S1 Ep2: Unmasking Masculinity: A Deep Dive into Manhood, Anger, and Forgiveness

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Music.

(00:14):
We're here once again at the Player Circle Podcast, man.
And I don't feel like it's my duty to break us in no more and start us off right.
Because I got them LR keys, but I don't know if nobody sent them LR keys like my man P's over there.
I would like you to do the honors, my good sir.
Welcome to the Player Circle Podcast, man. What's happening?

(00:36):
Yeah, man. What's up with it, man? It's P.T. the Great, man.
Welcome to the Player Circle Podcast.
But we don't try to fit a square into a circle, you know. So come around so
we can show you how to turn it down.
You know what I'm talking about?
And we ain't turning down nothing but our collar, man. We get to it.
And this week, we are going to be discussing manhood and masculinity.
Hello. You know what I'm saying? And anger and forgiveness.

(01:00):
And what we learned about it. Got some laughs out of everybody.
And how we feel about it, especially being black men, what we were taught and
surrounded about it. So I'm going to start with you, D'Anthony.
Start with the so i'm just phrasing start with the
masculinity and manhood growing up what did it mean to
be a man isn't it good question it man

(01:20):
don't cry i remember my mama you know most people mama used to be like come
over here and do that little dance do that little dance for you you know stuff
like that yeah my mama come over here and do that little was show them you could
take a punch pick your chest up boom i take the suck that shit up take it and
i felt good it made And he felt like the guy was making my mama proud,

(01:41):
you feel me? But I'm a little kid getting socked in his chest.
But it was really her just toughing me up. I ain't had no men around,
wasn't nothing like that. She showed me how to be tough.
I remember getting jumped for the first time and running across the street.
I was probably nine, eight, eight or seven. I got jumped by the little boys across the street.
I ran across the street and told them I got jumped. And they made me go back outside and fight.

(02:03):
It wasn't no coming in. And then when she did it, my auntie grabbed me by the
shoulder and she said, that if you lose, I'm going to beat your ass.
That's what basketball literally was for me, not backing down.
I miss the ain't going. That's why I love that bar by Boss Man. Not nothing.
Tough is just I ain't going. We getting tough. Yeah. People know it. People out here too.

(02:24):
It's something I learned that we are putting in. It's called the man box.
All of us are putting it as kids, as child, as children. We tell our little
boys and stuff, don't cry. They don't get to cry as kids. Hey, stop all that crying.
You might let your little girl do it, but you're telling your little kid,
baby, conditioning them as a kid to not cry, to not show emotion,
to not. So we placed in this man box that was masculinity for me.

(02:48):
Anger, if you made me too angry, I was going to hit you right off the bat.
Like, and it's crazy that that's what.
That's just what it was. It's what it was. Like if I, it wasn't that me and
you are going to get into the discussion and we're going to have a discussion.
We're going to hold a discussion and I might disagree with you.
You might disagree with me.
Then I might got to get violent. But in our world, it got to get violent.

(03:12):
We disagree. green she gotta go to violence right
off the rip just did anybody learn anything different was
anybody taught anything different i mean it was pretty much the same
like you know like he was
saying mama like if you don't whip his ass then i'm gonna whip your ass or in
my case it was my big brother he like he'd stand right there and be like hey

(03:32):
you've been beat his ass or i'm gonna beat your ass yeah straight up no yeah
i came from a different different upbringing where I got both sides of it,
where it was the, no, that is not what you do.
But I was also never taught what to do.
So they told me not to do this. Okay. I got that part.
What are the other options? What else do you do after that?

(03:56):
Outside of that, then what do I do? I come outside and I'm outside and I'm hanging
out with y'all. So what you think you end up doing?
Everybody else do. What everybody else do. So that's the one of it.
I was told and I understand and you know it's bad, but they don't sit down,
like you said, D'Anthony, and be like, look, this is how you talk to a situation
when somebody's made you mad.
And these are the emotions that come about. And this is how,

(04:16):
didn't get that. So you know it's wrong, but it's like, all right,
well, I don't know what to do. You ain't really showed me what to do.
I'm going to do what I see.
Everybody else do. Oh, gee. Well, a lot of times without explaining that,
you're storing up anger.
And that's what it was built for us to do is to store up anger.
So when we release it, it goes violent.

(04:37):
So you weren't taught anything. You weren't taught to discuss anything.
Use your hands. Use a stick. Use something, but not use your words.
See, and without using your words, you're going to stay frustrated and angry,
and you're going to lash out what's inside you, not even knowing that's what's
happening to us. We're not knowing that.
So when you let that out, you don't know how to control that because you can't

(04:59):
control anger because once it's too suppressed, then it explodes.
And now it's all over the place. Man, we've been, once again,
I said this on the last round, we've been programmed. And now we need to understand,
we need to go deep into our souls to see how do we unprogram being programmed?
How do we get out of that? Because we're talking about the same things.
We're all from the same place. It seemed like we was all in each other's house.

(05:21):
Yet that was a buildup of what? Anger.
Not teaching us how to release anything, but teaching us how to harbor.
And then when the anger is released, that's why we're in prison.
That's why we're in jail.
That's why we talk crazy to the police. That's why we fight each other.
Why? Because it's all, it's pipped in.
And now you have to release it. and now here we go but then again
speaking on the releasing part like that's

(05:43):
the thing fighting was our release that's
what we was taught to do to fight to release that anger
get it off your chest and be done with it
but what happens is now is i'm picking up a gun i'm knocking the down i'm shooting
him i ain't playing no games i'm not fighting no more none of that that's what

(06:03):
what it's come to now but like you said we gotta we gotta unlearn the shit that we learned.
To move forward, you know what I'm saying? That's deep, Bo, because we got deep
into, like you said, first it was the hands, now it's the guns.
So it elevated to another level of anger, you know what I'm saying?
Another level of ignorance and not understanding because the programming,

(06:25):
brother, the programming is supposed to be destroyed.
They put a lot of effort into the programming.
They did a lot to us long before a lot of us got here.
But you know what I've noticed about myself? I am one of the,
like, I make so many mental mistakes when I'm angry.
But in realizing to make them even more stupider to make them,

(06:46):
when you know not to be ignorant to what you're doing is one thing.
Being ignorant to the mistake you're making, all right, I can understand you're doing it.
But when you know you're doing wrong and still make that mistake, it's on you.
And the consequence that you got to deal with when you make that mistake is on you as well.
Anger, not thinking in these moments of anger, that's
how brothers end up in in two boxes you

(07:09):
either end up in a casket or you gonna end up in a cell by by
letting the anger be so frustrating to come
out i'm not thinking my judgment is clouded by anger that shit is a dangerous
thing so that's why we do got to learn how to control our anger we gotta learn
how to think in those moments just because we got these straps and all that
you can have it but do i gotta think angrily and put myself in danger because

(07:30):
of it we ain't doing that we need to stop,
slow down, and think, and we don't ever do that.
Our people, our men, our young men, when they in those volatile situations.
Never slow down like that game Max Payne.
They got that shit where he busting and shooting. You could do a code or some
shit, and he slow everything down and thinking shit like that.

(07:50):
We don't slow shit down. There ain't no thinking.
In those moments of, you know.
I got something for Sikander, because I'm curious to know your...
Your upbringing was different in a sense that, for those who don't know,
right, your father owned a business.
And all y'all was in there working early, kind of doing like around the business.

(08:14):
Every time I saw it, y'all were there with the business. So on your side of
the fence, kind of wrap that up for us.
I mean, that's a different conversation, too. I had a lot of resentment about
that because, you know, we all was out playing basketball.
I had to sweep floors and shit, you know. know yeah but i don't think it definitely
i don't think a lot of people romanticize it
say like oh it built work ethic and this that and the other
you know what i mean and it didn't really do that i had a lot

(08:37):
of resentment about that my whole upbringing around that stuff
you know what i mean yeah but in terms of this manhood piece i
didn't get it i mean it's different in a sense my father
was there but my father worked 12 hours a day seven days
a week or 10 or whatever right really about 12 hours a
day seven days a week most of my life so the only time i really got to be around
my father was at work and uh i didn't get any specific messaging that i could

(09:01):
really remember there were times where little things are trickling like what
y'all talking about but generally i didn't get a lot of guidance around it but
i learned a lot through observation,
so my father is uh had the same you know he has an anger problem right so break
stuff you know like you know just violent outbursts like you talked about right
like it comes out as violence and it goes back to what I heard you say.

(09:23):
It's like, what are we teaching boys at such a young age?
Not just the don't cry, but we're almost, there's other things.
It's like, there's what you do and what you tell people. And then there's also
what you don't do and don't tell people.
And I think that what I'm trying to say is that as men, I think a lot of us
learned that the only acceptable emotion or the only emotion that people accept

(09:44):
from us is anger and violence, right?
Like if If you think about movies or even think about personal experiences,
like somebody could die close to you.
And if you react in anger, people understand.
It's one of the only ones that scene, right? It's like, it's like you could
be crying, but you gotta be breaking shit where you cry. Just like in movies, you know? So.
So a lot of times for men, the only emotion that's really acceptable is anger.

(10:08):
But the messed up part about that is anger is a secondary emotion, right?
So if you dive into anger, you get angry because there's something else you're
dealing with that you aren't able to deal with or able to process.
So right now, right, I'm dealing with some shit, man. I've been going through it.
Before we started all this shit, like right before all this shit got started,

(10:28):
I was doing this shit with work and everything like that. but one of the motherfuckers
who was involved with my brother getting killed got released from jail.
And that shit fucked with me, fucked me up like I couldn't believe it, you feel me?
And I'm feeling obligated, you feel me?
Obligated by a law, obligated by a code. Street law. You feel me?

