July 7, 2025 • 40 mins
Can we live with ADHD and still choose self-compassion over shame? Emily says yes.
Emily Fitzpatrick, a CBC video journalist, candidly shares her personal journey with ADHD and broader neurodiversity. She explores how embracing self-awareness and choosing grace over guilt transformed her relationships, workplace experiences, and mental health.
Emily reflects on the challenges of a late diagnosis, the impact of executive dysfunction and rejection sensitivity, and how these shaped her path toward authentic living. She also discusses the power of advocacy—both personal and community-based—to reduce stigma and foster acceptance.
Platforms like TikTok have played a surprising role in spreading neurodivergent voices and creating supportive networks. This episode offers practical insights and encouragement for anyone navigating life with ADHD or seeking to better understand neurodiversity in themselves or others.
Emily Fitzpatrick
Emily Fitzpatrick on CBC News YouTube video "Diagnosed with ADHD as an adult": https://youtu.be/-UArVKyH4fQ?feature=shared
Emily Fitzpatrick is an Edmonton-based mobile journalist, or MOJO for short. She has covered a wide range of stories, focusing on human interest, community, and mental health. She has spent the last decade working at CBC Edmonton, reporting for web, radio, and television.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Paul Cruz (00:04):
Hello and welcome to the Neurodiversity Voices
podcast, where we celebrate andamplify the unique perspectives
and experiences of neurodiverseindividuals. And I'm thrilled to
have you join us on this journeyof exploration, advocacy and
celebration of neurodiversity.
Gino Akbari (00:21):
And I'm Gino Akbari, your volunteer co host.
Together we'll have meaningfulconversations, share inspiring
stories and challengemisconceptions about
neurodiversity.
Paul Cruz (00:32):
This podcast is for everyone. Whether you're
neurodivergent yourself, aneducator or parent, or just
someone curious to learn more,our goal is to amplify voices,
aster understanding and sparkchange in the way we view and
support neurodiversity.
Gino Akbari (00:47):
We're so excited to have you with us as we celebrate
the beauty of diverse minds andwork toward a more inclusive
future.
Paul Cruz (00:54):
So sit back, relax, and let's get started. Welcome
to the Neurodiversity Voicespodcast.
Gino Akbari (01:00):
ADHD is a condition that affects millions of people
worldwide. Yet its complexitiesare often misunderstood or
overlooked. For many, thejourney to understanding ADHD
begins with a diagnosis, whichcan bring clarity, challenges
and opportunities for growth. Inthis episode, we explore the
(01:20):
personal experiences ofnavigating ADHD. From the
discovery process to its impacton work, relationships and self
awareness.
Through open dialogue, aim toshed light on the emotional and
practical aspects of living withADHD while also addressing
advocacy, stigma, reduction andthe role of social media
(01:41):
spreading awareness. Whetheryou're seeking insight, support,
or inspiration, this discussionoffers a thoughtful perspective
in managing ADHD and embracingits unique challenges.
Paul Cruz (01:58):
Welcome to today's episode. I'm thrilled to
introduce our guest EmilyFitzpatrick, a CBC journalist,
advocate and researcher who hasbeen navigating life with ADHD
since her diagnosis during thepandemic. Emily, thank you so
much for joining us today.
Emily Fitzpatrick (02:15):
Thank you for having me.
Paul Cruz (02:21):
What's your understanding of ADHD evolved
since your diagnosis and whathas surprised you the most about
yourself?
Emily Fitzpatrick (02:29):
I think for me, my understanding before was
similar to a lot of people,where it was that hyperactive
child, you know, bouncing offthe walls and distracting
students, which I had a littlebit of, but that was kind of my
understanding of ADHD, like theinattentiveness. So, through my
process of getting diagnosed, Ilearned a lot of things that
(02:50):
I've just kind of thought weremy personality, were symptoms of
ADHD. So that was surprising tome, some of the things that I
struggled with. You know, therewas the inattentiveness, but
there was also not liking a lotof sounds around me or getting
kind of overstimulated by touch.Just like things I didn't think
(03:12):
I thought were just things Ididn't like.
Hearing people eat, I thoughtwas just a completely separate
thing. So I think, you know,going through it with my doctor
and hearing some of the symptomsand watching some TikToks and
hearing other people's symptoms,that kind of started to shift my
understanding of it. And that'skind of where I went. Have all
of these things. So as mydefinition expanded, that's kind
(03:34):
of what motivated me to get adiagnosis.
And the most surprising part wasprobably the dopamine and
chasing that dopamine high allthe time, which I just thought I
worked well under pressure. Butturns out if you get that little
spark of dopamine in your brain,it keeps you going for a while.
So that's something that I'vealways kind of chased. My
(03:54):
therapist was like, No, no,that's ADHD. So that was the
most surprising one for me.
Gino Akbari (03:59):
Right. So you told us what motivated to seek your
diagnosis. Did you find that thehealthcare providers were
supportive once you started theprocess?
Emily Fitzpatrick (04:09):
I didn't realize how lucky I was until I
started doing more research interms of the piece I did on ADHD
for work and now my thesis,because I've had the same family
doctor forever, so she'sprobably known forever. So for
me, it was basically booking anappointment with her and then
having like two hour appointmentgoing through the diagnosis,
(04:30):
like, check the spreadsheet withthe check marks of, do you do
this? Do you do this? And thenher basically being like, yeah,
girl, you have it. And then kindof working with her, which I
didn't realize was somethingthat not everyone got, to kind
of work on my dosage and whatkind of medication I tried.
We had a lot of follow-upappointments, so I thought it
(04:51):
was just that easy. But then itwas, you know, talking to my
brother who didn't have a familydoctor and he had to pay for his
assessment. He paid like $500and then the thought of, did I
just pay for them to give me theanswer I wanted or do I actually
have ADHD? Like that kind ofmind play there, and and then
just talking to people who hadto wait like six months for a
(05:13):
psychiatric assessment. So yeah,I got really lucky and didn't
really realize how lucky I gotjust based on never leaving my
doctor.
Paul Cruz (05:25):
In what ways has ADHD benefited your approach to work
and how have you adapted toovercome challenges?
Emily Fitzpatrick (05:32):
I think with that, like originally I had a
lot of, I wouldn't say guilt,but originally I didn't want to
be a burden and I didn't want toask for accommodations, because
I still, I think in thebeginning I was feeling a little
bit of stigma and shame aroundit. So originally I didn't ask
for any help. And then I did a,you know, eight minute piece on
(05:53):
ADHD and women and kind of cameout to everyone in my office at
the same time. So that was oneway to do it. I think the things
that I have found over the lasttwo or two ish years that I've
had it, is just knowing when tokind of check myself when I know
I'm I'm being bad and doingthings that I shouldn't be doing
(06:13):
that are not work, just likechatting and, like, putting off
getting started.
Because getting started hasalways been, like, trickiest
thing for me. Once I'm, once Istart, usually I'm, I'm good,
but getting to the startingpoint. So I think if anything,
I've been able to check myselfand be like, okay, you know, you
know, the stars part, just getgoing. You don't want to work
late. You don't want to leaveeverything to the last minute
because you don't do well inthat because you miss things.
(06:36):
Knowing when that I should gohide in an office or put my
noise canceling headphones on ortell a colleague, no, I gotta I
gotta lock in now. So I thinkjust the ability to have a
little grace with myself andknow and call myself on it
without feeling like, can't I dothis? Why can't I get started?
You're so annoying. Like, why,like, why are you doing this to
(06:56):
yourself?
Like, instead of feeling thatgoing through that cycle, it's
more of like a, okay, you needto, get together, go sit in an
office and just turn this out.So I think it's more just I
understand myself a bit more, Idon't waste time questioning.
Gino Akbari (07:09):
So Emily, how has your ADHD diagnosis impacted
your relationships with familymembers? Have you discovered any
shared experiences with them?
Emily Fitzpatrick (07:18):
Yes. So of the four siblings, or I guess
three include four including me.Wow. Three of us have ADHD, all
diagnosed within the last fewyears. So that has been very
interesting around the familydinner table, kind of talking
about, you know, why we docertain things, how we all kind
of have slightly differentsymptoms, people, helping each
(07:40):
other out.
My youngest brother just starteduniversity, so I was able to
help him out with things thatwere really beneficial for me
when I started school. I'm at alater age in terms of the apps
that are now available forstudents and AI and that kind of
stuff, helping him find that.Those tools have, has been
really nice in the bondingmoment. You know, teasing my
(08:01):
parents who gave everyone ADHDhas been fun for us, less fun
for them. But, yeah, so it'skind of been a fun little
bonding moment and then kind ofcomparing, like my brother is
trying the generic Vyvanse rightnow and kind of get like that
work for you, talking about whatkind of dosage we're on, asking
for each other's medication ifthey run out, which I had to
(08:24):
shut down.
But yeah, it's been a fun littlebrother bonding moment with all
of us struggling.
Gino Akbari (08:30):
That's your support group, which is also your
family.
