of
take people through that and then how to organize
your workouts. Like, I, think of them
in terms of splits. So one day might
(40:07):
be more of, like, a leg and butt day.
one day might be more of a leg and kind of
hamstrings day. I'll do two leg days
a week. one
day might be, like, more back
and biceps. Another day
might be chest and triceps. So aiming for,
(40:28):
like, three or four times a week. And, you know, it doesn't
have to be like, an hour. You can think of
it in terms of, you know, 30 to 40 minutes
getting, like, three, four sets of,
of things done. And then, you know,
my coach always says something is better than nothing.
So. Yeah, whatever. Whatever way
(40:49):
makes the most sense. But just, like, I even.
I've heard of people putting things in different corners
of their house just so that, like, when they walk by,
they see it, and then they. They'll know to do, like, a.
A few sets of something. So whatever, you
know, Whatever. Whatever works for you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (41:08):
Even, I think I shared with you earlier, but even in the rv,
like, I had a few weights. I had
the bands. I don't even know
what they're called. You know how, like, you put the band around
your. Your thighs and you do, like, kind of
like the moving squats?
>> Anne Marie Chaker (41:25):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I would do that.
>> Wendy Valentine (41:27):
I mean, the RV is. I mean, it's 100 square
feet, and my hallway.
Hallway, if you will, with the whole thing. I mean, it's
like maybe this wide.
It's not that big, but you can make it
work, right? So I literally would go from, like, I would take
the van, and I would. I would move from the bathroom
(41:47):
over to the cab, back and forth.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (41:50):
Yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (41:50):
And then I would even do, like, on the back of the.
The kitchen counter, I would do the, like, where I'd.
I'd kind of, put my hands back there
and then put my feet up on the couch, and I would just, like.
I don't even know what those are called.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (42:03):
Tricep dips. Yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (42:05):
But I mean, where there's a will, there's a way.
And.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (42:08):
Yeah, and I would say, too.
>> Wendy Valentine (42:09):
I don't be curious what you think as well, but,
I mean, some. Some women can be
intimidated by going into the gym and all
the weights or even doing it at home. There's A
ton of apps out there where
they show you how to do things if you need a little bit more
instruction. I had a friend, Amy,
(42:29):
actually, that she, she hired a trainer
just, just so that this trainer would just
create a routine for her. Like, she went, just
only like maybe three or four times with this
trainer, just so she would like, okay, this machine,
this is what you're going to do. And this on these days.
And that helped her just to get going and
(42:50):
to have that confidence to go into the gym by herself.
So you just figure it out and yeah,
I mean, God, YouTube, there's tons of stuff.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (42:59):
There's tons of stuff on YouTube.
you know, if you join one of the gym, take advantage.
Sometimes they'll give you like a freebie two, three sessions with
a personal trainer. Take m it because
first of all, get them really put them to work,
get them to help you set up a routine that
you can follow every week. And,
(43:20):
it also kind of helps you learn what the different piece, some of the pieces
of equipment might be foreign to you. Helps
you learn what's available. I will say I did a story
recently, where I interviewed, like, gym
CEO. Some of these, like, women are
infiltrating these spaces like never before.
it's great. Like, when I started, I,
(43:40):
there were very few women in the gym. This was before
COVID 2019 was when I kind of started my,
strength training journey. And I was feeling far.
Now it's like 50,
55% of people who are in the weight
rooms are women. This is wonderful. And I
always make a point to be the weirdo, to
(44:01):
like, reach out to a woman next to me or whatever and be like,
hey, good memory.
It was great. Like, whatever kind of like
gets you chatty. Like, it's important for
women to kind of get to know each other and take up space
in these spaces as well.
>> Wendy Valentine (44:17):
Yeah, I think too, like, with weights, you just. There's only
weights can give you that certain type of look and the cut, like when you're
wearing a sleeveless dress or, you know, it's just
like. And it's nice. Like you look in the mirror like,
you know, and you don't have to be like super buff, but just a
little bit. Nice tone. It like, gives you nice
tone.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (44:36):
Yes. Yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (44:38):
So last but not least, chapter seven. Eat like a
bodybuilder. The value of protein and
other. And it got cut off.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (44:46):
Oh. And other macronutrients. Yeah, that's what it was.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah. So
bodybuilders Think of food in terms of, like, the big three
macronutrients, which is carbs,
proteins and fats. And,
the main name of the game, I would say, is
meeting enough, ah, protein. So if you're
(45:07):
really, like, devoted to the
lifestyle and like, trying to lift weights,
ideally you should be getting
about a gram of protein per
pound of body weight. So I consume somewhere between
120, 130 grams of,
protein a day, which suits me fine.