(10:51):
My little brother is in jail facing 20 right now over an M.
I call him. This is the one under him. I call him, and I'm like, yo, I'm hurt.
I don't know what to do. And I'm but I also was telling him everything I had
going on with y'all and all of the plans and shit And I'm crying and I'm like,
yo, what the fuck? What do I do?
Fuck any time the fuck do you mean? You don't know what to do.
You just told me everything you got going You know what to do do that and then

(11:14):
my little brother told me that it's shit phone. So that hurt me, right?
Yeah, my little my brother-in-law just got killed. I mean I'm in a guy and again
I'm in a situation where know exactly who?
You feel me It's nothing And I can't do anything I'm Not that I can't do anything
I know right from wrong I know I can't Right so then Out of anger Day of the funeral I

(11:37):
beat up My motherfucker You feel me I get out there I get in a fight The day
of the funeral 30 minutes before the funeral,
I'm supposed to be a pallbearer And I get in a fight With a nigga Downtown Oakland
Middle of the street You feel me I put myself in a dumb shit race And he reached
under the seat And everything I'm knowing it's wrong I'm knowing this person
Could potentially kill me and throw away everything I got going.

(11:57):
That did not stop me from doing what I did. It didn't stop me.
It didn't make me think. Even though I know everything I got going for me, it didn't.
And I know. That's like I'm saying. But it's out of anger because I can't do
something to the people I really want to do something to.
So I'm like, anybody who really do anything to me that make me have an excuse
to do something to you, I lashed out.
And I lashed out and put myself in a situation where, fortunately,

(12:20):
afterwards, I was able to communicate to the gentleman and we was able to get
talked in, not go a certain way. But what if it went another way?
What if he decided that he was not willing to take what just occurred? And you feel me?
Everything could be gone over anger. And it's because of what you just said.
I'm really pissed off I can't do nothing.
It's not that, but it's not even that you're pissed off. You're grieving.

(12:43):
You're sad. But you also got to learn how to channel it, though.
You can't let it consume you because, like you said, if you do.
Then somebody might be having the same bad day you having, and now y'all both having a bad day.
Either you in jail for him or he in jail for him.
Either way, both of y'all going to lose. You know what I'm saying?

(13:04):
I know that. That's why I was talking about being. It's one thing to be ignorant
of this, but it's foolish and it's dumb. And I know that.
You feel me? But that anger shit, bro, and that's why I don't know.
I'm just trying to be better.
I'm trying to get closer to God because, bro, I know that shit ain't what's
right. That's what I want the young men to know, bro.
We got to think in these situations because you got so much you could be throwing away, bro.

(13:28):
If you throw this away, bro, think how dumb I feel sitting around somewhere in a cell.
And I know my cats is out doing this and
I'm sitting around playing bro over some stuff we can't walk away about like
even when the situation in Houston when that situation happened that made me
want to change my life when I saw me you know saw me in that situation and dude
could have lost his life like 67 seconds how long that video was my life 67

(13:54):
seconds almost cost me 25 years,
over not thinking over something I really could have walked away and got comp
could have got some some free shit by walking away.
So I got a question. I got a question.
Who had their father in their life?
One, two, three. So we have 50-50 split on this, right? So we did, y'all didn't.

(14:15):
How do you think that has, when you look at it, how do you think that has affected any of you?
I actually want to start with you because we had a good conversation earlier
this week about some other things.
But what do you think that did? What did you miss out on? What did not having,
just what do you think that did for you?
Having my father in my life actually gave

(14:38):
me an example of how to behave
how to deal with hardships and i'm not speaking from a position whether as if
i'm some perfect individual that has never acted out in violence or any of that
and i'm once again i said in an earlier episode that i believe violence is intelligence
you know what i mean when you talk about from a self-defense perspective.

(15:00):
But I don't think that an individual should just be going out and hurting people
for no reason. You know what I mean?
But to defend yourself, to defend your family, things are what they are sometimes.
You know what I mean? And a man is naturally what a man is. The world has never
been peaches and cream to where there has never been any type of acts of violence going on.
So we're not trying to paint a picture of some type of fantasy.

(15:22):
But my father and his actions, I got to see a man that was patient,
that was cool under pressure, that had the ability to talk to people,
you know, and so who was very slow to anger.
That doesn't mean that my father never got into anything.
I remember he used to work for
like Muni and an individual came on to the Muni one time and spit on him.

(15:45):
Well, I mean, we know what happened after that. He got his ass.
It just was what it was, you know, or it was another situation where
he being a bus bus driver was on the bus a dude had
his son with him and he
got on the bus all angry and drunk and
all of this type of stuff and so pops always told me like listen man these other
people when they jobs you know you don't throw your life away and risk your

(16:08):
life for somebody else's job you know what i'm saying at the same time though
he has a duty to to protect the other passengers that's on the bus so it's like
hey listen man you can't you got your son with you you can't be on this bus acting a fool.
So what happens is he gets off the bus. He has to San Francisco,
you know, they got the cable cords and all that. So he's out there trying to
fix the cord and dude run up on him.

(16:28):
So he mixed dude up, you know, police come and they like, well,
you want to press charges on this individual?
And he's like, nah, I don't want to press charges on the individual.
Just take him and his child and just tell him just, just to go. You know what I mean?
So that did a lot for me. I want to touch on something real quick though, that was said, right?
We don't go back far enough. One thing that we have to understand is the root of the problem.

(16:54):
OK, when you're dealing with anger and emotions, you're dealing with chemicals.
Human beings have a chemical makeup. OK, every emotion that you feel is triggered by a chemical.
OK, so we're talking emotional intelligence right now.
Anger comes from block goals. goals
that is where anger comes from block goals why do

(17:15):
you feel the way this dude just got out of prison you are
upset because at one point in
time you felt like even though my family member is
not here right at least there was some type of country there was some type of
a consequence you know some type of retribution for what happened to your family
member which then made you at least feel like all right well i could deal with

(17:38):
that in that capacity so now individual getting out you feel like that retribution
has been stripped away from you.
Now you have a blocked goal because now I have to deliver some type of retribution
for what happened to my family member. It's a blocked goal.
Same thing. You chilling with your baby mama. She's tripping.
She won't allow you to see your children and do all of that.
You're angry. You're upset.

(17:58):
You're mad at her. Why? Because she's blocking your goal of your relationship with your children.
Okay. Police pull you over. We hate the police.
Why do we hate the police? Because ultimately you blocking
me from making it home to my family you're blocking
my goals and so this is where anger stems from block
goals you can go back to every situation you done been
angry in your mama whooped your butt it ain't

(18:22):
the butt whooping you was mad about it's the fact that you can't go back outside and
play with your friends she blocked your goal you get suspended from
school you want to be at school so you could chill with the little girls or
chill with your homie block goals it was a butt whooping too
for sure for sure
for sure for sure and so yeah that's that's
a part and partial of the situation man block goals is is

(18:42):
everything and so when we think about this anger and how we behave in a violent
manner talking about masculinity and stuff right we have to go back okay who
taught you that it was that the answer to parenting is whooping your children
you got that from the slave master.
So once you got that from the slave master right you also got

(19:03):
hatred from the slave master because the willie lynch letter teaches us that
we have to divide the old from the young you know what i mean the male from
the female all of these things we still see going on today that's exactly that's
the program and so when we understand that right the way your brain works okay chemically.
You get upset. The thinking portion of your brain is actually in the back.

(19:26):
OK, it's not in the front. The emotional portion of your brain is in the front.
So as soon as you get upset, right, that emotion, those chemicals start to release in the front.
You have to calm yourself long enough to allow you even to get what's to process
what's going on so I can get to the back so you can start to think.
Because otherwise you're only moving off of emotion. emotion so

(19:47):
if you're reacting in the moment dealing with
you're only dealing with the emotional part so why do
you see so much so much violence with black men
in the black community majority of us were raised by our
mothers i was about to say man i gotta say this though
too shout out to the the women that's doing this alone because i
honestly i was raised by three little women i wouldn't be

(20:07):
the man i am today without my this my granny across my
throat like the man i am real male we're alpha
it came from three little women they collectively got together now when I think
about it it was two men in my life my grandpa which is my my granny's husband
no blood relation and then my uncle my mom's my mom's brother my pops and them

(20:29):
was in the neighborhood but I really didn't.
I ain't know them like that I ain't see my pops like the memory
first memory I have of my dad was I was like three years old probably
in the bathroom he had a ski mask he had a gold tooth
I just think Mike Tyson was my dad this is because three
at three years old I just remember him in the bathroom scaring me with
a ski mask he kept scaring me and then from three I

(20:50):
didn't know he was in prison he was on drugs he was
around in the neighborhood he just wasn't around me and then when I was like
nine or ten I'm coming out of school one day and I looked in the gym the gym
at Brookfield Rake and he used to be working out and shit buff-ass nigga in
there working out look like Mike Tyson and I'm like I know this nigga I go in
there I look looking at I didn't give a look at him up and down. He looking at me.

(21:12):
I know this is him. He like, what's up? I fire on that nigga. I fuck up.
Anger. The block go. You don't even know who I am. So let me give you something.
When you talk about your women, because this is important.
I'm going to finish my point. Then we can move on to someone else.
So women, beautiful. They do their best. We're not knocking them.
We're not saying that their contributions are not important because they are very, very important.

(21:34):
This is why it's important to have two parents in the home because each is supposed
to give you certain nurturing,
you know, in certain lessons right and so the
thing though right is women are very
emotional this is a fact women are very
emotional the chemical makeup of the situation makes things this
way right men are emotional too but definitely women
are we're more logical than we are emotional for the

(21:56):
most point but when you're raised right and you
see the examples a cat can't teach a dog how to climb
trees so we utilize our emotions differently though see a woman nine times out
of ten who has not been who has not taken on these masculine traits right that
has has happened to our women right a woman when she gets upset and she gets

(22:18):
angry what she starts to do is cry.
In her frustration. But that's not what a little boy does.
That's not what a young man does, okay? But it's the same emotion that's being
displayed because the mother, how does she deal with you?
As a young man, these women in your life, when you were misbehaving,
what do they start to do? They start to yell all out.
They start to do these things, and this is how they try to deal with you,

(22:40):
right? A man don't have to do that.
It's funny because they actually call me the baby whisperer.
All the kids, the project kids, snotty nose, it don't matter.
The kids is listen to me right because i'm a
man's man and i don't have to do all of that a
masculine man right doesn't have to yell you come
in and you say hey hey hey sit down and it's
over and it's over with so the reason i bring that up

(23:01):
right is because by being around the women right
all the time without the masculine energy around we pick
up those emotions right from them the
only difference is when we get mad we take the more control
and we throw it at the tv when we get mad we ready
to punch on something that is the difference so this
is why you're seeing all of the violence because we've been taught to

(23:22):
deal with our problems emotionally like women deal with them for the most part
right except for our emotions come out as violence hey because cooking right
now well go ahead he's cooking right now we've been suppressed the men has been
suppressed and when When you suppress men,
all you're going to receive is anger.

