July 1, 2025 • 19 mins
Mindset isn’t about being strong all the time — it’s about staying present enough to choose your next step, even in the middle of the mess.
Back in March, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.
In May, I had a double mastectomy.
And as of today — I’m still healing. Still a patient. Still navigating all the physical, emotional, and mental layers of recovery.
In this episode of The Next ChaptHER, I’m not speaking from the “other side.”
I’m sharing the mindset tools I’m using right now — in real time — to stay grounded when my nervous system wants to spin out.
This is for any woman navigating her own version of the messy middle — whether it’s health, identity, burnout, loss, or transition.
You’ll hear:
- What it really looks like to regulate your mindset during uncertainty
- How I use music, breath, humor, and intentional rituals to stay grounded
- The difference between feeling your feelings vs. living in victim mode
- Why I start all my clients with the ELI Lifestyle & Mindset Assessment
- How mindset work doesn’t erase fear — it gives you tools to move through it
Plus, I share real moments from my journey as I actively work to stay grounded and in control.
If you’ve ever said, “This sucks… why me?” — and then wondered how to keep going anyway — this episode is for you.
🔗 Links & Resources:
🧠 Explore your own mindset lens:
Lifestyle & Mindset Assessment: Your Roadmap Back to J.O.Y.
📝 Follow my raw, behind-the-scenes healing journey on Substack:
🎧 Listen to the playlists that helped me regulate during this season:
📩 Let this episode be your reminder: you are not powerless. Even in the hardest chapters, you still get to choose your lens.
Thanks for being here — and walking this road with me.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to the next chapter podcast.
No shortcuts, no cheat sheets, no abridged versions, just the real deal, honest conversations, expert insights, and practical strategies to help you take the lead in your next chapter.
I'm Andrea Hecht, certified life coach, mom and midlife navigator.
(00:21):
Here to help you find your roadmap back to Joy, the journey of you so you can stop waiting for some day and start living now.
Because midlife isn't the end of your story.
It's your time to take center stage.
Let's go.
Your next chapter starts now.
Welcome back to another episode of the Next Chapter podcast.
(00:43):
If you had a chance to listen to my last episode, or you've been following me on Substack, I'm sure you know by now that I'm walking through something that I never planned for.
On March 28th, just a few days before my 48th birthday, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.
Words that I never thought I would hear.
(01:05):
And then on May 27th, I had double mastectomy surgery, and now I'm in the process of healing That goes way beyond physical healing.
Today I want to go deeper into something that I've always focused on in my coaching work, but now it's really become the foundation of how I'm getting through every single day.
(01:29):
And what I wanna talk about today is mindset.
I know we hear that phrase a lot.
That mindset is everything.
What does that mean when you're handed something so life changing, like a diagnosis of breast cancer? Your body's really trying to recover.
Your mind is completely spinning out of control.
(01:52):
And you're physically and emotionally stressed, and the plan you had for the summer basically disappears.
Because you know what, in those moments, mindset is everything.
It's not just a quote that we see on an Instagram meme.
It really becomes all about survival.
It becomes about finding It's really how we stay connected to yourself instead of completely spinning out of fear and going into total fight or flight mode.
(02:23):
This is what I want to say upfront, loud, and clear.
I'm not sharing this from the other side.
I am still an active breast cancer patient.
I am still healing both physically and mentally.
On July 1st, I'm gonna be taking Tamoxifen, a medication that I'll have to start taking daily for the next 10 years to reduce the risk of recurrence with this breast cancer.
(02:53):
When I talk about mindset.
I'm mean the one that I'm actually choosing right now in real time.
I thought that it was really important to share this conversation with you today to let you know how I'm actively choosing to stay away from the victim mindset, which we'll talk about in a little bit.
(03:13):
It's not just what I am coaching my clients right now.
It's the mindset that I'm actually living day to day.
This is one thing that I absolutely know that if you want to keep making decisions from a grounded place where you want to feel proactive rather than reactive, if you want to continue healing both emotionally and physically, it's so important to keep my brain online and to be.
(03:41):
Focusing from my logical part of the brain.
