July 16, 2024 • 72 mins
Welcome to the Naked Soul podcast, where we dissolve the barriers between spirituality and the human experience. In our first episode, we introduce ourselves - Shawna Thibodeau and Laurie Oakes and our journeys on a healing and spiritual path. Shawna, a meditation teacher and spiritual mentor, reveals her path from struggling with depression and anxiety to embracing healing modalities and building a successful business. Laurie, a medium and spiritual teacher, recounts her experiences growing up with a spiritual mother, battling her own mental health, and ultimately finding her calling through mediumship and healing work.
This episode explores the power of healing modalities, the importance of following inner truths, and the impact of spiritual practices on personal and professional growth. Join us as we celebrate the highs and lows of their journeys, and get ready to strip away the layers and get naked with your soul.
Shawna & Laurie
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Learn more about Shawna & her offerings: www.shawnathibodeau.com
Instagram: @shawnathibodeau
Learn more about Laurie & her offerings: www.laurieoakesmediumship.com
Instagram: @laurieoakesmediumship
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Welcome to the Naked Soul podcast where we dissolve the barriers between spirituality
and the human experience.
Here we embrace the full spectrum of your journey, celebrating the highs and
the lows, the glimmers and the triggers.
Our mission is to dive deep into the candid conversations that everyone thinks
about but few talk about, breaking the silence and removing the stigma around
(00:23):
the complexities of being human.
Whether you're on a healing journey, an entrepreneurial path or anywhere in between.
If you're ready to shatter the notions of spirituality being all love and light
and embrace radical honesty and acceptance of your soul's journey here,
let's strip away the layers and let's get naked.
Welcome everybody to our first episode of the Naked Soul podcast where today
(00:48):
I'm just going to be telling you a little bit about ourselves, ourselves,
how we got to where we are, and kind of the journey that led us to be starting this podcast today.
So I want to introduce you to Shauna Thibodeau first.
And yeah, tell me what you do and how you got here.
(01:09):
All right. So I am a meditation teacher, a spiritual mentor,
and a business mentor as well.
So I help people with a few different things.
So the first thing is really healing things from our past that might still be affecting us today.
So things like thought patterns, emotions, belief systems, and all of this we store within.
(01:35):
So I help clients start to get aware of these things and then help to heal and release them.
So that is done often Often through the top modalities that I use are meditation,
breath work, inner child work using the internal family systems model by Richard
(01:55):
Schwartz, as well as things like co-creation as well and manifestation.
So those are kind of the top modalities that I use. The second thing I help
clients with is getting in touch with their inner truths.
So that's usually a byproduct of using the modalities that I mentioned.
(02:16):
Connecting to our inner truths is a byproduct of those things.
So when you do things like meditation, breath work, journaling, reflection,
you can start to identify like what part of me is conditioned from the past
and from society and what are actually my inner truths.
(02:37):
So I help clients get in touch with that. The third thing is really creating
a new reality based on what we're thinking, feeling, where we want to go.
So using intention and things like co-creation.
And what I have found is that the thought patterns, the belief systems,
the emotions that we're sitting in each day have a humongous effect.
(03:04):
Humongous, yeah, effect on the reality that we are creating.
So really helping clients to, yeah, shed what isn't serving them and step into belief systems,
thought patterns, ways of thinking and feeling that actually align with what
they truly desire and what is authentic to them.
(03:26):
And then the last thing is I help holistic wellness spiritual entrepreneurs.
Build their businesses from scratch or help to grow and improve already existing businesses.
And that came about from the last 10 years growing my own business quite successfully
and moving from leaving nursing and moving full-time into entrepreneurship.
(03:50):
So I help those people with a combination of that mindset and healing work combined
with strategies that have really helped me. Yeah, to help their businesses go.
So I mean, you mentioning that you were in nursing for so many years,
like, how did the transition from nursing into this work come about?
(04:13):
Yeah, so we will go back to when I was first really struggling with depression and anxiety.
So that's really where all of my work stems from.
I started struggling when I was 13 years
old really noticing I was experiencing
depression and anxiety and just masking it
(04:35):
as I got into my teenage years just trying
what were the signs for you because I
think a lot of people especially like that young just think it's normal so like
what kind of like what did you feel that you were like I think that this is
depression yeah I wouldn't say I noticed or I didn't have the awareness probably around like 13,
(05:00):
14, probably around 15 was when I just felt down and everything just felt non-exciting, I would say.
It's like I just felt a numbness, sad.
I was having unsafe thoughts pretty early in age.
Yeah, and I think just not feeling excited about life.
(05:23):
Yeah, which is such a young age. Yeah, it's such a young age.
And then anxiety as well, where I noticed that fearful thoughts were keeping
me from doing things, putting myself in different places.
I was like anxious to go into certain situations. So that's when I started to
(05:44):
notice that anxiety was playing a role in how I was actually showing up.
Yeah. So those were probably the first, like the main signs when I was younger.
And would you say that it was that experience that brought you into nursing?
Definitely contributed because I struggled, my family tree on both sides have
(06:06):
struggled with depression, anxiety, and substance abuse.
Oh, wow. Yeah. So I think seeing myself struggle, seeing family members struggle,
that really interested me into mental health.
And so I was in school at first for kinesiology.
And then like a lot of people feel, what am I going to do with this?
I kind of just picked it, right?
(06:27):
So yeah, like, yeah, you have to choose something to do something. Yeah.
So I chose kinesiology first, but then depression, I was experiencing it even more.
And I think that played into it too, where I was like, I know I'm going to school
for this thing, but like, I'm not excited about it.
Other people were in the program
(06:47):
in kinesiology they were going into physiotherapy sports
therapy those were kind of the top careers coming
out of that and I didn't feel excited about any of those yeah so I just looked
at those people I was like that's cool that you guys are so excited but like
I'm not at all so that's when I went to a career counselor at McMaster because
(07:10):
I was at McMaster for kinesiology and then they recommended actually,
we spoke about like what courses I was actually interested in.
And they were like, have you ever considered nursing? Because what I did like
at the time was like health courses and like nutrition.
And I loved learning anatomy and things about the body.
So I was like, okay, nursing scenes, I can get a bit more excited about nursing,
(07:34):
it feels a bit more aligned.
And then once I was in nursing, and because of my history, because of family
history, that's when I started getting interested in mental health nursing,
right. But unfortunately, at the same time, my depression worsened.
So I was in nursing school. I was going to get this degree.
I still didn't. The depression was overpowering any excitement for the future.
(07:57):
I was also experiencing extreme anxiety, social anxiety, performance anxiety
at my nursing placements.
So I would almost I would have
to go to the bathroom and I'd almost be on the verge of vomiting from
anxiety as you're saying this I'm thinking about like how ironic almost it is
(08:20):
that like for people going through for mental health nursing there wasn't any
like mental health support for you
yeah technically at that point I wasn't specializing in mental health yet.
But it's just ironic in general that those kinds
of supports yeah don't exist yeah and i
(08:40):
had a i had a moment with a preceptor who
pulled me aside and asked do you even want to
be here it doesn't seem like you want to be
here but it was because of crippling anxiety that i
was struggling with and i was like i do want to
be here and she's like because you just
seem like you don't want to be here but really it was
(09:01):
like a lot of struggle on the inside so that
again just shows that we never really know what's going on with a person they
could just seem like they're disengaged but inside they could actually be like
really battling yeah humongous things it's like that resting bee face that's
basically what she was indicating yeah he's like you don't want want to be here.
You have a resting piece of hay.
(09:23):
But probably inside, I was like, yeah, just so anxious about everything. And yeah.
So that it was around that time that I really.
Decided I needed to do something about my
mental health because everything was just
feeling dark and I also had
(09:45):
this moment where I thought okay if this is originating in the mind I wonder
if working with the mind can actually do anything to help it so I remember having
that thought and I started with counseling so I just went to the campus counselor
but that I didn't have a a good first experience.
It just felt like she was asking me to lay everything out, but then not giving
(10:10):
me any helpful tools. Yeah.
So I was like, this, this doesn't feel super helpful.
But I was in the waiting room to book my next appointment. And I saw a little card on the side.
And it was actually for a psychologist that worked downtown.
And his card had a pretty little tree on it.
(10:33):
And,
resonated with trees for some reason and there
was a quote on the card too that really resonated with me and I picked it up
and I brought it home I put it in my pocket and I brought it home and didn't
even know if I was gonna do anything with it when I was sitting at that night
I remembered that that card was in my pocket so I pulled it out I looked up his website site.
(10:58):
And he had a lot of spiritual quotes on there.
And I didn't, I wasn't spiritual, didn't grow up with spirituality,
didn't grow up with religion.
So all of this was like new language
to me, but something when I read it resonated with me. And I was like.
Feeling a draw, which we'll talk about a lot. Yeah, I think that's something
(11:20):
that a lot of people can understand, but can't really be put into words is it's
just like, this feeling exactly.
And like, it makes no sense. But you're like, for some reason,
I need to follow this. Yeah, yeah, I felt that feeling.
So glad. Oh, my God, so glad I followed the nudge within. So I looked up his website.
And his counseling was quite expensive, because he was a psychotherapist.
(11:45):
But I was like, you know what, this is worth it. I'm feeling drawn to it. Let's just go.
And I sat across from him during our first appointment.
And he recommended that I join his eight-week MBSR program, which stands for
Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction.
And it is a meditation-based program created by Jon Kabat-Zinn,
(12:08):
who really brought meditation from the East to the West into medical centers.
So that's what he's really known for. And didn't know what meditation was.
I asked him, like, what's meditation?
And he said, well, we get quiet, we follow the breath.
And I'm thinking, how does that help anything with what I'm going through,
(12:30):
you know? But again, something drew me to it.
And I said, Okay, let's just commit to this. Let's commit to this eight week program.
It was three hours a night once a week. So that's my God. Yeah.
So it's like a commitment. Yeah, that's not a small commitment,
especially when you're like, I have no idea what this meditation stuff is.
Exactly. So it's actually ironic that I was like, Yeah, let's do this.
(12:53):
And each week went to the class. And yeah, slowly, I just started.
I remember when I first started, I'm like, what is this meditation?
Like, what are we doing here?
But slowly I started to grasp what he was saying in class.
And basically he was getting us to distinguish between like when we are focusing
on a point of focus in meditation,
(13:15):
so say the breath, and then he would get us to notice the commentary that wasn't
that, you know, you're better able to notice the commentary when you're trying
to focus on something. thing.
And then we look at that commentary, like, what are the patterns of it?
How is it causing you suffering?
So that was the first time that I was able to kind of separate and be like,
(13:36):
whoa, my thought patterns are causing a lot of suffering.
And then by also focusing on one point of focus, you're bringing your brainwaves
from like high beta brainwaves into lower alpha brainwaves, You're experiencing
this kind of calm that I've never experienced before.
So that was what I noticed week after week was I was starting to access this
(13:59):
place of peace that I had never accessed before.
And then I was better able to start catching the commentary and looking at it
and seeing how it was causing me so much suffering.
So interesting how we know no different until we experience
something that's different and you're like oh oh I
am suffering or I am anxious or
(14:21):
like you don't have to feel this way all the time
yeah which makes me also think like it's so hard to
notice our thought patterns that we're stuck
in until you experience some distance
from them yeah I always use
the analogy because I never thought that I was
like gluten intolerant but because I
(14:42):
was eating gluten every day right and so it's
like okay like let's experiment and like cut gluten
out for like a month yeah and just see what happens and so much inflammation
left my body yeah so I always use that analogy with people because it's just
you don't know what you don't know yeah and that's so important and I think
(15:03):
we'll do episodes so is on this for sure,
is like, you have to try something different in order to experience something different.
And it's actually ironic the amount that we don't do that.
Yeah. We just stay stuck in like the problem and we're like,
why am I feeling this way?
But we're not doing enough differently to truly a notice what's wrong or like
(15:27):
and something different to be like, oh.
Yeah. Yeah. Simple in theory, difficult in practice. Yeah. Right. Absolutely. Yeah.
Yeah. So fell in love with meditation during that eight week program.
And then after the eight weeks he had weekly classes
that you could go to if you were like an alumni of
the course and we would basically read a different excerpt from a spiritual
(15:52):
text or spiritual book and we would discuss it and then we would practice meditation
and that was literally my favorite class ever like so much fun I fell in love
with these classes and I fell in
love with all the books we were reading, like Eckhart Tolle,
Marianne Williamson, Jon Kabat-Zinn.