(23:43):
Love women. Don't get me wrong, but a woman can never tell a boy who he is.
Only a man can tell you who he is. You got great, strong women.
Because, see, back in my day, it was a whole bunch of strong women.
But the men, my father, my friends, I had about three or four friends,
all their fathers was alcoholics.
You see what I'm saying? Because how we were being suppressed,

(24:05):
there was no jobs. We knew how to make babies, but we didn't know how to take care of them.
We didn't know how to really be fathers in that time.
So they got frustrated, and the only thing they would reach out for was the
alcohol, which was on every corner in Oakland.
Every corner in Oakland, it was alcohol. So I'll never forget, I'm 50 years old.
I had a business.

(24:27):
I hadn't been successful as far as what a man is about.
I'm driving down the street. I look in the mirror. Tears start running down
my eyes. Like, what is this?
Something. Now, my father was abusive. He beat my mother. He never said nothing
to me. I don't know anything good about my father, but I'm looking in the mirror saying.

(24:47):
I'm crying because he never told me who I was. He never spoke life into me. I like what you said.
Your father was around you. He spoke life into you, and that's why you stand where you at.
But a lot of us, we didn't get life spoken to us. So then what are we doing?
We're searching for everything. Why?
Because there ain't nothing there. And what we see out of the ghetto,
out of the places we come from, is just madness.

(25:09):
And then we copy what we see because that's what we do. We end up copying,
and the next thing you know, we're all over the place not knowing.
If you ever noticed, they couldn't control you when you got to a certain point.
When you got to a certain age, you was wild. You was butthead. Bo at 12.
You know what I'm saying? Bo at 12. Bo at 12.
Bo at 12. Some man would have spoken to Bo's life. Bo would have sat down somewhere,

(25:33):
but Bo couldn't sit down because he acted neither.
I was all over the place. Nobody spoken to my life.
Nobody told me what a man was. What I seen was a man had a whole bunch of women,
and what he did was he funnicated. He was all over the place doing all kinds of stuff.
That's what my vision was. So I didn't get to see a man until it was really,

(25:53):
oh, and by then it was too late because I'm thinking he ain't no man. He a sucker.
You get what I'm saying? That's just like now they call tricking a sucker.
They want to make you think taking care of a woman is some sucker shit when
really, bro, that's some man shit.
That's what our duty is as men. It is a difference. It's a difference between
tricking. Taking care of a woman.

(26:13):
No, but I'm saying they'll make you do it. They'll make you think anything is
true. They'll make you think being a man is a sucker, some sucker shit, but it's not.
There's a whole lot of suckers around. There's a whole lot of suckers around,
but I'm talking about just the mere fact that... See, that got to be put in context, right?
That's a whole lot of... But I'm quick, and I don't want us to get off topic
real quick. That got to be put in context, right?

(26:35):
Because it's important for a man to take care of his woman.
But when we see society today, right, the way these women think,
right, they have turned themselves...
They've been programmed. they've been programmed basically to be poor in a
sense and that's i'm not hey and listen hey listen
i'm saying though listen the reason i say this
right and let me clarify my position right the

(26:57):
reason i say this is this if a woman
only reason for messing with a man is what
he has in his pocket for that moment
right what does a prostitute do she goes
and lays down with a man right for a
contribution to her campaign that's just
what it is and so of course i'm not saying that that's

(27:18):
every woman because that ain't the case you know what i mean so you're like
not episodes yeah let's not let's not get that
twisted and say that's the case for every woman because it's not right but at
the same time right if your purpose right of having a man in your life is only
for him to give you some type of money for that meantime as soon as he can't
provide you with some type of money you don't then she on to the next so that's

(27:41):
what that is wouldn't the term for that be a gold digger.
No, no, I'm saying, no, no, no, but follow what I'm saying. You're dressing
it up. Follow what I'm saying, but that's the term that would be used before, right?
But that's exactly what you're describing would also be described in that way,
right? So it's not just women.
So it's really about women who have that desire, right? A specific time.
But I think, which is being pushed into music. This is what I'm saying.

(28:01):
But the other piece is, I mean, but I just want us to be mindful,
because a lot of what we're talking about is socialization, right?
For sure. Because at one point we talked, you started off talking about when
I was young, when I was a boy, they were telling me, don't cry,
don't do this, don't do this.
They would say, come over here, let me punch you in the chest,
show everybody how tough you are, right?
If you're being trained like that when you're young, how else will you respond

(28:22):
to things as you get older?
So even when we're talking about some of the things, a lot of this is really derogatory.
You brought up slavery, right? So it's social engineering and socialization from slavery till now.
And even these pieces about what is a man, what is a woman, about women being
emotional, men being more logical, or a lot of that is socialized into us as well. For sure.

(28:43):
And then, you know, unless we're going to talk about the scientific differences,
we got to get real detailed about that.
And I only say that because I understand where you're going,
but so many people conflate that science into just saying that women are just
naturally overly emotional because I know plenty of women who aren't like that.
And I know plenty of men who are extremely emotional.

(29:05):
But it's always an exception to the rule. For sure. Sure. But most for the most part, women are.
Well, let me say so. No, no, no. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Wait, but stop.
Like the other thing, the other thing, too, is when we talk about that,
it doesn't translate across cultures outside of the West.
And it didn't doesn't even translate across cultures or communities within the

(29:29):
West, like within the United States. Right.
Because if that was scientifically true, that would be the case for everybody,
not just black people. Right.
So I think that's something that we had to be mindful of, too,
is that we don't we don't want to just get this too deep into how individuals
act or some type of or like science or pseudoscience that gets conflated.
We also have to think about like what is like you talk about the programming,

(29:52):
right, the socialization, the systemic issues that kind of lay these things out.
Because then that goes back to the conversation we had last week when we talked
to Bo about where's the responsibility lie? Did you make a decision as a 12-year-old?
As a 12-year-old, you made a decision, but why were you in that position in
the first place? So that's the same thing in these situations.

(30:13):
You're talking about the men that were there, but what type of examples were
there? How do all those things happen? When I talk about even my father...
I understand how my father was socialized just by watching him react to things
the way he did and dealing with society.
And a lot of what he learned was from his father. And they were in Pakistan.

(30:34):
They weren't out here. They didn't go through the same type of slavery.
But at the end of it, it really all trails back to European-centric white supremacy.
And a lot of it does come out of colonization and imperialism.
But, I mean, that's if we get really
deep into the social aspect because everybody's been impacted by that.
But I just want to get that thing. I just want to pull this back and say we

(30:56):
should just be mindful about how things translate.
We're making generalizations because I don't want us to get caught up in those
same generalizations because we're trying to help people break free from something.
We don't want to tie back into similar tropes.
I disagree with the generalization that a woman can't raise a man.
I totally disagree with that because for me, as I said, my granny raised me.

(31:17):
My granny did speak life into me. I was riding in my granny.
Esau and Maximo went everywhere with her in the front seat, and she would look
at me at five years old and tell me, don't be no deadbeat.
The fuck is a deadbeat? I don't know what a deadbeat is at five.
Love you, little bro. Love you. You have to understand something.
That's why you have a woman and a man. They got to both speak life.
They got strong women. But once again, getting back to understand something.

(31:40):
See, I'm going to go biblical because I have to, because that's where my understanding comes from.
See, a woman is your other half.
She's your strong support system. And she ain't supposed to be dogged, talked about.
See, if you get this right, the book says that they come to be one.
That means we think alike, we work alike, we are combined alike.
See, all this other stuff we've been programmed into has caused chaos.

(32:04):
But a woman is the strong point. He says it is good that man not be alone.
So he gave him a woman, not no freak, no Jezebel, no mad, no sex-grade woman.
I gave you somebody to have my back. I gave you somebody to help me raise my children.

(32:26):
See, this is a societal thing. We've been whooped, and now we've got to come back.
We've got to regroup, come all the way back, and deal with the issue of,
guess what? But what is a man? What is masculinity?
You're supposed to take care of your woman because she is you.
That's what you got to get from it. All this, I need a bunch of money.
I need a bunch. No, you're missing the point. We so far off on the mark with that.

(32:51):
We so far off on the mark. Your mother, your wife, your woman is part of who you are.
Your character, your principle, your ability. That's your woman.
Woman. Because it ain't good for you to be alone because you'll go off and you
already know who you are. You already know what you'll do. So we're taking that wrong.
So I started watching these videos, man, and I get bothered by church college.

(33:14):
I know that's a hard statement for you. Man is to search God because he created
you in the image and how you're supposed to walk.
All this other stuff, man has created madness for us and we locked in.
We're locked into madness, but you got to come back.
God is waiting for us to come back from the beginning of who he's supposed to
be, which is your wife, your woman, who you choose is half of who you are.

(33:37):
So she's supposed to think like you.
She's supposed to walk like you. She's supposed to have your other side,
your weak side that you don't have.
She has your back. And when we ain't doing that, when we're not doing that,
we're not talking right.
And see, we've been programmed a lot. And brothers, I love you.
I appreciate you for bringing me into this circle because we got to go back.

(34:01):
We got to go back and do this right because we owe our daughters. We owe our kids.
We owe to get right. Yes, sir. Let me hit on something real quick.
Go for it. You said a woman is supposed to be that way, but this day and age, it's not like that.
Why, boy? The program, because of the program. I want to hear it,
boy. But because of the program, right?