I really need to stay in a mindset that helps me move forward and doesn't keep me in that fight or flight.
Frozen state.
That's where this work really comes in.
In my coaching practice, I always start every single client that I start to work with.
(04:02):
We complete the lifestyle and mindset assessment because we all see the world through different lenses or filters.
I.
This assessment allows my clients and me to see on a piece of paper in front of us in black and white, the lenses that they have developed up to this point.
(04:24):
Those lenses, they really affect everything.
How we, you know, kind of react under stress, how we communicate, how we lead, how we move through life, how we view challenges.
The biggest challenge is when we're unaware of the lenses that we're moving through, we move through life on autopilot.
(04:46):
At that point we often get stuck in patterns that drain us or keep us small.
When we become aware, we get to shift.
And what's so important when you're in the middle of some kind of challenge, it doesn't have to be, illness or anything.
It's so important to understand the mindset that you're viewing life through.
(05:06):
For me, I had to work really hard to stay out of panic mode and to take my power back.
I default to a rose color glasses kind of, um.
Lens.
That's just my default.
But when you're faced with a potentially life-threatening disease like breast cancer, it's very easy to slip into that, victim mode.
(05:33):
But for me, I'm actively doing everything I can moment by moment to really regulate myself, because I definitely do not want to default into that victim energy.
Because that puts you into fight or flight mode, and then you're operating from a powerless state and one of fight or flight.
(05:55):
I really need to be clear right now that it doesn't mean that I don't feel things.
I absolutely feel sadness, overwhelm.
I've been scared at different moments.
That's not what this is all about because I really do, and everybody needs to experience those feelings.
It's just how long do you stay in those? So.
(06:17):
I feel it.
I feel it all, but I work every single day to stay grounded enough so that I can respond and not be from a reactive state.
I wanna share a little bit about what this practice has looked like for me over these past few months.
I created a playlist, a collective fight club playlist.
(06:42):
I asked my friends and family to give me their, fight songs and I put it on Spotify and on Apple Music, and I can link it in the show notes because I needed songs for when I wanted to feel strong.
When I was taking a shower, I blast the music.
Or just right before an appointment, right before my surgery, I actually had headphones and in the waiting room I was dancing around the waiting room, listening to my fight club playlist.
(07:14):
When they were injecting me for the radioactive lymph node biopsy, I asked if I could put my music on, and then I have my zen vibe.
Playlist also when I need to come back to calm and I played that, during one of my drain removals, I asked if I could play the music, so I'm constantly asking for what I need.
(07:40):
I also created Fight Club member bracelets, and I passed them out to friends and family.
I passed them all out to the doctors on my team.
I passed 'em out to the nurses because I wanted to know that I'm not in this fight alone and that it was something like a physical that we all had together.
I played music in the van on the way to surgery.
(08:04):
I had to be transported from one building to the next, and I was blasting Mr.
Brightside.
And it wasn't a matter of escaping, it was a matter of helping my body stay grounded and more in like this excitement mode rather than this panic mode.
And then when I had to do the MRI.
(08:27):
Biopsies needle biopsies.
I pretended that the MRI machine was a spot.
Let me be clear though.
I did take a Xanax and there is nothing wrong and no shame in, you know, using other forms of medication or something to help you stay grounded.
But I also pretended that all those booming noises that they were part of my fantasy sound bath.
(08:54):
So it's how we talk to our brain to keep our body feeling grounded.
And right before surgery, I do have a fear of anesthesia..
When I had a fibro adenoma removed, I had a trying experience and I whimpered through the whole procedure and felt things.
So I have a fear, and I mentioned that to the anesthesiologist and when they were about to do the nerve block, I.
(09:21):
Looked at the nurse and I said, okay, here we go.
We're going to the most beautiful spa in Greece.
And I closed my eyes and I tried to breathe deeply and pretend that we were in this beautiful spa in Greece.
And we all laughed.
But we also knew that that was my way of calming my body and.
(09:44):
Making sure that I took control of the power in a situation where I felt that I had, you know, limited control.
And again, all this is not because I'm in denial, but because I really needed to let my body know that I was safe, that this wasn't a time where I should be.