Emily Fitzpatrick (08:34):
It's true. Those were the first people I
kind of talked about getting adiagnosis with. So again, they
were kind of the first peoplethere, and I think it was me
talking about how it's helped methat motivated my one brother to
go and then so on. Yeah, so thatwas kind of a nice surprise.
Gino Akbari (08:51):
I know you told earlier that some of the
emotional hurdles that youfaced, but after your diagnosis,
you find, has it been more of apositive thing or a balance
between a negative and positiveonce you heard that you had
ADHD?
Emily Fitzpatrick (09:05):
I think it has shifted to more positive,
but yeah, there's certainly somethings you need to tackle once
you get the answer, especiallyas an adult, because it does
have more of an effect, I think,than I realized. The feeling of
not ever think like, no matterhow hard I try, it's not going
be good enough, or I'm notsmart. I, no matter how much I
(09:27):
study, I still don't understandthis stuff, or I can't remember
anything. So it's kind ofworking through that and working
through like, I think ifanything, yeah, the ability to
give yourself a little bit ofgrace is the strongest emotion I
felt. Like I was mad about somethings I didn't think I was good
enough for, so I didn't pursue.
And I know my brothers kind ofechoed that because all of us
(09:49):
kind of dabbled in universitybefore we found something that
we were passionate enough aboutthat we could do it. So there's
kind of that period of mourning,but then yeah, the ability to
let yourself off the hook a bitmore, I think has been the most
has outweighed the negative forme. But I know it's everyone has
kind of a different journey andI was lucky that like my dad was
(10:11):
a journalist, so I knew in gradefive that I wanted to do this.
So I always kind of had thatpassion for it. And the program
I went to at NAIT is very likehands on learning and that's the
best for me.
So I kind of was lucky in thatregard. Not everyone has been.
So yeah, it's been interestingto hear a lot of people's
stories, especially the age thatthey get diagnosed, you know,
(10:32):
like people are gettingdiagnosed in their sixties and
seventies and like, that must bedifficult. So yeah, there's a
lot of feelings that go on whenyou get this like answer that
you maybe were searching for, orjust kind of always questioning
what was up. Yeah, a lot ofdifferent emotions go through
your head.
Yeah, it's quite interesting.
Paul Cruz (10:52):
What tools or strategies have been most
effective for you in managingADHD, especially in high
pressure situations?
Emily Fitzpatrick (10:59):
Yeah, I mean Vyvanse has been, right?
Remembering to take it is alsogreat. I was saying earlier that
I do thrive in high pressuresituations, so that's always
where I do the best. When I haveextra time, that's where I do
the work. Because I stopped it.
I won't take it every weekend.Like, sometimes I don't take it
on vacation. So I like that Ican kind of make it work for me.
(11:24):
So that was less scary off thetop. And I I I understand, like,
it's a it's a scary medicationto take off, like with it being
a stimulant, but, and like oftenlike people will be like, do
you, do you notice a difference?
I'm like, yeah, I'm not goingtake it every day if I don't
notice a difference. That hasbeen beneficial. Like we said
earlier, there's kind of likethat, that check system that I
(11:44):
know when to get down tobusiness, and I know that I need
to, like, go to a coffee shop ifI'm not being able to work at
home in terms of working on,like, my schoolwork. I was
usually doing it on theweekends, so I'm tired, and if
I'm stay at home, then I knowI'm not going to do it. So I've
spent a lot of time in coffeeshops because I like people
around me and I like being ableto, you know, get a sweet treat
(12:05):
and do my work.
So that I found works reallywell for me. Noise canceling
headphones have worked reallywell because if I'm not able to
isolate myself fully, at least Ican isolate the noise and kind
of focus in that way. Like, Iwork exclusively with, like,
movie scores, so I can't listento lyrics when I work or I start
writing lyrics. So I have awhole, like, twenty four hour
(12:27):
playlist of movie scores. Oh,yeah.
Just know I guess you kind ofstart to develop a toolkit of
what works for you and how youcan keep yourself going. Like,
I've tried the PomodoroTechnique, but usually I'm
either checking to see how muchtime is left or I'm extending
the breaks. So I do feel likethat I can't remember what the
ADHD term for it is, but, like,the body doubling. That helps me
(12:49):
just, being at a at a coffeeshop on my computer. I can look
up if I want to get distracted,but I'm not going to sit there
and watch TikTok at a coffeeshop.
So yeah, I think it's slowlystarting to I'm finding the
things that work for me and likenot every day is perfect, but I
was telling my mom the otherday, she said, don't doesn't
your medication make you likestay on task? I was like, yeah,
(13:12):
but sometimes I'm more powerfulthan my medication mom. Like I
could push right through andstill distract myself. So yeah,
I think the high pressuresituations are ideal for me,
which is kind of where I'vegotten into trouble, I crave
that deadline and I crave thetime crunch. So I'm trying to
develop skills outside of thatto keep myself working, I guess.
Gino Akbari (13:34):
So how has sharing your personal story given a
positive perspective on ADHD?
Emily Fitzpatrick (13:40):
I think it's just been really like freeing, I
guess. I think because it's, Ithink the stigma is decreasing,
I guess. I I don't know why Inever really felt much shame or
I like I felt a bit, but I neverreally felt much shame telling
people because it's more of justlike this it's like who I it's a
part of me. And it wasn't, I wastelling you guys, like, I did
(14:03):
this piece for about my ADHDdiagnosis and how more people
are during the pandemic weregetting diagnosed. And it wasn't
until like the night before thatcame out that I was like, oh,
wow, like I'm really sharingthis.
That was, there was a bit offear that night. And I guess I
just, I don't know, I've alwayskind of been an open person, so
I never really felt like a shamein getting a diagnosis. Cause I
(14:26):
guess for me it was so, itexplained so much that it was
just, it made me happy in otherregards. So I was like, guess
you won't, you won't believewhat I just got diagnosed with
or what, what the things I'vebeen doing forever. I have a
reason for it now.
Yeah. Like, I know you you guyshave been telling me you're two
minutes away when you're fifteenminutes away for decades because
(14:49):
I'm never on time. Yeah. Butnow, I'm sorry, it's just my
brain chemistry. My clocks areare like ten minutes ahead, but
like eight or like twelve orlike fourteen minutes ahead so
that I forget which one iswhich.
It drives my partner crazy,because he's like, all of our
clocks are wrong. I'm like, I'mon time now. Yeah.
Paul Cruz (15:13):
Inspired you to focus your pieces on ADHD awareness on
TikTok and how do you navigatethe balance between helpful
content and misinformation?
Emily Fitzpatrick (15:25):
I think the first off, like, I kind of had
an idea that as an idea in myhead when I first started my
master's, but I didn't know Ididn't I wasn't fully committed.
But then someone that had doneher master's a few years earlier
basically was like, you're goingto spend a year of your life
with this. So make sure it'ssomething you're passionate
about because otherwise you willbe sick of it by the end. So
(15:47):
that kind of was what solidifiedthe decision. And I thought it
was really interesting becauseit is such a growing, it's just
a phenomenon right now, I wouldsay.
So I kind of felt that part wasinteresting because it's, it's,
there's not been a lot ofresearch on it, which I found
during my literature review. Sothat kind of was what I was like
this is happening right now,people are talking about it,
(16:08):
maybe not in the academic sense,so I think it will be an
interesting thesis topic. Andonce I was able to so it's a
documentary film because Iwanted to do it as a film
because it's such a visualplatform and a lot of people I
think would rather watch a filmthan read an 18,000 word paper
and I would rather make one thanwrite an 18,000 word paper.
(16:32):
Yeah, like if I can't make itthrough a paper, why would I
write one? So yeah, basically Ipitched it as my thesis and both
the first people I pitched it todidn't even know it was
happening, so I thought thatwas, I was like, this is maybe
the right direction to go.
It was real, it was fascinating.I'm so happy I did it. I'm happy
(16:54):
the way it turned out. And I wasshocked. I thought the hardest
part would be finding peoplethat would go on camera and
discuss getting diagnosed withADHD in their adulthood.
I thought that would beimpossible. And many people did
too, and told me that. But like,I had like 10 women respond to
me saying, yeah, men, like, areyou sure? And it was amazing. I
(17:15):
couldn't have done it withoutthem.
Just like the openness and thevulnerability that they shared
with me, I was I'm so gratefulfor them. Just being able to
talk to three women that hadsimilar experiences to me, were
all been diagnosed in the lastfive years, I thought was
really, really interesting. Thenspeaking to, I was able to ask
kind of like questions that Iwas wondering about, so I think
that helped in terms of some ofthe answers I got. And I knew
(17:39):
that I did have to focus I mean,my entire thesis question is
that, like is the informationmore helpful than the
misinformation? Which is a hardquestion to answer but for the
women I spoke to, it's more it'slike being able to broaden the
definition of ADHD, being ableto see people dealing with the
same things that you are, andthen, you know, leading you to
do research on your own has beenmore beneficial than, you know,
(18:04):
certain videos maybe kind ofboiling down the definition to
get some likes.