(34:22):
It's not talking to a woman. That's what it's sounding like.
But because of the programming,
it kind of like threw a monkey wrench
in the game as far as getting a woman
to be that one or
become one with you because they feel
like they got gotta be the one now or they do i
gotta hold it down for the women they do gotta be the one because these niggas

(34:45):
ain't doing shit they ain't they they not coming providing and doing
what a man is supposed to do either but no wait wait
wait time out pause i got everybody for now hold on
let me finish let me finish y'all dogging them out g we can't
do the women like we're not dogging the women out bro that's just
how you would feel no i was raised by my mama too bro
i hear just because i was raised by my mama don't mean

(35:06):
that she did it right bro and just like six six
said he had both of his parents bro and he said
the same he just said it i ain't saying it was all right on some
on some of the aspects yes they make mistakes but what i'm
saying is this which about your statement about yes
the women now because of the music and everything because what's being programmed
they are being programmed to not be to get away from who they are they out here

(35:29):
probably saying they eating ass they want to eat ass and shit like that they
getting away from what a woman is today a woman today ain't being what he talked
about but the man ain't either in And it's both parts because they,
and it's programming that did it. It worked. It's successful.
That's why we're having this conversation. Because of what they talked about,
because of what Willie Lynch said he was going to do in that letter, it worked.

(35:50):
That's why we're here. That's why we're here. That's why we're here.
See, this is why this is a man's group. Why?
Because if we don't come back and teach, then they don't. See, we got to stop.
I'm with you. We ain't supposed to be dogging no women. You ain't calling women
no women. And that's not what we're doing.
That's not what we're doing. That's what I'm saying. They is.
Let me finish. We got to come back, Lil G.
We got to come back. Because now if you look deep into your own life,

(36:12):
there's some things we need to clean up.
See, you first got to admit you got something to clean up. Then you got to go
to work. You understand what I'm saying?
Now we got to go to work. I got things to do. My father taught me zero about a woman.
Do you understand that? I got into the world and was taught zero about a woman.
I didn't even know what she was. Man, look here. we got work
to do and that's why i'm in this circle talking to you

(36:33):
young brothers because we got to go back and do it right you understand
that i got you and look what i
was trying to say is that that like okay hot girl summer all of that that's
programming these chicks to think that that's what it's about if you ask me
i feel like it's more masculine women now than men because Because they've been

(36:56):
programmed to be that way.
So when you're trying to find you a wife, somebody that you could live the rest
of your life out with, it's hard because it's because the hoes.
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.
Because the hoes is standing too close to the real women.

(37:17):
So you have a hard time trying to figure out who is who.
Nah, if you got a hard time trying to figure out, that's on you,
bro. Nah, nah, nah, listen, listen, listen, nah, listen. Now listen,
because they doing the same things as the hoes is doing. They not.
Hold on, hold on. I'm telling, I'm trying to tell you, bro. Can I please say this?
Nah, when I was in the lot, when I was really doing it, right?

(37:39):
A lot of women, me and Ucton had this conversation. A lot of Wilt Chamberlain
numbers. When I got away from them,
Them hoes don't flock to me no more. They ain't around. Like,
the hoes is around you because you want hoes, bro.
I don't want hoes no more. They not around me no more. I got a good girl. I got all the different.
They not. So you see what I'm saying? Like, it's not. I'm not saying they not there.

(38:01):
I'm just saying that it's hard for somebody. It's not even hard to see.
I'm telling you, bro. It's not. I know. We have to talk.
It's very hard. You know. For me? Yeah. For me at least, bro.
I'm saying it's hard because. Say something, please. Please,
please, please, please, please, bro.
You said it's masculine women. They out here. Yes, it is the hot girl summer. It is that.

(38:24):
Why are these women being so masculine? Why are some of these women being so masculine?
They're at home having to be the woman and the father because these niggas ain't doing shit.
You niggas ain't out trying to have no goals. You niggas ain't doing shit.
Stop laying down with them. No, I'm saying it's just the same way.
It's like stop chasing hoes then.
If hoes don't turn you on, if hot girl summer don't turn you on,

(38:44):
lead him along because it is women out here i got and it is
i'm gonna let you go it's this though but listen it's you
being masculine if i gotta take care
of these three children at home by myself and i gotta teach these young men
i gotta that's why they all saying happy father's day and shit like that because
now mind you it pissed me off when they said two and shit but that's why they
happy father's day to a woman on on father's day it's crazy you already just

(39:07):
had mother's day you can teach a you can teach a girl how to be a woman no then
you think that woman can teach you how to be a man? You said you could.
That's what you said. I'm going to correct that first. Oh, correct it for me.
You did that. Correct it for me. Three little women.
Three little women. You know my point.
I'm talking about, I never said I could teach a... You said them women taught you how to be a man.

(39:28):
Three women taught me how to be a man. So you as a man could teach a girl how
to be a woman? If I had to teach... Reverse.
To teach her how to be a woman? To teach her how to be a woman? You could.
Can I raise a little girl? All the way from the beginning. Can I raise a little
girl? You had a family though. And you haven't seen the different structures.
So you're saying that coming from a point of view from zero,
you by yourself, you coming from a different perspective. So a single father
can't raise a young woman.
They can, but that's a different, you can grade them. Look, I am a man.

(39:51):
I am a man. I'll stand before you here a man today.
No man taught me the values of how to be a man. No man can speak credit for
that. And you don't think you missing nothing?
Do I think I'm missing something? Because I got men in my life.
I'm missing shit, bro. You got many.
I got this. So listen, you saying it's like you got it all right now.
No, I'm not saying like I got it all.
I'm saying with the men, you had both. You missing shit, right? I didn't have both.

(40:13):
No, who said they had both? I had both. You had both. You missing shit.
You had both. You missing shit. Having won, you're missing shit You're going
to miss it regardless But I'm speaking to the fact that A woman can raise a
man I ain't taking that from our black women I'm saying I'm saying,
A woman told me how to And I'm looking you in your eyes And telling you I'm
looking Hey, look You can What?

(40:35):
Ain't no man Alright, alright But let me look That's my truth So are you telling me No,
no, no You're not about to tell me You can't tell me A woman can't do it Because
a woman did it that I stand here before you today because of Jackie Luscious Robinson.
She taught me how to be a father. The father, yeah, I miss some shit. I miss some shit.

(40:56):
You can get some shit that's there. You miss some shit. But,
hey, can she teach me how to be a man?
Yes, because the father I am today, you can't tell me no because my children
got the father they are today because of the lessons that my grandmother taught
me, not the lessons that a man taught me, my work ethic.
My work ethic, my work ethic did not come from a man. My work ethic,

(41:17):
my work ethic came from a woman. It didn't come from a man.
The provider I am today, the provider I am today did not come from a man.
The provider I am today didn't come from a man. It came from a woman.
I think real quick, one of the things is that we're talking about,
I mean, I think the point he raised was really good.
Is that whether you've had one, a man or a woman or both or neither,

(41:41):
we're all missing stuff. But I think the end of the day is because the conversation
we're having about what is a man, that's not there's not a what I'm saying.
There's not an objective checklist.
Right. So we're not operating off an objective checklist. And we're not all we don't have that.
And even if we haven't our own understanding of what that is,
we all don't have the same one. Right.

(42:01):
So when you're saying, can a woman teach a boy how to be a man?
That's that's a lot of that is a subjective thing at this point.
Right. because when you're saying no he's saying yeah
because no man yeah right but guess what
it's the difference between a man and a male though no no
but that's real no but it's
male because you got a foul but that'll make you a man

(42:23):
but no but this is but this is all real no but this is it's become
a it's like a rhetoric thing at this point right because it's
still at the end of the day somebody had we had to have an
operational definition of man male we don't masculine
able and noble right but what does that mean so then
masculine right everything you can get into
what it means all three of those letters my granny is

(42:44):
masculine to be those things masculine we just talked about that where did i
get the masculine from go out there and how to fight a man did not but that's
not but that's not fighting the masculinity though masculine that's not that's
not that's not masculine let's define masculine first because we'll ask if i
was i'll tell you something real quick?
Your granny taught you that. I was raised by my mama. My mama didn't teach me

(43:07):
that. You know what taught me that? The streets.
I said, you know what? I'm not going to be no punk. I don't see him being a punk.
So I'm going to go out here and do whatever I know how to do.
My mama didn't teach me how to fight.
My granny taught me what to do. My granny told me. But that's what I'm saying.
I'm just trying to get you to see that.
I'm just trying to get you to see that. Your granny taught you that.

(43:28):
But my mama didn't teach me that. My granny taught me everything.
That doesn't got anything to do with masculinity. Being a man.
Brother. What a man does in a household.
Brother. My granny taught me that. if we bring
it down that's the emotion if we bring it down that's the
emotion and go to the root of the problem I talked to it
early but we didn't hear it that's good man don't man my

(43:48):
mother raised me there's good women that we can for sure that's
a fact that's a fact okay back in my day back in my day like I told you like
I said see I don't we gotta listen more brothers back when I told you I said
the what the men was alcoholics right that's what I said the women was strong
back in that day that was in I was in the 60s.

(44:09):
Back in that day, women were the backbone of the house.
Okay, bring it down. But let's go to the root of the problem.
The root of the problem, because they took your manhood away.
You couldn't read or write. You didn't know who you was.
That's a fact. That's factual.
So see, it ain't that. Here, black people are real strong.

(44:34):
Women and men. But let's go to the root.
The root is because you couldn't find a man that was trying to snuff him out
in the beginning. I had to forgive my father.
The only thing I knew about him is he beat my mother.
God told me, go to the root of the problem and you can forgive him.
Why? Because he knew no better. Why?

(44:54):
Because when they brought us over here, they took our man. They stripped you.
Rape. You've been raped. Rape.
So now we have to come back. No, your grandmother's hella strong.
My hat goes out to her. Stay with me. No, no, no.
She learned how to be a man by teaching you about watching a man.
Back in the day, see, they learned a certain way. They were strong people.

