September 15, 2025 • 33 mins
Hosts Paul Cruz and Gino Akbari interview Michelle Steiner, a writer, photographer, paraeducator, and disability advocate who lives with an invisible disability.
Despite being told what she couldn’t do, Michelle has forged her own path—earning her degree, publishing widely in outlets like The Mighty and Word Gathering, and building a career supporting students with disabilities. Through resilience, creativity, and self-advocacy, Michelle has challenged misconceptions and continues to inspire others to embrace their strengths.
Memorable Quotes
“Just because people can’t see my disability doesn’t mean it’s not there.”
“I did it afraid. And when I started focusing on what I could do, I began to see success.”
“Having a disability isn’t a weakness—it can become a strength.”
Connect with Michelle:
Website: https://www.michellesmission.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/michelle.steiner.493966/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/steiner7250/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michelle-steiner-0573ba260/
Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/michellesmission.bsky.social
Connect With Us
- Learn more about the Neurodiversity Voices Podcast: www.neurodiversityvoices.com
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Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Invisible Disabilities
04:46 Resilience and Overcoming Challenges
08:05 Education and Advocacy in Disability
09:53 The Role of a Paraeducator
11:34 Writing as a Form of Expression
15:23 Photography and Perspective
17:40 Challenging Misconceptions
19:40 Supporting Students with Disabilities
21:22 Empowerment and Personal Growth
23:25 Current Projects and Future Aspirations
24:39 Relationships and Acceptance
28:32 Coping Mechanisms and Support Systems
31:57 A Vision for an Inclusive World
33:16 Engagement and Community Building
Disclaimer:
The content provided in this podcast is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay seeking it because of something you have heard on this podcast.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Paul Cruz (00:05):
Hello and welcome to the Neurodiversity Voices
podcast. I'm your host, PaulCruz, and I'm thrilled to have
you join us on this journey ofexploration, advocacy and
celebration of neurodiversity.
Gino Akbari (00:17):
And I'm Gino Akbari, your co host. Together,
we'll have meaningfulconversations, share inspiring
stories and challengemisconceptions about
neurodiversity.
Paul Cruz (00:27):
This podcast is for everyone. Whether you're
neurodivergent yourself, aneducator, a parent, or just
someone curious to learn more,our goal is to amplify voices,
foster understanding, and sparkchange in the way we view and
support neurodiversity.
Gino Akbari (00:44):
I'm so excited to have you with us as we celebrate
the beauty of diverse minds andwork toward a more inclusive
future.
Paul Cruz (00:51):
So sit back, relax, and let's get started. Welcome
to the Neurodiversity VoicesPodcast.
Gino Akbari (01:01):
Welcome to the Neurodiversity Voices Podcast,
where we amplify stories andinsights from across the
neurodiverse and disabilitycommunity. Today, we are joined
by Michelle Steiner, a writer,photographer, and disability
advocate living with aninvisible disability. Despite
being told she couldn't go tocollege, publish her work, or
(01:23):
pursue a career she wanted,Michelle has done all of that
and more. She earned her degreein community programming from
Slippery Rock University, worksas a paraeducator supporting
students with disabilities, andhas been widely published in
outlets such as The Mighty andWard Gathering. We're excited to
learn more about her journey andthe lessons she has to share.
(01:47):
Welcome, Michelle.
Michelle Steiner (01:47):
Hey, thank you so much for having me. I'm
looking forward to havingthis conversation.
Gino Akbari: We are excited to have you. So let's get right into it. Now you've described living with an invisible disability. Can (02:04):
undefined
you share what that has meantfor you in your everyday life
and what is it?
Michelle Steiner (02:09):
Right. An invisible disability is one that
a disability that people cannotsee. I think a lot of times when
I tell people that I have alearning disability, they'll
often say to me, You don't looklike you're disabled. And we're
so used to as a society, yetseeing the wheelchair or maybe a
(02:31):
visible mark that might indicatesomething such as Down syndrome.
We're so used to the canes thatwe sometimes think that if
somebody is saying that theyhave a disability they can't
see, it's just it isn't true.
Just because people can't see mydisability does not mean that
it's not there and it does notmean that it doesn't impact my
(02:51):
life.
Gino Akbari (02:52):
That is a powerful way of describing it. It really
helps set the stage forunderstanding your journey.
Paul Cruz (03:03):
Growing up, people often told you what you couldn't
do. How did you find thedetermination to prove them
wrong?
Michelle Steiner (03:10):
I can remember that was really frustrating for
me because I knew what I wantedand people were telling me that
I couldn't, but some of theadvice that I was getting wasn't
necessarily the best. And I canjust remember I followed what I
did it afraid. I went to collegewhen people were telling me you
can't go to college because ofyour math difficulties. Why
(03:32):
don't you go to trade school?And nothing there interested me.
So I didn't think that that wasthe best journey. So I went
ahead and I did that afraid. Ialso had a psychiatrist who told
me I want to go past communitycollege. And in all those
struggles, I was a very negativeperson at that time. I really
focused on more of what Icouldn't do.
And I focused more about thesituation, the things that were
(03:55):
really giving me difficultieswhere I didn't focus a lot on
the things that I could do. AndI think one of the things that
definitely helped was havingsupport from family and friends.
My parents never gave up on me.I had friends that could not fix
my disability, but could be myfriend. And sometimes that was
really important.
And when I started to have thatshift, was finding things that
(04:16):
worked for me and finding thingsthat I was good at and that I
really enjoyed doing and findinga way to do that. And that's
when I started to have thatconfidence and I realized I
could have that success. A longtime ago, I felt, well, the only
way I can have success is if Ihave my disability and it goes
away. And I've been able toachieve a lot of things, but I
(04:40):
still have a disability. So Ithink it's just that finding a
way to do things and engaging inthe things that I love to do.
Gino Akbari (04:49):
It sounds like resilience has been a huge theme
for you. What do you wish morepeople understood about
invisible disabilities?
Michelle Steiner (04:58):
Understood about invisible disabilities is
that they are real because somany times people want to
dismiss that, that it must notbe a real thing. I get this a
lot of times with people whoknow me and they'll tell me, you
can't be disabled. You must'vebeen able to overcome it because
you have a bachelor's degree oryou've had an article published.
(05:21):
I have to say, yes, I've had alot of that success, but I still
have a disability and oftentimesyou know just people on the
street. They'll think well whatis wrong with you?
I know somebody that has thiskind of disability and they're
either able to do what I can'tdo or they might say, well, you
really don't have it that hard.I remember there was somebody
(05:42):
that was I was venting that itwas really difficult because in
a class that I was strugglingwith and a woman said, well, you
should really consider yourselflucky. I saw at the store
someone with no arms or no legsand you could have life a lot
worse. And while I don't knowthe circumstances of that
person, I do understand that forme, yes, there are things that
(06:05):
could happen that definitelycould make my life more
difficult, but it's still, stilla struggle for me as well. And
everybody has things that theystruggle with and everyone has
things that they're good at aswell.
And I think that comparisonsometimes can do a lot more harm
than good.