(10:06):
You know, I was scared, but I needed to allow my body to.
Relax, and I've used humor.
I've cracked plenty of terrible jokes or said silly things to the nurses, um, just to lighten the mood for myself.
I've used music, I've asked for what I needed.
(10:27):
That is where you really take back the power.
Of course I've had moments where I've cracked open.
I cried during my first drain removal appointment.
I had two drains and the first one I cried and I.
(10:47):
Not necessarily from the pain.
It definitely felt strange, but I just cried from being so overwhelmed and I asked the nurse for a moment because then I had to do the expansion, the, you know, the breast fill.
Um, and I couldn't do it right away, so I asked her for.
(11:08):
A moment we changed the subject.
I started asking questions.
I asked if I could put some music on just so my body could calm down, so I could regulate again.
I sat, I breathed, I had asked for, um, she gave me like a gauze, squeezy, just so I could take a moment.
(11:30):
I very well could have just said, okay, let's rush through it.
I wanna get outta here, but my body, it.
It was tense and I knew that I had more control in that situation to calm myself down.
So it's important to always ask for what you need and that particular moment that reminded me that mindset work.
(11:52):
Actually works.
And that's what it looks like in real time.
And it's not pretending that we're okay.
I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
And move through it.
It's asking for what you need.
It's knowing how to return to yourself when things feel hard and outta control.
(12:13):
And now it's really important.
I wanna talk about something that comes up.
When we're going through transitions, when there's a challenging time, especially ones we didn't choose, and that's the victim mindset.
And I wanna be honest, this one, it's kind of sneaky and it's not just the woe is me kind of situation.
(12:39):
Sometimes it sounds like, you know, we might say, why me? This sucks.
It's so unfair.
I don't ask for this.
Nothing ever works out for me or I can't do anything about it, but I want you to know that sometimes, of course, those thoughts do pop up, and they did pop up with me and they continue to pop up, but.
(13:01):
The key is if I stay there, I give all my power away.
I feel helpless, and that is not something that serves me, and I know I have so much more power, even in a situation that feels so out of control, I.
And there's a big difference between feeling your feelings and then living inside a victim lens.
(13:23):
And the victim mindset becomes your default lens.
When you feel completely outta control and disconnected from choice, you always have a choice.
And doing nothing is a choice too.
So.
When that victim lens takes over, everything really starts to feel and look heavier, feels completely overwhelming, and totally lack of control.
(13:52):
Something that's really interesting is that even the same exact message, let's say you received a text, an email, a conversation, a in my case.
A message in my portal, something, it gets read completely differently depending on your mindset.
So if I were to open up my portal and was in this constant fight or flight mode, any little message that a doctor wrote to me or.
(14:21):
Even in an appointment that popped up, something would put me into panic.
But if I stay grounded and I look at this through my rose colored glasses, not meaning that I am, you know, not scared, but that I look at something with control, then it completely changes the tone of the message that I hear in my mind as I read it.
(14:48):
So when we stay again in victim mentality, you start to assume the worst.
You read everything differently.
You see everything differently.
Your mind spirals.
You stop seeing those options, but even inside the most difficult moments, I want to make it clear that you.
(15:09):
Always have some choice.
And sometimes that choice is as simple as, you know, how am I talking to myself right now? Is the way that I'm thinking and breathing, is that serving me? What's playing? What are those thoughts that are playing in the background? And have you even taken just a deep breath? Have you asked for what you need? Have you turned on that music? And again, this isn't about bypassing all the hard stuff.
(15:37):
I'm not here to say, oh, just think positive and everything's going to be fine.
'cause that's not what I'm doing.
That absolutely is not the case.
I'm processing, I'm working through things, I'm writing, I'm listening to the hard stuff.
But what I'm really trying to say is that if you want to feel powerful again.
(15:59):
Even in those moments where you feel powerlessness, you have to get curious about the lens that you're looking through 100% and that it takes practice.
I am actively trying to do that every single day since, you know, I, I do that naturally before this, you know, challenging diagnosis, but even more so.
(16:26):
Now, but I promise you, the more you practice it, the more access you'll have to it for yourself, even in challenging times.