(45:18):
But we don't want to criticize men and women. We want to get to the root of
the problem so we can go forward.
We got to go forward because guess what? You told me, I don't know how many
kids you got, but you told me you got a daughter.
I know you told me you had a daughter. I know I think
you said You had a daughter I got a 15 year old Okay So guess what we gotta
do We gotta come as a village We gotta build this thing right So we can save

(45:40):
them From picking the wrong thing From doing the wrong thing And look We gotta
pick the I can raise a woman I can raise a woman too I feel like I can I got
a 15 year old Sick though I done been through hell And back with my daughter But,
It's things that As a man I can't teach her,
I had the The stuff that I was able To teach

(46:01):
her I got it from my mama or I
got it from another woman or I got it from somebody else
that I saw do it because some things I just don't know essentially what'd you
get it from I got it from a woman that's what I'm saying but that's dealing
with but listen to what I'm saying that's dealing with a woman now had I had
a son I would take my influences from a man oh my daddy used to do it like this,

(46:27):
so this is how I'm going to teach him how to do it. That ain't.
Listen, my daughter, look, bro, when she had her cycle for the first time, I didn't know what to do.
But then I said, you know what? I got a bunch of female friends.
Let me call them and see how I'm supposed to approach this.
I didn't call no man to see how to approach it. I called a woman.

(46:50):
Hey, my daughter on the cycle. Man, I don't know how to approach this.
I had a kid coming, and I ain't no shit, and I was broke, and I ain't know what to do.
And I'm sleeping in a car across the street from my baby mama house,
my baby mama grandma house.
I knew no matter what I had to get up at six o'clock in the morning and go to
this construction job to make something happen. Because I got to take care of
this little girl across the street.
A man did not teach me that value.

(47:13):
You got that from me. Listen though. I got it from who?
Hey, that's what I'm saying. I just couldn't get up to go listen to what I got.
My granny, I'm about to tell you. I'm about to tell you.
I'm about to tell you. I'm about to tell you who got up at 3 o'clock in the
morning to drive from Fairfield all the way to San Francisco to go do a construction job. My granny.

(47:34):
Mike, you can't just assume she got it from me. Exactly, because my granny did
construction for 35 years, man.
What I'm saying is my values.
I'm not going to let y'all sit up here and just say it can't be done.
It's not one way to skin a cat. We're not saying it can't be done.
It's not one way to skin a cat. You keep saying that, so let's clarify that. Let's clarify.
It did not happen. We said it can't be done. Nobody said it can't be done.

(47:55):
Same way we didn't say it. Women ain't strong.
I never said y'all said that. I never said y'all said that. I'm just saying. What did you say?
I'll say to the end. A woman cannot teach a man how to be a man.
I'm standing here before you today, people.
A woman, three little women band together to teach me how to be a man when there was absent men.

(48:16):
Now, yes, were there men I could look at and see?
I saw my grandfather getting up and go to work. I saw my uncle not really having
a job but taking care of his kids. Yes, I saw that in the house.
But the values, the things that a man is supposed to do, and men are supposed
to do these things, how to be a gentleman, how to make sure I'm on the outside
of the curb so a woman don't get no water, so anything can happen,

(48:37):
how to open a door for every woman, how to get up and let a woman sit down.
No man taught me these things.
A woman... you right i mean listen listen listen
real real quick real quick is a father supposed to teach me
these things yeah is a father supposed to teach me these things these are
things about your father should be teaching you those things though
your father should be is your father not

(48:57):
supposed to be the nigga to teach you that bro i want you to listen listen listen
real quick crazy what the nigga supposed to be doing the whole time there what's
the father supposed to let me say this right okay we have to get back right
we have to get back to the point of family right let's get Let's get back to
the importance of why masculinity is important, right? Why femininity is important, right?

(49:17):
The brother just said that the two is supposed to become the one, right?
This is a family unit. Your father and your mother, right, became one through you, okay?
The importance, right, of why we've been stripped as a people and the family
has been split up is because a nation.
This is the point. The nation, right, is made up of a bunch of little families.

(49:42):
Okay, you have families, families make clans, clans make tribe,
tribes make nations, a bunch of nations together make up an empire.
This is how life goes, okay? So the point of strength in all of that,
is the family unit, not the male. The male and the family. The family unit.
Okay, we're not, and I think this is where we're not listening, right?

(50:03):
Nobody's trying to dog out the woman. That's out of pocket. We're not doing
that. And at the same time, what you said about the men is very, very true.
Okay, we are not doing what we're supposed to be doing either,
right? And we're not talking about you as an individual. We're not talking about
your grandmother as an individual.
We're talking about a holistic, in-mass group of people. We are not playing our roles, right?

(50:25):
You play sports. We've all played sports. OK, when we talk about team together,
everyone achieves more.
What are we supposed to be doing? Everyone has defined roles that they are supposed to play.
OK, the point of a marriage, right, is to collaborate because you're about to have children.
It is a contract that says that we are coming together for the betterment of this child.

(50:46):
This child is supposed to bring forth fruit for the betterment of the community.
The community is supposed to bring forth fruit for the betterment of the nation.
Okay so we're not trying to dog out women the
fact of the matter is the influence right that
is going on is out of pocket but guess what that's on the men
too because you just you just and that's the point though
but you never let us get to that point right so we

(51:08):
have to get to the point so we can say right off the
bat okay the men is out of pocket the women is out of
pocket what we're doing on the player circle podcast is not
arguing the same nonsense that's already being argued let's
find some solutions okay so the point is
this right a man right we know it's
supposed to be a provider he's supposed to be a protector that doesn't
mean you're violent you can be a man and never throw a punch in your life okay

(51:32):
a male and a man are two totally different things what makes a male is because
he has a phallus period point blank a woman can't be a male she don't have a
phallus that's period a man is ultimately not to be a female okay period now Now,
we can talk about whatever, but that's whatever, okay?
But the point of the matter, right, is those two have roles.

(51:54):
And the roles ultimately are to bring about, right, the betterment of the child.
We've got so far with this love thing that we don't even understand love, okay?
Love is an action. Love ain't a word. This is a contractual agreement that we're
saying, right, we got each other's back.
I'm here to lift her up. She's here to lift me up. Guess what?

(52:15):
When she ain't got any things that's bad, it's my duty and my job.
But the problem is, right, that we can't take out of the play is –,
The culture, right? The society has taught our women now to play on our men.
And guess what? Society has also told our young men, this is why you said,
oh, I won't do nothing for a woman. You're going to be a trick and all that type of stuff.

(52:38):
But listen, right? And guess what? That's a bunch of nonsense.
And I'm somebody who has lived that, right?
My whole life, right? But I understand, right, that just because I live something
my whole life don't make it right, right?
A man is supposed to take care of his woman, right? Right. But he's not supposed
to be floundering around, giving his cash to every woman that looks nice and

(52:58):
just want him for his money because you have a duty and obligation to take care
of your family. So what are you doing?
So all this you ain't tricking if you got it. We don't believe in that. That ain't what this is.
Not at all. But at the same time, guess what? A woman should be making sure
that she's doing her part to help her man, right, achieve his goals.
But first, he got to have some goals.
First, he got to have. So this is what I'm saying to you. We just got to listen

(53:20):
because we're not sitting here saying, right, that, oh, the man is everything
and a woman ain't nothing. You crazy.
Do you know how long these females have been being, before it got to this,
like I said, yes, they are in that phase.
But do you know how long they had to be the one to provide and had to take care
of you and had to push and do your dreams and make sure you do your dreams and niggas still be niggas?

(53:41):
So, yeah, I feel like, like I said, when we watch this, I'm just being devil's
advocate because we can't just have one side. And right now it's very one-sided
on the yeah, these women need to get they shit together shit So I have to play devil day.
It is y'all Let me let me let me jump in so what what what let's go,
please please please please.

(54:03):
I agree with i i but you watch it you got you got your words and i'm saying
i agree with you i'm saying i
agree with you listen what i'm saying do you hear me now i agree with you
i agree with you and i think the reason is because what
you just said is a is an additional piece that wasn't
present prior and whether that was because we didn't get to it but it
was but we couldn't get to it because two things happened one is

(54:25):
it was a hyper focus on where women are what women
are doing right and i think i think you said something earlier and
i think we're in in this space is we could talk about women until
you know until we turn blue in the face but the truth is
we really one can really only control ourselves and
when we talked about why we wanted to make this space was is really to guide
men because just like you said at the end of that last piece is the issue here

(54:49):
is that men have led us straight for sure so if we get the men back on track
then we can have a conversation with women not all women but the women who we've
who i mean I mean, if we even do that,
I think the idea to RJ's point earlier was if you, you know,
you attract what you attract.
Right. And so how do we put ourselves in a position where if that's what you're

(55:09):
so mad about, that's what you keep dealing with. It's really not a lot of people just like that.
It's just a lot of what's in our face because it's what's being promoted in
the culture, in the community, whatever.
Right. The second piece is, is this piece that I feel like is very subjective.
And that's the other piece that led us astray. And I'm going to say I'm going
to say why I think it led us astray.
Is this idea that and you double down on it

(55:31):
rj is that a woman cannot raise
a boy to be a man right that's you agree that statement yes so you said it so
no no so now so now so now no no no let me finish so i'm saying is the reason
why that's problematic is because there are so many men.

(55:53):
I mean, it's just something that I don't know. I don't know how you actually
prove that for a number of reasons.
One is that there's no clear definition of what it actually means to be a man.
Because you even heard when you when you said masculine, what did he say?
He said, my grandma taught me how to fight. That's masculine.
So right. That already says there is. I would I would say that that's not exactly.

(56:14):
So I think so. There's this piece where we're saying that a woman can't teach a boy how to be a man.
What are we even really saying and the other part
about that where it's problematic is is that not just
in the black community there's across all communities
there's a large number of women that are raising boys
and the goal is to raise them to be a man and raise the young girls to be whatever

(56:34):
right and that's personal for him right because then if you say that a woman
cannot raise a boy to be a man for him it's for him what the translation is
so so let me be a man yeah you You ain't a man because you were raised by a woman.
The translation is you can't be a man because you were raised by women.
That's the translation.
So you take the end in that, and y'all take that as me saying that you never became a man.