(16:12):
And just I started to that really opened up the door to spiritual authors for
me, where I just dove in and started to understand like life from a more spiritual
lens, which was really neat.
But you still went through with mental health nursing. So still went through.
Yeah. Finished nursing, was able to finish nursing with this skill of meditation.
(16:35):
And then in mental health nursing, I started to do my placement at specific areas.
And I learned more about CBT, cognitive behavioral therapy, DBT,
dialectical behavior therapy.
And I got to actually sit in with groups, group therapy work.
And what that it was a really neat combination of practicing therapy in groups
(16:57):
as like a trainee, and then also doing my own practice this with meditation and spiritual reading.
And this kind of created a really powerful combination for myself of improving my own mental health.
And then that ignited like, so then I went into mental health nursing,
but quickly, for my placements, I was an outpatient, which gave me the opportunity to work with groups.
(17:23):
I started my career. What does outpatient mean?
Outpatient basically means they're not in hospital. Okay.
So they're, they maybe were in hospital, but now they're coming to the outpatient
clinic for like weekly group therapy or something. things.
So probably in a less acute state of their mental health experience. Yeah.
So I went from being in that environment to then going back to inpatient where
(17:49):
conditions are a little bit more.
They're in the heightened, like activation of it, more challenging symptoms.
And my role then shifted again back to more floor-based nursing,
which is a lot of giving medications and monitoring the floor and doing assessments and discharges.
(18:09):
And I felt again, a draw kind of, a shifting away from feeling as aligned again.
And then in my own meditation practice, then I started getting these ideas of
starting up my own business.
And at first I was like, well you know
like we just started nursing and this was
(18:30):
my first year of working as a nurse full-time so
I finally like made it right like I'm like I made it I made it I'm in my career
now yay and then year one I'm having these ideas of like building a business
and there were so many limiting beliefs and different voices from the outside
as to like why would you do that when When you just entered your career.
(18:52):
But in meditation. And this again is showing how you can access inner truth through meditation.
Because all these ideas were coming up through meditation.
Yeah. Basically I. They wouldn't go away.
They wouldn't go away. That's the. You can try to ignore it.
Yeah. You could try to ignore the truth.
(19:13):
But they'll keep knocking at your door.
So basically I was like okay. Okay, I think I need to start following this.
And the first step was to get trained as a meditation teacher.
So I found a training program and love that training program as well.
So again, I was I always felt most aligned when I was like, involved in these
(19:35):
communities and doing my practice.
And after got trained in meditation, then I started teaching community classes
in In Niagara, and that was back in 2014.
Okay. Again, I had to work through a ton of my own limiting beliefs,
work through my anxiety, my performance anxiety, social anxiety.
(19:59):
And that was a huge accomplishment to not listen to those voices,
the voices of the ego mind, and really follow my inner truths and just put myself
out there and start somewhere. Right? Yeah.
We all have to start somewhere. We all have to start somewhere,
yeah. I had a period where I went
a little bit off track because I started dating someone in the States.
(20:21):
And that basically it was a period of thinking that you can do it all and you
can, some parts of your life could be misaligned, but you can still stay aligned in this area.
That was a humongous learning lesson that if you are misaligned in one area
of your life, it's going to affect other areas of your life.
(20:44):
Because basically, when I was dating this person, I was not able to handle working
pretty much full time running a business as well as dating this person across
border and like being social on weekends, drinking too much, etc.
And it was just creating there was a part of me that like wanted to die,
but I was still like keeping it alive.
(21:06):
And I was just trying to like live almost all these different worlds in two worlds.
So that ended that relationship. But that was actually quite heartbreaking for
me. And at the same time, my brother was struggling with his addiction.
And basically, I had to stop my meditation classes and stop.
I had actually started coaching people at that time as well.
(21:29):
I had to stop the practice.
And I actually moved away to Toronto to distance myself from this relationship
and to be closer to home as things were happening at home. So I moved to Toronto.
When I was in Toronto, that's when my brother's addiction intensified,
and then he passed away from an accidental drug overdose. And this was in 2014?
(21:53):
No, sorry, this is 2018 now. Yeah. So we're up to 2018.
And that experience deepened my spiritual relationship,
so much because basically I found I could not meditate in my typical way I would
after he passed away I would try to meditate and I just could not focus,
(22:17):
So basically what I started doing, I just laid on the ground and I just ended
up praying, but I didn't know I was praying.
And I just said, please send me healing. Please send me healing.
And I was doing this one visual of visualizing healing golden light coming in
through the top of my head and filling up my body.
And those were the two things that I just did every single day after he passed
(22:40):
away, probably for three months.
Please send me healing and this golden healing light.
And what I found was after around three months of doing this,
or less even of maybe two months, things started to happen in my life that it
felt like that prayer was getting answered.
It literally felt like this is where I started to believe in a higher power
(23:03):
and the intelligence of the universe and that when we communicate to the universe.
It can actually communicate back.
Because what i found it felt like the universe was like
oh you want healing go to this go to
this try this teacher and it all
happened in very like synchronistic and like funny ways that
you'd be like that this seems weird yeah i think
(23:25):
we should like talk about that for a second because so often
people think that like asking for
healing is just like your pain's gonna be taken away or
like you're not going to be sad anymore when
really it is like the way god universe higher
power communicates with us is like giving
(23:45):
us these little breadcrumbs yeah and like exactly
you have to actually like take that step do the thing and do the thing to then
get the next one yeah yeah absolutely that's a great point yeah so i had to
actually then i had to go yeah then Then you had to go. Yeah,
I had to go into the class.
(24:06):
And it was a woman's circle that I found, which was very lovely.
And actually, it's funny. This is another great point is that I was actually
really triggered by the woman's circle at first because the leader was very
like I was in a grief, depression, dark night of the soul phase.
The leader was like this. She had so much energy.
And I found it very triggering to be around the energy. but something again
(24:30):
that inner nudge was saying like keep going keep going in these circles and
then she posted a retreat that she was having in Costa Rica and.
And I signed up, even though I had this big aversion to her and her energy and just everything.
But something within was like, you need to go.
And like you want to be in that energy.
(24:52):
Yeah, yeah, exactly. So I went on two retreats that year.
One was down at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck.
And that was when I had a really synchronistic moment with a random girl that
wasn't even on my retreat.
She was on a different retreat, but she basically mentioned I should look into
(25:13):
law of attraction, but in like a very just weird way.
Like, and I think I've told you the story where she was like,
you need to look into law of attraction.
And then we stopped. We were like eating lunch and conversation continued.
And then I got up to leave and she's like, hey, you, you need to look into law
(25:35):
of attraction and manifestation.
Didn't know this girl. and I'm like that was such a weird
encounter but the encounter didn't leave my
mind so on the way home I just started downloading
and listening to like Wayne Dyer and that's
when I found Joe Dispenza and I just I had
a six-hour drive home so I just I'm so consumed
(25:55):
I just hit play on
like anyone who was talking about it and to be
honest I thought it was all a bit nuts at first
like i was like okay is
this the way that the world could actually work like you visualize something
and you can shift reality but i
listened to enough podcasts because i had six hours that enough people were
(26:18):
talking about it that i was like like there has to be something here you know
so i got home and i decided that i would spend three months this is what we
call the three month experiment. Yeah.
Yeah. The three month experiment, I said, you're going to try this for three
months without judgment.
And you're just going to see, like, you're going to assess the practice after
(26:43):
three months, you can't assess it before then.
And you're just going to see how it works in your life.
So I hadn't gone on the Costa Rica retreat yet.
But I started practicing manifesting manifestation every single day before going on the retreat.
At that time, I was just manifesting healing and stepping back into greater
(27:03):
inner strength and an improved mood, greater peace, greater confidence, things like that.
And then I went on to the Costa Rica retreat and just had such healing experiences on that retreat.
And I also looked at the leaders on the retreat and I was like,
and seeing the work that they were doing in group.
(27:25):
So it was bringing me back to an experience of that group work.
And I was like, this is what I want to do. It was just like a knowing.
And were you still nursing when you went on this retreat?
Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So full-time nursing, I didn't get any time off after my brother passed away.
I went to a walk-in and the doctor basically was like, you can have a day off. Oh, my God.
(27:50):
So I basically pushed all that down and was like, we're going to keep going. We have to keep going.
So I was working with people struggling with addiction, like four days,
probably after my brother passed away.
And I would have to take breaks in the bathroom to cry.
And yeah, I had to like walk away
from clients or patients sometimes times because it was too challenging.
(28:13):
And I just it felt very it was unfortunate, you know. And I think so many people
experience that where it's just like work is the most important thing.
You just have to put your head down and like plow through it and like cry when
you get home, sleep when you die.
Yeah, we don't honor grief in our society at all.
(28:35):
No, like other societies. It's a norm to almost like take the year off and go into like.
Healing like yeah so I
was still full-time nursing and came
back from the retreat and my manifestation practice really
shifted or not really shifted but just I added things in because I now had clarity
(28:57):
as to what else I desired and I knew that I really desired to move out of nursing
full-time and into entrepreneurship full-time I knew that that was a deep desire of mine.
I also felt like doing healing work, the meditation work I had been teaching
before, after Greg passed away, I asked myself, how am I most useful in this life?
(29:21):
And it really became clear to me that I could actually help people a lot more
if I was helping in the way that I wanted to help in and that was authentic to me.
And that would actually serve or be the greatest gift I I could give myself,
the world and him, you know.
That's beautiful. Yeah. So that I got clarity on that from going on the retreat.
(29:47):
And I started, I also knew that to keep the magic alive that I felt on retreat,
I had to shift something.
This goes back to what we were saying. You have to do things differently.
I knew that in order to keep the retreat magic alive, I had to show up to practices every single day.
Otherwise, you're just gonna, you know, No, you resort back.
(30:08):
Yeah. Yeah. So I started a powerful morning routine of manifestation and Oracle
cards at the time. That was really part of my practice for a while.
And it was just this fun morning routine, but powerful, I realized,
because this morning routine honestly shifted things like so rapidly for me after that morning.
(30:33):
Yeah. Yeah. Because everything kind of exploded for you.
Everything exploded in 2019, 2020, which is ironic because the pandemic happened,
but my business was actually exploding during that time,
which goes to show, yeah, it goes to show the power of the mind and the belief
systems that we fall into.
So many people were telling me like, oh, your business, like it's not going
(30:57):
to like we're going through the pandemic now. But I chose to ignore all of that.
I kept up with my morning routine and my co-creation practices and belief systems
work religiously through that period.
And my whole external world was shifting at a very rapid rate.
So, yeah, I started running retreats that year.
(31:19):
I came back and started running women's circles that year, retreats that year.
And then I built my very first online program that year, combining the practices
that had helped me so much.
And with those three things, yeah, everything just started to boom from there.
So I remember when I met you in 2022 was when you were just announcing your first Italy retreat.
(31:45):
International retreat. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
And I was like, how did you get here? There you go.
Yeah. Yeah. So I think at this point, it's been like over 50 retreats that I've led.
And then it's brought me to different countries as well. At this point,
(32:05):
Italy, Portugal, Costa Rica, we'll be going to Peru.
And then from there, I also grew two more online programs.
So five weeks of manifestation. And then it was around probably 2021 where people
saw the success of my business and they started asking as well, how have you done this?
(32:27):
And I was getting it a lot from yoga teachers, different spiritual entrepreneurs.
So then that gave me the nudge nudge people want
to learn about this which I shifted into
my business coaching program now known
as the abundant soul now known as the abundant soul yeah and I you know I think
that it's honestly like such a a humbling thing to teach other people how to
(32:53):
do this like for me that feels like the ultimate growth in like.
Just an abundant mentality like you
see how many people need this work and
like how powerful this work is and like we can't do it on our own yeah like
(33:13):
there are not enough people out there to offer services to help people heal
and i'm sure like you can make that connection going back to mental health nursing and being like,
if people had access to like coming on these retreats or doing these mindfulness programs.
How much less suffering would we see in like the hospitals and mental health nursing?
(33:40):
Yeah. Yeah, definitely. I know some, a lot, a limiting belief that a lot of
people who want to move into healing work have is that it's oversaturated,
but it's not oversaturated at all.
Like, how could we even say that bringing healing work into the world,
like it's oversaturated, we want healing work.
There are billions of people on this planet, and the majority of them are suffering. Exactly.
(34:05):
Yeah. So it's definitely a limiting belief to think that it's oversaturated
and that you don't have your own unique way of working with people.