Paul Cruz (06:25):
That's such an important reminder. Not all
challenges are visible. What ledyou to study community
programming at Slippery RockUniversity?
Michelle Steiner (06:35):
Well, one of the things when I was going back
to school, I knew that I wantedto get my bachelor's degree, but
I knew that if I was going to gointo a program, I needed to find
something that I was passionateabout, but had the least amount
of math and science possible,but it was still helping other
people. And that is what Ifound. What I found in that
(06:56):
program in that department wasit was a lot of compassionate,
caring people that hadexperience working with people
as educators in the classroomwith students that have
disabilities. So they understooda lot of me and really were able
to communicate that they lovedhaving me there. That was a
really powerful thing too.
(07:19):
And I wanted to just get into afield where I could still help
somebody with doing that.There's a lot of different ways
to people with my degree canhelp others. Sometimes people
find work in a group home asmaybe a house parent. Other
people find it as I did. I was atherapeutic support staff worker
for a while.
That's where I did my internshipwith working with people with
(07:40):
autism. But I ended up backworking with students with
having disabilities in theclassroom as a paraeducator. But
the beauty in all of that is Iknew no matter what I got into,
that I could make a differenceand I could use that information
to carry that out and to helpother individuals that have
(08:01):
disabilities.
Gino Akbari (08:05):
Seems like college became more than just education.
It was a way of shaping yourpath forward. How did your
college experience influence theway you approach disability
advocacy today?
Michelle Steiner (08:17):
When I first started out at community
college, that was really a hardtime for me. I didn't have a lot
of those supports. I mean, hadaccommodations, but there was
just that stigma that surroundedthem. And I think that that
really shaped me to moveforward, but I also it was
really difficult. I always Ididn't want to.
(08:39):
And when I went to going touniversity, I understood that
what I needed to do and therewas always going to be that
stigma. But I also realized thatlistening to that wasn't going
to help me. So I became more ofan advocate for myself. I looked
and I used the programs oncampus. I had a note taker.
(08:59):
I had extended test time. I hadtutoring when I needed it. And
most importantly, I really gotthat chance to advocate for
myself with professors. I wasn'thiding with having a disability
with shame anymore. I was goingup to new professors and saying,
my name is Michelle.
I have a learning disability.These are the services that I'm
going to be needing for thesemester. And what I found was
(09:19):
most people got it. Mostprofessors wanted to help and
did everything that they couldand others they didn't quite get
the memo, but that was okay. Iknew how to handle that and I
just started to understand howimportant it was because people
can't see my disability that Ispeak up for myself because
sometimes people look at me andthey just presume that I should
(09:42):
be able to do it or I shouldknow that.
And I have to just be somebodythat is very clear on what I can
and also what I can't do.
Paul Cruz (09:53):
That's a great connection between personal
experience and professionalimpact. In your role as a
paraeducator, what do you findmost rewarding about working
with students with disabilities?
Michelle Steiner (10:06):
Rewarding is that ability to be able to go in
and give back and to come fullcircle. For a lot of my students
that I work with, I work withseventh graders and it's like
hearing a recording of myself atthat age. I hate my disability.
I wish I didn't have anindividualized education plan
and I get to be that voice thattells them it's okay to have a
(10:27):
disability. It's not a bad thingto have that plan in place and
here's why.
And I also get to show them howto advocate for themselves.
Cause for so many of mystudents, they're going to end
up leaving me someday, but theirdisabilities are going to stay.
So I think it's really importantthat we show them how to
advocate and speak up forthemselves. But I honestly think
that having a disability isn't abad thing with that. I think it
(10:51):
actually turns into a string.
I can help them with anything aslong as it does not involve
math. And I'm pretty open aboutthat, but I think it's helped me
to become more empatheticbecause a lot of my coworkers,
they have that love and theyhave that compassion, but they
don't, a lot of them don'tunderstand what it's like to be
(11:11):
that person with a disabilitysitting there at that class and
how hard that is. And I thinkthat that makes me a better
paraeducator for me because Ihave that. I not only do I have
the compassion, but I have theempathy. And I don't think if I
didn't experience this withhaving a disability, that I
would have that understanding.
Gino Akbari (11:34):
And it must be incredibly meaningful to see
moments in your students ofprogress and connection and that
brings it all back to what youdo. You've also been publishing
outlets like the Mighty,DeScalculia blog and the Word
Gathering. What inspires yourwriting?
Michelle Steiner (11:53):
A lot of what inspires my writing is two
things, nature is a big part.I'm not able to drive because of
my disability. So I get thatchance when I don't have a ride
that I can stop literally stopand smell the roses. And there's
so many details that I get topick out that if I was driving,
I would miss. People often say,bring out the details in a
(12:14):
flower that other people miss.
I did today when I was on a walkwith my husband, I got to see a
butterfly on a flower. And if Iwas in the car, I would miss so
many of those things. So I thinka lot of that comes about with
my blog and I can compare a lotof my experiences with nature. I
can talk about the process of aflower that's blooming with how
(12:36):
I learned to accept mydisability. And I just, I get
that opportunity to do that.
I also talk a lot about just myexperiences with having a
disability and I was oncesomebody that was really ashamed
of having one. Reading andwriting were all were always a
big part. My dad saw a storythat I wrote about a dinosaur in
(12:57):
second or third grade andthought, oh, this is really
good. And that gave me all thatencouragement to write,
especially when I was beingbullied. And I can remember as
an adult joining or as ateenager joining an adult
writing group and having some ofthe members tell me you should
really write about having alearning disability.
And I thought, oh no, that's toopersonal. I wrote some really
(13:19):
bad poetry and some other thingsI would not want to share here
today. But I finally got thatcourage as an adult was I was
diagnosed with limited handdexterity in both of my hands
and I moved into our house and Iwas so frustrated because my
hands could not open up the doorwith that limited dexterity. And
(13:39):
there was a call on the mighty.What's a seemingly easy task for
other people, but it's reallyhard with your disability.
And I said, I'm going to writeabout this. And when I did that.
It got published and I had sucha good following and people were
telling me, well, that's mystory or I struggle with that
too. And I thought I was theonly one so that encouraged me
to write more articles. And Ialso was encouraged to start my
(14:03):
own blog as well to feature mywriting and my photography.
Paul Cruz (14:10):
It's amazing how storytelling open doors for
connection. Do you have a pieceof writing that you're
especially proud of or thatconnected deeply with readers?
Michelle Steiner (14:21):
I think one of the articles on The Mighty that
really connected with a lot ofpeople was, I'm not lucky that I
can't drive. Because I rememberhaving a conversation with
somebody that told me, well,you're lucky that you don't have
to drive. And as I explained tothat person, there is some
benefits to that, but there'salso a lot of frustration
sometimes with not always havinga ride. I'm very blessed that I
(14:44):
can have my husband take me anda nice coworker does at the end
of the day to work. It opened adoor up where more people
struggle with this than I everthought.
And that it's not just a problemnecessarily for people with
disabilities, but we have apublic transportation system in
our country that needs reformedand there's not a lot that's
(15:06):
invested with that. There's nota lot of places it goes to. It's
very limited if you would evenlook into other countries with
that. So this kind of brought upthe open the door up to people
who don't drive or people whoaren't in a situation where they
can or can afford that.