(56:58):
That's not what it's saying. We're saying a woman cannot raise you to be a man.
You became a man along the way.
Other people helped in that, and you don't realize it. Other things helped in that.
So that's what we're saying. You became a man somewhere. So you're taking that as I never became a man.
You became a man, but your influence is running across men.
Then you take taking it that way that's not true how are

(57:20):
you taking it then i'm taking it as you just said a woman can't raise a
man and i'm sitting here before you a man and i'm telling you that
what a man does but you think no so let me answer mine because you took that
so what you're saying is that you can't raise you to be a man no but i'm a man
i said you can become a man but along the way but what he but listen but listen
listen listen what i'm saying listen this is why this is why we're not gonna
settle this let me tell you why it's not gonna let me tell you why This is why

(57:43):
it's not going to settle, listen.
This is why it's never going to settle, you know why?
No, no. Listen to what I'm saying. Listen, I'm with you. The reason why this
is never going to be settled is because he believes he objectively believes
that it's not possible at all for a woman to raise a man.
So that if what he just said was for you to have become a man,
other stuff had to happen.

(58:03):
I don't know where he's getting that information. I don't agree with you because
because to me, that's that's a statement.
That's not it's not a statement that could be backed up by any evidence.
You'd have to timeline his life out.
Right. So I also don't agree with the statement.
I know plenty of men that have been raised by women and learned how to be a man from women.
It was not it was not the people like Jason Williams in my life.

(58:26):
It was not the people who I ran into.
How I knew how to be when I dealt with someone like you was because of my grandmother and my aunt.
And I hear you. I see you. I'm telling you just the things men do.
A man that never set me down and
said these things to me like the woman in

(58:47):
my life set me down and told me take care of your
children be be be be a
be a be an honorable man be a man of understanding lead with respect like just
the things of father just the same things your father probably taught you is
the thing like because a man said it it's supposed to be different i'm saying
the things that your father would have said to you when he come out of men's,

(59:09):
but so, so, so right. Listen, so listen.
So if your father gave you a piece of fatherly advice, right.
And it was, that was good manly advice. But a woman said the exact same thing.
I would listen. I'm not saying she can't say, but what I'm saying is who did
she get that from though?
She gave you the advice of what I'm. So my father told me, all right,
as a man, this is how you're going to be challenged as a black man.

(59:30):
And when you do this and when the cops come, you do this and you do that.
Right. As a black man, I took that. My mom could tell me the same thing.
And it be true. And I still listen. And she raised me right.
But where is she getting that from? Because she don't go through that.
No, she don't go through that. Yo, yo, mom, don't. So she got it from a man
who told her that went through that.
Yo, what I'm saying is she got it. But what I'm saying is the advice or the piece on it.

(59:54):
No, that's cap. My granny. Sure.
I'm going to tell you how I knew how to act in the workplace.
There was some man influence on her to give you what you get.
That is the craziest shit ever.
You about to get us canceled. I'm just joking I'm Kevin But to say no So women
don't deal with oppression So women don't deal with oppression It's like a life lesson A life lesson.

(01:00:20):
Men working tough shit though right As a
black woman My granny did construction She started construction
in the 70s So when she went
It wasn't a lot of black men on the job Let alone black women Hanging
sheetrock and shit like that So when she went to these classes and
shit she not only dealing with racist being a racist because
or dealing with shit because she's a black person she's dealing

(01:00:42):
with it because she a woman so when she came home and she like look and
she taught me don't let anybody mess up your money when you're going through some shit
on the workforce don't ever get too angry and let
a situation mess up your money that's coming from
her experience a man could have said the same shit to
me a man could have said hey as a black man on the job you're
gonna be going through shit people gonna be fucking with you because you're a black man it don't
matter it's the lessons that you teach as

(01:01:05):
parents it's gave something that was everybody exactly that's
the same shit you just said about your dad with the police that's
universal black women when they pulled over by
the when black women are pulled over by the police they go through a person
as well too but it's not as frequent as men how the fuck do you say that let
me give you this santa blaine all these women has been killed and shit too bro

(01:01:25):
that's the ones That's a general ass statement So you telling me So you telling
me That you think It's just as many black women Being pulled over As black men.
Just as many know. That's so it's more so they're not going,
so they can't speak to it.
So they can't speak to a young black boy on how to conduct himself when he's
being pulled over by the police. Because that's what taught me.

(01:01:45):
That's how I was pulled over with the stack. I don't know. I'm going to just
say this to him. That's how I was pulled over with the stack.
Let me get this. Let me connect. Let me get the word.
Whatever advice you get don't matter because we've seen people act different
ways and get treated the exact same.
No matter how you act, the police is going to treat you like how the police
is going to treat you. So, I mean, to me, that's just a separate conversation.

(01:02:07):
Go ahead. What's crazy? This is what I don't like. I just sit back and we're fighting. It's a dream.
Nah, nah. Really, bro? You seem like you're kind of taking it personal. Like, we have that.
We can have a... No, I know. I'm not doing that to win. But I'm just telling
you how it's coming off, bro. We can...

(01:02:28):
Sometimes it get like this over Madden with me and my friends.
Well, that's a generation thing. Listen here.
Check this out. He said, see, let me tell you what we ain't doing.
Whether you believe or understand what I'm about to say to you or not,
we ain't listening. We in trouble.
And ain't nobody hearing nothing. I don't want to argue.
I want to get to a point. Like he said, how do we fix this?

(01:02:49):
It don't matter who said what. How do we fix it?
Don't matter if the woman was strong, the man was weak. It don't matter.
How do we step into it now?
How do I fix it? Now I work with a
bunch of kids and they ain't getting no guidance. How do we fix this now?
I want to go back to the past because the past was history.
And we need to look at history and see how damaged we got. It's in the argument.

(01:03:12):
I don't want to argue. I didn't come to argue. I come to win.
How do we fix it? That's right. How do we fix it?
By knowledge, by wisdom, by looking back. Because I'm going to tell you,
to be honest, I ain't turned into a man until I start finding God.
I'm going to be real with you. He gave me principle. He gave me what I needed
to have. It wasn't about nothing else.
Because, see, I wasn't a man. Because, see, I didn't want to go there.

(01:03:33):
But if we all look deep inside ourselves, we ain't been what we're supposed to be.
Look, see your faults. See where you are and correct it. Because see,
I can't, listen, I got some sons.
I'm leaving here. When I leave here, I'm going to apologize to my son and give him some money. Why?
Because I didn't do everything I needed to do. God's talking to me,

(01:03:53):
telling me now, get it right. It don't matter what happened in the past.
It don't matter who said what. Fix it now. Fix it.
Fix it. Fix it. That's my point. Fix it. So it ain't about, see,
the hollering and the yelling. It's irrelevant.
Black people are strong. Let's leave it there. I'm not going to stand up here.
Let's leave it. And say what a woman As a man Let's leave it I am Let's leave

(01:04:15):
it Black people are strong.
Arabs Strong people Let's leave
it But now Now we got a job And our job
is as men As men Before we sit up here And say what women need to do As men
We gotta get right as men I'm not I'm not disagreeing I'm not disagreeing I'm
not disagreeing I'm not disagreeing I'm not disagreeing I'm not disagreeing

(01:04:37):
I'm not disagreeing Nothing you said It's not a disagreeing We having a conversation
I don't want you to feel like that big bro.
We passionate we speak and we men we do that We're going to disagree because
no every conversation any conversation up here ain't gonna go any conversation
ever to go We all agree with each other.
I'm sorry you feel like that We we gonna butthead sometime and we gone and we're
not gonna agree and it's gonna be that and that's what's so great And that's

(01:04:59):
what we gonna teach the young black men.
It is okay to disagree Have a conversation learn and and grow Like I said,
learn from other people's perspective, learn from other people's points of views.
This is what I was about to bring with you, right? I was raised by my father.
But my father alone is not the reason that I'm a man. Not my father alone.

(01:05:22):
You see, this thing is like a puzzle, right? It's like a puzzle.
It takes a village, and we have gotten away from that.
This is why my role is important when I tell you I'm the baby whisperer,
right? Just last night, I was at a little party. It's a little girl, a little baby.
She's like one and a half years old, two years old, right? She's mean.
My girl, she don't want to let her pick her up. She don't want to let nobody touch her, all that.

(01:05:46):
Baby girls say, give them to him. Insert the great. What do you think the girl did?
She came right to me. No crying, no none of that, right?
So when I talk about, and that doesn't prove malehood, right?
That's energy, right? That's energy. But guess what?
I got energy. I got understanding. And energy ultimately comes also,

(01:06:06):
too, from your knowledge that you have.
Because if you don't have a certain knowledge, right, then you can't feel a
certain type of way for the most part, right? Right.
So these men all along my journey, man, my name is being changed to Azar,
Ma and Barker L. I got that from men.
Right. Who saw something in me.
Right. That started to give me an understanding.

(01:06:27):
And so, like I say, and I love my father. Rest in peace. I had two fathers.
OK, I had my biological father. I had a stepfather. This is why I can be the
way I am with other people's children.
Right. This is why I can take care of other people's children,
because at the end of the day, all the children are ours.
That's malehood. That's manhood. Okay? That's masculinity. You have a duty when

(01:06:47):
you see the little child acting up.
Hey, we not doing that. Stop that. I don't care if I know you or not.
I didn't get that from a man, though. That's part of our duty, right?
And so for myself, right, I've been placed together, and I'm a man's man.
I'm an individual walking to a room. I command and demand attention and respect.
Period. I ain't got to say nothing. I don't have to say anything.

(01:07:09):
I got to say that before I point that out. I don't have to say anything, right?
It's in you. Right. And guess what, though? I learned from these men who took
the time to show me exactly what I'm supposed to be. And guess what?
That don't take away from the women who also had influence in my life. I just didn't have that.
And it's nothing. It is what it is. That's something that we have to deal with,

(01:07:32):
right? Right. And we have to repair because what we didn't receive,
we have to give to the next generation. So now it's our duty.
Right. Not for us to argue about what the wrongs that a woman,
the wrongs that a man let us look at. Right. Because we have to be aware. Right.
We have to be aware because it is our duty. So as a man, it is my duty when
I step in a room, I see children, I see something going on. I'm a commanding figure. Guess what?