And I think like, yeah, I try tostress in it as long as you, you
know, have a conversation withyour doctor, how you do your own
research and you kind of figureit out for yourself after you
watch TikTok, that's the mostimportant thing. But I think the
fact that it's like reducingstigma around ADHD, it's
(18:27):
broadened the definition,especially for women from that,
you know, hyperactive boy to allof these things are symptoms.
All of these things I strugglewith. I think it's been really
beneficial. And if anything,like it's kind of highlighted
some, the medical system is kindof playing catch up.
And if anything, maybe it willmotivate people in power there
(18:49):
to implement more training fordoctors about diagnosing ADHD or
just more research, and italready has. The States is
working on a new regulation forADHD right now that's coming
out, so I think the surge mightchange some things, which also I
think is more beneficial thansome misinformation. But there
(19:12):
are some things and there aresome dangers to it and self
diagnosing, they're going tohave to do a lot more research
on that and the benefit of theimpacts of that.
Gino Akbari (19:21):
So in your experience, Emily, how do you
balance advocating for yourworkplace needs, like using
noise canceling headphones orseeking quieter spaces while
managing feelings of being aburden requiring special
treatment?
Emily Fitzpatrick (19:36):
I think I'm still kind of dealing with that.
Like, no one I think a lot ofjournalists have ADHD. Like, I
don't wanna generalize, but whena business is built on deadlines
and, you know, a different storyevery day, it attracts a lot of
people that, that look at. So Ihaven't had any issues in terms
of like noise cancelingheadphones or disappearing for a
few hours into a room. I don'tknow if I've really explored
(19:59):
some of the, like I have peoplethat I've met through this that,
you know, they have different,things in place at their work
that I don't know if I wouldeven need, but you know, all the
power to them for advocating forthemselves.
So I think if anything, it'sjust like, oh, yeah, I think I'm
still kind of battling withthat. But yeah.
Paul Cruz (20:24):
What personal advice would you give to someone who
suspects they might have ADHDbut is unsure about seeking a
diagnosis?
Emily Fitzpatrick (20:33):
I mean, I think it's a personal journey
for everyone. And like I waseven talking with my partner
last night and he was talkingabout my project to someone and
they were saying, oh yeah, Ithink I definitely have it. But
look what I've built for myself,which I didn't know, I didn't
really know how to react tobecause I'm like, I don't,
(20:56):
nothing has to change if you geta diagnosis, a formal diagnosis,
however you want to approach it.It was very beneficial and I
know myself better and I knowhow to work with myself better
and I'm able to give myself moregrace because of this diagnosis.
But I understand, like, noteveryone feels they're ready for
it.
If they know in their brain, Ithink I have it and that's
(21:18):
enough for me now, all the powerto them. I found it very
beneficial. So I guess my advicewould be do your own research
outside of TikTok, talk to adoctor or a doctor adjacent and
kind of approach it with yourown comfort level in mind,
because I know it's scary forsome people. But I think for me,
(21:38):
the benefits have outweighedkind of the fear that I had
going into it. And I wish Iwould have done it sooner.
So yeah, I think that would bemy advice. I was surprised by
how much lighter I felt byhaving a reason and kind of
letting go of some of that shameafter like thirty some years of
unknowingly carrying it.
Gino Akbari (21:59):
So you're here now with everything you know. How do
you envision your journey withADHD shaping your future goals
and your personal growth?
Emily Fitzpatrick (22:09):
Well, I think I'm like already doing that.
Like, I never would have had theguts to go back to school pre
diagnosis. Like, I've knownabout this program that I'm in
at Royal Roads for years, Causemy dad did it back in the early
two thousand. So I've knownabout it for years and known
that I might want to do it, butI never really had the guts to
(22:30):
do it because I didn't think Iwas smart enough. And so, yeah,
it wasn't long after I gotdiagnosed that I kind of pulled
the trigger and applied.
And even after that, like I gotA's in all my classes and I
didn't think that was possiblefor me. So that has given me so
much confidence in terms ofappreciating myself a bit more.
(22:50):
So I think I'm already in a goodplace with it and already kind
of using it to my advantage, Iguess, in terms of not missing
any more opportunities and notholding myself back because I
think that I can't do it, whichhas been pretty powerful for me.
So I want to just kind ofcontinue that
Gino Akbari (23:09):
journey. ADHD is often described as a blanket
term, and like how fibromyalgiais viewed, covering like a wide
range of symptoms. It's hard topinpoint. So do you find that
frustrating or is having thediagnosis still helpful in
making sense of your experience?
Emily Fitzpatrick (23:28):
Yeah, think like it's a very personal thing.
Like a lot of people, I don'tknow of a lot of people, but
certain people don't recognizeit as a real thing. And I think
ADHD has a similar kind of vibeto it where they see it as, you
know, hyperactive kid,inattentive. Yeah, so I think, I
hope the understanding of itshifts, but like, don't, I have
(23:53):
to not care what other people'sversion of it is because I know
what it's done for me and howit's benefited me to know. But I
do think, yeah, it's tricky.
Like I, the symptoms so muchoverlap, some of the symptoms so
much overlap, like just like thebrain rot that has been caused
by our phones and our attentionspan over the last few decades.
(24:14):
So some of the psychiatriststhat I spoke to was saying like,
it's going to be interesting tokind of separate them so it
doesn't become a big blanketdefinition and so many symptoms
overlap with what children arestruggling with now.
Gino Akbari (24:30):
Yeah. And sorry to interrupt Emily, but these
podcasts and your YouTube clipsand all that all help because
I'm guilty of it too. Mean, I'vehad a close friend that was
always late and I've worked withthe military and for me I could
never, no, I would be like, no,you're late because you're being
lazy and because you're notrespecting my time. But five
(24:53):
years ago he was diagnosed withADHD and he was trying to
explain the process of when heis leaving home and what happens
to him before he leaves home.And to me it was so difficult to
understand.
I'm like, well, maybe you're notgiving it enough urgency, you
know? So through that, bit bybit myself, I had to get
(25:15):
educated and understand. Talkingto you and listening to you
furthermore increases thatliteracy for me. It does help.
It's giving me perspective andmaking the lanes narrower and
narrower in terms of, oh, thisis the result of this diagnosis
and this is the result of thatdiagnosis.
Emily Fitzpatrick (25:34):
Yeah, for sure. I mean, it's been a
journey with my partner becausehe's like type A, which I'm
like, is that what I wasattracted to? Someone that would
keep me keep me in line in termsof like, because now when we
leave the the house, he goesphone wallet, keys. I'm like, do
check for my phone wallet keys.Like, when I first started going
on medication, I was like, Ithink you're gonna have to watch
more than like, because so manythings were ingrained in how I,
(25:58):
you know, approach leaving thehouse or getting ready for work
and that kind of stuff.
So I was like, I think you'regoing to have to watch me and
tell me what's, what things younotice when I start this
medication, because I don't knowwhat type of things I'm doing
anymore. So he was able toactually point out like, you're
not like running around when youleave now, like you're a lot
calmer when you leave the house.It's and yeah, just educating
(26:19):
him like, I try so hard to be ontime. I really, really, really
do. But then like there, I mean,my psychiatrist put it like, you
get the dopamine of being like,okay, how close can I cut it to
when I have to leave?
And then, you know, fifteenminutes goes by in two seconds.
Learning about time blindnesswas like my first, like, when I
first started looking atsymptoms, because like time goes
(26:42):
by very strange, like very, veryquickly for me and then very,
very slowly. Yeah. Anytime Ineed to be somewhere on time, it
goes by at like the speed oflight. For this, I woke up, I
woke up at nine this morning andI had this at noon, and I was
like, oh, I should go for awalk.
And I was like, well, by thetime I eat, it's gonna be 09:30,
and then, like, I'm gonna wannahang out for a bit, and then
it'll be ten, but then I won'tbe back till, like, eleven, and
(27:03):
then that might be too close tocall. Like, this all goes I have
three hours. I could have gonefor a walk. Yeah. I've been off
for the last, like, few weekstrying to get the thesis done.
I I I started kind of myinsomnia came back, and I was
dealing with some stuff, I waslike, I don't know why, like,
I'm having such a hard time. AndI realized my routine is
completely off because usually Ihave bought the fancy Hatch
(27:25):
Alarm Clock that plays music,and I used to play that at night
so that I would do it plays forthirty minutes, so I know that's
like my TikTok time, and then Itransition to reading when the
other music comes on, and likejust having schedules and like a
plan in place kept me kind of onschedule and together and not
(27:45):
having that I'm like oh I kindof miss it and I never really
thought I was that kind ofperson but yeah it's honestly
like it's I learn about it everyday and I think now I'm more of
in like the curiosity phase withADHD where I'm like, is this
part of it? Is this, is thissomething I need? Is this
something that I've done to workwith my ADHD unknowingly? So
(28:08):
yeah, I'm very much in like akind of curiosity phase right
now where things come to me allthe time where I'm like, oh
yeah, this could be somethingthat bothers me for this reason
because of this, or this couldbe something I do because of
this.