I also always say to people, like the odds of someone being free when
this practitioner is running something like there needs
to be so many more options because it's
true yeah yeah so many people want to join retreats
(34:26):
and it's just like this particular date that doesn't work or
yeah exactly yeah and then the
project I'm currently working on is the book yeah so putting all of this story
into a nice memoir for people to yeah really look at the healing journey and
the journey of coming into a life that's more aligned with your soul.
(34:51):
And when can we potentially expect said book?
Yes. So it will either be the end of 2024 or the beginning months of 2025.
And that has been a huge, the idea came into my head on a hike on that Costa Rica retreat.
So in November of this year, that will be six years ago.
(35:12):
So that just goes to show that's
been in my head for six years I've been writing it for six years it's
also been part of my co-creation practice for six years so
sometimes it just shows that some things can come
into reality quicker whereas others take
longer to come into reality but the
(35:33):
faith like if it's within you if
it's this idea that just keeps knocking which is
like this book it just kept knocking yeah
it's like you gotta listen to the inner voice
and it's taken longer to bring
into reality it's taken more trust it's
taken more like persistence yeah it's
(35:56):
funny i'm like i'm getting this like thought of like
who was the first woman to get pregnant and
have no idea how long it was gonna take to birth that child
that's an hilarious thought you know but
it's like it's true for a long time we
didn't actually like measure like months and days
the way that we do now and percentile so
(36:17):
it's just like one day you stop getting your.
Cycle your belly starts growing and you're like I don't
I don't know how far along I am I don't know how many more months
oh my gosh and you're just trusting your
body that's actually so profound
because if more of us could treat our
ideas like that or the projects that we're
(36:39):
working on as like i don't know how
long but i'm gonna take care of
myself and i'm gonna nourish myself and trust that like yeah the birth is gonna
it's coming yeah exactly yeah so that is my story thank you for sharing you're
welcome and we can move to yours this week it's my turn yeah so what What do
(37:01):
you do? What do you help people with? Yeah.
So I'm a medium. I'm a spiritual teacher and intuitive coach as well.
I bring a lot of the mediumship and channeling and intuition work into my sessions with clients.
A lot of people similar to you are facing like really big blocks and limiting beliefs in their life.
(37:23):
A lot of it rooted in childhood trauma as young as like three,
four five six seven years old and they don't consciously remember what some
of those traumas were and I think just to touch on briefly because I know so
many of my clients and I mean even people that we've worked with together are
(37:44):
like no I had a great childhood or like there was no trauma,
Trauma, you know, we can say that there's like capital T or lowercase T,
but it's an unprocessed emotion.
Yeah. Right. And so we have all experienced some level of conflict with our
parents, our siblings. Yeah, conflict, tension, stress.
(38:05):
Yeah. Children on the schoolyard that was left unresolved. And we internalize
that as being a reflection of us and our worth.
Mm-hmm. I think that needs to be like talked about more in terms of exactly
how you said it is like these things that are affecting us today can be,
it's just an unprocessed emotion.
(38:29):
So because I think what you're saying or like what's happening in the world
is exactly what you were saying where people are looking back and being like,
no, I didn't have like any, like I can't remember anything.
Thing. I can't. And I feel like that's a little bit of the lingo that's happening
or has been happening for many years.
And I feel like it needs to shift into like,
(38:51):
And maybe it comes with taking the word trauma right out of it, right?
I feel like especially a lot of millennials grew up with parents who were like, I turned out fine.
And it's like, is that what we want the standard to be? Right.
Like, do we want the standard to be fine? Fine. Right?
So they were raised thinking, and like by no fault of their own,
(39:12):
but they were raised thinking that like, this is normal.
Yeah. Like, oh, you have more than we had.
And then they kind of pass that down to us and we're
like you're doing better than I did like how
many I mean for those of you who don't know
we're in Niagara region Ontario Canada
so we get some bad weather here and
(39:35):
I think a lot of children of parents who grew
up here got told this story of like we used to have to walk
like miles up the hill both way in the
snow know yeah you know so
the the underlying message for so many
of us was basically like stuff it
down you shouldn't be upset don't feel
(39:56):
your emotions yeah and so so
many people reach this point in their life similar to
like the story that you told of just like i
can't keep it down anymore like i
can't hide it anymore and they don't even know why they're
unhappy yeah so that's where my work comes
in and through my ability to channel
(40:18):
what i call god divine consciousness the
universe whatever name you want to put to it we're
able to actually tell them what some of the traumas were and things that happened
in their childhood and just like you said like it's a feeling that you get that
like it resonates with them and it just feels true and a lot of times after
(40:42):
bringing these things to the surface.
They're like, oh yeah, this thing happened when I was a kid and they can remember it.
So it's like it's kind of stuck back here in the subconscious.
And by channeling the guidance,
it like loosens it and brings it up into their conscious mind so that we can
actually work with those emotions and feel them and release them and heal them.
(41:05):
So I've been working with clients one-on-one since 2021.
And this is the work that we do. it looks really
different for everybody because everybody has had
different experiences but I'm
moving more into group work because I'm
(41:26):
recognizing the power of us all coming together and actually recognizing that
we're not so different yeah absolutely and just like you said like this teacher
was like you have a resting bee face and really you're like struggling with
like crippling anxiety.
There's so many people who feel that way. And for them to know that they're
(41:49):
not alone is such a powerful part of the healing journey as well.
So my path is still evolving, just as yours is.
I used to teach mediumship courses. That's kind of on hold for now,
where helping people tune into their
(42:09):
intuition and come back to their soul self is really
happening through the power of retreats now so I
also host retreats we host retreats together
and that's where a lot of this
like coming back to yourself and learning
to trust your intuition is coming
from in my work currently which is really really
(42:33):
my goal at the end of the day is to help people come back to themselves and
remembering and reclaiming their own power yeah because we live in the society
that is programmed to make us believe that there's something wrong with us yeah.
And even within, and I know that this will be like an episode of itself one
(42:54):
day, but even within like the spiritual wellness, personal development space,
there's become this like underlying tone of like you're broken and you need to fix yourself.
And we externalize our power to like all these other people thinking that they
can like fix us and that they know more than us.
And we have everything that we need within us.
(43:17):
And so i'm trying to bring people back
to that truth yeah i'm really
like shedding what isn't them you know
yeah healing the things that are not them yeah
yeah because it's it's a tough pill
to swallow to realize that
like none of this is me right like
(43:40):
none of these thought patterns that you speak of yeah
are me yeah yeah they're well
everything that we like the majority
of things we think are programmed and they're
coming from externally right yeah
and we don't even realize it yeah because on
top of like our mother and our father and our grandparents
(44:02):
like the schooling system and the
messages that are taught to us there are pretty
antiquated the proverbial they you know the just the moment that you're born
as either like a woman or a man there is a pressure yeah and a message that's
being delivered to you yeah and we're so unaware,
(44:26):
of the fact that these things are ruling our lives exactly and that it's not us.
It's not us now I have shivers yeah yeah
so what got on what got you onto your own path oh my gosh the journey there
it's you know there's so many similarities but so many differences in our stories
(44:48):
as well because I know you didn't grow up like you said with a relationship with
like God or a higher power.
But for me, I did. My mom was very spiritual.
And she had dreams that would like happen, like eerily happen.
(45:10):
And she always was really like in tune with herself.
So from a very young age, I wanted to be a medium.
So cool. Yeah. Yeah. I thought it was so interesting, but I also believed that
it was something that you just have or you don't have.
So I looked to all these people and I was just like, oh, they have the gift
(45:33):
and I don't have the gift, which I now understand that this comes from our soul.
We all have a soul. We can all...
Tap into this divine guidance and intuition. But my mother was diagnosed with
multiple sclerosis as young as when I was like four years old.
So my entire life, I witnessed her trying to heal herself and her illness.
(46:00):
And she took a lot of kind of like traditional Chinese medicine approaches to that.
So as the story goes, her doctor, once she was diagnosed, was like you can take
this medicine it's kind of all we can offer there's no cure for this your brain
is shriveling as we speak in less than 10 years you'll be in a wheelchair.
(46:22):
And one day I guess she
woke up and she was like fuck that good for
her yeah and her doctor refused to
see her again because she refused the medicine and
she was just like I'm gonna find something else so I
think that's like a place going back to like
all of our stories as well I feel like that's a
(46:43):
crucial place and time when
you start to say like fuck this like screw like I am tired of living this way
believing this idea and giving my power away giving my power it's that same
thing of like oh well a doctor said yeah that it's gonna be this way yeah so
(47:04):
I'm gonna give my power to
them and she was like no I'm not like you don't know me you don't know what
I'm capable of yeah which was such a blessing for me to witness that so yeah
she was working with this guy like from a very young age I was exposed to weird stuff.
Like we were like juicing funny things and she was making like corn silk tea
(47:27):
and eating chayote and doing qigong and like going for like oxygen therapy. Yeah.
And although she did have like episodes,
which mostly were triggered by like stress and like seasonal changes,
she never experienced really any of the symptoms that they told her that she was going to. Right.
(47:52):
Which was like incredible. She was always able to keep her license.
She did have to stop working, but I got to spend all of this time with my mother
when I was young and growing up.
But because there was this, you know, kind of focus on her and her suffering
(48:13):
and what she was going through, there just wasn't a lot left for the children.
And it'll blame my parents. Yeah.
But there was always and and I
denied it for like my whole life but
there is always this fear that I was going to lose my
mother and there was always this pressure on me to like be good and be quiet
(48:37):
and manage my emotions because I didn't want to stress her out and make her
sick so of course all of this is happening in the mind of like a five six seven
year old girl who doesn't actually understand it.
And I started to hit depression pretty young as well.
I was like 12 years old the summer before I got into grade seven that I developed eating disorders.
(49:04):
And then I went back to school and all of a sudden I had friends and that kind
of reaffirmed that now there's a pressure on the way that I look.
So I had an extreme pressure to like behave a certain way and to look a certain way.
And there was a lot of external factors that were kind of validating that this
(49:24):
was the way that I needed to be.
And I just lived my life in fear of disappointing everybody.
So then you reach high school and there's peer pressure and there's boys. Boys, boys.
And I was seeking a lot of attention through alcohol and men. Yeah. Same.
(49:50):
Yeah. Which got me into some pretty precarious situations.
And I recognize now that I was just acting out and looking for attention and trying to be loved.
But that inner angsty teen can be quite a thing.
And at that point in time, I just didn't really know who I was.
(50:14):
And then it's grade 12 and you're like, you have to pick a career.
Yeah. Just like how you were like, I went through with kinesiology, but didn't really.
Yeah. And I always knew that I had two paths.
Like for whatever reason, I knew I had two paths. And the one was to become
a chef and the other was helping people. But I was like, what is helping people?
(50:37):
And I considered going to school to become like a grief therapist because I
was experiencing a lot of grief.
But I was like, I'm not like, yeah, you're how old when you're like 17,
18 years old. So I went to school to become a chef.
And that's what I ended up doing by trade for 10 years.
(50:59):
And it was a super masculine industry, really long hours. hers.
I didn't, I didn't have much of a life. I was underpaid.
And it was in about 2018 that I mean, so previous to that, it was 2014 that
my mom was diagnosed with cancer.
(51:20):
It was less than a month after her mother passed away that she actually discovered
the lump in her breast herself.
And I had had dreams of going away, whether that was like moving away to work
or like going away for school.
And then this happened and kind of more fear.
(51:41):
And I was like, okay, I can't leave. I can't leave my mother.
So I went to Niagara College, went to school, started working.
And then in 2018 was when her treatment wasn't really working.
They had gotten the cancer under remission and it spread to her bones.
They got it under control.
(52:02):
2018 meds weren't really working anymore. And I was like, okay,
I need to like, I can't do this forever.
That's when I was really like, I was crying on my way to work every day.
I was having panic attacks in the parking lot I was getting physically ill like
at one point in time I had a sinus infection,
(52:25):
that lasted two months and when I finally brought myself to the doctor she was
like what are you doing going to work yeah so that was when I started meditating
kind of similar to you I was I was just like,
I need to find some like peace of mind, some quiet and some relief.
(52:48):
And I was just kind of grasping onto anything that I could.
And two of the people who kind of like I started listening to was Esther Hicks
channeling Abraham in Teal Swan.
Cool. And they started, of course, talking about how we create our own reality
(53:09):
and we create our own suffering.
Abraham Hicks talks a lot about like the law of attraction and manifestation.
And Teal Swan was talking a lot about separation.