(01:07:56):
I need to step in and play my role. and and
and what you say you say you didn't have
it you did you just didn't know like i'm
saying you know i got it from you got partners
you have partners when you grew up right y'all trying to tell me where i got
being no listen man just listen i'm trying to tell you that we're just trying

(01:08:16):
to tell you that he called me so yeah we're just trying to tell you let me let
me say this but wait hold on what's up with that what's up with the cameras
though Hold on. Listen to what I'm saying.
You're saying that a woman...
Taught you everything, right? Or are you saying that you didn't get it from a man's perspective?

(01:08:38):
Those things that you say, hey, I picked that up from a man.
I picked this up, how to go in the room and come in there, how to make sure
I take care of a visit. When I stayed on 8-8 and Keele City, all the kids loved me.
Everybody knew I was going to say something to your damn kids.
But did you hear what he said when he said it takes a village?
Yeah, he got that from a man. I'm telling you, I didn't get that from a man.

(01:09:02):
You subconsciously got it from outside of it?
No, I did not. No, I did. I'm telling you.
I'm telling you. No, I'm not telling you. My partners, I didn't learn shit from them niggas.
How are you telling me what I learned some shit from them?

(01:09:24):
I'm telling you. You telling me when my partners is going to get in stolen cars,
when my partners is going to get in stolen cars and shit, right?
And they doing shit they're not supposed to do.
Stick out his chest and get hit, but didn't tell a girl to do it because- Man, listen.
Man part from a man. Man, listen.
Do you hear what you saying though? Like you saying, you telling me I got certain,

(01:09:45):
you don't know that she got it from a man.
You can't just say, you can't just say she got it from a man.
She got it. That can't be your answer for every single thing.
You can't just keep saying. Moving to college post is, this is why there's two different things.
It's two different things. It's two different things.

(01:10:06):
It's two different things. But listen, there's two different things.
So everything in the world just came from man then? No.
Some just came to me. You may not believe it, but some just came to me.
Where did both of them get it from? Who? The man and the woman.

(01:10:26):
Where'd they get it from? God.
Hey, look. When you said that earlier, I wanted to say that,
too. And that was the most- I think I'm going to stop now.
I think you heard. No, because we're going to talk about that.
That's why I asked you that earlier, too.
That's why I asked you how you felt about polygamy. Because it's like,
do a man supposed to- Polygamy. Polygamy. Because I see a lot of that's being pushed right now, too.
That shit is running rapid. People being in relations with you people and stuff.

(01:10:52):
But he's supposed to be that as well.
It's only not accepted in the West. Hey, let me talk to my brother. I got a thing for you.
Whatever God puts in your heart for you to do, that's what you do.
You don't worry about the other part because it may not be right.
But you don't know what it is until God gives you what you need.
When God gives this to you, that's how you walk. Walk in what God gives you.

(01:11:13):
Don't worry about what's on the outside of you because we don't know what that
is. That could be anything.
But walk in what God gives you.
That's what being a man is. that's what that is where did they both get it from
cause see we talking all this stuff but where did they get it from who,
created and made us so that's we're at peace especially if it's good if you
don't accept that that's.

(01:11:36):
Tradition man I don't agree with that either I love that because that's all
everyone's taking and I love this I love this shit I love this I love being
able to congregate amongst men,
and pick brains Because like you said, what I didn't get, this is the most I ever got right here.
Sitting and doing this. Because like I said, my grandfather was always there.

(01:11:59):
He was always at work. I did always see a man.
And like I said, this is what I did. I did not realize this until I was an adult. Until I was an adult.
I'm going to touch on this. I did not realize these things until I was an adult.
My uncle, my Uncle Johnny. Shout out to my Uncle Johnny. He didn't have a job
or nothing like that. He was just a hustler.
He had hella kids. But he took care of all his kids. He was always around. I'm Graham.

(01:12:20):
Was he ever sitting me down and giving me fatherly advice? Did he ever sit me
down and tell me these things?
No, I saw them happening, not knowing I was watching them happening.
But the things they was doing and shit like that, they never stopped and told
me, hey, this is how you do it.
Hey, nephew, this is what you do this. Or hey, grandson, this is how you do this.
The things a man was supposed to be like, how you said a woman,

(01:12:43):
like when a woman would teach me how to be a gentleman, she was telling me what she wanted.
A woman was telling me how to
be a man that way, because she was basically speaking to what she wanted.
A woman is the most important thing to a man. She comes from us.
This is supposed to be our partner.
This is why you're supposed to treat them right because that's supposed to be
our second and better half.
And we're supposed to cherish them, honor them and protect them.

(01:13:04):
And as men, we have failed them.
That's why they are at the state that they are at right now.
Because as men, we weren't men for so long and they had to carry the burden
of taking care of this family.
Although they've been doing this since slavery, when they used to have to feed
us from their breasts and shit like that. They've been taking care of us.
Guess what we've all done? Got away from God.
Okay, listen. Just slow down. You got it. You got it. Slow down,

(01:13:27):
and you can answer your own questions.
Slow down. Look, look, look. You just did. What? Not to cut you off. You just did.
Remember when we was just talking about how you got everything from your granny,
right? Mm-hmm. You just said you was watching your grandfather.
You was watching him. No, no, no. I didn't say I was watching him.
I said I could have been watching.
They were there the whole time. But what the shit that

(01:13:48):
they was doing I'm not missing anything We Like You
me I'm you We Until we come
together Let me say this to you Until we all come together like this We ain't
right We right We ain't together now We ain't where we supposed to be Unless
we all come together like this Come on let's be real Once again Where does all
this come from I don't care what you think you believe Where does it come from

(01:14:09):
The man and the woman Got their revelation From where God,
That's my belief man I'm going to take it there because guess what?
Why are we arguing over where it came from? It's not arguing.
It's not arguing. It's a discussion.
It's a discussion. But the discussion seems like it ain't really going nowhere.
Like you said, it's going like it's spinning, and it's not really,
we're not getting an answer to it.

(01:14:30):
I said it, but it's not just that. The stuff we're talking about is,
I know we said, we talked earlier, you said it seemed like he's taking it personally.
This is personal because we're talking about conditions that exist,
but not even just family.
We're talking about conditions that have impacted us, and we're really concerned
about how it's going to impact future generations, right?

(01:14:52):
Right. And so we're talking about stuff that has impacted us personally.
Yes. I mean, to me, that is a personal statement. Personal to passionate.
No, it's passionate, but it is personal because, no, to me, it is a personal
statement to say I was only raised by women.
No no no listen listen what i'm saying no listen what i'm saying
listen listen listen listen it's a

(01:15:15):
person it's a personal statement it is personal to
say i've been raised by women and i'm a man and then
somebody says women can't teach boys how to be men
that's a personal statement because now one of two
things have to be true that statement is either false or
i'm not i'm not the man i thought i was no
no but i hear what you said you said that you could pick it up subconsciously and

(01:15:36):
I'm not saying I don't think do I
think they was like hey scoot you ain't no man because you was raped by women
no I don't think that I'm talking about generally yeah but it's a statement
it's a general statement but it applies to your life so you because you don't
think he was saying you're not a man but everything that you responded with
was well everything you responded with was,

(01:15:59):
your personal life you were and so and the other piece is we also don't want
to get too caught up in this the personal stuff to where we forget that there's
a socialization around it, right?
Because there's two ways, there's at least two ways you learn from what you
see and receive and what you don't see and don't receive.
There's things that I do because I didn't see them, I didn't receive them.

(01:16:21):
Some things just feel right and some of that has to do, I think,
with when you get your energy right.
When your energy is right, your energy will guide you to what's right and what's wrong, right?
And there are things outside but the subconscious is also going to pick up the
negative too, right? For sure. And so.
There's no real answer to what we're talking about, but it does.
I do want us to not get caught up in this.
This thing you said it, P.T., we don't want to be like and have we don't want

(01:16:44):
to be like and have the same conversations everybody else is already having,
which is a lot of women bashing, because the truth is, is that everybody's messed up.
And you ask me, we could we could talk about it, you know, all day.
But at the end of the day, it really comes out of, you know,
racist, classist, sexist, white supremacist ideology that's been forced upon us.

(01:17:05):
Right even you said if it takes a village to raise a child right
but we all said that we all agree on that right but even
a two-person household if you really look into the history of
all these things it does go back to it comes out of
these european white supremacist mindsets right and
it and it yeah and there's so many other pieces around even
though even in some of the language we use some of the some of

(01:17:26):
this but some of the stuff we said even related to god some of
it when you if if you break it down and maybe this is another conversation or
episode some of it sounds like possession right it's
like it's a woman your partner is a woman your equal is a woman your
guide or is a woman your possession a lot of people
the language gets used too interchangeably to
where i think it feeds into the white supremacist language so i just say all

(01:17:49):
that to say is that there are different things around us that are going to socialize
it just like we're talking about women are being programmed we're all being
programmed we talked about that last week We're talking about it today because
what we're trying to do here is we're trying to deprogram.
We're trying to interrupt the program. We're trying to unplug.
Unlearn. We're trying to unlearn, but then we got to relearn.
If we unlearn something, we got to relearn something else.

(01:18:11):
So our responsibility is to come forward with, well, if I'm watching this, what do I need?
If I unlearn, what do I need to learn? How do I need to be? Who do I need to become?
And I do think that one of the things that you hit on the head is,
and then you doubled down on it, was what's the problem? How do we fix it?
And for us, it's like, all right, well, if the we don't does not even go back to who can teach,

(01:18:35):
boys to be men, right? Let's go back to what we do know is true for each of us individually.
We can teach boys to be men. We can. I don't know who can't. I know we can.
So how are we going to do that? What are we going to, what's the message?
So that's all I just wanted to add in.
Can we bump it up on that? Yeah. Kick it off.