If you're in a chapter that feels completely out of your control, if you're facing something uncertain, painful, or unexpected, this is your reminder.
(16:46):
You are allowed to feel it all as we should.
I'm not saying numb yourself because that is not.
Is not healthy either.
You still get to choose how you move through it, and your choice does not have to be panic.
You do not have to live in victim mode.
(17:08):
You do not have to hand over your power.
You absolutely can choose a different lens.
Those other lenses are available if you want it.
You can shift your energy.
You can take a breath, you can anchor in music.
I will link my playlists.
You can use a little humor.
Movement is really important.
(17:28):
Like I said, when I was.
Right before surgery, I was pacing with my music, the.
Uh, waiting room and moving my body, trying to regulate my breath.
Lean in on your community.
I had some wonderful friends that started a walking challenge for me.
Knowing that you're not alone helps you immediately shift your mindset.
(17:54):
Whatever helps you regulate, and I'm telling you, one day it might be something completely different.
So knowing what you're doing and actively practicing that is really important and you don't have to do it perfectly.
Trust me, this is messy and what I'm doing is a complete and utter shit show sometimes, but I'm aware and I'm trying really hard to do what I can, so I don't.
(18:22):
Fall into that victim mindset and that I am able to act in a, in a, um, responsive way rather than feeling as though I'm just reacting to everything that's thrown at me.
The most important thing is just keep showing up and know that you've got this.
(18:43):
I want to truly thank you for being here, for continuing to listen.
I promise there will be more guest episodes and deeper conversations our coming soon.
If you want to explore your own lens, the one that you kind of default to under stress and transition, and you want to take the lifestyle and mindset assessment.
(19:07):
Reach out.
I will post it in the show notes.
I promise you it's a really powerful tool to understand how you're currently viewing the world, and it is one of the most powerful tools I use with my clients to help them really shift perspective and reclaim their choice.
As I said, I will drop that in the show notes and remember, you've got this, and if you forget, you can always hit play again. 190 00:19:37,463.333 --> 00:19:38,423.333 Love this episode. 191 00:19:38,573.333 --> 00:19:41,453.333 Make sure to subscribe so you never miss what's next. 192 00:19:41,963.333 --> 00:19:46,403.333 If today's conversation resonated, please leave a review@rapistpodcast.com 193 00:19:46,673.333 --> 00:19:47,753.333 slash the next chapter. 194 00:19:47,753.333 --> 00:19:50,603.333 Her It helps more women find their roadmap back to Joy. 195 00:19:50,963.333 --> 00:19:53,993.333 Ready for more support, visit fully informed life.com 196 00:19:53,993.333 --> 00:19:55,493.333 to learn how we can work together. 197 00:19:55,703.333 --> 00:19:58,13.333 Until next time, keep writing your next chapter.
Welcome to the next chapter podcast.
No shortcuts, no cheat sheets, no abridged versions, just the real deal, honest conversations, expert insights, and practical strategies to help you take the lead in your next chapter.
I'm Andrea Hecht, certified life coach, mom and midlife navigator.
(00:21):
Here to help you find your roadmap back to Joy, the journey of you so you can stop waiting for some day and start living now.
Because midlife isn't the end of your story.
It's your time to take center stage.
Let's go.
Your next chapter starts now.
Welcome back to another episode of the Next Chapter podcast.
(00:43):
If you had a chance to listen to my last episode, or you've been following me on Substack, I'm sure you know by now that I'm walking through something that I never planned for.
On March 28th, just a few days before my 48th birthday, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.
Words that I never thought I would hear.
(01:05):
And then on May 27th, I had double mastectomy surgery, and now I'm in the process of healing That goes way beyond physical healing.
Today I want to go deeper into something that I've always focused on in my coaching work, but now it's really become the foundation of how I'm getting through every single day.
(01:29):
And what I wanna talk about today is mindset.
I know we hear that phrase a lot.
That mindset is everything.
What does that mean when you're handed something so life changing, like a diagnosis of breast cancer? Your body's really trying to recover.
Your mind is completely spinning out of control.