Separation and the idea of us
perceiving ourselves as being separate from
everything in this world being the root cause of our suffering and how we project
(53:33):
our stories onto other people and we build up these walls to protect ourselves
from other people and i realized that i was so afraid of being vulnerable.
And at this time too not unlike
you i i was really bad at having relationships with
(53:53):
women yeah yep like working in the restaurants if they hired because i was i
was most frequently like one of the only females that was working there and
if there was another female that they were assigning me to train they would
have to tell me to play nice yeah i remember you telling me that I was like, what? You?
(54:14):
I know. So my relationships with females were really wounded.
And all of this messaging from Teal Swan was kind of waking me up to the idea
that like, oh, it's not them. It's me.
And.
How I kind of started to work with this was actually through doing my Reiki training. Right.
So I started, I actually did my Reiki level one, two and three with my mother,
(54:37):
which was really beautiful, but it was all women.
And so this was kind of my first experience, like being in this group with all
women where I didn't know any better than them.
Yeah, that's really cool. and that's a really neat
similarity between our stories because yeah mine was
also 2018 after my brother
(54:59):
passed away that I was like I need some women
in my life like I don't like yeah and that is through the spiritual healing
groups and the classes the women's circles that I was going to that I also had
my first experience of like healing in a group with other women I think That's
(55:20):
really cool that we both have that experience.
Yeah. And I remember watching the woman who was teaching us.
And I was like, wow, like she's like living at home and like working at home
and making these nutritious lunches and like making money doing something she loves. Yeah.
And it was really kind of this like light bulb moment.
(55:42):
Meanwhile, there was like drama that was happening back at work.
Like I was essentially kind of getting scolded for like
taking this day off and that was
like the pressure building to like get me out yeah
and so I was like okay I
need to move more into my feminine shows
the contrast of those two worlds yeah like the
(56:05):
masculine dominated world and just the feminine and just that
there can be all these worlds exist at the the
same time yeah but what world are
we like living in you know and just like we said
like you don't know any differently until you experience anything
differently yeah and joining this class was like
my first experience seeing something different and
(56:25):
like oh there could be a different way yeah and
so the first step for me was I actually just
I left the job that I was working game
that had these crazy hours and I found myself a job still within the kitchen
but I was working like seven to three or seven to four and I remember talking
(56:47):
to my friends and I was like oh my god like did you see the sunsets like there's
so many butterflies and they're like
what are you smoking yeah and I just hadn't been around to see a sunset or to
see life yeah But the fact that I had evenings off allowed me the opportunity
(57:07):
to join a meditation mediumship group. Hmm.
So I think it was two nights a week that we were meeting and we were practicing
getting messages for each other.
And once I started getting my first messages that were like accurate for people, I was hooked.
(57:28):
It's kind of like a drug. Yeah. It's like, this is so cool.
Yeah. And I had done it before, but I didn't know that you could not to say control it,
but that it was something that you could actually like tap into consistently
versus just like kind of being a coincidence. Yeah.
And so once I realized that, like, oh, you can actually like do this,
(57:52):
I just carried down that path.
But I was stubborn and not letting go of the restaurant industry because I had
all these scarcity stories. We do that.
(58:35):
30 and i was like i want to make that list and so I had just
reached what I thought was the pinnacle
of my career yeah like these mountains that were trying to like get to the top
of and it meant nothing to me yeah like it meant absolutely nothing to me yep
and so it was shortly after that that COVID happened yeah so what COVID
(58:59):
kind of represented from like a global perspective was the shift into a more feminine energy.
Cool. Where we're not working as much. I just got shivers. Yeah.
And so I started offering readings over Zoom.
And people loved it. And I was like, oh, because I had this limiting belief
(59:21):
that people didn't really want these services.
And so I was like, oh, that's not true.
Limiting beliefs are crazy. None of these stories that I'm telling myself are true. Yeah.
And yeah, it just kind of kept snowballing from there.
But similar to you then losing your brother in 2021, June of 2021 was when my mother passed away.
(59:44):
Way and it kind of shook my world up a little bit for me because I wasn't sure if I could.
You you always have to be walking the
talk yeah and I was like can I
walk the talk yeah like can I actually
believe and embody and trust all the things that
(01:00:06):
I'm telling other people and teaching other people
yeah now that it's happened to me right and it
was an ultimate moment of
surrender where I tried to
walk away and it was literally
like every like fiber
of my being could not imagine not doing this
(01:00:28):
work and I actually called
my ex because you know
like we stayed friends so yeah 2020 during
COVID changed careers left my
relationship went through a move and then
my mother like all this stuff happened all at once but we
remained friends and I called him and he said the same
(01:00:50):
thing that he always said to me that always
used to piss me off but at this particular moment of time I was like ready to
hear it and he was like can you become comfortable with being uncomfortable
yeah and I started thinking about all the people that I.
(01:01:11):
I don't want to say like looked up to but looked up
to and I'm like yeah right
like all these people are doing it and trusting it
doesn't mean that it's easy but I do believe that I
can get used to this journey because as you
know like there is no end no there is
no goal like we're never reaching anything yeah
(01:01:34):
and if you think that you've like made it or you've healed
you gotta start right back over again and so
that was a moment where I like just kind of ultimately surrendered
and I was like yes because I trust
in God and I trust in
the path and whatever happens is gonna happen and
I can literally like point it back to
(01:01:57):
that moment where my life like truly opened up for
me but like we talked about it's like
it's not maybe gonna come to you in the way that you think it is so it's two
weeks after my mom passed away I was like given this ultimatum if I want to
do this work anymore decided that I did that I was given an eviction notice
right from your house yeah from my house and I was told that I was gonna move cities.
(01:02:23):
And just as I was wanting to fight it I was like no I have to surrender I have
to trust that like God wants me on like God wants me to be happy and so yeah
I ended up moving to the north end of St.
Catharines it was also divinely guided and I moved in with Amy who's a yoga teacher.
(01:02:45):
And it was she's the one that I ran my first
retreat with and like Amy and her family became my
family when I felt like I didn't have a family anymore and it
was just like such a beautiful place for me to heal and
grow and start my business and amy and
one of her friends natalie were in my first mediumship
course you know this story and and
(01:03:10):
natalie was teaching yoga for you and one day
you didn't have a caterer and she knew that i used to be a chef and was like
hey would you like cater this retreat yeah and that's how we met and i ended
up like living a kilometer away from my in two weeks like in five weeks from now husband yeah.
(01:03:32):
And then, yeah, it was like within a year, like less than a year of that move
that my business had exploded.
I was no longer working any other jobs to subsidize my income.
I was planning on moving in with my partner, with Nick. We were collaborating
on our first retreats together.
(01:03:55):
And now here we are starting this podcast and like getting ready to go back
to Portugal for a second time.
And I think it's like, I think it's so important to remember or even to draw
out of both of our stories is that stepping onto a more onto a path that was
(01:04:15):
more aligned with our souls was so uncomfortable.
Comfortable yeah it did not come without struggle and
I think that's something that you and I both want to
be like pretty consistent in our messaging with
people is like we're still doing this work yeah it was not just like this overnight
yeah success story it was not without struggle like we have to be real yeah
(01:04:41):
because we can both say that we noticed like our businesses expand but But you
also like when we say that,
I want to make sure that we're also saying like it took daily hard work and
being like uncomfortable every day, you know, in these periods of like continuously choosing.
(01:05:02):
Yes, we're going on this path. We're trusting. We're practicing trusting, you know. Yeah.
We're seeing where this is going to bring us. Yeah. Yeah.
It's funny for me though, because I've always been somebody who like figures it out later. Yeah.
Like I, so when opportunities present themselves to me, I've always been able
(01:05:25):
to kind of be like, well, yeah, if it's here, I must be ready for it.
But I've never felt ready.
Like that's the thing is it's like, same. I'm good at just taking it.
Like I'm good at like looking at the opportunity and just saying yes and doing
it, but I've never felt ready. Yeah.
Yeah. I've been the same. Yeah. My first like event that I did was,
(01:05:49):
it was a girl who was doing my eyebrows at the time and she lived in Burlington
and she was like, I'm having this like.
Sip and shop like bender fair at my house would you
want to come and like do readings or reiki there
and i was like yeah sure
and i was charging i think i
(01:06:10):
was charging like 20 for a 15 minute reading and
i didn't think that anybody was going to come
for a reading yeah it was like who's gonna like who's
actually gonna wait and there was a
lineup of like 10 people oh my god so fun
yeah so in like whatever amount of
time that is like an hour and a half two
(01:06:31):
hours I did 10 readings until like
the next time I looked up it was like pitch black outside and like everybody
was like going home yeah and that was it was so wild for me to be like somebody
who's even the third person in line is willing to wait 45 minutes yeah for this
yeah yeah so cool and maybe give us a little.
(01:06:54):
Bit of a background on because you mentioned the word god
so maybe give us a little bit of a background on what
you mean by the word god and also like what
you channel or like how you channel just some information on
that yeah because i had to do
a lot of work to remove the term god from like reformed patriarchal religion
(01:07:15):
i was raised roman catholic and i still am working to To like alleviate the
kind of guilt and shame that came from being raised that way.
But when I say God, I'm just referring
to the soul, the consciousness that created all of us. Yeah. Right.
(01:07:36):
So we are God.
All of our guides are God. Like we are all part of God consciousness. Yeah.
And so, yeah, when I refer to God, it's not synonymous with religion,
whether you believe in the universe, higher power, creator, all of those terms are interchangeable.
(01:07:58):
I just feel fairly passionate about removing God from the kind of loaded term
that we have all put to it.
And the messages that come
through for me like i do i do communicate with passed
away loved ones i do communicate with like archangels
and guides come in as well but the majority of
(01:08:20):
the time you know we kind of simplify things and saying that it's all coming
from god consciousness and these messages are very much pertaining to your soul
path and your purpose so i know so many Many of us like believe that we are
a soul or we have a soul, but we don't really know why we're here.
And this is going to be a whole episode, but we're here to grow and growth comes
(01:08:42):
from learning lessons and lessons present themselves as challenges.
And these challenges, we feel like they're like blocks or like we're stuck in our life.
So a lot of the guidance that I'm channeling is about what you've gone through,
what you're going through, steps of clarity and how to move through it. Yeah. Awesome.
(01:09:04):
Yeah. And I know you've been, like, surprised to find out because it's,
like, it's always loving and it's always for your highest good.
But also, like, we will kind of, like, call you out and hold you accountable as well.
Because I know before you're, like, oh, like, it's good to know that,
like, if I were doing something, I would know about it.
(01:09:26):
Yes. So it's not always, like...
Packaged up completely pretty yeah sometimes
which is good you your messages
really get to I mean the heart
of your work is getting to the root yeah of why things were struggling within
the now the root of those things and sometimes I mean it makes sense that if
(01:09:49):
we've kind of been suppressing things or we've kind of been using coping mechanisms
in our life that aren't super helpful.
The whole purpose of seeking support and guidance, you would want someone to
like point these things out, right?
If there's something that we're doing that's really like keeping us stuck or
is coming from a deeper place, as difficult as it is to hear sometimes.
(01:10:15):
I mean, I've like called one of my clients up before and I'm like, you're having a temper
tantrum right and like it's okay yeah and
then because you know everything is always kind of like coming through
me and so then at the end of the call I kind of like step back
and I'm Laurie and I'm like I'm sorry yeah right and
and it's it amazes me sometimes how people will come to me to like hear the
(01:10:40):
truth and the hard truth and that a lot of times the feedback is it's like but
I didn't get this from counseling or I didn't get this from conventional therapy
and it just kept Kept me stuck in my stories.
Yeah. Right. Like you said with your first counselor, it's like,
okay, I talked about all this stuff.
Where are we going with now? Yeah. Where is it coming?
(01:11:01):
And it's like, if that's the kind of help that's being provided to somebody,
like that's just what a friend should be doing for you.
Like, why are we paying people to be our friends, just listening to our problems
and not actually giving us any help?
Active advice. Yeah, I think effective counseling definitely goes deeper to the root.
(01:11:24):
It's deeper than talk therapy. It's yeah. Yeah.
And of course, I think that it's not to talk down on anything,
because we all need our stepping stones.
Yeah. It's just I think we all kind of have to have that seed planted in our
head that like, okay, some things help you to a point.