(01:18:58):
What is, like, let's leave them with that. Let's leave these guys with that. What should a man be?
Let's give them that. that we if i never got it what's if
you can give a young man right now with nobody to give him some game some
advice on what should a man be let's leave him with that so i'll
go first and i'll answer it by starting your thing what you said is this
is the most you got this is the most we've all got two parents one

(01:19:19):
parent no parents this is the most we all got so i'm gonna leave him with this
like i said i know it's a new generation this ain't arguing this is the way
we debate nowadays and we love each other so i'm so this is gonna be good to
show each other that y'all we all have differences we all are figuring this
out but you still my brother so yeah i mean i'm give me a hug you know any of that like,
this is what you do and you was like I love women and I love women and I want

(01:19:40):
to come to a better understanding of how he feels about what he was saying and
I'm here I just not supposed to just tell him man you know you gotta you gotta,
I don't know it's different cause I found my own way that's the best way and you just gotta,
stand on your word stand on your square and handle your business yes sir non-violently.

(01:20:04):
Yeah intelligently intelligence intelligence i think
uh yeah i mean that's a deep question i wasn't really
prepared to answer but i say that's why i'll just say the question again
that's how i buy myself some time what if you could
just give a young g who didn't get that who ain't gonna have nobody telling
what it is to be a man like what's just one piece of any piece of advice that

(01:20:25):
it's all good advice like i said he might not have anything to say i think the
the best advice i could give is as you're coming up and trying to find your place in the world.
And I think the first thing I think is just maybe even getting away from what
does it mean to be a man, right?
And just focusing on like, what are the things that you need to nurture your spirit?
What's nurturing your soul? What's helping you develop and grow?

(01:20:47):
And I think a lot of that has to do with.
Just trying to find balance in your life. Because I think whatever advice I
feel like I could give is advice I've given myself or tried to follow.
And we could talk about relationships.
And y'all know I've been through the gamut. So I'm not sitting here like I've got it all figured out.
But I know that to me, the external forces are so violent and so disruptive

(01:21:08):
that whatever you think you got figured out, something external is going to
come and sideline you. Something's going to railroad you.
So it's really about being at peace with yourself and really trying to find
the things to help nurture your spirit and nurture your soul.
And that doesn't mean like go find religion or anything like that.
I'm not trying to give some obtuse explanation.
I think the truth of it is if you really focus in on what you want to do with

(01:21:32):
your life and where you want to be, like for you in that instance you talked
about in the beginning, you could really sit and be like, I'm not trying to
go to jail or be dead. I'm trying to be here for my kids.
That's going to help guide you more than anything. What does it mean to
be here for your kids what do your kids need how are you going to
help them nurture and develop them into you know
being fully human and i think that's what a lot of it

(01:21:53):
has to go into is identifying the what
is what does it mean to be a human like being able to actually engage in and
express emotions being able to talk to people and just getting away from you
know just getting away from bad advice you've gotten from people and so yeah
that's that's the general getaway you gotta find out what's the bad advice and
stay away from it and look in the opposite direction open the doors as they told you not to open?

(01:22:15):
Open the doors they told you not to open.
Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn.
Hell of an episode. I appreciate it. I love my brothers. This is good energy.
This is what God told me to do, OG.
This right here. Do it. This is how I'm going to get it back.
This is how I'm going to preach.
Somebody spoke to me like a couple months before I started to get back into

(01:22:38):
God and really have a relationship.
I always had a spiritual relationship with him, I believe.
But before I started reading that book and really trying to learn him and understand
him, Somebody told me that I was going.
It was like 14 of us on the phone, you know, FaceTime and stuff.
Now we can do that, talk on the phone to 14 people.
And I was on the phone with my partner's mom, who was a pastor.
And she said, one of y'all on this phone is going to do ministry.

(01:22:59):
And I'm like, man, that's probably my son. Because every time I get off the
phone with my son, he tells me, Dad, pray.
And I'm like, man, that's for my son. And she said, no, if it was meant for
your son, he would have heard it.
Hung up with her a couple weeks later. I just found myself just saying his name
or saying God and giving the glory or all the things that was happening to me,
positive speaking and saying it was God.
And when I started doing it, I'm like, dang, this is what ministry is,

(01:23:22):
just preaching his word. I ain't gotta be in no church and no suit or nothing like that.
So when I started doing that, I called her and was like, yo, you was right.
And that's what God told me to do. I want everybody to feel this,
for all I've been feeling now.
I want them all to feel how good I be feeling since I've experienced him talking
to me and telling me that he present in my life.
And if I could talk to the young G's, And tell you anything as a man.

(01:23:47):
Things you possess did not make you a man. Do not hold value about the things you possess.
Hold value in the things you do in this world. Do good in this world.
Be positive, be kind, be a man of understanding. It is okay to walk away from situations.
That's what I'm trying to learn. It's okay to say, hey, you know what?

(01:24:08):
Cool, man, I can walk away from this. We don't do that enough.
Think. Think before all your actions.
Provide. And I can't express enough how do not let the things in front of you determine who you are.
Don't let your circumstances say, oh, because I don't have this, I'm this much of a man.
No. So what you're going through right now, you're being forged just like a

(01:24:30):
knife, man, like a sword, bro.
Like when you when they put it in there at first is weak. It ain't strong.
It got to go through that fire. It got to come out, be beat with a mallet.
Sometimes it ain't fixed when they come out and they got to go back in there,
burn again and be beat. That's you.
That's what life is doing to you so that you could become who you need to be
to slay and do what you need to do in this life.

(01:24:52):
So get comfortable in that shit. Life going to throw that shit at you.
Get comfortable in the, you feel me?
And it's going to make you a different kind of individual.
And when you be that individual, you're going to look back and know,
damn, that's because of it.
You couldn't have been the man you become without that shit.
So get comfortable in that shit, man.

(01:25:13):
Don't worry about it, nothing there. It's going to be all right.
Keep your head up like your nose bleeding.
Don't close the book on yourself, man. You don't know what chapter life get
good for you. So before you get done writing, don't close no pages.
Don't skit none. Don't try to tear none out and hurry up and get there.
Just get there. Teach.

(01:25:34):
Practice patience, perseverance. Slow down.
Listen. One of your biggest attributes is to hear. If you can't hear,
then you ain't going to be able to function right.
Always practice what you know is right. Follow the truth. Find it no matter
what. Seek after it. You got to put some work in.
Do the work. Do the work to find out who you are.

(01:25:57):
We're so busy on the outside listening to everything but who we are.
Find who we are, find yourself, and God will come through.
They say, I don't want to put religion, but I was created, I was made.
I didn't create myself. And when I ask for help, when I seek after help,
it comes. It's like that.

(01:26:18):
I'm 66 and now I'm free because Because now I'm not struggling with society's woes.
I'm understanding because now I can listen.
Now I can hear young people. Listen.
Learn. Never feel that you can't learn anything because that ain't real.
You may can't read and write right now. You may be struggling in the midst.

(01:26:42):
Practice. Patience. Learn.
Perseverance. When I put those principles in my system, I became who I needed to be.
Be who you are. You came individually, unique, just like you are.
Stop trying to search after and find something that you're not. Be you.

(01:27:03):
Seek, seek, seek.
I just got one more thing I want to say my young G's, old G's, baby G's, all the G's.
This life is like a, it's a vapor.
Before you know it, it's over. And like my boy was saying, we got to go through the fire.
In this life, we have obstacles.

(01:27:26):
And we as people try to go around the obstacles all the time instead of going through them.
Sometimes, not all the times, but sometimes
you need to go go through those obstacles see what
it's like come out better on the other side and
when you come out better on the other side you know how to move you move a little

(01:27:48):
bit different you know as long as you gain something from it then can't nobody
tell you nothing man yes sir uh what i want to say to the young people especially
the young man is this establish unto yourself principles
and forever live according to them.
You see, when you talk about the storm and we talk about the storm that life throws at us, right?

(01:28:14):
The principled individual has the ability to weather the storm.
When you don't have principles, meaning you have already set what you are going
to do and what you are not going to do, but make sure that they are righteous principles, right?
Okay. These are very, very important. So establish those principles and live according to them.
And you don't have to worry about going wayward. And so what? That life is tough.

(01:28:36):
Because in all reality, calm seas do not make for good mariners.
That means those who have never really been through anything,
when life actually starts to get rough, it's going to be hard for you to deal with life.
This is why we have so much. I don't even want to go there. I just want to say
that it's very difficult.
Life is not an event. It's a journey.

(01:29:00):
We living for the journey That means the journey gonna go up and down It's gonna
go sideways You're gonna have some consolidation periods Where life don't seem
like it's going nowhere But I'm gonna tell you something real quick,
These is for you that are grinding and you don't seem like life is taking you nowhere.
The Chinese bamboo tree, you plant it, you water it for a year. Nothing happens.

(01:29:23):
You water it again for a year. Nothing happens. That's two years,
three years. You water in it for years.
You're watering it. Nothing happens. Everybody, the whole world is looking at
you like you crazy because you are watering something.
You standing over a patch of dirt. Right.
And it ain't growing and you look crazy to the rest of the world. But guess what?
In that fifth year, that Chinese bamboo tree can grow up to 90 feet in a year.

(01:29:48):
See, this is nobody sees the actual hard work that people have to put in to
become successful and successful has nothing to do with finances, man.
Has nothing to do with money or material things and none of that.
That's what they have taught us. This is why we have to put on all this stuff
to feel like we somebody preach.
You don't need none of that you don't

(01:30:11):
need none of that in fact you should be doing quid pro quo you should
be doing business and buying things with people that are going
to come back and support you that's what you should be doing
that's what you should be doing so with that being the case i'm gonna tell y'all
thank you you know for uh coming to the player circle podcast where we don't
try to fit a square into the circle and understand here you come to get deprogrammed

(01:30:34):
and reprogram so you can get with the program. And we're going to holler at you.
Play a sucker podcast. Tune in. Real quick, hold on. Put the camera on me.
This shit right here says cognac all over. That's not a fucking cognac.
It's nasty as fuck. Don't drink this shit.
I'm so mad about this shit right now. If I didn't say shit all podcast. So.
Hey, wrong. Wrong, bro. This shit say liquor. You. Okay.

(01:30:59):
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