So yeah, yeah. I mean, doing athesis, was afraid because I was
like, oh, I am the deadline. Sothat is usually bad for me. So,
(28:29):
you know, it was like puttingin, you know, taking time off.
So I knew by the end of my timeoff, need to have it done
because I I'm not as good doingtwo things at once.
Gino Akbari (28:38):
So No. Those are all the same for everyone,
Emily. Yeah. My wife did mythesis too, and I feel like she
had ADHD at that time too.
Emily Fitzpatrick (28:47):
So Well, you're, like, so sick of it.
You're even, like, taking thetime off. I like wrote the
script for the documentary inlike four or five days after
taking like months of just like,can't do it. I don't know. I
don't know if I could do it.
Was like, took four days? Like,are you kidding me? Why didn't I
do this a month ago?
Gino Akbari (29:04):
So so I'm gathering that giving yourself structure
really helps. Deadlines andstructures. Like, if somebody
had to help, they would justcreate a timetable for you, and
it would make day to day mucheasier. Is that is that right?
Emily Fitzpatrick (29:18):
Not a timetable. That's too far. Like,
I still found myself in a jobthat does that automatically. I
put it in place unknowinglybecause the funny the joke
between my partner and I, we'reboth Virgos, and he is like
every Virgo attribute, and I amnone of them because we're
supposed to be like on it,organized, type a, like studious
(29:39):
people, and I am not that, whichmakes me question astrology as a
a thing. Still, it's it'schallenging, but I think the
more I try to understand myself,the better it goes.
But, like, even, like, I had todo a paper accompaniment to the
doc, and I was putting it offputting it off, and I was
telling my friend, I was like,All I have do is write the
paper. He's like, yeah, you'vebeen saying that for two weeks,
(30:02):
so write the paper. Like, Iknow. I know. I know.
And then it took a day to writeit. So that's what I'm trying to
that's my main mission right
Gino Akbari (30:10):
now is trying to stop procrastinating. You've
mentioned before that gettingdiagnosed earlier could have
significantly changed your life.Can you share what you would
have done differently if you hadthat understanding sooner? For
people listening and that arenot sure, would you advise them
to go and get checked soonerthan later? If you have a doubt,
(30:31):
just go in.
Emily Fitzpatrick (30:32):
Absolutely. Yeah, 100%. Speaking to the
women for this documentary, allof us had the same thought
process of like, why was Imissed? And like, what would I
have done differently because ofthat? And like, how would I have
been nicer to myself?
I think that was the biggestone, but yeah, no, I struggled
in high school with things Iwasn't passionate about. Like I
(30:53):
was great in English. I wasgreat in social because I found
those things interesting, butlike math and science, no. And
like, wasn't, I think what elsehappens is that you just accept
that you're bad at it and youdon't. There's no matter what I
do, I will be bad at math.
So why try? I think that kind ofcontinues, you know, like for
someone, like one of the women Ispoke to was trying to do her
(31:16):
real estate license and shestudied and studied and studied
and then failed by like twopoints and then tried to do it
again and failed by like onepoint, but then it was like too
too stupid to do this. So shedidn't end up getting it then. I
think in terms of like, would mylife have been differently? I
think I would have approachedthings differently.
And, you know, just like thethings that I've learned
(31:36):
recently to help myself, I wouldhave done that in other areas of
my life because, like, I went ayear and a half of university
and then I dropped out because Iwas like, I suck at this and I
won't won't be able to do this.So I just kind of accepted that
and then traveled for a fewyears and was like, hey, what am
I gonna do with my life? And, Ireally enjoyed Nate because it
(31:57):
was so hands on and it was like,go do this, go gather this, go
talk to people, make thisproject happen. And though
that's kind of my better way oflearning. And yeah, I think
like, it's like every woman Ijust spoke to for this, they're
like, there was a lot of relief,was a lot of answered questions,
(32:18):
there was a lot of anger orthere was a lot of grief or
there was a lot of anger towardsfamily for not recognizing this
when they were younger.
So I do think whether I wouldhave magically been good at math
is probably a no, but I wouldhave been able to be a bit nicer
to myself, I think, andrecognize my skills and my value
(32:41):
in other ways rather than justkind of assuming a blanket not
And good
Gino Akbari (32:46):
set yourself for success sooner rather than
later.
Emily Fitzpatrick (32:50):
Yeah. And like that doctor I spoke about
put in such easy terms wherehe's like, you're not gonna go
for this if you think you're notgood enough, you're not gonna
take that opportunity, you'renot gonna take, you know, that
course in university, you're notgonna think you can be a doctor
because you kind of justaccepted yourself for who you
are and your downfalls. So, andit's not going to be like that
(33:12):
for everyone, but I do think ifyou think you might have it, you
will be surprised if you arediagnosed by how much your mind
mindset can change and how muchempathy that you will end up
giving yourself. Because I was.It's an answer to a question you
(33:32):
didn't maybe know you werelooking for, but once you have
it, you're like, like you're, itkind of like things click into
place.
Yeah. So there had to be thatdiscussion and like so many
people, so many parents arefinding out at the same time as
their kids because they'll taketheir kids to get assessed and
then be like, Oh, that's me! So,heard that from a lot of doctors
that a lot of adults are gettingdiagnosed at the same time as
(33:53):
their kids. So, yeah, I think, Imean, I could even do a
follow-up study about, I I guesswe already said that, about the
effects a late diagnosis, but Ithink that's why there are
support groups that are so busy.Yeah, and just hearing the same
feelings was really gratifyingwhen doing the doc, talking to
these women and having the exactsame kind of wave of emotions
(34:17):
after getting diagnosed.
Yeah, it's been reallyinteresting and I recognise that
I'm very lucky to be able tospeak to the leading experts in
ADHD ask them questions for thedoc and for myself. So yeah, I
hope if anything, more researchkind of reduces the stigma and
gets more answers for peoplebecause I do think it's worth
the diagnosis even if you're inyour 50s or 60s.
Paul Cruz (34:45):
Introduce this new segment in our podcast, the
neurodiversity myth bustingphrase segment, and ask our
guest speaker a final question,your answer to one of the six
myth busting phrases. We willshow you, and please choose one
of them.
Emily Fitzpatrick (35:02):
I mean, I would say the one that spoke to
me first, the neurodiverseindividuals who lack social
skills. I think for me is a hugemyth because every report card I
ever had said I had tons ofsocial skills and all I had were
social skills. But I do thinkthat with ADHD, it makes us very
creative people and it makes us,I think, high functioning people
in terms of projects and thingsthat we're really passionate
(35:25):
about. And I know when I'mpassionate about something that
I talk about it to anyone. Like,I tend to ramble, but I get back
to where I'm going.
You just have to bear with me.But it's true, struggled, if I
have to speak For some reason ifI speak in a very large crowd of
people, I'm fine. If I speak ina smaller crowd of people, like
(35:45):
five or six, that's when I getreally nervous. Or that they're
my superiors, that's when I getreally nervous. But I do think
like anyone, that can cover somany people.
I think that, you you got methinking on both sides. Like, I
still say it's advanced. I thinkwe have great social skills. You
just have to kind of take us forwhat we are, and we will maybe
(36:06):
veer off from our originalpoint. But our I think maybe
even listening to how we gotthere can be eye opening and
give you some insight that maybeyou didn't think of.
So maybe listen a bit more to usand yeah, I think just, yeah, I
think now I don't even knowwhere to go, I'm not gonna
(36:27):
ramble. That is what I wasstruggling with in interview.
Like, I would answer the fullquestion and then be like, and
in conclusion, and say thequestion again. So, yeah, I
think we have great socialskills, especially when we're
passionate about somethingbecause we will be able to show
our passion, I think, clearerthan maybe someone that isn't
neurodiverse. And I think it'skind of infectious when we do
(36:49):
have passion about something inthe way we share it and the way
we get excited and the differentavenues that maybe we go down in
terms of our research or interms of what we learn about it.
I mean, that's one of myfavorite things about my job is
I get to learn a little bitabout a lot and that kind of
keeps things interesting andfresh. So that is how I will
answer it. That it is a myth.Thank you. I should have picked
(37:12):
an easier one.
Paul Cruz (37:12):
Thank you, Emily.
Emily Fitzpatrick (37:13):
Yeah, thank you guys.
Paul Cruz (37:15):
We hope to encourage our listeners to submit their
responses to the six mythbusting phrases on our website
at www.neurodiversityvoices.comand you could be featured on our
next podcast episode. That's allfor today's episode of the
neurodiversity voices podcast.Thank you so much for tuning in
(37:36):
and being part of this importantconversation.
Gino Akbari (37:39):
We hope you found today's discussion insightful
and inspiring. Remember, everyvoice matters. And together, we
can create a more inclusive andunderstanding world for
neurodivergent individuals.