And if there's a point where it's no longer
(01:11:46):
like helping you or serving you yeah seek out
the next thing yeah and I think different like at different points in your life
or different challenges you're having different modalities will surely effective
at different times for sure yeah yeah there's like there's a place for meditation
and then there's also a place for just like some good old like
(01:12:08):
screaming and like yeah and
like releasing the energy yeah right or like
yeah there's or breath work is
like a beautiful tool to move things out
of your body yeah yeah awesome
all right well I think that's
(01:12:28):
gonna be it until our next episode yes so that is episode one thank you everyone
for joining us we are so excited to dive into all the topics that we want to
discuss and we will see you in episode two see you next week on the naked soul podcast.
Welcome to the Naked Soul podcast where we dissolve the barriers between spirituality
and the human experience.
Here we embrace the full spectrum of your journey, celebrating the highs and
the lows, the glimmers and the triggers.
Our mission is to dive deep into the candid conversations that everyone thinks
about but few talk about, breaking the silence and removing the stigma around
(00:23):
the complexities of being human.
Whether you're on a healing journey, an entrepreneurial path or anywhere in between.
If you're ready to shatter the notions of spirituality being all love and light
and embrace radical honesty and acceptance of your soul's journey here,
let's strip away the layers and let's get naked.
Welcome everybody to our first episode of the Naked Soul podcast where today
(00:48):
I'm just going to be telling you a little bit about ourselves, ourselves,
how we got to where we are, and kind of the journey that led us to be starting this podcast today.
So I want to introduce you to Shauna Thibodeau first.
And yeah, tell me what you do and how you got here.
(01:09):
All right. So I am a meditation teacher, a spiritual mentor,
and a business mentor as well.
So I help people with a few different things.
So the first thing is really healing things from our past that might still be affecting us today.
So things like thought patterns, emotions, belief systems, and all of this we store within.
(01:35):
So I help clients start to get aware of these things and then help to heal and release them.
So that is done often Often through the top modalities that I use are meditation,
breath work, inner child work using the internal family systems model by Richard
(01:55):
Schwartz, as well as things like co-creation as well and manifestation.
So those are kind of the top modalities that I use. The second thing I help
clients with is getting in touch with their inner truths.
So that's usually a byproduct of using the modalities that I mentioned.
(02:16):
Connecting to our inner truths is a byproduct of those things.
So when you do things like meditation, breath work, journaling, reflection,
you can start to identify like what part of me is conditioned from the past
and from society and what are actually my inner truths.
(02:37):
So I help clients get in touch with that. The third thing is really creating
a new reality based on what we're thinking, feeling, where we want to go.
So using intention and things like co-creation.
And what I have found is that the thought patterns, the belief systems,
the emotions that we're sitting in each day have a humongous effect.
(03:04):
Humongous, yeah, effect on the reality that we are creating.
So really helping clients to, yeah, shed what isn't serving them and step into belief systems,
thought patterns, ways of thinking and feeling that actually align with what
they truly desire and what is authentic to them.
(03:26):
And then the last thing is I help holistic wellness spiritual entrepreneurs.
Build their businesses from scratch or help to grow and improve already existing businesses.
And that came about from the last 10 years growing my own business quite successfully
and moving from leaving nursing and moving full-time into entrepreneurship.
(03:50):
So I help those people with a combination of that mindset and healing work combined
with strategies that have really helped me. Yeah, to help their businesses go.
So I mean, you mentioning that you were in nursing for so many years,
like, how did the transition from nursing into this work come about?
(04:13):
Yeah, so we will go back to when I was first really struggling with depression and anxiety.
So that's really where all of my work stems from.
I started struggling when I was 13 years
old really noticing I was experiencing
depression and anxiety and just masking it
(04:35):
as I got into my teenage years just trying
what were the signs for you because I
think a lot of people especially like that young just think it's normal so like
what kind of like what did you feel that you were like I think that this is
depression yeah I wouldn't say I noticed or I didn't have the awareness probably around like 13,
(05:00):
14, probably around 15 was when I just felt down and everything just felt non-exciting, I would say.
It's like I just felt a numbness, sad.
I was having unsafe thoughts pretty early in age.
Yeah, and I think just not feeling excited about life.
(05:23):
Yeah, which is such a young age. Yeah, it's such a young age.
And then anxiety as well, where I noticed that fearful thoughts were keeping
me from doing things, putting myself in different places.
I was like anxious to go into certain situations. So that's when I started to
(05:44):
notice that anxiety was playing a role in how I was actually showing up.
Yeah. So those were probably the first, like the main signs when I was younger.
And would you say that it was that experience that brought you into nursing?
Definitely contributed because I struggled, my family tree on both sides have
(06:06):
struggled with depression, anxiety, and substance abuse.
Oh, wow. Yeah. So I think seeing myself struggle, seeing family members struggle,
that really interested me into mental health.
And so I was in school at first for kinesiology.
And then like a lot of people feel, what am I going to do with this?
I kind of just picked it, right?
(06:27):
So yeah, like, yeah, you have to choose something to do something. Yeah.
So I chose kinesiology first, but then depression, I was experiencing it even more.
And I think that played into it too, where I was like, I know I'm going to school
for this thing, but like, I'm not excited about it.
Other people were in the program
(06:47):
in kinesiology they were going into physiotherapy sports
therapy those were kind of the top careers coming
out of that and I didn't feel excited about any of those yeah so I just looked
at those people I was like that's cool that you guys are so excited but like
I'm not at all so that's when I went to a career counselor at McMaster because
(07:10):
I was at McMaster for kinesiology and then they recommended actually,
we spoke about like what courses I was actually interested in.
And they were like, have you ever considered nursing? Because what I did like
at the time was like health courses and like nutrition.
And I loved learning anatomy and things about the body.
So I was like, okay, nursing scenes, I can get a bit more excited about nursing,
(07:34):
it feels a bit more aligned.
And then once I was in nursing, and because of my history, because of family
history, that's when I started getting interested in mental health nursing,
right. But unfortunately, at the same time, my depression worsened.
So I was in nursing school. I was going to get this degree.
I still didn't. The depression was overpowering any excitement for the future.
(07:57):
I was also experiencing extreme anxiety, social anxiety, performance anxiety
at my nursing placements.
So I would almost I would have
to go to the bathroom and I'd almost be on the verge of vomiting from
anxiety as you're saying this I'm thinking about like how ironic almost it is
(08:20):
that like for people going through for mental health nursing there wasn't any
like mental health support for you
yeah technically at that point I wasn't specializing in mental health yet.
But it's just ironic in general that those kinds
of supports yeah don't exist yeah and i
(08:40):
had a i had a moment with a preceptor who
pulled me aside and asked do you even want to
be here it doesn't seem like you want to be
here but it was because of crippling anxiety that i
was struggling with and i was like i do want to
be here and she's like because you just
seem like you don't want to be here but really it was
(09:01):
like a lot of struggle on the inside so that
again just shows that we never really know what's going on with a person they
could just seem like they're disengaged but inside they could actually be like
really battling yeah humongous things it's like that resting bee face that's
basically what she was indicating yeah he's like you don't want want to be here.
You have a resting piece of hay.
(09:23):
But probably inside, I was like, yeah, just so anxious about everything. And yeah.
So that it was around that time that I really.
Decided I needed to do something about my
mental health because everything was just
feeling dark and I also had
(09:45):
this moment where I thought okay if this is originating in the mind I wonder
if working with the mind can actually do anything to help it so I remember having
that thought and I started with counseling so I just went to the campus counselor
but that I didn't have a a good first experience.
It just felt like she was asking me to lay everything out, but then not giving
(10:10):
me any helpful tools. Yeah.
So I was like, this, this doesn't feel super helpful.
But I was in the waiting room to book my next appointment. And I saw a little card on the side.
And it was actually for a psychologist that worked downtown.
And his card had a pretty little tree on it.
(10:33):
And,
resonated with trees for some reason and there
was a quote on the card too that really resonated with me and I picked it up
and I brought it home I put it in my pocket and I brought it home and didn't
even know if I was gonna do anything with it when I was sitting at that night
I remembered that that card was in my pocket so I pulled it out I looked up his website site.
(10:58):
And he had a lot of spiritual quotes on there.
And I didn't, I wasn't spiritual, didn't grow up with spirituality,
didn't grow up with religion.
So all of this was like new language
to me, but something when I read it resonated with me. And I was like.
Feeling a draw, which we'll talk about a lot. Yeah, I think that's something
(11:20):
that a lot of people can understand, but can't really be put into words is it's
just like, this feeling exactly.
And like, it makes no sense. But you're like, for some reason,
I need to follow this. Yeah, yeah, I felt that feeling.
So glad. Oh, my God, so glad I followed the nudge within. So I looked up his website.
And his counseling was quite expensive, because he was a psychotherapist.
(11:45):
But I was like, you know what, this is worth it. I'm feeling drawn to it. Let's just go.
And I sat across from him during our first appointment.
And he recommended that I join his eight-week MBSR program, which stands for
Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction.
And it is a meditation-based program created by Jon Kabat-Zinn,
(12:08):
who really brought meditation from the East to the West into medical centers.
So that's what he's really known for. And didn't know what meditation was.
I asked him, like, what's meditation?
And he said, well, we get quiet, we follow the breath.
And I'm thinking, how does that help anything with what I'm going through,
(12:30):
you know? But again, something drew me to it.
And I said, Okay, let's just commit to this. Let's commit to this eight week program.
It was three hours a night once a week. So that's my God. Yeah.
So it's like a commitment. Yeah, that's not a small commitment,
especially when you're like, I have no idea what this meditation stuff is.
Exactly. So it's actually ironic that I was like, Yeah, let's do this.
(12:53):
And each week went to the class. And yeah, slowly, I just started.
I remember when I first started, I'm like, what is this meditation?
Like, what are we doing here?
But slowly I started to grasp what he was saying in class.
And basically he was getting us to distinguish between like when we are focusing
on a point of focus in meditation,
(13:15):
so say the breath, and then he would get us to notice the commentary that wasn't
that, you know, you're better able to notice the commentary when you're trying
to focus on something. thing.
And then we look at that commentary, like, what are the patterns of it?
How is it causing you suffering?
So that was the first time that I was able to kind of separate and be like,
(13:36):
whoa, my thought patterns are causing a lot of suffering.
And then by also focusing on one point of focus, you're bringing your brainwaves
from like high beta brainwaves into lower alpha brainwaves, You're experiencing
this kind of calm that I've never experienced before.
So that was what I noticed week after week was I was starting to access this
(13:59):
place of peace that I had never accessed before.
And then I was better able to start catching the commentary and looking at it
and seeing how it was causing me so much suffering.
So interesting how we know no different until we experience
something that's different and you're like oh oh I
am suffering or I am anxious or
(14:21):
like you don't have to feel this way all the time
yeah which makes me also think like it's so hard to
notice our thought patterns that we're stuck
in until you experience some distance
from them yeah I always use
the analogy because I never thought that I was
like gluten intolerant but because I
(14:42):
was eating gluten every day right and so it's
like okay like let's experiment and like cut gluten
out for like a month yeah and just see what happens and so much inflammation
left my body yeah so I always use that analogy with people because it's just
you don't know what you don't know yeah and that's so important and I think
(15:03):
we'll do episodes so is on this for sure,
is like, you have to try something different in order to experience something different.
And it's actually ironic the amount that we don't do that.
Yeah. We just stay stuck in like the problem and we're like,
why am I feeling this way?
But we're not doing enough differently to truly a notice what's wrong or like
(15:27):
and something different to be like, oh.
Yeah. Yeah. Simple in theory, difficult in practice. Yeah. Right. Absolutely. Yeah.
Yeah. So fell in love with meditation during that eight week program.
And then after the eight weeks he had weekly classes
that you could go to if you were like an alumni of
the course and we would basically read a different excerpt from a spiritual
(15:52):
text or spiritual book and we would discuss it and then we would practice meditation
and that was literally my favorite class ever like so much fun I fell in love
with these classes and I fell in
love with all the books we were reading, like Eckhart Tolle,
Marianne Williamson, Jon Kabat-Zinn.
(16:12):
And just I started to that really opened up the door to spiritual authors for
me, where I just dove in and started to understand like life from a more spiritual
lens, which was really neat.
But you still went through with mental health nursing. So still went through.
Yeah. Finished nursing, was able to finish nursing with this skill of meditation.
(16:35):
And then in mental health nursing, I started to do my placement at specific areas.
And I learned more about CBT, cognitive behavioral therapy, DBT,
dialectical behavior therapy.
And I got to actually sit in with groups, group therapy work.