Gino Akbari (15:23):
That really shows the power of sharing lived
experiences because I thinkpeople can learn from it and
know that there's someone elseout there besides them, right?
Amongst many other things,you're also a photographer. Your
photography has been featured inWord Gathering and in The
Independent. How doesphotography help you express
(15:43):
your perspective?
Michelle Steiner (15:44):
I think photography helps me to be able
to see the beauty and so manythings that maybe people
wouldn't even think. Maybe we'reall other people who drive or
other people that are just in ahurry. They don't get to notice
a lot of details. They don't getto see the butterflies. They
don't get to see a lot of theflowers because they're just so
focused in and everybody is notthat connected towards what
(16:06):
really is going on or that theydon't have that chance to just
like stop and smell the rosesand to be present.
So sometimes I love to bringthat joy into somebody's life
and I like to bring that.Perspective in there and maybe
it's some happy, something happythat people can look at when
they see my website or I'm oronline on social media rather
(16:27):
than putting up stuff that'sreally going to divide people or
make people upset. This issomething that can really put a
smile on somebody's face andmaybe just show that there
really is good out there.
Paul Cruz (16:41):
I love how creativity gives you another lens literally
to tell stories. Do you see aconnection between your
photography and writing in howyou tell stories?
Michelle Steiner (16:52):
I think I do. A lot of times photography might
just be another way of talkingabout my day. I can show people,
Oh, this is what I took when Iwas on my walk. And this kind of
shows that experience. Or if myhusband and I are traveling, I
get to maybe show some of thereally pretty things that we got
to see on that tree orinteresting things.
And that kind of is a way oftalking about that. And then I
(17:15):
can also show with the writingtoo. They give that expression.
They both are forms ofexpression, but it's been said
that a picture says a thousandwords and sometimes with
writing, I might say that, or Imight just be able, I might go
under that as well, but I thinksometimes a picture can really
speak deeply into maybesomebody's heart or emotions.
Gino Akbari (17:40):
So your creativity really flows across different
mediums. That's amazing. Whatare some of common
misconceptions about people withinvisible disabilities that you
like to challenge? I mean, itseems like you've broken most of
them by spanning across so manymediums, right?
Michelle Steiner (17:59):
Right. One of the things I know in particular
with learning disabilities isthat a person with a learning
disability, one of the bestcommon misconceptions is a
person with one cannot learn.And that is not true. I am able
to learn. I just need adifferent way to do it.
Sometimes maybe some repetitionor just sometimes just a
(18:19):
different way. Just looking atit from a different angle.
Sometimes there's also peoplethat might think with learning
disabilities that I must be ableto do anything and everything.
And that's not always trueeither. I do have limitations
with having one.
Some people will say, you musthave superpowers or they don't
(18:39):
even like the term disability.And I'm like, well, there are
things that I am exceptionallygood at, but I don't have
superpowers. I am the same asanother person. I just have
some, maybe more difficultieswith certain tasks as well. I
think sometimes maybemisconceptions about this hasn't
been something I've experienced,but like with chronic pain or
(19:00):
chronic fatigue that people havegood days and then they have bad
days.
So somebody might say, well,what do you mean you can't do
this today? You were able to dothis yesterday or last week and
that person might have been ableto do it then, but today is the
day where they're not able toand people just have those days
and we may not be able to see alot of that pain or that
(19:20):
struggle, but it's there andtoday is not that day that
somebody can. Maybe it will betomorrow.
Paul Cruz (19:29):
That's such a vital point. Challenging those
assumptions really matters. Howcan schools and communities
better support students withdisabilities?
Michelle Steiner (19:40):
I guess ways that they can do that is to
definitely focus on strengths.What does that person, what is
that person good at? What dothey like to do? And then really
bring that into the focus ofthat. I think it is important
though, that we do look at thoseareas that maybe a student is
struggling with, but maybe tryto look at some strengths and
things that they like to bringthat into that as well.
(20:03):
I also think it's a customizedapproach really does need to
happen in schools and also incommunities. We offer this
cookie cutter approach for everystudent that comes in and that,
that just simply doesn't workfor everything. Doesn't just
work for that student. We haveto make sure that it, we're
really trying to work with eachstudent as an individual rather
(20:26):
than a whole and to look forjust ways that we were able to
do that. And I also think it'seducating families as well.
A lot of times maybe familiesdon't know a lot about maybe
their child's disability or evenas an adult, maybe what their
child, what their disability is.And I think sometimes it's
(20:48):
educating the family. I know theschool worked with my mom and
dad on me educating them what alearning disability was and
making sure that I was trying mybest. And my parents also worked
together with the school too. SoI think it's that connection
that you have to have withcommunities and schools.
Everybody needs to work togetherto benefit that person that has
(21:09):
a disability.
Gino Akbari (21:12):
That is such practical advice, things people
can actually put into practice,bringing community together and
using their strengths, whatthey're good at, rather than
focusing on what they'restruggling with. What advice
would you give to someone whofeels underestimated because of
their disability?
Michelle Steiner (21:31):
One of the first things I would tell that
person is to know what you wantto do and to be able to find a
way to do it. I know I had a lotof people telling me there was
things I couldn't do and some ofthose things they were correct
on. I mean, other than, youknow, I'm not great with math
and I'm certainly not able todrive a vehicle safely, but
there were certain things theyweren't right on. I was told
(21:53):
that I would not be able towrite news articles or I
wouldn't be able to do a lotwith photography. Would be
beyond my capability and theyweren't correct on that.
So I think sometimes it'sknowing what you want and
finding a way to do that andreally taking into consideration
though the disability. Anotherexample is when I went to
(22:14):
college, I knew I wanted to workwith students in some capacity,
but being a teacher that wascertified was not an option for
me. I knew that I couldn't passthe certification tests. I knew
that sometimes getting thatmaterial would be beyond what I
could do, but I was able to finda way to make college work for
(22:35):
me and to be able to graduateand do well. And I think it's
going on with that, finding outwhat you want to do, finding a
way to do it.
And also focusing on yourstrengths. When I'm taking
pictures of flowers where I'mreading a book or writing about
something, I don't feel lessthan, I feel happy. I feel
empowered. And I love that, thatpart about myself. But whenever
(22:58):
I'm trying to do a math problemor tried to open up a door and
it's not working, that's when Ifeel a lot more frustrated and
that's when I have a lot morestruggle.
But when I, when I keep my eyestowards what I can do and what I
like to do, that's just ahappier experience for me.
Paul Cruz (23:18):
That's such an empowering message. What
projects are you currentlyworking on that excite you?
Michelle Steiner (23:25):
Right now I am going to be speaking at a
conference for the blind in thefall about resources for people
with disabilities. I also havesome blog posts that I'm working
on getting together, as well,which is one of the things I
love to do. I also have a coupleof places that I'm submitting
(23:47):
things out to, and I have athird anthology that I'll have a
story published in, in the fall.It should come out around
November.