Paul Cruz (37:51):
If you enjoyed this episode, please leave us a
rating and a review, and evenshare it with your friends,
family, or anyone who mightbenefit from these
conversations.
Gino Akbari (38:02):
Do you have any questions, ideas or stories
you'd like to share? Please feelfree to fill out our listeners
feedback and survey form, oreven apply to be our next guest
speaker on our website.
Paul Cruz (38:13):
We'd love to hear from you. Until next time, take
care, stay curious and keepcelebrating the beauty of
diverse minds.
Gino Akbari (38:21):
Thanks for listening to the Neurodiversity
Voices podcast.
Hello and welcome to the Neurodiversity Voices
podcast, where we celebrate andamplify the unique perspectives
and experiences of neurodiverseindividuals. And I'm thrilled to
have you join us on this journeyof exploration, advocacy and
celebration of neurodiversity.
Gino Akbari (00:21):
And I'm Gino Akbari, your volunteer co host.
Together we'll have meaningfulconversations, share inspiring
stories and challengemisconceptions about
neurodiversity.
Paul Cruz (00:32):
This podcast is for everyone. Whether you're
neurodivergent yourself, aneducator or parent, or just
someone curious to learn more,our goal is to amplify voices,
aster understanding and sparkchange in the way we view and
support neurodiversity.
Gino Akbari (00:47):
We're so excited to have you with us as we celebrate
the beauty of diverse minds andwork toward a more inclusive
future.
Paul Cruz (00:54):
So sit back, relax, and let's get started. Welcome
to the Neurodiversity Voicespodcast.
Gino Akbari (01:00):
ADHD is a condition that affects millions of people
worldwide. Yet its complexitiesare often misunderstood or
overlooked. For many, thejourney to understanding ADHD
begins with a diagnosis, whichcan bring clarity, challenges
and opportunities for growth. Inthis episode, we explore the
(01:20):
personal experiences ofnavigating ADHD. From the
discovery process to its impacton work, relationships and self
awareness.
Through open dialogue, aim toshed light on the emotional and
practical aspects of living withADHD while also addressing
advocacy, stigma, reduction andthe role of social media
(01:41):
spreading awareness. Whetheryou're seeking insight, support,
or inspiration, this discussionoffers a thoughtful perspective
in managing ADHD and embracingits unique challenges.
Paul Cruz (01:58):
Welcome to today's episode. I'm thrilled to
introduce our guest EmilyFitzpatrick, a CBC journalist,
advocate and researcher who hasbeen navigating life with ADHD
since her diagnosis during thepandemic. Emily, thank you so
much for joining us today.
Emily Fitzpatrick (02:15):
Thank you for having me.
Paul Cruz (02:21):
What's your understanding of ADHD evolved
since your diagnosis and whathas surprised you the most about
yourself?
Emily Fitzpatrick (02:29):
I think for me, my understanding before was
similar to a lot of people,where it was that hyperactive
child, you know, bouncing offthe walls and distracting
students, which I had a littlebit of, but that was kind of my
understanding of ADHD, like theinattentiveness. So, through my
process of getting diagnosed, Ilearned a lot of things that
(02:50):
I've just kind of thought weremy personality, were symptoms of
ADHD. So that was surprising tome, some of the things that I
struggled with. You know, therewas the inattentiveness, but
there was also not liking a lotof sounds around me or getting
kind of overstimulated by touch.Just like things I didn't think
(03:12):
I thought were just things Ididn't like.
Hearing people eat, I thoughtwas just a completely separate
thing. So I think, you know,going through it with my doctor
and hearing some of the symptomsand watching some TikToks and
hearing other people's symptoms,that kind of started to shift my
understanding of it. And that'skind of where I went. Have all
of these things. So as mydefinition expanded, that's kind
(03:34):
of what motivated me to get adiagnosis.
And the most surprising part wasprobably the dopamine and
chasing that dopamine high allthe time, which I just thought I
worked well under pressure. Butturns out if you get that little
spark of dopamine in your brain,it keeps you going for a while.
So that's something that I'vealways kind of chased. My
(03:54):
therapist was like, No, no,that's ADHD. So that was the
most surprising one for me.
Gino Akbari (03:59):
Right. So you told us what motivated to seek your
diagnosis. Did you find that thehealthcare providers were
supportive once you started theprocess?
Emily Fitzpatrick (04:09):
I didn't realize how lucky I was until I
started doing more research interms of the piece I did on ADHD
for work and now my thesis,because I've had the same family
doctor forever, so she'sprobably known forever. So for
me, it was basically booking anappointment with her and then
having like two hour appointmentgoing through the diagnosis,
(04:30):
like, check the spreadsheet withthe check marks of, do you do
this? Do you do this? And thenher basically being like, yeah,
girl, you have it. And then kindof working with her, which I
didn't realize was somethingthat not everyone got, to kind
of work on my dosage and whatkind of medication I tried.
We had a lot of follow-upappointments, so I thought it
(04:51):
was just that easy. But then itwas, you know, talking to my
brother who didn't have a familydoctor and he had to pay for his
assessment. He paid like $500and then the thought of, did I
just pay for them to give me theanswer I wanted or do I actually
have ADHD? Like that kind ofmind play there, and and then
just talking to people who hadto wait like six months for a
(05:13):
psychiatric assessment. So yeah,I got really lucky and didn't
really realize how lucky I gotjust based on never leaving my
doctor.
Paul Cruz (05:25):
In what ways has ADHD benefited your approach to work
and how have you adapted toovercome challenges?
Emily Fitzpatrick (05:32):
I think with that, like originally I had a
lot of, I wouldn't say guilt,but originally I didn't want to
be a burden and I didn't want toask for accommodations, because
I still, I think in thebeginning I was feeling a little
bit of stigma and shame aroundit. So originally I didn't ask
for any help. And then I did a,you know, eight minute piece on
(05:53):
ADHD and women and kind of cameout to everyone in my office at
the same time. So that was oneway to do it. I think the things
that I have found over the lasttwo or two ish years that I've
had it, is just knowing when tokind of check myself when I know
I'm I'm being bad and doingthings that I shouldn't be doing
(06:13):
that are not work, just likechatting and, like, putting off
getting started.
Because getting started hasalways been, like, trickiest
thing for me. Once I'm, once Istart, usually I'm, I'm good,
but getting to the startingpoint. So I think if anything,
I've been able to check myselfand be like, okay, you know, you
know, the stars part, just getgoing. You don't want to work
late. You don't want to leaveeverything to the last minute
because you don't do well inthat because you miss things.
(06:36):
Knowing when that I should gohide in an office or put my
noise canceling headphones on ortell a colleague, no, I gotta I
gotta lock in now. So I thinkjust the ability to have a
little grace with myself andknow and call myself on it
without feeling like, can't I dothis? Why can't I get started?
You're so annoying. Like, why,like, why are you doing this to
(06:56):
yourself?
Like, instead of feeling thatgoing through that cycle, it's
more of like a, okay, you needto, get together, go sit in an
office and just turn this out.So I think it's more just I
understand myself a bit more, Idon't waste time questioning.
Gino Akbari (07:09):
So Emily, how has your ADHD diagnosis impacted
your relationships with familymembers? Have you discovered any
shared experiences with them?
Emily Fitzpatrick (07:18):
Yes. So of the four siblings, or I guess
three include four including me.Wow. Three of us have ADHD, all
diagnosed within the last fewyears. So that has been very
interesting around the familydinner table, kind of talking
about, you know, why we docertain things, how we all kind
of have slightly differentsymptoms, people, helping each
(07:40):
other out.
My youngest brother just starteduniversity, so I was able to
help him out with things thatwere really beneficial for me
when I started school. I'm at alater age in terms of the apps
that are now available forstudents and AI and that kind of
stuff, helping him find that.Those tools have, has been
really nice in the bondingmoment. You know, teasing my
(08:01):
parents who gave everyone ADHDhas been fun for us, less fun
for them. But, yeah, so it'skind of been a fun little
bonding moment and then kind ofcomparing, like my brother is
trying the generic Vyvanse rightnow and kind of get like that
work for you, talking about whatkind of dosage we're on, asking
for each other's medication ifthey run out, which I had to
(08:24):
shut down.
But yeah, it's been a fun littlebrother bonding moment with all
of us struggling.
Gino Akbari (08:30):
That's your support group, which is also your
family.
Emily Fitzpatrick (08:34):
It's true. Those were the first people I
kind of talked about getting adiagnosis with. So again, they
were kind of the first peoplethere, and I think it was me
talking about how it's helped methat motivated my one brother to
go and then so on. Yeah, so thatwas kind of a nice surprise.
Gino Akbari (08:51):
I know you told earlier that some of the
emotional hurdles that youfaced, but after your diagnosis,
you find, has it been more of apositive thing or a balance
between a negative and positiveonce you heard that you had
ADHD?