(45:29):
I'm very active, I lift a lot of weights and
I'm very hungry. So, so. And I'm a
unabashed carnivore. So, so,
yeah, and then like, carbs is
something that has been vilified. but,
you know, carbs are important. It should be
about 50% of what you consume.
(45:49):
so I talk about, like, what I
eat in terms of my favorite carbs. and then
fats are fats won't make you fat. I consume, about,
ah, 15% of what I consume is in
healthy fats. So, the name of the game is just
kind of staying ahead and like, prepping your fridge,
prepping your meals ahead of time. I really try not to
(46:10):
eat out very much.
I just, like, it's nice. But I used
to rely a lot on quick
takeout. And, I've really kind of
focus more on eating at home and grocery shopping
and meal prepping for the week. And what I mean by
that is, you know,
(46:31):
the old Tupperwares and I kind of stash, like, I always
have like, a big salad, at the ready.
I. My carbs. There's usually, some
cooked white rice in a Tupperware. I have some,
boiled potatoes or sweet potatoes in another
Tupperware. And then I have,
cooked up some protein. So it could be like
grilled chicken breasts. It could be
(46:53):
turkey crumbles. I like to combine, 93
and 99 Turkey with me a little taco
seasoning or whatever. what else I
got in there? I mean, liquid egg whites. I do a lot of
smoothies. I put liquid egg bites in there, pure
eggs. so, you know, from there you can
cobble together lots of different,
lots of different meals, for yourself, for
(47:16):
the kids. you don't have to. It
doesn't. Eating well doesn't have to mean recipes and
sauces and.
>> Wendy Valentine (47:23):
Yeah, I know. I've kind of gotten away from that myself.
Having, you know, with raising three kids and
cooking dinners. And now it's like, oh,
I'm happy with Just good old piece of, you know,
sauteed chicken and a salad on the side.
Yeah, no, not that. I'm just like.
And it's too not to have a bunch of additional
(47:45):
stuff on there. I use more herbs and spices now
than I did before, but keeping very
simple. But yeah, you're right. It doesn't.
It doesn't mean that it's going to take even more time.
It's like if you just. Just cut that time out
of your schedule. Like, okay, I'm going to go to the. Go to the
store, get all these things for the week, and then you're kind
(48:05):
of glad that you did all that. Then it's like for the rest of the week, you're like,
ah, I got Tupperwares full of stuff. You know, it
makes it so much easier.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (48:12):
Yeah, yeah. No, I think it's a good way to be.
So. Yeah, that's. Those are my greatest hits.
>> Wendy Valentine (48:18):
I'm going to the gym tomorrow. So I'm like, what,
what, are you working tomorrow?
>> Anne Marie Chaker (48:24):
So I. Tomorrow
is going to be some upper body and,
some cardio. I'm cutting for my next competition later this
summer, so. Car the card.
The old cardio gets kicked up a notch these days.
I've, I've really started just to mix things up a bit. I've started
going to Orange Theory. there's an Orange Theory a
(48:46):
couple blocks from me and, I think they do a great job.
I really like the energy in there. Not I don't every
day, but, a couple times a week. Just sometimes it's just
nice to tell someone else telling you what to do and
playing the music and it's good.
I like the. I like the orange.
>> Wendy Valentine (49:02):
Yeah, I just. I. Same. Well, not an orange Theory, but I.
I actually belong to two gyms and it's kind of nice because
it changes it up a little bit. Different people.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (49:10):
Oh, yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (49:11):
Different class.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (49:11):
Yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (49:12):
And I love. In classes, like, I
love spinning.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (49:16):
Do you?