Gino Akbari (23:58):
That sounds like something our listeners will
definitely want to check out.Where can listeners learn more
about your work and connect withyou if they wanted to?
Michelle Steiner (24:09):
Sure. I am at uw. Michellesmission dot com and
I'm also on Facebook andInstagram.
Gino Akbari (24:19):
Michelle, you've talked so much about what you've
accomplished and it's such aninspiring story to hear because
it gives people hope andmotivation and inspiration to go
do the same. What about yourhome life? You are married to
(24:40):
your husband, of course, and Iwanted to know, you know, for
people listening that are going,Oh, can I be in a relationship
too? What advice do you have togive and can you share a little
bit about that if you don'tmind?
Michelle Steiner (24:53):
Sure, I'd be happy to. I know that I always
wanted to be married. I alwayswanted to find somebody and fall
in love just like anybody else.I grew up in a family where
marriage was really consideredimportant. Swear that my mom and
my grandma had my weddingplanned out from the day I was
born.
I knew that was important, but Ihad people that said you may not
find somebody with having adisability and they were right.
(25:16):
I can remember I was breaking upwith my ex and he told me I
think you could drive if youwanted to and I'm tired of
taking you places and otherpeople have said that you know I
can't be with you because youhave a disability. And when I
found I was so tired of all thatthat I just prayed and I just
(25:36):
said God don't send me anybodyuntil it's the right person and
God was really faithful in doingthat. And I ended up meeting
somebody when I least expectedit. We met in an art center.
And it was funny. Somebodybefore that said, oh, are you
seeing somebody? I said no. Andthey said, oh, I bet you'll meet
him at a place like this. Andsure enough, that's where I met
(25:58):
him.
And I had another friend thattold me, you know, I had a dream
about you. You, you were gettingmarried, you had a vintage dress
on and you were standing infront
Gino Akbari (26:07):
of the
Michelle Steiner (26:07):
courthouse and I don't know who the guy is. So
of course I'm curious who theguy was and I could understand
the dress because that'sdefinitely my style. And I also,
but I wondered, you know, whywould I have the courthouse?
Well, we had our weddingreception. The photographer took
us on a little walk and rightoutside of that park was the
(26:29):
courthouse and everything cametogether.
But what advice I would give topeople though is number one. If
somebody does not want to bewith you because you have a
disability, that's not the rightperson for you and there's
nothing you can do to fix that.There's nothing you can do to
make that person change or foryou to change yourself. So I
(26:49):
would probably say that look forpeople in life that are
accepting of that and be upfrontand be honest with it because
that's something you're going towant to know how somebody is
going to react to that.
Gino Akbari (27:03):
Thank you for sharing that. That is inspiring.
With autism, they use somethingcalled masking in public for
ADHD. We do deep breathing tocalm the nerves down. What do
you do when you get in momentswhere you're at home where
things come barging in?
(27:24):
What is your method of coping?Is there something specific you
do?
Michelle Steiner (27:31):
One of the things that I find is really
important is exercise. Sometimesif I'm really upset about
something and I just need to beable to calm down, I might take
a walk and get out of thesituation. Sometimes that helps
me to be able to do that. Imight take a couple of deep
breaths or sometimes I mightpull my iPad out and I might
have a book on there that I'llread or, or a word puzzle that I
(27:54):
do. And writing is also a bigpart of that too.
A lot of times if I'm reallyupset about something and I just
have to get it out, I can writeabout that. And sometimes I can
do fiction, which is differentfrom what I, what I usually
write and put out there. Butsometimes I've had to put like
maybe characters that I had inmy life and I didn't want to put
(28:15):
down their names or thesituation. And I put them as
like, as a character of my storyand I said everything that I
wanted to say to them and thatwas just so healing and it just
released so many emotions that Icould forgive that person. So I
think that that helps as well.
Gino Akbari (28:32):
That's amazing. Support systems. What advice
would you give to people aroundpeople like yourself, starting
with parents? Sometimes parentslook at their kids and they want
the best for them, and there's abit of denial. I have cousins
(28:55):
who have autism, and it's like,Oh no, nothing's wrong.
Everything's okay. What advicewould you give them to catch
these things early and find waysto enhance your kid's life or
siblings or family members? Whatwould you say to people around?
Michelle Steiner (29:15):
First things I would say is be when the
children are very young is to bein contact with your child's
pediatrician. And also they havebirth to three services where
you can go and get your childevaluated. You have any concerns
or if you're just wondering, iseverything going the way it's
supposed to be? And taking thatadvice and doing those
(29:37):
recommendations. There's alsoearly intervention services,
preschools now that can helpstudents that have disabilities.
There's a lot more than when Iwas in school. I was really
fortunate to that I wasdiagnosed early, but I, there's
so many things for young parentsto do and working with them too,
working with the resources thatare available when they are
(29:59):
young. And if you do find outthat a child has a disability,
explain it to them at a youngage in simple age appropriate
terms. I know my mom and dadexplained to me that I had a
learning disability from thevery beginning and that my brain
works differently and that Ilearned in a different way. And
hearing that advice, it was somuch more powerful than what I
(30:21):
was getting from my peers.
My peers were telling me that Iwasn't very smart. So I know a
lot of parents might behesitant. They might think, Oh,
I know I don't want to diagnose.I don't want to have them
labeled, but sometimes thatlabeling at a young age and
explaining that really does helpthe person and not giving up on
them. I think that's the bigthing too.
(30:42):
You don't want to give up onthat person. My mom and dad
never gave up on me, but theywere supportive. I had to try my
best, but I didn't have to beperfect and they also pushed me.
They helped me develop someresilience. They made me go to
school even when I was having adifficulty with my peers or when
we had a lot of long, cheerfulhomework sessions and we studied
(31:03):
for a test and I knew I wasn'tgoing to do well on it.
They still made me go to schooland have those experiences as
well, but they were also therefor me when I needed them as
too. So I think it's not givingup on your kids. And it's also
just really pushing them to bethe best that they can be. Maybe
not the best that somebodyelse's or maybe even a sibling,
(31:25):
but pushing them to be theirpersonal best. And I also think
it's focusing on things they aregood at.
My dad found a story that Iwrote about whenever I was
young. He knew I was a goodreader. He would read me stories
every night and that's what wegravitated toward spending time
with. And I think that'simportant too, because kids need
(31:45):
to have that. Ability to havethat connection and to think I
am good at something there are.
I do have talent. I have valueas well.
Gino Akbari (31:57):
My last question in an ideal world, how would you
like the world to see you as aperson with disability?
Michelle Steiner (32:04):
I think in an ideal world I would love to see
a person that for how they seeme is a person that is capable,
a person that is but also has myneeds as well and they're okay
with that. They can see me asthat person that maybe isn't
perfect, maybe has those thingsthat they can do and things that
(32:27):
I can't do. And we just worktogether to try to create this
world that's not only adaptableto me, but it's adaptable for
everybody. And it supports alldifferent kinds of minds,
thinking, and ideas.