Emily Fitzpatrick (09:05):
I think it has shifted to more positive,
but yeah, there's certainly somethings you need to tackle once
you get the answer, especiallyas an adult, because it does
have more of an effect, I think,than I realized. The feeling of
not ever think like, no matterhow hard I try, it's not going
be good enough, or I'm notsmart. I, no matter how much I
(09:27):
study, I still don't understandthis stuff, or I can't remember
anything. So it's kind ofworking through that and working
through like, I think ifanything, yeah, the ability to
give yourself a little bit ofgrace is the strongest emotion I
felt. Like I was mad about somethings I didn't think I was good
enough for, so I didn't pursue.
And I know my brothers kind ofechoed that because all of us
(09:49):
kind of dabbled in universitybefore we found something that
we were passionate enough aboutthat we could do it. So there's
kind of that period of mourning,but then yeah, the ability to
let yourself off the hook a bitmore, I think has been the most
has outweighed the negative forme. But I know it's everyone has
kind of a different journey andI was lucky that like my dad was
(10:11):
a journalist, so I knew in gradefive that I wanted to do this.
So I always kind of had thatpassion for it. And the program
I went to at NAIT is very likehands on learning and that's the
best for me.
So I kind of was lucky in thatregard. Not everyone has been.
So yeah, it's been interestingto hear a lot of people's
stories, especially the age thatthey get diagnosed, you know,
(10:32):
like people are gettingdiagnosed in their sixties and
seventies and like, that must bedifficult. So yeah, there's a
lot of feelings that go on whenyou get this like answer that
you maybe were searching for, orjust kind of always questioning
what was up. Yeah, a lot ofdifferent emotions go through
your head.
Yeah, it's quite interesting.
Paul Cruz (10:52):
What tools or strategies have been most
effective for you in managingADHD, especially in high
pressure situations?
Emily Fitzpatrick (10:59):
Yeah, I mean Vyvanse has been, right?
Remembering to take it is alsogreat. I was saying earlier that
I do thrive in high pressuresituations, so that's always
where I do the best. When I haveextra time, that's where I do
the work. Because I stopped it.
I won't take it every weekend.Like, sometimes I don't take it
on vacation. So I like that Ican kind of make it work for me.
(11:24):
So that was less scary off thetop. And I I I understand, like,
it's a it's a scary medicationto take off, like with it being
a stimulant, but, and like oftenlike people will be like, do
you, do you notice a difference?
I'm like, yeah, I'm not goingtake it every day if I don't
notice a difference. That hasbeen beneficial. Like we said
earlier, there's kind of likethat, that check system that I
(11:44):
know when to get down tobusiness, and I know that I need
to, like, go to a coffee shop ifI'm not being able to work at
home in terms of working on,like, my schoolwork. I was
usually doing it on theweekends, so I'm tired, and if
I'm stay at home, then I knowI'm not going to do it. So I've
spent a lot of time in coffeeshops because I like people
around me and I like being ableto, you know, get a sweet treat
(12:05):
and do my work.
So that I found works reallywell for me. Noise canceling
headphones have worked reallywell because if I'm not able to
isolate myself fully, at least Ican isolate the noise and kind
of focus in that way. Like, Iwork exclusively with, like,
movie scores, so I can't listento lyrics when I work or I start
writing lyrics. So I have awhole, like, twenty four hour
(12:27):
playlist of movie scores. Oh,yeah.
Just know I guess you kind ofstart to develop a toolkit of
what works for you and how youcan keep yourself going. Like,
I've tried the PomodoroTechnique, but usually I'm
either checking to see how muchtime is left or I'm extending
the breaks. So I do feel likethat I can't remember what the
ADHD term for it is, but, like,the body doubling. That helps me
(12:49):
just, being at a at a coffeeshop on my computer. I can look
up if I want to get distracted,but I'm not going to sit there
and watch TikTok at a coffeeshop.
So yeah, I think it's slowlystarting to I'm finding the
things that work for me and likenot every day is perfect, but I
was telling my mom the otherday, she said, don't doesn't
your medication make you likestay on task? I was like, yeah,
(13:12):
but sometimes I'm more powerfulthan my medication mom. Like I
could push right through andstill distract myself. So yeah,
I think the high pressuresituations are ideal for me,
which is kind of where I'vegotten into trouble, I crave
that deadline and I crave thetime crunch. So I'm trying to
develop skills outside of thatto keep myself working, I guess.
Gino Akbari (13:34):
So how has sharing your personal story given a
positive perspective on ADHD?
Emily Fitzpatrick (13:40):
I think it's just been really like freeing, I
guess. I think because it's, Ithink the stigma is decreasing,
I guess. I I don't know why Inever really felt much shame or
I like I felt a bit, but I neverreally felt much shame telling
people because it's more of justlike this it's like who I it's a
part of me. And it wasn't, I wastelling you guys, like, I did
(14:03):
this piece for about my ADHDdiagnosis and how more people
are during the pandemic weregetting diagnosed. And it wasn't
until like the night before thatcame out that I was like, oh,
wow, like I'm really sharingthis.
That was, there was a bit offear that night. And I guess I
just, I don't know, I've alwayskind of been an open person, so
I never really felt like a shamein getting a diagnosis. Cause I
(14:26):
guess for me it was so, itexplained so much that it was
just, it made me happy in otherregards. So I was like, guess
you won't, you won't believewhat I just got diagnosed with
or what, what the things I'vebeen doing forever. I have a
reason for it now.
Yeah. Like, I know you you guyshave been telling me you're two
minutes away when you're fifteenminutes away for decades because
(14:49):
I'm never on time. Yeah. Butnow, I'm sorry, it's just my
brain chemistry. My clocks areare like ten minutes ahead, but
like eight or like twelve orlike fourteen minutes ahead so
that I forget which one iswhich.
It drives my partner crazy,because he's like, all of our
clocks are wrong. I'm like, I'mon time now. Yeah.
Paul Cruz (15:13):
Inspired you to focus your pieces on ADHD awareness on
TikTok and how do you navigatethe balance between helpful
content and misinformation?
Emily Fitzpatrick (15:25):
I think the first off, like, I kind of had
an idea that as an idea in myhead when I first started my
master's, but I didn't know Ididn't I wasn't fully committed.
But then someone that had doneher master's a few years earlier
basically was like, you're goingto spend a year of your life
with this. So make sure it'ssomething you're passionate
about because otherwise you willbe sick of it by the end. So
(15:47):
that kind of was what solidifiedthe decision. And I thought it
was really interesting becauseit is such a growing, it's just
a phenomenon right now, I wouldsay.
So I kind of felt that part wasinteresting because it's, it's,
there's not been a lot ofresearch on it, which I found
during my literature review. Sothat kind of was what I was like
this is happening right now,people are talking about it,
(16:08):
maybe not in the academic sense,so I think it will be an
interesting thesis topic. Andonce I was able to so it's a
documentary film because Iwanted to do it as a film
because it's such a visualplatform and a lot of people I
think would rather watch a filmthan read an 18,000 word paper
and I would rather make one thanwrite an 18,000 word paper.
(16:32):
Yeah, like if I can't make itthrough a paper, why would I
write one? So yeah, basically Ipitched it as my thesis and both
the first people I pitched it todidn't even know it was
happening, so I thought thatwas, I was like, this is maybe
the right direction to go.
It was real, it was fascinating.I'm so happy I did it. I'm happy
(16:54):
the way it turned out. And I wasshocked. I thought the hardest
part would be finding peoplethat would go on camera and
discuss getting diagnosed withADHD in their adulthood.
I thought that would beimpossible. And many people did
too, and told me that. But like,I had like 10 women respond to
me saying, yeah, men, like, areyou sure? And it was amazing. I
(17:15):
couldn't have done it withoutthem.
Just like the openness and thevulnerability that they shared
with me, I was I'm so gratefulfor them. Just being able to
talk to three women that hadsimilar experiences to me, were
all been diagnosed in the lastfive years, I thought was
really, really interesting. Thenspeaking to, I was able to ask
kind of like questions that Iwas wondering about, so I think
that helped in terms of some ofthe answers I got. And I knew
(17:39):
that I did have to focus I mean,my entire thesis question is
that, like is the informationmore helpful than the
misinformation? Which is a hardquestion to answer but for the
women I spoke to, it's more it'slike being able to broaden the
definition of ADHD, being ableto see people dealing with the
same things that you are, andthen, you know, leading you to
do research on your own has beenmore beneficial than, you know,
(18:04):
certain videos maybe kind ofboiling down the definition to
get some likes.
And I think like, yeah, I try tostress in it as long as you, you
know, have a conversation withyour doctor, how you do your own
research and you kind of figureit out for yourself after you
watch TikTok, that's the mostimportant thing. But I think the
fact that it's like reducingstigma around ADHD, it's
(18:27):
broadened the definition,especially for women from that,
you know, hyperactive boy to allof these things are symptoms.
All of these things I strugglewith. I think it's been really
beneficial. And if anything,like it's kind of highlighted
some, the medical system is kindof playing catch up.