And what that it was a really neat combination of practicing therapy in groups
(16:57):
as like a trainee, and then also doing my own practice this with meditation and spiritual reading.
And this kind of created a really powerful combination for myself of improving my own mental health.
And then that ignited like, so then I went into mental health nursing,
but quickly, for my placements, I was an outpatient, which gave me the opportunity to work with groups.
(17:23):
I started my career. What does outpatient mean?
Outpatient basically means they're not in hospital. Okay.
So they're, they maybe were in hospital, but now they're coming to the outpatient
clinic for like weekly group therapy or something. things.
So probably in a less acute state of their mental health experience. Yeah.
So I went from being in that environment to then going back to inpatient where
(17:49):
conditions are a little bit more.
They're in the heightened, like activation of it, more challenging symptoms.
And my role then shifted again back to more floor-based nursing,
which is a lot of giving medications and monitoring the floor and doing assessments and discharges.
(18:09):
And I felt again, a draw kind of, a shifting away from feeling as aligned again.
And then in my own meditation practice, then I started getting these ideas of
starting up my own business.
And at first I was like, well you know
like we just started nursing and this was
(18:30):
my first year of working as a nurse full-time so
I finally like made it right like I'm like I made it I made it I'm in my career
now yay and then year one I'm having these ideas of like building a business
and there were so many limiting beliefs and different voices from the outside
as to like why would you do that when When you just entered your career.
(18:52):
But in meditation. And this again is showing how you can access inner truth through meditation.
Because all these ideas were coming up through meditation.
Yeah. Basically I. They wouldn't go away.
They wouldn't go away. That's the. You can try to ignore it.
Yeah. You could try to ignore the truth.
(19:13):
But they'll keep knocking at your door.
So basically I was like okay. Okay, I think I need to start following this.
And the first step was to get trained as a meditation teacher.
So I found a training program and love that training program as well.
So again, I was I always felt most aligned when I was like, involved in these
(19:35):
communities and doing my practice.
And after got trained in meditation, then I started teaching community classes
in In Niagara, and that was back in 2014.
Okay. Again, I had to work through a ton of my own limiting beliefs,
work through my anxiety, my performance anxiety, social anxiety.
(19:59):
And that was a huge accomplishment to not listen to those voices,
the voices of the ego mind, and really follow my inner truths and just put myself
out there and start somewhere. Right? Yeah.
We all have to start somewhere. We all have to start somewhere,
yeah. I had a period where I went
a little bit off track because I started dating someone in the States.
(20:21):
And that basically it was a period of thinking that you can do it all and you
can, some parts of your life could be misaligned, but you can still stay aligned in this area.
That was a humongous learning lesson that if you are misaligned in one area
of your life, it's going to affect other areas of your life.
(20:44):
Because basically, when I was dating this person, I was not able to handle working
pretty much full time running a business as well as dating this person across
border and like being social on weekends, drinking too much, etc.
And it was just creating there was a part of me that like wanted to die,
but I was still like keeping it alive.
(21:06):
And I was just trying to like live almost all these different worlds in two worlds.
So that ended that relationship. But that was actually quite heartbreaking for
me. And at the same time, my brother was struggling with his addiction.
And basically, I had to stop my meditation classes and stop.
I had actually started coaching people at that time as well.
(21:29):
I had to stop the practice.
And I actually moved away to Toronto to distance myself from this relationship
and to be closer to home as things were happening at home. So I moved to Toronto.
When I was in Toronto, that's when my brother's addiction intensified,
and then he passed away from an accidental drug overdose. And this was in 2014?
(21:53):
No, sorry, this is 2018 now. Yeah. So we're up to 2018.
And that experience deepened my spiritual relationship,
so much because basically I found I could not meditate in my typical way I would
after he passed away I would try to meditate and I just could not focus,
(22:17):
So basically what I started doing, I just laid on the ground and I just ended
up praying, but I didn't know I was praying.
And I just said, please send me healing. Please send me healing.
And I was doing this one visual of visualizing healing golden light coming in
through the top of my head and filling up my body.
And those were the two things that I just did every single day after he passed
(22:40):
away, probably for three months.
Please send me healing and this golden healing light.
And what I found was after around three months of doing this,
or less even of maybe two months, things started to happen in my life that it
felt like that prayer was getting answered.
It literally felt like this is where I started to believe in a higher power
(23:03):
and the intelligence of the universe and that when we communicate to the universe.
It can actually communicate back.
Because what i found it felt like the universe was like
oh you want healing go to this go to
this try this teacher and it all
happened in very like synchronistic and like funny ways that
you'd be like that this seems weird yeah i think
(23:25):
we should like talk about that for a second because so often
people think that like asking for
healing is just like your pain's gonna be taken away or
like you're not going to be sad anymore when
really it is like the way god universe higher
power communicates with us is like giving
(23:45):
us these little breadcrumbs yeah and like exactly
you have to actually like take that step do the thing and do the thing to then
get the next one yeah yeah absolutely that's a great point yeah so i had to
actually then i had to go yeah then Then you had to go. Yeah,
I had to go into the class.
(24:06):
And it was a woman's circle that I found, which was very lovely.
And actually, it's funny. This is another great point is that I was actually
really triggered by the woman's circle at first because the leader was very
like I was in a grief, depression, dark night of the soul phase.
The leader was like this. She had so much energy.
And I found it very triggering to be around the energy. but something again
(24:30):
that inner nudge was saying like keep going keep going in these circles and
then she posted a retreat that she was having in Costa Rica and.
And I signed up, even though I had this big aversion to her and her energy and just everything.
But something within was like, you need to go.
And like you want to be in that energy.
(24:52):
Yeah, yeah, exactly. So I went on two retreats that year.
One was down at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck.
And that was when I had a really synchronistic moment with a random girl that
wasn't even on my retreat.
She was on a different retreat, but she basically mentioned I should look into
(25:13):
law of attraction, but in like a very just weird way.
Like, and I think I've told you the story where she was like,
you need to look into law of attraction.
And then we stopped. We were like eating lunch and conversation continued.
And then I got up to leave and she's like, hey, you, you need to look into law
(25:35):
of attraction and manifestation.
Didn't know this girl. and I'm like that was such a weird
encounter but the encounter didn't leave my
mind so on the way home I just started downloading
and listening to like Wayne Dyer and that's
when I found Joe Dispenza and I just I had
a six-hour drive home so I just I'm so consumed
(25:55):
I just hit play on
like anyone who was talking about it and to be
honest I thought it was all a bit nuts at first
like i was like okay is
this the way that the world could actually work like you visualize something
and you can shift reality but i
listened to enough podcasts because i had six hours that enough people were
(26:18):
talking about it that i was like like there has to be something here you know
so i got home and i decided that i would spend three months this is what we
call the three month experiment. Yeah.
Yeah. The three month experiment, I said, you're going to try this for three
months without judgment.
And you're just going to see, like, you're going to assess the practice after
(26:43):
three months, you can't assess it before then.
And you're just going to see how it works in your life.
So I hadn't gone on the Costa Rica retreat yet.
But I started practicing manifesting manifestation every single day before going on the retreat.
At that time, I was just manifesting healing and stepping back into greater
(27:03):
inner strength and an improved mood, greater peace, greater confidence, things like that.
And then I went on to the Costa Rica retreat and just had such healing experiences on that retreat.
And I also looked at the leaders on the retreat and I was like,
and seeing the work that they were doing in group.
(27:25):
So it was bringing me back to an experience of that group work.
And I was like, this is what I want to do. It was just like a knowing.
And were you still nursing when you went on this retreat?
Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So full-time nursing, I didn't get any time off after my brother passed away.
I went to a walk-in and the doctor basically was like, you can have a day off. Oh, my God.
(27:50):
So I basically pushed all that down and was like, we're going to keep going. We have to keep going.
So I was working with people struggling with addiction, like four days,
probably after my brother passed away.
And I would have to take breaks in the bathroom to cry.
And yeah, I had to like walk away
from clients or patients sometimes times because it was too challenging.
(28:13):
And I just it felt very it was unfortunate, you know. And I think so many people
experience that where it's just like work is the most important thing.
You just have to put your head down and like plow through it and like cry when
you get home, sleep when you die.
Yeah, we don't honor grief in our society at all.
(28:35):
No, like other societies. It's a norm to almost like take the year off and go into like.
Healing like yeah so I
was still full-time nursing and came
back from the retreat and my manifestation practice really
shifted or not really shifted but just I added things in because I now had clarity
(28:57):
as to what else I desired and I knew that I really desired to move out of nursing
full-time and into entrepreneurship full-time I knew that that was a deep desire of mine.
I also felt like doing healing work, the meditation work I had been teaching
before, after Greg passed away, I asked myself, how am I most useful in this life?
(29:21):
And it really became clear to me that I could actually help people a lot more
if I was helping in the way that I wanted to help in and that was authentic to me.
And that would actually serve or be the greatest gift I I could give myself,
the world and him, you know.
That's beautiful. Yeah. So that I got clarity on that from going on the retreat.
(29:47):
And I started, I also knew that to keep the magic alive that I felt on retreat,
I had to shift something.
This goes back to what we were saying. You have to do things differently.
I knew that in order to keep the retreat magic alive, I had to show up to practices every single day.
Otherwise, you're just gonna, you know, No, you resort back.
(30:08):
Yeah. Yeah. So I started a powerful morning routine of manifestation and Oracle
cards at the time. That was really part of my practice for a while.
And it was just this fun morning routine, but powerful, I realized,
because this morning routine honestly shifted things like so rapidly for me after that morning.
(30:33):
Yeah. Yeah. Because everything kind of exploded for you.
Everything exploded in 2019, 2020, which is ironic because the pandemic happened,
but my business was actually exploding during that time,
which goes to show, yeah, it goes to show the power of the mind and the belief
systems that we fall into.
So many people were telling me like, oh, your business, like it's not going
(30:57):
to like we're going through the pandemic now. But I chose to ignore all of that.
I kept up with my morning routine and my co-creation practices and belief systems
work religiously through that period.
And my whole external world was shifting at a very rapid rate.
So, yeah, I started running retreats that year.
(31:19):
I came back and started running women's circles that year, retreats that year.
And then I built my very first online program that year, combining the practices
that had helped me so much.
And with those three things, yeah, everything just started to boom from there.
So I remember when I met you in 2022 was when you were just announcing your first Italy retreat.
(31:45):
International retreat. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
And I was like, how did you get here? There you go.
Yeah. Yeah. So I think at this point, it's been like over 50 retreats that I've led.
And then it's brought me to different countries as well. At this point,
(32:05):
Italy, Portugal, Costa Rica, we'll be going to Peru.
And then from there, I also grew two more online programs.
So five weeks of manifestation. And then it was around probably 2021 where people
saw the success of my business and they started asking as well, how have you done this?
(32:27):
And I was getting it a lot from yoga teachers, different spiritual entrepreneurs.
So then that gave me the nudge nudge people want
to learn about this which I shifted into
my business coaching program now known
as the abundant soul now known as the abundant soul yeah and I you know I think
that it's honestly like such a a humbling thing to teach other people how to
(32:53):
do this like for me that feels like the ultimate growth in like.
Just an abundant mentality like you
see how many people need this work and
like how powerful this work is and like we can't do it on our own yeah like
(33:13):
there are not enough people out there to offer services to help people heal
and i'm sure like you can make that connection going back to mental health nursing and being like,
if people had access to like coming on these retreats or doing these mindfulness programs.
How much less suffering would we see in like the hospitals and mental health nursing?
(33:40):
Yeah. Yeah, definitely. I know some, a lot, a limiting belief that a lot of
people who want to move into healing work have is that it's oversaturated,
but it's not oversaturated at all.
Like, how could we even say that bringing healing work into the world,
like it's oversaturated, we want healing work.
There are billions of people on this planet, and the majority of them are suffering. Exactly.
(34:05):
Yeah. So it's definitely a limiting belief to think that it's oversaturated
and that you don't have your own unique way of working with people.
I also always say to people, like the odds of someone being free when
this practitioner is running something like there needs
to be so many more options because it's
true yeah yeah so many people want to join retreats
(34:26):
and it's just like this particular date that doesn't work or
yeah exactly yeah and then the
project I'm currently working on is the book yeah so putting all of this story
into a nice memoir for people to yeah really look at the healing journey and
the journey of coming into a life that's more aligned with your soul.
(34:51):
And when can we potentially expect said book?
Yes. So it will either be the end of 2024 or the beginning months of 2025.
