Thriving Together with Chronic Illness: Mindfulness, Intimacy, and ACT for Real-Life Relationships with Lisa Gray, LMFT

On this The Mindful Living Podcast episode, host Nazish (filling in for Sana) sits down with psychotherapist and author Lisa Gray, LMFT, to get practical about love when chronic illness enters the relationship. We unpack what acceptance really means in Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT), how to renegotiate intimacy beyond sex, why caregiver–patient dynamics can quietly erode connection, and the simple, present-moment practices that help couples communicate honestly without tipping into toxic positivity. If you’re navigating fatigue, shifting roles, resentment, or grief, this conversation keeps it direct and useful for real life. 

About the guest:

Lisa Gray, LMFT, is a seasoned psychotherapist and author specializing in couples work, chronic illness, and ACT-based tools that move partners from fighting pain to living by values together.

Key takeaways:

• Acceptance (in ACT) isn’t approval or giving up; it’s naming “what is” so you can choose the next workable step together.

• Illness trajectories differ (sudden vs gradual). Expect different grief responses and pace negotiations accordingly.

• Redefine intimacy: presence, touch, breath, eye contact, and emotional disclosure can deepen closeness when sex isn’t available.

• Simple practice: sit back-to-chest and sync breathing (in 5, out 5) to co-regulate and reconnect with minimal energy demand.

• Caregiver–patient roles can breed resentment. Schedule space for the healthy partner, and address resentments early.

• Speak excruciatingly honestly about workloads and limits; inequality happens—solve it together (outsourcing, swaps, friends’ help).

• Lead with values, not lost abilities. Keep the same values and adapt goals/activities to current capacity.

• Mindfulness is the foundation (not a fix): be present for small moments of connection you’d otherwise miss.

• Balance realism with hope: “thriving” means staying aligned with love and values through hard seasons, not feeling great all the time.

• It’s okay to take mindful breaks (humor, games, shows). Don’t get stuck in avoidance, and don’t perform toxic positivity.

Connect with the guest:

• Website/Book/Links: https://www.lisagrayauthor.com/

• Best first step: connect with Lisa Gray, LMFT on her professional site or LinkedIn to learn more about her ACT-based work with couples.

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Disclaimer: This video is for educational and informational purposes only. The views expressed are the personal opinions of the guest and do not reflect the views of the host or Healthy Mind By Avik™️. We do not intend to harm, defame, or discredit any person, organization, brand, product, country, or profession mentioned. All third-party media used remain the property of their respective owners and are used under fair use for informational purposes. By watching, you acknowledge and accept this disclaimer.

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