And if anything, maybe it willmotivate people in power there
(18:49):
to implement more training fordoctors about diagnosing ADHD or
just more research, and italready has. The States is
working on a new regulation forADHD right now that's coming
out, so I think the surge mightchange some things, which also I
think is more beneficial thansome misinformation. But there
(19:12):
are some things and there aresome dangers to it and self
diagnosing, they're going tohave to do a lot more research
on that and the benefit of theimpacts of that.
Gino Akbari (19:21):
So in your experience, Emily, how do you
balance advocating for yourworkplace needs, like using
noise canceling headphones orseeking quieter spaces while
managing feelings of being aburden requiring special
treatment?
Emily Fitzpatrick (19:36):
I think I'm still kind of dealing with that.
Like, no one I think a lot ofjournalists have ADHD. Like, I
don't wanna generalize, but whena business is built on deadlines
and, you know, a different storyevery day, it attracts a lot of
people that, that look at. So Ihaven't had any issues in terms
of like noise cancelingheadphones or disappearing for a
few hours into a room. I don'tknow if I've really explored
(19:59):
some of the, like I have peoplethat I've met through this that,
you know, they have different,things in place at their work
that I don't know if I wouldeven need, but you know, all the
power to them for advocating forthemselves.
So I think if anything, it'sjust like, oh, yeah, I think I'm
still kind of battling withthat. But yeah.
Paul Cruz (20:24):
What personal advice would you give to someone who
suspects they might have ADHDbut is unsure about seeking a
diagnosis?
Emily Fitzpatrick (20:33):
I mean, I think it's a personal journey
for everyone. And like I waseven talking with my partner
last night and he was talkingabout my project to someone and
they were saying, oh yeah, Ithink I definitely have it. But
look what I've built for myself,which I didn't know, I didn't
really know how to react tobecause I'm like, I don't,
(20:56):
nothing has to change if you geta diagnosis, a formal diagnosis,
however you want to approach it.It was very beneficial and I
know myself better and I knowhow to work with myself better
and I'm able to give myself moregrace because of this diagnosis.
But I understand, like, noteveryone feels they're ready for
it.
If they know in their brain, Ithink I have it and that's
(21:18):
enough for me now, all the powerto them. I found it very
beneficial. So I guess my advicewould be do your own research
outside of TikTok, talk to adoctor or a doctor adjacent and
kind of approach it with yourown comfort level in mind,
because I know it's scary forsome people. But I think for me,
(21:38):
the benefits have outweighedkind of the fear that I had
going into it. And I wish Iwould have done it sooner.
So yeah, I think that would bemy advice. I was surprised by
how much lighter I felt byhaving a reason and kind of
letting go of some of that shameafter like thirty some years of
unknowingly carrying it.
Gino Akbari (21:59):
So you're here now with everything you know. How do
you envision your journey withADHD shaping your future goals
and your personal growth?
Emily Fitzpatrick (22:09):
Well, I think I'm like already doing that.
Like, I never would have had theguts to go back to school pre
diagnosis. Like, I've knownabout this program that I'm in
at Royal Roads for years, Causemy dad did it back in the early
two thousand. So I've knownabout it for years and known
that I might want to do it, butI never really had the guts to
(22:30):
do it because I didn't think Iwas smart enough. And so, yeah,
it wasn't long after I gotdiagnosed that I kind of pulled
the trigger and applied.
And even after that, like I gotA's in all my classes and I
didn't think that was possiblefor me. So that has given me so
much confidence in terms ofappreciating myself a bit more.
(22:50):
So I think I'm already in a goodplace with it and already kind
of using it to my advantage, Iguess, in terms of not missing
any more opportunities and notholding myself back because I
think that I can't do it, whichhas been pretty powerful for me.
So I want to just kind ofcontinue that
Gino Akbari (23:09):
journey. ADHD is often described as a blanket
term, and like how fibromyalgiais viewed, covering like a wide
range of symptoms. It's hard topinpoint. So do you find that
frustrating or is having thediagnosis still helpful in
making sense of your experience?
Emily Fitzpatrick (23:28):
Yeah, think like it's a very personal thing.
Like a lot of people, I don'tknow of a lot of people, but
certain people don't recognizeit as a real thing. And I think
ADHD has a similar kind of vibeto it where they see it as, you
know, hyperactive kid,inattentive. Yeah, so I think, I
hope the understanding of itshifts, but like, don't, I have
(23:53):
to not care what other people'sversion of it is because I know
what it's done for me and howit's benefited me to know. But I
do think, yeah, it's tricky.
Like I, the symptoms so muchoverlap, some of the symptoms so
much overlap, like just like thebrain rot that has been caused
by our phones and our attentionspan over the last few decades.
(24:14):
So some of the psychiatriststhat I spoke to was saying like,
it's going to be interesting tokind of separate them so it
doesn't become a big blanketdefinition and so many symptoms
overlap with what children arestruggling with now.
Gino Akbari (24:30):
Yeah. And sorry to interrupt Emily, but these
podcasts and your YouTube clipsand all that all help because
I'm guilty of it too. Mean, I'vehad a close friend that was
always late and I've worked withthe military and for me I could
never, no, I would be like, no,you're late because you're being
lazy and because you're notrespecting my time. But five
(24:53):
years ago he was diagnosed withADHD and he was trying to
explain the process of when heis leaving home and what happens
to him before he leaves home.And to me it was so difficult to
understand.
I'm like, well, maybe you're notgiving it enough urgency, you
know? So through that, bit bybit myself, I had to get
(25:15):
educated and understand. Talkingto you and listening to you
furthermore increases thatliteracy for me. It does help.
It's giving me perspective andmaking the lanes narrower and
narrower in terms of, oh, thisis the result of this diagnosis
and this is the result of thatdiagnosis.
Emily Fitzpatrick (25:34):
Yeah, for sure. I mean, it's been a
journey with my partner becausehe's like type A, which I'm
like, is that what I wasattracted to? Someone that would
keep me keep me in line in termsof like, because now when we
leave the the house, he goesphone wallet, keys. I'm like, do
check for my phone wallet keys.Like, when I first started going
on medication, I was like, Ithink you're gonna have to watch
more than like, because so manythings were ingrained in how I,
(25:58):
you know, approach leaving thehouse or getting ready for work
and that kind of stuff.
So I was like, I think you'regoing to have to watch me and
tell me what's, what things younotice when I start this
medication, because I don't knowwhat type of things I'm doing
anymore. So he was able toactually point out like, you're
not like running around when youleave now, like you're a lot
calmer when you leave the house.It's and yeah, just educating
(26:19):
him like, I try so hard to be ontime. I really, really, really
do. But then like there, I mean,my psychiatrist put it like, you
get the dopamine of being like,okay, how close can I cut it to
when I have to leave?
And then, you know, fifteenminutes goes by in two seconds.
Learning about time blindnesswas like my first, like, when I
first started looking atsymptoms, because like time goes
(26:42):
by very strange, like very, veryquickly for me and then very,
very slowly. Yeah. Anytime Ineed to be somewhere on time, it
goes by at like the speed oflight. For this, I woke up, I
woke up at nine this morning andI had this at noon, and I was
like, oh, I should go for awalk.
And I was like, well, by thetime I eat, it's gonna be 09:30,
and then, like, I'm gonna wannahang out for a bit, and then
it'll be ten, but then I won'tbe back till, like, eleven, and
(27:03):
then that might be too close tocall. Like, this all goes I have
three hours. I could have gonefor a walk. Yeah. I've been off
for the last, like, few weekstrying to get the thesis done.
I I I started kind of myinsomnia came back, and I was
dealing with some stuff, I waslike, I don't know why, like,
I'm having such a hard time. AndI realized my routine is
completely off because usually Ihave bought the fancy Hatch
(27:25):
Alarm Clock that plays music,and I used to play that at night
so that I would do it plays forthirty minutes, so I know that's
like my TikTok time, and then Itransition to reading when the
other music comes on, and likejust having schedules and like a
plan in place kept me kind of onschedule and together and not
(27:45):
having that I'm like oh I kindof miss it and I never really
thought I was that kind ofperson but yeah it's honestly
like it's I learn about it everyday and I think now I'm more of
in like the curiosity phase withADHD where I'm like, is this
part of it? Is this, is thissomething I need? Is this
something that I've done to workwith my ADHD unknowingly? So
(28:08):
yeah, I'm very much in like akind of curiosity phase right
now where things come to me allthe time where I'm like, oh
yeah, this could be somethingthat bothers me for this reason
because of this, or this couldbe something I do because of
this.
So yeah, yeah. I mean, doing athesis, was afraid because I was
like, oh, I am the deadline. Sothat is usually bad for me. So,
(28:29):
you know, it was like puttingin, you know, taking time off.
So I knew by the end of my timeoff, need to have it done
because I I'm not as good doingtwo things at once.
Gino Akbari (28:38):
So No. Those are all the same for everyone,
Emily. Yeah. My wife did mythesis too, and I feel like she
had ADHD at that time too.