Paul Cruz (32:44):
Michelle, thank you so much for joining us today and
for sharing your powerful storyof resilience, creativity, and
activism. Your journey is aninspiration for anyone who has
been told what they can do. Forour listeners, again, you can
learn more about Michelle's workat Michelle's Mission with an s,
(33:05):
michelle's.com, and we'llinclude her links in the show
notes.
Gino Akbari (33:16):
If you enjoyed this conversation, please rate,
share, follow, subscribe andleave a review on your favorite
podcast app and social mediaplatforms.
Paul Cruz (33:25):
If you have any questions, ideas or stories
you'd like to share, please feelfree to contact us. Our website
is www.neurodiversityvoices.com.Please fill out our listener
survey form. We'd love to hearfrom you.
Gino Akbari (33:42):
Until next time. Take care, stay curious and keep
celebrating the beauty ofdiverse minds.
Paul Cruz (33:48):
Thanks for listening to the Neurodiversity Voices
podcast.
Hello and welcome to the Neurodiversity Voices
podcast. I'm your host, PaulCruz, and I'm thrilled to have
you join us on this journey ofexploration, advocacy and
celebration of neurodiversity.
Gino Akbari (00:17):
And I'm Gino Akbari, your co host. Together,
we'll have meaningfulconversations, share inspiring
stories and challengemisconceptions about
neurodiversity.
Paul Cruz (00:27):
This podcast is for everyone. Whether you're
neurodivergent yourself, aneducator, a parent, or just
someone curious to learn more,our goal is to amplify voices,
foster understanding, and sparkchange in the way we view and
support neurodiversity.
Gino Akbari (00:44):
I'm so excited to have you with us as we celebrate
the beauty of diverse minds andwork toward a more inclusive
future.
Paul Cruz (00:51):
So sit back, relax, and let's get started. Welcome
to the Neurodiversity VoicesPodcast.
Gino Akbari (01:01):
Welcome to the Neurodiversity Voices Podcast,
where we amplify stories andinsights from across the
neurodiverse and disabilitycommunity. Today, we are joined
by Michelle Steiner, a writer,photographer, and disability
advocate living with aninvisible disability. Despite
being told she couldn't go tocollege, publish her work, or
(01:23):
pursue a career she wanted,Michelle has done all of that
and more. She earned her degreein community programming from
Slippery Rock University, worksas a paraeducator supporting
students with disabilities, andhas been widely published in
outlets such as The Mighty andWard Gathering. We're excited to
learn more about her journey andthe lessons she has to share.
(01:47):
Welcome, Michelle.
Michelle Steiner (01:47):
Hey, thank you so much for having me. I'm
looking forward to havingthis conversation.
Gino Akbari: We are excited to have you. So let's get right into it. Now you've described living with an invisible disability. Can (02:04):
undefined
you share what that has meantfor you in your everyday life
and what is it?
Michelle Steiner (02:09):
Right. An invisible disability is one that
a disability that people cannotsee. I think a lot of times when
I tell people that I have alearning disability, they'll
often say to me, You don't looklike you're disabled. And we're
so used to as a society, yetseeing the wheelchair or maybe a
(02:31):
visible mark that might indicatesomething such as Down syndrome.
We're so used to the canes thatwe sometimes think that if
somebody is saying that theyhave a disability they can't
see, it's just it isn't true.
Just because people can't see mydisability does not mean that
it's not there and it does notmean that it doesn't impact my
(02:51):
life.
Gino Akbari (02:52):
That is a powerful way of describing it. It really
helps set the stage forunderstanding your journey.
Paul Cruz (03:03):
Growing up, people often told you what you couldn't
do. How did you find thedetermination to prove them
wrong?
Michelle Steiner (03:10):
I can remember that was really frustrating for
me because I knew what I wantedand people were telling me that
I couldn't, but some of theadvice that I was getting wasn't
necessarily the best. And I canjust remember I followed what I
did it afraid. I went to collegewhen people were telling me you
can't go to college because ofyour math difficulties. Why
(03:32):
don't you go to trade school?And nothing there interested me.
So I didn't think that that wasthe best journey. So I went
ahead and I did that afraid. Ialso had a psychiatrist who told
me I want to go past communitycollege. And in all those
struggles, I was a very negativeperson at that time. I really
focused on more of what Icouldn't do.
And I focused more about thesituation, the things that were
(03:55):
really giving me difficultieswhere I didn't focus a lot on
the things that I could do. AndI think one of the things that
definitely helped was havingsupport from family and friends.
My parents never gave up on me.I had friends that could not fix
my disability, but could be myfriend. And sometimes that was
really important.
And when I started to have thatshift, was finding things that
(04:16):
worked for me and finding thingsthat I was good at and that I
really enjoyed doing and findinga way to do that. And that's
when I started to have thatconfidence and I realized I
could have that success. A longtime ago, I felt, well, the only
way I can have success is if Ihave my disability and it goes
away. And I've been able toachieve a lot of things, but I
(04:40):
still have a disability. So Ithink it's just that finding a
way to do things and engaging inthe things that I love to do.
Gino Akbari (04:49):
It sounds like resilience has been a huge theme
for you. What do you wish morepeople understood about
invisible disabilities?
Michelle Steiner (04:58):
Understood about invisible disabilities is
that they are real because somany times people want to
dismiss that, that it must notbe a real thing. I get this a
lot of times with people whoknow me and they'll tell me, you
can't be disabled. You must'vebeen able to overcome it because
you have a bachelor's degree oryou've had an article published.
(05:21):
I have to say, yes, I've had alot of that success, but I still
have a disability and oftentimesyou know just people on the
street. They'll think well whatis wrong with you?
I know somebody that has thiskind of disability and they're
either able to do what I can'tdo or they might say, well, you
really don't have it that hard.I remember there was somebody
(05:42):
that was I was venting that itwas really difficult because in
a class that I was strugglingwith and a woman said, well, you
should really consider yourselflucky. I saw at the store
someone with no arms or no legsand you could have life a lot
worse. And while I don't knowthe circumstances of that
person, I do understand that forme, yes, there are things that
(06:05):
could happen that definitelycould make my life more
difficult, but it's still, stilla struggle for me as well. And
everybody has things that theystruggle with and everyone has
things that they're good at aswell.
And I think that comparisonsometimes can do a lot more harm
than good.
Paul Cruz (06:25):
That's such an important reminder. Not all
challenges are visible. What ledyou to study community
programming at Slippery RockUniversity?
Michelle Steiner (06:35):
Well, one of the things when I was going back
to school, I knew that I wantedto get my bachelor's degree, but
I knew that if I was going to gointo a program, I needed to find
something that I was passionateabout, but had the least amount
of math and science possible,but it was still helping other
people. And that is what Ifound. What I found in that
(06:56):
program in that department wasit was a lot of compassionate,
caring people that hadexperience working with people
as educators in the classroomwith students that have
disabilities. So they understooda lot of me and really were able
to communicate that they lovedhaving me there. That was a
really powerful thing too.
(07:19):
And I wanted to just get into afield where I could still help
somebody with doing that.There's a lot of different ways
to people with my degree canhelp others. Sometimes people
find work in a group home asmaybe a house parent. Other
people find it as I did. I was atherapeutic support staff worker
for a while.