And that has been a huge, the idea came into my head on a hike on that Costa Rica retreat.
So in November of this year, that will be six years ago.
(35:12):
So that just goes to show that's
been in my head for six years I've been writing it for six years it's
also been part of my co-creation practice for six years so
sometimes it just shows that some things can come
into reality quicker whereas others take
longer to come into reality but the
(35:33):
faith like if it's within you if
it's this idea that just keeps knocking which is
like this book it just kept knocking yeah
it's like you gotta listen to the inner voice
and it's taken longer to bring
into reality it's taken more trust it's
taken more like persistence yeah it's
(35:56):
funny i'm like i'm getting this like thought of like
who was the first woman to get pregnant and
have no idea how long it was gonna take to birth that child
that's an hilarious thought you know but
it's like it's true for a long time we
didn't actually like measure like months and days
the way that we do now and percentile so
(36:17):
it's just like one day you stop getting your.
Cycle your belly starts growing and you're like I don't
I don't know how far along I am I don't know how many more months
oh my gosh and you're just trusting your
body that's actually so profound
because if more of us could treat our
ideas like that or the projects that we're
(36:39):
working on as like i don't know how
long but i'm gonna take care of
myself and i'm gonna nourish myself and trust that like yeah the birth is gonna
it's coming yeah exactly yeah so that is my story thank you for sharing you're
welcome and we can move to yours this week it's my turn yeah so what What do
(37:01):
you do? What do you help people with? Yeah.
So I'm a medium. I'm a spiritual teacher and intuitive coach as well.
I bring a lot of the mediumship and channeling and intuition work into my sessions with clients.
A lot of people similar to you are facing like really big blocks and limiting beliefs in their life.
(37:23):
A lot of it rooted in childhood trauma as young as like three,
four five six seven years old and they don't consciously remember what some
of those traumas were and I think just to touch on briefly because I know so
many of my clients and I mean even people that we've worked with together are
(37:44):
like no I had a great childhood or like there was no trauma,
Trauma, you know, we can say that there's like capital T or lowercase T,
but it's an unprocessed emotion.
Yeah. Right. And so we have all experienced some level of conflict with our
parents, our siblings. Yeah, conflict, tension, stress.
(38:05):
Yeah. Children on the schoolyard that was left unresolved. And we internalize
that as being a reflection of us and our worth.
Mm-hmm. I think that needs to be like talked about more in terms of exactly
how you said it is like these things that are affecting us today can be,
it's just an unprocessed emotion.
(38:29):
So because I think what you're saying or like what's happening in the world
is exactly what you were saying where people are looking back and being like,
no, I didn't have like any, like I can't remember anything.
Thing. I can't. And I feel like that's a little bit of the lingo that's happening
or has been happening for many years.
And I feel like it needs to shift into like,
(38:51):
And maybe it comes with taking the word trauma right out of it, right?
I feel like especially a lot of millennials grew up with parents who were like, I turned out fine.
And it's like, is that what we want the standard to be? Right.
Like, do we want the standard to be fine? Fine. Right?
So they were raised thinking, and like by no fault of their own,
(39:12):
but they were raised thinking that like, this is normal.
Yeah. Like, oh, you have more than we had.
And then they kind of pass that down to us and we're
like you're doing better than I did like how
many I mean for those of you who don't know
we're in Niagara region Ontario Canada
so we get some bad weather here and
(39:35):
I think a lot of children of parents who grew
up here got told this story of like we used to have to walk
like miles up the hill both way in the
snow know yeah you know so
the the underlying message for so many
of us was basically like stuff it
down you shouldn't be upset don't feel
(39:56):
your emotions yeah and so so
many people reach this point in their life similar to
like the story that you told of just like i
can't keep it down anymore like i
can't hide it anymore and they don't even know why they're
unhappy yeah so that's where my work comes
in and through my ability to channel
(40:18):
what i call god divine consciousness the
universe whatever name you want to put to it we're
able to actually tell them what some of the traumas were and things that happened
in their childhood and just like you said like it's a feeling that you get that
like it resonates with them and it just feels true and a lot of times after
(40:42):
bringing these things to the surface.
They're like, oh yeah, this thing happened when I was a kid and they can remember it.
So it's like it's kind of stuck back here in the subconscious.
And by channeling the guidance,
it like loosens it and brings it up into their conscious mind so that we can
actually work with those emotions and feel them and release them and heal them.
(41:05):
So I've been working with clients one-on-one since 2021.
And this is the work that we do. it looks really
different for everybody because everybody has had
different experiences but I'm
moving more into group work because I'm
(41:26):
recognizing the power of us all coming together and actually recognizing that
we're not so different yeah absolutely and just like you said like this teacher
was like you have a resting bee face and really you're like struggling with
like crippling anxiety.
There's so many people who feel that way. And for them to know that they're
(41:49):
not alone is such a powerful part of the healing journey as well.
So my path is still evolving, just as yours is.
I used to teach mediumship courses. That's kind of on hold for now,
where helping people tune into their
(42:09):
intuition and come back to their soul self is really
happening through the power of retreats now so I
also host retreats we host retreats together
and that's where a lot of this
like coming back to yourself and learning
to trust your intuition is coming
from in my work currently which is really really
(42:33):
my goal at the end of the day is to help people come back to themselves and
remembering and reclaiming their own power yeah because we live in the society
that is programmed to make us believe that there's something wrong with us yeah.
And even within, and I know that this will be like an episode of itself one
(42:54):
day, but even within like the spiritual wellness, personal development space,
there's become this like underlying tone of like you're broken and you need to fix yourself.
And we externalize our power to like all these other people thinking that they
can like fix us and that they know more than us.
And we have everything that we need within us.
(43:17):
And so i'm trying to bring people back
to that truth yeah i'm really
like shedding what isn't them you know
yeah healing the things that are not them yeah
yeah because it's it's a tough pill
to swallow to realize that
like none of this is me right like
(43:40):
none of these thought patterns that you speak of yeah
are me yeah yeah they're well
everything that we like the majority
of things we think are programmed and they're
coming from externally right yeah
and we don't even realize it yeah because on
top of like our mother and our father and our grandparents
(44:02):
like the schooling system and the
messages that are taught to us there are pretty
antiquated the proverbial they you know the just the moment that you're born
as either like a woman or a man there is a pressure yeah and a message that's
being delivered to you yeah and we're so unaware,
(44:26):
of the fact that these things are ruling our lives exactly and that it's not us.
It's not us now I have shivers yeah yeah
so what got on what got you onto your own path oh my gosh the journey there
it's you know there's so many similarities but so many differences in our stories
(44:48):
as well because I know you didn't grow up like you said with a relationship with
like God or a higher power.
But for me, I did. My mom was very spiritual.
And she had dreams that would like happen, like eerily happen.
(45:10):
And she always was really like in tune with herself.
So from a very young age, I wanted to be a medium.
So cool. Yeah. Yeah. I thought it was so interesting, but I also believed that
it was something that you just have or you don't have.
So I looked to all these people and I was just like, oh, they have the gift
(45:33):
and I don't have the gift, which I now understand that this comes from our soul.
We all have a soul. We can all...
Tap into this divine guidance and intuition. But my mother was diagnosed with
multiple sclerosis as young as when I was like four years old.
So my entire life, I witnessed her trying to heal herself and her illness.
(46:00):
And she took a lot of kind of like traditional Chinese medicine approaches to that.
So as the story goes, her doctor, once she was diagnosed, was like you can take
this medicine it's kind of all we can offer there's no cure for this your brain
is shriveling as we speak in less than 10 years you'll be in a wheelchair.
(46:22):
And one day I guess she
woke up and she was like fuck that good for
her yeah and her doctor refused to
see her again because she refused the medicine and
she was just like I'm gonna find something else so I
think that's like a place going back to like
all of our stories as well I feel like that's a
(46:43):
crucial place and time when
you start to say like fuck this like screw like I am tired of living this way
believing this idea and giving my power away giving my power it's that same
thing of like oh well a doctor said yeah that it's gonna be this way yeah so
(47:04):
I'm gonna give my power to
them and she was like no I'm not like you don't know me you don't know what
I'm capable of yeah which was such a blessing for me to witness that so yeah
she was working with this guy like from a very young age I was exposed to weird stuff.
Like we were like juicing funny things and she was making like corn silk tea
(47:27):
and eating chayote and doing qigong and like going for like oxygen therapy. Yeah.
And although she did have like episodes,
which mostly were triggered by like stress and like seasonal changes,
she never experienced really any of the symptoms that they told her that she was going to. Right.
(47:52):
Which was like incredible. She was always able to keep her license.
She did have to stop working, but I got to spend all of this time with my mother
when I was young and growing up.
But because there was this, you know, kind of focus on her and her suffering
(48:13):
and what she was going through, there just wasn't a lot left for the children.
And it'll blame my parents. Yeah.
But there was always and and I
denied it for like my whole life but
there is always this fear that I was going to lose my
mother and there was always this pressure on me to like be good and be quiet
(48:37):
and manage my emotions because I didn't want to stress her out and make her
sick so of course all of this is happening in the mind of like a five six seven
year old girl who doesn't actually understand it.
And I started to hit depression pretty young as well.
I was like 12 years old the summer before I got into grade seven that I developed eating disorders.
(49:04):
And then I went back to school and all of a sudden I had friends and that kind
of reaffirmed that now there's a pressure on the way that I look.
So I had an extreme pressure to like behave a certain way and to look a certain way.
And there was a lot of external factors that were kind of validating that this
(49:24):
was the way that I needed to be.
And I just lived my life in fear of disappointing everybody.
So then you reach high school and there's peer pressure and there's boys. Boys, boys.
And I was seeking a lot of attention through alcohol and men. Yeah. Same.
(49:50):
Yeah. Which got me into some pretty precarious situations.
And I recognize now that I was just acting out and looking for attention and trying to be loved.
But that inner angsty teen can be quite a thing.
And at that point in time, I just didn't really know who I was.
(50:14):
And then it's grade 12 and you're like, you have to pick a career.
Yeah. Just like how you were like, I went through with kinesiology, but didn't really.
Yeah. And I always knew that I had two paths.
Like for whatever reason, I knew I had two paths. And the one was to become
a chef and the other was helping people. But I was like, what is helping people?
(50:37):
And I considered going to school to become like a grief therapist because I
was experiencing a lot of grief.
But I was like, I'm not like, yeah, you're how old when you're like 17,
18 years old. So I went to school to become a chef.
And that's what I ended up doing by trade for 10 years.
(50:59):
And it was a super masculine industry, really long hours. hers.
I didn't, I didn't have much of a life. I was underpaid.
And it was in about 2018 that I mean, so previous to that, it was 2014 that
my mom was diagnosed with cancer.
(51:20):
It was less than a month after her mother passed away that she actually discovered
the lump in her breast herself.
And I had had dreams of going away, whether that was like moving away to work
or like going away for school.
And then this happened and kind of more fear.
(51:41):
And I was like, okay, I can't leave. I can't leave my mother.
So I went to Niagara College, went to school, started working.
And then in 2018 was when her treatment wasn't really working.
They had gotten the cancer under remission and it spread to her bones.
They got it under control.
(52:02):
2018 meds weren't really working anymore. And I was like, okay,
I need to like, I can't do this forever.
That's when I was really like, I was crying on my way to work every day.
I was having panic attacks in the parking lot I was getting physically ill like
at one point in time I had a sinus infection,
(52:25):
that lasted two months and when I finally brought myself to the doctor she was
like what are you doing going to work yeah so that was when I started meditating
kind of similar to you I was I was just like,
I need to find some like peace of mind, some quiet and some relief.
(52:48):
And I was just kind of grasping onto anything that I could.
And two of the people who kind of like I started listening to was Esther Hicks
channeling Abraham in Teal Swan.
Cool. And they started, of course, talking about how we create our own reality
(53:09):
and we create our own suffering.
Abraham Hicks talks a lot about like the law of attraction and manifestation.
And Teal Swan was talking a lot about separation.
Separation and the idea of us
perceiving ourselves as being separate from
everything in this world being the root cause of our suffering and how we project
(53:33):
our stories onto other people and we build up these walls to protect ourselves
from other people and i realized that i was so afraid of being vulnerable.
And at this time too not unlike
you i i was really bad at having relationships with
(53:53):
women yeah yep like working in the restaurants if they hired because i was i
was most frequently like one of the only females that was working there and
if there was another female that they were assigning me to train they would
have to tell me to play nice yeah i remember you telling me that I was like, what? You?