>> Wendy Valentine (49:16):
yeah, it's like meditation for me.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (49:18):
Yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (49:19):
I wish it would be appropriate to sit
and take notes on a spinning bike because I'm like, I'll come
up with some really good ideas. I'm like, interesting.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (49:28):
Like. Yeah, yeah.
>> Wendy Valentine (49:30):
To me it's, yeah. Very meditative. I enjoy
the cycling. And because of my spine, I can't. I can't
do. I can't run anymore.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (49:38):
Yeah. And.
>> Wendy Valentine (49:39):
But that's. That's part of it too. You kind of learn your body.
What can you do? You learn your body, you just work around it. Like,
there's.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (49:45):
Yes.
>> Wendy Valentine (49:46):
Always something. but. Yeah. And. And to
enjoy it. Like, find something that you enjoy and
not everything we're gonna enjoy. There's. Sometimes I'm like,
hate. Like that machine or this. Or like.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (49:57):
Right.
>> Wendy Valentine (49:57):
Doing it anyway.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (49:58):
Right, right, right. Yeah, Always
kind of. There's something called the perceived rate of
exertion. so on a scale of 1 to
10, 10 being the hardest, it's good
to kind of hit that. 8, 9. Like, maybe you
could eke out one more or two more.
But really kind of like it's m
(50:19):
hard but in a good way, you know? Yeah, I like. I
like that feeling.
>> Wendy Valentine (50:23):
Yeah, exactly. Thank you so much.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (50:25):
This is. Hey, Wendy. This was so fun. You're so.
>> Wendy Valentine (50:28):
I hope everyone gets your book, because
I think it'll be so helpful.
so speaking of, where do we find you? How do we get
the book?
>> Anne Marie Chaker (50:38):
So, my name is Ann Marie Chaker. C
H A K E R. I'm on Instagram, AnnMarie
Shaker. I also have a website, annmarie
checker.com and you can see all the links, where you can get
the book. It's available Amazon, Barnes
and Noble, Target, Walmart, anywhere books are
sold. So, yes, you can also follow me on
(50:58):
substack. I write a substack newsletter.
so it's
annmarieche.substack.com.
>> Wendy Valentine (51:05):
You'Re just everywhere, doing your thing.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (51:07):
All over the place.
>> Wendy Valentine (51:08):
All over the place. Yeah.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (51:10):
Like, Wendy in an rv.
>> Wendy Valentine (51:11):
I know, right? I know. And I'll be doing my book
tour in the rv, so that's gonna be.
Oh, I know.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (51:19):
that'll be great. Social.
>> Wendy Valentine (51:20):
Oh, maybe I can come see you. I'm going through. I'll be
going, from Miami all the way up to New York and
then to Chicago. So I'll be going. Oh,
I'll swing by.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (51:30):
Yes, Yes. I would love to
see you in.
>> Wendy Valentine (51:33):
D.C. workout in the RV. You can show.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (51:36):
Oh, fun.
>> Wendy Valentine (51:37):
Oh, my God.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (51:38):
I would love. Seriously, Will you
reach out if you get up here?
>> Wendy Valentine (51:43):
Yeah.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (51:43):
Okay. Okay. Be m fun.
>> Wendy Valentine (51:45):
Yeah, I'll. I'll end up. We're still trying to figure out the.
The tour cities and dates and stuff, so it'll be
fun.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (51:52):
Awesome. Awesome.
>> Wendy Valentine (51:53):
Yeah, I got. And that's the thing. I got to have lots of energy
for that, so I can do it.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (51:58):
Yes, yes, you can totally do it.
>> Wendy Valentine (52:00):
Me, woman. Hear me roar.
All right, thank you so much, everyone. Have a great day.
Did this podcast inspire you? Challenge you?
Trigger you to make a change or spit out your coffee.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (52:13):
Laughing.
>> Wendy Valentine (52:14):
Good. Then there are three ways you can thank me.
Number one, you can leave a written review of this
podcast on Apple iTunes. Number two,
you can take a screenshot of the episode and share it
on social media. And tag me Wendy
Valentine. Number three, share it with
another midlifer that needs a makeover. You know who
I'm talking about. Thank you so much for listening to
(52:37):
the show. Get out there and be bold. Be
free.
>> Anne Marie Chaker (52:40):
Be you.
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