That's where I did my internshipwith working with people with
(07:40):
autism. But I ended up backworking with students with
having disabilities in theclassroom as a paraeducator. But
the beauty in all of that is Iknew no matter what I got into,
that I could make a differenceand I could use that information
to carry that out and to helpother individuals that have
(08:01):
disabilities.
Gino Akbari (08:05):
Seems like college became more than just education.
It was a way of shaping yourpath forward. How did your
college experience influence theway you approach disability
advocacy today?
Michelle Steiner (08:17):
When I first started out at community
college, that was really a hardtime for me. I didn't have a lot
of those supports. I mean, hadaccommodations, but there was
just that stigma that surroundedthem. And I think that that
really shaped me to moveforward, but I also it was
really difficult. I always Ididn't want to.
(08:39):
And when I went to going touniversity, I understood that
what I needed to do and therewas always going to be that
stigma. But I also realized thatlistening to that wasn't going
to help me. So I became more ofan advocate for myself. I looked
and I used the programs oncampus. I had a note taker.
(08:59):
I had extended test time. I hadtutoring when I needed it. And
most importantly, I really gotthat chance to advocate for
myself with professors. I wasn'thiding with having a disability
with shame anymore. I was goingup to new professors and saying,
my name is Michelle.
I have a learning disability.These are the services that I'm
going to be needing for thesemester. And what I found was
(09:19):
most people got it. Mostprofessors wanted to help and
did everything that they couldand others they didn't quite get
the memo, but that was okay. Iknew how to handle that and I
just started to understand howimportant it was because people
can't see my disability that Ispeak up for myself because
sometimes people look at me andthey just presume that I should
(09:42):
be able to do it or I shouldknow that.
And I have to just be somebodythat is very clear on what I can
and also what I can't do.
Paul Cruz (09:53):
That's a great connection between personal
experience and professionalimpact. In your role as a
paraeducator, what do you findmost rewarding about working
with students with disabilities?
Michelle Steiner (10:06):
Rewarding is that ability to be able to go in
and give back and to come fullcircle. For a lot of my students
that I work with, I work withseventh graders and it's like
hearing a recording of myself atthat age. I hate my disability.
I wish I didn't have anindividualized education plan
and I get to be that voice thattells them it's okay to have a
(10:27):
disability. It's not a bad thingto have that plan in place and
here's why.
And I also get to show them howto advocate for themselves.
Cause for so many of mystudents, they're going to end
up leaving me someday, but theirdisabilities are going to stay.
So I think it's really importantthat we show them how to
advocate and speak up forthemselves. But I honestly think
that having a disability isn't abad thing with that. I think it
(10:51):
actually turns into a string.
I can help them with anything aslong as it does not involve
math. And I'm pretty open aboutthat, but I think it's helped me
to become more empatheticbecause a lot of my coworkers,
they have that love and theyhave that compassion, but they
don't, a lot of them don'tunderstand what it's like to be
(11:11):
that person with a disabilitysitting there at that class and
how hard that is. And I thinkthat that makes me a better
paraeducator for me because Ihave that. I not only do I have
the compassion, but I have theempathy. And I don't think if I
didn't experience this withhaving a disability, that I
would have that understanding.
Gino Akbari (11:34):
And it must be incredibly meaningful to see
moments in your students ofprogress and connection and that
brings it all back to what youdo. You've also been publishing
outlets like the Mighty,DeScalculia blog and the Word
Gathering. What inspires yourwriting?
Michelle Steiner (11:53):
A lot of what inspires my writing is two
things, nature is a big part.I'm not able to drive because of
my disability. So I get thatchance when I don't have a ride
that I can stop literally stopand smell the roses. And there's
so many details that I get topick out that if I was driving,
I would miss. People often say,bring out the details in a
(12:14):
flower that other people miss.
I did today when I was on a walkwith my husband, I got to see a
butterfly on a flower. And if Iwas in the car, I would miss so
many of those things. So I thinka lot of that comes about with
my blog and I can compare a lotof my experiences with nature. I
can talk about the process of aflower that's blooming with how
(12:36):
I learned to accept mydisability. And I just, I get
that opportunity to do that.
I also talk a lot about just myexperiences with having a
disability and I was oncesomebody that was really ashamed
of having one. Reading andwriting were all were always a
big part. My dad saw a storythat I wrote about a dinosaur in
(12:57):
second or third grade andthought, oh, this is really
good. And that gave me all thatencouragement to write,
especially when I was beingbullied. And I can remember as
an adult joining or as ateenager joining an adult
writing group and having some ofthe members tell me you should
really write about having alearning disability.
And I thought, oh no, that's toopersonal. I wrote some really
(13:19):
bad poetry and some other thingsI would not want to share here
today. But I finally got thatcourage as an adult was I was
diagnosed with limited handdexterity in both of my hands
and I moved into our house and Iwas so frustrated because my
hands could not open up the doorwith that limited dexterity. And
(13:39):
there was a call on the mighty.What's a seemingly easy task for
other people, but it's reallyhard with your disability.
And I said, I'm going to writeabout this. And when I did that.
It got published and I had sucha good following and people were
telling me, well, that's mystory or I struggle with that
too. And I thought I was theonly one so that encouraged me
to write more articles. And Ialso was encouraged to start my
(14:03):
own blog as well to feature mywriting and my photography.
Paul Cruz (14:10):
It's amazing how storytelling open doors for
connection. Do you have a pieceof writing that you're
especially proud of or thatconnected deeply with readers?
Michelle Steiner (14:21):
I think one of the articles on The Mighty that
really connected with a lot ofpeople was, I'm not lucky that I
can't drive. Because I rememberhaving a conversation with
somebody that told me, well,you're lucky that you don't have
to drive. And as I explained tothat person, there is some
benefits to that, but there'salso a lot of frustration
sometimes with not always havinga ride. I'm very blessed that I
(14:44):
can have my husband take me anda nice coworker does at the end
of the day to work. It opened adoor up where more people
struggle with this than I everthought.
And that it's not just a problemnecessarily for people with
disabilities, but we have apublic transportation system in
our country that needs reformedand there's not a lot that's
(15:06):
invested with that. There's nota lot of places it goes to. It's
very limited if you would evenlook into other countries with
that. So this kind of brought upthe open the door up to people
who don't drive or people whoaren't in a situation where they
can or can afford that.
Gino Akbari (15:23):
That really shows the power of sharing lived
experiences because I thinkpeople can learn from it and
know that there's someone elseout there besides them, right?
Amongst many other things,you're also a photographer. Your
photography has been featured inWord Gathering and in The
Independent. How doesphotography help you express
(15:43):
your perspective?
Michelle Steiner (15:44):
I think photography helps me to be able
to see the beauty and so manythings that maybe people
wouldn't even think. Maybe we'reall other people who drive or
other people that are just in ahurry. They don't get to notice
a lot of details. They don't getto see the butterflies. They
don't get to see a lot of theflowers because they're just so
focused in and everybody is notthat connected towards what
(16:06):
really is going on or that theydon't have that chance to just
like stop and smell the rosesand to be present.