(01:52):
And you're physically and emotionally stressed, and the plan you had for the summer basically disappears.
Because you know what, in those moments, mindset is everything.
It's not just a quote that we see on an Instagram meme.
It really becomes all about survival.
It becomes about finding It's really how we stay connected to yourself instead of completely spinning out of fear and going into total fight or flight mode.
(02:23):
This is what I want to say upfront, loud, and clear.
I'm not sharing this from the other side.
I am still an active breast cancer patient.
I am still healing both physically and mentally.
On July 1st, I'm gonna be taking Tamoxifen, a medication that I'll have to start taking daily for the next 10 years to reduce the risk of recurrence with this breast cancer.
(02:53):
When I talk about mindset.
I'm mean the one that I'm actually choosing right now in real time.
I thought that it was really important to share this conversation with you today to let you know how I'm actively choosing to stay away from the victim mindset, which we'll talk about in a little bit.
(03:13):
It's not just what I am coaching my clients right now.
It's the mindset that I'm actually living day to day.
This is one thing that I absolutely know that if you want to keep making decisions from a grounded place where you want to feel proactive rather than reactive, if you want to continue healing both emotionally and physically, it's so important to keep my brain online and to be.
(03:41):
Focusing from my logical part of the brain.
I really need to stay in a mindset that helps me move forward and doesn't keep me in that fight or flight.
Frozen state.
That's where this work really comes in.
In my coaching practice, I always start every single client that I start to work with.
(04:02):
We complete the lifestyle and mindset assessment because we all see the world through different lenses or filters.
I.
This assessment allows my clients and me to see on a piece of paper in front of us in black and white, the lenses that they have developed up to this point.
(04:24):
Those lenses, they really affect everything.
How we, you know, kind of react under stress, how we communicate, how we lead, how we move through life, how we view challenges.
The biggest challenge is when we're unaware of the lenses that we're moving through, we move through life on autopilot.
(04:46):
At that point we often get stuck in patterns that drain us or keep us small.
When we become aware, we get to shift.
And what's so important when you're in the middle of some kind of challenge, it doesn't have to be, illness or anything.
It's so important to understand the mindset that you're viewing life through.
(05:06):
For me, I had to work really hard to stay out of panic mode and to take my power back.
I default to a rose color glasses kind of, um.
Lens.
That's just my default.
But when you're faced with a potentially life-threatening disease like breast cancer, it's very easy to slip into that, victim mode.
(05:33):
But for me, I'm actively doing everything I can moment by moment to really regulate myself, because I definitely do not want to default into that victim energy.
Because that puts you into fight or flight mode, and then you're operating from a powerless state and one of fight or flight.
(05:55):
I really need to be clear right now that it doesn't mean that I don't feel things.
I absolutely feel sadness, overwhelm.
I've been scared at different moments.
That's not what this is all about because I really do, and everybody needs to experience those feelings.
It's just how long do you stay in those? So.
(06:17):
I feel it.
I feel it all, but I work every single day to stay grounded enough so that I can respond and not be from a reactive state.
I wanna share a little bit about what this practice has looked like for me over these past few months.
I created a playlist, a collective fight club playlist.
(06:42):
I asked my friends and family to give me their, fight songs and I put it on Spotify and on Apple Music, and I can link it in the show notes because I needed songs for when I wanted to feel strong.
When I was taking a shower, I blast the music.
Or just right before an appointment, right before my surgery, I actually had headphones and in the waiting room I was dancing around the waiting room, listening to my fight club playlist.
(07:14):
When they were injecting me for the radioactive lymph node biopsy, I asked if I could put my music on, and then I have my zen vibe.
Playlist also when I need to come back to calm and I played that, during one of my drain removals, I asked if I could play the music, so I'm constantly asking for what I need.
(07:40):
I also created Fight Club member bracelets, and I passed them out to friends and family.
I passed them all out to the doctors on my team.
I passed 'em out to the nurses because I wanted to know that I'm not in this fight alone and that it was something like a physical that we all had together.
I played music in the van on the way to surgery.
(08:04):
I had to be transported from one building to the next, and I was blasting Mr.