Emily Fitzpatrick (28:47):
So Well, you're, like, so sick of it.
You're even, like, taking thetime off. I like wrote the
script for the documentary inlike four or five days after
taking like months of just like,can't do it. I don't know. I
don't know if I could do it.
Was like, took four days? Like,are you kidding me? Why didn't I
do this a month ago?
Gino Akbari (29:04):
So so I'm gathering that giving yourself structure
really helps. Deadlines andstructures. Like, if somebody
had to help, they would justcreate a timetable for you, and
it would make day to day mucheasier. Is that is that right?
Emily Fitzpatrick (29:18):
Not a timetable. That's too far. Like,
I still found myself in a jobthat does that automatically. I
put it in place unknowinglybecause the funny the joke
between my partner and I, we'reboth Virgos, and he is like
every Virgo attribute, and I amnone of them because we're
supposed to be like on it,organized, type a, like studious
(29:39):
people, and I am not that, whichmakes me question astrology as a
a thing. Still, it's it'schallenging, but I think the
more I try to understand myself,the better it goes.
But, like, even, like, I had todo a paper accompaniment to the
doc, and I was putting it offputting it off, and I was
telling my friend, I was like,All I have do is write the
paper. He's like, yeah, you'vebeen saying that for two weeks,
(30:02):
so write the paper. Like, Iknow. I know. I know.
And then it took a day to writeit. So that's what I'm trying to
that's my main mission right
Gino Akbari (30:10):
now is trying to stop procrastinating. You've
mentioned before that gettingdiagnosed earlier could have
significantly changed your life.Can you share what you would
have done differently if you hadthat understanding sooner? For
people listening and that arenot sure, would you advise them
to go and get checked soonerthan later? If you have a doubt,
(30:31):
just go in.
Emily Fitzpatrick (30:32):
Absolutely. Yeah, 100%. Speaking to the
women for this documentary, allof us had the same thought
process of like, why was Imissed? And like, what would I
have done differently because ofthat? And like, how would I have
been nicer to myself?
I think that was the biggestone, but yeah, no, I struggled
in high school with things Iwasn't passionate about. Like I
(30:53):
was great in English. I wasgreat in social because I found
those things interesting, butlike math and science, no. And
like, wasn't, I think what elsehappens is that you just accept
that you're bad at it and youdon't. There's no matter what I
do, I will be bad at math.
So why try? I think that kind ofcontinues, you know, like for
someone, like one of the women Ispoke to was trying to do her
(31:16):
real estate license and shestudied and studied and studied
and then failed by like twopoints and then tried to do it
again and failed by like onepoint, but then it was like too
too stupid to do this. So shedidn't end up getting it then. I
think in terms of like, would mylife have been differently? I
think I would have approachedthings differently.
And, you know, just like thethings that I've learned
(31:36):
recently to help myself, I wouldhave done that in other areas of
my life because, like, I went ayear and a half of university
and then I dropped out because Iwas like, I suck at this and I
won't won't be able to do this.So I just kind of accepted that
and then traveled for a fewyears and was like, hey, what am
I gonna do with my life? And, Ireally enjoyed Nate because it
(31:57):
was so hands on and it was like,go do this, go gather this, go
talk to people, make thisproject happen. And though
that's kind of my better way oflearning. And yeah, I think
like, it's like every woman Ijust spoke to for this, they're
like, there was a lot of relief,was a lot of answered questions,
(32:18):
there was a lot of anger orthere was a lot of grief or
there was a lot of anger towardsfamily for not recognizing this
when they were younger.
So I do think whether I wouldhave magically been good at math
is probably a no, but I wouldhave been able to be a bit nicer
to myself, I think, andrecognize my skills and my value
(32:41):
in other ways rather than justkind of assuming a blanket not
And good
Gino Akbari (32:46):
set yourself for success sooner rather than
later.
Emily Fitzpatrick (32:50):
Yeah. And like that doctor I spoke about
put in such easy terms wherehe's like, you're not gonna go
for this if you think you're notgood enough, you're not gonna
take that opportunity, you'renot gonna take, you know, that
course in university, you're notgonna think you can be a doctor
because you kind of justaccepted yourself for who you
are and your downfalls. So, andit's not going to be like that
(33:12):
for everyone, but I do think ifyou think you might have it, you
will be surprised if you arediagnosed by how much your mind
mindset can change and how muchempathy that you will end up
giving yourself. Because I was.It's an answer to a question you
(33:32):
didn't maybe know you werelooking for, but once you have
it, you're like, like you're, itkind of like things click into
place.
Yeah. So there had to be thatdiscussion and like so many
people, so many parents arefinding out at the same time as
their kids because they'll taketheir kids to get assessed and
then be like, Oh, that's me! So,heard that from a lot of doctors
that a lot of adults are gettingdiagnosed at the same time as
(33:53):
their kids. So, yeah, I think, Imean, I could even do a
follow-up study about, I I guesswe already said that, about the
effects a late diagnosis, but Ithink that's why there are
support groups that are so busy.Yeah, and just hearing the same
feelings was really gratifyingwhen doing the doc, talking to
these women and having the exactsame kind of wave of emotions
(34:17):
after getting diagnosed.
Yeah, it's been reallyinteresting and I recognise that
I'm very lucky to be able tospeak to the leading experts in
ADHD ask them questions for thedoc and for myself. So yeah, I
hope if anything, more researchkind of reduces the stigma and
gets more answers for peoplebecause I do think it's worth
the diagnosis even if you're inyour 50s or 60s.
Paul Cruz (34:45):
Introduce this new segment in our podcast, the
neurodiversity myth bustingphrase segment, and ask our
guest speaker a final question,your answer to one of the six
myth busting phrases. We willshow you, and please choose one
of them.
Emily Fitzpatrick (35:02):
I mean, I would say the one that spoke to
me first, the neurodiverseindividuals who lack social
skills. I think for me is a hugemyth because every report card I
ever had said I had tons ofsocial skills and all I had were
social skills. But I do thinkthat with ADHD, it makes us very
creative people and it makes us,I think, high functioning people
in terms of projects and thingsthat we're really passionate
(35:25):
about. And I know when I'mpassionate about something that
I talk about it to anyone. Like,I tend to ramble, but I get back
to where I'm going.
You just have to bear with me.But it's true, struggled, if I
have to speak For some reason ifI speak in a very large crowd of
people, I'm fine. If I speak ina smaller crowd of people, like
(35:45):
five or six, that's when I getreally nervous. Or that they're
my superiors, that's when I getreally nervous. But I do think
like anyone, that can cover somany people.
I think that, you you got methinking on both sides. Like, I
still say it's advanced. I thinkwe have great social skills. You
just have to kind of take us forwhat we are, and we will maybe
(36:06):
veer off from our originalpoint. But our I think maybe
even listening to how we gotthere can be eye opening and
give you some insight that maybeyou didn't think of.
So maybe listen a bit more to usand yeah, I think just, yeah, I
think now I don't even knowwhere to go, I'm not gonna
(36:27):
ramble. That is what I wasstruggling with in interview.
Like, I would answer the fullquestion and then be like, and
in conclusion, and say thequestion again. So, yeah, I
think we have great socialskills, especially when we're
passionate about somethingbecause we will be able to show
our passion, I think, clearerthan maybe someone that isn't
neurodiverse. And I think it'skind of infectious when we do
(36:49):
have passion about something inthe way we share it and the way
we get excited and the differentavenues that maybe we go down in
terms of our research or interms of what we learn about it.
I mean, that's one of myfavorite things about my job is
I get to learn a little bitabout a lot and that kind of
keeps things interesting andfresh. So that is how I will
answer it. That it is a myth.Thank you. I should have picked
(37:12):
an easier one.
Paul Cruz (37:12):
Thank you, Emily.
Emily Fitzpatrick (37:13):
Yeah, thank you guys.
Paul Cruz (37:15):
We hope to encourage our listeners to submit their
responses to the six mythbusting phrases on our website
at www.neurodiversityvoices.comand you could be featured on our
next podcast episode. That's allfor today's episode of the
neurodiversity voices podcast.Thank you so much for tuning in
(37:36):
and being part of this importantconversation.
Gino Akbari (37:39):
We hope you found today's discussion insightful
and inspiring. Remember, everyvoice matters. And together, we
can create a more inclusive andunderstanding world for
neurodivergent individuals.
Paul Cruz (37:51):
If you enjoyed this episode, please leave us a
rating and a review, and evenshare it with your friends,
family, or anyone who mightbenefit from these
conversations.
Gino Akbari (38:02):
Do you have any questions, ideas or stories
you'd like to share? Please feelfree to fill out our listeners
feedback and survey form, oreven apply to be our next guest
speaker on our website.
Paul Cruz (38:13):
We'd love to hear from you. Until next time, take
care, stay curious and keepcelebrating the beauty of
diverse minds.
Gino Akbari (38:21):
Thanks for listening to the Neurodiversity
Voices podcast.
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