So sometimes I love to bringthat joy into somebody's life
and I like to bring that.Perspective in there and maybe
it's some happy, something happythat people can look at when
they see my website or I'm oronline on social media rather
(16:27):
than putting up stuff that'sreally going to divide people or
make people upset. This issomething that can really put a
smile on somebody's face andmaybe just show that there
really is good out there.
Paul Cruz (16:41):
I love how creativity gives you another lens literally
to tell stories. Do you see aconnection between your
photography and writing in howyou tell stories?
Michelle Steiner (16:52):
I think I do. A lot of times photography might
just be another way of talkingabout my day. I can show people,
Oh, this is what I took when Iwas on my walk. And this kind of
shows that experience. Or if myhusband and I are traveling, I
get to maybe show some of thereally pretty things that we got
to see on that tree orinteresting things.
And that kind of is a way oftalking about that. And then I
(17:15):
can also show with the writingtoo. They give that expression.
They both are forms ofexpression, but it's been said
that a picture says a thousandwords and sometimes with
writing, I might say that, or Imight just be able, I might go
under that as well, but I thinksometimes a picture can really
speak deeply into maybesomebody's heart or emotions.
Gino Akbari (17:40):
So your creativity really flows across different
mediums. That's amazing. Whatare some of common
misconceptions about people withinvisible disabilities that you
like to challenge? I mean, itseems like you've broken most of
them by spanning across so manymediums, right?
Michelle Steiner (17:59):
Right. One of the things I know in particular
with learning disabilities isthat a person with a learning
disability, one of the bestcommon misconceptions is a
person with one cannot learn.And that is not true. I am able
to learn. I just need adifferent way to do it.
Sometimes maybe some repetitionor just sometimes just a
(18:19):
different way. Just looking atit from a different angle.
Sometimes there's also peoplethat might think with learning
disabilities that I must be ableto do anything and everything.
And that's not always trueeither. I do have limitations
with having one.
Some people will say, you musthave superpowers or they don't
(18:39):
even like the term disability.And I'm like, well, there are
things that I am exceptionallygood at, but I don't have
superpowers. I am the same asanother person. I just have
some, maybe more difficultieswith certain tasks as well. I
think sometimes maybemisconceptions about this hasn't
been something I've experienced,but like with chronic pain or
(19:00):
chronic fatigue that people havegood days and then they have bad
days.
So somebody might say, well,what do you mean you can't do
this today? You were able to dothis yesterday or last week and
that person might have been ableto do it then, but today is the
day where they're not able toand people just have those days
and we may not be able to see alot of that pain or that
(19:20):
struggle, but it's there andtoday is not that day that
somebody can. Maybe it will betomorrow.
Paul Cruz (19:29):
That's such a vital point. Challenging those
assumptions really matters. Howcan schools and communities
better support students withdisabilities?
Michelle Steiner (19:40):
I guess ways that they can do that is to
definitely focus on strengths.What does that person, what is
that person good at? What dothey like to do? And then really
bring that into the focus ofthat. I think it is important
though, that we do look at thoseareas that maybe a student is
struggling with, but maybe tryto look at some strengths and
things that they like to bringthat into that as well.
(20:03):
I also think it's a customizedapproach really does need to
happen in schools and also incommunities. We offer this
cookie cutter approach for everystudent that comes in and that,
that just simply doesn't workfor everything. Doesn't just
work for that student. We haveto make sure that it, we're
really trying to work with eachstudent as an individual rather
(20:26):
than a whole and to look forjust ways that we were able to
do that. And I also think it'seducating families as well.
A lot of times maybe familiesdon't know a lot about maybe
their child's disability or evenas an adult, maybe what their
child, what their disability is.And I think sometimes it's
(20:48):
educating the family. I know theschool worked with my mom and
dad on me educating them what alearning disability was and
making sure that I was trying mybest. And my parents also worked
together with the school too. SoI think it's that connection
that you have to have withcommunities and schools.
Everybody needs to work togetherto benefit that person that has
(21:09):
a disability.
Gino Akbari (21:12):
That is such practical advice, things people
can actually put into practice,bringing community together and
using their strengths, whatthey're good at, rather than
focusing on what they'restruggling with. What advice
would you give to someone whofeels underestimated because of
their disability?
Michelle Steiner (21:31):
One of the first things I would tell that
person is to know what you wantto do and to be able to find a
way to do it. I know I had a lotof people telling me there was
things I couldn't do and some ofthose things they were correct
on. I mean, other than, youknow, I'm not great with math
and I'm certainly not able todrive a vehicle safely, but
there were certain things theyweren't right on. I was told
(21:53):
that I would not be able towrite news articles or I
wouldn't be able to do a lotwith photography. Would be
beyond my capability and theyweren't correct on that.
So I think sometimes it'sknowing what you want and
finding a way to do that andreally taking into consideration
though the disability. Anotherexample is when I went to
(22:14):
college, I knew I wanted to workwith students in some capacity,
but being a teacher that wascertified was not an option for
me. I knew that I couldn't passthe certification tests. I knew
that sometimes getting thatmaterial would be beyond what I
could do, but I was able to finda way to make college work for
(22:35):
me and to be able to graduateand do well. And I think it's
going on with that, finding outwhat you want to do, finding a
way to do it.
And also focusing on yourstrengths. When I'm taking
pictures of flowers where I'mreading a book or writing about
something, I don't feel lessthan, I feel happy. I feel
empowered. And I love that, thatpart about myself. But whenever
(22:58):
I'm trying to do a math problemor tried to open up a door and
it's not working, that's when Ifeel a lot more frustrated and
that's when I have a lot morestruggle.
But when I, when I keep my eyestowards what I can do and what I
like to do, that's just ahappier experience for me.
Paul Cruz (23:18):
That's such an empowering message. What
projects are you currentlyworking on that excite you?
Michelle Steiner (23:25):
Right now I am going to be speaking at a
conference for the blind in thefall about resources for people
with disabilities. I also havesome blog posts that I'm working
on getting together, as well,which is one of the things I
love to do. I also have a coupleof places that I'm submitting
(23:47):
things out to, and I have athird anthology that I'll have a
story published in, in the fall.It should come out around
November.
Gino Akbari (23:58):
That sounds like something our listeners will
definitely want to check out.Where can listeners learn more
about your work and connect withyou if they wanted to?
Michelle Steiner (24:09):
Sure. I am at uw. Michellesmission dot com and
I'm also on Facebook andInstagram.
Gino Akbari (24:19):
Michelle, you've talked so much about what you've
accomplished and it's such aninspiring story to hear because
it gives people hope andmotivation and inspiration to go
do the same. What about yourhome life? You are married to
(24:40):
your husband, of course, and Iwanted to know, you know, for
people listening that are going,Oh, can I be in a relationship
too? What advice do you have togive and can you share a little
bit about that if you don'tmind?
Michelle Steiner (24:53):
Sure, I'd be happy to. I know that I always
wanted to be married. I alwayswanted to find somebody and fall
in love just like anybody else.I grew up in a family where
marriage was really consideredimportant. Swear that my mom and
my grandma had my weddingplanned out from the day I was
born.