Brightside.
And it wasn't a matter of escaping, it was a matter of helping my body stay grounded and more in like this excitement mode rather than this panic mode.
And then when I had to do the MRI.
(08:27):
Biopsies needle biopsies.
I pretended that the MRI machine was a spot.
Let me be clear though.
I did take a Xanax and there is nothing wrong and no shame in, you know, using other forms of medication or something to help you stay grounded.
But I also pretended that all those booming noises that they were part of my fantasy sound bath.
(08:54):
So it's how we talk to our brain to keep our body feeling grounded.
And right before surgery, I do have a fear of anesthesia..
When I had a fibro adenoma removed, I had a trying experience and I whimpered through the whole procedure and felt things.
So I have a fear, and I mentioned that to the anesthesiologist and when they were about to do the nerve block, I.
(09:21):
Looked at the nurse and I said, okay, here we go.
We're going to the most beautiful spa in Greece.
And I closed my eyes and I tried to breathe deeply and pretend that we were in this beautiful spa in Greece.
And we all laughed.
But we also knew that that was my way of calming my body and.
(09:44):
Making sure that I took control of the power in a situation where I felt that I had, you know, limited control.
And again, all this is not because I'm in denial, but because I really needed to let my body know that I was safe, that this wasn't a time where I should be.
(10:06):
You know, I was scared, but I needed to allow my body to.
Relax, and I've used humor.
I've cracked plenty of terrible jokes or said silly things to the nurses, um, just to lighten the mood for myself.
I've used music, I've asked for what I needed.
(10:27):
That is where you really take back the power.
Of course I've had moments where I've cracked open.
I cried during my first drain removal appointment.
I had two drains and the first one I cried and I.
(10:47):
Not necessarily from the pain.
It definitely felt strange, but I just cried from being so overwhelmed and I asked the nurse for a moment because then I had to do the expansion, the, you know, the breast fill.
Um, and I couldn't do it right away, so I asked her for.
(11:08):
A moment we changed the subject.
I started asking questions.
I asked if I could put some music on just so my body could calm down, so I could regulate again.
I sat, I breathed, I had asked for, um, she gave me like a gauze, squeezy, just so I could take a moment.
(11:30):
I very well could have just said, okay, let's rush through it.
I wanna get outta here, but my body, it.
It was tense and I knew that I had more control in that situation to calm myself down.
So it's important to always ask for what you need and that particular moment that reminded me that mindset work.
(11:52):
Actually works.
And that's what it looks like in real time.
And it's not pretending that we're okay.
I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
And move through it.
It's asking for what you need.
It's knowing how to return to yourself when things feel hard and outta control.
(12:13):
And now it's really important.
I wanna talk about something that comes up.
When we're going through transitions, when there's a challenging time, especially ones we didn't choose, and that's the victim mindset.
And I wanna be honest, this one, it's kind of sneaky and it's not just the woe is me kind of situation.
(12:39):
Sometimes it sounds like, you know, we might say, why me? This sucks.
It's so unfair.
I don't ask for this.
Nothing ever works out for me or I can't do anything about it, but I want you to know that sometimes, of course, those thoughts do pop up, and they did pop up with me and they continue to pop up, but.
(13:01):
The key is if I stay there, I give all my power away.
I feel helpless, and that is not something that serves me, and I know I have so much more power, even in a situation that feels so out of control, I.
And there's a big difference between feeling your feelings and then living inside a victim lens.
(13:23):
And the victim mindset becomes your default lens.
When you feel completely outta control and disconnected from choice, you always have a choice.
And doing nothing is a choice too.
So.
When that victim lens takes over, everything really starts to feel and look heavier, feels completely overwhelming, and totally lack of control.
(13:52):
Something that's really interesting is that even the same exact message, let's say you received a text, an email, a conversation, a in my case.
A message in my portal, something, it gets read completely differently depending on your mindset.
So if I were to open up my portal and was in this constant fight or flight mode, any little message that a doctor wrote to me or.
(14:21):
Even in an appointment that popped up, something would put me into panic.