(54:14):
I know. So my relationships with females were really wounded.
And all of this messaging from Teal Swan was kind of waking me up to the idea
that like, oh, it's not them. It's me.
And.
How I kind of started to work with this was actually through doing my Reiki training. Right.
So I started, I actually did my Reiki level one, two and three with my mother,
(54:37):
which was really beautiful, but it was all women.
And so this was kind of my first experience, like being in this group with all
women where I didn't know any better than them.
Yeah, that's really cool. and that's a really neat
similarity between our stories because yeah mine was
also 2018 after my brother
(54:59):
passed away that I was like I need some women
in my life like I don't like yeah and that is through the spiritual healing
groups and the classes the women's circles that I was going to that I also had
my first experience of like healing in a group with other women I think That's
(55:20):
really cool that we both have that experience.
Yeah. And I remember watching the woman who was teaching us.
And I was like, wow, like she's like living at home and like working at home
and making these nutritious lunches and like making money doing something she loves. Yeah.
And it was really kind of this like light bulb moment.
(55:42):
Meanwhile, there was like drama that was happening back at work.
Like I was essentially kind of getting scolded for like
taking this day off and that was
like the pressure building to like get me out yeah
and so I was like okay I
need to move more into my feminine shows
the contrast of those two worlds yeah like the
(56:05):
masculine dominated world and just the feminine and just that
there can be all these worlds exist at the the
same time yeah but what world are
we like living in you know and just like we said
like you don't know any differently until you experience anything
differently yeah and joining this class was like
my first experience seeing something different and
(56:25):
like oh there could be a different way yeah and
so the first step for me was I actually just
I left the job that I was working game
that had these crazy hours and I found myself a job still within the kitchen
but I was working like seven to three or seven to four and I remember talking
(56:47):
to my friends and I was like oh my god like did you see the sunsets like there's
so many butterflies and they're like
what are you smoking yeah and I just hadn't been around to see a sunset or to
see life yeah But the fact that I had evenings off allowed me the opportunity
(57:07):
to join a meditation mediumship group. Hmm.
So I think it was two nights a week that we were meeting and we were practicing
getting messages for each other.
And once I started getting my first messages that were like accurate for people, I was hooked.
(57:28):
It's kind of like a drug. Yeah. It's like, this is so cool.
Yeah. And I had done it before, but I didn't know that you could not to say control it,
but that it was something that you could actually like tap into consistently
versus just like kind of being a coincidence. Yeah.
And so once I realized that, like, oh, you can actually like do this,
(57:52):
I just carried down that path.
But I was stubborn and not letting go of the restaurant industry because I had
all these scarcity stories. We do that.
(58:35):
30 and i was like i want to make that list and so I had just
reached what I thought was the pinnacle
of my career yeah like these mountains that were trying to like get to the top
of and it meant nothing to me yeah like it meant absolutely nothing to me yep
and so it was shortly after that that COVID happened yeah so what COVID
(58:59):
kind of represented from like a global perspective was the shift into a more feminine energy.
Cool. Where we're not working as much. I just got shivers. Yeah.
And so I started offering readings over Zoom.
And people loved it. And I was like, oh, because I had this limiting belief
(59:21):
that people didn't really want these services.
And so I was like, oh, that's not true.
Limiting beliefs are crazy. None of these stories that I'm telling myself are true. Yeah.
And yeah, it just kind of kept snowballing from there.
But similar to you then losing your brother in 2021, June of 2021 was when my mother passed away.
(59:44):
Way and it kind of shook my world up a little bit for me because I wasn't sure if I could.
You you always have to be walking the
talk yeah and I was like can I
walk the talk yeah like can I actually
believe and embody and trust all the things that
(01:00:06):
I'm telling other people and teaching other people
yeah now that it's happened to me right and it
was an ultimate moment of
surrender where I tried to
walk away and it was literally
like every like fiber
of my being could not imagine not doing this
(01:00:28):
work and I actually called
my ex because you know
like we stayed friends so yeah 2020 during
COVID changed careers left my
relationship went through a move and then
my mother like all this stuff happened all at once but we
remained friends and I called him and he said the same
(01:00:50):
thing that he always said to me that always
used to piss me off but at this particular moment of time I was like ready to
hear it and he was like can you become comfortable with being uncomfortable
yeah and I started thinking about all the people that I.
(01:01:11):
I don't want to say like looked up to but looked up
to and I'm like yeah right
like all these people are doing it and trusting it
doesn't mean that it's easy but I do believe that I
can get used to this journey because as you
know like there is no end no there is
no goal like we're never reaching anything yeah
(01:01:34):
and if you think that you've like made it or you've healed
you gotta start right back over again and so
that was a moment where I like just kind of ultimately surrendered
and I was like yes because I trust
in God and I trust in
the path and whatever happens is gonna happen and
I can literally like point it back to
(01:01:57):
that moment where my life like truly opened up for
me but like we talked about it's like
it's not maybe gonna come to you in the way that you think it is so it's two
weeks after my mom passed away I was like given this ultimatum if I want to
do this work anymore decided that I did that I was given an eviction notice
right from your house yeah from my house and I was told that I was gonna move cities.
(01:02:23):
And just as I was wanting to fight it I was like no I have to surrender I have
to trust that like God wants me on like God wants me to be happy and so yeah
I ended up moving to the north end of St.
Catharines it was also divinely guided and I moved in with Amy who's a yoga teacher.
(01:02:45):
And it was she's the one that I ran my first
retreat with and like Amy and her family became my
family when I felt like I didn't have a family anymore and it
was just like such a beautiful place for me to heal and
grow and start my business and amy and
one of her friends natalie were in my first mediumship
course you know this story and and
(01:03:10):
natalie was teaching yoga for you and one day
you didn't have a caterer and she knew that i used to be a chef and was like
hey would you like cater this retreat yeah and that's how we met and i ended
up like living a kilometer away from my in two weeks like in five weeks from now husband yeah.
(01:03:32):
And then, yeah, it was like within a year, like less than a year of that move
that my business had exploded.
I was no longer working any other jobs to subsidize my income.
I was planning on moving in with my partner, with Nick. We were collaborating
on our first retreats together.
(01:03:55):
And now here we are starting this podcast and like getting ready to go back
to Portugal for a second time.
And I think it's like, I think it's so important to remember or even to draw
out of both of our stories is that stepping onto a more onto a path that was
(01:04:15):
more aligned with our souls was so uncomfortable.
Comfortable yeah it did not come without struggle and
I think that's something that you and I both want to
be like pretty consistent in our messaging with
people is like we're still doing this work yeah it was not just like this overnight
yeah success story it was not without struggle like we have to be real yeah
(01:04:41):
because we can both say that we noticed like our businesses expand but But you
also like when we say that,
I want to make sure that we're also saying like it took daily hard work and
being like uncomfortable every day, you know, in these periods of like continuously choosing.
(01:05:02):
Yes, we're going on this path. We're trusting. We're practicing trusting, you know. Yeah.
We're seeing where this is going to bring us. Yeah. Yeah.
It's funny for me though, because I've always been somebody who like figures it out later. Yeah.
Like I, so when opportunities present themselves to me, I've always been able
(01:05:25):
to kind of be like, well, yeah, if it's here, I must be ready for it.
But I've never felt ready.
Like that's the thing is it's like, same. I'm good at just taking it.
Like I'm good at like looking at the opportunity and just saying yes and doing
it, but I've never felt ready. Yeah.
Yeah. I've been the same. Yeah. My first like event that I did was,
(01:05:49):
it was a girl who was doing my eyebrows at the time and she lived in Burlington
and she was like, I'm having this like.
Sip and shop like bender fair at my house would you
want to come and like do readings or reiki there
and i was like yeah sure
and i was charging i think i
(01:06:10):
was charging like 20 for a 15 minute reading and
i didn't think that anybody was going to come
for a reading yeah it was like who's gonna like who's
actually gonna wait and there was a
lineup of like 10 people oh my god so fun
yeah so in like whatever amount of
time that is like an hour and a half two
(01:06:31):
hours I did 10 readings until like
the next time I looked up it was like pitch black outside and like everybody
was like going home yeah and that was it was so wild for me to be like somebody
who's even the third person in line is willing to wait 45 minutes yeah for this
yeah yeah so cool and maybe give us a little.
(01:06:54):
Bit of a background on because you mentioned the word god
so maybe give us a little bit of a background on what
you mean by the word god and also like what
you channel or like how you channel just some information on
that yeah because i had to do
a lot of work to remove the term god from like reformed patriarchal religion
(01:07:15):
i was raised roman catholic and i still am working to To like alleviate the
kind of guilt and shame that came from being raised that way.
But when I say God, I'm just referring
to the soul, the consciousness that created all of us. Yeah. Right.
(01:07:36):
So we are God.
All of our guides are God. Like we are all part of God consciousness. Yeah.
And so, yeah, when I refer to God, it's not synonymous with religion,
whether you believe in the universe, higher power, creator, all of those terms are interchangeable.
(01:07:58):
I just feel fairly passionate about removing God from the kind of loaded term
that we have all put to it.
And the messages that come
through for me like i do i do communicate with passed
away loved ones i do communicate with like archangels
and guides come in as well but the majority of
(01:08:20):
the time you know we kind of simplify things and saying that it's all coming
from god consciousness and these messages are very much pertaining to your soul
path and your purpose so i know so many Many of us like believe that we are
a soul or we have a soul, but we don't really know why we're here.
And this is going to be a whole episode, but we're here to grow and growth comes
(01:08:42):
from learning lessons and lessons present themselves as challenges.
And these challenges, we feel like they're like blocks or like we're stuck in our life.
So a lot of the guidance that I'm channeling is about what you've gone through,
what you're going through, steps of clarity and how to move through it. Yeah. Awesome.
(01:09:04):
Yeah. And I know you've been, like, surprised to find out because it's,
like, it's always loving and it's always for your highest good.
But also, like, we will kind of, like, call you out and hold you accountable as well.
Because I know before you're, like, oh, like, it's good to know that,
like, if I were doing something, I would know about it.
(01:09:26):
Yes. So it's not always, like...
Packaged up completely pretty yeah sometimes
which is good you your messages
really get to I mean the heart
of your work is getting to the root yeah of why things were struggling within
the now the root of those things and sometimes I mean it makes sense that if
(01:09:49):
we've kind of been suppressing things or we've kind of been using coping mechanisms
in our life that aren't super helpful.
The whole purpose of seeking support and guidance, you would want someone to
like point these things out, right?
If there's something that we're doing that's really like keeping us stuck or
is coming from a deeper place, as difficult as it is to hear sometimes.
(01:10:15):
I mean, I've like called one of my clients up before and I'm like, you're having a temper
tantrum right and like it's okay yeah and
then because you know everything is always kind of like coming through
me and so then at the end of the call I kind of like step back
and I'm Laurie and I'm like I'm sorry yeah right and
and it's it amazes me sometimes how people will come to me to like hear the
(01:10:40):
truth and the hard truth and that a lot of times the feedback is it's like but
I didn't get this from counseling or I didn't get this from conventional therapy
and it just kept Kept me stuck in my stories.
Yeah. Right. Like you said with your first counselor, it's like,
okay, I talked about all this stuff.
Where are we going with now? Yeah. Where is it coming?
(01:11:01):
And it's like, if that's the kind of help that's being provided to somebody,
like that's just what a friend should be doing for you.
Like, why are we paying people to be our friends, just listening to our problems
and not actually giving us any help?
Active advice. Yeah, I think effective counseling definitely goes deeper to the root.
(01:11:24):
It's deeper than talk therapy. It's yeah. Yeah.
And of course, I think that it's not to talk down on anything,
because we all need our stepping stones.
Yeah. It's just I think we all kind of have to have that seed planted in our
head that like, okay, some things help you to a point.
And if there's a point where it's no longer
(01:11:46):
like helping you or serving you yeah seek out
the next thing yeah and I think different like at different points in your life
or different challenges you're having different modalities will surely effective
at different times for sure yeah yeah there's like there's a place for meditation
and then there's also a place for just like some good old like
(01:12:08):
screaming and like yeah and
like releasing the energy yeah right or like
yeah there's or breath work is
like a beautiful tool to move things out
of your body yeah yeah awesome
all right well I think that's
(01:12:28):
gonna be it until our next episode yes so that is episode one thank you everyone
for joining us we are so excited to dive into all the topics that we want to
discuss and we will see you in episode two see you next week on the naked soul podcast.
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