I knew that was important, but Ihad people that said you may not
find somebody with having adisability and they were right.
(25:16):
I can remember I was breaking upwith my ex and he told me I
think you could drive if youwanted to and I'm tired of
taking you places and otherpeople have said that you know I
can't be with you because youhave a disability. And when I
found I was so tired of all thatthat I just prayed and I just
(25:36):
said God don't send me anybodyuntil it's the right person and
God was really faithful in doingthat. And I ended up meeting
somebody when I least expectedit. We met in an art center.
And it was funny. Somebodybefore that said, oh, are you
seeing somebody? I said no. Andthey said, oh, I bet you'll meet
him at a place like this. Andsure enough, that's where I met
(25:58):
him.
And I had another friend thattold me, you know, I had a dream
about you. You, you were gettingmarried, you had a vintage dress
on and you were standing infront
Gino Akbari (26:07):
of the
Michelle Steiner (26:07):
courthouse and I don't know who the guy is. So
of course I'm curious who theguy was and I could understand
the dress because that'sdefinitely my style. And I also,
but I wondered, you know, whywould I have the courthouse?
Well, we had our weddingreception. The photographer took
us on a little walk and rightoutside of that park was the
(26:29):
courthouse and everything cametogether.
But what advice I would give topeople though is number one. If
somebody does not want to bewith you because you have a
disability, that's not the rightperson for you and there's
nothing you can do to fix that.There's nothing you can do to
make that person change or foryou to change yourself. So I
(26:49):
would probably say that look forpeople in life that are
accepting of that and be upfrontand be honest with it because
that's something you're going towant to know how somebody is
going to react to that.
Gino Akbari (27:03):
Thank you for sharing that. That is inspiring.
With autism, they use somethingcalled masking in public for
ADHD. We do deep breathing tocalm the nerves down. What do
you do when you get in momentswhere you're at home where
things come barging in?
(27:24):
What is your method of coping?Is there something specific you
do?
Michelle Steiner (27:31):
One of the things that I find is really
important is exercise. Sometimesif I'm really upset about
something and I just need to beable to calm down, I might take
a walk and get out of thesituation. Sometimes that helps
me to be able to do that. Imight take a couple of deep
breaths or sometimes I mightpull my iPad out and I might
have a book on there that I'llread or, or a word puzzle that I
(27:54):
do. And writing is also a bigpart of that too.
A lot of times if I'm reallyupset about something and I just
have to get it out, I can writeabout that. And sometimes I can
do fiction, which is differentfrom what I, what I usually
write and put out there. Butsometimes I've had to put like
maybe characters that I had inmy life and I didn't want to put
(28:15):
down their names or thesituation. And I put them as
like, as a character of my storyand I said everything that I
wanted to say to them and thatwas just so healing and it just
released so many emotions that Icould forgive that person. So I
think that that helps as well.
Gino Akbari (28:32):
That's amazing. Support systems. What advice
would you give to people aroundpeople like yourself, starting
with parents? Sometimes parentslook at their kids and they want
the best for them, and there's abit of denial. I have cousins
(28:55):
who have autism, and it's like,Oh no, nothing's wrong.
Everything's okay. What advicewould you give them to catch
these things early and find waysto enhance your kid's life or
siblings or family members? Whatwould you say to people around?
Michelle Steiner (29:15):
First things I would say is be when the
children are very young is to bein contact with your child's
pediatrician. And also they havebirth to three services where
you can go and get your childevaluated. You have any concerns
or if you're just wondering, iseverything going the way it's
supposed to be? And taking thatadvice and doing those
(29:37):
recommendations. There's alsoearly intervention services,
preschools now that can helpstudents that have disabilities.
There's a lot more than when Iwas in school. I was really
fortunate to that I wasdiagnosed early, but I, there's
so many things for young parentsto do and working with them too,
working with the resources thatare available when they are
(29:59):
young. And if you do find outthat a child has a disability,
explain it to them at a youngage in simple age appropriate
terms. I know my mom and dadexplained to me that I had a
learning disability from thevery beginning and that my brain
works differently and that Ilearned in a different way. And
hearing that advice, it was somuch more powerful than what I
(30:21):
was getting from my peers.
My peers were telling me that Iwasn't very smart. So I know a
lot of parents might behesitant. They might think, Oh,
I know I don't want to diagnose.I don't want to have them
labeled, but sometimes thatlabeling at a young age and
explaining that really does helpthe person and not giving up on
them. I think that's the bigthing too.
(30:42):
You don't want to give up onthat person. My mom and dad
never gave up on me, but theywere supportive. I had to try my
best, but I didn't have to beperfect and they also pushed me.
They helped me develop someresilience. They made me go to
school even when I was having adifficulty with my peers or when
we had a lot of long, cheerfulhomework sessions and we studied
(31:03):
for a test and I knew I wasn'tgoing to do well on it.
They still made me go to schooland have those experiences as
well, but they were also therefor me when I needed them as
too. So I think it's not givingup on your kids. And it's also
just really pushing them to bethe best that they can be. Maybe
not the best that somebodyelse's or maybe even a sibling,
(31:25):
but pushing them to be theirpersonal best. And I also think
it's focusing on things they aregood at.
My dad found a story that Iwrote about whenever I was
young. He knew I was a goodreader. He would read me stories
every night and that's what wegravitated toward spending time
with. And I think that'simportant too, because kids need
(31:45):
to have that. Ability to havethat connection and to think I
am good at something there are.
I do have talent. I have valueas well.
Gino Akbari (31:57):
My last question in an ideal world, how would you
like the world to see you as aperson with disability?
Michelle Steiner (32:04):
I think in an ideal world I would love to see
a person that for how they seeme is a person that is capable,
a person that is but also has myneeds as well and they're okay
with that. They can see me asthat person that maybe isn't
perfect, maybe has those thingsthat they can do and things that
(32:27):
I can't do. And we just worktogether to try to create this
world that's not only adaptableto me, but it's adaptable for
everybody. And it supports alldifferent kinds of minds,
thinking, and ideas.
Paul Cruz (32:44):
Michelle, thank you so much for joining us today and
for sharing your powerful storyof resilience, creativity, and
activism. Your journey is aninspiration for anyone who has
been told what they can do. Forour listeners, again, you can
learn more about Michelle's workat Michelle's Mission with an s,
(33:05):
michelle's.com, and we'llinclude her links in the show
notes.
Gino Akbari (33:16):
If you enjoyed this conversation, please rate,
share, follow, subscribe andleave a review on your favorite
podcast app and social mediaplatforms.
Paul Cruz (33:25):
If you have any questions, ideas or stories
you'd like to share, please feelfree to contact us. Our website
is www.neurodiversityvoices.com.Please fill out our listener
survey form. We'd love to hearfrom you.
Gino Akbari (33:42):
Until next time. Take care, stay curious and keep
celebrating the beauty ofdiverse minds.
Paul Cruz (33:48):
Thanks for listening to the Neurodiversity Voices
podcast.
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