But if I stay grounded and I look at this through my rose colored glasses, not meaning that I am, you know, not scared, but that I look at something with control, then it completely changes the tone of the message that I hear in my mind as I read it.
(14:48):
So when we stay again in victim mentality, you start to assume the worst.
You read everything differently.
You see everything differently.
Your mind spirals.
You stop seeing those options, but even inside the most difficult moments, I want to make it clear that you.
(15:09):
Always have some choice.
And sometimes that choice is as simple as, you know, how am I talking to myself right now? Is the way that I'm thinking and breathing, is that serving me? What's playing? What are those thoughts that are playing in the background? And have you even taken just a deep breath? Have you asked for what you need? Have you turned on that music? And again, this isn't about bypassing all the hard stuff.
(15:37):
I'm not here to say, oh, just think positive and everything's going to be fine.
'cause that's not what I'm doing.
That absolutely is not the case.
I'm processing, I'm working through things, I'm writing, I'm listening to the hard stuff.
But what I'm really trying to say is that if you want to feel powerful again.
(15:59):
Even in those moments where you feel powerlessness, you have to get curious about the lens that you're looking through 100% and that it takes practice.
I am actively trying to do that every single day since, you know, I, I do that naturally before this, you know, challenging diagnosis, but even more so.
(16:26):
Now, but I promise you, the more you practice it, the more access you'll have to it for yourself, even in challenging times.
If you're in a chapter that feels completely out of your control, if you're facing something uncertain, painful, or unexpected, this is your reminder.
(16:46):
You are allowed to feel it all as we should.
I'm not saying numb yourself because that is not.
Is not healthy either.
You still get to choose how you move through it, and your choice does not have to be panic.
You do not have to live in victim mode.
(17:08):
You do not have to hand over your power.
You absolutely can choose a different lens.
Those other lenses are available if you want it.
You can shift your energy.
You can take a breath, you can anchor in music.
I will link my playlists.
You can use a little humor.
Movement is really important.
(17:28):
Like I said, when I was.
Right before surgery, I was pacing with my music, the.
Uh, waiting room and moving my body, trying to regulate my breath.
Lean in on your community.
I had some wonderful friends that started a walking challenge for me.
Knowing that you're not alone helps you immediately shift your mindset.
(17:54):
Whatever helps you regulate, and I'm telling you, one day it might be something completely different.
So knowing what you're doing and actively practicing that is really important and you don't have to do it perfectly.
Trust me, this is messy and what I'm doing is a complete and utter shit show sometimes, but I'm aware and I'm trying really hard to do what I can, so I don't.
(18:22):
Fall into that victim mindset and that I am able to act in a, in a, um, responsive way rather than feeling as though I'm just reacting to everything that's thrown at me.
The most important thing is just keep showing up and know that you've got this.
(18:43):
I want to truly thank you for being here, for continuing to listen.
I promise there will be more guest episodes and deeper conversations our coming soon.
If you want to explore your own lens, the one that you kind of default to under stress and transition, and you want to take the lifestyle and mindset assessment.
(19:07):
Reach out.
I will post it in the show notes.
I promise you it's a really powerful tool to understand how you're currently viewing the world, and it is one of the most powerful tools I use with my clients to help them really shift perspective and reclaim their choice.
As I said, I will drop that in the show notes and remember, you've got this, and if you forget, you can always hit play again. 190 00:19:37,463.333 --> 00:19:38,423.333 Love this episode. 191 00:19:38,573.333 --> 00:19:41,453.333 Make sure to subscribe so you never miss what's next. 192 00:19:41,963.333 --> 00:19:46,403.333 If today's conversation resonated, please leave a review@rapistpodcast.com 193 00:19:46,673.333 --> 00:19:47,753.333 slash the next chapter. 194 00:19:47,753.333 --> 00:19:50,603.333 Her It helps more women find their roadmap back to Joy. 195 00:19:50,963.333 --> 00:19:53,993.333 Ready for more support, visit fully informed life.com 196 00:19:53,993.333 --> 00:19:55,493.333 to learn how we can work together. 197 00:19:55,703.333 --> 00:19:58,13.333 Until next time, keep writing your next chapter.
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